Kanyon: Yo! WHO BEDDA THAN KANYON AND PAMELA PAULSHOCK! And WHAT BEDDA THAN EAW RIOT RULZ?!! We're coming to ya live at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Gee Ayy! And Pamela, we got ourselves on hell of a show tonight!!
Pamela: I WAS ON X-FILES!!! ^.^
Kanyon: ... Uhm... yeah, you were... a cameo wasn't it?
Pamela: Yes! ^_^ I was on X-Files and I was so wonderful in it! The Rock who?! Hah! I'm a much better actor than the People's Chump! And I look much hotter than him, too! ~.^
Kanyon: Well, I don't know about that... he got his own movie. Did you?
Pamela: ... Well... I could get my own movie! Just wait! Chris Carter and I are gonna work on a script! My character in the X-Files will be big!! ^_^
Kanyon: Eeeee-yah. Let's just get to the ring, 'kay?
"Conflict" cues up, and the fans begin to boo as Nova, dressed in his Venom-ish attire (signalling his anti-heroic stance), steps out to the ring, looking to the fans... smirking, then walks down to the ring.
Pamela: And here comes the TRUE super-hero of the EAW! Better than the Hurricane! Better than Eighteen! Better than Blink! He's NOVA!!
Kanyon: Super-shiller Pamela Paulshock, ladies and gents.
Pamela: Can't help that it's true, Chris. ^_^
Nova jumps into the ring, then walks over to announcer Gary Michael Cappetta, telling him to say some things, handing him a card to boot.
Kanyon: Ohkay, what's this about?
Pamela: Dunno... =/
"Conflict" fades out, then Cappetta speaks.
Cappetta: Ladies and gentlemen, I've been notified by Nova to introduce his opponent, Fasha, as "a vandal and a damager of private property!"
Kanyon: What?
Pamela: Hahaha!! It's true!! Fasha DID trash Paul Heyman's car, Kanyon! She channeled Triple H and totalled it!!
Kanyon: Well, I suppose that's true, but it was Fasha's way of challenging Brock Lesnar! Her way of making a lasting impression in the EAW!
Pamela: By committing a crime?! Yeesh, who does she think she is? Steve Austin?! >=/
"Butterfly (Extreme Mix)" cues up suddenly. Fasha steps out to the crowd, glaring daggers at the smug Nova, then walks down the aisle, pointing at him angrily before adjusting her padded gloves.
Kanyon: This tournament of Crysta's already turned personal here! And--
Scene switch of Crysta herself, watching the match begin to unfold on a closed-circuit TV in the dressing room, smiling a little as she watches Fasha.
Kanyon: ... And there's the holder of the tournament herself! Crysta seems to favor Fasha here in this match already, Pamela!
Pamela: Does it matter? I say Nova beats the crap of monkey girl!
Kanyon: Well, both competitors are in the ring already! Referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell! Let's do it!
Kanyon: Fasha and Nova locks up.. whoa, Nova trying to grab Fasha's tail! Fasha avoids it-- SCOOP SLAM by Fasha! Grabs Nova up-- WHOA! NOW he's got it! TRIPPED BY NOVA! Now-- he's trying to hog-tie Fasha with her own tail?! o_O
Pamela: NOVA'S SET TO APPREHEND THE CRIMINAL THAT'S FASHA!!!
Kanyon: Yeah, but the way Fasha's screaming--! OH, FASHA KICKS NOVA AWAY-- WHOA!! RIGHT OUT OF THE RING!!! An awesome show of power from Fasha! And Fasha checks her tail... seeing if it's okay, then wraps it back around her waist as Nova climbs back into the ring... Nova with a kick--NO, FASHA CATCHES IT! KICK TO THE GUT! GRABS HIS LEG-- SHIN BREAKER!! AMAZING STRENGTH FROM THIS WOMAN! Nova rolls to his feet, getting angry... charges Fasha and-- WHOA, POWERSLAM BY FASHA!! Pin! ONE T--NO, just a one count!
Pamela: Go, Nova! Don't let that criminal win!!
Kanyon: Fasha crouches down... waits-- SPINNING HEEL KICK BY FASHA! Nova's slow to get up... and Fasha grabs his leg... looks like-- REVERSE DEATH LOCK!!! LOOK AT HER APPLY THAT PRESSURE TO NOVA'S LEG!! OH, BUT NOVA GRABS THE ROPE! Fasha breaks the hold... Fasha's showing some impressive wrestling savvy here tonight!
Pamela: Heh... yeah, I guess. For a cuuuurrrrrrrrriminal. >=/
Kanyon: Fasha picks Nova up-- WHOA, NOVA WIT A SNAPMARE TAKING FASHA BY SURPRISE! Nova lies in wait... grabs Fasha--NO, FASHA DUCKS AND-- HURRICARANA BY FASHA!! NOVA ROLLS TO HIS FEET! KICK TO FASHA'S GUT! AND-- SIDE NECK BUSTER!
Pamela: FINALLY!! SHOW THAT CUUUURRRIMINAL WHO'S BOSS, NOVA!
Kanyon: Pin by NOVA! One! T-NO, Fasha kicks out! Nova just smirks and-- OHHH, HE JUST GRABBED FASHA'S TAIL AND STOMPED ON IT!!! FASHA'S-- God, Fasha's screaming like Nova hacked off a limb!
Pamela: Her tail seems pretty sensitive! o_O;
Kanyon: Fasha manages to roll to her feet... Nova with a punch--NO, FASHA BLOCKS! COUNTERPUNCH! AND FASHA THROWS NOVA ONTO THE MAT!!! Fasha stumbles to the corner, holding her tail... getting a bit angry at Nova here... she charges Nova-- GUILLOTINE STRIKES!! DOWN GOES NOVA! Fasha gestures the thumb across her throat... goes for the pin! One! T-NO, STILL a one count!
Pamela: Nova's too powerful!! Go! Nova! For everlasting peace!!
Kanyon: Will you stop?! Nova rolls to his feet and Fasha charges-- OH, NOVA WITH A CLOTHESLINE SENDING FASHA DOWN! Nova picks Fasha up... I think he's going to finish her off-- NO, FASHA PUSHES HIM BACK! GRABS HIM-- WHOA!!! STO-LOCK!!! WOW, WHAT A MOVE!!!! SHE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN TIGHT AND IT LOOKS LIKE NOVA'S GOING TO SLEEP NOW!!
Pamela: NO!!! NOVA, NOO!!!
Kanyon: Hebner's checking his free arm... if it drops three times it's over!
1......
2......
TH--NO! NOVA GETS THE ARM UP!!! HE'S STILL IN THIS FIGHT!! And he... OH, PUNCH TO THE BACK OF FASHA'S HEAD BREAKS THE HOLD! Fasha steps back... NOVA GRABS-- ARM DRAG!! FASHA COUNTERS! MULE KICK!!! Nova rolls up!! Grabs Fasha-- SLAMS HER TO THE MAT!!! Nova grabs her up, kicks her for good measure and sinches her up.. SUPLEX!!! Nova senses victory it seems... grabs Fasha up and-- DDT! Nova picks her up again... shouts something at her, then sets her up... SEATED MICHINOKU DRIVER!!! PIN! ONE! TWO! NO! Just a two-count!! Nova looks a little upset... oh, come on, leave her tail alone-- AGHH!! HE JUST YANKED ON FASHA'S TAIL!!! God, Fasha looks like she's going into shock!!!
Pamela: ... Yeah... wow, that... may not be good... =/
Kanyon: Nova picks Fasha up-- WHOA! STO FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!!!! Fasha... man, Fasha's pissed! Grabs Nova... OHH, MULTIPLE KNEE STRIKES INTO NOVA'S SHOULDERS! SHE'S CALLS IT FURY'S RAIN! And... wow, she's REALLY laying it onto Nova there!!! Fasha steps back, favoring her tail... then... looks like she's adjusting her arm pad... CLOTHESLINE--NO! NOVA COUNTERS! KICK TO THE GUT AND-- OHHH!!!!!!
Kanyon: KRYPTONITE CRUNCH!!! OHHH, IT'S OVER!!! NOVA WITH THE PIN! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!!! FASHA WITH A SHOULDER UP!!!!
