Live from the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, Michigan!
Your hosts are Chris Kanyon and Pamela Paulshock
Live from the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, Michigan!
Your hosts are Chris Kanyon and Pamela Paulshock
Kanyon: Yo, WHO BEDDA DAN KANYON?!! AND WHO BEDDA DAN PAMELA?! No one! Not Ayane or Road Dogg or Megan and Lilith! And who bedda than hostin' Riot Rulz on the eve of All Hallow's Extreme!!
The dance music from Iczelion cues up as the Scarlet Foxfire makes her way out onto the stage, looking to the cheering fans, then she makes her way down to the ring.
Pamela: Scarlet Foxfire now makes her way down to the ring! Is she human or Mobian? Is she male or female?!
Kanyon: She's both.
Pamela: Wheeee, and the mental images just keep soaring out of my brain! >=P
Scarlet climbs into the ring, and just as she does--
KRAK-KOOOMMMM!!!!
"A Violent Reaction" cues up as the flames explode, signaling the arrival of Kane and Christina!
Kanyon: Wow! Look at the bandages on Kane! Raven sure did a number on that guy! And look at the pretty little number by his side! Wow!
Pamela: Kane came ready to fight! He's on a roll as of late and... what the hell--?!
Kane and Christina are half-way to the ring when suddenly the image of Sweetooth appears on the Jumbotron!
"HEY!! KANE! YOU!!! YEAH, YOU! WITH THE FACE!!"
Kane pauses, turning around and looking up at the Jumbotron. Christina does too, as does Scarlet.
"Hey... now that I got your attention, Big Red Freak... y'know, I haven't forgotten our last encounter... how you kept that little rugcat of yours away from me. Well, guess who I ran into after school?"
Sweetooth reaches down from off-camera... and pulls up a bound and gagged Ariel and Sakura!!
Kanyon: HOLY CRAP!!
Pamela: This isn't good...
"See, here's what's going to go down!!" Sweetooth shouts. "Meet me here by Halloween, or else I'm gonna... let's see, what am I gonna do? Oh, yeah... I'm gonna clean the Japanese girl like a fish and make Ariel watch! And after that? Well, I rented a tree mulcher and I want to put it to good use... so hey, if it can munch up wood pretty easy, imagine what it can do to soft flesh and delicate bones, huh?"
Kanyon: That sick son of a...
Pamela: This is getting serious, here!
"When you get here, Kane... we're gonna have ourselves a good ol' fashioned street fight! If you win? Well, I'll let the two tykes go. But if I win, and I will... I'll feed 'em both to my mulcher, and we'll just see how cute two piles of hamburger can get!!!"
Kane clenches his fists, then rushes away from the ring, with Christina following. The referee, Charles Robinson, blinks, then shrugs, beginning to count Kane out. Scarlet looks at him and--
Kanyon: Whoa! Scarlet just touched ol' Chuck and he passed out!!
Pamela: I guess she didn't want to win that way... who wouldn't? Now she's following Kane!
Kanyon: Well, this match went out the window... we gotta take a commercial break, we'll be right back! ^^;
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T|-|15 15 4 (0/\/\/\/\3R(14L LOL XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
***
[--DURING THE BREAK--]
Kane and Christina haven't even bothered to change out of their ring outfits as they head out of the arena. Scarlet quickly follows.
"KANE!! HEY, WAIT!!" she calls out, stopping the Big Red Machine and Christina. "Wait! I'll go get Rik! We can help you get the girls out of--"
"NO! Kane growls. "Sweetooth wants me to go alone... so I will. I don't want to take any chances. End of discussion."
Kane and Christina both leave Scarlet behind... the police zoot sighs, then crosses her arms.
"... Sorry, Kane... but kidnapping IS against the law..."
Scarlet turns and runs in the opposite direction, as we return to our commentators...
**Commercial Break**
The teams for the number one contendership tag team match are already in the ring, looking ready to start. Stevie starts it off in the ring, as Tommy Zen is in for the Experimentals. Their team mates take their respective corners on the apron, as the bell rings, signaling for the match to begin.
