Signs in the crowd tonight: "KIRK: PLEASE DON'T GO!" "EAW: No Necrophilia Needed." "Eighteen = Love Machine?" "Stone Cold: Future 7 Time World Champion!" "Big Show Ate Funaki" "Don't Support Your Local Drug Dealers: Grow your own!" "Bring Back Ainako!!" "WWE: What the World Stopped Watching" "CRMAC = One Lucky SOB =P" "David Flair paid me to cheer for him" "EAW needs Mattitude" "Mikey's Butt = ***** 5 stars!" "Satan: Tear HHH's Quad again. Amen" "Akikotude!" "Oseiko: come into MY parlor" "Paul Heyman: Big Show's real daddy" "Brock Lesnar: the REAL Legend Killer" "Nova invented bringing signs at wrestling events"

Kanyon: Welcome everyone to EAW Mayhem! We are only 6 days away from All Hallows Extreme, where we will see some of the biggest matches of the year!

Pamela: Including David Flair taking out Seven in a Japanese Death Match!

Kanyon: But first we have to get through this evening...

"Gonna Fly Now" starts to play over the speakers after the opening is over, and out from the entryway comes Kirk Angel, wearing his blue workout pants, white sneakers, and the American Angels T-shirt.

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the one and only, Kirk Angel!

Kanyon: And it looks like we is gonna start right away with the announcement from Kirk Angel! Wonder what the Olympic Gold Medalist will have to say…

Pamela: Hopefully an announcement that he's leaving EAW for good! One Angel per show is too much as it is, and we have that brat Erica to deal with.

Kanyon: Will you behave Pamela? The crowd doesn't seem to want Kirk to leave though, listen to the ovation that he's getting as he comes out.

Pamela: The people are sheep Chris. They only follow who EAW wants you to cheer.

Kanyon: No Pam, they're NOT a WWE Raw crowd.

Pamela: Well, that's true.

Kirk gets into the ring and poses a bit for the crowd, listening to them cheer for him. As his music dies down, the crowd starts to hush, not sure what he'll say.

"Thank you Canada, for that amazing reception you've given me!" he begins.

Pamela: SUCK UP! SUCK UP!

Kanyon: SHHH!

Pamela: Spoilsport.

As the crowd's cheering dies down, Kirk sighs. "You know, I've been in this company for over a year now. I've seen some people come in, wanting to make their dreams come true, and I've seen people go, upset about their dreams not coming true. And then, there are people that come here, and fulfill their dreams. Like myself…"

Another "Please Don't Go" chant cues up from the crowd. Kirk looks around, smiling softly. "People…this is very hard for me to say…I don't know how I'm going to do it…but the truth is that I’m…

"NOT LEAVING!"

Kanyon: WHOO! The double-swerve there!

Pamela: Damn, we got to put up with more of him?

Kirk smiles out to the crowd and the loud Angel chants that have come up, and holds his hand up for them to die down. "No, you see, just because I've reached the top of this business once in my career doesn't mean I want to stop there. I have MANY good years ahead of me, and thus, we get to my announcement!"

Pamela: Hey, maybe he's gonna say he's breaking up the American Angels and wants a piece of Erica.

Kanyon: What is it with you and the Anti-Angel sentiments?

Pamela: I'll tell you later.

Kirk looks to the confused crowd. "My announcement is…that at All Hallows Extreme, Erica and I will be taking on Sonnette and Glenda for the EAW Tag Team Championships!"

Kanyon: WOAH! And THERE'S an announcement there! The former champions are challenging the current champions to a match at All Hallows Extreme!

Pamela: What is this all about? Throwing out challenges without any justification!

"Glenda, Sonnette, if you think that you are ready to take on the American Angels, then Erica and myself will be glad to take you to the limits of your potential. Oh it's true, it's DAMN true!"

"Gonna Fly Now" cues up again, and the crowd cheers loudly at the announcement they just heard.

Kanyon: An amazing match challenge laid down by Kirk Angel right there! And if I know Glenda and Sonnette, they'll accept the match!

Pamela: Who really gives a damn about the Tag Team Championships right now? Kirk Angel is just stroking his own ego…

KRAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!

Kanyon: Sound of breaking glass...and you know what that--

Pamela: Yeah, yeah. :P

....Stone Cold Steve Austin appears at the entryway as Kirk makes his way back to the ramp. They just look at each other, for what seems to be an eternity, but in reality is about a minute... Finally, Austin just smirks at Kirk, and walks past him to the ring...

Kanyon: Hmm...wonder what that was all about...although I for one would love to see them in a match together.

Pamela: True...but I don't think that's what Austin's out here for--after all, he has a big match at All Hallow's Extreme.

Kanyon: Right.

Austin trudges down the ramp in his usual no-nonsense style to the sounds of Disturbed's "Glass Shatters," as the crowd gives a roaring pop. He glares as he climbs into the ring, snagging his foot on the bottom rope as usual, and tugging it off, and the makes his way to all four ringposts, raising his fists and bobbing his head back and forth as he shouts unheard, and no doubt inappropriate, proclamations under the white-hot lights of the P.N.E. Coliseum.

Kanyon: The crowd on their feet for a wrestling icon, still in peak condition I might add, the incomparable Steve Austin!!

He adjusts his baseball cap and circles the ring a bit, before raising the mic to speak.

"It's been a few weeks since Ah've been in the ring..." Austin says solemnly, pacing back and forth, waiting for the fans to chant their customary "WHAT!" before continuing. "Part o' that's mah fault, seein' as how Ah've been on a little quest for the past month or so, it's gotten me a little distracted... But it's gotten me to thinkin'... Since Ah've gotten here, Ah've forgotten who Ah was a little bit. Between having to reveal to Blink that Ah'm a parallel to Sabretooth, figurin' out hidden pasts with Eighteen, and takin' a trip to All Hallow's Eve to have a chat with a little girl about good 'n evil, Ah've gotten mixed up on why Ah'm here..."

Pamela: Now THAT is an understatement.

Kanyon: Keep blabbin' Pam...second thought--don't..SHUT UP!

