Live from the Spokane Arena in Spokane, Washington, its EAW Friday Night Riot Rulz!!
Your hosts are Megan Eko and Lilith Aensland
Your hosts are Megan Eko and Lilith Aensland
A pair of spotlights grace the entryway, but no theme starts up-- apparently, the person doing this is theme-less.
Megan: Welcome to Riot Rulz, fans...but...what's the meaning of this...?
Lilith: Beats me...don't tell me they brought the WARRIOR back!
Stevie Richards steps out into the spotlight and walks towards the ring, with a forceful stride in his step. He carries in one hand a microphone.
Megan: It's...Stevie Richards...we heard about this earlier. Stevie hear to make a plea to his friend, to try to get him back out here. RTC Man/Nova has been missing, with only sporadic appearances, and since being unmasked, it's been apparent that he isn't right in his mind.
Lilith: Well...thankfully STEVIE's right again. We found out that the whole RTC kick was due to him being TRAUMATIZED by Mae Young's sharpe puppies...*shudder*
Megan: An event that will scar the minds and eyeballs of everyone who say it...but he's recently been back to his old self.
He jumps up onto the apron, and enters the ring through the ropes. The fans, as before, aren't sure how to react to Richards. He looks around the crowd, acknowledging those who are cheering for him before bringing the mic up to speak.
Megan: We know basically what he has to say..but will it work?
RICHARDS: Uh, thanks for the warm reception... I guess. Yeah, I know that you all know why I'm out here, so let's get to the point here. Hey, RTC Man/Nova/RTC Nova/Nova Man, if you're here or watching this somewhere, I'm calling you out. I want to talk to you-- have a heart to heart and stuff. You've been following that Ryokami guy around, but I can't think of anything indecent or whatever that he has done. So, what's up with that? Is there a little bit of the old Nova in that silly suit, or are you just in need of a fight? If it's choice number B, then why are you trying to fight him, and not someone who dresses in "provocative" clothes and has big boobs and is, you know, proud of the way she or he looks? Come on, Nova-- you're still there, somewhere, in that torn-up suit, right? If you are, or even if you aren't, please, come down here and let us all know you're not just some zombie...
Then...out from the back, with no musical accompanyment..comes the missing RTC Man suit-encased Nova!!
Megan: Here is...I believe it's him..yes! Could it be he remembers about...
Lilith: DAMN IT!! NOT HIM AGAIN!!
Megan: Ryokami getting in the ring now...RTC Man quickening his pace....diving into the ring now...and THEY COLLIDE NOW!!...and plans for a peaceful reunion have quickly fell through here...as Ryokami making an unexpected appearance....
Lilith: BUY A TICKET! GET A PASS!! SOMETHING other than doing this all the time!
Megan: Kick right into the groin...and...NOVACAINE!! RTC Ma--or...I DON'T KNOW just what to call him..but starting for Stevie...but Ryokami up!! Grabs him from behind...SPINWHIRL FACEBUSTER!!!...And Ryokami dragging him by his head out of the ring...and Stevie just standing there shocked...and I don't blame him...NOVA fighting out of his grasp...the fight is back on a again...and Nova jumping against the ringpost--DIVES OFF and hits him with a kick across the side of the head...Ryokami getting up now...but Nova flying away...
Lilith: Leave it to Ryokami to spoil a reunion...
Megan: Well...up next, we're going to have the very first crosspromotional EAW/PWF match up, with the EAW's Jenna vs. the PWF's Crush Nakano.
Lilith: Jenna's sweet and sassy..and...well...Crush probably never saw a twinkie she didn't like.
"Sin" by Nine Inch Nails cues up...
Megan: True...Jenna's the trimmer,more attractive choice in this match, but that doesn't mean she's just set to be squashed by Crush.
Lilith: Crushed by Crush. Duh.
Megan: That, too..
Jenna makes her way out to a huge pop, before rushing to and diving inside the ring.
"D-A-G-U-N" by FMW Promotions then plays....
Megan: And now...history to be made tonight, as the first PWF EVER will wrestle on an EAW show...the opponent is Crush Nakano...a big, burly, blubberbutted Japanese native.
Lilith: Well...in case you decide to go after LG...I don't think you'll have much competition here. I mean, she's cute in a bulbous, bloated way...but I don't think LG fancies himself a "fat chick thriller." Though he DOES have a bit of a mullet to 'em.
Megan: Well...I wouldn't want to be between her a buffet table for sure...but that doesn't mean she can't get it done in the ring...here we go now.
*ding, ding*
The two women meet in the center of the ring, where Crush shoves Jenna right on her tush. Jenna, angerly, gets up and starts to rock her with right hands, but a single right by Crush knocks her on her back. Crush tries to splash Jenna but she rolls out of the way, gets up, hits a dropkick on her, and hits the ropes to go for a flying clothesline, but is caught and slammed down hard in the center of the ring, then pinned for a one!
Jenna is pulled back up by Crush, has an elbow driven to the back of the head, and slammed face first to the mat. Crush steps in and uses a stranglehold gamma on Jenna, and Jenna fights and kicks her feet to escape. Crush turns it into a scissored armbar, and Jenna scrambles to get to the ropes, putting the toe of her boot on the bottom one.