*ding, ding, ding*
Stevie and Tommy quickly start with a collar-elbow tieup, as Tommy pushes Stevie to his corner, showing his strength, but Stevie fires back with a spear to Tommy! Stevie picks Zen up, and quickly drops him with a suplex. Stevie makes a quick tag to Blue Boy, but as Blue Boy steps into the ring, Tommy hits with a drop toe hold. Tommy quickly goes to work, as he whips Blue Boy to the ropes, and takes him down with a dropkick. Tommy grabs him by the hair, and holds him as he makes a tag to Dave Star. Star takes the chance, and quickly hops into the ring, and goes to work on Blue Boy. Star takes Blue to the corner, and follows in with a running monkey flip. Star then hops to the second rope, and plants Blue Boy with a legdrop! Dave picks Blue Boy up, and whips him to the ropes--as Blue Boy comes back, Star goes for a back body drop, but Blue Boy lands on his feet behind Star! Blue Boy clinches Star in a Reverse DDT to gain some offense! Blue picks Star up, and grabs his arm, jumps to the ring ropes looking for the Blue Blaster, but Tommy Zen shakes the ropes, and Blue Boy lands on his "unmentionables"! Star then takes the time to clotheslines Blue Boy out of the ring, as Tommy goes to work on him on the outside! Star has the ref get Stevie as he tries to come in, as Tommy cracks Blue's skull on the outside with a steel chair! Then, Tommy rolls in Blue Boy as Star makes the cover!
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One!
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Two! .
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Thr--
Stevie gets in the ring, and manages to break the count up. Star tags in Tommy, as Blue crawls to tag in Stevie. Blue is almost there, but Tommy grabs his leg, and Blue stands on one leg--EZGURI--blocked as Zen ducks the kick, and drops a elbow right into Blue Boy's spine! Zen picks Blue Boy up, and attempts a short arm clothesline, but Blue ducks it, and hits a neckbreaker! Blue Boy dives to his corner to finally make the "hot tag" to Stevie Richards! Stevie jumps in to clobber Zen! Star gets in to meet a clothesline from Stevie! Blue Boy pounds on Zen, while Stevie has Star. The bWo tantum whips the Experimentals to the ropes at the same time, as Stevie gives Star a flapjack! On the other hand, Zen ducks Blue Boy and throws him out of the ring sending him flying in the air to the outside! Zen quickly hops out as Stevie works on Star inside, and Zen throws Blue Boy onto his blue bWo Saturn! But, Blue Boy fights back, and pushes Zen off, then Blue Boy hits a big splash off the Saturn onto Zen's midsection! Blue Boy then proceeds to drag Zen back to the ring, and throw him in. Stevie takes out Star with a clothesline over the ropes. Blue Boy sets up Tommy for a Reverse Powerbomb, but then Stevie comes and hits the Superkick right on Zen's skull, and THEN Blue Boy plants Zen with the Reverse Powerbomb in their version of the "Blue Light Special"! Stevie makes the cover...
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One!
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Two!
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Three!
Winners of the match, and Number One Contenders for the EAW Tag Team Titles >>> the bWo
**Commercial Break**
(Booker's Note: Sorry about this...Shelby was supposed to do the match, but wasn't able to.)
After they make their respective entrances, Hokuto and MAIKU begin to fight in the ring.
When Test comes out, Crash (a drunken one) jumps him screaming "IT'S MINE! IT'S MINE!" As Crash tries to kill Test, the men in white coats come and take him away.
Also. The Symbiote Squad comes out carrying Michael Whitewind signs such as "Whitewind still sucks!" "Jobber fest 2K1: Whitewind vs Brooklyn Brawler" and "Whitewind fears Gillberg!" which inrages MAIKU. They also start a "You're still Whitewind" chant(similar to the all too famous "You're still Aldo" chant).
Test hits the ring and starts to brawl with MAIKU. He and Hokuto do some double teaming (but very little).