He takes a deep breath as the fans shout "WHAT!" once more. "Ah'm here to be the best at what Ah do, and that's kick people's asses!" he shouts to the fans, who give a rousing pop at that proclamation. "Ah hate to say it, but Savvy, you're about to get your ass kicked tonight! Nothin' personal."

Pamela: Er...no..

"WHAT!"

"Just business."

"WHAT!"

Pamela: I hate this...

Kanyon: WHAT?!

"And when Ah get done with tonight, that takes me to Brock Lesnar for All Hallow's Extreme... Ah'm gonna do what Rock, Hogan, and the Undertaker couldn't do, and beat his ass down! Once again, nothin' personal kid...just business... And after Ah get done kickin' Brock's ass at AHE, Ah'm startin' the first leg o' the Number One Contender Tournament..."

Pamela: Until David beats him.

Kanyon: Hush. =P

Suddenly, the familiar guitar riff of Brock Lesnar's WWE Entrance theme cues up...followed by Megadeth's song "Crush Em". From the entryway, alone surprisingly, is Brock Lesnar...a Brock Lesnar shirt, jeans, and black boots offsetting the WWE Championship belt around his waist as he glares at Austin from the ramp, which he starts walking down towards the ring.

Pamela: O_O BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!!

Kanyon: I do believe he's taken, Pam.

Pamela: Where's Paul?

Kanyon: Hopefully NOT here...

Austin just smirks, lowering his microphone and taking off his baseball cap. As Brock approaches the apron, Austin has already untucked his "What?!" T-shirt and is removing the watch from his wrist...

Kanyon: Austin looking prepared to do battle here, if he has to...

Lesnar gets into the ring, and gets a mic, and smirks as he goes in. "Well, the "Raging Redneck" himself finally decides to return to EAW action. Good, I didn't want you to be rusty when you face your decimation."

Kanyon: Ooooo!

Pamela: Hehehe...way to tell him Brock!

Austin looks down at his knee and smiles. "You have no idea just how ready Ah am for you..." Austin says, smiling. "Ah gotta say, though, it's gonna feel good to kick ya in the gut..."

From the crowd, "WHAT!"

"Stick yer chin on mah shoulder..."

Once again, the crowds, "WHAT!"

He slaps both of his hands together in front of Brock's face, still holding onto the mic. "STUNNER! Layin' some STANK on it!" He looks at Brock, eyes wide with anticipation, with a somewhat crazy look on his face. "We're gonna see who gets decimated on Halloween... and just so's nobody can say Ah cheated..." He holds up his hand, which is missing the claws that he had not a week ago... "Ah'm on the same playin' field as you now..."

Pamela: Hah, you WISH!

Lesnar smirks. "You should have kept them the way they were..." he says, grinning sadistically. "Austin, you're not facing a man...you're facing a human monster." he says, punching his chest once, kinda hard looking as well. "You're facing a man who couldn't give a damn if you were human, mutant, or robot. I destroyed Legends, Legends in the Making, and American Bad-asses as if they were just some rookies." he notes, making sure Austin remembers the "Big Three" that he has beaten. "What makes you think that you'll be any different than those three?" Lesnar says, smiling. "You'll get caught in the F5, and get pinned, just like those three were before you."

Kanyon: Brock cocky as all hell, but considering what he's done, I guess I shouldn't be shocked.

Pamela: You heard it folks--Chris gave him props!

"One thing yer forgettin'," Austin snaps back, flecks of spit flying into Brock's face, the Rattlesnake is so close to him, "Ah ain't gotta broken hand, Ah ain't passed mah prime, and Ah DAMN SURE ain't fool enough to dance around in the ring tryin' to drop an elbow on ya!" He nudges Lesnar's and says with a smile, "An' don't go countin' on that fireman's carry o' yours... Because if you think Ah'm gonna lay down from one o' those... you might just end up bitten..."

Kanyon: And Austin snapping right back at him! He's not ready to give up before the match just because he's facing Lesnar!

Lesnar sighs. "Your ego is going to get the best of you, Austin. I'll finally get to destroy you, once and for all. And when you're down on the mat, withering in pain on the mat, looking up at the lights at me, standing tall with the WWE Championship in hand, you'll know that you have faced the better man."

The crowd boos, as Pamela nods, smiling.

As Stone Cold goes to retort, from behind Brock comes the "Hardy" girl from Mayhem! She's still completely covered in blue and white face and body paint, but the few strips of hair peeking out from beneath her bandanna are now a platinum blonde. She sweeps Lesnar off his feet with a low spinning kick, and as the Next Big Thing tumbles back, she catches him and plants a big wet kiss on him! Then she drops Brock, and in a lightning fast dash Lou Thesz Presses Austin and kisses him as well! Then before either man can react, she slides out of the ring and escapes to the audience... under the blaring of Godsmack's "Awake."

The JumboTron, meanwhile, displays the message to the style of Jeff Hardyz' entrance vid, "X-Treme Desire... Lighten Up Boys... This Girl Is Here For the Gold..."

Kanyon: The hell?!

Pamela: O_O What the hell?! Okay, that's GOTTA be Lilith!

After this attack...Lesnar just has one thing to say..."WHAT?"

Kanyon: *chuckle* Well, I don't know the deal with that...but...I do believe that's the mystery girl that's been showing up lately in the EAW--and apparently she's an amorous sort. Kinda like you, Pam.

Pamela: I AM NOT!! >_<

Austin wipes his mouth, and shrugs to Lesnar. "See ya at All Hallow's Extreme, champ." Then he leaves the ring, just a tad bewildered.

Kanyon: Folks, we'll be back after this!

***COMMERCIALS***

As we come back from the commercials, we show the ring, where Gary Michael Capetta is standing.

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, our opening contest is a qualifying match for the EAW World Title Shot Tournament! It is set for one fall under ECW Rules!

Pamela: FINALLY we get to in-ring action!

"Rock The Party (Off The Hook)" starts to play, and the crowd erupts into cheers.

Capetta: Introducing first, from San Diego, California, she stands 5'10" tall and weighs in at 121 pounds, Lexay Too Sexay!