Crush releases the hold, and pulls up Jenna...kick by Crush is caught...and Crush is about to attempt an Enzui Giri (!), but Jenna kicks out her left leg, and applies an anklelock!! She then grabs the other ankle, catapults Crush to the corner, and is about to sunset flip her but Crush grabs the top rope, then counters by dropping all her weight on Jenna's chest!!
Crush then lays in boots on her opponent, putting one across her throat. She pulls Jenna up, fires her to the ropes...goes for a lariat--Jenna ducks...hits the ropes...Jenna is scoops up...takes over Nakano with a headscissors!! Jenna then mounts her opponent and lays on some shots the the head, and gets up, hits the ropes, and nails a quick leg drop for a two count.
Crush is fired to the ropes...Jenna goes for a backbody drop, but Crush tosses her down to the mat, then hits the ropes and catches with the the lariat this time, getting a two as well.
Jenna goes up top, and springs off with a splash onto Crush, but Crush rolls over for a surprise pin, while holding the tights! Nearly gets a three!!
Jenna fights her way up and is hoisting up by Nakano...tosses into the corner, and nailed with elbows. Crush sets her up for a powerbomb--she reverses into the 69 Facebuster!! Kidman's name is mentioned as Jenna pins for the 1...2...3!!
Winner by Pinfall >>> Jenna
Megan: The first cross promotional match in the EAW goes to Jenna, as she gets the win over Crush Nakano...
Lilith: Whoa...is that...Steven?!
Megan: No...that's...PWF Intergender Champion--Alan Irving!! FROM BEHIND with that Intergender Championship belt!! And like a coward, making a run for it after laying out Jenna!
Lilith: You know...being invaded wouldn't be so bad if they would FIGHT FAIR!! Know what I mean?!
Megan: Well...none of PWF's "stars" have shown themselves to be gracious sportsmen or sportswomen...so this should come as no shock...up next...Tatum vs. Star!!
**Commercial Break**
Back from break...
Dave Star first arrives at the ring with "Resurrection is my Name" by Pantera as his theme, with Tommy Zen and Jason Knight right behind...
"Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down then plays, and "Mr. Entertainment" Kevin Tatum comes out, rushes the ring, and the bell rings as the match begins.
Slugfest to start...Tatum sends Star to the ropes...leapfrog...Star comes off the ropes with a clothesline. Pick up...scoop slam down. One count.
Pulls him up...knee to the midsection from Tatum...snap suplexes him over and floats over for a one.
Star is pulled up...Tatum goes into an armbar...Star attempts to fight his way up...makes his over to the ropes...does grab the ropes, but Jason Knight hits a low blow on him when the referee is distracted. Star then springs up to the top and hits a flying back kick on Tatum, then hooks the leg for narrow two.
Star stomps on him, driving his boot into the throat, and Zen chokes him. Star then goes for a catapult, which snaps his neck under the bottom rope. He then pulls him into the center of the ring, then hits a legdrop to the inner thigh.
Star then drives him face first to the top turnbuckle pad, and lays in a few stomps, but Tatum comes alive, reverses, and lays in some hard shots in the corner, then climbs up top and fires away with ten shots. Star staggers out of the corner, and Tatum spins him around and into a Dragon Suplex!!
One!!
TWO!!
Kickout!
Star is then set up for a tilt a whirl piledriver--falls back...positions Tatum for one...HITS IT! Cover!
One!
Two!
Kickout!
Star fires Tatum to the ropes...hits the ropes...Tatum ducks but Star INTENTIONALLY clotheslines the referee!!
Jason Knight get inside and they double team Tatum...
But Chainsaw rushes out from the crowd...chairs in hand!! Knight and Star turn around to a chairshot from each of them!! Chaynz shoves out Knight, and they hit the Con-Crotch-O on Star!! Buzzsaw wakes up the referee...and Tatum pulls himself up..hits "That's Entertainment!" and gets 1...2...3!! before we go to break!!
**Commercial Break**
Megan: We're back, folks! And up next we have match that could very well... well, we just want to stress to all the younger viewers to not watch this match in case... well, in case the favorite loses, because we may be witnesses to another death in the EAW... =/
Lilith: It's finally happened! One of the FORBIDDEN FETISHES HAS COME TO THE EAW!!! EEEEEEVVVVVIIIILLLLL!!!!!!! INDEED!!
Megan: What're you talking about?!
Lilith: Y'know! If Kane loses tonight Kael's promised to spit roast Talisia right on the ropes! You know what that is?!
Megan: ... Uhm...
Lilith: WOMAN EATING!! CANNIBALISM! YES, FOLKS, THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE TURNED ON BY THIS!! BUT THIS ISN'T A FANTASY! IF KANE LOSES, TALISIA'S GOOSE IS COOKED! LITERALLY!!!
Megan: ... Please don't tell me you're turned on by... by...
Lilith: Well, only if my sex partner's turned on by it.
Megan: ...
Lilith: Hey, I'm a succubus! Whatever turns people's crank, I do it! I can't help my nature, y'know.
Megan: ... Uhm... right.
"Demonoid Pheonomenon" suddenly cues up!
Lilith: ^.^! Ainako!!
Megan: Uh-- why, it is! And... whoa...!
Lilith: O_O! ... EEEEEE!! ^.^!
Ainako has come out to the ring in a fuku, and nothing else! She skips down the aisle and and does a spin in front of the announcers' table, letting EVERYONE see that... well, she's not wearing any underwear.
