Live
from the Kemper Arena in Kansas City, Missouri!RD: OH, YOU DIDN'T KNOW?! YO' ASS BETTER CALL SOMEBODAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!! IT'S ME, IT'S ME, IT'S THAT D-O-DOUBLE G! AND BY MY SIDE IS THAT SWEET PAMELA P! AND WELCOME TO EAW RIOT RULZ!!!
"Rise" suddenly cues up, signalling the arrival of the EAW's World Champion.
Pamela: And here comes the EAW World Champ! The only gal who looks good in purple 'cause that's the color she was born with! Blink!!
Blink comes out to the ring, wearing blue jean cut-offs, white high-tops, an Xavier Institute jersey, and an EAW baseball cap, the EAW World Title adorning her shoulder as she heads down to the ring, the fans cheering proudly for their champion. Climbing into the ring, she steps up onto the top turnbuckle and holds up the title, prompting more cheers.
RD: The fans no doubt love Blink! The EAW World champ may be a mutant but she has earned the respect and love of all the fans, human, mutant, furry, what have ya! Blink is where it's at!!
Blink jumps down from the top turnbuckle, and scoops up a mic, looking to the crowd with a smile, then drapes the belt over the top turnbuckle as she begins.
"Y'know, I just gotta say... being the EAW World Champ isn't the easiest job in the world, but I wouldn't want it any other way!" she says. "Every opponent I've had in the ring, I've always managed to put the title on the line... and time and again I've proven to the world that I haven't won that belt on a fluke... I've beaten the challengers that come across and I've retained the title! And I've done it for all of you out there!! All the fans! Mutants, humans, furries... ALL OF YOU! I AM YOUR CHAMPION AND AND I AM DAMN PROUD OF BEING YOUR CHAMPION!!!
The fans cheer wildly at the positive words towards them by Blink as she pauses, smiling proudly.
RD: And the fans love it! Blink is definetly the fan favorite here tonight!
Pamela: No knocking Blink's skills, she still haven't fought MAIKU! And I'm putting my money on him!
"But right now... I want to talk about a certain someone named MAIKU!" The fans boo a little as sh mentions his name. "Y'know, MAIKU... I can appreciate you helping me out when I was fighting Ryokami, even though you were saving me for yourself... I'm cool with that. And later on tonight, you'll be facing Black Widow, or one of them, just 'cause one of them drove her foot in my head... but let's go take a look at the future, Maiki! Three weeks from now! EAW All Hallow's Extreme! Because here's the deal... I'm gonna issue a challenge to ya! EAW Title on the line in the main event! And Maiki? In memoriam to Ryokami? Let's make this match a HELL'S ASYLUM MATCH!!!!"
The fans gasp and cheer at the same time at Blink's shocking
RD: WHOA!! A HELL'S ASLUM MATCH FOR THE EAW WORLD TITLE?! THAT'S WILD!!
Pamela: The most dangerous match ever conceived and Blink's willing to go head-long into it to defend the belt?! She's nuts!
"Ryokami... y'know, he may've been a psychotic madman who enjoyed inflicting pain but in a lot of ways he was just like his dad," Blink continues. "Think about it... Shaed? He learned all those martial arts and melded them together into one perfect fluid fighting style he calls Kurohijitsu... the art of the black fire. Ryokami? He took every single potentially dangerous gimmick match... the hardcore match, the barbed wire match, the ladder match, the TLC match, the Hell in a Cell, the Japanese death match, the table match... and he put all together and called the the Hell's Asylum match! Now I gotta give Ryokami credit... he knew exactly what he was doing... and I figure I'd do the nutjob credit by making this match tonight... and stopping you in your tracks, MAIKU! 'Cause the Hell's Asylum is right up my alley! I've been through hell already, back home! And when it's all said and done? Yeah, I'm gonna be hurt... I'm gonna be bloodied... but I'm also gonna be one more thing." Blink walks over to the belt and picks it up, holding it up in the air. "Victorious."
"Rise" cues up as she finishes, the fans cheering as Blink teleports away with a *BLINK!* RD: And Blink has thrown the guantlet down! Will MAIKU pick it up and accept her challenge?!!
Pamela: She's issued a... a... geez! It's a Hell's Asylum match for the EAW title!! If MAIKU accepts, it's gonna be a bloodbath! And neither opponent's gonna get up under their own power afterwards, regardless who gets the belt!
RD: We gotta take a commercial break! We'll be right back with our first match! Eighteen Vs. the Big Show! Don't you be goin' nowhere, buddy!
***
The scene switches to a playground nearby a school. Ariel is seen on the monkey bars, swinging happily in the air.
"I got you now, kitty cat!"
Ariel eeps, flipping up on top to see Sweetooth looking up at her. He smiles, cracking his knuckles.
"I'm gonna put you on ice, permanently!!" he growls, jumping up after Ariel. Ariel easily leaps up, jumping at an incredible height and landing to the ground on her feet. Turning around, she sees Sweetooth advance. Quickly she runs to a bench, where she grabs a bottle of Sprite and downs it quickly. Smiling confidently, she turns back around and draws back her fist.
"KITTY PUNCH!!!!" She leaps up and hits Sweetooth in the face.
Sweetooth shrugs it off and snatches Ariel out of the air. He smiles deviously as he starts to squeeze.
"I'm gonna enjoy this," he sneers as Ariel squirms... then lets out a terrified scream--
Back to the scene, with Sweetooth's head stuck in the ground as he kicks and struggles to get free... and zoom out to see Kane walking away, carrying a grateful Ariel as she hugs back.
"My hero..." she coos happily.