Pamela: And one has to wonder, how many people did she sleep with today to get to where she is?

Kanyon: From what I've heard, Lexay is a virgin Pam. She got here on pure ring skills.

Pamela: Please…Lexay being a virgin is about as believable as modern WWE HHH putting on a Five Star match!

Before Kanyon can retort, "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks starts to play, and the crowd reaction turns slightly mixed at the tall, shapely female figure entering.

Capetta: And her opponent, now hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota, she stands 6' tall and weighs in at 127 pounds, "Superstar" Kelly Connelly-Flair!

Pamela: Now HERE'S a girl I can respect! She waited until marriage before giving herself to a man…PLUS she's a smart woman.

Kanyon: I can't argue that fact at all, and Kelly has slowly been building up a stable of superstars as their manager, which includes Michael Connelly, Steve Austin, AND Akiko Nakano.

Pamela: And then there's her first and best choice, David Flair! One of the most handsome men in EAW today!

Kanyon: See people, this is what's called a suck up! Kelly in the ring, and we're now underway!

Pamela: And look at Kelly pace around her opponent a bit…she doesn't want to start up anything, which is probably her style of wrestling.

Kanyon: What STYLE…she hasn't even had more than 10 matches yet, how could she develop a style?

Pamela: Backstage planning, Chris!

Kanyon: Riiiight. Lexay trying to get a tie-up in on Kelly, but Kelly going outside the ring, apparently reluctant to get things started like this with Lexay.

Pamela: Well as all good wrestlers know, you want a match to go your way. And Kelly didn't like how this match seemed it was gonna start.

Kanyon: A half-true statement, one that I would agree with if Lexay was a real wrestler. Nonetheless, Kelly getting into the ring now in…woah…her own unique way.

Pamela: Chris, you forgot your drool bucket. =P

Kanyon: Er, now Kelly is ASKING for a tie up…Kelly has a height advantage over Lexay, and a slight weight advantage as well…but does that help her strength?

Pamela: Kelly's a strong girl…I mean, she has to put up Austin's beer breath!

Kanyon: Kelly tying up…and manages to get a headlock into Lexay! She's wrenching away…and Lexay just tosses her onto her back with ease! And Kelly catches a kick in the jaw as she tries to get up, that sends her down onto the arena floor.

Pamela: Damn, I thought that Kelly would have had Lexay's number there! Take a breather girl, regroup…

Kanyon: Nothing of the sort happening there, as Lexay leaping over the top rope onto Kelly as she paces on the arena floor! Lexay rolling Kelly into the ring, and a rolling guillotine legdrop onto Kelly! Cover!

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TWO

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And Kelly BARELY getting a shoulder up there!

Pamela: But that shows you that she is willing to continue fighting Chris! Kelly is a survivor, and she's not gonna give up!

Kanyon: …I hope that was an accidental quote right there. Lexay getting Kelly up to her feet now, and a Belly to Belly suplex by L2S! The cover!

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TWO…Kelly kicks out again!?

Pamela: You sound surprised Chris! Kelly is a very resilient girl here. She'll be able to give Lexay a run for her money!

Kanyon: Right now though Lexay is in firm control of the match, sending Kelly off the ropes, and catching her with a nice dropkick! Another cover…

Pamela: But Kelly's height is coming into play! Her feet are in the ropes thanks to her long legs!

Kanyon: Lexay letting go of the legs, and Kelly squirming out to her feet now. Lexay going in towards Kelly…but a headbutt to the gut by Kelly stopping this offensive!

Pamela: YEAH! That's the way Kelly! Show why you are more than just a pretty face!

Kanyon: Kelly off the ropes, and a scissors kick by the 6-foot tall girl! She seems confident that she has this won now…going for a cover.

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TW…kickout!

Pamela: The hell? Well, I guess stamina is high for a slut like her, right Chris? She needs it…

Kanyon: Kelly kicking away at Lexay's body before she can get up…but stops now. What's she doing?

Pamela: This IS ECW rules Chris! She's taking full advantage of that stipulation!

Kanyon: This to her is what could possibly turn the tide in her favor! Kelly going under the ring, and bringing out all the hardware she can!

Pamela: …wow, I know us girls are pack-rats, but look at all that stuff that Kelly has! Trash cans, street signs, a replica WCW Title belt…and the crowbar!

Kanyon: And Kelly seems like she wants to end the match early on, as she's going right for that crowbar…the signature weapon of her husband David Flair!

Pamela: And Kelly now sliding into the ring…this is the best strategy she could have! And she swings!

Kanyon: SHE MISSES! And Lexay…Shake-O-Matic onto Kelly! Holds it now for a pin!

One

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TWO…and Kelly with her foot on the rope.

Pamela: See this? This is what's saving Kelly…her intelligence! You take Kelly out of that ring and the combined IQ is 46!

Kanyon: I wouldn't go that far Pam…but Kelly is a smart girl. Lexay grinning now at having the momentum going into her favor…and calls for the Party Crasher!…but stops?

Pamela: Hey look, it's David Flair! David Flair his making his way to ringside! …why is Lexay grabbing a chair while facing David?

Kanyon: She's making sure that David doesn't get involved in this match, knowing his track record.

Pamela: He's just standing at ringside…minding his own business.

Kanyon: That's a stretch, to say the…WAIT A SECOND! KELLY WITH A SPIN-HEEL KICK TO THE CHAIR! LEXAY SEEMS TO BE OUT COLD!

Pamela: WHOO! Good job Kelly…on her knees now…

Kanyon: Kelly with a cover…David trips on something on the outside…HE'S HOLDING LEXAY'S FEET!

One

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THREE!

*Ding Ding Ding*

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, Kelly Connelly-Flair!

Pamela: WHOO! Mark this day down in your calendars, people! Kelly Connelly-Flair has advanced in this tournament, and she will either face Mike Sanders or Lilith in disguise!

Kanyon: Are you already forgetting about David Flair holding Lexay's feet?

Pamela: That was just a slip…merely coincidence, that's all!

Kanyon: Ugh…well, unfortunately this means that Kelly will move on in the tournament…we'll be back after this.

