"Live and Learn" from the Sonic Adventure 2 soundtrack cues up...

Kanyon: And here she comes... one of the most innovative wrestlers in EAW history.

Pamela: She was one of the few remaining people who was here from the start... but what's she have on her mind?

Capetta: Introducing now, for a special announcement, making her way to the ring, Sonnette Kintobor!!

Sonnette comes out from the back, all the blue dye gone from her fur and wearing the very first ring gear she ever wore, the Tomb Raider-inspired t-shirt and shorts. She waves to the crowd, and takes a mic from Capetta as she climbs into the ring.

Some of the fans whistle at her appearance...

"Hello once again, EAW fans! You know, I never thought I'd find myself here in the Mushroom Kingdom... especially since, for years, everyone just assumed Mario and I were bitter enemies! Of course, we know now that's not true..." She holds up a Sonic Adventure DX Gamecube case to make her point, grinning.

The camera pans to the crowd... the sky box area... where King Mario and Queen Peach chuckle a bit.

She tosses the case out into the crowd, where some lucky fan catches it. "But unfortunately, my arrival here tonight is somewhat bittersweet. You see, friends... tonight is the last time I will be appearing on EAW television."

Kanyon, Pamela: WHAT?

Kanyon: Sonnette is leaving? Why?

The fans don't take that to well, some breaking into a "please don't go!" chant.

She smiles sadly. "I know, I know... I'll miss you all, too! I've had a great run... but I'm getting older, the competition's getting younger... and frankly, I'm needed at home a lot, now. I don't know if any of you have heard, but T-Bone, AKA Major Theodore Thomson, USMC, has been recalled to active duty. So while their daddy's over in Iraq, Lupe needs all the help she can get with the cubs."

The chants die down, and the fans seems to understand what she's driving at.

"So as much as it pains me to say this... I'm retiring from the EAW, and from wrestling in general. I can't say for certain if I'll ever be back, or if I'll never be back. But for now, I'm going to bow out.

I've actually been considering this for a few months now, but I decided I'd stay until Derek and I lost the tag titles. And before any of you get the wrong idea, I didn't throw that fight. If we'd won, I was ready to stay a lot longer."

Out of respect, a "Thank You" chant starts.

Sonnette smiles. "No, thank you... all of you. You made this worthwhile. And now... it's time to say goodbye." She moves towards the ropes to leave the ring.

Pamela: (sniffle) I'm... actually touched...

Kanyon: Yeah... it'll be a shame to see her...

"Conflict" by Disturbed cues up... interrupting Kanyon

Kanyon: Wait a second, what's this about?

And out from the back, mic in hand, comes Nova!

"Whoa, whoa, whoa... not so fast, Son... I hope you're planning on sticking around long enough to get a going away party. After all, you're one of THE TOUGHEST B****ES I've EVER fought in my career!"

Sonnette stops in the middle of climbing out the ropes, and laughs, climbing back in. "Not to mention fought alongside, huh Nova? bWo 4-Life!" She grins. "Well, if you've got a party planned, I'd be crazy to miss it!"

"Well, we didn't have too much time to prepare, but hell yeah!" he comes and meets her in front of the ring, shaking hands, butting heads, and slapping her playfully on the ass.

She grins, slapping his ass in return. "So who's coming to this party, anyway? What sorry souls did you drag out to say goodbye to me?"

"Well, quite a few, but a few of 'em wanted to come out and say a little bit here. Soooooo Kiiiiiiiiirk Angel, come on down!!" he says in a pretty good Bob Barker impression.

"Gonna Fly Now" cues up over the speakers... and Kirk comes out of the entryway... wearing a jumpsuit ala Team Angle in blue, with the American Angels logo on the back of it, as he goes into the ring... and gives Sonnette the biggest hug he can.

Sonnette hugs back, laughing. "Kirk?! Now isn't this a surprise! I can't remember us being exactly on friendly terms..."

Kirk smiles to Sonnette a bit. "Well... that's because I had my head in the clouds at the time... but there is something I've always wanted to say. You... quite possibly... are one of the best EAW World Champions ever. And... I'm honored to have been in the same company as you."

She grins. "And you, and your sister, are two of the best EAW Tag Champions ever. Once your ego was deflated, I was proud to be here with you, too."

Kirk smiles to her. "And Sonnette... if you ever do come back to EAW? Remember this... I want to have a one on one contest between us.

She chuckles. "I'll remember that, Kirk. We never really did have a chance to have a good match. If I come back, I'd love to face you, man to hedgehog."

Kirk smirks a bit. "And it'll probably be the best match for either of our careers."

"Well, maybe this woman's husband will have his ego deflated like Kirk's was: our World Champion, Oseeeeeiiiiko!!" Nova introduces.

"Learn To Crawl" cues up! And out steps from the backstage, the EAW World Title strapped about her waist loosely, is Oseiko herself! She looks to Sonnette with a sense of loss... then sighs, as she heads down to the ring as the fans cheer her, occasionally slapping hands with the fans in a show of mutual respect towards them.

Sonnette grins, running up to meet Oseiko halfway down the aisle and hug her on her way down. "Heeeyyy... why the long face? Just 'cause I'm heading out, that's no reason to look like the world's ending..."

Oseiko nods softly... she hugs Sonnette back and unhooks the belt from her waist... stepping back. "... Sonnette-san... you were one of our greatest champions... you held the title longer than anyone here... even Shaed-sama..." she sighs. "... I hope I get to have a title reign as long as yours... until then..." she hands the title to Sonnette. "... go ahead.... hold it one more time..." ^_^

She smiles, taking the belt... and draping it back over Oseiko's shoulder. "I appreciate it, Oseiko... but that belt's yours now. You keep it. And keep it a long time."

"I'll do my best, Sonnette-san... I want to be as good a champion as you were." ^_^

Sonnette looks around her at her fellow stars, champions and ex-. "Thanks, guys... I knew leaving was going to be hard, but it's great to know I'm still wanted here even if I won't be around. But hey... these people paid to see WRESTLING, not a bunch of us getting mushy out here! So what say we clear the floor and let the people who actually have MATCHES get out here, huh?"

Pamela: Just like Sonnette to keep up the putting others above herself act...

Kanyon: Come on Pam, that's not a good thing to say now...

Pamela: Did I say it was a BAD thing?

Kanyon: Well, true...

Suddenly, "Breathe" by Disturbed cues up.

Kanyon: Now wait a minute, what business does she have out here?

Sonnette suddenly looks up to the entrance, her eyes narrowing. "... and what is she doing here?"

Kirk Angel blinks, turning towards the entryway... seeing a possible future opponent coming down.

"Are we gonna get some head now?" Nova seems puzzled. "Oh, right..."

Oseiko blinks... and turns around. "..."

Glenda steps out dressed in blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and sunglasses. Conspicuous by their absences are any nWo logos or her Tag Belt. She walks down the ramp and heads right up to Sonnette, staring her in the eyes for a moment, holding a mic.

Sonnette stares right back. "Well, well, well... if it isn't my old 'partner.' What brings YOU out here, Doc Yankem?"

Glenda just smirks a bit. "So.... You're leaving, huh? Running out?" She backs up a little so she can walk around and look to the crowd and turn back around to look at Sonnette. "You had a good run, I'll admit. You held the titles well. But now... you're running off." Glenda sighs. "Sorry.... I'm not letting you go yet...."