***
Back to the ring...
WELL, IT'S THE BIG SHOOWWW!!!
"Big" cues up and the Big Show, along with Donnie B makes their way to the ringside.
RD: Yo, we're back! And our first match is about to get kickstarted Let's go to the announcer, Gary Michael Cappetta!
Cappetta: This match is scheduled for one fall! Coming down the aisle and being accompanied by Donnie B! From Tampa, Florida, weighing in at 500 pounds... the BIG SHOW!!
The Show easily steps over the top rope and allows Donnie B to enter by holding the ropes open for him, then steps back, looking to the stage area as "Big" fades out...
OONNNEEE STEEEEP!!!!
"Digimortal" cues up... out comes Eighteen, wearing her blue jeans with the words "DIGIMORTAL" on one leg and the Japanese characters for "18" on the other, black buckled boots, a red Fear Factory T-shirt, fingerless gloves, and ablue denim jacket. At her side is her newly found brother.
Cappetta: His opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Seven! From the Red Ribbon Army, weighing in at 120 pounds.. the Digimortal, EIGHTEEN!!
RD: Eighteen's gotta be riding high tonight, Pamela! Finding out her brother's alive and well and finally reuniting with him and all? Also finding those two Dragon Ball deelies? Hey, she's got a lot goin' for her, but right now she's fightin' the Big Show! And don't let the size difference fool ya, folks! Eighteen's one helluva tough cookie!
Pamela: Hmm... y'know, Seven's not bad looking... ^^ And he DID say he's available... hmmmmm, maybe I should ask him out, what do you think?
RD: Hey, go for it. Nothin' stoppin' ya.
Pamela: *giggle* ^_^
Eighteen flips into the ring and glances at the Show before hopping up onto the top turnbuckle, raising her arms as the fans cheer. Seven remains at ringside, watching her sister ham it up with a soft smile... Eighteen then jumps down to the mat and looks to the Big Show, her eyes narrowing. Show's eyes narrow too as he gets ready.
RD: Ref Mike Chioda calls for the bell.. let's GEDDITON!!
RD: And here we go! Man, Show just TOWERS over Eighteen!! They lock up! And... WHOA!!
Pamela: Eighteen just throws the Show into the turnbuckle!! DAMN!!
RD: Show's shocked! Eighteen's indeed stronger than she looks, folks! And the Show just found that out first hand! He's back up... another tie-up... and it's SHOW who throws Eighteen back!! Indeniable strength from the big man!
Pamela: Yeah, but Eighteen just kippuped to her feet!
RD: Tie-up again... ARM WRENCH!!! No, Show counters with one of his own! Eighteen counters with another arm wrench! HOOK KICK TO THE JAW OF THE SHOW! Eighteen grabs Big Show and helps him up! OH!! SIDE KICK KNOCKS EIGHTEEN OFF HER FEET! But Eighteen jumps right back up! Show moves and... THROAT TOSS TO THE CORNER!!! UPPERCUT! STRAIGHT PUNCH-- EIGHTEEN CATCHES IT!!! SHOW'S IN A PINCH NOW! EIGHTEEN JUST POWERS DOWN BIG SHOW!! Wow, now THAT'S surreal-- OH! PUNCH TO THE GUT BY BIG SHOW! Set-up... PILEDRIVER!!! Cover! One! T-WHOA!! EIGHTEEN... JUST POWERED OUT!! Like the Show was a Cruiserweight! Eighteen kippups and... TAE KWON-DO KICK COMBO!!! Show's staggered! MARTIAL ARTS KICK! SHOW'S DOWN! Cover! One! Two! NO! Show powers out just like Eighteen did to him!
Pamela: Wow! This is turning into a major show of power here between two completely different powerhouses!
RD: Absolutely! Show advances!!! Eighteen side-step... OHHHH DAYAMN!!! EIGHTEEN JUST PICKED UP 500 POUNDS ONTO HER SHOULDERS!!! AND... ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP!!!!
Pamela: Way too surreal... o_o;;
RD: Eighteen now locks on a standing leg lock! Sinching in tight! Show's trying to kick Eighteen off... one... two... three times, he succeeds! Show... wow, SHOW kippups! Haven't seen that from him, lately... OH, AND A BIG BOOT FLOORS EIGHTEEN!!
Pamela: Uh, oh! Better get Maaco!™
RD: Cover! One! Two! But Eighteen kicks out! Show kcks Eighteen down... and... LOOK OUT! BODY SPLASH!!!! PIN! ONE! TWO! NO! Eighteen STILL kicks out!!
Pamela: Eighteen's not showing any quit here, Road Dogg!
RD: No ma'am, she ain't! Show picks Eighteen up... looks like.. THE OLLIE OOP!! WHOA! EIGHTEEN LANDS ON HER FEET! SUPER KICK TO THE SHOW! HE'S STAGGERED!! SHOULDER CLAW BY EIGHTEEN FORCES SHOW DOWN!! Eighteen runs to the top rope... looks like she's going to... WAIT, DONNIE B IS TRYING TO DISTRACT EIGHTEEN! AND SEVEN'S THERE TO STOP HIM! OH! EDUCATED SUPER KICK BY SEVEN TO DONNIE'S FACE! AND EIGHTEEN FLIES-- SWANTON BOMB!!!! COVER! ONE! TWO! TH--NO!! THE SHOW KICKS OUT!! Eighteen steps back... she senses victory here!! And she signals for the T.S.F.!! She picks up the Show... NO! SHOW'S GOT HER BY THE THROAT!! ... NOW EIGHTEEN'S GOT SHOW BY THE THROAT!! WHAT'RE WE GONNA SEE HERE?! THE T.S.F., OR THE SHOW STOPPER!!! Awouch! Eighteen kicks Show in the sweet spot! And that gives her the moment-- T.S.F.!!! ALL FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS OF SHOW JUST GOT HEFT UP BY 120 POUNDS OF EIGHTEEN!!! COVER! ONE! TWO! THR-- Wha--?! Eighten just got off of him...!!