***COMMERCIALS***

"Hey... I guess I really DID screw your brains out!!"

WE WON'T SCREW YOU WHEN YOU'RE DEAD

***

Pamela: Hey, Kanyon?

Kanyon: Yeah, Pammy?

Pamela: It's pretty obvious that the WWE is trying to copy us, but did we EVER do a necrophilia piece?

Kanyon: Don't think so... but that Finality girl who was here a long time ago... she was pretty hot and she was a zombie...

Pamela: ... Uhm... yeah, I guess... and... oh! >=) YES! WE DID do necrophilia!!

Kanyon: Huh?

Pamela: Kaye and Sasori! And Kaye as a female Kane! And Sasori was a ghost! EWWWWWWW!!!!! IT'S TRUE!!! IT'S DAMN TRUE! KAYE AND KANE ARE SICKO NECROPHILIACS!!!! EWWW EWW EEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Kanyon: ...

Pamela: It all fits!! Kaye and Sasori... Kane and Katie Vick! OH MY GAWWWD!!!!!!!! @_@

Kanyon: Can we please move away from this convers--

Pamela: And this Crow girl running around the city... I bet SHE is Katie Vick! @_@!!!

Kanyon: ENOUGH!

Pamela: Sowwy. ^-^;;;

Kanyon is about to say something, but then notices someone dressed as Cobra Commander, passing out G.I. Joe Vs. Cobra toys... action figures, 12 inch figures, vehicles, etc.

Pamela: Ooo!

Pamela stands up and goes to "Cobra Commander" with a mic.

Pamela: Hey, what's going on! Is the EAW and Hasbro doing a tie-in promotion tonight? Who are you?!

"Cobra Commander" looks to Pamela, then leans in close to the mic.

"CC": I wassssss once a mann... yeesssss...

Pamela: ...

"Cobra Commander" then goes back to passing out toys as Pamela sits down next to a laughing Kanyon.

Pamela: Oh, shut up. >=p

Kanyon: ^_^ Let's get the match started!

"Conflict" cues up first and Nova comes out to the stage with Crysta next to him. Crysta gets some cheers, but Nova gets the majority of the boos as the two head down to the aisle.

Kanyon: A kind of mixed reaction with Nova and Crysta here...

Pamela: Poor Nova... having to dump Molly like that. But the little trollip deserved it.

Kanyon: Trollip?

Pamela: Yeah, trollip.

Kanyon: Who says "trollip" any more? =/

Pamela: Oh, bite me. >=P

Nova and Crysta climb into the ring as "One Step Closer" cues up--

Kanyon: WHOA!!!! LISTEN TO THIS REACTION! THE WHOLE ARENA IS BECOMING UNGLUED AS THE HOMELAND HERO, BRET "HITMAN" HART, HEADS OUT TO THE RING!!!

Pamela: I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK, KANYON!!!! THIS IS NUTS!!!!

Kanyon: THERE'S NO DOUBT WHO'S THE FAN FAVORITE HERE TONIGHT, PAMMY!! BRET HEADS IN AND-- OHHH! NOVA ATTACKS HIM FROM THE GET GO! REFEREE MIKE CHIODA RINGS THE BELL! THIS MATCH IS UNDERWAY!!

Kanyon: NOVA TAKING IT TO HART EARLY ON! BRAWLING WITH HIM! PUNCHES TO KICKS! BRET FIGHTING BACK!!! NOVA FIGHTING BACK HIMSELF-- BACK BODY DROP!!!! Picks him up... and-- REVERSE DDT-- NO, DDT SQUARED!! REVERSE BRAINBUSTER! NO HART WITH THE REVERSE!! BACKBREAKER!!!!

Pamela: I'm so torn! ;_; Do I root for fellow Canadian Bret Hart or fellow heel Nova?! AGH! CHOICES!

Kanyon: I'm sure you'll figure it out... Hart now-- OH, ARM DRAG BY NOVA! HART ROLLS TO HIS FEET-- BODY SLAM BY HART! NOVA GETS UP... SUPLEX BY HART! Hart picks him up... FOREARM SHOT TO NOVA'S BACK! And.. ANOTHER SUPLEX!! Nova's picked up.... whip! NO, NOVA COUNTERS!!! AND-- SHOULDER BACK TOSS BY NOVA!! HART UP! CLOTHESLINE BY THE HITMAN!! Bret picks Nova up... and Nova-- SCOOP SLAM BY THE INNOVAATOR!! IRISH WHIP NOW... NOVA WITH A MONKEY TOSS! BRET SCRAMBLES UP TO HIS FEET... GRABS NOVA-- DDT!!! NOVA GETS UP, LOOKING VERY TICKED OFF... BULLDOG BY NOVA!! Nova now, picked up by Bret... NOVA FIGHTS OUT OF HIS GRASP-- CLOTHESLINE!! Nova throwing Bret out of the ring now! Arguing with the ref for some reason... and-- WAIT A MINUTE!!

Pamela: HAHAHA!!! CRYSTA GETTING SOME LICKS IN! >=) Er, I mean... that BITCH!! >=/ ... dammit, so conflicted!

Kanyon: CRYSTA WITH A CHAIRSHOT TO BRET!! Now, throwing him back into the ring and the ref didn't see a damn thing! Nova picks Bret up now... MICHINOKU DRIVER!!!! Nova slides out of the ring! What's he... ohhhh... Nova getting the table!!

Pamela: Remember! This is a qualifying match! ECW rules, and Nova was on top of his game back in ECW!!

Kanyon: Damn straight he was! And he still is in the EAW!! Nova slides it in and sets it up in the corner! Nova now... grabbing Hart... SNAPMARE! Pick up... WHIP THE TABLE-- NO! HART HANGS ON!! RUNS BACK TO NOVA-- NECKBREAKER BY THE HITMAN!! Bret picks him up now... GERMAN SUPLEX PIN!! FIRST PIN OF THE MATCH--

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Kanyon: NOVA KICKS OUT! Bret picks Nova up... KICK TO THE GUT BY NOVA! AND-- WHIPS BRET TO THE-- TABLE!!! AGH!!!! BRET BREAKS THE TABLE IN HALF WITH HIS BODY!!!! BRET STAGGERS OUT... NOVA GRABS HIM-- NOVACAINE!!! Nova not done yet... picks Bret up... SIDE NECK BUSTER!!! Pick up by Nova... CROTCHED On the top rope! Nova... OHHH!!! ROCKER DROPPER ONTO ONE OF THE TABLE FRAGMENTS!!!! I THINK BRET'S BUSTED OPEN!!

