Live from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada!
(The Scene opens as we see Jim Bucko and John West sitting announce table.
Jim Bucko has a batman cape at ringside. The EAW Logo flashes on the
EAW-Tron, and then the Riot Rulz logo flashes up and we zoom in on the
announce table)
JW: Welcome to EAW Riot Rulz! We have a great show for you here tonight!
JB: Up first will be a No DQ Match...Dax Clark vs. Sabu!!
"Reclaim my Peace" cues up first....bringing out Dax Clark, with an assortment of weapons.
JB: I wonder if Dax has a keg in there?
JW: There's no need to rag on him for that....Dax is clean, Jim.
JB: Who said there was anything wrong with being an alcoholic?
"Huka Blues" cues up next....bringing out Sabu with some weapons of his own.
JW: I tell you....this match will be positively brutal....and might even compare to our main event, inside the Hell's Asylum.
The bell is rung, and the match begins....
JW: And we're off....Sabu and Dax locking up now.....Sabu sends Dax into the ropes...chair shot misses....Dax hits the other ropes....flying elbow sends the chair into the face of Sabu!! Dax goes for a cover
.
.
.
Kickout before the one!!
JB: It will take more that that to beat a maniac like Sabu!!
JW: Dax grabs that crowbar....Sabu up...ducks it....Sabu with a boot to the midsection....there's a snap suplex!! Now follows up with a legdrop! Sabu grabbing that crowbar now. Bringing it down repeatedly on the back of Dax Clark!! Now sends Dax into the ropes...tilt a whirl backbreaker coming up--no, reverse into a headscissors!! Sabu up no...DROPKICK from Dax!!! Dax now has...
JB: A baseball bat!! Hit one out of the park, Dax!!
JW: Dax winding up.....Sabu back up....busts that baseball bat over the head of Sabu!!! Dear God!!!
JB: It's outta there!!!
JW: Cover by Dax
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.
One
.
.
.
One
.
.
.
Two
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.
NO!!! Sabu manages to kick out!!
JB: Maybe...but Dax is ready and waiting with a steel chair!!
JW: Dax charges in with that chair...DROP TOE HOLD from Sabu!! Dax hits the chair face first!!
JB: Sabu reaching into his trash can....Oh no...that's....a Playstation 2!! Don't do it Sabu!! I'll pay you good money for that!!
JW: Sabu grabbing the ankles of Dax....and....SMASHES THAT PLAYSTATION 2 into the groin of Dax Clark!!
JW: NOOOOOOOOO!!! *whimper*
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.
.
One
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Two
KICKOUT by Dax!!
JW: Dax narrowly escapes that...but Sabu has his crowbar....Dax reaching into his trashcan for a weapon of his own now....Sabu rushing in....Dax TASERS SABU!!!
JB: AHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! That's the way to show him!!
JW: Now Dax bringing that crowbar down upon the ankle of Sabu...grabbing the taser again....shocking Sabu again!! Cover
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One
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.
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TWO
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Three!!
Winner by Pinfall >>> Dax Clark
**Commercial Break**
JW: And we're back! I calmed down Jim Bucko aka Batman.
***Commerical Break***
("Main Title from Halloween" by John Carpenter hits the arena as Haku comes
***Commercial Break***
JW: And we're back!
JB: Sorry about that little out burst! I had too much sugar...
JW: Our first match should be a good one.
JB: It is a STUDENT vs. STUDENT MATCH!
JW: With Jyushin Lyger as the special guest referee!
JB: That should be a great match!
JW: It is White Widow versus Kairi Lyger
JB: Here they come now!
("Strobe's Nanofushi" by Kodo hits the arena as White Widow comes down to the
ring)("Black" by Sevendust hits the arena as Kairi Lyger comes down to the
ring)
(Ding, Ding, Ding)
JB: That's the bell and this match is underway!
JW: White Widow goes right after Lyger and they are exchanging punches.
JB: Clothesline by Widow and covers...
(1)
(2)
JW: Kick out after two!
JB: Widow goes back on the attack again just punching away!
JW: She hits the Komo Nu Sachu!
JB: Lyger is down and hurt!
JW: She covers Lyger...