Pamela: O_O! NO WAY!!!
Kanyon: Nova can't believe it!!! He's pissed now! NOW IT'S... RAINING PUNCHES DOWN ON FASHA'S FACE!!! Hebner pushes Nova off of her-- OH, NOVA SHOVES HEBNER BACK! Turns around-- AND EATS A DESPERATION MOVE IN FASHA'S MULE KICK!!! Nova rolls up to his feet, holding his chest... charges in-- BACK SHOULDER TOSS BY FASHA AND NOVA GOES FLYING!!! Nova rolls back up, holding his back in pain! Fasha grabs him and-- REVERSE STO!!!!
Pamela: O_O! NO!! THAT WAS THE NOVACAINE!!! FASHA STOLE THAT MOVE FROM NOVA!!! CUURRRRRRIMINAL!!!!
Kanyon: Fasha picks Nova up... now she's screaming at Nova!
"LEAVE MY F*bleep!*ING TAIL ALONE!! LEAVE IT ALONE, YOU SON OF A B*bleep!*!"
Kanyon: Whoo, well we know how she feels about the tail abuse now... Fasha arm wrench-- OHH!, HOOK KICK BY FASHA!!! Fasha grabs No-- NO, NOVA KICKS FASHA AWAY! SPINNING HEEL KICK SENDS FASHA BACK DOWN! Nova smirks... oh, COME ON! ENOUGH WITH THE TAIL TORTURE!! OHH, HE TWISTS IT!!! Fasha's screaming in pain! Fasha-- OH, weak attempt of a kick by her... Nova just smiles, picking her up-- WHOA!!! FRANCHISER FROM OUT OF NOWHERE BY FASHA!!!! ANOTHER DESPERATION MOVE!!! Fasha hugs her tail... then just collapses on top of Nova! One! Two! Th-NO! Nova kicks out!!
Pamela: Well, it wasn't much of a cover... ^^
Kanyon: Fasha staggers to her feet... tears are visibly on her face, I... I think this is the first time her tail's been attacked in this fashion! She grabs Nova and whips him to the corner... and she locks in the HANGMAN'S SLEEPER!!! Hebner issuing the four count... Fasha breaks it in time!
Pamela: Such an illegal move for a cuuuuurrrrrrrriminal!
Kanyon: Nova staggers out.. Fasha goes for a tie-up--NO!! NOVA WITH THE NOVACAINE!!!
Pamela: FINALLY! The Novacaine, HAS COME BACK! To Nova!!
Kanyon: ... *ahem* Nova with the pin! ONE! TWO! THREE!! NO! TWO AND 99/100s!!! WOW!!! THAT WAS SO, SO CLOSE!!!! NOVA DOESN'T BELIEVE IT!!! Now-- OH, COME ON!!! HE'S JUST STOMPING ON THAT TAIL NOW!!! FASHA'S WHAILING IN PAIN!! Nova picks her up... KRYPTONITE CRUNCH COMING UP!!! AND IT CONNECTS!! NOVA COVERS! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!!?! FASHA STILL KICKS OUT!!! WHERE DOES THIS GIRL GET IT?!!
Pamela: It's pissing Nova off more though! MORE STOMPS TO THE TAIL!!!!
Kanyon: GOD!!! Fasha's eyes are rolling in the back of her head!!! This is evil!!! Nova picks her up... oh, no... not ANOTHER one-- KRYPTONITE KRUNCH!!! God help Fasha, it's GOTTA be over now!!! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!?!?!?
Pamela: ... Okay, there's just such a thing as TOO MUCH SPUNK!!
Kanyon: Nova's livid!! He picks Fasha up and whips her to the corner-- NO! FASHA COUNTERS! AND--OH, THE REF JUST GOT FLATTENED BY NOVA ACCIDENTALLY! Fasha kicks Nova in the gut and-- !!!
Pamela: NOO!!!
Kanyon: Fasha VERY slowly gets up... but the ref is out cold and... NO!!! NOO!! DAMMIT!!
Pamela: YES!!!! DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE BROCK IS COOKIN'?!!
Kanyon: BROCK LESNAR JUST CAME OUT FROM THE CROWD AND GRABS THE WEAKENED FASHA!!! SPIRAL POWERBOMB!!!! AAGHH!!!! BROCK SLIDES OUT OF THE RING AND HEADS BACK THROUGH THE CROWD!!! Nova... oh, God, Nova's VERY slowly crawling onto Fasha... the ref's coming to... no, not like this!! NOT LIKE THIS!!!
1 . . . . . .
2 . . . . . .
THR-- NO!!!! MY GOD!!!!!! FASHA JUST BARELY GOT A SHOULDER UP!!!! NOVA CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! Nova staggers to his feet... Fasha slowly gets up too... Nova grabs Fasha...Kryptonite Krunch-- no... oh, dear God, he's climbing to the top rope!! AND--AAGHHH!!! TOP ROPE KRYPTONITE KRUNCH!!!!!!!! And now... ohh, come on!!! HE'S GOT THE TIGHTS AND HER TAIL!! 1... 2... 3!!!! DAMMIT!!
Pamela: YES!! JUSTICE PREVAILS AGAIN!!!!! ^_^
Kanyon: More like INjustice!! If it weren't for that monster Brock Lesnar!! Fasha was screwed!!
Pamela: Well, she DID bring it onto herself! And the ref can't call what he can't see! So guess who advances in the tournament?! ^_^
Winner: Nova
Kanyon: A heartbreaking loss for Fasha's official debut match in the EAW, but she certainly gave it her all! Odds are she has a definate future as a major competitor here in the EAW!
Scene switch to Crysta as she sighs sadly, shaking her head.
Crysta: ... Darnit... Nova advanced... poor Fasha...
She looks at a clipboard and crosses out Fasha's name, moving Nova up.
Crysta: ... Molly Vs. Eighteen next... I hope Eighteen wins...
***
***
We cut back to the announce desk...
Kanyon: Hey everyone, we're back...and for our SECOND match of the night..well...it's gonna be a killer one--an AAA Rules match featuring "The Digimortal" Eighteen against Mighty Molly--the winner to face NOVA on Mayhem for Crysta's managerial services.
Pamela: And I hope that's all...she's not some total tramp like Terri, I hope...
Kanyon: Not that I know of...of course, if Molly were to win the whole thing, it wouldn't exactly happen anyway...although I wouldn't put it past Nova. He's pretty sure he's going to win the whole thing...
Pamela: He got past Fasha easily--anyway, where's this supposed to take place again?
Kanyon: A desert isle in the Pacific...and this was decided upon recently, so we had to scramble to get it set up, fortunately we have a new robotic referee--with NEW hover capability--able to call the action. However, over the break I was informed that it won't be a battle to a pinfall...but...to a KO.
Pamela: Well, so much for Molly's chances...
Kanyon: I think it'll certainly make things more exciting--and...here we go! Take it away...
We cut to a feed from a set of flying cameras over the fight location, with Eighteen and Molly across the battlefield from each other. This island is much less nice than the one we say recently...with only a few palms to be seen among the rocky interior.
Which is good, since it'll get f***ed up anyway...
The two get near to each other, as the robotic referee's chestplate opens, and a ring bell rings...he moves out of the way as the match begins...
Molly transforms to Pink Metal Mode just before the bell rings, and Eighteen dashes at her--judo throw sends her over Molly, and landing behind--spin kick caught--CLOTHESLINE by Molly! Then into a Dragon Screw. Eighteen up in a flash, and she decks Molly with lightning-quick punches that make a metallic sound (think of when fighting Dural, VF fans).
Molly attempts to block some of them, but clearly Eighteen is MUCH faster, and proves it by flitting about around Molly, decking her in various points...then hoisting her up by her cape...twirling her around her in a circle--then tossing her AGAINST a (now-dormant) volcano that rests at the middle of the island--going through one side...
...
...
and BACK OUT that SAME one! Molly kicks Eighteen in the chest---seemingly her leg STRETCHING like a pool of mercury (or like T1000) to accomplish it. Molly peppers her with punches of her own, and grabs her from behind...SUPLEXING her to the ground and dropping her down HARD on her back.