Lilith: =D~~
Megan: Eep... I didn't need to see that...
Ainako then hops up onto the table and looks to Lilith with a cute grin, raising her foot towards the transfixed succubus.
Megan: Uhm, be strong Lilith! You have a job to do here! Don't give in to her!
Lilith: ... But she's so pretty... I... oohhh... wow, I... I...
Lilith grabs a hold of Ainako's foot and licks the sole deeply, causing Megan to avert her eyes and Ainako to giggle cutely.
Lilith: I can't help it... she tastes too good... sorryMeganIgottago!!
Like a shot Lilith grabs Ainako's ankle and shoots upward into the rafters with Ainako in tow, the headset she was wearing nearly yanked from the power box.
Megan: ... -_-;; I'm just glad we're on a premium channel or else we'd be canceled by now... *sigh*
KRAK-KOOOMMM!!!!!! "Out Of The Fire" cues up as the fire explodes from the entranceway, and out comes the Big Red Machine himself, followed close behind by the lovely blonde in the black leather with flame design outfit.
Announcer Gary Michael Cappetta: This match is the Inferno Match! Coming down the ring with Christina, weighing in at 326 pounds... KANE!!
Megan: And if Lilith were here she'd probably say something regarding Christina and her breasts or her feet or something... but I'd be too embarrassed to mention anything like that, sorry.... but she's... probably ravishing Ainako up in the rafters right now and once more, I can't help but feel jealous. =/
Christina turns around and gives Kane a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek of his mask, then walks to the commentating position, taking Lilith's seat and putting the headset on.
Christina: ... Hello? Testing, one two three?
Megan: I hear you... welcome to the show, Christina! More specifically, welcome to the EAW! ^^
Christina: Oh, it's great to be here, Megan! Especially if it means being at Kane's side so I can cheer him on!
"The Altar" suddenly cues up... and out comes Maximus Kael. Following him against her will is a weary looking Talisia, wearing only her tattered green dress as she's led out to the ring in chains.
Cappetta: And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Talisia... from Amityville, Nevada, weighing in at 254 pounds... the Minister, Maximus Kael!
Megan: And these fans are extremely expressive about their feelings towards Kael! They despise him for his insane mistreatment of Talisia, who's a sweet kind soul! She's done nothing to warrant this treatment!
Christina: I hope Kane wins... I don't think I can handle what might happen if he loses, I mean... can you believe that Kael just may... cook and eat Talisia right here in the middle of the ring?! And there's nothing we can do because the No Killing rule would be lifted for him!
Megan: And Lilith says there's people actually turned on by this... *sigh* I almost am ashamed to be human, Christina.
Christina: Don't give up yet. Kane'll win. I believe in him. I know he can win. ^_^
Kael chains Talisia to the security railing and then pulls out a bottle of JR's Barbeque Sauce, waving it tauntingly at Talisia; the frightened elf girl struggles to get free, but the chains are too strong. Kael laughs, then sets the bottle on the steps as he climbs in.
Christina: That sick little... OOOH! >=( POWERDRIVE HIM ONCE FOR ME, KANE!!
Kane looks to Christina... then to Kael. He then raises his hands upward... drops them down, and not only does the flames explode from the turnbuckles, but the whole outside of the ring catches on fire!!
Megan: Wow!! This match is underway, people!! Let's go!
Both Kael and Kane circle the ring of fire... sizing each other up...
Megan: Tie-up... and Kane EASILY overpowers Kael! Knee to the gut! SIDE SLAM!! Keep in mind folks, that not only you must set your opponent on fire here in this match, but by Co-Commisioner Shaed Bloodgrave's ruling, you can also win via pinfall or submission!
Christina: Yeah what a guy, huh? ^_^ GO KANE!! SAVE TALISIA!!!
Megan: Kane goes for an elbow drop, but Kael rolls out of the way! Kane sits back up, but Kael kicks Kane in the back of the head! Ouch! Kane's getting up, and Kael meets him up... FALLING NECKBREAKER!! OHH!! KANE SAT RIGHT BACK UP!!!
Christina: WOO-HOO!! ^_^
Megan: Kael's trying to keep Kane down, but he's just slowing the Big Red Machine down!! CLOTHESLINE-- DUCKED! AND KANE WITH THE LIFTING CHOKEHOLD!!! AND A THROW-- Oh, so close to those burning ring ropes!!
Christina: Boy, it would so break my heart if Kael got burned. >=P
Megan: Kane picks Kael up... THROAT THRUST! ANOTHER!! AND-- no, that was blocked! And... COMBOED INTO THE REVERSE FULL NELSON NECKBREAKER!! And Kane's down!! Kael keeps on him! SHAMALAMA DOO DROP!! Now... OH, DING DONG DROP!!
Christina: >.o! Oooo... well, it's not like we were going to do anything too kinky tonight... ^^;;
Megan: Look at Talisia! She's screaming to Kane! Telling him to fight back! She's rooting for the Big Red Machine one hundred percent here!
Christina: Of course! She doesn't want to be eaten by that nut Kael! I don't think ANY of us want her to get eaten!
Megan: Oh, COVER! One! Two! NO, KANE SAT RIGHT BACK UP!! Kael grabs him and... TWIST OF FATE-- NO!! COUNTERED INTO A HUGE CLOTHESLINE BY THE BIG RED MACHINE!!!