(1)
(2)
JB: Again she kicks out!
JW: How does this woman keep kicking out?
JB: PMS?
JW: You can't say that on National TV
JB: It's not a swear!
JW: You just can't say it!
JB: Okay, well Widow goes back on the attack and hits a piledriver!
JW: Widow hits the Kumouchikomu and she goes to the top rope and hits a
moonsault...
(1)
(2)
JW: Damnit! How does this woman keep kicking out!
JB: I already told you...PM...
JW: I told you don't say it....Widow has Lyger in the middle of the ring and
she is going for the...
JB: Bakumo No Amimono! SHE COVERS!
(1)
(2)
(3)
JW: Jyushin Lyger counted the three! Jyushin Lyger counted the three!
JB: We will be right back!
down to the ring)("RTC Theme" hits the arena as Steven Richards with Ivory
comes down to the ring)
(Ding, Ding, Ding)
JB: That's the bell and this one is underway!
JW: Haku is going right after Richards with some punches.
JB: 'Toungue of Death Grip' Punch!
JW: He hits a powerbomb and he covers...
(1)
(2)
JB: NO!
JW: He kicked out after two!
JB: BANG! Huge Sidkick from Haku and he covers again...
(1)
(2)
JW: Still only a two count! How does 'white socks' keep kicking out?
JB: He Humps him!
JW: You can't say that on TV!
JB: SORRY!
JW: Haku is delivering a lot of punches and Steven Richards gets knocked on
the floor!
JB: I think he's going for it!
JW: THE TONGAN DEATH GRIP! He hits it...
JB: How long can Steven hold it...
JW: About five seconds! Steven gives up!
JB: HAKU WINS!
JW: We wil be right back!
JB: The next match should be a good one!
("The Fragile" by Nine Inch Nails hits the arena as Lady Felinx comes out to
the ring)("Return to Innosence" by Engima hits the arena as Lupe comes out to
the ring)
(Ding, Ding, Ding)
JW: That's the bell and this one is underway!
JB: They are exchanging punches in the middle of the ring.
JW: Lupe with an uppercut and hits a Hanging Brain Buster!
JB: She covers...
(1)
(2)
JW: Kick out after two!
JB: Lupe goes back on the attack.
JW: Lupe hits a piledriver.
JB: She brings her on the turnbuckle and hits a Tornado DDT and covers...
(1)
(2)
(3)
JW: LUPE WINS!
**Commercial Break**
West: Welcome back folks! Up next will be our main event! It is a sick...twisted...and unsafe match, designed by Ryokami not long before he left the EAW.
Bucko: Yup...he may be a si ck, murderous psychopath...he may not be much in the looks department, but he can come up with some great ideas for a match!
From here, we get a shot of the recently lowered Hell's Asylum. The Cell is laced with barbed wire, and the whole Cell is electrified. The ring ropes are barbed wire. The ring looks like a trash dump, filled with bent and broken chairs, some of which are wrapped in barbed wire. A few tables and pieces of tables lay at ringside. Inside the ring, staple guns, rusty tools such as rakes, shovels, and a pitchfork lay scattered about. Other junk is present, but we are unable to tell what is all is with the brief glimpse we get....
West: I don't think we can possibly even imagine what kind of action we're in store for tonight. Bad blood runs deep between S&M and Scorpion's Pyre. Spike and Morty claim to be the Tag Team of the New Millenium--
Bucko: And they prove time and again that they are. The Pyre just has been asking for this more and more....they've had tag title shots at Spike and Morty--and they failed!! They've had an Extreme rules match for the titles--and they failed!! And after tonight, they'll fail again!! Nothing can stop the champs!!
"We're In This Together" by Nine Inch Nails begins to play, bringing out Kaye and Sasori Shirono. Kaye's mask is already on her face, and she gives a burning stare through it at the ring as her and Sasori walk towards it. A referee unlocks the Cell, allowing the two to get inside it.
West: Two teams will go inside that Cell...only one leaves it. Remember, this match will be Last Man Standing rules...so this match cannot end via a pinfall or submission.
Bucko: To win this, you'll have to beat your opponent half to death. S&M will end up beating the Pyre 3/4 to death at least.