Pamela: So... torn... @_@

Kanyon: Crysta now... distracting the ref! What's she... NOVA LOW BLOWING HART FOR NO REASON! And now... what's he going to do... wait... WAIT!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!

Pamela: o_O;;

Kanyon: NOVA WITH AN INVERTED PILEDRIVER RIGHT INTO ONE OF THE TABLE FRAGMENTS!!!!! THAT... THAT WAS THE SICKEST PILEDRIVER I'VE EVER SEEN!!! SHADES OF BRET'S BROTHER OWEN, GOD REST HIS SOUL!! Nova's looking confident now... now what's he... ohh... Kryptonite Krunch coming up!! AND IT... CONNECTS!!! It's over! It's GOTTA be over!! Nova covers Bret!

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THR--!!!

Kanyon: WHAT THE--?! THAT GUY DRESSED AS COBRA COMMANDER JUST-- GRABBED THE REF AND PULLED HIM OUT OF THE RING!!! Nova notices! He gets up and shouts at that guy!! And Bret... ROLL-UP!!!

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Kanyon: A NARROW VICTORY FROM THE HITMAN!!! AND THIS ARENA'S COME UNGLUED YET AGAIN!!!!

Pamela: ... still... so torn... @_@;;

Winner: Bret "Hitman" Hart

Kanyon: Nova's enraged!!!! He just grabbed the guy in that Cobra Commander costume and threw him in the ring!!! KICK TO THE GUT!! Nova... KRYPTONITE KRUNCH COMING UP... NO! COUNTERED?!! INTO A-- VERTIBREAKER!!!!!!!

Pamela: WHAT THE F*bleep!*?!!

Kanyon: "Cobra Commander" gets up! Pulls that mask off-- it's.. it's the HURRICANE!!!!

Pamela: O_O! HOLY--!!

Kanyon: Hurricane steps back and signals for the Hurrichokeslam! Nova staggers up... NOVA'S CAUGHT!!! AND-- DOWN GOES NOVA INTO THE HURRICHOKESLAM!!!! RIGHT INTO THE TABLE FRAGMENTS!!!

Pamela: That showoff! >=/

"Dare" cues up as Hurricane climbs out of the ring as Crysta rushes in to check on a bloodied Nova... Hurricane looks on... then gets a mic as he reaches the stage.

"Hey! Crysta!" he calls out. "Tell Nova... tell Nova to expect the unexpected at All Hallow's Extreme! Now you know... and knowing's half the battle!!"

Kanyon: Hahaha!! ^_^

Pamela: I'll say it again. Showoff. >=/

Kanyon: Well, we have to take a break... we'll be right back!!

>**Commercials**

"Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie cues up and X makes his way out to the ring, popping for the crowd.

Cappetta: The following match is a Three-Way Extreme match for the Number 1 Contendership for the Exteme title! Making his way to the ring, from LA, weighing in at 226 lbs, "The Wildcard" X!!

Kanyon: X making his way to the ring, determined. He needs this win. He's on the comeback trail.

Pam: And he's cute too. That's a plus.

Kanyon: But it's not all about who's cute or not. X is definitly a serious conteneder and has what it takes to make it the X-Treme Title.

Light a Candle for the Sinners, Set the world on fire!!

Before Cappetta can make the announcement, Nexus' voice come over the speakers. "Since I won't be at AHE, and I so love Halloween, I decided to dress up for tonights match. In fact, I'm dressing as the EAW's greastest stars, EVER!"

Kanyon and Pam just kinda look at each other.

Nexus steps out with black boots, pants, vest, a chest gaurd that looks like a ribcage, his hair dyed black, and a wolf skull mask on his face, making him have a skull face.

Kanyon: Ryokami?!

Pam: Well, it kinda fits this sick guy's way. He WOULD think Ryokami was the greatest ever.

Nexus then reaches behind the curtain and pulls out a heavy looking warclub and charges the ring.

the bell sounds and the match is beginning before Fasha's even appeared! Nexus leaps from the floor over the top rope with a roar and swings his club at X. X ducks and comes back up grabbing Nexus around the waist for a belly to belly suplex.

"Boom" by POD starts and Fasha rushes the ring. Sonnette smiles in the audience and Glenda, emotionless, leans forward a bit to watch.

Fasha hops on the apron and slingshots herself into the ring, flipping and smashing into X, who in turn falls into Nexus, as they all go down. It's a regular hogpile as all competators pound and wrench at every bodypart they can find.

X is the first to get away and slide out of the ring. He yanks the folding chair from the time keeper and climbs up to the apron and then to a turnbuckle. He then jumps toward his opponants, in a spinning wheel kick, setting the chair up between his kick and his opponants. Nexus takes the brunt of this monouver and goes down, his skull mask flying off now. Fasha is knocked to the side. X covers Nexus, but before the ref can even make a one count, Fasha's tail whips around X's neck and she spins, yanking X off. Her tail stays there, constricting around X's neck in much the same way as a Sleeper hold, while she grabs at the chair and brings it down on Nexus' knee.

X grabs at her tail and propels himself through the ropes, yanking himself away from Fasha, and causing the tail to snap hard against the ropes, stinging Fasha a bit.

X coughs and tries to regain his wind before rummaging under the ring.

Meanwhile, Nexus has grabbed his club again. Fasha, distracted by being yanked bay by X turns to recieve the club smashed into her shoulder. She yells out in pain and grabs her shoulder. Nexus continues the assault, clubbing her in the back.

X finds something to use and hops into the ring, behind Nexus... Nexus howls in pain as X stabs him in the back with a pitchfork?! Pam makes a comment about all they need now are villagers and torches to go after Nexus.