Sonnette shakes her head. "Running out? Hardly. Running out would have been leaving way back when you first called me washed-up. Running out would have been dropping the belt and leaving when you betrayed me. This is just going where I'm most needed."

Glenda nods. "True... cuz we may see you again. But like I said.... I can't let you go yet." Glenda walks up to Sonnette again. "You and I have allot of unfinished business. And I'm not going to let you go. Not until we finish it. Not until all this between you and I is over...." She stares in Sonnette's eyes again.

"What's left between us? I thought you pretty much said it all when you dumped me for the nWo. You've already beaten me in a singles match... humiliated me on my home world, I might add. This is supposed to be a party, not a fight."

Glenda continues to stare.... then slowly extends her hand to Sonnette.

Sonnette blinks, looking down at the hand... then grasps it firmly, a smile spreading across her face. "Ah. Yeah, I think that about says it all."

Oseiko smiles brightly, and claps her hands. ^_^

Glenda smirks and shakes hands then claps her hand on Sonnette's shoulder in a sorta half hug. "Now you can go. But I expect a match with you if you come back."

Kirk smirks... apparently seeing hope for Glenda.

She grins, jerking a thumb towards Kirk. "Get in line; he's got first dibs."

"GROUP HUG!" Nova interrupts, yanking everyone together.

She chuckles. "Ruling out Triple Threat matches?" Glenda smirks. "So what's this I hear about a party.... GAH!!" Gets pulled into the hug.

"Eep!" Oseiko giggles a bit as she hugs back.

Kirk smirks. "And I thought I was supposed to be the hugger..."

Sonnette laughs, joining in the group hug. "Can I kiss the monkey? I wanna kiss the monkey!" And, grinning, she plants a big kiss on Nova's cheek.

"Heheh, Crys might get jealous... yeah, we gotcha a cake, some booze, and I think a few presents, too, Son," Nova rubs her spiky head.

"Presents? For me? You shouldn't- wait, who am I kidding? Of course you should have!" She grins. "EAW, it's been a blast, but for now... gotta juice!"

"Live & Learn" cues up again, Sonnette revving up for a couple seconds, before cutting loose with a hyper-speed dash towards the back, leaving one of her trademark flame trails to burn itself out in the midst of the others... and we fade out on that. **Commercial Break**

"Stick 'Em Up" by Quarashi plays as we come back from break, and Fasha is making her way to the ring. Kanyon notes that both her and her opponent Hurricane seem to be extraordinarily focused for this match.

"Eye of the Hurricane" (???), WWE Hurricane's theme music, begins to cue up. Helms comes out, looking around confused--until it then swiches over to "Dare." He shrugs, and continues onto his way towards the ring.

Helms whips off his cape, hanging it on a ringpost, and then shakes hands with Fasha, and they step back in a battle-ready position as the bell rings.

Hurricane rushes in, a body scissors taking down Fasha, then locking her into an inverted chanchery. Snapmares her, and attempts a reverse suplex--Fasha counters midair, dropping him into a reverse neckbreaker. Cover, one count only. She sends Helms into the corner, charging in with a knee into the midsection, then putting her foot on the middle rope as she barrages his midsection with knee charges. He hooks both arms, headbutting him repeatedly, and launching him out of the corner with a Judo/Monkey Flip throw.

Spinning Roundhouse attempted as Helms gets up, but he drops up Fasha, leaping immediately into a side headlock on the grounded Fasha. Fasha quickly gets up, attempting to backdrop Helms--Helms shoves her chest-first to the rope, and attempts a suplex that is blocked when Fasha grabs the rope.

Helms gets back up--caught in the back of the head with an Enzui Giri! Fasha hits the far ropes, leaping forward with a front dropkick as Helms rises--but he dodges, quickly grabs legs, and slingshots her into the corner. Fasha staggers back as Helms runs off the ropes, grabbing her with a running reverse neckbreaker!!

Helms makes the cover, gets a two count, but Fasha kicks out!

Helms pulls her up--but she headbutts him into the midsection, and hits the Franchiser to stun him and puts him on the mat. She hits the ropes, springing off backwards into a reverse double knee drop just below the neck. She hoists up Hurricane with her uncanny strength, and tosses him face-first into the top corner turnbuckle pad with the snake eyes.

She turns around Helms, throwing a few kicks at his midsection, and sets him up for a Superplex--Helms fights back, countering with a face-first front Superplex!!

Fasha bounces off the mat, and in attempting to get up, Helms flies at her with a Cross Body!! 1! 2!

Kickout by Fasha!!

Helms pulls up Fasha, attempting a Crossface Halo, but Fasha reverses, backsliding him for a two count. Helms gets up, is whipped into the ropes, and Fasha takes him over with a headscissors. She pulls him up with a hammerlock, and attempts to turn the hold into a modified Cobra Clutch, but Helms counters, back elbowing her, and putting her into a Hammerlock of his own, and following up with a Russian Leg Sweep!! He drops a leg across the throat, and attempts a side leg lock on Fasha, but she rolls over, reversing the hold and locking on a single leg crab. Helms gets to the ropes, but Fasha drags him away from them, lifting him up in a judo choke sleeper, attempting to drag him away from the ropes--Helms slips free from her grip, takes her over with a Fireman's Carry, and surprises her with a Top Spin Face Buster!! As she gets up, he attempts the Flying Wizard--she ducks, yanking his supporting leg out from under him, and attempts a spinning toe hold--he counters, shoving her away with a foot to the rear, and kippups--Fasha comes off the ropes, leap frogs over Hurricane, and springs off the ropes with a back elbow, knocking the Hurricane on his back!!

As Hurricane gets up, a running spinning neckbreaker puts him back down, and then holding onto the move, turning it into the KICKSTAND CROSSLOCK, which she applies quickly and without Helms even suspecting it. Helms tries to fight free of the submission, rotating his body to get a foot under the rope, and Fasha breaks the hold upon the referee's instruction.

Sensing victory, Fasha begins the Fury's Rain, and Helms drops to one knee--she hits the ropes, and attempts a Shining Wizard--but HELMS BLOCKS THE KNEE!! Reacting quickly, he gets back up to both legs and throws Fasha over his shoulder behind him--but accidentally into the referee as well.

Helms takes a breather, and stands up once again. He holds back his right hand, signalling for the Hurri-chokeslam, and as Fasha gets up to her feet, grabs her by the throat, picking her up, and tosses her down to the mat!!

A grip,dressed in black, with a cap covering his face, comes out, setting a up a ladder by the ringside...

Hurricane shakes the referee to try to wake him up, but then decides to try to keep Fasha up, and pulls her up, attempting a Hurri-Breaker--Fasha crawls towards the ropes, rolling outside. Helms follows quickly after, trying to secure a win as much as he can under the circumstances, and throws Fasha back in the ring by the seat of his jeans... he goes for a version of the flying wizard himself--but Fasha gets back up--throwing a kick into his face as he catches her in the shoulder with a kick of his own. Fasha holds her shoulder and also-damaged neck, and pulls up Hurricane, about to try to finish him off with a Celipa's Agony--but Helms surprises her, countering with an Eye of the Hurricane!!

Hurricane is unable to capitalize, but crawls towards her..

Suddenly, the grip climbs the ladder, disrobing to reveal...

Willow Wisp?!

He then leaps off the ladder, hitting a Swanton Bomb from the ladder onto the Hurricane lying in the ring!! He drags Fasha onto Helms... and the recovering referee makes the count--

.

.

.

ONE!

.

.

.

TWO!

