EAW Riot Rulz for June 8th,2001!!!

Live from the PNE Coliseum in Vancouver, British Columbia , Canada !!

Before the show begins, we witness our usual pre-show opening sequence....featuring...

Triple Moonsault sequence from Steven Richards, Red "Rock" West, Scarlet; Sonnette in a bikini; Condition Red on a jobber; Split Second; Jericho Missile Dropkick; Sarah Murphy's Psiclone; the Sonic Boom; triple frankensteiner sequence; Pedigree; some one struggling in the Endless Hunger; William Regal getting on the Regal Stretch; Bret Hart with a top rope bulldog; Cecil Regal getting piledrived; Nash with the Sharpshot; Snapkick DDT on Cecil Regal from Blue Boy; Chainsaw putting Steven Richards through a glass table; T-Bone hitting the Ragnarock on Cecil Regal; Cecil Regal hit with a chairshot; Cecil Regal getting Belly-to-Belly Suplexed; Cecil's high school yearbook picture which has his fat face covered with zit; Cecil getting low blowed, Kane with the chokeslam on a jobber; Test with a high-flying elbow; RTC Man nailing the Stardust Press; Raven DDTing someone through a table while standing on it; Bob AHLTIMET DESTRAWCTION BAWMBING Cecil! TKO on Cecil; Edge of Extremity clip; bikini-clad beauties brawling on the beach, etc...

We cue to the PNE Coliseum where fireworks go off, and we see various signs from the fans..

"Cec's nuts roasting from a thrown fire..."

"Haku's hair stylist."

"BOB IZ DA FOOKING BAWB AZZHOLZ!!"

"In case of Steven Richards, break glass"

Styles: Welcome everyone, to tonight's edition of EAW Riot Rulz!!

Tazz: Damn straight. This heah's Joey Styles...and I'm TAZZ...here for special guest commentary. Joey...what's the 411?

Styles: Well, as everyone probably know by now, this past week Cecil Regal was FIRED from the EAW...quite literally.

Tazz: Heh-heh-heh...fire is cool.

Styles: Although Cecil's following tirade forced us to fire Cecil, we had to do it to Sabu as well..and..well...we have a clip.

Tazz: Roll'em, production dudes.

Cut to clip of Sabu and Cecil Regal brawling backstage...Sabu high knees Cecil in the crotch...rears back...and grabs something from a nearby table...Cecil heads towards Sabu, and Sabu tosses a bright ball of flame...at his genitalia...

Cecil: NOOOOO!! ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!

Cecil: *screaming like a little girl* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*stops, drops, and rolls....down a flight of stairs.*

Cecil: AHHHHH!! *thump* AHHHH!! *thump, thump, thump, thump* AHHHHH!! *thump* AHHHH!!

Styles: tsk, tsk, tsk.

Tazz: Too bad...can we see it again?

Styles: Sure! This time on slow motion!

Cecil: Noo..ooo...ooo....ooo!! Ahhh....hhhh...arrrrgh....!!

Tazz: Our slamma da week!

Styles: Well, to say the least, the vast majority of our roster was overjoyed to hear the news...

Tazz: Enough about him now...all we care to hear about him is that he's GONE! Now let's get to the show at hand here.

Styles: I couldn't agree more...

"The Unforgiven" by Metallica then cues up...

Styles: Our first match is going to be underway in a few minutes...but first...what exactly do we know about this guy coming out here...this Nagol?

Tazz: Not a whole hell of a lot...only that he's a damn impressive wrestler...but...he's a freakin' six foot hedgehog!! Like that Sonnette chick!

Styles: As far as we know, he isn't directly related to Sonnette, but supposedly they come from the same planet...

The cloaked Alexander Nagol comes out, Shintai in hand, as he's announced...

"Introducing first, from Mobius...he stands 6'1" and weighs in at two hundred and thirty five pounds...Alexander Nagol!!"

Styles: Quite a menancing figure to say the least...and we already know what Damian is capable of...was it an unwise choice to employ him here?

Tazz: Don't think so...you heard him yourself--all he wants to do is kick a little ass, and I can understand him there.

Styles: Alexander Nagol making his way to the ring...and the fans don't seem to really know what to make of this guy...

Tazz: Heh...he looks more like a pet than a wrestler...but don't tell him I said that. I wouldn't want to choke out any furries here.

Styles: Not really very expressive when he's out here, is he? His opponent will likely be quite a challenge--Ninja X!

"The Unforgiven" fades out...then "Blood Brother" plays as the pyro goes off.

"And his opponent, currently residing in Los Angeles, California...he stands six foot one and weighs in at an even two hundred pounds...he is NINJA X!!

The crowd cheers as Ninja X rushes out from the back, throwing a few punch-kick combos, ending with a spin kick.

Tazz: He was born Ninja Little in a small Japanese neighborhood...where they held the white bruthas DOWN!! He eventually said NO MORE! And decided he would no longer be oppressed by --

Styles: You could get more accurate accounts on this guy from ESPN...folks, don't by into Tazz's rather...unusual explanations.

Tazz: My sources tell me that Alex has not...repeat...HAS NOT...done porn.

Styles: Thanks you, Tazz...

Ninja X runs straight down to the ring, Jenna not anywhere in sight...

Extreme Rules Match
Alexander Nagol Vs. Ninja X

*ding, ding*

Styles: Looks like we're going to see an old-fashioned brawl to start things off....Nagol and X brutalizing each other with right hands....X sends Alex to the ropes...ducks the high leg lariat...X jumps over Alex's sweep...Alex backsteps the roundhouse from X...Alex ducks another high kick...grabs the leg of X--spins him around...waistlock....X retaliated with an elbow to the solar plexus...spin kick...blocked....X boosts himself over Alex...backdrop on the mat!!