Pamela: ... She don't look too well all of a sudden...
RD: WHOA!!! SHE JUST ROCKETED OUTTA THE RING AND BACK TO THE BACKSTAGE!!! HOW... WHY--?!
Pamela: Seven's running after her! Awwww! Eighteen's making the cutie run away!! ;_;
RD: And Donnie B... he may be dazed but he knows an oportunity when he see it! He's goading Chioda to count! Big Show's just now beginning to get up, too!!
1
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
3
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
4
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
5
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
RD: Eightee's not show up at all!! We don't know why she just left all
of a sudden... but if she don't get back to the ring, she's gonna get
counted out!
6
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
7
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
8
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
9
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
10!!
RD: CHIODA CALLS FOR THE BELL!!! BIG SHOW'S VICTORIOUS!!!
Winner by countout: The Big Show
RD: Kind of a cheap victory here... we still don't know why Eighteen left the ring like she did!
Pamela: Hey, a victory's a victory, Road Dogg! The Big Show just beat the Big Show! He's a winner!
RD: He don't look much like a winner at the moment, but it will go down in the record books as a "Double-U" for the Show... hey, we just got a camera back there... let's go to... the women's restroom?!
Scene switch to the door to the women's restroom... Seven's there, waiting for Eighteen to emerge... she does exit, wiping her mouth and looking a little angry.
"... Eighteen, you okay?" asks Seven.
"... I'm fine, I..." she sighs. "... I just felt... sick, that's all. Let's get back to the ring before--"
"Too late..." Seven says softly. "You got counted out."
"..." Eighteen sighs. "... Damn. Oh, well... c'mon, I'll introduce you to Blink and Mashteh."
Eighteen smiles as she leads Seven down the hallway.
Pamela: Well, she certainly took the loss well.
RD: Hey, she found her bro! She can afford to be happy... but how come she got sick all of a sudden?! Well... when we come back from our break, we'll have our next match! Don't you dare change the channel, biyatch!
***



Live from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan!
October
31st, 2001, Halloween, ONLY on Pay-Per-View!!
***
Pamela: It's time for the Cruiserweight Title match...
Pamela is cut off as "HT" by Tsuneo Imahori hits leading to the arrival of Colley-chan. The crowd pops for the alternate Colley Dogstar, as she rushes to the ring, looking ready for what awaits her.
She doesn't have to wait long as "Wish" by Nine Inch Nails cues up, as the EAW Cruiserweight Champion, Lady Jasmine, steps on the ramp.. and rushes to the ring, signaling for the match to begin.
*ding, ding, ding*
Pamela: This match is off, and Colley-chan with a clothesline to Jasmine. Jasmine up, and Colley takes her down with a dropkick. Jasmine takes down Colley-chan is a leg sweep, though! And, Jasmine places an elbow right into the chest of Colley-chan.
Road Dogg: Just what I like to see... two hot sweaty women going at it!
Pamela: Pig. Anyhow, Jasmine sends Colley-chan to the ropes,! Jasmine uses her momentum to toss Colley in the air... she's flying... but Colley-chan somehow hits a dropkick to the chin of Jasmine! Jasmine gets to her feet, and Colley-chan catches her with a swinging neckbreaker! Legdrop on Jasmine's throat! Colley-chan picks Jasmine up by her hair... kick to the midsection--blocked into a Dragon Leg Screw! Jasmine now hooks Colley-chan up... DDT DROP!! The pin!
.
.
.
.
One!
.
.
.
.
Two!
.
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Pamela: Colley-chan kicks out, and Jasmine now takes her to the corner.. MEETING OF MINDS--WAIT! Colley-chan ducks, and Jasmine just smacked her hand on the turnbuckle! Colley-chan jumps to the second rope.. and a SUNSET FLIP!
.
.
.
.
One!
.
.
.
.
Two!
.
.
.
.
Jasmine gets a shoulder up!
Pamela: Jasmine is met with a kick to the breadbasket.. and EVENFLOW DDT TO JASMINE!
.
.
.
.
One!
.
.
.
.
Two!
.
.
.
.
Jasmine gets her foot on the rope!
Pamela: Jasmine is leaning on the ropes for support.. Colley-chan is rushing towards her, but Jasmine backdrops her to the outside! Now, Jasmine on the ropes... and a elbow drop to the outside on Colley-chan!
Dogg: Colley-chan can't get pinned on the outside--but--DAMNIT!! ALL THIS SECURITY AND THEY CAN'T KEEP TWO BITCHES OUT?!?!
The girls dubbed "Red" and "Blue" jump the railing, this time with...
Pamela: CATTLE PRODS!!! They've got cattle prods!!
Dogg: "Red" stomping down Colley-chan..."Blue" pulling up Jasmine--but Jasmine shoves her against the railing--but "Red" with that cattle prod on Jasmine!! Jasmine stunned--SMASH HAMMER from the two....and now getting ready to go to work on Colley-chan...
*ding, ding, ding*
Pamela: Yeesh..this is just...INSANE?!?!
Just then, a ki blast nails "Red" in the back! Her back arches and she doubles over in pain...
Pamela/Dogg: NINJA X?!
X jumps off from the rafters and...
