Since GTA: Vice City happened in 1986, there's quite a gap to follow through between then and now. So... where are they now?

TOMMY VERCETTI actually became mayor of Vice City through... questionable means. Sure, he's a crooked mayor. But at least he gets the job done! Plus thanks to him, crime's down. Well, all the crime that's not secretly supervised by him, of course.

KEN ROSENBERG is still on as Vercetti's personal lawyer, always eager to bail his business associate out of trouble.

MERCEDES CORTEZ has an on-again, off-again relationship with Tommy. Sure, there's feelings between the two, but their eyes tend to stray sometimes towards other partners. Theirs is a very loose relationship to be sure.

CANDY SUXXX broke out into Hollywood, dropping the last name and just calling herself Candy, the well-endowed former porn star is actually doing well for herself in B-movies.

LOVE FIST is still around, surprisingly. Despite various ODs and frontman Jezz Torrent being declared dead once, the controversial rock band is still going strong.

PHIL CASSIDY is over at Liberty City, but then you already know that. =0p

COL. CORTEZ is still on the run from the French.

AVERY CARRINGTON passed on, sadly... only to have his fortune inherited (through duplicitous means) by former protogee Donald Love.

STEVE SCOTT is in prison after trying to make one of his latest movies, called V.R.: The Sex Is Real, But He Is Not. Those child pornography laws are tough. =0p

And that's about it... ^^ This week's EAW event takes place at the Hyman Memorial Stadium at Vice City, USA. ^_^ d Enjoy!

We open to the packed Stadium filled with the citizens of Vice City. There are several fights actually occuring in the crowd. Signs in the crowd include: "Goldberg does my taxes" "VICE CITY!!!" "WHERE'S GTA MAN?!" "OSEIKO HAS TIES TO THE YAKUZA!!" "CANDY SUXXX 4-EVA!" "Buu ate Big Show... who Oddly Enough ATE MY FAMILY!" "CRMAC = Red, Red Whine" "We'll GET YOU, Joey Numbers!" "M-2: Electric Boogaloo?" "Roddy Piper: Wanted for Assault with Coconuts" "Watching Raw successfully = 20 Beers in the Making" "Derek Walker--the real Total Package" "Marry me, Trish!" "*arrow* wants a taste of 'Honey.'" "I joined the nWo, and all I got was this lousy shirt, bad knees, and alcoholism," and many "Thank you Teena!" signs.

Kanyon: Welcome everyone, to EAW Riot Rulz!! We're here from... one of the worst places to live in ANY America. Glad I took a rental car and had insurance, because they took everything off my ride but the windshield, plus I almost got shot. =0p

Pamela: Well, duh... this IS Vice City, you know. Fortunately, I was smart enough to bring a brick in my purse and a bullet-proof vest underneath my regular jacket. I guess you'll know better next time.

Kanyon: Umm-hmm...

"Broken" by Bruce Dickinson cues up...

Kanyon: Well, before any of scheduled matches take place, it appears we're going to be graced with the presence of "Code Red" Michael Connelly. He claims to be standing up for what is right. Although he seems like a self-righteous S.O.B. to me.

Pamela: Well, I'll have you know he's right! And he has worked hard and been loyal to this company so long, but since calls a certain egotist biiiotch on something, the fans turn on him. Just the sort of thing that the World's Greatest Entertainer puts up with as he almost single-handedly saves the Traveling Bulls*** Show from total sucktitude.

Kanyon: Pot... kettle...

Michael ignores the booing crowd, climbing into the ring, and taking the microphone.

"Tonight... all you unworthy fans will have the honor and the privilege of seeing two of the Girls of the Wild Joy against one another: Trish Stratus vs. my beautiful, sweet, talented, and very, very tough wife, Oseiko. To me, the match is a foregone conclusion, but that's okay, as it still will be fun to watch. However, you'll all cheer of course. I think you still will. I would like to say, thank goodness that we have some decent females in this industry, instead of all of them being bimbos like Eighteen," Michael sighs, drawing boos.

"Thankfully, it isn't half as bad here as it is on... our competitor's shows. Last night, we had some stupid piece of fluff... some trashy skank who decided to pose nude in Playboy... out there shilling her magazine. I'd say that posing nude hurt her image if she wasn't already probably the biggest slut in the industry from where I sit. So you can't ruin THAT image. Plus, that is the only thing she's good for." The fans boo him more, some chant "TORRIE!"

"In case you don't understand... besides her looks, she is WORTHLESS! She can't act, she can't wrestle, and she is obviously INCREDIBLY stupid. Plus, either her permanently erect nipples are just the result of her liking to be nearly naked in public, or the side effect of a botched breast implant surgery. Whichever doesn't matter. I LOATHE that woman and I never even met her. Having her out there was bad enough... but no. They wouldn't let us get off THAT easily, would they?" Michael shakes his head.

He continues, "Because that bimbo's mom--er, rather, some other bimbo pops out... one who was in Playboy a few years ago and... basically annoys me more. If I recall correctly, this was the same woman who quit after objecting to being made a sexual object and refusing to do a lesbian storyline. So last night, she comes out, acts like a sexual object, and gives a not-platonic kiss to the younger, dumber bimbo. Wonderful of her to stick by her morals like that, wasn't it?" Michael shakes his head head, as the crowd keeps booing. "Of course, some people think that since you disagree, I'm wrong and you fans are right. I, of course, know better."

He turns his attention towards the entranceway, "Speaking of blond bimbos, I've thought over my little challenge... and I've changed my mind. 'Teena,' care to come out here and let us talk this over face to face?"

After a moment... THHOOOOOOMMM!!!!!