Tazz: WHOA-HO-HO!! The atheleticism of deez guys is amazin'! But can they do a suplex like Tazz? I think not.

Styles: Alex getting back up...side headlock by Ninja X...Alex now--OOOOOooo...Atomic Drop on Ninja X! Alex now heading to the outside...dragging on Ninja X for the ride...taking this to the floor now.

Tazz: Maybe a mistake...Ninja X has great floor work.

Styles: Ummm...yeah...some knees into the midsection swinging the momentum into Alex's favor....IRISH WHIP!! *Crash!* INTO THE STEEL STEPS!! Alex charging in...low dropkick! X rolls out of the way! Standing Moonsault onto Alex!! Cover! One! No--the kickout!

Tazz: These guys're getting a little bit too close for comfort heah...

Styles: Indeed they are...X setting up Alex on the apron...pulls up the mats...hammering away now...up on top...OH MY GAAAHD!!! DDT FROM THE APRON TO THE FLOOR!!!! ONTO that EXPOSED CONCRETE!!

"E-A-Dub....E-A-Dub...E-A-Dub.."

Tazz: 'Scuse me if I get a bit bleary-eyed and nostalwart! *sniff*

Styles: Incredible move by Ninja X...but seems to be shaking off a bit of that impact as well...Ninja X and Alex up again...Ninja X with a front face lock...snap suplex....another! Two in a row! A third! Another DDT!! And could this be...

ONE!

TWO!--NEEEEEEOOOOOO!!!

Tazz: Alex better quit getting his tail kicking and start kicking some ass heah.

Styles: Painfully obvious observation..X pulling up him...elbow down into the back--LOW BLOW from Alex!! Cheap but legal here!! Whips him into--our table! X up...Alex now--HITS THE FLAME LINE!! Almost decapitates Ninja X in the process...X up on this table, and you got to know Alex has evil intentions in store for this situation.

Tazz: Evil's all a matter of perspective, Styles...uh-oh...he's grabbin' that sword...could be chop suey time on the vanilla ninja!

Styles: The blunt end of that Shintai--X rolls out of the way..now out in front of us...tug of war over it...X flipping up onto the the table...double front dropkick into the face of Alex!! X unsheathing the Shintai...hops off the table...Alex ducking...but--X on the attack with that sword!! And...sheaths it back...

Alex's shirt then drops off into three pieces.

Tazz: WHOOOOA!! That's some fancy sh*t there!

Styles: Ninja X IS trained in various forms of ninjitsu...wait...spinning--no--rotates around--SIDE KICK into Ninja X...the Shintai falling free--Alex catches it...takes a swipe!! Oooo....

Tazz: There goes X's tanktop...is this a hardcore match or a weird form of strip pokah?

Styles: The blunt end of the Shintai into the midsection of X....snap suplex of his own by Nagol...double arm lock...takes him over with another suplex! Shades of Gangrel on that one!!

Tazz: Shouldn't say "blunt" when Wolf is in the building...he could come out heah any second.

Styles: X charging in...Alex tosses him up--X dropped jaw first atop the apron!! Alex setting him up..NOO!!...NOO!!....HIGH ANGLE BACKDROP OFF THE APRON *crunch* THROUGH OUR ANNOUNCE--

The commentary is cut off as it seems that some equipment was damaged from the bump. Alex shakes himself off then jumps on Ninja X, going for the pinfall

ONE!

TWO!--Kickout!

Alex gets up...pulls up Ninja X...Atomic drop position...CROTCHES him on the steel!! He then quickly hops up and hurracanranas him into the crowd!! The cameras follow as best they can, and Ninja X puts on a series of arm drags then goes for a dragon sleeper, dropping the back of Nagol's neck onto his knee as he tries to get Nagol to give. Nagol does his best to bridge his way back up, and twists around, hitting a release Northern Lights Suplex!

Nogal gets up slowly, and pulls up X, ramming him headfirst into a nearby snack table for the camera crew, then irish whipping him, but X reverses, and sends Nagol into a steel door head-first! He then scoops up Nagol, taking him to a nearby popcorn stand. He snapmares Nagol up onto it, and gets up on top himself, nails the X-Ploiter, and goes for the pin...

One!

TWO!

NO!

The two roll off the remains of the cart and have a breather before getting back up...They brawl their way towards the backstage area again, Ninja X throwing Nagol through the door, then goes for a running legdrop but Nagol gets his foot up and catches X in the groin. Nagol then kippups, and pulls up X, locking on a Chicken Wing sleeper hold on X as he struggles to free himself.

Ninja X runs backwards into the wall, but Nagol holds on...another attempt...Nagol still latched on tight.

Ninja X slightly repositions himself...mule kicks Nagol in the groin, then hits a running bulldop onto the carpeted but still hard floor. He then hops to the other side of Nagol, running and bouncing on Nagol up onto a table, then springing off and landing onto Nagol with a moonsault!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT by Nagol!

Nagol gets up...shoves X stomach first into the table, then whips him into the wall...a backdrop attempt onto the table is blocked...Ninja X goes for a jawbreaker, but is shoved headfirst into the wall again. Nagol spins around, and is able to hook Ninja X into a crucifix hold position, holds him up over his head...CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!!

Nagol pins the legs back for the pinfall...

One!

TWO!

Ninja X kicks out!

Nagol takes the broken table piece and busts it over the back of X, then yanks a fire extinguisher from the wall, ramming him into the midsection with it, then hammers on him a bit more...pulls him up...short arm Flam Line!

Nagol drags him to some stairs....suplexing him onto them, than ramming his head into them. X kippups and hits Nagol with a series of kicks, but a high knee to the groin leaves X staggered....Alex backs away...runs towards X...hits the SUPER FAST UNEXPECTED ENDING!! Using the stairs for leverage, he pins him for the

One!

TWO!

THREE!!