Dogg: X nails "Blue" with a karate kick to the face!! The two back up...and...
Pamela: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
A bright flash later, and both girls lay unconscious....
Pamela: Wha-wha-what was THAT?!
Dogg: I THINK that was..the X-Demon?!
**Commercial Break**
The two girls are revived as X now as a mic in hand...
"Are you guys alright? I didn't want to resort to using my A3 powers on you, but when I saw you two were about to do you're little clichéd 'Run in, beat 'em both, and cause a No Contest' routine. After all, we all know what you attempted to do last week. I just couldn't let that happen again. I didn't mean to hurt you that much. Especially with the X-Demon. You know, sometimes I really don't know how dangerous it really is until the end.
The two girls watches on in confusion as X continues "What're your names? Frosti and Savvy from the XPW, right? XPW, that sounds familiar. I feel your pain, you know I'd be pissed to if I got screwed over in XPW-and I don't mean as in sex either."
Frosti and Savvy seethes at the XPW reference.
"I mean, Rob Black of all people treats you like you're not good enough talent while his organization is funded by porn money? That guy probably fired you because he probably copped a feel to ya and then Lizzy Borden got jealous and requested that you were fired imediately! What do you expect from a porn-based company, anyway?"
"But still, just because you're angry, doesn't mean that you have the right to do what you did to those women like you did as of late. Like trying to make a bonfire out of the zoots. That was really smooth of you girls, wasn't it. And most of all, injuring my girlfriend, Jenna. That, I'm really steaming over, cause you see girls, this crap's getting old. I mean Ryokami attacked her, just because of a few jokes about him 'Glowing in the dark.' I guess it's wasn't a good time to tell him about the profit we're making on his glow-in-the-dark action figures."
The two girls snickers about the reference.
"Ah, I got you to smile, eh. But seriously, Ryokami started this whole thing, then Alan Irving got the idea that jumping Jenna was a cool thing to do. And now you two! I mean, what possed you to do this? Did Black really hurt you that much?"
The two now get a betrayed look on their face as they seem to be crying?
"Don't worry. Yeah, I hate him, too. We all do. But I'll let you off this time, but if you ever, EVER lay you hands on Jenna again, except for a regular match. You thought what you've felt was something to worry about. Keep in mind that it was only a free sample."
X drops the mic as his new theme music, "Down Poison" by 3 Door Down, hits. Frosti and Savvy then grab the cattle prods and tries to shock X's groin area, but...
"Not this time..."
X gives them a more lethal version of the X Demon as the two lie motionless on the ground. "Down Poison" cues up again.
**Commercial Break**
[Ready in 5... 4... 3...]
Dogg: Alright... before the Dogg even gets started... I think Oseiko's gone hell and is playin' everyone for suckers. But that's just me.
Pamela: Well, we've seen nothing but... very nasty things from Oseiko in the past few weeks. she claims to not have done them, but all the evidence is still pointing a few fingers in her direction. As far as what I think... well, it doesn't matter what I think, to steal a catchphrase, because we'll see the truth eventually.
Dogg: I'm just gonna wait and see ol' Widow go all-out heel on us... that'd be a hoot!
Cut to... backstage, showing Oseiko stepping out of her dressing room, pausing, then walking purposefully off and out of the camera's line of sight.
Pamela: And there she just went... she looks determined, in full gear and everything... maybe she is telling the truth... I'm not sure...
... and she comes back after a few moments to check the door for some reason. She looks around... then runs offscreen again. Soon, the sound of a reverse beeper from a heavy vehicle sounds... and Oseiko *BACKS* a forklift in front of the door, hops out and runs off again!
Dogg: ... the hell did she do that for?
The door starts to thump loudly, followed by cries for help from... Oseiko?!
Pamela: ... oh my! I think there IS an imposter after all, and she's just locked Oseiko into her dressing room! This is... this is unspeakably wrong!
Dogg: Damn... and I was hopin' for a heel turn...
"Shadow Explosion" fires up... and MAIKU walks slowly to ringside to... a huge face pop?! He's clad in all black (even facepaint-- albeit with red symbols. The look on his face is a mixture of arrogance... and total psychosis.
MAIKU: ... Heh. Oseiko, Oseiko, Oseiko. You are such a dirty liar... I will expose the truth to the fans, but first, I feel it is time that I finally teach you never to touch my dearest Blink...
Pamela: I'm sorry, but this guy scares me. In a very, very bad way.
Dogg: No friggin' kidding!
MAIKU walks up to the commentary table, staring Pamela and Roadie down
MAIKU: ...What was that you said!?!? WHAT!?!? Don't you dare talk back at me!! You heard me!! Don't push me! I swear I will hurt you both so badly, your visage won't be so appealing to those idiots, that don't see the incredible beauty of my Blink... Maybe then, they will appreciate her... and me... Hehehe...
He turns back to the ring.
MAIKU: at the top of his lungs...OSEIKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! KAKUGO!!!
He drops the mic, and enters the ring, taking a martial arts pose.
MAIKU: No pulling punches, now, Oseiko... You'll see why I'm so dangerous... Heh heh heh... A-HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I WILL STAIN THE MAT WITH YOUR BLOOD!!
Pamela: I... don't think he saw the bit with the imposter locking Oseiko into her dressing room!
Dogg: I doubt he'll care!
"Shadow Explosion" segues into "Strobe's Nanafushi"... and...
Pamela: And there's "Strobe's Nanafushi"... and here comes that damned imposter! Man, I can barely talk over the sheer amount of boos she's getting from the crowd... and this... this HACK has the nerve to act confused!