"DNR" by Testament begins to play....
West: I guess we'll find out soon enough...because here come the tag team champions!!
Spike and Morty--S&M, come out next. Towering over the rampway, they sneer at their opponents in the ring as they proudly carry their tag team gold.
West: I tell you...I don't know whether these two teams are the bravest I've ever seen, or just completely lacking sense. However, this match is guaranteed to have a winner...whether it be S&M retaining or Scorpion's Pyre becoming new tag team champions!
Bucko: Not only that, but I guarantee someone is going to get f***ed up tonight!!
Spike and Morty enter the Cell. After climbing into the ring, they hand over the tag team titles to the referee, who holds them up to signify they are on the line, then signals for the bell...
West: There's the bell...and this contest is off to a rousing start as Spike and Sasori start off in the middle of the ring exchanging blows....Sasori somehow managing to stay in there with that giant....there's a low blow from Sasori!! Sasori going for a DDT--blocked!! NORTHERN LIGHTS SPIKE-PLEX!! Way too early in the match for Sasori to go for a move like that. Spike now wrapping his fist in a broken chain.
Bucko: It may be missing a few links...but Spike LOOKS like a missing link....
West: Spike pulling up Sasori...goes for a right hand--Sasori ducks under...jumps on the back of Spike!! Sleeperhold applied...no, it appears to be a chokehold of some sort--Spike snapmares his off!! Spike now pounding his fist into the top of the head of Sasori...with that chain wrapped around it. Sasori tries to break free...Spike whips him with that chain!!
Bucko: Whips...chains...they're old friends to Spike and Morty.
West: Morty and Kaye are out....Kaye with an axehandle to the back of Spike...Morty and Kaye duking it out now. While this is a tag team match, with no actual rule except Last person standing, this could easily turn into a Tornado match.
Bucko: Except of course, that only the legal persons in the ring can win or lose the match.
West: Correct. Morty dumps Kaye to the outside...and Sasori is back up...ready to tangle with the massive Spike. Spike whips Sasori into those barbed wire ring ropes!! Grabs the shovel....swing and a miss....Sasori with a clothesline!! Sasori grabs the shovel now....
Bucko: Spike with the pitchfork!!!
West: How fitting...since he looks like the devil himself now. Dueling tools now!! Spike and Sasori clash those together....
Bucko: Kaye into the steel steps!!!
West: Morty and Kaye are brawling on the outside...but what matters is what is happening in the ring. Spike receives the sharp end of that shovel into the midsection!! Sasori now--Spike blocks that second shot....fires Sasori into the corner...AHHH!!...Spike charges in now....RUNNING BOOT to the HEAD!!! Sasori dumped straight over the top!!
Bucko: Over...the...top wire!!
West: Morty stands up the apron, gets the tag from Spike. Morty now follows Sasori out...rolls him back in....Kaye back up on the apron...although she took a bit of a beating on the outside...
Bucko: Okay, Sasori...it's Morty's turn!!
West: Morty now taking control of Sasori....uh oh...is that....an oil drum Spike is rolling in?!?
Bucko: Black gold!!! Texas T!!
West: Morty now setting him up....IRON MAIDEN!!! And that drum was full!!!
Bucko: Aww damnit!! That mat is going to be ruined!!
One
TWO
THREE
FOUR
West: Sasori slowly rolling over onto his knees...Kaye now getting in....she goes for Morty....rocking the shorter member of S&M...whips him into the barbed wire!!! Spike and Kaye now at it....Sasori up now....Kaye setting up Spike...Sasori assists with a powerbomb!!! Right onto that busted up chair!!
One....
TWO....
West: Sasori now formally tags in Kaye...
THREE....
Four....
Five....
West: Here comes Morty in to make the save...he dropkicks Kaye....Sasori goes after him...Spike getting up now...Spike and Sasori pairing up again...Morty and Kaye the legal ones in this match.....Spike and Sasori take it outside.
Bucko: (In nagging voice) Take that fight outside!!
West: Morty now with a Suplex on Kaye....holds her up high in the air....aaaand...releases her!!
On the outside, Spike Irish Whips Sasori into the cage...aaaand...
West: Sasori has burst into flames!!!