"The winner of this matchup...by pinfall....Alexander Nagol!!!"

"The Unforgiven" by Metallica plays as the referee lifts Nagol's hand, but he jerks it away, and heads off before we fade to break...

**Commercial Break**

We come back to a shot of Styles and Tazz behind a newly set up announce table, replacing their headphones...

Styles: Well...we're back, fans! And we have all our audio problems taken care of.

Tazz: New table, too! I think that X and Nagol can't tell an Italian from a Mexican...we weren't the Spanish announcers!!

Styles: Well...certainly not, but we were the closest, so we were the lucky ones to get a few wrestlers dumped in our laps...

Tazz: *rubs hands* Speakin' of which..I wouldn't mind these next two to be in my lap...

Styles: Well, before we get to that...let's show you something that our cameras caught that occured during the commercial break...

Haku is seen walking down the hallway, as he practices a few basic martial arts punches...

Haku: Hussah!....Hooo...

When he rounds a corner and is jumped by Steven Richards and RTC Man! Richards nails him in the back with a steel chair, then RTC Man attacks him with right hands. Both faze him slightly, but RTC Man holds Haku, and allows Steven to nail the Morality Check up under the chin of Haku!

Haku goes down hard, but sits up, and Steven blasts him over the head with the steel chair again, then RTC Man pins down his arms...Richards slams the steel chair down onto the right hand of Haku...once...twice...making him growl angerly...then down into the other one. Steven repeats this a few times before Haku throws RTC Man off of him, getting up and chasing after the two of them....Steven and RTC Man bail, quickly...

Styles: Clearly the RTC will go to any lengths to secure advancing in the tag team tournament...

Tazz: Whatcha call that there, Joey...is smart. The RTC know what to do..and they know they gotta stop that death grip. Much like guys who have taken out Tazz know my hands are my weapons...

Styles: Yes...lethal in so many ways...but up next, a much lighter note as we'll get to see two lovely ladies duke it out...

Tazz: And you'll probably hear Styles' voice go ultra-high pitched and scream
"CAAAAAAAAAAAAATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!"

Styles: Well, believe it or not, this will be a bonafide wrestling match, with two very talented women wrestlers...

Tazz: Heh...yeah...I'm sure all deez guys out here are gonna be looking longly at the right and admiring their WRESTLING SKILLS...grow up, Joey.

"Sin" by Nine Inch Nails cues up suddenly, prompting quite a reception from most of the males as Jenna, wearing her Playboy bunny/nurse/schoolgirl outfit, walks out doing a little dancing..

"*whistle, hoot, cheer*"

"Introducing first...currently residing in Los Angeles, California...she stands five-foot-nine and weighs one hundred...and forty four pounds....Jenna, of the Da Pac!!

Tazz: Hello, noi-sah, good mornin' Miss Jenna and what's up, doc?! This is precisely the kinda thing that happens when you let broads dress themselves...they just can't make up their minds. Not that I'm complainin' mind ya.

Styles: Well...this odd combination of outfits the result of indecisiveness on the part of Jenna AND the fans...and this is the result...

Tazz: DAMN...baby, look at those legs!!

Styles: Never let it be said that Jenna doesn't care for her fans...

Tazz: Or the ringside announcers, eh Joey? *nudge*

Styles: Well, we just happen to be lucky enough to be here...Jenna stepping into the ring...

Tazz: WHOA-HO!

Styles: Now...just need to wait for..

"Sin" fades out, before "Angel" by Aerosmith cues up automatically after...

"And her opponent, from St. Louis Missouri,..standing five foot five and weighing in at one hundred...twenty three pounds...Mandy LePew."

Mandy comes out in her Asrial-Samantha cosplay look...

Tazz: Man-o-man...whatta difference...dis the same girl?

Styles: Well, most of that is actually the host...the girl behind the costume, a woman named Samantha.

Tazz: And what a fine set of wrestling skills she has to admire...heh. Kinda looks like a chick-knight.

Styles: Well, the choice was theirs to dress as they like...

A similar reaction arises from the crowd, although this outfit is much less revealing than Jenna's. Mandy walks down to the ring waving to the fans, before climbing inside and "Angel" fades out.

Styles: These two woman are very skilled...very talented, and knowledgable about what to do in that ring..

Tazz: Besides looking very very hot and very--

Styles: Hey, leave that schtick to Lilith!

Tazz: Whoa...geez...just making some obserbances.

Styles: Like I was saying, these ARE pros...but you'll be seeing more impressive action here than, say, GLOW or WOW.

Tazz: Maybe so...but what wouldn't you give to be in one of those locker rooms...

Dress As You Like Match
Jenna Vs. Mandy LePew

*ding, ding*

Styles: Jenna and Mandy starting this contest off now...surprisingly rather seriously...collar and elbow tie up...headlock takedown by Jenna...Mandy bridges up...wristlock..goes for an armwringer...Jenna reverses and puts one of her own on...drop toe hold by Jenna. Jenna hops on her back...locking on a chinlock of some sort...Mandy getting up...SNAPmares her over! Jenna now--Oooo...backbreaker from Mandy! Jenna favoring the lower back...sent to the ropes by Mandy...Jenna back--FLYING CLOTHESLINE!!

Tazz: Whoa...and man she got the distance on that. I guess all the air in that head makes her quite a bit lighter.

Styles: Jenna and Mandy up...swing and a miss by Jenna...Mandy hooks her!! HEAD AND SUPLEX by Mandy!!

Tazz: SUplex? NO...that was a TAZZplex...she's been watchin' me wrestle, styles...and that was a BEAUTIFUL move! *clap*

Styles: Mandy going for a cover

One!

Oh, and a kickout!

Tazz: Dunno who to root for.