Test seems the most comfortable with using weapons, and uses them throughout the match, including countering an incoming chairshot from MAIKU with a big boot, and gut-wretch powerbombing Hokuto onto a broken section of safety railing.
One of the symbiote squad (Brakk, the green symbiote) sprays green mist to the face of MAIKU, nearly costing him the match.
The match spills out to the back, with MAIKU bleeding in a way that even his facepaint is running, Hokuto begins to surprisingly take advantage, but a shooting star press from a stairwell onto a table missed when TEST makes a save for MAIKU!! Test attempts the Pump Handle Powerslam, but MAIKU slips free, low blows Test, and hits an Ultra Nova onto a concrete floor covered with lead pipes, and scores a pinfall, securing the EXTREME TITLE!!!
**Commercial Break**
"Live Wire" by Motley Crue cues upas we return from break.
Kanyon: Welcomeverybuddy here back to EA-dubbya Riot Rulz!! Up next heah our main event!! Featurin' one tag team that couldn't be much closa...and anudda that that couldn't be much closer to rippin' each other apaht.
Pamela: Right, right...Mikey and Oseiko vs. their 'evil twins' here, next!!"
"The following tag team match up is scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining. Introducing first, from Mars, Pennsylvania, in another dimension...he stands 6'2" and weighs in at 235 lbs....'The MAX' Max Connelly!!!"
The stage lights up with flashing lights, as Max comes out with a modified, inverted-color version of Michael's usual red-and-black tights. He's pelting with garbage by the crowd, and lashes out at one of the spectators, decking him in the side of the head.
Pamela: I think ref is going to have a teensy bit of a problem keeping order here...
Kanyon: Well, that's going to cost him a large fine by the commissioner, to say the least. Max here doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself...if even him.
Max gives the old Austin's double-finger salute to the crowd before flipping off the top rope in a Muta-sault.
"Martyr" by Fear Factory then cues up..
Kanyon: And now...the girl personally responsible for Oseiko nearly losing her will to compete--
Pamela: *THIS* month. Last month was Lou Cypher.
Kanyon: WHO'S FUNNIER THAN PAMELA?!--EVERYBODY!
"and his tag team partner...from 'the Darkside'...standing 5'7" and weighing 122 lbs.--Arana!!"
Arana rushes out onto the stage...quickly...silently. She's wearing a mesh long-sleeve shirt (and little else under it), spider's-web pattern red hotpants, web-pattern knee and elbowpads, red Shamrock-style boots, web-pattern gloves. She stealthily makes her way inside the ring--and orders Max onto the apron.
Kanyon: Match hasn't even begun--but Arana wants to start out...yeesh...and he seems to want to, too...yeesh, this'll never work out..
Pamela: I think it will--can't you sense the chemistry?
Kanyon: Yeah, light a match, and they'll explode in a second.
"There's a Fire in the House" by Steve Vai cues up...
"And their opponents...introducing first, from Mars, Pennsylvania, ...he stands 6'2" and weighs in at 235 lbs....'Code Red' Michael Connelly!!!"
After his elaborate intro, Michael walks halfway down the aisle...not taking his eyes off the (arguing) Arana and Max.
Kanyon: Connelly a good buddy 'o mine...and he's got fire in his eyes, indeeeed.
Pamela: Good ol' Mikey...good ol' simple-minded Mikey. Good ol' naive Mikey. Good ol' lost-the-People's-title-on-Mayhem Mikey.
Kanyon: Well, wasn't his fault in the slightest...
"Strobe's Nanafushi" by Kodo cues up...
Kanyon: Mikey wisely waiting until she gets out here before jumping into the ring.
...but then it gets interrupted with a record scratch sound, then we hear Oseiko's voice in Japanese; subtitles appear on the Jumbotron... "No no no... that won't do. Let's try something more extreme..."
Then in English, "Okay, let's go!"