Christina: Yes!!
Even Talisia cheers, hopping up and down in joy.
Megan: Kane gets Kael up and steps back... CLOTHESLINE! NO!! COUNTERED!!! SWINGING NECKBREAKER!! NO!! THAT GOT COUNTERED!! MY GOD!!! OWW!! KANE COUNTERED THE SWINGING NECKBREAKER INTO A MODIFIED CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB!!! COVER! ONE! TWO! But SOMEHOW, Kael kicks out!!
Christina: Probably dreaming of cooked elf briskets. Well, we'll put a stop to that...
Christina suddenly stands up, reaching into her cleavage.
Megan: What... what're you doing?!
Christina smiles, and pulls out a key!
Christina: Ohh, just borrowing a skeleton key from the ol' psycho ward. ^_^ Excuse me.
Christina pulls the headset off and walks towards Talisia. Telling the elf girl everything is okay, she sticks the key into the shackles...
Megan: Christina's freed Talisia!! Listen to the rousing pop she's getting!! Way to go, Christina!! Now she's taking her away from here! Yes, go! Go get her away from that psycho!
Whoa, Kael's noticed the deception! But... but he can't stop them because of the fire!! Kane's got him now!! AND... CHOKESLAM BY KANE!! CHOKESLAM!! CHOKESLAM!!! Kane signals for the end!! He sets him up... AND THERE'S THE POWERDRIVER!!! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! YES!! KANE WINS! KANE WINS!!!
Winner: Kane
Kane stares at the downed Minister... then to the ropes... he raises his arms up... then slowly brings them down. And the flames shrink down and extinguish!
Megan: Wow...! o_o; Kane... I never knew just how refined Kane's power over fire was! Wait, Kane's got JR's Barbeque Sauce and... ^_^ HA HA HA!! HE'S POURING IT ALL OVER KAEL! HA, TAKE THAT, YOU SICK PSYCHOPATH!! Yes folks, I apologize for my biasness... but, well... eating other people is wrong! Just remember that! We have to take a commercial break, but we'll be right back with more EAW action! And maybe I'll get Lilith back here, too... ^^;
***
And now, a musical interlude ^_^
***
Scene switch to the backstage. Talisia has her arms around Kane, hugging him tightly as she cries happily.
Talisia: Oh, THANK YOU! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! YOU SAVED MY LIFE, KANE!! THANK YOU!!! ^_^
Kane merely nods softly as he pats Talisia on the back. Christina smiles softly as she too nods.
Christina: I think you should stick with us until the show ends. I don't trust that Kael, he could try to get you again.
Talisia looks to Christina and nods softly.
Talisia: I agree... though... well, I need a shower. I must be clean of the ordeal I went through.
Christina smiles.
Christina: No problem... c'mon, I'll keep you company in the women's locker room. Kane, you'll be okay?
Kane: I'll be fine... I'll wait in the men's dressing room. Both of you. Be careful.
Christina: We will. ^^ C'mon Talisia.
Christina and Talisia both smile as they walk to the locker room, leaving Kane to cross his arms and cock his head.
Kane: ... Hmph... women...
Scene switch to Megan... Lilith is indeed back at her side with a dreamy look to her face.
Megan: ... Well, look who's back... are you all right, Lilith?
Lilith: ... ^_^ ... *happysigh* I'm sated. But I've tasted her, Megan... I've tasted her sweetness and now I'm hooked! HOOKED FOR LIFE!!! ^.^ That is, unless you want me to taste YOUR sweetness...
Megan: Leave my sweetness outta this.
Lilith: Pooh. You're no fun. You and me and Ainako could make a real hot and steamy threesome...
Megan: No!
Lilith: Oh, pooh. ^^;
**Commercial Break**
"Return to Innocence" by Enigma cues up as we come back from break...
Megan: Welcome back fans, for our fourth match of the night..as usual, a tag team contest.
Lilith: Yeah, and the first team is Lupe and T-Bone!! Lupe's a cutey for a *ahem* mature woman. And I'd like to treat T-Bone like a piece of meat...wonder if there's a room for a fourth in their fun?
Megan: Well, I'm sitting here next to someone nearly 500 years old, and she's nowhere near being "mature."
Lilith: 5-10 sex sessions a day keeps the wrinkles away!
"War" by Bone Thugs N Harmony cues up, and Lupe waits on her tag team partner, T-Bone, as he makes his way out...
Megan: The third member of this little love trio, Sonnette, is the former EAW Champion...but Blink has, it's been rumored, every intention of giving Sonnette a title shot should she win...of course, that's quite a big if.
Lilith: Blink sure does have "ifs." She has some of the biggest "ifs" out of any of the EAW babes. ^_^
Megan: *ahem*
Lilith: I don't have very big "ifs." Normally...but you know I can--
Megan: Yes...we know. A very handy talent if you want to persue an acting career.
Lilith: Well...only really would be interested in Sonnette's former line of work.
Megan: WELL THEN...the team of Lupe and T-Bone in the ring now..their opponents set to come out any...
"Tear it Off" cues up...
Megan: Now the opposition, as Gorilla would say, coming out now. Along with their new manager, Stacey Keibler.