Styles: Mandy has Jenna up....chop across the chest...another...Jenna with a boot to the stomach...pulls that cape over the head of Mandy...dropkick to the chest!! Mandy up...another, on target! Mandy sent to the ropes...Jenna monkey flips her over....Mandy lands on her feet. Jenna turns around...Mandy in...back body dro--no, Monkey flip by Mandy...

One!

Reveral..Jenna with the pin now

One!

heels click together...Mandy escapes...both of them kippup...Jenna with a thrust kick...ducked by Mandy...Irish whip....Mandy now...Face crusher by Mandy! Jenna dazed as he gets up...Mandy dumps her over the top. She takes a breather..but Jenna has grabbed the top rope with both hands!! Flips up onto the apron...Mandy turns around...SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE by Jenna! Mandy knocked now...Jenna to the corner...SECOND ROPE MOONSAULT onto Mandy!

One!

Tw-no, kickout by Mandy!

Tazz: Either of these two would be perfect broads for Super Crazy...

Styles: A similar high-flying style?

Tazz: No, because then he could get his green cahd.

Styles: Jenna pulls up Mandy...snap mares her over. Rear chinlock applied again...keeping her as close to the mat as possible...odd how Jenna would want to ground her when Jenna herself has had the high-flying offense so far.

Tazz: Jenna got that hold locked on tight, but I'm sure half the guys in here at least would kill to be in between 'em.

Styles: Jenna now....drops a knee into the back while still holding on to that chinlock...Mandy fighting her way back up to a vertical base. While Jenna isn't the biggest girl around, she has the height advantage in this one, and is rather tall in her own right.

Tazz: Bigger than you, Styles.

Styles: And the same height as you, actually...

Tazz: HEY!

Styles: Mandy with a pair of elbows into the midsection of Jenna...sends Jenna into the ropes...telegraph from Mandy allows Jenna to catch her...DDT coming up...NO...Northern Lig--NO, Swinging neckbreaker from Jenna!!

Tazz: That's using your head, hunny-bunny...now finish her!

Styles: Jenna hooks the leg...

One!

TWO!--NO, only a two! Jenna pulls up Mandy...snap suplex...now a floatover for a

One!

TWO--another two count!

Tazz: Gonna take somethin' more than that...something big...nasty...and I don't mean Paul Wight.

Styles: Although that would probably work just as well...Jenna pulls up Mandy again...Mandy with a neckbreaker surprises her!! Jenna back up...dropkicked back down to the mat! Up again....Inverted Atomic Drop from Mandy!! Now a SIDEWALK SLAM coming up...YES!! Center of the ring...great power move from Mandy!

One!

TWO!--Noooo...kickout by Jenna!

Tazz: Now your getting it...keep it up...damn...I never thought it would be dis much fun to watch two girls pound the snot outta each udda.

Styles: Mandy now up on the top...Jenna up slowly...Mandy with a dropkick--ON TARGET!! Jenna down on the mat...again...Mandy now looking to follow up...Skunksault--oooo...NO...slips on the second rope and ends up crotching herself.

Tazz: That can't feel good, even if you are a woman.

Styles: Jenna has the opportunity to recover now...getting up...Mandy pulling herself out of that predicament...Jenna with a spinning heel kick!! Mandy out and...NOOO!!!

Tazz: Hoooooly...got her head caught between the ropes!!

Styles: This is the same way Cactus Jack lost an ear once...Mandy struggling to free herself...baseball slide from Jenna! And she does!...landing outside...Jenna moving in...Mandy grabs the ankles of Jenna...pulls her and makes her smack the back of her head on the mat!

Tazz: Jenna should have just took advantage, and pounded on her.

Styles: Jenna kinda popped her loose like a cork from a bottle...and Jenna rolled back in by Mandy...but Jenna had some recovery time...Mandy up on the apron--headbutt from Jenna!! Setting her up now....SUPLEX into the ring!! NO! Mandy landing on her feet...shoves Jenna into the ropes...rolls her up off it...

One!

TWO--kickout...breaking out of the move how..ducks a clothesline by Mandy...back around...THRUST KICK!! That one connects! Hops over...STANDING MOONSAULT by Jenna!

One!

TWO

Kickout!

Tazz: Should have gone for some more punishment rather than trying to get the pinfall too early.

Styles: More elbows from Mandy as she makes her way up...boot from Jenna...setting her up...PILEDRIVER POSITION--No, back body drop by Mandy! Jenna up...spinning back kick right into the chest by Mandy...Jenna on the ropes....Irish Whip....Jenna into the corner...aaaaaand....Mandy going for...YES!! Backflip Handspring Elbow!!! Shades of the Great Sasuke on that one! Perfect opportunity now...YES, another Face Crusher!! That could be in!

One!

TWO!

NO!!! Near fall again!

Tazz: These broads are fightin' like there was a JC Penny shopping spree on the line.

Styles: Mandy confidentally heading up top again...signalling for the Swanton......Jenna shakes on the middle rope and AH! This isn't a good day for Mandy, I don't think...

Tazz: Unless she's wanted to get intimate with these ropes. Damn...I envy those ropes.

Styles: Jenna has the perfect opportunity to superplex Mandy..and that looks like what she's going to do....or rather....1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...aaaaaaaand 10! Jenna grabs her by the hair...flips her over the top...and Mandy lying in quite a precarious position.

Tazz: You know what this means....

Styles: Jenna signalling for it...going in...BRONCO BUSTER on Mandy!! Jenna takes control firmly with this move....now climbing up...pulls up Mandy...snapmare coming up...blocked! Sleeper by Mandy applied! Jenna fighting it...slips behind...applies a sleeper on Mandy!! Mandy charges backward! Jenna in the corner now! Mandy backs away...charges in..monkey flip out of the corner on Jenna!! Mandy now charging in...running Swanton Flip onto the chest of Jenna!

One!

Two!

NO!