.

.

.

THREE!!

The Wisp disappears into the crowd. Kanyon: Why the hell's he here? Why'd help Fasha?!

Pamela: I don't care, but damn I love seeing Helms lose. HA-HA!...

**Commercial Break**

"Don't Mess With Me" by Lil' Kim hits as the crowd goes into a mixed reaction. Lexay walks out to the entrance ramp with a folder in hand. She grabs a mic. "How many of you are hear to party tonight?" Half of the crowd, most noticeably the male half, pops. "Well too bad, that ain't happening tonight." She teases. "Right now, there's other matters that need to be dealt with. Take Trash Stratus for instance. First she decides to be a complete dumbass and make all of us blondes look stupid by wrestling when she's pregnant. I mean, she had all the signs, but she ignores them because 'I'm Trish Stratus, I wanna prove that I'm really hardcore! I'm hardcore!'" Lexay mocks. "Oh give me a break! That's why you had a miscarriage in the first place, you were so stupid. And that sister of yours is just as, if not more stupider than-Oops, my bad. She was just too naive. I mean, did she actually think that she was cool enough to hang with me? I don't thank so. And on top of that she's one psycho puta! Well, not as psycho as Akiko, but psy-cho! Don't believe me? Ask my girl Shakira? She's not hear right now because she's afraid to be in the same place as her! Just look at the footage itself. Roll it, Gringos!" The screen shows the footage of Split Second where Krise attacked Shakira during the Extreme Battle Royal. "You see that? That's one crazy bitch right there. And now she's gone off somewhere. You know, I was going to try to work things out with her, but after what she did, good riddance to the psychotic--"

RRRRROOOOOOWL!!!!!

"Smooth Criminal" by Alien Ant Farm cues up, marking new entrance music for EAW's own Blue Tygress.

"Lexay, Lexay, Lexay..." Trish says with a sigh. "First of all, I'm not going to DIGNIFY your comments about me for Split Second with a response, but you're not worth it." She gives a thumbs-up to the cheer from the crowd at that. "How-EVER... you need to SHUT YOUR MOUTH about Krise. How DARE you say my sis is psycho when you go so far as to smash FREE WEIGHTS into a girl's head when she DARES not to share your attraction to her?" Despite this scalding accusation, Trish has got a strangely happy look on her face.

Lexay just smiles. "For a girl who slept with Vince McMahon to get to the top, you sure know how to bring up ancient history to someone else's face." Lexay then notices. "Nice breasts by the way... lemme guess... did you have plastic surgery, or did you managed to grow them out yourself?"

"For your information, I never went DOWN that road," Trish says with a smirk. "After Bubba Ray put me through that table..." With a silly grin, she does the 3-D hand-gesture. "...I was with Jeff. I never had TIME to make the mistakes my counterpart did. THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

"Whatever..." Lexay sighs. "Why do you care for her so much, anyway? I mean, she's not even really your-Oops!" She realizes that they spilled the beans.

Trish's eyes widen. "What? What did you say?!"

"As if you don't know. We all know about your Project: Stratusphere. You, or maybe your counterpart, had Vince McMahon make yourself a clone, just because she was too much of a pussy to fight for herself. So that doesn't make her any better than me. Beside, it was quite obvious. I mean, who has heard of a girl who could have the strength to pull off an F-5? And how she could destroy Shakira as easily as she did. No REAL human can do that. So basically, I was with a carbon copy of Trish all this time. So you don't have to care for her anymore as if she was your sister. She's actually nothing to you now, isn't she?" She smirks, thinking she's right.

Trish trembles. "I don't believe you."

"Of course you don't. After all, you think us Latinas are liars, don't you? Lucky for you, I have a tape so you can see for yourself..." She signals the production truck as the footage now shows.

Location: Gemini Institute, Malibu, CA. Two and a half years ago, back when it was still the World Wrestling FEDERATION, rather than Entertainment.

Trish Stratus taps her foot nervously, and pulls at her green hospital gown in a shy attempt to keep her decent.

"So, um... this isn't going to give me cancer in ten years, will it?" she jokes nervously.

Dr. Leeds gives a gentle, reassuring smile. "Everything will be fine, Trish. Just lay back and put your feet on the stirrups."

Trish complies, nervously eying the syringe that makes its way closer and closer with the crook of her arm. The exposed vein, bulging from the temporary tourniquet, seems to welcome that syringe. She winces and looks away, whimpering, "I hate needles..."

Dr. Leeds chuckles. "Just relax." He draws two ounces of blood from Trish's arm, and then hands the full syringe to one of his assistants. "Process this DNA sample, and inform Dr. Weir that Ms. Stratus will be ready for Memory Synch within the hour."

"Well now," comes the booming voice of the chairman of the World Wrestling Federation, "how is my star diva holding up?"

"Fine... I guess." Trish smiles. Hiding her deep concern for her well-being. "I've never exactly done this before..."

Vince holds her hand to reassure her. "Don't worry, my dear... Dr. Leeds has taken you through the most dangerous part! You've given them a sample of your blood, and the rest isn't nearly so painful, now, is it Dr. Weir?"

The next doctor enters, helping Trish off the gurney and rubbing her arm with alcohol. "Indeed, Mr. McMahon, Ms. Stratus, this next portion is harmless.... to you anyway." He guides Trish over to a strange looking device, with a plate to rest her chin, and two glowing eyepieces. "Look into this, please."

"Okay..." She applies. "What is this suppose to do?"

As she looks into, she receives a jolting flash, which temporarily blinds her. "This device takes a picture of your mind," Dr. Weir explains, "in a manner of speaking. Through your retinas, it maps and copies the electrical signals that your brain has transmitted to this point."

"Uhhh... okay, but can you do this one request for me?" Trish asks.

Dr. Weir hands her a bottle of eye drops and helps her administer them. "This will make those spots go away," he says. "What would you like?"

"When you're done, can you provide her with a memory?" She requests. "Kinda like mine, but a bit altered. As if she was my twin sister. I don't want her to know her purpose. What we're doing, as far as I know, is illegal already, but I don't want her to feel like her only purpose is to help the company. That would be totally wrong. So please, can you give her that memory, please?"

"Well, I don't know if I'd go so far as to say it's illegal," Vince declares proudly. "I have my best lawyers working to ensure that this will have no repercussions."

Dr. Weir scratches his chin thoughtfully. "I've been working on artificial memories for some time now, but with little success. Perhaps having the model of your memories to work from, I will have more luck..." With that, takes a disk from the Memory Synch device, and begins pouring over it.

Trish watches. "What are you doing, now?"

"Taking the copy of your memories, altering any and all instances of interaction with family and friends so that she'll remember them a little differently... As if she weren't alone, but with a twin sister..." He types with a furious pace, taking random moments to drag and drop "files" with the mouse, and then back to furious typing. "Also, I'm taking any instance where you remember being called by your name, and replacing it with another name. Would you care to name her? Remember, it should be a name you wouldn't mind being called yourself..."

"Hmm... Since she's more of an alternate version of me, how about Krise? Short for Kristina!" Trish suggests.

Vince raises an eyebrow. "Don't you have a younger sister named Kristine?"

Dr. Weir nods. "It's of little consequence. I'll build in a personality quirk for her... she's very busy... She always wants to get something important done, so she has little time to visit family... She won't think twice on it. Many siblings are used to being called by the other's name, so she won't bat an eye at being called by your name..." He makes a few more keystrokes, and then a few more point-and-clicks with the mouse. "Any other personality changes? What will she be used for most?"