"Shock" cues up and as the explosion dissipate, Eighteen is seen, wearing her blue jeans, boots, a new white/black Eighteen baseball jersey, and a black leather jacket with the "18" Red Ribbon insignia. She stares at Michael for a moment, still on the stage as she begins to pace about.

"You seem to be a bit overly-cautious. Afraid, Eighteen?" Michael taunts her.

"..." Eighteen stops... looks at Michael... and suddenly-- SHE'S THERE! Right in front of Michael with speed so blinding it couldn't even be picked up by the naked eye!

"... okay, maybe not," Michael backs away, a bit. "Anyway, about that challenge I made..."

"Yes?" Eighteen interrupts. "The challenge... you know, I'm a little disappointed in you, Michael.."

"How so?" he asks.

"Your attitude," Eighteen says. "Every time you come out here, belittle these fans, say bad things about good people, it makes me think less and less of you... ESPECIALLY when you talk down to the people here!" The fans cheer Eighteen. "These people... I defended these people when Buu came calling! I fought for these people! I would have died for these people and you have the gall to call them STUPID?!"

"It's admirable that you did that. I'm not denying that. It doesn't mean that a lot of the people you saved aren't rotten people though. You DO realize we're in Vice City, don't you? This is the mecca of perversion, gambling, prostitution, drug dealing--and that's just the things I know about," Michael rebuts.

"Even so... these are MY people! The world accepts me as their Champion. And you just can't deal with that, can you? Well you're going to have to... for Oseiko's sake." Eighteen looks right into Michael's eyes. "I could see the look in Oseiko's eyes, Michael... her heart's breaking. And it's your fault."

"No, it isn't. She's so naive that she doesn't see what's really important. She'd jump off a bridge if the fans told her to. Just look earlier this week. Despite the condition his neck is in, the fans callously wanted Austin to keep wrestling. Why? They just don't care. At the end of the day, they don't care about him, me, you, Oseiko, or anyone else," Michael replies, pacing around her.

"You know, you're so full of s*bleep!*t," Eighteen retorts as the fans cheer her. "I do this for the fans because I like it when they cheer me. I protect the fans and anyone else on this world because I respect them. That's the key word, Michael. Respect. Respect the fans and they'll respect you. THAT'S why they're all booing you."

"These people don't know anything about respect. They HAD my respect, but they lost it. Now, enough about them. They don't matter. It's our match I want to talk about," Michael cuts her off.

"..." Eighteen glares at Michael. "You know... I don't think you DESERVE a match with me what with the way you're acting lately. Tell you what. You change your attitude and come back afterwards. THEN we'll see about a match." And with that Eighteen turns around to leave the ring?

"No, you're wrong. You're the one that doesn't deserve to face me in that Number One Contendership match. I guess if you are refusing it, maybe I can just take the shot myself without winning it," Michael shrugs.

"... !" Eighteen turns around. "Number One Contendership match?!"

"Yes. I talked to our illustrious EAW President, and explained to him since we were the last two champions prior to David beating you for it, that putting us two against each other would be a fine way to find a worthy challenger for the title for the PPV after Split Second. Don't you agree?" Michael half-smiles a cocky smirk.

Eighteen blinks... then smirks back. "All right... I'll give you that, that WAS ingenious of you... all right, Michael. I accept your challenge."

"Alright... however, what I wanted to talk to you about was when. There is going to be a Connelly on that Pay Per View, one way or another. If Oseiko doesn't win tonight, then we'll wrestle each other, instead of next week, on August 27th, AT Split Second. Winner challenges for the title at the following Pay Per View. If Oseiko wins, then we'll face each other next week. Sound fair?" he asks, leaning over the top rope.

"Why not?" Eighteen says. "I have no problems with that."

"Alright. My thanks to my cousin for helping negotiate that. See, those Flairs aren't all bad, are they? So, with that settled, why don't you get back in this ring, and we'll shake on it. Just like I told Oseiko, we'll finish our issues the old fashioned way, in the ring." Michael then holds out his hand, waiting for Eighteen.

Eighteen looks to Michael... with a pause she finally climbs back into the ring... looking to Michael's hand... then smirks, taking it and shaking it.

The crowd cheers. Michael gets closer, "This time... consciously or unconsciously... I'm not taking it easy on you." Michael pulls his hand away.

Eighteen stares at Michael... then smiles. "... We'll see, Mikey. We'll see."

**Commercial Break**

"Feuer Frei" by Rammstein cues up and fire errupts at the stage, indicating the arrival of Kaye. She makes her way, slowly, to the ring and once in the ring, lights the ringposts, to the cheer of the crowd.

Capetta: The following match is schedued one fall! Making her way to the ring, weighting 215 lbs, from Death Valley, TX, "The Phoenix" Kaye Calloway!!

Kanyon: Kaye making her first announced visit since leaving. She surprised Akira, but seems John Smith gets to SEE the train barrelling toward him.

Pam: Aw, c'mon, Chris. How do we know it'll even be like that. Just because a guy's new, doesn't mean he'll lose.

Kanyon: Well, he'll be in for a fight, anyway.

Fur Elise begins to play and M-2 Vengeance John Smith appears. He doesn't stop at the stage, or even look to the crowd. He walks straight down to the ring and gets in. He seems to be a middle aged man. Worn and weathered. He's bald and his right eye seems to be dead, with a star shaped scar around it. He's dressed in black elbow pads, gloves, tights, with white boots and black kick gaurds.

Capetta: And her opponent, weighing 236 lbs, hailing from M.A.R.Z. Corp. International, M-2 Vengeance John Smith!!

Pam: Eh... I was hoping for a cute one... though he's got a rugged handsomeness, I supose.