Tazz: Come on, babes!

Styles: This is down to the wire...Mandy pulling up Jenna...set up....69 Facebuster by Jenna!!! That could be it!!

Tazz: Man...she should have just tried to choke her out there!

Styles: Jenna up top...this is a big risk...SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! Connects with it!!

One!

TWO!

THREE!!

*ding, ding*

"Sin" by Nine Inch Nails then cues up...

"The winner of this match, by pinfall..JENNA!!"

Styles: And Jenna takes it!! She's been on quite a roll as of late.

Tazz: If there's an award for best ring attire of the year...she won't get it. But DEFINITELY would win for most unique.

Styles: Well...we're only partway through the night...we still have YET ANOTHER brutal Extreme Rules match..an International Title defense...and the next match in the tag team tournament...stay with us!

**Commercial Break**

Styles: It looks as if it's time for the second Extreme match of the night, as two ECW alumni, Raven and Nova will battle it out.

Tazz: This is sure to be a good match, but I don't know if it can top the first Extreme match, as that was a incredible one.

Styles: It may have been, but now it's time for Raven versue Nova.

"Supercharger Heaven" by White Zombie cues up, as Raven (with extreme "goodies") comes out to a mild pop from the crowd.

Styles: Raven is becoming quite a favorite in EAW fans, but--

"One Man Army" by Prodigy hits as former EAW Extreme Champion and Cusierweight Champion, Nova, stands on the ramp getting a huge response from the crowd.

Styles: --.. before I was so rudely cut off, Nova is a bit more popular.

Tazz: True, but if you've noticed Raven has brought weapons as Nova has none.

Styles: Point.. but this match is off!

*ding, ding, ding*

Extreme Rules Match
Nova Vs. Raven

St! yles: This thing has begun, and Nova and Raven lock up, and Nova getting the advantage as he sends Raven to the ropes, and a flying forearm shot from Nova!

Tazz: Good move, but Novy needs to follow up, but Raven cuts him off with a gutshot to Novy. Raven rushing at Nova, but he counters with a headscissors takedown!

Styles: This thing can go either way, and Nova picks up a cookie sheet...

*CRACK!*

Styles: Nova using the first weapon in this match, and he rams that metal plate into the gut of Raven!

Tazz: He drops the weapon, and going for the Sledge-O-Matic--

Styles: Raven reverses with a hurricanrana! Unlikely move by Raven, but effective.

Tazz: Now, Raven measuring Nova.. KNEE LIFT!

Styles: But, Nova caught the knee and a dragon leg screw! He doesn't let go, and another screw!

Tazz: Good counter by Nova, and now he's beating Raven with that chair! Shots across the back, now to the head!

*WHAM!*

Tazz: That shot sent Raven over the ropes! !

Styles: Nova looking to captalize on Raven.. body press, REVERSED!

Tazz: Raven turned it into a facebuster type move, and totally caught Nova off guard! Raven tosses Nova on top of our announce table, and he ascending upward!

Styles: Well, actually he went as far as the apron.. this could be Mick Foley's trademark manuver...

Raven takes flight in the air, and attempts a flying elbow drop, but Nova moves out of the way.

Styles: Nova moves! But, the table take that force of Raven, and is still standing.

Tazz: Thankfully, Raven didn't overshoot the table, and land in our lap. Nova almost was just anotha victim!

Styles: That he been, but he moved, and now he's fighting with Raven on top of the Spanish announce table! Nova getting the upperhand.. he's hooking Raven up.. and Novacaine off the Spanish announce table to the floor! First pinfall of the night!

One!

Two!

Thr--Kickout!

Tazz: Novy almost had Raven dere, but Raven got his shoulder up at the last possible second.

Styles: Nova is now stepping up those steel steps, and it looks like he intends to use them! Nova stepping back.. running start, the leap in the air, OH MY GOD!! RAVEN GOT HIM WITH A SPEAR IN MID-AIR!!

Tazz: AND, Nova's head bounced off those steps. He could very well be out, and have an concussion.

Scenes of the move are replayed again.

Styles: Raven with a pin!

One!

Two!

KICKOUT!! Barely, barely, barely. I think Nova is seriously hurt, Tazz.

Tazz: Yeah, if you noticed there's a big gash on the back of his head, but he's still going on! That is what being an EAW superstar is all about, right dere.

Styles: Raven rolls Nova back into the ring, and he's continuing the punishment! Drop toe hold onto a chair! Raven sending Nova into the corner, now.. and props him onto the turnbuckle. Whatever Raven is planning, it doesn't look good for Nova. Raven on the top with Nova.. MY GOD!! EVENFLOW DDT FROM THE TOP ROPE ONTO A COOKIE SHEET!!

Tazz: Itz has to ova, now! And, der's the cover!

One!

Two!

Three!

Styles: NO!! So, close Tazz, but no cigar!

Tazz: Huh? I don't see Monica Lewisky, anywhere! HAHAHAHAHA!!

Styles: *sighs* This has been a very fast paced match, but now Raven is looking under the ring.. and finds a ladder! The crowd is getting into this match, now! Raven slides the ladder into the ring, and steps onto the apron. Nova up to his feet.. kick to the gut from Raven. Sunset flip-- WAIT!! NOVA HIM FOR... THE KRYPTONITE KRUNCH!! NOVA HITS IT!!

Tazz: What a counter.. first time that has ever been done! Only by the inNOVAtor!!

Styles: True, Tazz.. but why isn't Nova pinning Raven? He's set up that ladder, and he's going up top! Nova perched on top.. Raven on his feet... Off the top!! OH MY GOD!! RAVEN CATCHES HIM MIDAIR WITH THE EVENFLOW!!!

"Holy Shit, Holy Shit, Holy Shit!!" and "EC-Dubbya! EC-Dubbya! EC-Dubbya!" are heard all throughout the arena.