X smashes the pitchfork down on Nexus' shoulders and rakes it down his back, drawing blood and ripping up his vest and shirt. Nexus spins and grabs the pitchfork. The two powerstruggle with it, but Nexus has the advantage in strength. X makes up for that in wit as he kicks Nexus in the nuts. Nexus falls to his knees in pain as X spins the garden tool and smashes it into Nexus' face. Nexus goes down.

Fasha then flings herself into play with a clothesline to X. They both tumble out of the ring and to the mat outside. Stumbling up, they begin to trade blows and Fasha nails X with a Franchiser.

Then leaps over the top rope in a shoulder block, smashing Fasha into the gaurdrail, right in front of Sonnette and Glenda. He grabs Fasha by the hair and smashes her into the barriar and growls up to Glenda and Sonnette. "Like yer bitch now?!" He boxes Fasha's ears and throws her hard into a turnbuckle pose. Before walking away, however, Glenda reaches over the rail, grabs him in a reverse DDT position and drosp him back forth across the rail. He squirms in pain as Glenda sits back down, Sonnette giving her a mock-chastising look.

X in the mean time has gotten himself up and tosses Fasha into the ring. He reaches under the ring and pulls out a singapore cane. He rolls in and begins smacking it hard against Fasha's lower back and her tailbase, bring out screams of anguish from her.

He then grabs the chair in the ring and looks to the crowd and pops for a second chair. Akiko is on the side he's popping too and looks interested in what he has planned. She grabs an empty chair from next to her and tosses it to X. X seems surprised at this but goes along with his plans. He sets a chair up in the ring as Fasha's standing up. He then throws his other chair at Fasha who catches it on reflex. Her eyes go wide in realization right as he springboards off the set up chair and flipkicks the chair in her hands, causing it to smash her in the face. She tumbles to the ground after his X-Calibur move.

X pulls her up and grabs her in a pumphandle position, signalling for the Pumphandle Spike! Buts he's interrupted by Nexus who brings his club across the back of X's head. Nexus lifts X up in a gorrilla press and then drops him, letthing both gravity and his power drive X, lowerback first across his knee, in his new AFP (Anti-Future Plan) move. X screams in pain and Nexus lifts him right back up into the gorilla press and THROWS HIM OVER THE ROPE AND GAURDRAIL! X lands right in Akiko's lap, taking her and a few others out.

Fasha is clutching the ropes for suport as Nexus grins sadistically. He grabs her by the neck and shoves her head between his legs. He hoists her up and gives her a powerbomb! He begins to do it over and over again about 9 times. He then lifts her high for a last one, for an obvious Last Ride style powerbmbs... When Fasha knees him in the face! He drops her and on her way down, she grabs his head--DROPSHOT DDT!!

Nexus is laid out now. X is squirming in the crowd, hardly able to pull himself onto the gaurdrail. Fasha stares at the lights, gasping for breath, obvious that the move took it all out of her.

The ref looks around at the carnage and beins to make a count.

1...

2...

3...

4...

X has pulled himself over the rail and falls in a pile on th eother side. NExus is starting to move. Fasha rolls herself over... an arm draping Nexus.

The ref hits the canvas...

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2

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3!!!

Winner: Fasha!

Fasha rolls out of the ring and can barely stand, holding the ring apron. Glenda and Sonnette hope the rail and hold Fasha up. They raise Fasha's arms. Through the blood and sweat, Fasha smiles as Glenda and Sonnette help her up the ramp.

Pam: Why can't the cute guys win? :\

Kanyon: Well, Fasha won and that's alright with me! All of them did an incredible job, even Nexus, hate him or... well all you can do is hate him.

Pam: Well he does have a hot human form.

Kanyon: Whatevah. So now, Fasha gets to go to All Hallows Extreme to face the Extreme champ, herself!

Pam: Speaking of which, there she goes.

Akiko leans over the rail to check X and seeing he'll be OK as the EMTs take to the ring, she leaves.

Kanyon: We still got a hot show for ya, so stay tuned while we clean up this place...

Pam: Mikey in his shorts, coming up later! :D

Kanyon: ... right...

"Reminded" blares as the fans give a big drop down for Savvy (formerly of Deadly Extremity). Savvy walks down alone, and quickly and runs into the ring and starts a brawl with Austin!

Austin is getting hammered by right hands from Savvy, Irish Whip into the ropes, Back Body Drop by Savvy! Savvy pulls up Austin, who grabs her around the waist and hits an a quick inverted atomic drop. Austin springs back up and Clothesline Savvy to the canvas. He starts stomping away and she rolls out of the ring. Austin tried grabbing her as she rolled out. Savvy takes a long walk around the ring, Austin waits... Wait, he hops to the outside and starts chasing Savvy. Austin is over by the announcer table, Savvy rolls back in, so does Austin. Savvy with a Jumping Elbow Drop to Austin! She stands him up and throws him into the corner, Charging Knee to the midsection on Austin! Savvy taking her time, back hand to Austin! Savvy walks off from the corner.

The fans are starting to chant for Austin to try and make a comeback. Savvy pulls Austin forward, Body Slam followed by a quick Leg Drop. Cover!

One!

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Two!

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Kickout by Austin!

Stone Cold just shaking his head after that one. Savvy pulls him up and starts delivering some right hands still, Irish Whip into the ropes, Back Body Droooooopp no! Austin kicks Savvy in the face, she stands up straight, kick to the gut, Snap DDT! Austin dropped Savvy flat on the mat with that DDT! Austin retaliates and pulls Savvy towards the middle of the ring. He walks towards the ropes, taunting Front Elbow Drop to the face! Another! Another! Quick Elbow Drop by the Rattlesnake! Austin stands up Savvy and throws her into the ropes, she comes back and Austin delivers a Spine Buster! Cover by Austin!

One!

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Two!

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Kickout from Savvy!