Kanyon: What's that got to do with anything? Anyway, he seems determined. He doesn't pay the people any attention. He looks ready to fight.

The two competitors circle each other, checking for a spot. Kaye begins by going for a tie up and whipping Smith into the ropes. As he comes off the ropes, Kaye meets him wiht a clothesline that sends him off his feet. She then drops a double elbow across his chest and stands up, pulling him with her. She knees him in the gut and then...

Kanyon: Tombstone! Right out of the gate!

Pam: She must be able to tell this guys gonna be tough. She's ready to take him out.

Kaye begins to pull Smith up again, but he counters with a kick to her midsection. While she's stunned, he smashes an elbow into her face. He whips her to the ropes and when she comes back, he runs at her, rolling her up in a school boy. The pin is too close to the ropes, however adn she is able to break the pin. Smith grabs her by the hair and pulls her up, delivering a pair of punches, then a karate kick to her chest before dropkicking her in the head. Kaye falls back, grabbing onto the ropes.

Smith whips her to the opposide side and catches her on the rebound with a Tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker. He drops down with her, in a side headlock, torquing the neck hard to one side. Kaye's gritting her teeth and is in pain as she claws and eventually powers out. Smith stands up, pulling her up with him...

But Kaye swings her fist, knocking him in the jaw, away from her. He's dazed a moment, long enough for her to slip behind him and give him a Full Nelson Slam. She pulls him up and clubs him a couple of times in the back of the head before grabbing his head and viciously slamming him back to the mat. She drops down, blatently choking him with a darkness choke.

The Ref counts off to 5 and she releases the chokehold. She stands up, pulling him up as well. She pops him up on her shoulders...

Pam: The Death Valley Heat Wave!! A signature move! And she'll probably go for a pi-- Smith sitting up! He's accually getting back up!

Kanyon: But he got up right inot her arms and this time... MELTDOWN! Another of Kaye's big moves... And He's still getting up! He's relentless! Upt to his feet and... BACK DOWN, Driven by Kaye's Big Boot!!

Pam: Kaye looks a little peeved, cuz He's starting to get up again, though groggilly now...

Kaye seems to be telegraphing as he stands up. As he turns around, she launches herself forward for what would be a devestating clothesline...

But John Smith ducks under it! Kaye stumbles, missing the hit, and Smith takes advantage, grabbing her from behind with a Tazzmission-like hold! He's pulling her down to the mat, wrapping his legs around her, pulling back hard. She's in pain... but gets the ropes!

Kanyon: Smith has been doing quite a number on her back, but luckilly she was able to get those ropes.

Kaye begins to get to her knees, when Smith rushes forward with a low dropkick to her face. He grabs her by the head and begins to punch furiously at her head. She's beginning to look a little dazed. He pulls her up and is about to give her a suplex-- she reverses and.. Has him up for a Burning Rain! SHe's about to... NO! Smith just toppled her over! She fell backwards with him and he turned her Burning Rain into a neckbreaker like move against her. He goes for the pin...

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Kickout by Kaye. Kaye begins to force herself to her feet and grabs at him, but Smith wrestlers her down to the ground. He then grabs her right leg and pulls it back in a Single Leg Crab! He's working the knee and quad hard with that move. She grabs her head in her arms, holding back the urge to tap! He lets the move go, only to drop an elbo across the back of her knee area. HE yells out, but he keeps a hold on that leg, kicking at the quad.

Pam: Haha! He's trying to make her like most of the Kliq! Quad Crips!

Kanyon: That's not funny... well... kinda, but not when we're talking about Kaye.

He lets go and calmly walks to the other side of the ring. She grabs the ropes and pulls herself up. She hobbles around toward him, favoring her right leg when--

Kanyon: Superkick! John Smith just nailed a massive kick right to Kaye's exposed jaw!

Pam: Ew! Her lips busted! Guess she shouldn't have cut that part off her mask. =0p

Kaye's head snaps back and she just stumbles backwards, falling right to her back. Smith

covers her, hooking the leg...

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2

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Th--

Kickout! Kaye kicks out on three, just barely. Smith seems slightly disturbed, but you can hardly notice it. He pulls Kaye up and whips her to the a corner. He then runs, about to do somthing, when she lifts her right foot up, letting him slam face first into it. He goes down, but this was obviously a spurr of the moment idea for Kaye, as she grabs her thigh, having hurt that leg he was working on. She shakes it out as he gets to his knees and she grabs him in the Stygian Sleeper. He struggles and with only her left leg, she can't get a good center of gravity to apply pressure. She lets him go after a minute and begins to punch at him. He manages a punch back, but she's beginning to run on adreniline and responds with a throat thrust, staggering him. She then grabs him and lifts him with a Gorilla Press. She wobbles, only being able to hold him wiht her left leg and almost drops him before she tosses him away.

She's panting hard and rakes her thumb across her throat. The crowd errupts. Smith gets to his feet and turns, getting grabbed around the neck by Kaye. She takes his right arm and puts in on her shoulder, setting him up for a Chokeslam... when he knocks her arm away with his left arm, wraps his right arm, which was on her shoulder, around her neck and DDTs her hard to the mat! He then grabs her right leg and wraps it into a painful looking Leg Vine! He torques hard on her legs for almost a full minute when...

Kaye Taps out!

*Ding ding*

Winner, by Submission: M-2 Vengeance John Smith

Smith lets go of the hold as soon as the bell rings. Kaye grabs her thigh, rolling on her back in pain for a moment.

Kanyon: This was a helluva match! I gotta say that M-2 Vengeance impressed us all!

Pam: Kaye's grabbing the ropes and getting up to her feet, hopping on her good leg a little.