"Well... she supposed to do the wrestling spots I can't do, so have her be nice and extra giving. But don't make her a total pushover either." She suggests.

Vince's beeper goes off. "I'm sorry, my dear," he says, kissing Trish's hand. "I must be off... I trust you will be all right with the good doctor?"

"Sure... no problem!" She smiles.

Dr. Weir watches as McMahon exits. "You don't like him, do you?"

"Yeah, well... he may not exactly be the best man in the world. But hey, he's rich!" Trish smiles.

Dr. Weir nods. "Money won't get you everything..." He scratches his chin thoughtfully. "I'll make this... Kristina... uncompromising loyal to you. You need her nice and giving, but if she is going to wrestle in your stead, you'll need her to be tough in the ring. A little bit of aggression, I think. Her mind will pick up on the wrestling moves quickly." He then grins. "Be careful though... she'll have a teensy bit more testosterone flowing through her than you, with that kind of attitude..."

"Heh... okay... maybe cut the aggression down a bit," she says.

"Oh, don't worry," Dr. Weir assures her, "she'll be just aggressive enough to put up a good fight when she needs to."

"That's cool!" She sighs in relief.

"Do you have any other concerns that you'd like to address?" he asks, continuing with the memory and personality build.

"Aside from her finding out about her creation, not really." Trish says.

"If these altered memories of yours turn out the way I expect, she shouldn't find out that she's a clone," Dr. Weir murmurs. "Additionally, I'll see to it that the proper identification is created for her. Social Security number, birth certificate, driver's license... things of that nature. For legal purposes, she'll have to be an American citizen, but I'm sure I can work out some deals with my offices in Toronto to see about backdating paperwork to place her in their record books as well."

Trish smiles. "That's great! Thank you, Doctor!"

Dr. Weir smiles. "The nurse should see to your out processing, Ms. Stratus... Your 'sister' will be born within the next hour, and should be ready to meet you tomorrow afternoon." He shakes her hand.

She smiles as she then exits. "This should work... I mean we never tried a clone before. But hey, it's not like we're doing Necrophilia or anything..." She shrugs.

Trish sighs, looking at the floor as the footage fades out. She seems to be having trouble finding the right thing to say.

"Nothing to say?" Lexay asks, "żDecir nada? You were all in the mouth a minute ago. Now you're silent?"

"You..." Trish says into the mic softly. "...you just don't get it, do you Lexay?" She shakes her head. "You think this is going to stop me from caring about Krise? If that's what you think, then you have NO IDEA who I am..."

"Stop you?" Lexay replies, shocked. "I just wanted to tell you the truth. That was my only intention. I just felt that you, and everyone else deserved the right to know, that's all."

Trish just sighs, and turns to leave. She looks very worried about Krise, as Riot Rulz fades to commercial.

**Taka says: COMMERCIALS ARE EEEEEEEVIL!**
**INDEEEEEED.**

Suddenly...

NEW WORLD ORDER!

The nWo Theme cues up in the arena... and out first comes David Flair... in his nWo Street clothes of black nWo Logo shirt, black jeans, and black trenchcoat. He walks out, then turns to the entryway... and does the Scott Hall point gesture...

Bullwhip follows, wearing an nWo Tanktop and jeans, accompanied by his two lovely ladies...

Glenda Jacobs and Akira walk out wearing their Tag Title Belts, dressed in blue jeans and the new "Blackhearts" T-shirts that have the nWo logo on the back and a what looks like a solar eclipse, only heart shaped, on the front, white light coming from a black heartshaped shadow, with a jagged white line going down the middle, with light busting from it. (Available in EAWShopzone.com! Buy yours now!).

Frosti then comes out, wearing a black fishnet shirt over a black sports bra, and a black leather miniskirt.

Erik walks out in his tights and a cut away nWo shirt. He seems to be rushing to the front of everyone.

And bringing up the rear is the Big Show... wearing an nWo shirt and black jeans. David waits for Erik to get there, and tells him to hold open the ropes...

Erik sits down on the middle and holds the top rope on his shoulder for everyone.

David motions for the others to enter first...

Bullwhip climbs in as well as his ladies, who give him a little smile.

Erik's eyes go wide as he stares at the ladies butts as they climb in. Glenda whaps him in the side of the head to play attention and she and Akira climb in as well.

Frosti walks in, snickering as she teases Erik, offering to let him tap her ass, but when he goes for it, she moves out of range and then laughs.

Erik frowns, after Frosti.

Big Show smirks, just patting Erik on the cheek as he does something that his counterpart could only DREAM of doing... and JUMPS over the top rope. David is the last to get in, stepping in after taking a mic, and looks around the arena. "Mushroom Kingdom... you are now... NWO COUNTRY!"

They boo quite loudly.

David just smirks before continuing. "Well, I know that you're all probably surprised to see me out here... still laughing at what happened when Eighteen got a hold of me. Yeah... let's all laugh at David Flair..." he says bitterly. "I blame this on Austin though... no way in HELL is Eighteen smart enough to do something like this. So Austin... don't expect everything that happened to you to be it. I will make your life more of a hell than your counterpart's. And that's starting now... as John Smith is out getting all the information he can on you." he states with a smirk before handing the mic to Glenda next.

Glenda takes it as Akira and herself take center stage. "We're just issuing a challenge. Angels? Girls of Goth? To whoever wins that match tonight, we challenge you to come out and give us a good run for the titles. Not saying you'll win them. Just don't want this to be boring." She smirks and Akira nods in agreement, smiling. Glenda then hands the mic over to Bullwhip. As she does she gives him a knowing glance in the eyes and a little smirk.

Bullwhip takes the mic as his girls smile at the crowd. "Trish, Trish, Trish... Where were you... You had a little crisis with the whole baby thing, something that you should've checked out before Split Second. Because of that, my shot was postponed. Then Kelly tells me that you promised Test. Test? TEST?!? Our match was postponed, and you went on and gave Test a Title shot before me?" Bullwhip shrugs. "It doesn't matter who actually holds the title. It can be you, Trish, Krise, or whoever you decide to give it too, it's still going to be the same outcome. As when I finally get my shot, you can bet your ass that I'm going to rip it from your cold dead fingers. You call yourself 'The Blue Tigress?' Call me the *bleep*-ing hunter that will snipe you out and hang you on the *bleep!*-ing wall." He then hands the mic over to Show.

Big Show takes the mic, all smiles right now. "Tonight... TONIGHT... the Show begins again! Spike... tonight it's gonna be a pleasure to see you get demolished by me tonight... as I prove once and for all that I am the TRUE giant of EAW. And afterwards? Any LITTLE champion that I choose... you better kiss your title belt goodbye... cause I'm gonna make it part of the nWo!" he says with a twisted grin, before tossing the mic to Frosti...

Frosti catches it. "It's a shame A-Freak-ko isn't here tonight. But then again, she's one lucky mentally-challenged bitch tonight, because after what you've done to Kelly, you are so a marked man... waitaminute... aw well, she smells like one anyway..." She muses herself. "But when she does show up, she's have three people gunning for her. One isn't here, but two of us are right here. " She points to herself, then to Show. "And Akiko... you better pray to God that you survive your first two nWo title defenses. Because if or when you get to me, I will not show you even a margin of mercy. I'm going to give you, as of tonight, everything you deserve, you fake whore!" She smiles as she then gives the mic back to David.