Then "Ride On Shooting Star" by the Pillows cues up, and out comes Oseiko dressed in Hardyz-style jeans, black boots, arm bands, and a black haltertop leaving her tattooed back bare. ^^
"....and HIS tag team partner...from the forests of Hokkaido, standing 5'7" and weighing in at 115 lbs, Oseiko!!!"
Pamela: Oh great, now she looks like a Hardy Girl. In a Hardy World...
Kanyon: If you dare sing that song, you'll getta Kanyon Kutta right through this table...
Pamela: ...ulp...
Kanyon: Mikey greeting Oseiko with a big ol' hug...1sies...2sies...3seis--papa beats rock--I guess Mikey will start...
Kanyon: Mikey in--Max decks Arana....Mikey and Max in the middle of the ring...rights from each one of them...Mikey sends Max to the ropes--Max grabs the ropes--Mikey slides underneath him and under the bottom rope--snaps Max forward, and he lands face down on the mat!! Michael up on the apron quickly--springs over--elbow barely connects!! Max up--tosses Michael over the top rope--Michael grabs hold the top rope!! Max hits the far ropes--DROPKICK through the ropes connects on Mikey!! Mikey out to the outside!!
Pamela: YES!! Now we'll see just who's the better here...Max just taking Mikey to school here--uup...right on the safety railing!! And again and again and again!! Side backbreaker--excellent move!! And Mikey getting trounced by his superior counterpart.
Kanyon: Mikey getting up...clothesline by Max--MICHEAL CATCHES IT!! COUNTER!! WHIRLWIND DDT!!! Shades of Shaed himself!! THAT's how you beat yourself--do something you wouldn't expect.
Pamela: ...yeah...what he said. Mikey pulls up Max...rolls him back into the ring now...Max getting up very slowly--Michael snaps his neck down across the top rope!!
Kanyon: Great move there...Michael in...pulls Max away from the rope...hooks the leg--
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ONE!--kickout!! Aw damn...he may have gotten more if he hadn't had to roll him back into the ring, get in, THEN cover him. Michael setting up Max for a Russian Leg Sweep--Max blocks it--back elbow...Max sets him up--T-BONE SUPLEX!!!
Pamela: There ya go...a classic Max Connelly maneuver!
Kanyon: That Michael also employs...Max pulling up Michael...going for a bulldog--Michael tosses him over--behind him--SLEEPERHOLD!!--Michael in trouble here...Max modifies it into a cobra clutch!!--runs backward into the turnbuckle...turns around--Michael ducks the clothesline--Max though with an arm drag...Max up--neckbreaker by Max!!
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ONE!
.--Kickout by Michael!!
Pamela: Ugh...even with the different tights, it's getting tricky to tell them apart.
Kanyon: Michael dazed...Max going over towards Oseiko!! Oseiko with a knee to his midsection! High kick! MICHAEL ROLLS HIM UP!!
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One!
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Tw--Kickout!
Pamela: Gonna take a HELL of a lot more than that...but...is she ASKING for a tag?!
Kanyon: Indeed she is..and--Michael tags Oseiko!! Now thingsizgonnapickup!! Michael pulls up Max...locks on an abdominal stretch! Oseiko with kicks to the midsection...Michael now setting up Max...Max to the ropes--DOUBLE SPINNING HEEL KICK!!!
Pamela: BIG MOVE!!...Big deal. COME ON MAX!!
Kanyon: Oseiko pulls up Max...Michael back to the outside. Knees into the midsection by Oseiko...now--snap suplex!! Oseiko with the cover...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Shoulder up!
Pamela: Max has her right where he wants her...Max up..catches the kick!!--flips up Oseiko--Oseiko back on her feet--DROPKICK!! Max back up...ducks the crescent kick--sweep kick...Oseiko up..arm drag...hammerlock--slam!! Max dragging her by the ankles to his corner--tag to Arana! Arana up and over--LEGDROP across the back of Oseiko's neck! Max outside...and Arana going to work on Oseiko. Now...MAX CHOKING OSEIKO!! HAHAHAHA!! I love it!!