Styles: Raven drapes an arm over Nova.. PIN!

One!

Two!

Three!! Raven wins!

Tazz: Damn...talk about an awesome reception...that was a bomb caught by Raven and spiked for the victory!!

Winner by pinfall >>> Raven

"Supercharger Heaven" by White Zombie cues up as Raven's hand is raised...

Styles: One hell of an amazing match...and Nova and Raven shaking hands! But this isn't all we have left...International Title Match! Next!

**Commercial Break**

Styles: Welcome back as we now are set for IN Championship match.

Tazz: This was supposed to be a handicap match, but when Cecil got fired, the Regal Regime's chances of winning their first title slimmed.

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and a 30 minute time limit. And it is for the EAW International Championship...

William Regal's theme cues up as William Regal, along with DJ PC Plodder, makes his way to the ring with the fans booing him.

"Introducing first... The Challenger. Accompanied to the ring by PC Plodder... From Blackpool, England, weighing in at 245 lbs. WILLIAM REE-GAL!!"

Styles: Tonight is William Regal's chance to get some gold into the regime.

Tazz: Regal has

Regal walks onto the apron and wipes his feet. Then he walks through the ropes. His theme fades out...

"Of Wolf and Man" cues up as Colley Dogstar makes his way to the ring to a decent pop, with the IN title around his waist.

"And his opponent... From Los Angeles, CA. Weighing in at 247 lbs. The EAW International Champion... "BIG YIFFY" COLLEY DOGSTAR."

Styles: Colley seems not to be that focused in the match, tonight.

Tazz: Hey, he's facing Regal tonight. I mean how many singles wins does he have? One. He has to be the biggest jobber since Duane Gill.

As Colley Dogstar goes up on the steps, "Full Nelson" cues up.

Styles: What the hell?

Tazz: That music can only mean one thing...

The Blue Boy, sans Jasmin and the blue Saturn walks out to the crowd.

Styles: Blue Boy is here tonight, but what's his purpose?

Tazz: After what they did to Jazzie a while back, he probably wants some payback.

Styles: Blue's now comming towards us.

Blue Boy makes his way to the announcer's table.

BB: -to be here. Am I on?

Tazz: Yeah you're on. You're just in time for some British ass-whipping.

BB: I was just hanging out in the back, and when I heard that Regal had a title shot. I'd just had to come see Regal try to win it. Anyways, onto his bro. Cheeri-o, old chap. You lost your shot, possibly your balls, and your career. HAHA.

Tazz: That was funny, wasn't it?

BB: I've sent it to "America's Funniest Home Videos" and one $10,000 bucks.

Styles: Anyways, Regal starts to attack Colley as the match gets underway.

*ding ding*

Styles: Regal and Colley going at it. Regal with a suplex on Colley. Regal now gives him punches from the crouched position. Regal going for the pinfall...One...TWO-NO Kick out.

Tazz: Regal shoudda know betta than to go for the pin that early.

BB: Regal would do anything to win this match. Now Regal's pasty ass picks up Colley. Going for a piledriver-YES, Colley Counters. BEAT HIS ASS, COLLEY.

Styles: Encouraging words from Blue. Colley hits Regal with a chop...

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Styles: And another...

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Styles: Ana another...

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Tazz: Regal's sure is gettin' his ass handed to him tonite.

BB: Thanks to his Pillsbury doughboy-like skin, his chest gets red every time he gets chopped.

Styles: Colley Irish Whips Regal to the corner... Colley mounts on top of Regal....

"ONE"

"TWO"

"THREE"

"FOUR"

"FIVE"

"SIX"

"SEVEN"

"EIGHT"

"NINE"

Colley howls as the crowd cheers...

"TEN".

Styles: Regal falls face first to the ground.

Tazz: Heh, Regal's takin a nap.

Styles: Colley grabs Regal. Get's him in position... Could be... YES, Piledriver.

Tazz: Boo ya.

Styles: Colley going for the pin. ONE... TWO-NO, only two.

BB: Damn it. Come on, Colley.

Styles: Colley Irish whips Regal... Regal reverses... POWERSLAM. Regal going for an armbar attempt... This could be it.

Tazz: Don't count on it.

Styles: Colley going for the ropes... can he make it? Yes, he gets his hand on the ropes!!!

Tazz: And Regal almost had it.

Styles: Regal releases the hold... now proceeds to stomp away on Colley. Regal turns him around... proceeds to choke Colley.

BB: Needing to cheat to win, eh.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Styles: The ref now ordering Regal to let go of the hold. Regal now putting the hold back on.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Styles: The ref now breaks the hold. Regal not looking really happy.

BB: Quit your bitchin', Regal. Just try harder and you might win.

Styles: A bit of pep talk from Double-B. Regal now picks up Colley. This could be it... SPIFFING SLAM.

Tazz: Regal might actually win this.

Styles: He goes for the pin...

ONE

.

.

.

TWO

.

.

3/4 of a 3 count.

BB: Come on, Regal. You can win this-NOT.

Styles: Regal puts Colley in a sleeper... Colley in trouble here...

BB: Come on, Colley. Come on.

Styles: The referee raises Colley's hand or paw, whichever you prefer...

"ONE..."

Styles: If Colley hand falls three times, it's over.

Tazz: This could be the biggest upset in EAW history.

"TWO..."

BB: NO, come on.

Styles: The ref raises Colley's hand and...WAIT, COLLEY'S FIGHTING HIS WAY OUT OF IT.

BB: YES!!

Styles: Colley with the elbows to the mid section of Regal. Colley Irish Whips him... EVENFLOW DDT

BB: Shades of Raven.

Styles: Colley with the cover...

ONE...

.

.

.

TWO...

.

.

.

TH-NO... Colley had the nearfall.

BB: DAMN IT.