David smirks, giving it to Erik to let him talk a bit...

"Weeeeell weeell well. Looks like tonight, the jewel of the Emerald Isle once more gets to glimmer and shine." he grins. ".... in a land full of mushrooms. WHAT THE HELL?! What kind of weird hippy planet IS this?!"

Glenda frowns just a bit. Erik seems to have totally forgotten WHO not only lives here but is also married to one of the Princes.

The camera pans to the crowd, showing a fan with a sign that is basically a cut-out poster of Glenda and Mario Jr. hugging. It reads "nWo Royalty" and the girl jumps up and down as she realizes the camera's on her. She shows off her sign, inadvertently showing just how stupid Erik's remark was.

Erik doesn't notice it at all. "Anyway, tonight, I'm gonna beat up some unknown moron. Back to the Mushroom Kingdom. These houses?! What are we expecting to make a giant pizza? Your ruler IS Italian." He starts to sing in some mocked up fake Italian voice. "Eh Tony! Why you wanna make-a you Mama cry! I-uh am-uh froma Eetaly." He laughs a bit and Glenda just snatches the mic from him, shoves him tot he back of the ranks and hands the mic to David.

David just rolls his eyes... remembering to correct Erik later. "Anyway... I hope you people are ready for the new age... the New World Order's reign at the top--"

*KRAAAA-AAAASH!*

"Glass Shatters" cues up, and the crowd erupts in thunderous cheers!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOORING."

The camera pans up at the entrance, showing Stone Cold Steve Austin... with a sleepy expression on his face. He slowly lifts the mic to his mouth again.

"BOOOOOOOORING."

David seems VERY pissed off all of the sudden, as he angrily turns his attention to the entryway... glaring daggers at Austin.

"Cheese and Rice, David, yer... Yer PUTTIN' ME TO SLEEP!!!!!!!" Austin roars at the former Champ. "Things start to get interesting with everything the nWo people are sayin'..." Austin winks at the group collectively. "But then someone hands the mic back to you..." Austin's head starts lolling. "And... you start suckin' away all the interesting momentum they had buildin' up!" He rubs his eyes a little. "Matter o' fact... Ah'm gettin' a little tired right now... Someone... someone ELSE better start talkin' before Ah... Ah..." He starts to wobble a little, as if he's going to lose his balance. His eyes are already half-closed.

Frosti takes the mic. "Why don't you just take your sorry redneck ass home and let the real stars run the show, you has-been." She says, angrily.

David seems to be happy with her saying that... as if she took the words right out of his mouth.

Austin smirks at Frosti. "You just remember somethin', little girl. He points up at the 'Tron, and suddenly footage of Austin costing Frosti her shot at the Cruiserweight Title. "Ah gotta looooooong memory. And the way Ah figger it... You cost me a helluva lot more than Ah... cost... YOU. Ah've been nice to this point, keepin' outta yer title shots since then. GIVE ME A REASON TO REMEMBER WHO COST ME THE MATCH AGAINST AKIKO IN THE TOURNAMENT." He points to her.

David takes the mic... and glares at Austin. "What... the hell... do you want... Austin?" he asks angrily, all business it seems.

"BOOOOOOOORING."

David glares... and the nWo portion of the crowd closest to Austin start to throw batteries at Austin, waiting for his reply.

"The hell do Ah want...?" Austin mumbles sleepily. "Ah want.... zZzZzzZz... Ah want David Flair to stop bein' so damned boring... Ah want him... to... to..." Austin snaps back "awake" as a battery zings by his ear. "AH WANTCHA TO GET TO THE FRIGGIN' POINT!!!!!!! Ah've been listenin' to ya flap yer gums fer the better part o' five minutes, and Ah haven't heard ya say JACK and S*BLEEP*!!! At least Glenda had something INTERESTING to say! Angels or Goths fighting for the chance to face the Black Hearts fer the Tag straps? That's pretty damned cool. BUT ALL AH'VE HEARD FROM YOU IS A BUNCH OF GARBAGE!!!!!!!!" He tips his head back again, and the crowd starts to chant along with him:

"BOOOOOOOORING."

"Spit it out, David, whatever yer gonna say, before ya put the entire MUSHROOM KINGDOM to sleep!" The crowd roars their approval.

David is really pissed now. "FINE! SHOW!"

Show steps ups. "Yeah boss?"

"I'm gonna have Waters make a match, you Big Show, against Austin... IN A NO ESCAPE STEEL F*BLEEP*ING CAGE MATCH!"

Glenda blinks a bit at this and looks at David... but then smiles.

"About damned time you said something interesting," Austin says, smirking. "Show..." He nods. "Ah owe ya fer that 'Sault." He looks back to David. "Is that all you came out here to say? Hell, ya coulda done that BEFORE the broadcast!" He starts that chant again, but then pauses... and lets the audience do it instead.

"BOOOOOOOORING!"

Austin looks at David expectantly.

"No, THAT'S NOT ALL I HAVE TO SAY!" David says, apparently the stress getting to him. "IF by some chance you have a chance to get by Show in the match.... then at EAW Aggression... you get a chance to get ME!" he says, apparently reasoning escaping him right now.

Glenda then raises her eyebrow as if to say "What?!"

Bullwhip just smiles. "Hmm... this is getting interesting..." he says aside to on of his girls, Starla.

She just nods as she gives him a peck on the cheek.

Austin smirks, chuckling, "Like takin' candy from a baby. David... Ah accept yer challenge. And when STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN whomps THE BIG SHOW on the nWo Extreme Zone... Ah'll challenge you at EAW Aggression!" Austin shouts back to David.

"Not Goddamn Likely, Austin." David says...glaring with a face that, if it had power to do so, would set Austin on fire right then and there.

"...Ah'm not finished..." Austin smirks. "...Ah've got a stipulation of mah own: WHEN Ah face you at Aggression....... NUMBER ONE CONTENDER SPOT for the EAW World Title.... on the line."

David blinks in surprise... but seems to smile now. "Well, for once, what remaining brain cells of yours had a good idea. Fine...but I have my OWN stipulation for this...providing you by some rare chance you beat Show."

Show grins confidently... making a crushing motion with his hands in Austin's direction.

"Bring it on," Austin challenges. "Ah don't care if Ah have to face you and the entire goddamn nWo... Stone Cold Steve Austin WILL walk away from this... Number One Contender." The crowd roars its approval. "AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, 'CUZ STONE COLD SAYS SO!!!!!" With that, the Texas Rattlesnake drops his mic and exits the stage.

David glares, and looks towards Erik. "You stay here... Waters get your ass out here!"

Upon saying that... Booker Chris Waters rushes out to be Erik's cornerman. David and the rest of the nWo all leave the ring, leaving Erik in it alone.

"Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World cues up, and Arana comes from the back!

Erik looks shocked and surprised at who his mystery opponent is.

Arana rushes the ring, and immediately starts to take apart Erik, using a variety of kicks and submissions on him. She nearly wins outright quickly with a Venom Fang and a cover, but Erik narrowly kicks out.

A series of suplexes later, Erik surprisingly reverses a DDT attempt into a Northern Lights Suplex!! A pair of clotheslines puts Arana down, and Erik rolls her up with a small package, but she kicks out.

Erik chops away on her in the corner, and throws her out of the ring, using the environment to help him keep onto his advantage.