Kanyon: What's this? Kaye's extending her hand! What sportsmanship but... John ignores it. As soon as he's finished with the match he doesn't look at her, the crowd... he's just leaving and walking up the ramp.

Pam: Man, what a wet blanket.

Kanyon: Well, Kaye seems a little miffed at his lack of interest in anything outside of the match. But she's not in any position to confront him about it, as she's helped out of the ring and up the ramp.

Pam: A great first match and a great inring debut! Stay with us for more!

******COMMERCIAL*******

April 11

***********************

"Moonlight Sonata" by Beethoven plays as The Black Scorpion makes his way to the ring but is suddenly attacked by Bullwhip from behind, thus starting the match.

Bullwhip begins by bringing out his "working tools" as he now hammers away on the Scorpion with a chain wrapped around his fist. He smiles at the fact that he's doing the nWo a huge favor as he continues, but is then pushed back by The Black Scorpion. The Scorpion now fights back with a few right hands of his own as Bullwhip defends with his own right hands. The Scorpion now counters with an Irish Whip to the ropes, and delivers Bullwhip a hard clothesline on the return. The Scorpion grabs a chair and hits Bullwhip with a barrage of chairshots to the head, busting him open during the process.

The blood drips from Bullwhip's forehead down to the sides to his face as he is actually smiling...

"You've done it now..."

Bullwhip now tackles him down and rapidly punches him, remembering his old UFC days. Bullwhip jumps off as he now get in position and goes for a Chaos but the Scorpion moves out the way, running into the turnbuckle post. Bullwhip turns around but is then caught in a Corner Body Splash. Bullwhip is dazed as the Scorpion now hits the Scorpion Death Drop for a two-count. He picks him up and goes for another Scorpion Death Drop and gets another two-count.

Frustrated, the Scorpion now grabs a bat and hits Bullwhip with multiple blows to the rib area.

Obviously trying to severely injure him. The Scorpion walks away from the stunned Bullwhip as he now sets up a glass table in a corner. He comes back and drags Bullwhip torwards the table as he goes for a catapult, but is kicks torwards the table. Bullwhip gets back up as he now sees the opportunity to go for an Extreme Chaos, but still feels the pain from the Scorpion's earlier attack. This gives the Scorpion time to recover as he now goes for another attack, but Bullwhip, playing possum, hits a spine buster for a two-count. He pins him again, but the same result. Again, but no go.

Bullwhip picks up the Scorpion as he now hits a powerbomb onto the chair from earlier. He now singals the crowd that he's going to unmask the Scorpion. He grabs the Scorpion by the head as he goes for the removal, but right before he slides it off, the Scorpion grabs the bat and hits him again in the mid section.

The Scorpion has a bit trouble readjusting the mask; this give Bullwhip to recover and to hit an impromptu Extreme Chaos for the 3-Count.

Winner: Bullwhip

Bullwhip now slides out of the ring, as he clutches his ribs in pain, seething...

**Commercial Break**

"Don't Mess With Me!" by Lil' Kim hits as Lexay and Shakira walks out to the ring to a mix reaction of cheers (males only) and jeers.

Lexay grabs the mic. "You know... it's pretty strange that Akiko won the 2003 EAW Goddess of the year! I mean, here's someone who didn't even want to win, and she did? But that's not the main thing that bothers me. Nononono... I mean, everyone's been jumping on me. Screaming at me, cussing at me, 'You're a fucking bitch, Lexay! You're nothing but a dirty whore! Then Kari Gibson had the nerve to make a few hooker references at me! I mean, just because I'm too hot for ya, doesn't give you the right to start hatin' on me! If this is about what happened with Ari, then I'm sorry. Okay, I said it! I'm sorry!"

The fans apparently aren't buying it as a "Bull-Shit" chant builds up. "You don't believe me? You don't believe that I'm sorry? You don't believe that I show remorse for what happened with Ari? You don't believe that I show remorse for what happened with Krise and how I dumped her for Shakira? Well... I only have one thing to say to you... ˇJódalo! But in your language... SCREW YOU!"

The fans now boo loudly as Lexay continues. "You think that I don't have a heart? You think that I'm selfish? Well who the hell asked you, anyway? You don't know me! You people don't know a damn thing about me! You can't..."

Shakira takes the mic away from Lexay. "Okay, Lex... calm down. No need to get angry because of some fickle-minded morons. The most important thing is that you know you're sorry! And all of you loved ones know that you're sorry. But these putas?" She scoffs, "I could care less what they think. Because quite frankly, they could just kiss my Latina ass. But when you mentioned Krise just now, it made me feel a bit guilty. Kinda hit me in the heart, y'know? That's why, Krise... I know you're in the back because you're so much into Lexay that you still don't realize that it's over. Why don't you come out here so you can talk... no tricks, just girl talk."

Kanyon: Well, Lexay and her apparent new tag partner... let's just call them Las Putas, are running their mouth--and Krise coming out from the back?!

Pamela: Well, she just wants to talk...

Kanyon: I doubt that... I don't think it's a wise move, and Krise seems to be having second thoughts.

Shakira speaks, "Hey Krise! What's up? Feeling okay? No, I'm not going to mock you, like my dear friend Lexay did. You see, I like to be upfront with people. Y'know, be honest about what's on my mind. You don't need to BS anyone, you know that right? In fact, you're not so bad as a person. Lexay should've been upfront with you in the first place, otherwise we wouldn't be in this situation. You deserve better than that? Hell, I would be pissed if she did the same thing with me! In fact, you deserve..."

Shakira turns around, as she and Lexay then, at opposite sides, give her Superkicks in stereo.