Dogg: She's still in there, though... and into the ring. Hell, they're throwing stuff into the ring at her... wow, if they don't tighten up security, we may have a lynching on our hands... OH MAN! MAIKU just JUMPED the imposter with a knee dropkick! It's on like neckbones, baby!
Pamela: Thank YOU, Stevie Ray.
Dogg: ... hey!
Pamela: MAIKU driving forearms into the imposter's back... and an especially hard one puts her down! MAIKU going for a stomp, but denied as the fake rolls away and goes for a Kumo no Sas--countered into a standing anklelock! MAIKU wrenching it in... then dropping a HARD elbow down onto the fake's ankle! He's trying to break something!
Dogg: I know! Let's call that wannabe Ofakeo!
Pamela: ... that might wo--MAIKU working more on Ofakeo's ankle, grinding the elbow in... but gets a kick in the face for his trouble! Ofakeo's up shakily... and they both tie-up... armdrag takedown from Ofakeo puts MAIKU onto his back, but he rolls with it... rushing in! Ofakeo going for a kick, but MAIKU wraps around her... schoolboy!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
Kickout! But MAIKU's all over her now! Mounted punches to the face... now forearms... and GREEN MIST right into her eyes! Now he's WRENCHING in a single leglock! He's giggling like a madman!
Dogg: Da-hayam! Watch her kick and shout! Whatever's in that stuff has to hurt, not to mention her leg!
Pamela: MAIKU finally letting go and backing off and letting Ofakeo stand... she looks blinded, but goes for a kick anyway... MAIKU dodges it and hits a BIG german suplex! Bridging over... no, wait... he's got Ofakeo by her legs... OH MAN! MAIKU's... he's *SPANKING* the imposter! What the hell is wrong with him?! The fake's screaming like she's been shot!
Dogg: I dunno, but it's getting him a huge pop and me wood. If only Lilith were here...
Pamela: She'd *kill* to be here right now... and Ofakeo finally kicks away and stumbles back, clutching her rear end... MAIKU looks like a man possessed... stalking towards Ofakeo... and they go for another tie-u--SLIPPED by Maiku and he SWATS her again! Ow, you could HEAR the impact from here!
Dogg: Poor little freak's gonna have one really bruised bottom come tomorrow!
Pamela: MAIKU's laughing at Ofakeo now... it looks like the entire arena is, too... and she looks... upset? Angry? Hard to tell... tie-up! Ofakeo battling for control of the tie-up... and gets it, hitting a standing dropkick RIGHT into MAIKU's chest... and landing on her feet!
Dogg: At least she's as *agile* as the real thing...
Pamela: Ofakeo not wasting time... standing moonsault HITS... and now she trying to roll MAIKU over... GOING FOR THE KUMO NO AMIMONO... but MAIKU shoots a kick to the side of her head and---leglock cradle! MAIKU going for the win!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TW-Ofakeo gets away, but MAIKU grabs her by her outfit--BIG lariat to the back of the head puts her down! He's pulling her up by her hair... screaming into her ear! Ofakeo goes for a back elbow--MISSED! SUPER NOVA RIGHT ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE! Ofakeo crumples off and onto the matt... she looks DONE!
Dogg: But MAIKU ain't! He doesn't wanna beat her... he wants to teach her a lesson, whether or not she's the real thing!
Pamela: MAIKU yanking Ofakeo to her feet... ANOTHER SUPER NOVA! He kippups to his feet and snatches her up again... ANOTHER SUPER NOVA ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE! The imposter just *HAS* to be dead now! MAIKU signalling... I think he's gonna go for the Wakamoto Special!
Dogg: Say goodbye to your career, Ofakeo! Goodbye, career!
Pamela: MAIKU lifts Ofakeo onto his shoulder... going for the drop--OFAKEO FLIPS OUT OF IT--AND ANSWERS WITH A KUMO NO SASU! MAIKU's head snapped back like a speed punching bag after that kick! But they're both down, and I'm not sure which one's gonna get up... the ref's counting... and MAIKU's up at seven! He looks groggy, though... but he still goes to pin Ofakeo!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TW---Again, she kicks out! And MAIKU looks supremely cheesed-off! He's yanking her up again... laying in the chops to her chest! Backing her into a corner... ONE HARD CHOP slams her into the corner! Flipping back and going for the Space Flying Elbo--DUCKED! Ofakeo rushes MAIKU... PHEONIX DROPKICK! ON her feet again... and she leaps up--KUMORANAS MAIKU RIGHT ON HIS HEAD! Every one of her moves have been out of Oseiko's playbook! Maybe she's mocking her somehow!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO!
.
MAIKU tosses Ofakeo off of him, just barely! She's quick to back off... and tear back in! Kicks to MAIKU... and an STIFF enzuigiri to finish! She's up on top of the turnbuckle... going for a MOONSAUL--MY GOD! MAIKU just mule-kicked Ofakeo right in the stomach! She's gasping for breath... and MAIKU's on his feet! He laughs... and gives her rear ANOTHER swat before---putting her in her own--or rather, Oseiko's--finisher! Ofakeo screaming for her life and reaching for the ropes... but MAIKU pulls her away! She can't take this forever... but, then again, she deserves it!
Dogg: Damn right she does. Spoiling my dreams of Oseiko going heel... damn...
Suddenly, the Titan-tron shows the blocked door to Oseiko's dressing room being unblocked... and a very pissed-off Black Widow storms out of it and RUNS off-camera!
Pamela: ... and here comes the real deal! MAIKU just saw what we saw, and he's let Ofakeo go... he looks so confused it's not even funny! >{?"Strobe's Nanafushi" cues up again, and Black Widow tears down the ramp and immediately grabs the downed 'Oseiko'...