Arana counters though, throwing him against the stairs as the referee's count reaches 5. He tries to make a break for it, running around the ring, but Arana catches him the seat of his tights, suplexing him onto the floor. Erik tries to crawl under the ring, but Arana tries to pull him out--Erik decks her with a chain wrapped around his fist, then picks her up and drops her throat-first across the guardrail, dumping her into the crowd, and diving into the ring.

He takes a breather as the count reaches 10, and the bell rings...

Arana climbs back to the ringside area, upset and frustrated, and Erik looks extremely happy at advancing...

But Booker Blaine comes out from the back, demanding that the match be restarted, and a true winner decided.

Arana gets back into the ring. Erik fights back, but Arana knocks him to the mat with a spinning Heel Kick, and goes up top for the Fallen Angel. She locks on the Arana Clutch, and Erik taps out...

Winner by Submission >>> Arana

**Commercial Break**

"Cold" by Statix X plays as Frosti comes out to a number a boos, and she has new white streaks in the bangs of her hair.

Frosti grabs a mic. "It is nice to be here in the Mushroom Kingdom tonight. Except for the fact that this arena is infested with a bunch of losers.

The crowd boos her...

"Now, as some of you all know I made a comment about a certain bitch that needs to be put in her place. That's right, our so called 'Triple Crown Champion' has been on a bitching streak as of late. Must be that time of month when she PMS." Frosti shrugs. "Aw well, I understand that Akiko doesn't exactly like my cold hard facts. But no matter, if the mentally scared bitch has a problem why don't she just come out and say it to my face... that is unless she's too much of a scared duckling to come out and try something. I know she's tough to some degree, but let's face it. She's just a rich man's little girl who hides behind facepaint, just to make herself believe she's-"

Before Frosti can finish, "Cherry Bomb" by Shoroken Knife hits as "Akiko" comes out, not too happy. "Akiko" is obviously Crash Holly in a drag, wearing kapri pants, a belly shirt with "Naughty" printed on the front and "U Wish" printed on the back, and sneakers. Not to mention the trademark purple Tobaggan over a pig-tailed black/white wig.

Frosti just looks at "her," "Wow, Akiko... you sure let yourself go. I mean, you didn't even bother to shave your legs, and it looks like you're growing quite a beard there! But I have to admit, the manly look is certainly not you."

"Why don't you just shut the hell up, you whore!" Crash says in his "best" Akiko impression. "You're just like every other girl I've met. You're all a bunch of sluts, degrading yourselves. Don't you have any respect? Don't you have any decency? Why do we have to shave our armpits and legs? I mean, what are we supposed to be? Super Models? Sure, that's what attracts us guys, but come on! They should love you for you, regardless on how you look, regardless if you look like you've let yourselves go! Be free, like me! BE FREE! BEEEE FREEEE-"

Frost snatches the mic from Akiko, "Thanks to you, over 2/3 of our audience has thrown up. Anyways, I just have to ask. Why were you so mean to Kelly? I mean really, come on! You can tell me. I figured since you enjoy sharing everone's most intimate and private moments, you could tell us what's going on inside of that demented and repulsive, yet incompetant mind of yours."

"Akiko" snaps. "Lemme tell you something! I don't have to tell you a damn thing what my problems are! It's none of yer business. Only I am allowed to exploit others like the immoral freaks they are! They're evil! It's goes against everything in the bible! They love sex! They don't hate sex like me? They haven't been raped like me! They don't know the REAL truth about sex! It ruins lives, it kills. Sex doesn't sell, it kills!" "She" then glares at Frosti. "But you... you're the worse of them all, you had sex with Lilith... just so you can be your own self again, you heathen!"

"Okay, so if I have sex with another woman, I'm a heathen? So I guess Lexay and Shakira are also heathens. I guess Tymphany Craig and Vanessa Campell are also heathens because they also had a intimate time together. I guess you hate Lesbians, too?" Frosti laughs. "Oh you are so going to get a lot of complants from GLAAD..."

"So what? They're all evil, and I hate them. So what they didn't do anything to me, it's not like that they won't in the future! That's just how I feel! I don't have to listen to what you or anyone else think. Who wins the titles? Who gets the movie offers? Who has the talkshow? That's right, it's me! Akiko Nakano! The White Swan! Not you! Frosti! The Cloned Whore!"

Frosti sighs. "Full of yourself... are you..."

"I am the best champion of all time ! I have bragging rights, bitch! The only bragging rights you and possibly everyone else have is sleeping around with half of the town!"

Frosti rolls her eyes as she then kicks "Akiko" and gives "her" the Splitting Edge. "Sorry about that, I guess Akiko became drunk with the mouth, I guess. Anyways, I'm going to let the grunts remove this trash from the ring as I head back to relax and enjoy the rest of this, EAW-based show.

"Cold" hits as Frosti exits the ring. The nWo grunts come out as Frosti points to the person to "help" to the back. As the grunts carry "Akiko" to the back, the fans boo heavily as a "Crack Whore" chant builds up.

The Jetson's theme music (???) plays as we come back from break--briefly, before it goes back to the nWo theme.

**Commercial Break**

"Big" (WWE's Big Show's theme cues up... briefly, until it is switched to Bruce Dickinson's "The Zoo."

Kanyon: Hmmph..some joker mess around and change the themes that were cued up?

Pamela: I dunno, but personally, I love Big Show's WWE theme! WEEEEEELL! It's the Biiiiig SHOOOOOW!!

Kanyon: Uh-huh.. =P

Pamela: Crank it up and turn off all the liiights, dawg...

Kanyon: STOP IT!!! >_<!!!!!!!!

The Big Show comes out with Booker Waters behind him, and Erik O'Reily, still in his ring gear from his tournament match.

Spike Dudleys theme--and then "Superbeast (Girl on a Motorcycle Remix)" by Rob Zombie cues up, and Spike comes out from the back. Morty is close behind, wearing an S&M t-shirt--although he's customized it so that it reads "S<M."

Spike notices that, apparently for the first time, and smacks Morty upside the head for it, before climbing into the ring.

The two giants stare each other down, and Spike trash-talks Show...

Show grabs Spike around the throat, trying to end it quickly, but Spike knees him back. He tries to scoop him up, but Show hammers him across the back, whipping him into the ropes and powerslamming him. Spike gets up and Show headbutts him, throwing him into the corner, and slaps him hard across the chest. He picks up Spike for a Fallaway Slam--but Spike counters with a reverse DDT!

Waters taunts Spike, who charges towards him... Show gets up, and Spike goes for a clothesline, but is caught and slammed to the mat. Morty mocks Spike, telling him to "get your ass up!" Show chokes Spike on the mat, pulling him up and throwing him into the corner. He goes for a Vader-ish Splash, but Spike gets the boot up, and rushes towards Show, Release German Suplexing him!! He reaches down, locking on the Hanging Mask, but Show quickly gets up, trying to break his grip--Spike rakes the eyes, and whips Show to the ropes and hits him with the Flesh Hammer!!

Spike the ropes, splashing on top of Show--getting a two count, but Show throws off Spike. Spike hits the ropes, going for a Kenka Kick, but Show catches, clotheslining him to the mat. Show wrenches the leg, and pulls up Spike, lifting him up in a Vertical Suplex and dropping him--shaking the whole ring!!

Show picks him up, about to drop him in a backbreaker, but Spike elbows free. He scoops and slams Big Show, and grabs him and pulls him up by the hair, setting up a Powerbomb!! He drops Show to the mat, covering with an arrogant smile... 1... 2..Kickout by Show!!