"YOU DESERVE TO BE KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!" Shakira shouts as she laughs at the fallen Krise.

Lexay now places on the El Scorpion Pica on Krise as Shakira goes on the top rope and hits a Frog Splash on her. Lexay still has on the hold as Shakira goes for another one.

Kanyon: Trish coming to the ring, steel chair in hand!! CHAIR SHOT TO THE BACK OF SHAKIRA!! Lexay letting go of the hold--tosses the chair--nails Lexay in the face! Irish whips Lexay into the corner... charging in--Monkey Flip by Trish and Lexay lands on the chair!! Up on the top rope now--STRATUS BOMB!!! Shakira pulling Lexay to safety... Trish thinking about giving chase... but going to check on Krise!

Pamela: Well, I guess you can't really blame her... I mean... Lexay lied!

Kanyon: Uh-huh... and you're so surprised, eh?

Pamela: Eeeeh... a little.

**Commercial Break**

Back to the ring... "Voices" cues up as the EAW Cruiserweight Champion, Hokuto Lyger heads to the ring, focus in her eyes as she looks to the cheering crowd. She smiles a little, then heads up to the steps and slides through the ropes.

Kanyon: Welcome back to Riot Rulz, folks! We're still in Vice City! And this is our EAW Cruiserweight title match!! Erica Angel has a chance to reclaim the title, the first singles title she won since she first arrived, Pamela!

Pamela: You know what I wanna see, Kanyon?

Kanyon: No, what?

Pamela: Hokuto go into the Seal of Blood. >=D And beat the living crap out of that prissy weird-girl Erica! I mean... GEEZ! Can you believe that she would fall in love with something like... DEREK?! o_O; Some all-American, girl next door image that... while deep down, she's got more kinks than Lilith EVER did!! O_O;

Kanyon: Hey, if that's what she wants, more power to her, Pammy.

Pamela: But... but it's wrong! o_o; Derek's... eww, a herm... and... and shi's more female than male! What is WRONG with Erica?!

Scene switch to Erica, who's in back watching Kanyon and Pamela talk about this... her arms crossed, eyes narrowed, she then turns and heads down towards the stage.

Pamela: ...

Kanyon: I think she's gonna come out here and let you know straight out, girl.

Pamela: Well... bring her on! >=/

I THINK THEY SHOOT 'CAUSE THEY WANT IT!!!!!

"Bullets" cues up and the red white and blue fireworks explode from the stage as Erica Angel, wearing a new red singlet and a white T-shirt over it reading "got freedom?" on the front steps out to the stage. The fans cheer her loudly and begin to chant "U-S-A! U-S-A!" She looks to the fans and nods in approval as she heads down the aisle... but instead of going straight to the ring she makes a bee-line straight to Kanyon and Pamela!

Kanyon: Uh oh... if this turns into a catfight...

Pamela: Ha! I welcome this!

Pamela stands up and stares at Erica.

Pamela: What? You want some of this? Huh? You want--

Suddenly Erica hauls off and punches Pamela in the jaw!! This causes the crowd to let off a huge pop as Pamela drops like a stone! Satisfied Erica then slides into the ring, slipping off the T-shirt and throwing it to the crowd before going into her Keiji Muto-ish pose.

Kanyon: o_O; Uh... wow, Pamela? You okay?

Pamela: x.x; Stars... stars and stripes forever... eeeee...

Kanyon: Uh... right. Well, We got both competitors in the ring now. Erica and Hokuto both bowing to each other in the traditional Japanese style! Referee Dave Hebner calls for the bell, and we are good to go!

Title Match
Hokuto (C) Vs. Erica Angel

Kanyon: Erica and Hokuto tie up-- Erica punches Hokuto in the gut-- GUTWRENCH SUPLEX! Turns around and drops the leg on Hokuto's back! Pick up by Erica-- snap jabs to Hokuto's jaw, not unlike what you got for those remarks, Pamela!

Pamela: Bite me, Mortis. >=0p

Kanyon: Don't go there. WHOA-- ERICA WITH THE HIGH ANGLE BACKDROP! Erica's on fire from the early start! She's set to win the strap from Hokuto!

Pamela: BOOO! KICK HER ASS, HOKUTO!

Kanyon: Erica now, ROLLING LEG SCISSORS! But Hokuto quickly, wisely gets to the ropes! Erica gets up-- WAIT, HOKUTO GRABS ERICA AND-- ROLLING ARMBAR!! ERICA HOOKS THE ROPES WITH HER FEET! Hokuto breaks the hold-- wait-- ANOTHER VARIATION OF THE ARMBAR! This time AWAY FROM THE ROPES! ERICA'S IN PAIN!

Pamela: YEAH! RIP HER ARM OFF, ERICA!!! >=D

Kanyon: ERICA GRABS HOKUTO'S FEET! Is she-- WHOA! SHE YANKED ON HOKUTO'S LEG! FORCING HOKUTO TO RELEASE THE HOLD! WHAT A UNIQUE COUNTER!

Pamela: Or Erica has a foot fetish... I wouldn't put it past her, with her shacking up with the Living Zoo that is Derek... >=/

Kanyon: Be nice... Erica and Hokuto gets up-- HOKUTO WITH A WICKED SPIN KICK TO THE SIDE OF ERICA'S HEAD! ERICA ROLLS WITH IT AND GRABS HOKUTO-- WHIPS TO THE ROPES! AND-- HAMMER OF JUSTICE-- NO! HOKUTO WISELY SOMERSAULTS FROM IT! IF THAT CONNECTED IT WOULD'VE BEEN ALL OVER! ERICA'S THE MASTER OF THAT MOVE, THE SHINING WIZARD!