Pamela: Oseiko's got Ofakeo and is telling her off... and HITS HER WITH A DEAD-ON Kumo No Sasu! MY GOD, she almost flipped her imposter over completely with that one! Oseiko's got her up again... HUGE POP from the crowd... and BAKUMO NO AMIMONO! SHE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN! And the imposter's... she's tapping! She's tapping out like she's about to snap in half... and Oseiko FINALLY lets her go... and she's stepping aside for MAIKU to have his way... and MAIKU's having his WAY! ULTRA NOVA ON THE IMPOSTER! And she's out COLD!
Dogg: Well, she got what she had coming to her!
Finally, the ref just rings the bell...
Winner: No Contest
Pamela: MAIKU's screaming at the fake, even though she's on Dream Street... and he finally just kicks her a few times and walks over to Oseiko, who's... offering MAIKU her hand? Maybe she wants to set things right after all...
Dogg: I dunno... something's fishy about all this...
Pamela: MAIKU looking hesitant... but he shakes Oseiko's hand! And the crowd ROARS in approval! The mask is off... oh yeah, that's Oseiko, alright! And now... she's bowing before MAIKU?
Dogg: She is Japanese, and he is... kinda-sorta Japanese, so it's only right and honorable and stuff.
Pamela: Right... MAIKU bowing, then straightenin--WHAT THE?! Oseiko just spewed RED MIST right into MAIKU's eyes! And she hops onto his shoulders... IT'S THAT MOUNTED FACEBUSTER FROM KAIRI'S MATCH! SHE PLANTS MAIKU WITH IT! But... b-but... I don't get it!!!
Oseiko walks over to the 'imposter', then rips her mask off, revealing... Oseiko.
Dogg: ... hot shit, there IS two of 'em!
Pamela: But... but... this means that...
The 'standing' Oseiko motions for a mike and gets it, then puts it to her lips.
Oseiko: Boku wa kawaii...
Pamela: ... OH MY GOD! Oseiko's... THAT'S NOT OSEIKO! SHE JUST RIPPED OFF HER FACE... IT'S A MASK! ONE HELL OF A FULL LATEX MASK AND SOME ELECTRONIC STRIP ACROSS HER THROAT!
The girl rips off the strip, then pops out her contacts, revealing pure white eyes.
Girl: ... ne? The game's only just begun, Oseiko. See you in my parlor, little fly.
She spits a bit of red onto Oseiko's face, then runs off and under the ring, just as security pours into the ring, trying to catch her.
Pamela: ... I... I don't believe it... we've all been tricked!
Dogg: Well duh! Even I can see that!
Pamela: We'll be back after these commercial messages... hopefully this mess'll get straightened out...
[Commercial Break...]
A Moments Ago bit shows the 'fake' Oseiko rushing to ringside, destroying Oseiko, then MAIKU before revealing herself and rolling under the ring.
Pamela: Moments Ago on Riot Rulz, the imposter revealed herself to the world... and tricked everyone here in the process. As far as Oseiko's condition, she's rather dazed, but will be alright, as will MAIKU... but the girl couldn't be found after the match until we got this...
Cut to a motorcycle with a familiar imposter on it, busy ripping off the widow tattoo from her topless back. As soon as she finishes tearing the latex off, she reaches in front of her and slips on a jacket with "ARANA" on the back surrounded in spiderwebs. She then looks back....
Arana: Like I said... the game's only begun. See you all again, later. Especially your, Widow. I want a piece of you at All Hallow's Eve... right now I have a few things to do... oh, and Triple H? I don't really dig the taste of plaque, cuntsweat and femcum when I kiss someone, so do something about that, okay? Cool. Be seeing you.
She grins, then peels out of the arena, just as a few security guards reach the spot...
Pamela: ... as if we didn't have enough problems. Dogg: It only gets crazier and crazier...
Pamela: ... but it can only get more insane... HUGE triple-tier tag war for the titles! NEXT!
**Commercial Break**
"Smooth Criminal" by Alien Ant Farm cues up as we come back from break...
Dogg: Welcome everyone, back to the Doooooooooooooogg House!! It's me, the Road Dogg Jesse James!!
Pamela: Along with me, Pamela Paulshock!! And we have a special guest here for this match, commentating...
Cut to the announce desk, where Donnie B is seated with a headset on.
Donnie: Thank you, Pam--it's me, Donnie B!! The manager of GENERATION NEXT!!
Pamela: Soon to be THE dominant force of all EAW, isn't that right, Donnie?
Donnie: Correct you are, Pamela.
Dogg: And as they say--the most disfunctional stable in all of wrestling.
Donnie: Well...sometimes--but the chemistry is there!
Dogg: Like sodium and water, I guess...
"The following match up--tonight's MAIN EVENT...is a Triple Tier Cage Match for the EAW Tag Team Championships!!! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 461 lbs...they are 2/3 of the Triple Ex Theatre....'Excellence' Dave Star...'The Extreme One' Tommy Zen--the Experimentals!!"
Dogg: So, what brings you out here--as if I have to ask?
Donnie: Simple...to witness the bWo LOSE the tag team titles here tonight...all according to my brilliant plan.
Pamela: You ARE the man, Donnie...but what about your brother Nova, who's been a part of the bWo before?
Donnie: Bah...my brother knows his place. Superpowers or no--in that ring, he knows who's dominant!
Dogg: What about Show's performance earlier?
Donnie: What about it? He won!!
Dogg: Barely...and by count out.