Bucko: (Immitating NBA Jam announcer) HE'S ON FIRE!!! Stop, drop, and roll!!!
West: Sasori set on fire!!....and Spike still not showing mercy!!!
Bucko: He is so!!! He's trying to stomp out the fire!!
West: Well....I don't think that was his intention, but Spike is snuffing out the blaze. Back in the ring....Kaye taking control on Morty...she may be smaller but she is strong beyond belief!! She throws him into the corner...setting him up now...CHOKESLAM off the second rope!!
One....
Two....
Three...
Four....
Five....
Six....
Seven...
West: Morty getting back up!!! Spike in now....double teaming Kaye....Spike setting up Kaye....Morty pushing in that table....this could very well be it....
Bucko: Say goodbye to the Pyre!!
West: Morty setting up that table.....Spikeiwiththe divingpowerbomb!!!
Spike hoists up Kaye, dumping her through the table and snapping it in half sloppily.
West: MY GOD!!! Kaye put right through that table!!
One...
West: A smoking Sasori begins to try to climb his way onto the apron....
Two....
West: Morty trying to suplex Sasori in.....Sasori blocks it...
Three...
West: Knee into the midsection from Sasori...now.....I don't believe it!!!! Sasori about to suplex Morty out of the ring...*crunch* HE DOES!!! MORTY THROUGH THAT TABLE!!!
Four.....One....
West: Morty and Kaye both down now.....the referee counts accordingly....Spike going for Sasori...but Sasori springboarding over....DROPKICK!!! Turns the giant inside out!!
Five...Two...
Bucko: How in the hell did Sasori keep his balance on that wire?!
West: Sasori helps up Kaye now....
Three....
West: Kaye pulling up Spike now....double whip to the wire...the Pyre grab that shovel....clotheslines Spike with it to the outside!!!
Four...
West: Sasori climbs up top....takes to the air....Big Splash onto Morty!!!
Five...
West: Spike grabs a piece of that table....brings it down across the back of Sasori!!! But Kaye climbs up on that top....big lariat coming up....NO!!! KAYE CAUGHT BY SPIKE!!! Now shoves her into the cell!!!
Spike shoves Kaye back-first into the cell. Her body convulses as she is electricified.
Six....
Bucko: AHAHAHHAHA!!!! Sasori's been flame-broiled, and Kaye's been fried!!
West: Yes, but this match is far from over...although Kaye hits the ground again....
Bucko: Sasori rolls Spike in....tries to help his wife up.....
Seven....
West: Morty up now....all four persons climbing into the ring now....and a huge brawl ensues!!!
Bucko: Uh oh....this looks like....
West: Sasori hits his reverse DDT on Morty!! Spike with the Suffering's End on Kaye!!!
One....
West: Spike and Sasori now fighting again....Spike setting up Sasori for a powerbomb....reverse into a hurracanrana!!
Two....
West: No good of course...no pinfalls in this match. Spike kicking out...and now whips Sasori to the barbed wire...clothesline!!
Three...
Bucko: Spike looking to whip Sasori into the cell again....but Sasori reverses and sends him into the steel steps!!
Four...
West: Sasori charges in now....right into the big boot from Spike!!!
Five...
Bucko: Damn it....get up Morty!!!
West: Spike now with an inverted Atomic Drop on Sasori.....going for another...DDT from Sasori!!!
Six...
West: But Spike shaking it off!!! Spike getting up now...a little groggy, but otherwise fine. Sasori charges him again....right into the grasp of Spike!!!
Seven.....
West: Could be a chokeslam coming up.....LOW blow from Sasori saved it!!
Eight....
West: Sasori back off now....body press!! No!! Powerslam from Spike!! In the ring, Kaye and Morty are struggling to try to get back up!! Morty ahead of Kaye....
Nine....
West: But....Morty falls back down!!!
Ten....
*ding, ding, ding, ding!!!*
West: Kaye collapses as well...but she stood up before the ten count!!! NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!
Bucko: Wha??!
Winners by Last Person Standing >>> Scorpion's Pyre; New Tag Team Champions
Bucko: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
West: YES!!! We have new champs crowned tonight folks!!! Scorpion's Pyre!!