Eighteen is still very much conscious, and kippups, and leaps out of the whole the impact created, nailing Molly with a HARD right hand that smacks her into a small clearing of palm trees (the little bit of vegetation on the island). The force causes many of them to topple over like bowling pins, and Molly looks a little worse from wear from it...
Yet, she shakes it off and gets back up...stretching and seeming a little pained...
Eighteen doesn't seem too discouraged...a small smirk on her usually unchanging face (as if Gero told her a smile would make her faceplace crack).
The two collide head on...with...ironically the age-old test of strength, which Eighteen seems to win at first--Molly comes back--but Eighteen cranks it up--Molly dives between Eighteen's legs, while stretching her arms a bit, and traps Eighteen...she kicks Eighteen, sending her backwards like a stone in a slingshot, then a dropkick to the face catches her as she snaps back--and Molly releases her grip...sending Eighteen into the drink (which would finish many lesser mechanized devices right there)...
Eighteen bursts from the shore, riding atop a whirlpool she's created herself, crashing against the beach and pulling Molly into it--spitting her out at the top and tossing her back onto the beach on a pile of timber knocked over earlier. Eighteen comes at her with a diving punch--Molly moves aside behind a tall, still standing palm tree.
Eighteen then swings her hand downward and CHOPS at the tree (which sadly, puts a Flair chop to shame...), and a few seconds later the tree slides from the base of it in a slanted slice...landing on the sand. Eighteen goes after Molly with a similar chop--blocked when Molly kicks her just above the wrist...stunning the Digimortal--then hits her with a high kick across the face, knocking her aside. Molly then picks up the tree...charges at Eighteen as she gets up, and RAMS it into her midsection...sandwiching her against another tree...Eighteen pushes it away from her--kicking it to smack it away from her and taking the top off of it. She then yanks the other tree from the ground, and the two dual with the large trees...Eighteen seems a bit more adept at first--but then Molly comes back, smacking her in the knees--then the back as she doubles over. Eighteen then slides it under her, flinging her up in the air--then...
IT'S OUTTA THERE!!!
Molly hits a homerun with the android, sending her flying...going...going...gone?
For about 10 seconds it seems so...the referee seems unsure how to call it--but then...flying BACK at high speed comes Eighteen!! The friction from the speed has lit both ends of the tree ablaze, and Eighteen smacks her away a good 30 feet with her flaming giant baton. She then tosses it at her like a javelin--the tree splitting in half on contact, and each half driven into the sand, pinning Molly to the beach.
Eighteen flies overhead, holding up one finger (no, not that one), and seemingly concentrating a great deal of energy on the tip...it makes a screeching sound, and Eighteen tosses it at where Molly is trapped---
...
...
Blasting a HUGE hole in the island!!
The island lurches as is sinks a little lower into the ocean...but...from the edge of the hole...a soggy but still conscious Mighty Molly appears, who shakes the water from herself...then flies up to where Eighteen is hovering...UPPERCUT!! And Eighteen's head snaps back--Kick to the midsection smacks her away...and Molly charges after her--MID AIR GORE!! Eighteen and Molly continue a fight of fists and feet in midair--with Eighteen gaining an advantage by grabbing both Molly's fists, then FRONT DROPKICKING her into the chest...but she simply snaps back--Eighteen with a HEADBUTT to Molly, clanging from the impact, and Eighteen scoops up Molly and holds her by the neck...and flies up...high...high...HIGH into the air...
And plunges earthward...
T.S.F. from about 300 feet in the air!!
The impact at first tilts the island towards the impact point...but then...like a clump of dirt and sandstone, it gives way...the island develops cracks in it as ANOTHER hole is burst through the island, kicking up dirt and rocks all around the point of impact...
.
.
.
.
As the camera feed returns to normal...jammed a bit from all the debris flying, we see not one island, but several smaller ones...much of the original has sunk to the bottom...
We see Molly's hand reach over onto a floating palm tree...grabbing hold...
As she's laid over top it, and Eighteen pops her head up from the ocean, grabbing hold herself, though Molly seems to be out of it...
The robotic referee, still intact thanks to his forcefield, checks on the pair as he hovers above the water...and renders a decision...
Back in the arena...
Capetta: The winner of the match, via KO...and 2nd finalist in the tournament..."The Digimortal" Eighteen!!
Kanyon: INCREDIBLE...and...Eighteen seems to be giving her a pill of some sort...no...a...bean?!
Pamela: With a backside like that, I would NOT want to be around her at a chili cookoff--WHA?! She came to!
Kanyon: Must be one of the zenza beans that Akiko was talking about earlier...hmm...I could've used those things when I was wrestling--well, we'll be back with a tag team bout after this break, stay with us!
**Commercial Break**
As we come back from break...
"Bitch" By Merideth Brooks cues up in the arena...and out from the entryway comes Kelly Connelly...in her red business suit...walking sexilly as she comes out.
Kanyon: WHOA--it looks like good looks runs in the Connelly family...too bad personality doesn't.
Pamela: And what exactly is wrong with her in that regard?
Kanyon: She's a...well, for cryin' out loud it's her THEME, Pam...she seems pretty proud of the fact.
Pamela: Okay, maybe she is a LITTLE bit...
Kelly gets into the ring, smiling. "Hello everyone! Yes, I hear your catcalls boys...but I'm not like a WWF Girl...I'm only for David."
Kanyon: First Daffney, then Stacey, 'den the GoG, then her--how DOES that sawed-off little runt get all the hot babes?
Pamela: Talent, personality, good looks...
Kanyon: HAHAHAHA!! Good one, Pam.
Kelly: But anyway...down to business. Now, as you know, last night a travesty occurred in the match with Bret Hart...as my beloved David lost his referee's license here. It was a very sad day indeed...
Kanyon: Yeah...we REALLY feel for ya. Well, we feel something for ya, but mainly in the physical sense.
Pamela: ...I'm definitely not looking under the desk.
Kanyon: *holding his hands over his head* Just joking!
Kelly: ...HOWEVER...there is some good news coming from this. You see...David was prepared just in case something unjust like this happened with his referee's license...and guess what? (she smiles...taking off her business shirt...revealing a referee striped bra)I'M now the official referee for David Flair and Generation NEXT!
Kanyon: ...This is terrible.
Pamela: Yeah, I know--vertical black and white stripes are DEFINITELY not her.
Kanyon: I meant the part about her being a referee. Do they include ref licenses in boxes of Lucky Charms now?
Kelly: And I will use my skills to be the BEST referee in this company! (she puts the blouse back on)Now...onto other matters. Like that lying, coniving, scheming...SLUT! You all know who I mean...I mean Megan Eko!
Kanyon: Actually, I thought you meant Pamela here.
Pamela: HEY!
Kelly: Megan, you actually expect us to BELIEVE that bullshit story about some sister of yours trying to make you look bad? PUH-LEEZE! You probably just used sweet, innocent Maxie Eko there to take the rap for you so the truth wouldn't be uncovered. It's ashame that you're afraid to admit who you TRUELY are.
Kanyon: WHAT?! Oh man, she's just shoveling it now.
Pamela: What--you believe Megan?
Kanyon: Yes, of course...since when is Kelly trustworthy anyway?
Pamela: Since forever.
Kanyon: Argh...
Kelly: Megan, if you were so truthful and SO believed your convictions about not being what MANY people know you are, then you wouldn't mind going up against your truely to defend them. But that's the thing...you're AFRAID of being revealed for what you are. Hell, it may be perhaps that you have a crush on me...I dunno.
Kanyon: Ooooh...damnit, if I weren't sitting right here I'd be hitting the mute button.
Pamela: I think the same thing whenever you're talking...
"Yeah, I fantasize about crushing that fat head of yours, you ignorant, stuck-up, self-serving, selfish, conniving, thieving, cheating...ARRRRRGH!" Megan says, coming out onto the stage with no theme, but a microphone in hand, clenching her teeth as she tries to contain herself.
Kelly blinks in surprise at first, but smiles, turning to face the stage. "Well well well, speak of the devil herself." she says with a smile. "What...you wanted to come out here to try to once again deny the truth, Meggie?"
"In your teeny tiny little mind, that's what you'd interpret it as, but it's fact. And coming out of the mouth of something who would actually..." Megan turns away to gag, "...with David Flair...yeesh, talk about hypocritical.