Lilith: HOOO-HOOO-HOOO!! MAKAMAKAMAKAMAKA!! *whistle* *drool*!
Megan: Done now?
Lilith: Almost...*drool* *whistle, whistle* HACHI-MACHI!! WHOOOOO-HOOOO!!....now I'm done.
Megan: Chaynz...Buzzsaw...with Stacy Kiebler. Who's skirt has to be breaking some sort of state law for being THAT short.
Lilith: Wow...check out those legs...so long..tight...muscular...I'd like to take her to my private lovenest and show her how cookies are really made...
Megan: Well...certainly an avid supporter of Chainsaw...looks like Chaynz is going to start for his team...
*ding, ding*
Megan: The first two in this match will be T-Bone and Chaynz starting things off....lock up center of the ring....T-Bone tosses him over with an armdrag. Chaynz back up...slugfest now...T-Bone into the ropes....Chaynz with a drop toe hold!! Chaynz with a jumping elbow drop on T-Bone!! Pulls him up now...Buzzsaw holds the foot up...T-Bone's snout rammed into the boot. Tag made to Buzzsaw...Buzzsaw in...double Irish Whip...T-Bone to the far ropes--DOUBLE clothesline! T-Bone up...ducks the second clothesline--nearly hits Chaynz..T-Bone turns around--HAYMAKER on Buzzsaw knocks him down!! Chaynz to the apron...T-Bone and Buzzsaw now slugging it out. Buzzsaw the lighter of the pair but perhaps the one with the much worse temper.
Lilith: Worse temper? That's like trying to choose between boffing Edge or Christian...both totally boff-tacular!!
Megan: T-Bone takes control....Buzz to the ropes...T-Bone scoops him up off the ropes--RUNNING POWERSLAM!!
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ONE!
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TW--Kickout!
Lilith: T-Bone's going places...trust me...after all, he's sleeping with a former World Champion. ^_^
Megan: T-Bone pulling him up now...tag made to Lupe...Lupe into the ring now....laying in some kicks to the chest of Buzzsaw...armwringer...T-Bone up...and axehandle smash across the back...Lupe going up top...Tornado DDT--NO, Buzzsaw tosses her off. Lupe up...SPEAR from the second rope takes her down!! And Buzzsaw firing away with right hands!! Pulls her up...sends her into the ropes...telegraphs--grabs his head and tosses it to the mat!! Buzzsaw up...backbreaker by Lupe! Lupe pulls him up to his feet...elbow across the back of the head...Lupe sends him to the ropes...back--spins round back...CRUCIFIX PIN!!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
Kickout!!
Lilith: Whoa...that's something you don't see him use usually.
Megan: Buzzsaw with great high-flying skills...although he often chooses not to use them. Pulls up Lupe now...rams her face first into the corner....kicks laid into the chest by Buzzsaw...climbs up to the second rope...could be...Hurracanrana!! Into a Pin!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!
Lilith: T-Bone could get might pissed to see him putting her in that position...
Megan: Buzzsaw pulls her up...DDT set u--NO! COUNTERED INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS RELEASE SUPLEX!! Buzzsaw up...scoop and a slam by Lupe....has Buzzsaw in the headlock now...hits the ropes...blind tag made to T-Bone...Lupe now..lays him out with the Bulldog!! T-Bone up to the top....DIVING ELBOW DROP ONTO BUZZSAW!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout! Great escape there! T-Bone up now...very fresh still..pulls up Buzzsaw...Buzzsaw in need of a tag...thrown back first to the far corner! T-Bone from behind...cinches him up...PUMP HANDLE SLAM!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
Foot on the ropes! Pin must be broken...T-Bone pulls him up to his feet...exchanging blows now...
Lilith: *snicker*
Megan: Ducks a long one thrown by T-Bone!! Quick back drop suplex made by Buzzsaw!! Buzzsaw hits the ropes...flying lariat misses...T-Bone with a kick to the midsection...CAUGHT by Buzzsaw!! Spins him around...full nelson!! INTO A FACEBUSTER!! Crawling for the tag...MADE IT!! Chaynz tagged in!!
Stacy Keiber jumps on the announce table and cheers on Chainsaw in between dancing.
Lilith: And...Stacey cheering on Chainsaw!!
Megan: Up on our announce table dancing! DAMNIT!! GET DOWN FROM THERE!! Go to..the Spanish announce table or something....
Lilith: Would make up a LITTLE BIT for all the times wrestlers have gone through theirs. ^_^
Megan: Chaynz and T-Bone--blocks the shot from T-Bone! Once...twice...thrice in rapid succession...Chaynz hits the ropes...flying Dropkick!! T-Bone up again...another takes him down!! Chaynz going for another--T-Bone catches him this time...Full Nelson--RELEASE SUPLEX!!!
Megan: Stacey down from our announce table, and it looks like Chainsaw in some degree of trouble....tag made...and NECKBREAKER by T-Bone!! Lupe heading up to the top...HOWLING MOONSAULT connects!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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SHOULDER UP!! SHOULDER UP!! Chainsaw still in it!!
Lilith: With Stacey around, they DEFINITELY wanna be "in it." THAT'S MOTIVATION, bay-bee!