Pamela: Big whoop. >=0p

Kanyon: HOKUTO WITH A SPINNING BACK ELBOW TO ERICA! ERICA ROLLS WITH IT AND-- HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO HOKUTO! ERICA NOW, CLIMBING THE TOP ROPE!! MOONSAULT! HOKUTO ROLLS AWAY-- NO! ERICA CAUGHT TOO MUCH AIR AND IT HITS!!! THE PIN!

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Kanyon: TOO SOON! HOKUTO KICKS OUT! BOTH GET UP AND LOOK TO EACH OTHER... I think they're enjoying this match! They circle each other now... HOKUTO ATTACKS! ELBOW! PUNCH! KICK--NO, DUCKED BY ERICA! ERICA PUNCHES--HOKUTO BLOCKS!! ERICA KICKS HOKUTO! AND-- SMALL PACKAGE BY ERICA!!

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Kanyon: HOKUTO KICKS OUT! HOKUTO UP QUICKER THAN ERICA-- ARM DRAG! ERICA ROLLS TO HER FEET, GRABS HOKUTO-- MEXICAN STRETCH BOMB! FOR THE PIN!

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Kanyon: HOKUTO GOT THE ROPES! ERICA RELEASES THE PIN! HOKUTO-- GRABS ERICA AND LOCKS IN THE GUILLOTINE CHOKE!! ERICA COUNTERS! ROLLING HOKUTO OVER! AND OVER AND-- THROWS HER OUT FROM THE BOTTOM RUNG! HOKUTO LANDS TO HER FEET AND QUICKLY RUSHES BACK IN! GRABS ERICA--

Kanyon: ANOTHER ARMBAR!! BUT ERICA'S FOOT IS TOO CLOSE TO THE ROPES! HOKUTO RELEASES THE HOLD! ERICA TRIPS HOKUTO! AND-- SHINING ELBOW DROP-- CONNECTS! SHADES OF ONE OF HER MENTORS, KEIJI MUTO! ERICA PICKS HOKUTO UP-- RUNNING KNEE STRIKES! AND-- AXE BOMBER CLOTHESLINE TO HOKUTO! HOKUTO GETS UP-- NO! JAPANESE ARM DRAG BY ERICA! Erica picks Hokuto up-- HOKUTO ACTS!!! SHOTEI TO ERICA'S JAW SENDS HER DOWN! AND NOW--

Kanyon: TRIANGLE HOLD!!!

Pamela: WHOO-HOO! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! ERICA HAS TO TAP!!

Kanyon: ERICA'S REFUSING TO TAP OUT THOUGH!! SHE'S TRYING TO POWER OUT!!! LOOK AT HER TRYING TO KIPPUP OUT OF SUCH A HOLD!! SHE-- OH! ERICA MANAGES TO RAKE HOKUTO'S EYES TO GET OUT OF THE HOLD! SHADES OF HER BROTHER'S COUNTERPART KURT ANGLE, BUT IT GOT THE JOB DONE!

Pamela: Cheater. >=0p

Kanyon: Erica gets whippd to the ropes! SUNSET FLIP BY HOKUTO-- ERICA COUNTERS! SITTING DOWN-- NO! BRIDGE OUT BY HOKUTO--AND A WICKEDLY STIFF KICK TO THE BACK OF ERICA'S HEAD! SHADES OF YOSHIHIRO TAJIRI!! Erica manages to get to her feet-- HOKUTO GRABS ERICA-- SHE COUNTERS, SPINNING AROUND AND-- DANGEROUS QUEEN SUPLEX PIN!!! AKIRA HOKUTO'S FINISHER!!! PIN!

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THR--!!!

Kanyon: NO!!! JUST BARELY!!! HOKUTO KICKED OUT AT THE LAST SECOND THERE!!!

Pamela: Whew... good. That cheater, using another person's finishing move. What's this world coming to?

Kanyon: Erica grabs Hokuto-- NO, HOKUTO COUNTERS!!

Kanyon: LYGERBOMB!! BUT HOKUTO DOESN'T GO FOR THE PIN! PICK UP BY HOKUTO FROM BEHIND-- SHOTEI TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! HOKUTO RUSHES TO THE TOP ROPE! AND-- IS SHE-- I DON'T THINK SHE CAN COVER THIS MUCH-- BODY SPLASH-- CONNECTS!!!!! RIGHT INTO ERICA'S BACK!!!!

Pamela: WHOO-HOOO!!!!!

Kanyon: Hokuto grabs Erica-- Irish Whip-- NO, COUNTER! AND ERICA-- WHEELBARROW POWERBOMB BY HOKUTO-- NO! ERICA COUNTERS TO A FACECRUSHER!! Hokuto's getting fustrated... rushes in-- NO, ERICA WITH A JUDO HIP TOSS TO HOKUTO! ERICA RUSHES TO THE TOP ROPE AND--

Kanyon: CORKSCREW BODY PRESS!!! FOR THE PIN! NEW CHAMPION?!

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THREE--!!!

Kanyon: NO!!! SO SO CLOSE!!!! 2.99999% of a three count!!! Hokuto-- JAPANESE ARM DRAG OF HER OWN ON ERICA! ERICA UP-- AND A SPINNING WHEEL KICK ON ERICA! ERICA-- ROLLS AWAY! RUSHES AT HOKUTO! LEAPFROGGING OVER HER! GRABS HER AND-- REVERSE DVD!!! ERICA PICKS HOKUTO UP-- HOKUTO SLIPS BEHIND HER AND KICK HER LEG OUT FROM UNDER HER!! PICK UP BY HOKUTO-- ERICA COUNTERS!! OLYMPIC SLAM!!!!! ERICA DOES THE OLYMPIC SLAM!!!!!