Donnie: So? Show pounded Eighteen's lunch out of her...that's a victory as far as I'm concerned!! Yet, I'm sad to report that Show won't be around for a while, now...he's going to be send down to the farm leagues to trim down a bit...
Pamela: Good idea...when he comes back, he'll be better than ever!!
Dogg: Pffft...HIM?! LOSE WEIGHT?! That guy cheats on his diets like Clinton cheats on his wife...and HIS diets!
As the Experimentals get in the ring, "Smooth Criminal" fades out, and "DNR" by Testament cues up...
"And now, another challenging team...at a combined weight of 555 lbs....Spike and Morty--S-&-M!"
Dogg: So, who are you rooting for in this match? S&M?
Donnie: S&M or the Experimentals would make fine tag champions...shame that Kirk and David couldn't be in this, too...I just want those titles OFF the bWo--but I don't really want Mikey or Lance as champs, either. *groan*...saying I'm dumber than Nova. Please...we all know who got the brains in the Bucci family.
Spike and Morty take their place in the ring--and immediately start attacking the Experimentals!!
Dogg: Well, I'll be damned...they aren't going to wait for the bell here, even...
Pamela: Of course not....S&M are angry about the Experimentals taking their tag titles--which lead to the bWo getting their tag titles...
Donnie: Yeah...but that's not a BAD thing...that's a GOOD thing...because whoever wins this will just get their asses beat by a combination of Generation NEXT and get the tag titles BACK....
Pamela: Way cool!
"There's a Fire in the House" by Stevie Vai cues up...Michael Connelly steps out onto the stage to cheers...then it fades out as "Oh Canada" cues up, and Lance Storm walks out just behind...
"The final challengers...at a combined weight of 467 lbs...'Code Red' Michael Connelly, and Laaaaaaaaaance Stoooooooorm!!"
Donnie: Ugh...what ARE they doing in this match, anyway?! David and Kirk I could see..but THESE'D make worse champions than the bWo!!
Pamela: That's true...and it's ALSO true about Stevie leeching of Meanie's heat!
Dogg: You two love to shovel it...I guess since their are two teams you like they'd be double the asskissers out here.
Michael and Lance get inside the ring, avoiding the scuffle, until Dave Star is able to hit a piledriver on Morty, then he and Zen nail a double backdrop on Spike...then the Experimentals pair off against them...
Finally, the "blue-blue-blue World order!" theme cues up...
Donnie: BOOO!!! BOOOOO!!! Come on you idiots!! BOOOOO!!
Dogg: Donnie B unsuccessfully trying to rally the fans AGAINST the Blue World Order.
Pamela: Well, I'm torn between the Experimentals and S&M...but this will be quite the match whichever of them wins.
Dogg: "Whichever of them wins??!"
Pamela: Is there an echo in here?
Dogg: Maybe in the big empty space you call your head.
"And, the defending tag team champions...at a combined weight of 472 lbs...Blue Meanie and Stevie Richards--the Blue World Order!!"
Dogg: And the champions about to hit the ring!!
Donnie: And be hit by three hungry tag teams!!
*ding, ding*
With the bWo hitting the ring, the cages are lowered on top of the ring, and a huge 8-man brawl erupts, with the Experimentals attacking the bWo, Spike on Lance Storm, and Morty on Connelly. Meanie fights off Tommy Zen, and sends him to the ropes, where Connelly hits a spear on him, after stunning Morty. Morty goes after Meanie, and tosses him around with a few arm drags, before powerbombing him down in the ring. Dave Star back drops Richards, then pulls him up, hoists him overhead, and rams him into the side of the cage.
Connelly goes to tackle Spike, but is thrown into the corner, and nails with right hands...Star boosts Zen up to high splash him into the corner, but Meanie rushes from behind to hit a neckbreaker on Spike. Morty and Richards get involved in a brawl, with Morty taking control, sending Richards to the ropes, and hitting a tilt a whirl backbreaker.
Morty goes to climb up to the second cage with the ladder hooked up on the opening to the next cage, but Richards and Connelly grab the ladder, pulling it out from under him, and Morty takes a spill to the floor. Storm pulls up Morty, and lays in a beating on him, while Spike is double teamed in the corner by the Experimentals...Connelly and Richards set up the ladder again, and begin to climb up to the second cage, Connelly first, Richards just behind....
Spike fights his way up, taking up Zen for a chokeslam, and slamming him down, causing him to bounce off the mat...Star and Spike get into a brawl, but Morty gets up and joins Spike, and aids him in a modified "High Times" on Star!!
Storm and Meanie battle each other on the ladder as Connelly and Richards--in the second tier--fight to reach up for the third. Storm goes to Russian Leg Sweep Meanie from the ladder, but Meanie is able to shove him off the ladder--then hits a Moonsault from the ladder on top of him!!
S&M continue to assault the Experimentals, as they implement a DNR on Tommy Zen!!
Richards is taking apart Connelly in the second tier, while Meanie gets up off of Storm and heads up the ladder to the second tier, joining Richards in attacking Connelly...
Morty then races up the ladder, with Spike closely behind boosting him up....Storm gets up dazed by still strong, and begins to crawl up towards the ladder after--but Spike stomps on his hand and gives him a back heel kick to the jaw, knocking him off.
S&M scrambled up the ladder to the second tier as Dave Star begins to make a comeback, and gets up in time to face off against a recovering Lance Storm. The two begin to square off in a slugfest, but Star begins to take control, and launches Storm to the ropes--catching him in a quick brainbuster as he returns!! He then pulls him up to his feet, and lays him out parallel to the turnbuckle, and goes up top...