Kanyon: Damn right. Unless rosacea has become sexy all of a sudden.
"Ah...but that's something you're forgetting." she states. "Remember...I ADMIT that I'm going with David...the sexy beast that he is. You, however...hide the truth, trying to be pure like Molly...when you're more like...Lilith in that matter."
"I have no time to whore around, you two-faced tramp. I have work not only at the commentators table but in other aspects of running the EAW. It's not even the main part of my job, although it's the most visible one. I'm used to dealing with matters with my brains, not brawn. Besides, why hog up TV time that could be used for wrestlers wrestling? Not two non-wrestling females fighting. I don't think the fans want that."
Kelly rolls her eyes. "People...do you all want to see Megan Eko and myself get it on in a match?" she asks them, holding out a mic to the crowd for their reaction.
The crowd roars an affirmitive on that.
Kanyon: I'd call that a "yes."
Pamela: I actually agree...
Megan sighs, "Really now...I can't believe I'm being challenged by some half-witted barbie doll who seems to have so much self-confidence in herself she thinks she's unstoppable. Everyone knows you Gen-NEXT trash can't fight your battles alone. Even if I agreed, we'd likely see your idiot boyfriend or that slug Big Show lumber down to the ring to screw it up."
Kelly sighs. "Fine...how about putting a cage around all entry points...to keep Gen NEXT members...including my handsome boyfriend, from getting involved?"
"You have a handsome boyfriend too? I thought it was just David--I figured you weren't monogonous," Megan quips.
"I MEANT David, you two timing, carpet munching and dick sucking skank!" Kelly says angrilly.
"No, no, and no...you've imagined me doing those things I take it? What perverse fantasies you have," Megan teases, firing up the crowd as she seems to be getting to Kelly.
Kanyon: Hehehehe...
Kelly is about to say something, but stops. "Uh uh uh...you're not getting me to do something to have the crowd negatively chant at me...like Angel unfortunately was. Let's just stay on track with business, shall we? Will you or will you not accept the match?" she simply states, tapping her foot and looking at her watch. "I'm waiting."
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking--yeesh--have you ever heard of too much red? You look like two french fries stuck together and dipped in ketchup," Megan says, continuing to mock her.
Kelly sighs. "Mikey wears all this red and you don't say anything to him. Besides...David says red is sexy on me....and that's all I care about." she says, smiling.
"He actually wears mostly black to even it out--but at any rate, sure...if it'll get you to shut up already. So you got your match--next show, because I don't think LG is going to turn the request down. So maybe now you can turn yourself around and get the hell out of the ring so we can get on with the show?
Kanyon: Or just...fight now! Rrrrrrrrrowr!!
Pamela: Pervert. =P
Kelly smirks. "Fine by me. By the time I'm finished with you...you'll be BEGGING to confess that you truely are a slut...I'll see you then, Megsy." With that, she starts to go to get out of the ring, slowly.
"Wait a second--what did you say?" Megan says.
"Losing your hearing? Fine...I said "Fine by me. By the time I'm finished with you...you'll be BEGGING to confess that you truely are a slut...'"
"I wasn't talking to you--fans, anything in that sentence jump out at you?" Megan asks, and the crowd responds seconds later with "Kelly's a slut! Kelly's a slut" chants.
Kelly blinks...and almost Stephanie McMahon screams at them. "I AM NOT! I only have ONE guy...where as MEGAN there has probably about 5 waiting for her!"
Megan smirks, "One, thank you, and I haven't even done anything yet. You know...you gave me an idea, in your own roundabout way. Instead of a normal match...we'll still fight each other, but to win, the loser has to yell out 'I'm a slut.' Since you probably already yell out variations of that to David every night, maybe to his father, maybe to the guy in the 3rd row in an nWo t-shirt--I should be a cinch to win."
The "slut" chants get louder.
Kelly glares at Megan. "Fine. When all is said and done...I'll prove MY convictions...and I'll make sure EVERYONE knows what you truely are. Because I'm not a slut...I'm just...well, the song will tell ya." she says, smiling...as her entrance theme starts playing up again.
"True...but you have about 10,000 people in this arena, calling you a..."
"SLUT!! SLUT!! SLUT!!"
Kelly glares...and motions something to the audio worker...who turns up the volume on her theme to try to drown out the Slut chants.
"DAMN, THAT SONG IS TERRIBLE...WELL, SEE...YOU...on Mayhem..." Megan says, walking casually to the back.
Kelly smiles...and walks off after Megan's gone.
Kanyon: I'll be damned...Megan...in an EAW ring...fighting?!
Pamela: Yup! For the first, and LAST time, that is.
Kanyon: Well, up next we have another match featuring some lovely ladies. FOUR of them in fact. That makes 8 coconut!
Pamela: Hooboy..
Kanyon: Nevermind. :P Anyway, with one female from each team going into the Holy Wars match later on tonight, this could get very interesting...although if Aki's bean thing works, then this match'll be a moot point--frankly, I think the idea's kinda crazy myself.
Pamela: You saw Molly and Eighteen fight early and you're ready to doubt anything? O_O Yeesh...quite the skeptic.
"Ride On A Shooting Star" by the Pillows cues up...
Capetta: The following Tag Team Match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 252 pounds, the team of MRPW Public Access Champion Akiko Nakano and the EAW Extreme Champion, Oseiko Bloodgrave-Connelly--KYOUKI SHOUJO!!!
Kanyon: And the "Girls of the Wild Joy" set to have their first tag match together in nearly two months--and against a team that has yet to pair up in the EAW yet. It seems Akiko and Oseiko are getting the lion's share of crowd support, here. And Michael in the back cheering them on.
Pamela: He's in the building?! Good thing I wore boots tonight...and they're STAYING on.
Kanyon: Posing on the turnbuckles, and warming up a little bit...and it turns out that the team they're facing went through a last-minute name change...
"Across the Nation" by The Union Underground then plays overtop of "Ride.." as it fades from our ears.
Capetta: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 239 pounds...Lexay Too Sexay and Arianna, SUPPLY AND DEMAND!!
Pamela: O_O I thought they ditched that name? ...Wait a second...I don't even get the name.
Kanyon: Probably an inside joke. And both ladies looking quite fine tonight, even if their ring attire isn't as "practical" as that of the Kyouki Shoujo.
Pamela: Well, this I'll give KS: at least they don't wear next to nothing to the ring. That's all I'll give them, but I'm being generous.
Kanyon: Yep, folks, this is another match with none of Pam's favorites in it, so maybe she'll just shut up...and..uh...how about taking a break, Pam?
Pamela: And lose money? Hell no...I'll still WATCH it.
Kanyon: *sigh* Maybe I should have entered Crysta's tournament to wish for a new broadcast partner...well here we are set for live action!!
*ding, ding*
Kanyon: It seems that Lexay is going to start out for her team...and Oseiko getting in the ring for her team. Lock up to to start--Lexay going for the headlock--Oseiko--on both hands--swings her right leg up and kicking Lexay in the back of the head--quite a unique counter--going for a roundhouse--ducked by Lexay--grabbing the leg, backdrop variation. Oseiko back up...another headlock--fake out, and Lexay sweeping the legs of Oseiko--cradles her in a small package variation!
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ONE!
Kickout! But not quite enough. Oseiko kicking out--back up..SHOTEI combination by Oseiko...firing the hot Latino rookie to the ropes--Lexay grabs hold--springs off--back elbow on Oseiko. Lexay back up, and Oseiko back up--SIDE KI--BY BOTH...and Lexay's longer legs serving her well there, as Oseiko's kick fell at little short. Oseiko not down for long, and a knee to the midsection--sets up a snap suplex on Lexay, and pulling her up by her arm--armwringer now--Oseiko to the corner--SPRINGBOARD ARM DRAG!! Oseiko off the ropes, going for a front flip--Lexay rolling out of the way...SPIN-A-ROON--no, handstand--SPINNING HANDSTAND KICK by Lexay--back up, and a DOUBLE ARM DDT!! Yeesh...did Lexay learn Capoeria?