Pamela: AUGH!!!!! O_O!!

Kanyon: And it looks like-- YES! SET UP TIGHT! ERICA'S MEASURING HOKUTO-- AND--!!

Kanyon: HAMMER OF JUSTICE--!! Huh?

Pamela: HOKUTO CAUGHT ERICA-- IS SHE-- YESSS!!

Kanyon: CRUCIFIX LYGERBOMB!!! FOR THE PIN--

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THREE!!!

Kanyon: SHE DID IT!!! HOKUTO RETAINS HER TITLE!!! WHAT A HARD FOUGHT MATCH FROM BOTH WOMEN!!! AND WHAT A FINISH!!! HOKUTO SEEMINGLY BEATEN ONCE ERICA LANDED THE HAMMER OF JUSTICE, BUT HOKUTO BLOCKED IT AND REVERSED IT INTO A CRUCIFIX LYGERBOMB!!

Winner and STILL EAW Cruiserweight Champion: Hokuto Lyger

Kanyon: Erica looks absolutely disappointed with herself here...

Pamela: Awww... is the little freak girl gonna cry?! ^_^ Too bad... you're a LOSER, Erica! Go home and let Zoo Lad Lass boink you a couple of times!

Erica suddenly stares daggers at Pamela!

Pamela: ... uh oh...

Kanyon: ERICA'S SLIDING OUT OF THE RING AND-- Oh, crap--

Kanyon moves out of the way as Erica begins to wail on Pamela!! Pamela's unable to defend herself as Erica suddenly sets Pamela up--

KANYON: OH MY GOD!!! EMERALD FROISON-- RIGHT INTO THE SPANISH ANNOUNCERS' TABLE!!! ERICA'S SNAPPED! ONE CRASS COMMENT TOO MANY AND NOW PAMELA, MY CO-ANNOUNCER, IS LAID OUT!!!! FOLKS, WE... WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!!!

***

Mmmmmmm... pie pants... =D~~~~~~

***

Kanyon: We're back, folks... and if you just missed it, here we go again... check out this replay of Erica Angel! One crass comment from my partner, Pamela Paulshock, about Erica and Derek and Erica just plain snapped! Attacking Pamela and then... check out the Emerald Frosion! Pamela landed head-first into the Spanish Announcers' table and demolished it with it! o_O; Well, Pamela's seeing Aerith now, so she'll be okay by the next match... our main event! Oseiko Vs. Trish! Tournament match! We'll be right back!!

***

**Commercial Break**

"Little Busters" by the Pillows begins to play as we come back from break...

Kanyon: Welcome back to EAW Riot Rulz, everyone!! Pamela... will not be joining me for this match due to Erica Coming up now, the first semi-final match of the EAW World Title shot tournament. It's been a looong and exciting tournament thus far, but now it's down to four EAW stars: the three members of Kyouki Shoujo and Stone Cold Steve Austin, the newest member of... the nWo. So, at least one of the girls will be going to the finals, but will Akiko be able to get by Stone Cold? That question will be answered next week, but presently, we will find out one of the finalists after this match!

Capetta: The following semi-final tournament match is scheduled for one fall with a ten minute time limit, and is under no disqualification rules. Introducing first, from Toronto, Ontario, she stands 5'4" and weighs in at 124 pounds--Trish Stratus!!

Kanyon: Trish is the newest member of Kyouki Shoujo--and the only Westerner of the group, as well. The fans here in Vice City showing their support to her as she makes her way to the ring!

"Little Busters" continues to play continuously...

Capetta: And her opponent... from Hokkaido, Japan... she stands 5'7" 117 lbs... Oseiko Bloodgrave-Connelly!!

Kanyon: Trish has a lot of handicaps perhaps going into this match. Physical as well as mental... there seems to be some strain between her and Jeff, and that's something this young kunoichi will find to be to her advantage... Oseiko getting to the ring, and climbing up to the top rope. Big cheers from the crowd, however, I really question Oseiko's 'the fans are always right' philosophy... I personally don't agree with it. Nevertheless, here we go...

Oseiko climbs down from the turnbuckle, and the two girls move towards each other, shake hands, and back away as the bell is rung...

Kanyon: Trish charging at Oseiko--HURRACANRANA right at the start of the match, and Trish punching away, on fire right out of the gate! Waistlock, attempted follow up--back elbow by Oseiko stops it, and a quick 180 turn crescent kick by Oseiko!! Another one to the midsection, and Oseiko with a side headlock--shoots her off into the ropes, Trish up and over on the rebound--catches Oseiko with a bulldog! Oseiko back up--kick ducked by Trish, hammerlock applied, hoists her up and drops her throat first onto the top rope! Oseiko dazed, and Trish with right hands flying now--clotheslines Oseiko over the top rope!

Trish showboating, but Oseiko holding on, sliding under the ropes back into the ring, DROPKICK to the chest by Oseiko!! Oseiko whipping Trish to the corner... running towards the corner and a spinning heel kick! Oseiko flips over the ropes onto the apron... springboard clothesline by Oseiko!! Cover...

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ONE!

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Kickout before two.

Kanyon: Oseiko pulling Trish up--elbow into the gut, a pair of knees, and a HEADLOCK TAKEOVER by Trish! Trish then switching to the legs, rolling over and hooking Oseiko's legs. Trish driving her knee into the back of Oseiko's, and pulling back on the leg. Maybe unwise for her to try this on a master of submission moves, but certainly smart if she can pull it off. But wait... Oseiko grabbing her legs, and now going for the Sunrise Five-Lock--Trish quickly to the outside of the ring before Oseiko can lock it on! Trish trying to get back into the ring--FRONT DROPKICK by Oseiko into the face!! Trish down on the mat on the outside, and Trish in trouble... Oseiko hits the far ropes--rebounding back, springing over the--

*WHAM!!!*

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!"