Styles: Colley picking Regal up...DAMN IT, LOW BLOW.

Tazz: You gotta admit that it aways works, Styles.

Styles: Regal sets him up... going for a pile...No. Colley backdrops him on the ref.

Tazz: And 'nocked him out. Wadda dumbass.

Styles: Colley drags him to the middle of the ring. This could be it... THE CANO'S ELBOW

Tazz: Shades of the Rock.

Styles: Colley runs to one side... then the other...

*wham*

Styles: DAMN IT, PLODDER WITH THE NIGHTSTICK SHOT TO THE FACE.

BB: All while the ref's out. Damn that fatass.

Styles: The ref, now slowly reviving. Regal picking up Colley.

Tazz: Look's like Regal's gonna steal this one.

Styles: Regal irish whips Colley to the corner. This could be it, his new second rope tombstone finisher... "The Shroom"

Tazz: Obviously, Regal's had to many if he came up with that name of the move.

Styles: Regal now going for it, and he hits it. The referee, slowly reviving... Regal now goes for the pin, putting his feet on the ropes for more elevation...

ONE

.

.

.

TWO

.

.

.

THREE!!

Styles: REGAL HAS DONE IT. REGAL'S THE NEW IN CHAMP!!!

BB: NOOO! I JUST CAN'T BELIVE IT!

"The winner of this match... and NEW EAW INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION... WILLLIAM REGAL.

William Regal's theme plays as William and PC Plodder are celebrating. Then...

"WAIT JUST A *bleep!*-ING MINUTE HERE."

Suddenly, Rash, wearing a suit and carring some type of book, makes his way out to the ring.

Styles: What the hell is Rash doing here?

BB: Beat's me?

Tazz: Don't even thinking 'bout askin' me.

Rash: First of all, congrats Mr. Regal on winning the IN title. You have finally gotten some gold in your little group. But you know... the way you won it, kinda... well... impressed and interested us. The style, the technique, the craft. We, as well as everyone, including the referee, would like to see that footage again. ROLL IT, SMOKEY.

Styles: It looks like Rash is turning the tables on the Regime.

The footage of Regal "winning" the IN title is now shown.

Rash: Oh, how original Regal. The old "Get the fatass to hit the Manachan with the nightstick and then Shroom him and use the ropes to win the title," eh? Now we know that we may not be bright, but isn't that against the rules. *William tries to speak* Let us answer that for you, YES IT *bleep!*-ing was. It says here in this rulebook. Rule #24 says that no wrestler is to use the ropes to assist pinning. And Rule #23 says that non wrestlers paticipating in this match. Which includes, Managers, Valets, and even Wrestler's Mommies. And while we're on it, Rule #13 states that no weapon is to be uses, unless stated otherwise. Ohhhhhhh, that's three rules you've violated. So that means, not only does it mean that you have NOT won the match. But it also means that,*changes voice to the Fink's* "the winner, of this match, as a result of a disqualification, and STILL THE EAW IN CHAMP, 'BIG YIFFY' COLLEY DOGSTAR."

The crowd cheers as Regal gets a besmirched look on his face.

BB: So close, and yet so far, huh Willy?

Rash: We know what you're saying right now, Billy... *changes voice to Regal's*"What bloody right do you have here, Rash, you ignoramous manachan?" Well, as a competitor, we always like to keep things... in the, you know, "Intrest of fairness". But since we're a softy, we're going to request the ref to restart this match. So Ref, before we eat your brain... RESTART THIS DAMN MATCH, PRONTO. GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY.

"Ladies and gentlemen, at the referee's decision... This match...WILL CONTINUE!!!"

Tazz: The old Dusty Rhodes finish rides again.

Styles: Where did Rash get that much athority?

Tazz: He doesn't. The ref probably was scared of him.

Styles: Regal runs over to attack Colley as the match restarts.

*ding ding*

Styles: Regal and Colley trading blows. Kick to the groin by Colley. Colley now sets him up... This could be it.

BB: It's over.

Styles: 1ST IMPACT...

.

.

.

2ND IMPACT...

.

.

BB: Yeah, just one more!

Styles: YES, THE THIRD IMPACT!! Colley goes for the cover...

ONE...

.

.

.

TWO...

.

.

.

THREE!!!

Styles: COLLEY RETAINS!!! COLLEY RETAINS!!!

BB: And Regal's having a fit.

Tazz: AHAHAHAHAHAHA

"The winner of this match, AND STILL EAW INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION... 'BIG YIFFY' COLLEY DOGSTAR!"

"Of Wolf and Man" cues up as Colley's hand his raised.

Styles: Regal was so close into winning the title, but his plan backfired, miserably.

Tazz: Thanks to everyone's favorite symbiote.

Styles: We'll be right back for our tag match to see who'll advance in the tournament.

*commercial*

The Right to Censor theme is blaring full blast...making an unapprecitive crowd cover their ears, as we come back from break...

Tazz: Augh...damnit, Styles! Can't we just turn down the volume or something?

Styles: The RTC..*ouch* want you to know when they're in the building. I'm actually hoping some little kid somewhere gets a seizure from this so we can force these guys to change themes...

*ding, ding* "The following tag team matchup...scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining, is part of the Tag Title Tournament. Introducing first....at a combined weight of X + 230 pounds...Steven Richards and Right to Censor Man...the Right...to...Censor!"

Tazz: Whenever this damn theme plays, dogs and cats gotta serenade.

Styles: The Right to Censor with a clear objective to capture the tag team titles, and their attack on Haku may have been just the way to get that done...

RTC Man and Steven get in the ring, Steven wearing his singlet on this rare occasion, RTC Man in his full-body suit. "Am I Evil" by Metallica then cues up...

Tazz: Well, they got quite a task to duhfeat dee most lit-rit team in the whole E-A-Dub--Haku and Bob.