Austin catching a breather, but wastes no time. He pulls her up by the hair, Irish Whip, Lou Thesz!! Austin pummeling the hell outta Savvy! He gets back off and climbs the turnbuckle. He turns around as the fans go nuts for Austin, DRIVING ELBOW TO THE FACE! Austin seem to be taking control. He pulls Savvy to her staggering feet, Irish Whip into the corner. Austin walks over and starts kicking to the midsection, Stomps a Mudhole in Savvy! He pulls her back up, and sets her on top of the turnbuckle. He hooks her arm, SUPERPLEX!! Austin took Savvy down flat to the mat and taking himself down pretty hard! Austin and Savvy are down! Savvy rolls towards the ropes and tries getting up, Austin just rolls around and somehow gets to his feet. Austin slowly walks over towards Savvy, LOW BLOW! SAVVY WITH A LOW BLOW! Austin slowly falls to his knees, Savvy rises up slowly. Falling Dropkick to Austin's head! What a cheap shot by Savvy!

Savvy stalls for a little bit, she takes Austin by the head and pulls him up, she throws him into the ropes, Fiery Strike! Austin's head just snapped back to the mat, Savvy with the cover!

One!

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Two!

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Thrrrrrr!!!! NO!!! Austin snaps outta it.

The fans are up and chanting Austin's name. Savvy climbs the turnbuckle, she is signalling for something big as Austin lies in the corner... SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT!! NO!! Austin moves outta the way! Savvy favors her midsection as she just ricotied right off of that mat! Austin makes his way to his feet, he starts stomping away on Savvy. He stands her up and throws her into the ropes, Inverted Atomic Drop! Austin now taking his time as he deals with Savvy. He sticks his boot on her throat and stands on top of her! The ref gives it a four count, Austin backs down. He pulls her up and throws her into the corner. He climbs up...

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Two!

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Three!

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Four!

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Five!

Wait! Savvy pushes Austin off of her, she runs forward and delivers a Jumping Moonsault onto Austin! She locks on a Dragon Sleeper to Austin! He is squirmming around. He shrugs himself over to the ropes breaking up the hold! Savvy with a nice move there on Austin.

Austin trying to regroup by Savvy starts stomping on his back, she stands him up and slowly pushes him towards the ropes. Reversal by Austin, Savvy comes back and tries a Karate Kick, Austin grabs her leg... LEG DRAG!! Savvy falls and rises back up to her feet, limping on that left leg, kick to the gut, STUNNER!! STONE COLD STUNNER!! AUSTIN WITH THE COVER!!

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Two!

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Three!!!!!

Winner by Pinfall: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin

As the glass shatters and his theme plays again, Austin does his celebration by going to all four corners, before we fade off to break.

***COMMERCIALS***

Kanyon: Welcome back to the...

Suddenly, "Superstar" by Saliva cues up over the speakers, and the crowd's booing becomes deafening.

Kanyon: Wait a damn minute, what is David Flair doing coming out here for his match? He has no business coming out here!

Pamela: Yes he does! And you'll hear it in just a minute!

Capetta: Ladies and gentlemen, here to commentate the main event, "The Legend Killer" David Flaaaaaaaiiiiiir!

Kanyon:…ugh, he's coming over HERE? WHY?

Pamela: His wife is in his match, a distant relative is in this match, and his opponent for the upcoming PPV! He has a lot of stake in seeing this match.

Kanyon: You will hold your lunch Chris…you WILL hold your lunch…it'll be hard…

David comes over to the broadcast table, and puts on his headphones. "Hey Chris and Pam, nice to join you here for this match tonight."

Kanyon: The pleasure is all yours, I'm sure.

Pamela: It's great having you here, Mr. Future World Champion! ^^

David: *chuckling* We shall soon see.

Kanyon: Before the match, one question: Why did you help out your wife in winning that match?

David: Look, I tripped over the mats on the floor. I don't think that they were secured properly before the show. But nevertheless…Kelly won that match with her skill alone!

Pamela: See Kanyon, that's what you get for ASSUMING things.

Kanyon: Bah, I know what I saw. Well, it's time for the main event, so let's get this started.

"Name of the Game" starts to play, and the crowd lets out a good reaction as Seven enters.

Capetta: The Following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall with a 1 hour time limit! Introducing first, from Detroit, Michigan…standing 5'11" tall and weighing in at 187 pounds…SEVEN!

David: Ah, the Y factor of the Android twosome. Let's see how he will do against the EAW World Champion.

Pamela: I don't think he has a chance in hell…but personally, I couldn't care either way about this match.

Kanyon: This will be a good chance for Seven to prepare himself against you, David. As well as Michael Connelly for his World Title match this Thursday.

David: Well, I don't know about that first part, but it's very true…and I hope he knows what he's getting into.

Pamela: Wonder what Mikey would think if he was beaten by Seven before his title match?

Kanyon: It would be just another match…though Mikey seemed kinda nervous about this match a while back.

David: Nah, he's faking. Kelly's teaching him well in that.

Kanyon: Seven now into the ring…waiting the arrival…

"Broken" starts to play next, and the crowd's cheers even louder for the arrival of the World Champion…though it gets mixed when his manager comes out.

Kanyon: …of this man!

Capetta: And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Kelly Connelly-Flair, from Mars, Pennsylvania, he stand 6'2" tall and weighs in at 235 pounds, he is the EAW World Heavyweight Champion, "Code Red" Michael A. Connelly!

Pamela: Now what is this? Michael seems to be arguing with Kelly…and she didn't do anything!

David: I just think that Mikey's upset to know that she's got the brains in the family.

Kanyon: Wait, he's pointing over this way…I think that he's upset that you're at ringside, David.

David: Bleh, I'm just here to support him…

Pamela: Yeah…he should be PROUD to know that he's at ringside.

Kanyon: Well, Kelly convincing Mikey now, and both getting into the ring…and Seven seems eager to start this match right now!

David: Of course he does…this IS the closest he'll ever get to getting a World Title match…

Pamela: This is go time! Kelly out of the ring, and there goes the bell!

Kanyon: Michael Connelly circling Seven, and seems tentative to start anything here…Seven seems confident at seeing this now…and goes for a tie up. Seven getting a headlock in on Mikey…and Mikey seems to be in serious pain just from this move.