Star goes off the top with frog splash on Storm!! CONNECTS!! He then pulls him up and sends him towards the ropes--Storm catches him with a dropkick!! Star gets up again--kick--caught!! Dragon Screw by Storm!! INTO THE MAPLELEAF!! Storm locks on that submission hold and cranks back on it...subduing Star!!
Storm lets go and scrambles up the ladder, but finds an angry Spike at the top...he and Meanie go the work on him while Connelly and Richards do as best they can on Spike....Spike is able to hit a Yakuza Kick on Connelly after tossing him into the wall, then begins to take over on Richards....doubles him over--and..NO!! He sets him up over the hole in the cages--a RELEASE IRON MAIDEN!!! STEVIE RICHARDS FALLS FROM THE SECOND CAGE ONTO TOMMY ZEN!!
Dogg: OMIGOD!!! DID YOU SEE THAT?!!
Donnie: Hehehehhehe....THAT'S how you do it, Spike....too bad they aren't too interested in Generation NEXT...they'd make a valuable addition...
Pamela: Wait...Spike reaching into his tights..
Dogg: NOT IN PUBLIC DUMBASS!! Don't tell me Spike's gonna shine his fireman's helmet right out here?!
Donnie: Wait...NO!! It's a chain!!
Dogg: Morty has one two!! Spike hits Connelly with that chain as he gets up...Storm blasted with it by Morty!! Spike mounts Meanie and hammers away with it!!
Donnie: LOOK!! Morty's closing that trap door, and...HE'S GOT A PADLOCK TOO!! He's wrapping the chain around it and PADLOCKING IT SHUT!!
Dogg: Morty taking over on Meanie for Spike...and Spike going to that CAGE door now--and MORE of the same!! Locking it shut...S&M want to see to it they'll be leaving the tag champs!!
Donnie: But of course...
S&M begins to concentrate on Meanie, but Connelly and Storm gets up, and attack from behind...Connelly German Suplexes Morty, and Storm surprises Spike with a pair of dropkicks!!
Donnie: The Experimentals are out!! The Experimentals are out!!
Dogg: The hell?! Well, I'll be damned--using Richards as a battering ram, they've managed to bust out the bottom side of the cage, but is it too late for them to get the tag titles now?!
Pamela: Well, I think they still can...but they have to hurry!! Meanie's about to grab those titles!!
Dogg: But Storm yanks off Meanie by his ankle!! Excellent save there!! But the Experimentals scaling that cage now...
The Experimentals climb up the first cage as a brawl between Storm and Meanie has Meanie teetering off the ladder, and Spike comes up from behind him to set him up--and hits the Suffering's End on him!!
Connelly tosses Morty over with the T-Bone Suplex, causing that portion of the cage to bow downward--and look ready to give!!
But it holds in place, but Morty is dazed. Michael charges for Spike, but is caught and held up by the throat!!
After an Albert-Bomb, Spike puts down all his weight across the throat of Connelly--but Storm nails him between the shoulderblades!! And in the back of the head!!
The Experimentals are on top the first cage, but are having difficulty getting the fastened second door open...Richards, however, just makes it on top, and the two Experimentals come after him!! A Stevie Kick on Star puts him down, and Tommy Zen is backdropped over..nearly rolling off the ed--!! He grabs ahold of the edge of the cage!!
Inside the second the cage, Storm and Connelly back Spike towards the cage wall...Meanie shakes off the Suffering's End, and charges right for the three--nailing a high dropkick to Spike, and knocking him back against the wall--Stevie nails a STEVIEKICK in the back of Spike's head, putting him down...for the moment...
Dogg: Connelly and the Blue Meanie up into the third tier...the could be it!! The tag titles are within both their grasps...and we're just inches away from seeing this match come to a conclusion!!
Donnie: Either way, I don't like it...but you probably are right...Connelly and Meanie scaling opposite sides of that ladder...
Pamela: Meanie making a grab for it--rights from Connelly now stopping that....Meanie tipping backwards!! The whole ladder could go with it!!
Dogg: NO!! Meanie regains his balance...Connelly standing up--Meanie with a shot to the gut...and it's utter insanity on the lower level--STEVIE breaks into the second tier, and Storm and Richards now going to work on S&M!!
Donnie: DAMNIT!! Spike!! Morty!! Get up and get that belt!!
Pamela: Meanie nearly has it...Meanie nearly has it--CONNELLY TACKLES MEANIE!! MEANIE ABOUT TO FALL OFF THE LADDER!!
Dogg: Connelly reaching up--CONNELLY GRABS THE TAG TITLES!!
*ding, ding*!!
"The winners of this match...and NEEEEEEEEEEEEW EAW Tag Team Champions--'Code Red' Michael Connelly and Lance Storm!!!"
Dogg: The real dark horses of this match...yet they pulled off the victory here.
Donnie: *sob* DAMNIT NO!! ANYONE ELSE BUT THEM AND THE BWO!!
Pamela: Yeah....two other VERY worthy teams get screwed again!! What kind of match is this for the TAG TEAM TITLES anyway?!
Donnie: Uh...this was *MY* suggestion.
Pamela: Oh...yeah...sorry...
Dogg: Connelly touches down, and Meanie with a handshake to Connelly--but down below, they don't seem to realize the match is over...
Pamela: ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE!! MAHGAWD!!!
Donnie: Well, when in circumstances like this, S&M's normally-cool heads have got gone nuclear...
Dogg: Well, it may take an army to break up this fight, but the match *IS* over...and we have BRAND NEW TAG CHAMPS!!
Donnie/Pamela: ....Don't remind us...
Dogg: Well, thanks for being with us...and we'll see you NEXT TIME!! GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!!