Pamela: The correct word is "teach" I believe. Although he is only some lousy PWF--
Kanyon: Lexay grabbing her from behind...setting her up on the turnbuckle...going up top...and a SUPER BACKDROP on Oseiko!! And I meant the martial art, not the wrestler, Pam. And Lexay tagging in Arianna, who is fresh for this match, and the girls pulling up Oseiko, and Arianna hitting the far ropes, Lexay with a catapul--SPEAR from Arianna!
Pamela: No...like this...GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!
Kanyon: I really, *really* hate hearing that--from anyone. Arianna now pinning Oseiko...
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ONE!
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Tw--KICKOUT!
Pamela: Hehehe..I guess so much for KS getting a win. And Oseiko back up and in trouble, and Arianna with a belly to belly--No, reversal, and Oseiko with a sit out jawbreaker on Arianna!! Surprising her with that Hardyz-esque move, and dumping her out to the outside--tag made to Akiko...Oseiko springing over--no, over the apron--and--ASAI MOONSAULT ONTO ARIANNA on the outside!!
Pamela: Yeesh...that was just crazy, she could have gone for something just as effective but less risky.
Kanyon: Well, it's all about Ekusutoriimu, Pammy. And Akiko in the ring now...hitting the far ropes....cartweeling forward and a SASUKE SPECIAL!!
Pamela: Yeesh...WAS fresh, but I dunno about now...
Kanyon: Arianna pulled up by Kyouki Shoujo, and DOUBLE DROPKICK! Akiko rolling her into the ring now, and going for a springboard--HURRCAN--PANCAKED by Arianna!! And THAT stopped Kyouki Shoujo's momentum COLD! Arianna back up...cover on Akiko...
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ONE!
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TWO--NO!
Pamela: Akiko kicking out, but Arianna pulling her back up to her feet. Suplex set up--blocked by Akiko--SNAP SUPLEX!!--Akiko pulls her up...to the ropes--caught--NO, reversal--and a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX from Arianna!
Kanyon: Swift move from Arianna, and set up for another--NO, MIST from Akiko!! DROPKICK to to the knee by Akiko--SLAMS the knee into the mat, and stomp to the hamstring. Akiko setting her up...to the ropes--ROLLING TSUNAMI--into the Canadian Mapleleaf!!
Pamela: Yeesh...ripping off other people's moves to get an advantage...
Kanyon: Well, her and Lance are rather close...Arianna trapped in this hold, and trying to reach the ropes....or at least a tag to Lexay...Lexay reaching out her arm...TAG made to Lexay!! Lexay coming in, and BREAKS up the hold!! Lexay with a DROPKICK to the chest of Akiko...
Pamela: And not much protecting that area...yeesh...ever hear of the "Wonderbra," Aki?
Kanyon: Back up...scoop in a slam--DOUBLE ELBOW DROP by S&D, and both picking up Akiko...double Irish Whip--rope swing--fake out--and a Split Legged Missile DROPKICK nails both Arianna and Lexay!! Tag made to Oseiko, and we've got a 2 on 2 situation here! Kyouki Shoujo whipping Lexay and Ariann--NO! They bump rears, and CLOTHESLINES on Akiko and Oseiko! Pulled up now, and a scoop sla--NO, Akiko and Oseiko up on top their shoulders--hammering away--STEREO SHOULDER LOCK DDTS!! Arianna rolled to the outside...Oseiko covers Lexay!!
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ONE!
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TWO! Oseiko pulling up Lexay, and sends her to Akiko...LYGERBOMB by Akiko as Oseiko goes up top...SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Arianna making the save from outside, pulling Oseiko out by her ankle. Hoisted up--rams her kidney-first into the turnbuckle...CHOPS by Arianna!!
WHOOO!!!
Pamela: A jumping crescent kick on the...also not really blessed by nature...Oseiko--across the chest! Rolling her in now, and Lexay kinda knocked goofier than she normally is, but is still into it...DOUBLE Irish Whip into the corner...Lexay ducks down on all fours...Arianna springing off her back--Monkey Flip--KNEES UP--and Oseiko FLYING across and crashing down on Lexay's knees, almost like a backbreaker!! Cover by Lexay as her partner heads to the outside...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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KICKOUT!
Kanyon: I don't know WHAT in the heck you'd call that, but it certainly was a helluva move whatever is was.
Pamela: Just use the Vince McMahon stand-by if you don't know the name: "WHATTAMANEUVER!!"
Kanyon: That'll work. ^_^ Set up by Arianna, and a BUTTERFLY suplex takes Oseiko over. Arianna going to the apron, and getting ready for a springboard swant--OSEIKO rolling out of the way!! Unbelieveable...Oseiko trying to get back up, and shaking off that double team...ROUNDHOUSE KICK staggers Arianna, and a...KUMOUCHIKOMU!!! Leg hooked...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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KICKOUT!
Not quite...but...Oseiko tagging in Akiko!! Akiko dropping the knee on her, and picking her up...to the ropes now, and SPIN KICKS put Arianna flat on her back...LEGDROPS to the inner leg and across the throat by Kyouki Shoujo...cover by Akiko...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!
Pamela: Akiko back up, and setting up Arianna--blocked--and a Russian Leg Sweep by Arianna...Akiko up...arm drag takeover...back up...another arm drag--sends to the ropes--nearly knocks Oseiko off the apron--TAG TO LEXAY!! Now...er...I'll call this Bischoff-style: Back leg front kick by Akiko is ducked and countered with a middle-front-leg-kick to the solar plexus, putting Akiko on her back...Akiko up...drop toe top--spinning legdrop, and pulls her up...
Kanyon: Lexay scooped up and DROPPED on the back of her neck on Akiko's knee--pin--no, Lexay slipping free, reversing into a headscissors--Akiko attempting to fight it--DRIVING THE ELBOW onto Lexay's midsection, breaking it up. Akiko pulling her up to her feet--ENZUI GIRI by Lexay!! Akiko to the ropes--rebounds off--Lexay looking for a one-person flapjack--Akiko up and DOWN! Lexay pulling her up by by the head now, kick to the midsection...off the ropes and--a scissor kick that she calls that the MONEY MAKER!! Covers Akiko...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!
Pamela: Oooh...close one there. Even if we had to look at her big ass shaking around...that thing's almost got Molly's beat.
Kanyon: Lexay pulling up Akiko, going for a backbrea--no, Akiko slipping free, sends Lexay to the ropes--spin heel kick on target!! Tag made to Oseiko, and both of Kyouki Shoujo in...Lexay up and--DIVINE WIND KICK AND KUMO NO SASU simultaneously!! Oseiko going for the cover!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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CRASH HOLLY HITTING HER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE RING BELL!!
Pamela: Does that mean the match is over?
Kanyon: I...guess...RIGHT HANDS on the fallen and probably loopy Oseiko. Crash Holly effectively stopping this match, with his obvious target the current EAW Extreme Champion, Oseiko herself...Akiko giving chase, and Crash bailing...
Pamela: And...WHAT THE HELL?!
Crash steps back and laughs at Oseiko as he walks backwards up the ramp, not seeing the thick cloud of smoke that has suddenly appeared behind him, then the smoke suddenly GRABS Crash and drops him into a reverse DDT onto the rampway!!! The smoke quickly takes human form after that, changing into Sasori Shirono!! He stands over the downed Crash, then draws out his hand towards Oseiko silently, a chitened scorpion stinger-like bat forming into his hand and pointing at her!
Pamela: It isn't polite to point...I thought mime-boy could talk now?
Kanyon: Well, I think it's pretty clear what he's saying...apparently Sasori is challenging his mentor's great-granddaughter for the Extreme Title!
Pamela: WHAT ABOUT CRASH?!?! >_< He deserves a shot more than that that pasty freak.
"Bad Blood" cues up as Sasori turns to leave, suddenly shattering into a mass of scorpions as they skitter into the shadows and vanish.
Winners: Kyouki Shoujo via Disqualification
Kanyon: Well, it appears this match has unfortunately ended due to Crash screwing it up, but stay tuned because there is plenty more Mayhem to make tonight!
**Commercial Break**
His girlfriend, Larocha, dances a bit as they walk to the ring. He steps up and holds the ropes for her. He walks over to the corners and howls, popping to the crowd. The music takes an Indian/Arabian rhythm and Larocha begins to belly dance, seductively in the middle of the ring.