Styles: Well, Black Widow isn't the only EAW wrestler with a music career on the side...it seems Haku is working his way into that field as well...his "hit" single, however, has been called everything from "innate and stupid even when TRANSLATED to English...," "Haku has a voice that makes you want to destroy your own eardrum with an ice pick," and "worse than Yanni." This hasn't dissuaded Puff D--er, P. Diddy, from expressing interest in doing a duet with Haku on his next album.

Tazz: He is da bomb, I'll tell ya..

"And their opponents...at a combined weight of six hundred and thirty six...Haku, and 'The Man they call BOOOOOOB!"

Styles: Bob's recieved quite a response here in his first month or so in the EAW...although his mic skills, to be honest, leave something to be desired. Hell...what am I talking about, they flat out SUCK!

Tazz: Just needs a good catchphrase...like..."beat me if you can, survive my interviews if I let you."

Both of the super heavyweights get into the ring, waiting on the bell....the ref signals...

Tag Team Tournament Match
RTC (Steven Richards and RTC Man) Vs. The Committee (Haku and The Man They Call Bob)

*ding, ding*

Styles: We've got Bob and RTC Man in the ring to kick things off...locking up in the center of the center of the ring--RTC Man shoved down on his back! Back up...ran over with a clothesline! Turned inside out! Shakes it off...getting back up....Bob with some chops to the chest....sends RTC Man to the ropes....POWERSLAM off the ropes! Whips him into the corner....!

Tazz: Smart...already tryin' to isolate 'em.

Styles: Charging clothesline into the corner....HITS! RTC Man dazed...Haku bending down--Bob slams RTC Man head first into Haku's head!!

Tazz: Heh-heh...I think that probably barely fazed Haku.

Styles: RTC Man being stomped on in the corner....tag to Haku, quickly. Haku coming in.

Tazz: The true star of the team, if ya ask me.

Styles: Wellllll...Haku sends RTC Man to the ropes....Samoan Drop--reverse!! Crucifix pin by RTC Man!

One!

Kickout!

Tazz: TONGAN Drop, Joey!

Styles: RTC Man trying to score a quick pinfall...rushing over to the corner....up top....Haku getting up...Cross Body from the top!

One!

Kickout again by Haku!

Tazz: Attacking early and often...good idea. I wouldn't try to headbutt him though.

Styles: RTC Man up...waiting on Haku...Haku up...going for the headscissors...unable to take Haku over--picking him up!...drops him down face first onto the mat! Now--follows up with a headbutt down into the shoulders! RTC Man rolling over...another one down into the midsection!

Tazz: That's like havin' a foreign object on ya...that hard head of Haku...but some of that hair probably acts like padding.

Styles: Well, it would protect less than you'd think...Haku pulling him up...headbutt on RTC Man! Yanks him up again....irish whip....hard chop coming--no! RTC Man puts on the brakes! Grabs the arm of Haku...arm wringer! Ducks a clothesline from the other arm...dropkick from RTC Man....knocks him off balance...has that arm of Haku...arm bender! Haku down on his knees...RTC Man slamming that arm down into the mat...up on the second rope-STOMPS ON THE FINGERS OF HAKU!

Tazz: OOooooo...well, he can recover from that...but will he be able to play the piano again?

Styles: Tag to Steven....RTC Man applying a sitting reverse armbar....Steven up to the top...Axehandle smash off the top down across the upper back of Haku! RTC Man back out onto the apron. Steven continuing RTC Man's work on the hand of Haku...stomping on it again! Haku fighting back now! Up on his feet! Grabs Steven around the throat..tosses him into the corner! Haku lighting up Steven with right hands! Irish whips him to the opposite corner...chest first! Steven stumbling backwards...Haku nailing Steven in the kidneys! Now...atomic drop! Steven down on all fours...Haku hammering him across the back...Rolls him over...

One!

Kickout by Steven!

Tazz: Steven betta be made like a Timex to take this kind kind of punishment.

Styles: Steven sent to the ropes...Haku telegraphs...Steven going for a sunset flip! Trying to get the big man ov--scratch that.

Tazz: Oooo...I bet Steven's glad those tights are black, because that'll squeeze it out of you like toothpaste from a tube.

Styles: All three hundred plus pounds of Haku crashed down on the chest of Steven there...getting up...hammering on Steven while he has him in this prone position...RTC Man up on the top...SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICK on Haku! RTC Man coming to the rescue of Steven....Haku up...the RTC double teaming him now...double suplex coming up...Haku up aaaaaaaand down!! They pull it off...Haku up...clotheslining both Steven and RTC Man! Haku now with a chokehold on each of them!!

Tazz: That isn't the Tongan Death Grip Joey, but it's pretty damn effective anyways.

Styles: Haku letting go before the 5 count...but putting the hold right back out...and RTC Man needs to get out before the RTC get disqualified...he rolls out towards the outside, but leaving his partner in bad shape.

Tazz: Right you are...Haku, a big strong powerhouse, just squeezing the life outta ya....I've seen him crumble rocks into sand with those hands.

Styles: Haku making the tag to Bob...letting him get in on the fun as it were. And there are quite a few EAW superstars who would love to be doing this themselves...beating the hell out of the RTC.

Tazz: Right you are, Joey. The fans HATE these guys, and frankly I don't blame 'em.

Styles: Bob the fresh man in...pulling up Steven...shoulder into the chest of Steven....again...side headlock by Bob...Steven seems to be trying to tell Bob something...

Tazz: Huh?

Styles: Bob bending over...and...retying one of his boot laces?

Tazz: What the?

Styles: Steven slipping free! Roll up on Bob! Steven has the tights!

One!

TWO!

NO! Kickout by Bob! Steven almost scored a huge upset there!

Tazz: HAHA... *commercial*