Megan: Lupe and Chaynz back and forth now....kick..and setup by Lupe...setting him up high with the Brainbust--NO!! Falls behind and into the Dragon Sleeper--fights out of it! Irish Whip--reversal!! Lupe into the ropes...lifts her up...BUZZSAW OFF THE TOP--MAJOR SHUTDOWN!! INTO THE COVER!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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THREE!!!
*ding, ding*
Lilith: Yayyyy!! Stacey's very happy now!! She's doing a happy dance! Boing, boing, boing...look at 'em bounce, Meg. ^_^
Megan: Well..your thing, not mine...
Winners by Pinfall >>> Chainsaw
Lilith: I'd like to see yours, too...
Megan: Well...*ahem*...for the millioneth time...no.
"Tear It Off" plays again as Chainsaw picks themselves up...
Megan: Well, Chainsaw going to walk away with the tag team victory...but it was a close match. I've...just recieved word that Michael Cole is in the crowd where there's an unusual attendant.
Cole: Well...fans...it seems we have an unexpected guest here in the form of...Logan..
Shot pans out to see what appears to be Wolverine in street clothling...a piece of paper clutched in his left hand...and he's sniffing around.
Cole: Logan a PWF wrestler...and...are you planning to be a part of Unholy Wars?
Logan: *in a low, gruff voice* No way, bub. Isn't my business...I'm here for a different reason...to watch Blink's match...and also...to do a little hunting...
Logan sneaks behind a fan that has his back turned...he sniffs at him, then the note, then grabs him by the shirt collar, tearing off his shirt (!), and yanking him around to face him...as a set of sharp metal blades extend from just above his knuckles (!).
Logan: Hello, bub...enjoying the show?
"Uhhh...is...there a problem?"
Logan: Just that I smell the stench of of an FoH asshole on his note on Blink's dressing room...and it smells exactly like you...
"I...I...didn't do it."
Logan: *grabs him around his throat* DON'T BULLSH*T ME....my scent doesn't lie...take out your wallet....let me see....
"Well...n--"
Logan: I'll help myself, then.
Logan slices off the seat of his pants, leaving his underwear exposed, and grabs the wallet that falls out.
Logan: Let's see here now...drivers license...VISA...ah...Friends of Humanity membership...thought you weren't?
"Alright...I'll admit...I put that note..."
Logan: Thanks for cooperating...you know? There's a heavy fine for indecent exposure, you prejudiced bastard...
With a few quick slices, the remaining clothes he had on are shreds on the arena floor.
"Yeeeeep..."
Logan: I suggest you beat a hasty retreat...but they sell Blink shirts and the like there...may want to pick that up for now...
He tosses him back his wallet, keeping the FoH card.
Logan: Blink's a good kid...leave her alone...it's mutants like ME you outta be afraid of...
Logan slices the FoH card with his claws...shoving him on his way.
Cole: Uhh....mmm...
Logan: Back to you, Megan...
At the announcer's desk....
Lilith: Ooooooh...he's DREAMY....
Megan: Glad I'm not on HIS bad side...well...up next, the big main event....featuring Blink...Triple H...the World Title...NEXT!!
**Commercial Break**
We come back from break, and to the announcer's desk...
Megan: Welcome back, everyone, as it's time for the main event!--The EAW World Title Match!!
Lilith: Well...OF COURSE the World Title match is the main event...Hunter ain't no Big Show, babe!
Megan: Well...tonight's match is sure to be special...Blink, EAW superstar since soon after it's inception has earned her shot at the EAW World Title against Triple H...and can she get the job done, winning the title...doing what everyone thought she couldn't do?!
Lilith: We don't know yet...but that doesn't change the fact...that she looks REALLY....REALLY yummy in tight clothing and spandex. ^_^
Megan: Well, I'd agree with you there, that's she very fit...and her mutant muscles give her the strength she needs to actually compete on the same level as the male stars here in EAW.
Lilith: Come on, admit it, Megan. You'd looooove to GITDOWN with her if you had the chance. You can admit it, we're all adults here. Don't hide it!
Megan: I'm not hiding anything, and as much as you wish to the contrary, I'm not interested in women.
Lilith: I'll NEVER GIVE UP, though...that's one thing I've learned from Blink. ^_^
"It Just Feels Right" cues up...
Lilith: Lit--oops...sorry, reflex action...but was just expecting the lickable lovable Li-ta.
Megan: Well, you have the theme right, but here comes its new user...the challenger for the title...BLINK!!
"The following match-up, scheduled for one fall with TV Time remaining, is for the EAW World Heavyweight Title. Introducing first, the challenger, from Miami, Florida...she stands 5'5" and weighs in at 110 lbs. BLINK!!!!!"
With a *blink*, one of Blink's transportals open and shut at the top of the stage, as she touches down upon it.
Lilith: You know...one problem about this match is that I'm not quite sure who to cheer for...I like Blink and and I'd jump at the chance to sex 'er up...but I'm also a bit partially to Trippin' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYCH!
Megan: Well, then sit tight, because you'll probably be sad and happy no matter what the outcome, and--is that? Yes, look who is in the front row over there...
Cut to a shot of Logan over in the front row, smiling at Blink as she gets in the ring...they make eye contact briefly.
Megan: PWF star Logan, who we saw make his presence felt just a bit earlier...could he take part in this match?
Lilith: I don't know, but I know he's a rough sunnovagun. He's got a healing factor kind of like Shaed....so if I were to boink him, we could do it again and again and again and agai--
Megan: Ummm...you made your point, Lilith.