The crowd begins to cheer wild and Nexus looks around, angrily. He puts his hand on her shoulder to stop her and covers her with his coat. The crowd boos as he grabs a mic.
"None of you are worthy to see the dance of my desert flower! You are all insignificant peons and to even let you look at her is more than you deserve." The crowd boos more. He just snubs his nose at them and holds the ropes for her to climb out as he waits for his opponent.
Suddenly, the sounds of Ultra Mega cues up into the arena, and the crowd cheers (especially the women) as Seven rushes to the ring. He gets in and stares down Nexus as the match begins.
(NOTE: OK…cause of personal reasons, this match too will be in modified summery form.)
The match starts off with a stare-down by the two combatants…and Nexus giving Seven a cocky slap across the face. This seems to infuriate Seven though, as he swings a HARD right hand right into the face, sending the wolf-morph onto his ass. Nexus seems surprised…but is unable to react as Seven runs in and kicks him right in the mouth. He gets Nexus into a corner and hits him with a Seven Trap, but Nexus rolls out of the ring before Seven can take advantage of the situation…and Larocha is there to console him.
After Nexus gets back into the ring, Seven attempts to attack him with another move…but Nexus is right there to catch him in the face with a big boot. Once Seven is down on the mat, Nexus mounts him and starts pummeling away at the android. Seven eventually pushes Nexus off of himself, but Nexus is waiting there to grab Seven for a big chokeslam, going for a cover but only getting a two count.
As Seven gets back to his feet, Nexus is feeling very confident and grabs at Seven's ankles. He only manages to get one though, as Seven uses the free foot to nail Nexus in the back of the head with a nicely placed Enziguri, but only manages to get a two count when he goes for the pin.
Nexus is still down on the mat when Seven gets onto his feet and leaps to the top turnbuckle, waiting for Nexus to get back onto his feet. Once Nexus does, Seven goes flying for a move onto Nexus…but Dogstar manages to catch Seven with a boot to the gut…setting him up…and delivering the Fourth Impact onto him, getting the pin on Seven and the victory.
Winner by Pin: Nexus Dogstar
Larocha gets into the ring to celebrate with her boyfriend as the camera fades out.
**Commercial Break**
Kanyon: Welcome everyone back to EAW Riot Rulz!! Coming up next will be our main event....a dozen cruiserweights will vie for the EAW Cruiserweight Title in a Holy Wars Match!
Pamela: Yup..and I have my faves picked out..David Flair, Nova, or Savvy should take this one. And what a HUGE feather in his cape it would be for Nova to win the title here tonight as well as win Crysta as his valet!
Kanyon: Well, Nova will go to the finals, to face off against Eighteen, but that match with Fasha surely took a toll on him--
Suddenly...from out of nowhere..."Gonna Fly Now" starts to play...and out from the entryway...wearing one of his T-Shirts and red workout pants, is Kirk Angel. Around his waist are both the PWF Universal and EAW World Title belts.
Kanyon: Lo and behold...what a shock. The EAW and PWF champ Kirk Angel out here...and I'm willing to bet it's going to be all about how great he is...
Pamela: Well, he IS the champion and main star of EAW--why not?
And after a bit...a nice looking girl wearing the same outfit, only a bit tighter, comes out, smiling.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, with his wife Karen...PWF Universal and EAW World Heavyweight Champion...Kiiiiirk...Angel!"
Kanyon: ....What in the hell?
Pamela: Well, quite the looker--you surprised, Chris?
Kanyon: Bah...probably he helped her with her homework or something.
Karen Angel gets into the ring first, holding the ropes for her husband, who gets in...and they both start to celebrate Angel's recent victories by spining. All around, balloons and confetti of Red, White, and Blue fall from the ceiling.
Pamela: Wow...it's almost like a parade!
Kanyon: Not the kind I'd expect Kirk to go to...
Chants of "ANGEL LIKES FEET" start as the music fades out...and Karen looks more angry than her husband as she takes a mic. "WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP!" she says...in a nicer voice than Steph's...but with the same anger. "THIS MAN IS YOUR CHAMPION!"
Kanyon: Gee...thanks for reminding me.
Pamela: You're welcome!
Karen points towards her husband. "Now you all shut up and listen to words of wisdom from the GREATEST WRESTLER EVER!" she says as she hands Kirk the mic.
Kanyon: Augh...God...whoever told her to SPEAK...SHUT HER UP!!
Pamela: She has a pretty voice I think...better than that wanna-be singer Oseiko.
Kanyon: Actually, she IS a famous singer in Japan.
Pamela: So? Whenever you hear about washed up no-talents, what do you always hear? "Oh, they're still big...in Japan. Hell, Gary Coleman is big in Japan--or at least about average height.
Kirk smiles out to the crowd. "Well my loyal fans...it seems I have come full circle, doesn't it? This is where it all started...here in Atlanta. And now, I return to you as the first ever EAW/PWF World Universal Heavyweight Champion!" Kirk smiles, and Karen applauds a bit. Kanyon: *gag* ...Horrible...flashbacks...ALLIANCE...WIND BENEATH MY RING...ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!!
"Now, since I know that you Atlantians are ALL my fans..." he says, ignoring the massive boos. "...that you want my opinions about the goings on here in EAW. Well, for one thing...I must talk about the idiotic idea of Morrigan." Karen Angel smiles...knowing what Kirk has planned.
Kanyon: Here coming the bitching--and the bitch to go with it. And Karen, too.
Pamela: BOOO! to you, Chris.
Karen takes the mic. "You see Morrigan, you forgot to check with other bookers before making a decision about the EAW World Championship matches. For I have learned that my husband, thanks to my idea, has talked to Booker Waters...and as of now, whoever Kirk here faces at the next PPV...will be fighting Kirk in a Submission Match!"
Kanyon: I think I just saw my glass of water start to crack. Or is it just me?
Pamela: Husshup! We have the wife of an Olympian talking here.
Kirk nods. "And as for who Morrigan named my opponent? PUH-LEEZE! Just because Mikey cries and whines and bitches about being pinned by me, he gets a rematch? Bit of bias?"
"Damn right it's bias, babe!" Karen says, looking a bit sad. "How could they try to hurt your illustrious career?"
"I don't know. But Mikey...you don't DESERVE another shot!"
Kanyon: You didn't deserve a shot PERIOD, Kirk...well...not at a title.
Pamela: *sigh* SOOOO immature.
As the crowd boos that statement, "There's a Fire in the House" cues up, breaking off Karen and Kirk's tirade in the ring...with Mikey appearing on the stage, back to the ring. He spins around...
"Kirk...Karen...I think the fans have suffered enough here...would you PLEASE...SHUT....THE HELL..." Michael begins, then stop. "Naw...not going to do that...no, I will...SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!! It's bad enough hearing you Kirk, but Karen makes me want to jam a sharpened pencil into my eardrum just to end the pain."
Karen glares at Mikey. "Bold talk coming from a loser like yourself, Mikey." she says, angrily.
Michael slowly walks down the stage, "Bold...yes...but I'm also daring. You see Kirk, I KNEW this is how you'd react. You face me in a match at No Escape...wrestle an excellent match, that I will admit..but since you COULD NOT beat me, you instead cheat me. Way to flush any respect I almost had for you down the crapper, Kirk. I'm glad I got to bust that fat head open of yours, although given the choice I wanted to instead close that other hole in your head. So Kirk...explain to me why you felt you HAD to whack me with that belt to escape as champ?"
Kirk is about to say something...but Karen interrupts. "That's another thing...how DARE you slice the head open of a real champion and a MUCH better athlete than you! What justification do you have for doing such a thing to YOUR champion in a non-Extreme Rules match!?"
Michael makes his voice very deep, "Duuuuuuuuh...I dunno, George...maybe..." he then reverts to his normal voice, "BECAUSE HE CAME AT ME WITH A CHAIR TRYING TO BASH MY BRAINS IN?! It was a defensive move I did more out of reflex than actual intention. You don't hear me complaining about the bruise he gave me with that belt...just about the shot itself COSTING ME THE TITLE!...Really, Kirk, if you're so damned sure that you're so much better than me, and if you, Karen, are so sure that Kirk's a superior athlete than me, what is SO scary about a rematch? I'll even be glad to play by your rules. Submission match? Sure...I can still be as Extreme as I wanna be, plus have the joy of making you submit," Micheal adds.