David: Well, you have to think: an Android putting a headlock on you is like putting your head in a vice.

Pamela: But Mikey slipping out of it now…and gets Seven in an armbar…and kicks Seven in the back of the legs!

Kanyon: Mikey going off the ropes now, and clips Seven right in the back of the legs! Seven going down, and Mikey diving for a rolling arm-bar!

David: Hmm, interesting strategy there by Mikey, we'll have to see if it works…

Pamela: Hey, a modified arm bar submission! Mikey is cutting away the power of Seven!

Kanyon: Wait…both of Seven's shoulders are down already!

One

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TWO…gets the shoulder up!

Pamela: Close call for the android there…almost cost himself the match by being stupid.

David: Well, you do know that Seven's circuitry comes from an old Speak and Say…

Kanyon: Oh please…Seven now getting back up to his feet…and a side kick right to the gut of Mikey! Seven going off the ropes now…and a shoulder-block to the back of Mikey! Off the ropes, and an elbow to that back!!

David: And now Seven's focal point of attack is shown, going for the back of the World Champion. Smart move by both fighters, going for one point to fight.

Pamela: And look at Mikey just squirm on the mat in pain right now. This is kinda cool…but poor Seven…

David: HEY!

Pamela: Er, sorry.

Kanyon: Seven going off the ropes now…and a flipping legdrop onto the back of Mikey! The cover now…

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TWO

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Kickout by Mikey!

David: Seven getting ready to continue the assault onto Mikey now…this can't be good for the World Champion.

Pamela: Seven going for an Irish Whip…reversed by Mikey! Seven going into the turnbuckle chest first…and a neckbreaker by Mikey!

Kanyon: Connelly getting the advantage back for himself, and now going back to the work on the arms of Seven…look at him twist away at them!

David: Mikey has to keep up on this game-plan if he wants to get the victory in this match. Come on Mikey!

Pamela: …wow, David supporting Mikey. This is weird.

Kanyon: Mikey pulling back on the arm of Seven, into a dangerous looking submission hold with that arm. That arm is almost completely bent across the back of Seven!

Pamela: Eep…hope this doesn't accidentally break him! This could be devastating to Seven if he loses an arm.

David: Wait, Mikey letting go now…what is this all about?

Kanyon: Mikey seems to be signaling for something now…he's going for a Camel Clutch! Now Mikey working on the back and neck of Seven!

David: This kind of intelligent mat-work is what has made Mikey the EAW World Champion for now.

Pamela: Seven now powering up to his feet…and runs back first into the corner…but Mikey flips out!

Kanyon: Connelly in front of Seven…snap suplex! Holds it for a pin!

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TWO

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Kickout by Seven now!

David: Kelly shouting for Mikey to keep on the offensive now…and he's going to the corner with Seven…what could this be about?

Pamlea: Holy SHIT! Mikey with a Full Nelson Slam onto Seven off of the second rope!

Kanyon: Mikey not going for a cover though, which could be a mistake for him. He's…what is he doing now? He's grabbing the arms of Seven…pulling back…he's got them locked under his arms…and drives a knee into Seven's back!

David: Wow! Kelly must have taught him that move there. That is an incredibly painful looking submission hold…but I don't know if you're going to get someone like Seven to submit in a match.

Pamela: Look at Seven…he's trying to shoot his legs out…and he does…and the pain of that move has been taken off of him!

Kanyon: Nice classic mat wrestling there by Seven, and he needs to fight back to get an advantage back into this match. Seven getting to his feet…Mikey waiting…Condition Red…REVERSED INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!

One

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TWO

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Michael BARELY kicks out.

Pamela: VERY close call right there! The match would have been over right now if Seven wasn't as tough as he was.

David: I think that Mikey is going to make sure that this match IS over very shortly. He's getting to his feet now, and gets right over to Seven!

Kanyon: Seven with an Irish Whip though, and that sends Mikey chest-first into the turnbuckle! And a HARD running spin-heel kick by Seven right into Mikey's lower back!

David: Gaaah…Mikey doesn't look so good right now. He seems to be in serious pain from that.

Pamela: Smart move by Seven…who now takes Mikey…and a nice spinebuster! Cover now..

One

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TWO

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Shoulder BARELY UP!

Kanyon: Michael Connelly is slowly weakening, and Kelly is trying to get motivation behind him now. Mikey struggling to get up to his feet now, and Seven catches him with an inverted spear! The cover!

One

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TWO

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And another kickout by Mikey!

David: Look at the fighting spirit of the EAW World Champion right there! Seven seems to be stunned, but he shouldn't be.

Pamela: Seven going off the ropes now, Mikey up to his feet, Dropkick blocked by Connelly! Seven lands hard on HIS back!

Kanyon: Mikey seems to be ready to get back into the swing of things now, going to try and get Seven into a German Suplex…

Pamela: Mikey's back gave out on him! That was a dumb move to try considering what happened to him in this match!

David: Well, even I have to admit that Kelly got the brains of the family here. Mikey is wincing hard right now…

Kanyon: Mikey turning around…caught by Seven…THE SEVEN'S END! Michael down on the mat now…the cover…

One

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TWO

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THREE!

Capetta: Here is your winner, SEVEN!

David: Damnit, I thought for sure that Mikey had that in the bag. Well, this match WAS good research for me.

Pamela: David, it was great to have you here. Good luck later.

Kanyon: Speak for yourself Pamela. Well, as Seven…wait a second…Michael getting up to his feet now…what's this about?

Pamela: Oooh…possible fistfight here. Yes, duke it out!

Mikey extends his hand to Seven…and the two shake hands.

Pamela: Damnit.

Kanyon: And a great sign of respect shown right there by the champion to Seven! But this begs the question: can Mikey beat Eighteen.

Pamela: Even better…how well, if at all, did this prepare Seven to go against David Flair?

Kanyon: David and Kelly helping Mikey out of the ring, and Seven having his moment in the sun. For Pamela Paulshock, I’m Chris Kanyon! See you next time, and watch All Hallow's Extreme, this Halloween!