Kanyon: Catapult by Arana--Snapping Oseiko's neck against the bottom rope!! Vicious move...dragging her out to the middle of the ring...cover..
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ONE!
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Kickout by Oseiko!!
Pamela: Haven't seen much out of Arana yet, but gotta admit she's kicking tail..
Kanyon: Yeah, since Max has made sure she kept the advantage...Arana pulls her up--SMALL PACKAGE BY OSEIKO!!
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ONE!--kickout!!
Pamela: Damn...nice reversal, though. Oseiko kippups...ducks the roundhouse from Arana--Oseiko grabs her leg! DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP!! Oseiko grabbing hold still...reels her in--SHORT SPINEBUSTER!!
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ONE!
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Kickout by Arana!
Kanyon: First time these two have met in the ring in a match...next Wednesday it'll be one on one...backdrop by Oseiko--NO! Arana lands behind...backslide attempt..fighting each other...Oseiko flips herself over Arana's back--Arana jumps over the sweep...kick to the midsection...
Pamela: VENOM FANG by Arana!!
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ONE!
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TWO--KICKOUT BY OSEIKO!!
Kanyon: Great counter move by Oseiko...Arana makes the--OOOH!! Belts him in the back of the head--does that count as a tag?
Pamela: I think so...I think the ref rules it a legal tag. Max in, and shoves Arana down...Oseiko shaking her head as she gets up...Max yanks her up...Full Nelson!! She fights it best she can...DRAGON SUPLEX by MAX!!
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ONE!
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TWO
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Kickout again!! Oseiko could use a tag from Michael here, and fast!
Pamela: Well, Max and Arana are going to try to pummel her cute little ass until she can take no more...besides, they're MUCH more vicious.
Kanyon: You may be right about that...Michael pacing on the apron like a caged animal. Max mounting Oseiko...hammering away on her...
Pamela: You gotta think..for seconds at a time at least, she may have forgotten just WHO that was...
Kanyon: I don't think so...MAX CHOKING HER NOW!! Come on, at LEAST wrestle her instead of doing this cheap crap...Max pulls her up...tag to Arana again...armwringer by Max...Arana with a headlo--DDT!! And cover..FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!! Arana drags her away..hooks the--Oseiko kicks Arana!! Oseiko getting up..Arana charge--DROP TOE HOLD by Oseiko!! Arana getting up---ducks the clothesline--catches her!! REVERSE TIGER SUPLEX!!! Arana goes for a ride!! Oseiko with a corkscrew legdrop!! Now going up top...aaaaand--450 SPLASH!!!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!! Arana had some time to recoup...Michael stretches out his hand...Oseiko diving--TAG MADE!!
Pamela: Oh no...
Kanyon: Michael in!! Arana getting u--MICHAEL WITH A CLOTHESLINE on Arana!! Nearly turns her inside out...sends her into the ropes now...hits the opposite ropes--SPEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!!!!!
Pamela: SPEAR my ASS!! That's a...GOOOOORE!!! GOOOOOOOOORE!!! GOOOOOOOOORRRRRE!!!
Kanyon: Mikey undoubtedly PISSED at what she did to Oseiko...and taking it out of her ass. Mikey pulls her up...sends to towards the rope--reversal by Arana...go behind--back elbow by Michael...Arana locks on an Octopus Stretch on Michael!!!
Pamela: This could be it!! This could be it!! A VERY powerful submission hold here...
Kanyon: Michael fighting...fighting it--ARM DRAGS ARANA!! Escape by Michael!! Back body drops Arana!! Michael tags Oseiko!! Michael pulls up Arana...sends her into the corner...
Pamela: Now...oh come ON...Michael down on all fours...AIR OSEIKO!!!
Kanyon: Arana dazed...Oseiko with a Hurracanrana!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Arana with a reversal!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!!
Pamela: COME ON ARANA!!