Lilith: --n.
Blink warms up in the ring, as "Primal Concrete Sledge" cues up....
"And her opponent, and the defending EAW World Heavyweight Champion...he stands 6'4" and weighs in at 250 lbs....accompanied by Ric Flair...'The Decadent'...Hunter...Hearst...Helmsley!!
Lilith: *is suddenly in a cheerleader outfit* GO HUNTER, GO!! GO, HUNTER GO!
Megan: Would you sit down?
Lilith: Heh...alright...just...after this! *moons the camera*
Megan: It could be worse I guess...at least they haven't brought Gertner back...
Lilith: Well, I could wear a neckbrace and tell you dirty limericks if you want...
Megan: Really, that's okay! Hunter making his way down to the ring...the veteran Ric Flair behind him...and we'll see Ric return to the ring at Unholy Wars...maybe even sooner, when he faces Don DiBiase.
Lilith: Yeah...too bad he thinks life is all about money...when we both know it's about makin' love...am I right?
Megan: I think both of you have serious issues, but that's just me, I guess...title handed over to the referee...and we're about to see a long, brutal bout between these two, but just how they'll wrestle it and what the outcome will be we're not sure...
*ding, ding*
Megan: Some words of encouragement from Ric to Hunter...and champion and challenger move in toward each other...Blink rushes in--hammerlock...reversal by Hunter...into the armwringer...reversal by Blink...locks up...Hunter overpowering her....HEADBUTT by Blink! Blink off the ropes--HIGH FLYING ELBOW!! Hunter down...Blink pulls him up...scoop--no! Hammered down across the back...Hunter fires her into the corner...charges in, back elbow....CHOP across the chest now!!
"WHOOOOOO!!!"
Megan: Another!
"Whooo!!...WHOOO!!!...WHOOOO!!!"
Megan: A series of them that got to make his mentor proud...and setting her up again....reversal! Blink into the corn--gets the boot up!! Catches Hunter...Blink up to the second rope...OFF WITH A SUNSET FLIP!!
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ONE!--Kickout! Only a one count!
Lilith: Man...to be in the ring with Blink right now...ooooo...the fun I would have! And...do you believe those rumors about Blinkie being bi are true?
Megan: Well...I don't know, and it's completely up to her if she wants to keep something like that a secret.
Lilith: Hehehe..
Megan: Blink pulls Hunter up...lays in kicks to the midsection...to the ropes....hits the near ones...Tae Kwon-Do Jump Kick by Blink! Cover again!
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One!
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Kickout again just after the one!
Lilith: I know something you don't know! I know something you don't know!!
Megan: If it's about sex, "No, duh!"
Lilith: Well...kinda.
Megan: Blink setting up Hunter now for a suplex--not quite...Hunter blocks it...answers with one of his own--DROPS HER CHEST FIRST ACROSS the top rope!! Suplexes her in, now!! Cover by Hunter!
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ONE!
Kickout!
Lilith: Hunter always said he'd like to be on top of Blink, but in another way he'd enjoy more.
Megan: Hunter pulls Blink back up...another suplex could be--NO! Hunter--
Lilith: Smacks her on the ass!! Hee-hee!
Megan: And now...he's..
Lilith: Squeezing it!! OH DAMNIT!! HUNTER YOU LUCKY!
Megan: --Into the DDT!! And Hunter seemingly just toying with her now...and...having some words with Logan out in the front row.
Lilith: And Logan just said he's Number One! And don't misunderstand that ass grabbing...it's just a show of affection. Plus Hunter wants to make sure she's keeping it in good shape!
Megan: Hunter measuring her now...DROPS THE KNEE across the chest! Cover!
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One!
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Kickout again.
Lilith: Don't bruise the goods, Huntsy!
Megan: Helmsley rolling to the outside now...yanks out Blink by the ankles....grabs the right one--SNAPS IT DOWN onto the apron!! Pulls her out...presses her overhead--drops her onto the steel barricade onto her knee!! Now dropping that knee into the back...And Blink in trouble here....drives the knee into the floor!
"3"
Megan: Hunter hammering away on Blink...but Blink firing back now...Hunter going for--NO..counted into an atomic drop by Blink!
"4"
Megan: Hunter rammed face first to the guardrail--but nails Blink with a back elbow! Hunter up to his feet now--BUT BLINK NAILS HIM WITH A THRUST KICK!!
Lilith: With a boot on, unfortunately...
Megan: Blink now...hopping up onto the guardrail...walking it!! DROPS A LEG DOWN ON THE BACK OF HELMSLEY'S NECK!!
Lilith: RVD!! RVD!!! RVD!!!
Megan: Blink rolling him him....COVER!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
And a kickout by Hunter!
Lilith: This'll be a LOOOONG night...
Megan: I believe you're very much right on that account...and Blink getting up now....stomping away on Hunter...the neck and upper back region...Hunter getting up...Blink setting him up--Snap Suplex!! Pulls him up now...armbar....WAIT...now Hunter reverses into one of him own...TRIPS HER UP...going for a legbar on that right leg!! Blink scrambles for the ropes...gets it!! Hunter up to his feet now...pulls Blink up...send her into the ropes...Hunter off the ropes...HIGH KNEE on target!! Hunter covers!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!! But Hunter getting right back up...pulls up Blink...BACKBREAKER on her now...and Hunter grabs the right leg, wrenches back on it now...trying to weaken that knee...Blink trying to push her way up....Hunter slams her knee into the canvas!!