Spike gets up, and grabs Show as he gets up, attempting a belly to belly suplex--Show instead locks on a Bearhug, then hoists up Spike onto his shoulder, throwing him with a powerbomb variation against the nearby turnbuckle!!

David, Erik, and... Morty all mock Spike, who gets up looking pissed. He charges at Show, sidestepping a clothesline, and Full Nelson Slamming Big Show to the mat! As Show gets up, Spike dropkicks him, sending him over the top rope--but Show lands on his feet on the floor. Spike taunts Show, who begins to climb into the ring, and Spike hammers away on him as he does. He sets up Show, dropping him with a DDT. Show lays on the mat, and Spike gets ready to drop a leg--but Show KIPPUPS?!

Spike knocks Show back to the mat with a Kenka Kick, and picks him up again, Gorilla Pressing him in an amazing display of strength seen from hardly anyone human, but Show slugs him in the side of the head and upper back with his long arms, and he drops Show prematurely. Waters and O'Reily look worried, and Spike begins to set up the Iron Maiden, but Show powers Spike off him! As he gets up--Show grabs him by the throat, hoisting him up and dropping him with his famous chokeslam!!!

Show then heads for... the top rope?!

He climbs to the top, MOONSAULTING ONTO SPIKE!!--the Final Act!! And gets the ONE! TWO!! THREE!!

*ding, ding, ding*

Waters and O'Reily get in the ring to raise Show's hand, who then raised them up by their arms--and we fade to commercials...

**Commercial Break**

"Nobodies" by Marilyn Manson plays...then goes to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana...then back to "Nobodies"

?!

Kanyon: Something is definitely screwy here..

Pamela: Well, obviously...

The Girls of Goth make their way to the ring after being announced, and as the intros are made for the American Angels, "Medal" (with built-in "You Suck/What?" chants is played, before shifting to "Freedom Fighter" by Creed.

Backstage, we see some EAW security breaking into a production truck--where the Symbiote Squad is...

Kanyon: Those retarded, idiotic brain-munching...

Pamela: Ah-ha! I figured as much. I knew it all along!

Kanyon: Uh-huh. =P

Erica and Kirk get to the ring, trying to ignore all the commotion going on about the production screw ups, and climb the turnbuckles, posing, as the get ready to face down their opponents, Sin and Shade...

As the bell rings, Kirk pairs off with Shade and Erica pairs off with Sin. Kirk takes Shade down repeatedly, with a series of takedowns, and he suplexes her back-first to the turnbuckle, taking her legs out from under her and driving them to the mat. Erica uses a series of kicks to attack Sin, but Sin clotheslines her to the outside.

Kirk belly-to-belly's Shade, and sends her to the ropes. A side backbreaker attempt is blocked, and Shade takes Kirk by surprise with a headscissors. She follows up with a missile dropkick, and a swinging neckbreaker.

Back outside, Sin suplexes Erica onto the stairs, and gets a steel chair ready, attacking her knee with it, and throwing the chair in to Shade. Shade drives it into Kurt's upper back and shoulder blade, and sets it up, laying Kurt's head across it. She then does a springboard legdrop, collapsing the chair!

On the outside, Sin pulls the stairs apart, and is about to drop them onto Erica, but she quickly kippups and dropkicks them into Sin's face!! Grabbing the nearby ladder the Whisp used, she drives it down onto the back of Sin!

Shade pulls up Kirk, sending him into the corner, but Kirk ducks when she attempts a splash, launching her almost head-first into the ringpost!! He follows up with a drop-toe-hold onto the steel chair. He leans on the ropes, recovering some, but when Shade gets up--Kirk grabs her--belly to belly suplexing her over the top rope!! Shade grabs the top rope, though, and holding on, she suplexes him onto the ladder on the floor!!--although she doesn't notice at first also onto her sister!!

Erica pulls Sin out from under the ladder, making a cover for a two count.

Shade pulls up Kirk, inverted Atomic Dropping him, and attempting to bulldog him onto the ladder, but he blocks, and throws her back-first onto it instead!! He quickly rolls up the mat at ringside, and snap suplexes her onto it, getting a two!!

Erica picks up Sin on the outside of the ring, getting her up to her feet...but this proves to be not as good a move as expected, as Sin goes for a headbutt right to Erica's stomach...leaving her open enough for a DDT onto the floor...but taking enough out of Sin to prevent her from making the cover.

Kirk manages to get Shade up to her feet, and goes behind her, dropping her HARD with a bridging German Suplex, staying on for a pin, but only getting a 2 count.

Sin manages to get back up to her feet now...grabbing Erica and going to toss her into the ring...knocking her right in Kirk's way, causing him to trip over his sister onto his face. Sin then goes to check on her sister...just as two figures rush out from the back...the Tag Team Champions, Glenda and Akira. They both attack the weakened Girls of Goth...taking them down and out, dropping them hard onto the mat with twin powerslams. The Angels slowly start to get up to their feet...and get blasted with clotheslines by both Black Hearts. They then systematically destroy both teams...Glenda Jackknifes both members of the American Angels, and Akira hits both Girls of Goth with the Dangerous Queen Bomb. As their version of "Wild Thing" plays, the Black Hearts position the GoG and the Angels just right...before they both stand on the fallen teams...Glenda with both feet on the chests of each Angel...and Akira the same with the GoG...both holding up their tag title belts as the camera fades out to...

**Last Commercial!!!!! YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!**

Stone Cold Steve Austin paces back and forth in the backstage area as the cameras fade back in, to the erupting cheers (and some boos from those taken in by Code Red's earlier propaganda) as he waits for his match.

The Mushroom Kingdom's own Toad approaches, looking up to Austin as he comes up. "Mr. Austin...a moment of your time please?"

Austin flinches, looking down at the Mushroom Man. "GAWDAMMIT, AH'M NOT GONNA EAT ANY OF YA!!!!!" Austin blurts out, somewhat haggard. "Mikey was just tellin' ghost stories, dammit! Ah don't even LIKE mushrooms on mah pizza!" oO;

Toad blinks. "Er, this isn't about that. I'm here to get an interview...I'm an honorary EAW worker tonight..."

Austin stares down at him for a second. "..." He blinks. "Oh. Sorry. What c'n Ah do ya for?"

"Well...we saw you just now berate the nWo...specifically the leader David Flair...just now. Is this your way of retalliating for what happened to what David and Show did to Akiko earlier?" Toad asks.

Austin chuckles it off. "Ah was just tryin' to get underneath David's skin, that's all... it's not mah fault if he takes it the wrong--" He blinks. "Wait." He stares at Toad. "Show and David did somethin' to Akiko...?"

Toad blinks a bit. "You, didn't hear about it?"

Austin's eyes narrow. "Ah left fer the Mushroom Kingdom shortly after securin' Oseiko's help... Why... what happened...?"

"Um, well...let's show the video then..."

The video package starts...Big Show lifting Akiko up, then David smashing the cinder block over her head...the sit down taunt, then Big Show chokeslamming her into the metal chest...causing Akiko to writhe in pain...

Austin's jaw drops. "What." He starts to tremble. "What." He looks away from the screen for just a moment. "..."

"SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Austin reaches for the nearest object, conveniently a chair, and starts to smash the television that just aired that footage.

Toad eeps, running out of the way as not to get hit by anything...but stays to see what else happens...

Austin seethes. "This interview's over."

At that moment, Code Red Michael Connelly's music hits, and Austin glares toward the hallway. He heads to the curtain.