Kanyon: Arana up...Oseiko with a high kick--Arana ducks--breakdance-style sweep kick!!--Oseiko dodges it...armdrag!! Both of them up...knucklelock now...Arana attempting to overpower Oseiko...knees into the midsection--arm-lock neckbreaker by Arana!!--Oseiko blocks it!! Arana repositions--REVERSE VENOM FANG!!! Arana with a cover!
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One!
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TWO!!
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NO!!! Arana frustrated...she goes for the tag to Max...MAX TAGGED IN!!!
Pamela: Here we go now...Max in...hammering away on Oseiko...to the ropes...BELLY TO BELLY Suplex!! Oseiko up again...Max goes for a high heel kick--Oseiko ducks--go behind...Oseiko going for a victory roll!! Max trying to fight out--OSEIKO GOING FOR THE KUMO NO AMIMOMO!!!!--but Arana attacking her from behind...Michael in now...Max with a cheap shot now--GERMAX SUPLEX on Oseiko!! Arana and Michael on the outside...Max going outside...
Pamela: A STEEL CHAIR!! Max up on the apr--
Kanyon: KUMO NO SASU on Max!! Max eats that steel chair!! Michael slams Arana on the outside...back up to the apron--a tag made by Oseiko...Michael's legal now...
Pamela: Oh great...after Oseiko uses that steel chair to CHEAT!!
Kanyon: Actually, it seemed like he move it in front of him, in a reflex to try to block it...plus he SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD IT ANYWAY!!! Michael rolls him in...Oseiko with a standing moonsault--MICHAEL WITH A SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP!! Great teamwork...Max dazed, they pull him up...Oseiko and Michael now--TOTAL ELIMINATION!! TOTAL ELIMINATION!!!
Pamela: WOW!!...incredible!! Oseiko back out onto the apron...Michael hooks the leg!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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SAVE BY ARANA!!
Kanyon: Dammnit...Arana pulls up Michael...to the ropes...scoop--Kumouchikomu!??! DAMN...a helluva lotta strength in that girl.
Pamela: But of course...uh oh...Max taking a rest on the outside.
Kanyon: But she isn't legal!!!
Pamela: Yeah she is, I hear she's 18 right now..
Kanyon: I don't mean that way...the referee forcing her out...Max in--LEAPING CHAIRSHOT on Michael!!!!
Pamela: Screwing with the ref's head...gotta love it...
Kanyon: Max pulling up a barely-even-there Michael--the Condition Red!!! But I think Max calls it the "Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am" like Doring...Cover...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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THREE!!!
*ding, ding*
Winners by Pinfall >>> Max Connelly and Arana
Pamela: The EEEEEEEEEEVIL ones win!!!
Kanyon: --by cheating. Whatta shock, eh? Now what, they gonna kiss and make up?
Pamela: Noooo...they're...double teaming Connelly...Oseiko in to help...Arana stopping her..!!
Just then, TRIPLE H of all people appears from the crowd...
Kanyon: What the?! What's Hunter doing here?!?
Pamela: Maybe to admire the--ARANA TURN AROUND!!!
Kanyon: She does--oh boy...doubled over...PEEEEEEEDIGREE!!!
Pamela: NO NO!! She's one of your own, Hunter!! She's a heel too!
The crowd goes INSANE as Arana is dropped by the Pedigree!!! Hunter then stares at Max...
Kanyon: Maybe Hunter thinks this means Max DID know about her all along--I wouldn't want to be in his boots...
But Hunter spins to the side--kick--DDTs OSEIKO!!! This prompts...quite the opposite reaction...
Kanyon: Than again...maybe not...but Hunter now stomping away on Arana.
Pamela: Max is just like..."eh, later dude..."
Kanyon: Naw, he don't give a damn about his own partner...but Hunter getting a bit of revenge for Arana attacking him earlier this month.
Pamela: That's no fair...maybe Arana just was going through PMS or something...I'm sure she's not ALWAYS like that...
Kanyon: Well, this was an INCREDIBLE Riot Rulz...but next time, we wanna see you people at All Hallow's Extreme!!! This Wednesday!! Live on Pay Per View!! Order now if you haven't already--