Karen is about to say something this time...but Kirk interrupts this time. "Fine by me." he says, ignoring Karen's surprised look. "Of course, I'm only doing this because I feel SORRY for you. I mean...me giving you another shot at MY EAW World Heavyweight Championship would be as generous as if I gave the Philadelphia Fighter a shot at the PWF Universal Championship. Or if Hulk Hogan gave Barry Horowitz a shot at the WWF Title belt. So consider it accepted. Though, you should stop crying like a pathetic baby so much at any little loss you have happen to you, trying to make up reasons you lost."
Karen smiles. "And I will LOVE to see the tears in Oseiko's eyes when she sees that you are truely the loser that we both know that you are." she says, grinning evilly. Kirk smiles and puts a hand on her shoulder.
"If you mean tears of joy as they carry me out of the ring with your title, sure...but the only loser will be you. As for the title shot...making it official....thank you, Kirk. Glad to see you're willing to give people second chances," Michael says...sounding...serious?! Much to the shock of Kirk and Karen.
Kirk looks around, confused. Karen doesn't look too trusting of Mikey this time.
Michael slowly walks up the stairs, then steps into the ring, "You let Blink have the...lovely opportunity to suck up to your when she was brainwashed, for instance, and...here's a little tidbit I came across researching you, Kirk...that Mrs. Karen Angel, before becoming an Olympic gold-medal-digger, made her money as an exotic dancer," Michael says, immediately INFURIATING both Kirk and Karen. "Nice to see that ugly past is behind you. Well...maybe not ugly. I wouldn't know since I would NEVER go to a place like that. But, hey...if she didn't mind making her moolah by having it stuffed into her g-string by half-drunken young to middle aged men, that's her perogative. As long as she doesn't do it any more."
Karen glares at him. "I don't know WHERE you got that information, but that's been GROSSLY overexaggerated." she says, trying to cover up her past. Kirk interrupts.
"Hey, at least MY wife didn't kill anyone, Mikey." he says with a cocky smirk.
Michael doesn't exactly take that well either, "No, I suppose she hasn't. But precisely my point. We all make mistakes in the past. Some larger than others. But the past is the past, Kirk. There's only the now, and the future. A future where I'm champion and you aren't any longer. I didn't get it last time...maybe I was too overzealous."
Michael pauses," This time will be different, and I WILL not let myself underestimate how low you can sink. I have a little joke at your expense, and you bring up that? I'll forgive you for that Kirk. The victory will be sweet...fans, do you remember that chant...sing it, do sing it...before I retreat. I goes kind of like..."
And as Michael signals for it, the "Angel Likes Feet" chants begin again.
Kirk is getting really angry at this...but Karen apparently angrier...as she goes right up to Michael's face...and tries slapping the taste out of his mouth.
Right as she's about to make contact, Michael blocks it with his left hand, drops the microphone--and looks about to Olympic Slam Karen!!
Kanyon: YES YES Ye--NO!
And instead sets her down, but gives Karen a wedgie--exposing a neon green thong.
Kanyon: Make that...YES YES YES!
Kirk goes to pull Karen out of the ring, his two titles still around his waist as he does. "Mark my words, Connelly...you'll pay for that." He says, walking towards the back.
"I'll be holding my breath and counting the minutes, Kirk. By the way, is that hers or one of yours she borrowed?"
The crowd pops again at the remark, as Kirk just glares at Mikey...and Karen is squirming in her husband's grasp, trying to go to attack Mikey again as he pulls her away.
"There's a Fire in the House" cues up again, as Mikey takes a bow before the cheering crowd.
Kanyon: Wow, less than a week after No Escape and we've already got our Aggression Main Event set....Connelly vs. Angel in an a Submission Match!!
Pamela: Kirk does not wear thongs! >_<
Kanyon: We'll be back after this break, don't miss more of Riot Rulz!
**Commercial Break**
We come back to the ringing of the ring bell...
Capetta: The following Holy Wars match is scheduled for TV time remaining, and the last man OR woman standing will be the NEW Extreme Attitude Wrestling Cruiserweight Champion! Before I announce the first two persons to start the match, here are the rules...
As Capetta clears his throat some EAW officials start unloading weapons and setting up tables around ringside.
Kanyon: Man, this does not look good for the peeps in this match, but sure to produce some entertaining moments for us.
Pamela: As long as David, Savvy, or Nova win, of course.
Capetta: There are three rounds. The first begins when the bell rings and will be under the Hell in a Cell, and elimination can only be done via putting another person through a table. The second round begins when 5 wrestlers have been eliminated, and can only be won via pinfall. When the match is down to two wrestlers, round three begins, which can only be won via submission.
"Bodies" by Drowning Pool cues up and Savvy comes out to a chorus of boos...
From there, "Bodies" fades out and "Nobodies" by Marilyn Manson cues up, and the Girls of Goth making their way out...
"Demonoid Pheonomenon" by Rob Zombie cues up, bringing out Ainako in her first match in quite a while, and the crowd cheers her on dispite her dubious past in the EAW...
"Ride on A Shooting Star" cues up, and Akiko Nakano is out next...
"One of A Kind" by Breaking Point plays, and C-V-D comes out next, getting the crowd pumped.
"Superstar" by Saliva plays as the hated David Flair (w/ Kelly) comes out next.
"Click Click Boom" by Saliva plays and Arianna makes her way out.
"Dare" by Stan Bush cues up and the Hurricane comes out...getting quite the reception.
"Conflict" by Disturbed plays, and Nova comes out to make his way to the ring to boos.
"Points of Authority" by Linkin Park cues up and brings out Buzzsaw, who meets up with Arianna in the ring.
"Supergirl" by Shonen Knife plays, and Molly comes out last...to massive cheers.
.....and so on..
Kanyon: All the wrestlers are in the ring now, and a brawl already starting among them as the Cells lowers...only one person will be left standing...here we go!
*ding, ding*
The first round is largely chaos, although things are more organized as many of the the entrants split up into small groups, working together: the Girls of Goth, Akiko and Chris Van Dam, Mighty Molly and the Hurricane, Arianna and Buzzsaw, and David, Savvy, and Nova together. Ainako seems to be the only one without backup...
And as you'd expect, Ainako has a tough time, especially when the Girls of Goth double team her, but she escapes an attempt at a Sin-Sation, corners Sin, and manages to NeXt Factor Sin through a table.
Eliminated: Sin
Flair and Savvy work on Shade, with Nova setting up another table. Savvy attempts a Hurracanrana through it, but Shade powerbombs her to the mat. Nightshade on top on Savvy, but nowhere near a table. Buzzsaw and Arianna go to work on Savvy, while David and Nova single out CVD. Akiko hits a spinning heel kick to Nova, tosses him out of the ring, hitting a cross body to the outside. CVD starts to come back on David, and sends him to the corner, nailing a series of kicks on Flair, and then springing up on top, as Shade helps roll her ex on top of a table...5 Star Frog Splash folds up the table with ease, and David is out of the match!
Eliminated: David Flair
Akiko, CVD, and Shade triple-team Savvy at first, until Nova decks Akiko and CVD with a steel chair, then hits a Novacaine on Shade onto the chair. Savvy starts to take control of Shade, Fire Misting her then taking her to the outside and ramming her against the sides of the cage. Molly and Ainako currently are WRESTLING each other, as opposed to straight-up brawling, and CVD and Hurricane start getting into it, with CVD dropkicking Hurricane out of the ring.
Nova and Savvy double team Shade as Buzzsaw and Akiko brawl beside them, with Arianna breaking up the Molly--Ainako struggle to try to reverse suplex Ainako--but is reversed and shoved into Molly.
Nova and Savvy double-team powerbomb Shade out of the ring and into a table on the outside.
Eliminated: Shade
Right near where Shade was eliminated, Hurricane is taking control of CVD, hitting an Eye of the Hurricane on the floor, then setting up a table. CVD recovers quicker then expected, and sneaks up from behind and GERMAN SUPLEX(release version)ES Hurricane on the floor! Nova then comes off the top rope with a Swanton Bomb onto Hurricane, and helps CVD double team him momentarily until Arianna and Buzzsaw come out of the ring and send Nova into the side of the cage, and stomp on him, before Buzzsaw loads up a GUI-TAR and bashes Nova over the head with it.