Lilith: Uh-oh...Hunter knows just where to attack, and he's not going to relent on that...
Megan: Hunter pulls her up...TOSSES her into the corner now...Hunter firing away now...vicious rights on Blink...A CHOP again...now..
Lilith: A big ol' hug!!
Megan: Try a big BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX rather....and Hunter grabs that leg...twists...drops his OWN knee down into her knee...HOOKS THE LEG!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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KICKOUT!!
Lilith: Looks bad for Blink...grabs the top rope...stomping away...and...complaining to that referee about the count..and--FLAIR RAMS HER KNEE INTO THE RINGPOST!!
Lilith: He didn't see it, though!
Megan: KNEE DROP down across the forehead of Blink...and Hunter pulls her back up by the hair...kick to the midsection...SET UP NOW.....THE PEDIGREE!!! Hunter hits the Pedigree!!!
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ONE!!!
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TWO!!!!
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THREE!!!
Wait...no....2.99999998, more like...the referee says it was a narrow kickout....but it was a kickout just before his hand hit the mat....Helmsley is downright...
Lilith: Pissed?
Megan: That would be the word for it, yeah...
Megan: Hunter still in control now...snapmares her over....pulls her up again...reaching down...Hunter pulls both her ankles behind her back...what's he doing?!
Lilith: Making a big purple pretzel?
Megan: DROPS HER DOWN ON BOTH KNEES!! Like an inverted atomic drop, only with the impact behind on her knees...that could be it...Hunter drags her into the center of the ring...CALLING FOR THE FIGURE FOUR!!!...applying it--BLINK ROLLS THROUGH WITH A SMALL PACKAGE PRESS!!
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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NO!!! NOO!!! Almost a huge upset there for the title...one that must have stunned Helmsley!
Lilith: And me too...I thought he was about to put her away there...
Megan: Helmsley has her up for the ride....DROPS HER DOWN with a high vertical suplex....stomps into the midsection...Blink pulled up again...Hunter grabbing her by the seat of her pants...and...DRIVES HER SHOULDER INTO THE RINGPOST!!! Unbelievable impact....Hunter waiting from behind...
Lilith: Something he likes to do...ask me or Hera. ^_^
Megan: GERMAN SUPLEX!!!
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ONE!
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TWO!!!
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NO!! Kickout!! Hunter very frustrated now...Irish Whip--Reversal--HARD KNEE into the stomach of Helmsley!!! Blink laying in some crescent kicks!!....Irish Whip now...Blink ducks the clothesline...has Hunter for--THE SWINGING NECK--NO, SWINGBREAKER!!! SWINGBREAKER!!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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THR--NO, a SHOULDER UP from Helmsley!!
Lilith: You've gotta be kiddding me!! Hunter kicked out of THAT?!
Megan: Both Triple H and Blink have kicked out of each other's signature moves....and Blink struggling to get up now....and noticablely limping on that leg...pulls Hunter up--HUNTER with a knee to the midsection!! Kicks that leg out from underneath her...Blink up again...AGAIN kicks the leg out from underneath her...Hunter may have a bit less left than Blink...but he's got two healthy legs to work with. Helmsley laying in more shots on Blink...fires her into the ropes...slips past...REVERSE NECKBR--NO, blocked!! Blink around and counters--MIRRORED SWINGBREAKER!! SHE MAY HAVE IT!!
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ONE!!!
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TWO!!!
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THREE!!!
*ding, ding*
Lilith: She...she did it!!! She did it...*sniff* I don't know whether to be happy or sad!
Megan: YES!! Blink has done it...the referee helping her up not...handing her the World Title, though she can barely stand!! She grabs it and is hugging it now...she's managed to keep her promise...BLINK IS THE NEW EAW WORLD CHAMPION!!!
Lilith: You heard it from her first, folks! ^_^ The purple babe is CHAAAAAAAMPEEEN!!
Megan: Blink on her knees hugging that title...and I think she's crying! Logan up on his feet...and his cheering louder than perhaps anybody here! Triple H shaking off those cobwebs...Blink getting up now...a hug from Triple H to Blink!
Lilith: Huh? Since when did he turn into Stone Cold...? Hunter leaning down to Ric Flair and...FLAIR HANDING HIM---BLINK TURN AROUND!!
Lilith: Oooooooh..
Megan: TRIPLE H WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER to that already bad leg of Blink!! What is he DOING...has he COMPLETELY LOST HIS MIND!! Twice!! THREE times driving the head of that sledgehammer into Blink's right knee...right down into the hamstrings now...grabs it...DROPS the knee...and Triple H heading out of the ring now...completely ruining this moment for Blink...as well as us.
The crowd boos Hunter tremendously as he and Flair leave the ring, beltless and yelling obscenities towards the ring and Blink hugs her right leg, as well as the title....
Megan: Still...unsportsmanlike conduct aside...Blink is the new EAW Champion! But what will this mean for the main event of Unholy Wars? Will she stay champion until then?
Lilith: Will Megan finally take her clothes off for us?
Megan: Umm...the answer is NO...but we should find out by Mayhem...goodnight everybody!!