Kanyon: TRISH OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A CHAIRSHOT!! The combined momentum of that swing and Oseiko's dive caught her right in the forehead!!

"HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!"

Kanyon: Trish making intelligent use of that steel chair now, attacking Oseiko's knees with it. Now climbing up on the apron... running elbow drop on the steel chair, shades of Cactus Jack!! Tossing the chair in the ring now, and now Oseiko as well. The fall must take place in the ring--hooks the leg--

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ONE!

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TWO!--kickout! Amazing, seeing as how Oseiko must have been knocked loopy from that chair.

Oseiko now getting up to her feet, Trish whipping her--no, reversal by Oseiko, back kick on Trish! Oseiko, twisting the arm now, kicks to the upper back while holding onto the hammerlock--turns it into a flashback!! Backflipping over the ropes onto the apron, and Oseiko going to the top rope... GUILLOTINE LEGDROP across the back of the neck!! Cover now--

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ONE!

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TWO!

... Kickout!

Kanyon: Oseiko trying to step it up here, knowing the EAW World Title shot hangs in the balance, but seems hesitant to use that chair right in grasping range. Pulling up Trish--snap suplex, nicely done... holding on still, anoth--NO! Trish dropping her down face first! Oseiko dazed--kick into the midsection, and a DDT onto the steel chair!! Cover by Trish...

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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... Kickout!

Kanyon: Trish is NOT SHY about using her surroundings to her advantage, and that could give her the advantage she needs... removing the turnbuckle pad off the top rope... Trish now picking up Oseiko--FACE FIRST into the exposed turnbuckle!! Scooped up and tied into the Tree of Woe... swing-and-a-shot-to-the-legs of Oseiko!! Oseiko falling off the ropes and holding them in pain, and trying to roll out of the ring. Trish to the top rope, and springs off with a cross body!! Both of them back out onto the floor! Oseiko trying to crawl away, and back up--ROUNDHOUSE KICK by Trish!! Trish tossing Oseiko back into the ring, and she's been very aggressive tonight thus far. Trish sets up the chair... and looks like a page out of Raven's book---to the ropes--NO! Reversal by Oseiko, and a leg lariat by Oseiko to the chest! Trish dazed, and Oseiko with a Kumouchikomu as she gets up! Cover by Oseiko...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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... Kickout!

Kanyon: Oseiko getting up, going for a German Supl--modified Stunner by Trish!! And snapmares her over! Dropkick into the upper back!! Locking on a full nelson on Oseiko... Oseiko trying to get back up to her feet, and--BUTT BUSTER ONTO THE CHAIR!! Have a seat, Oseiko!! Trish going up to the top rope, and SPEA--Oseiko throwing herself back-first onto the mat!! Trish either dove into the edge of the chair or took the boots to the face!! Oseiko now realizing she must use the chair somehow to stay in the tournament... setting up Trish in the corner... shoteis into the throat... Oseiko charging in--Trish recovering and dropping her face first into the turnbuckle!! Trish grabbing the leg, and dragon screw whipping Oseiko the mat... up in a flash, and WHISPER IN THE WIND by Trish!! Pulling up Oseiko now... Twist of Fate--countered by Oseiko into an Atomic Drop! Yanks the legs under from Oseiko--Compactor!!--

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ONE!

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TWO!

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... Trish kicks out of that predicament!!

Kanyon: Oseiko looking shocked, and waiting on Trish to get up, and she kicks the chair out of the ring!! A superkick would be a good option if Trish hadn't given her bad wheels here... Oseiko rushing in Deja Vu--NO!! Countering into a backbreaker by Trish!! Trish pulling up Oseiko--Backslide!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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... Kickout!! Oseiko up, and rushing in... leapfrog by Trish--monkeyflips Oseiko--KUMO NO SASU by... TRISH?!

Cover!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Thr--NO!!

Trish going up to the top rope... Oseiko dazed--Flying Hurricanran--counter to a short powerbomb!! And Oseiko turning it into a Kumo No Amimono!!

Trish locked into the hold... and this could be it for Trish's title aspirations... Trish climbing between Oseiko's legs..towards the ropes!! Oseiko still trying to hold on, but the move has become more of a Boston Crab... closer, closer... TRISH GETS THE BOTTOM ROPE... but there are no rope breaks in this match... the referee telling her, and in the heat of battle she'd forgotten... but still trying, trying--POWERS OUT OF THE KUMO NO AMIMONO!! Oseiko is in shock... Trish back up with the help off the ropes--kicking at Oseiko who charges in, and a back brain kick surprises Oseiko!! Dazed and on the ropes... Trish with the headlock, could be the Stratusfaction--no, Oseiko slipping free--Trish hits the far ropes--Oseiko the near--CRUCIFIX PIN on Trish!!---

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THREE!!!!

*ding, ding, ding*

Capetta: The winner of this match, Oseiko!

"Little Busters" plays again...

Kanyon: The crowd on their feet!! The upper back and neck was targeted by Oseiko, and while she couldn't make Trish submit, she did catch her with a surprise pin there... Oseiko helping Trish up, and Trish raising Oseiko's hand!! The Girls of the Wild Joy hugging! Oseiko advances in the tournament, but the bond between these girls is still strong... thank you everyone at home, and this has been EAW Riot Rulz!! For the unconscious Pamela Paulshock, I'm Chris Kanyon, and see you next time!!!

™ & © EAW Inc., 2003