Akiko goes on the outside and helps CVD load Hurricane onto a table, and CVD goes for an Asai Moonsault, but Akiko yanks Hurricane off of it, and CVD goes crashing through the table himself. Akiko shrugs innocently, as the bell rings to signify the current PWFer was eliminated by the ex-PWFer, and goes to join the assault on Nova.
Eliminated: Chris Van Dam
Ainako and Molly are wrestling each other on the outside, but Ainako begins to take control, and scoop slams Molly onto a nearby table. She climbs up top and hammers away, and the two roll off the table, with Molly reversing into a sleeper. Savvy sneaks up behind them and pulls off Ainako, snap suplexing her and setting her up for a powerbomb onto the table, but Ainako counters with a DDT. Hurricane comes to Molly's aid, sets her up and Hurribreaker's Ainako through the table...
Eliminated: Ainako
...Just as Arianna and Buzzsaw are set to double-team suplex Nova off the apron through a table...
*ding, ding*....*ding, ding*...*ding, ding*
The bell signals for the start of round two, and Nova goes through the table, just a few seconds too late.
With the field narrowed down, the match begins to run smoother, although it seems that the brief alliances are mostly ruling the ring, with Hurricane and Mighty Molly taking control of Nova and Savvy, respectively, and Buzzsaw and Arianna teaming up to take on Akiko. Akiko fights back as best she can, managing to slow down Buzzsaw with a barrage of kicks and almost getting an Osaka Street Cutter off on Arianna, but Arianna is saved by Molly, who then snapmares, and dropkicks Akiko in the upper back, and goes for a pinfall...2 count, and a kickout.
Savvy and Nova double team Hurricane, and when Molly picks up and piledrives Akiko, Nova catches Arianna from behind, grabs Hurricane, and then performs a Stunner on Hurricane, a DDT on Arianna, and a Leg Drop on Akiko--SIMULTANEOUSLY! Nova and Savvy cover Hurricane and Arianna respectively, but a kick out from Hurricane, and Buzzsaw makes the save for Arianna.
Akiko is pulled up by Molly who sends her to the ropes--back body drop attempt blocked, and Akiko attempts a backslide--kickout. Akiko grabs a trash can lid, and smacks it across Molly's back, and dropkicks her in the knees. She then slides her foot into the handle, waits on Molly to get back up, and DIVINE WIND KICKs her with it. Cover, and a 1, 2--Hurricane makes the save, and EYE OF THE HURRICANE onto the lid. Hurricane covers...1!.....2!.....3!!
Eliminated: Akiko
As Akiko leaves the ring, not altogether happy, of course, Molly and Arianna go up against each other, and Arianna whips Molly out to the floor. Arianna leaps up onto the top rope, and goes for an Aricanrana, taking Molly over and attemping a pin...2 count only, and Molly kicks out. Arianna whips her into the cage, and begins to stomp away at her midsection...
Meanwhile, in the ring, Buzzsaw and Hurricane are fighting off Nova and Savvy; Buzz sends Nova to the corner, and hits a GORE into the corner, then hits a gutwrench powerbomb, getting a two. Savvy Fire Mists the Hurricane, and whips him into the corner, spin heel kicking him, then hitting the BRONCO BUSTER when he slides down to the mat.
On the outside, Arianna, goes to set up an Evenflow DDT, but Molly counters, hitting a tossing Northern Lights Suplex. Nova reverses a thrust kick attempt into a modified Ace Crusher, but doesn't get the pin...but vaults over onto Arianna. Arianna gets up, but is then caught by surprise when Nova decks her in the back of the head with a steel chair, and offers Molly the pin...which she takes with a bit of reluctance...
...1...2...3!!
Eliminated: Arianna
Back in the ring, Buzzsaw and Savvy get into it, with Buzzsaw taking control--but a low blow by Savvy stops it. She hits a swinging neckbreaker, and then goes to the top rope, hitting a Moonsault/Leg Drop. 2 Count only. Nova and Savvy stomp away at him, but Hurricane decks Nova from behind, sending him to the ropes, and hitting a Hurracanrana that drives him on top of Buzzsaw...covering him until Buzzsaw kicks out at a long two, then shoves Nova off. Buzzsaw gets up with renewed energy, slugging away at both Nova and Savvy, then sends Nova to the ropes and powerslams him, while hitting a SPINEBUSTER on Savvy...cover on Savvy...2 count only again. Molly gets in, and helps up Nova...Savvy attempts to roll him up, but is unsuccessful, and gets stomped for her troubles. Buzzsaw sets up Savvy, hits a Buzzkill...cover...2...3!!
Eliminated: Savvy
Axehandle by Nova is too late to make the save, but Nova sets up Buzzsaw and hits the ELEVATOR on him, as Molly and Hurricane take a short breather...2 count again, but Nova sets him up again--suplex blocked, and Buzzsaw sets up and hits a POWERBOMB, then starts a vicious series of mounted punches...Molly attempts to pull him off, getting a VICIOUS BACK ELBOW for her troubles, and then Buzzsaw clotheslines her out of the ring. Angered by this, Hurricane goes after Buzzsaw immediately with a FACECRUSHER, then picks him up...CHOKESLAM!!! onto a nearby steel chair...SO close to a 3 count. Nova pulls up Hurricane, and the two slug it out with each other...and Hurricane attempts to toss him over the ropes--but Nova grabs hold, springs back in, and hits a forearm on Hurricane. He goes up top for a Swanton attempt, but Hurricane was just playing possum, CROTCHES Nova, then SLAMS him off the top rope, as Molly comes back in, just as Buzzsaw is getting back up...Molly hits a snapmare on Buzzsaw, then knees him in the gut, doubling him over. She hooks his head and left shoulder, like the beginning of a half belly to belly suplex. She then wrenches up on it and lifts the Buzzsaw up, spinning into a Twist of Fate style neckbreaker!! Cover by Molly...1...2...3!!
Eliminated: Buzzsaw
Hurricane and Nova keep battling each other, with Molly trying to mediate...Hurricane ducks a high kick by Nova, which nails Molly instead, and Nova nails Hurricane low, hitting a DEEP IMPACT!! He hooks the leg of Molly...1...2...3!!
Eliminated: Mighty Molly
*ding, ding, ding...ding, ding, ding...*
The bell signals the end of round 2, and the start of round three...Molly gets up a bit dazed, and exits the ring, as Hurricane and Nova get up to their feet...
The two immediately begin to pick up where their last match ended, and an Irish Whip reversal by Hurricane allows him to take a trash can lid--drive it into Nova's midsection, and smacks him across the back of the head with it. Hurricane stomps away on Nova, picking him up and attempting a DDT, but Nova attempts a reversal, punching away at the gut. Hurricane opts for a NECKBREAKER instead, and takes the lid and holds it across his throat...Nova back up, and a back elbow...Nova gets free, hits Hurricane with right hands, then tosses him to the ropes--puts him up in a fireman's carry--SPINNING PANCAKE DROP!! Nova goes to the chinlock, into a sleeper, but no submission.
Hurricane comes back, getting up to his feet, and freeing himself from Nova's grasp, and bounces off the ropes--dropkick by Nova stops him in his tracks, and Nova takes a broken piece of table and blasts Hurricane with it, repeatedly, then attempts another Deep Impact...but Hurricane reverses, back body dropping him, and then gets back up to his feet, kicking at Nova, and picking him up, HURRIBREAKING him...and Nova pulled back up to his feet...EYE OF THE HURRICANE, and a chokehold/chickenwing...although Nova is more or less out cold....arm drops once...twice...three times?!
*ding, ding*
Capetta: The Winner of this Match..and NEW Extreme Attitude Wrestling Cruiserweight Champion...the HURRICANE!!!
"Dare" by Stan Bush cues up...
Kanyon: And this has gotta be a proud moment for the Hurricane...getting a win over Hurricane AS WELL as becoming the new Cruiserweight champion!!
Pamela: Waaaaaaaaaaaah!! What a disaster....*sniff*
Kanyon: Thank you for watching folks...seeya you next time!!