Toad just blinks at this. "Um...right..." is all that Toad can say as the camera fades off of him.

Michael begins to make his entrance just then, with David closely behind...

David is smirking, pulling a mic out from his jeans pocket...apparently having something to say....but waiting until Mikey gets into the ring.

Michael climbs into the ring, rushing up to one corner, beating his chest, and moonsaulting to the mat onto his feet.

David smirks, and as Mikey's music dies out..."Ladies and gentlemen...I know I am part of the New World Order...but I think it's time to introduce EAW's newest signee...and our guest timekeeper...CRIMSON MAX CONNELLY!"

"TNT" by AC/DC cues up over the speakers...and out comes the Crimson Soldier...all smiles.

Michael doesn't seem to thrilled about that, but ignores it as much as he can.

David smirks. "And here in the ring, is your NEXT World Heavyweight Champion here...the best of the best in this company today...the one..."

*KRAAAA-AAAASH!*

Austin stalks down the ramp, chair in hand, staring down David Flair, completely ignoring Connelly. He goes through none of his traditional pre-match ceremony. He simply walks straight to Flair, rears back with the chair, and blasts the nWo Leader over the skull!!!!

Michael looks surprised, backing away towards the far corner of the ring.

David is out cold from that chair shot...Max Connelly looks pissed off now.

Austin spits on David as the referee reluctantly calls for the bell. Then, with a cold glare, he raises the chair to smash David again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Before long, David is a bloody mess in the center of the ring.

Max is about to get up on the apron to get Austin to stop this....

Michael ducks out the ring, grabbing the chair, and trying to yank it from his hand.

Austin yanks the chair back from Michael and then shoves him roughly away. He then glares at Max giving him that "If you know what's best for ya, you'll mind yer own business" glare. He then drops the chair, mangled and bloodied, and hauls David up to his feet. With a swift motion, he Irish Whips the nWo Leader headfirst into the ringpost, and then tosses him into the ring to start stomping away at him some more.

Michael runs up on the apron, springboarding over and dropkicking Austin in the back, allowing David to crawl away, and as Austin begins to get up, hits him with a Crimson Tide, quickly hooking the leg...

Max pulls the pretty much decimated David Flair out of the ring.

Two!--KICKOUT!

Michael quickly gets up, drags Austin to the center on the ring, and stomps on his right knee as Kanyon questions where Oseiko might be...Pamela suggests she might be with Akiko...

Michael wrenches the knee, and pulls up Austin, throwing him into the corner, barraging him with chops, and throwing a spin kick to the right knee. A knee breaker continues the damage, and Michael chinlocks Austin. A mixed crowd cheers and jeers at Austin, who fights his way to his feet, and slings Michael into the ropes, back body dropping him.

Michael swings at Austin, but Austin blocks and slugs away at Michael, getting him on the ropes, then grabbing him by the hair and tossing him over the adjacent set of ropes. Michael tries to crawl away, but Austin out, and he quickly follows up by throwing Michael into the steel stairs, and stomping away at his chest, flipping him off, and throwing up the padding and suplexing him onto the concrete.

Max taunts Austin, and the distraction allows Michael to sneak up from behind, suplexing Austin onto a padded part of the ringside area as the count reaches 5.

Michael picks up Austin, Russian Leg Sweeping and sending the back of his neck into the ringpost, and picking him up again and ramming his right knee into the ringpost. He crawls into the ring, taking a bow as the count continues.

Austin crawls in before the 10, and Michael, shocked, tries to stomp away on the wounded Rattlesnake, using more kicks to the body of Austin, but Austin catches his leg, Dragon Screwing Michael. Michael gets up, charging at Austin, but his clothesline is ducked, he's whipped to the ropes, and powerslammed by Austin for a two count.

Austin Wishbone Stomps Michael, and chokes him on the mat, releasing at 4. He takes him down with a neckbreaker, and drops Michael across the middle rope, and leaps off the far ropes to Stungun him.

Austin DDTs Michael, getting another two count, and picks him up, whipping him to the ropes. Attempted Lou Thesz Press--CAUGHT in midair--and Michael uses a SPINEBUSTER to slam Austin into the mat!! He follows up with a spinning toe hold submission, attempting to make Austin submit. Austin struggles towards the nearest set of ropes, but Michael lets go before he can reach it and stomps at Austin's chest again.

Michael pulls him up, double underhooking him, but Austin kicks him to break the grip, and scoops and slams him to the mat. He drops the FU Elbow, and hooks the leg, but Michael kicks out at two. Austin gets back up, and as Michael gets up--Austin kicks him in the midsection, and hits the Stone Cold Stunner!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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...but Max puts Michael's foot on the bottom rope, and the referee breaks the count.

Austin cusses at the referee, and rushes out of the ring, chasing Max around it--but Michael lands on both of them with a plancha-like wheel kick before Austin can strike!!

Michael tosses Austin in the ring, hitting a swinging neckbreaker on the veteran, then, while still holding on, throws Austin behind him with a T-Bone Suplex!! Cover by Michael...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!!

Michael pulls Austin back up, attempting another suplex--Austin blocks, and Michael kicks him the weakened leg, but Austin knees him in the midsection, and bulldogs him in the center of the ring...but seems to be feeling the effects of the damage to his neck and knee...as Michael gets up, Austin whips him to the ropes, but Michael ducks the clothesline, GERMAN SUPLEXING beautifully, and Austin's head practically bounces off the mat from the impact, and Michael rolls through bridging his body off the canvas as his legs hold down Austin's to the mat.

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!!

Michael taunts Austin, slapping him in the face, and picks him up, scooping him up in an inverted belly to belly position, about to drive him to the mat with a Tombstone!!--But Austin shifts his weight backwards, and reverses the move--PILEDRIVING MICHAEL instead!!! Austin stomps on Michael as he's stuck on the mat, and picks him up for an Irish Whip--hitting the far ropes--but Max trips up Austin, giving Michael the opportunity to SPEAR AUSTIN!!

Surprised, Michael runs up the nearby turnbuckle, hitting a high angle moonsault that draws cheers from the crowd!! Michael hooks the leg...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THREE!

Capetta: Here is your winner, CODE RED MICHAAAAAEL COOOOOONNELLY!!!!!

Austin doesn't even seem fazed by this, he just rolls out of the ring, grabbing another chair, and stalking back after David.

Michael, rather than try to tangle with a pissed off Rattlesnake, opts to duck out of the ring and head out through the crowd...

But said Pissed off Rattlesnake seemed to forget about Mikey's alternate dimension double...who is waiting for Austin and slams the ring bell right into Austin's face.

Austin staggers, shaking off the stars in his vision JUST LONG enough for Max and Flair to make their escape.

With Austin wobbling...Max gets him up...and gives his version of the Condition Red, which he calls the Dead on Impact, to Austin...then helps up the finally recovering David Flair and gets him out of Dodge.

Suddenly "Learn To Crawl" cues up! The fans cheer wildly as the EAW Champion, Oseiko's music plays... but Oseiko is nowhere to be found! When suddenly, dropping down from the rafters on a rope is OSEIKO!! She lands on Max's shoulders and delivers a hurricarana to him!! Then quickly grabs his legs and applies the Kumo No Amimono!! Max taps to the hold, and Oseiko releases the hold and staring down at Max with anger in her eyes...

Austin gets up, and with a HARD stomp to the groin and kick in the ribs, he leaves Max laying as we go off air...

™ & © 2003 EAW, Inc.