|
previous riot rulz shows :: main page |
|
Your hosts are Chris Kanyon and Pamela Paulshock! As the pyro blasts away and the Riot Rulz music blares on, we pan to the sold-out Acorn Center, sweeping over a cheering mob holding up various signs: "Akiko = X-Triple GODDESS!" "GO SONNETTE!!!" "Derek Walker: 2x the Man, 4x the Woman than Erik" "I'M KENNY ROGERS!!" "Trish the Blue Tigress!" "Mrrowwll..." "ARIEL -- THE NEXT CUTE THING!" "Hurricane can beat Superman, Batman, and yes, EVEN AQUAMAN!!!" "OSEIKO! LEAVE MICHAEL!!" "Hurricane fears the Scorpion King" "MOBIANS ARE CUDDLY!" "Rock fears hair" Pamela: YEAH!!!!!! I'M BACK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The hottest EAW Announcer, hell, the hottest Announcer in all of WRESTLING, is back to call the Riot!!!!!!!!!!! We're here at the Acorn Center in NEW MOBOTROPOLIS ON THE PLANET MOBIUS!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Kanyon: That's right, Pammy, and from what I hear, this place has been sold out for a loooooong time! We've got an incredible card lined up for you tonight, folks, heading it off with Derek Walker versus Lexay 2 Sexay-- Pamela: --Erica Angel and the nWo's Stylin' Erik O'Reily bust it out for a Number One Contender shot for the EAW Cruiserweight Title while Akiko gonna defend her Triple Crown against X!!!!! Kanyon: Trish and Oseiko of Kyouki Shoujo take on David Flair and Code Red in a two-in-one match!!!! Pamela: And finally, Glenda Jacobs takes on Mobius's hometown girl Sonnette in the Main Event!!!! "Faith of the Heart," by Russel Watson cues up, and the Acorn Center responds with a rousing pop! Capetta: Ladies and gentlemen, the following singles match is scheduled for one fall! Making hir way to the ring, weighing 120 pounds, DEREK WAAAAALKER!!!!!!!!!!!! Kanyon: Derek certainly is the favorite going into this match, Pammy. Listen to these fans cheer for hir... Pamela: Well, aside from Sonnette, shi's probably the only EAW wrestler these Mobians can really identify with... After all, Derek's not exactly... human, and neither are these fans! Kanyon: I dunno if I'd quite put in such forward terms, but yeah.... I guess that makes sense... Derek getting into the ring now, getting pretty psyched up for hir match... "Rock the Party (Off the Hook)" by P.O.D. sounds as Derek's theme fades out, and the Acorn Center gives a somewhat mixed response. Neither cheers nor boos seem to dominate, but Lexay doesn't seem to care either way as she stomps down the ramp. She looks like she's got only one thing on her mind... Capetta: And hir opponent, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 121 pounds, LEXAAAAY 2 SEXAAAY!!!!!!!!!!! Pamela: Lexay looks like she's got the one thing Derek is lacking going into this match, Chris. Kanyon: Oh, what's that? Pamela: FOCUS! Derek may be the favorite here on Mobius, but shi's been spending FAR TOO MUCH TIME worrying about hir relationship with Erica Angel to be prepared for this match. Kanyon: Well, remember that Lexay has had her distractions as well... She seems to put a lot focus on getting with Arianna, and that could be just as damaging to her as Derek's preoccupation with Erica and their relationship... Staring each other down now as the referee calls for the bell... *ding ding!* Derek Walker vs. Lexay Too Sexay Lexay and Derek start off pretty aggressive, tying up for a bit. Lexay slaps Derek, which prompts them to trade blows. Derek gets the upperhand in this exchange, using hir Tenchi Armageddon Wind Slash Technique to dizzy up Lexay, follows with a DDT, and goes for a pin early on. Lexay kicks out at Two, and then captures Derek in a particularly aggressive looking Jackhammer. Stomping at the Amalgam's legs, Lexay tries to soften hir up for a Sharpshooter, but Derek is able to escape when shi executes a Limb Swallow on Lexay's left foot. Screaming in surprise more than pain, Lexay drops the hold, and Derek whallops her with a Horned Headbutt, and begins filling Lexay's torso with a Rapid Kick combo and then an Irish Whip to the ropes. Lexay reverses this Whip, however, and this enables her to nail Derek with a Guillotine Legdrop which she then follows up with a Split-Legged Moonsault and a pin! The referee gets to two before Derek kicks out and plants a Hurricanrana on Lexay and then flits up to the top rope for a Dragon Dive! Shi goes for a pin, but like before, it stops at two. Lexay retaliates with a Twist-a-Roonie, getting a cheer from Pamela, and props from Kanyon. It's right about then that Arianna come out and watches on, glaring at Lexay. This causes Lexay to be a bit distacted, Derek rolls her up for a pin! Lexay snaps out of it before three and shoves Derek away and cracks for a Mach 1/Money Maker combo, trying to impress Ari with her ring moves, apparently, but Ari just keeps glaring at her former tag-team partner... With a somewhat hurt look on her face (getting sympathy from Pamela and something along the lines of "Aw, gimme a BREAK" from Kanyon), Lexay sets up Derek in the corner and dashes at her with a Bronco Buster! After this, Lexay grabs Derek by the hair and angrily rips into hir with an Evenflow DDT. Ari just continues to glare, which frustrates Lexay as she goes for another pin----which Derek just BARELY gets the shoulder up on! Lexay growls, and sets up the Party Crasher, but DEREK REVERSES IT INTO THE ENDLESS HUNGER!!!!!! Lexay flops around, terrified... but SHE DOESN'T TAP. Inadvertantly, a foot flops out and snags the middle rope, causing the ref to break the hold. Yanking away is a shaken and very pissed off Lexay, who rams a surprised Derek with a Tequila Sunrise and then El Scoripion Pica for the submission!!!! Winner: Lexay 2 Sexay Kanyon: Wow. That certainly went back and forth for a bit... Lexay sliding out of the ring, trying to talk with Arianna now, who just gives her the cold shoulder and leaves for the back. Lexay doesn't look very happy about that! Careful you don't get smacked with another free-weight Ari! Pamela: That's a cheap shot, Chris... Lexay already apologized for that... Kanyon: I know, I know... Just saying though... you never know how Lexay might react, given her latest outbursts... Pamela: I'm sorta proud of you, Chris! That was almost a heel mentality there! There might be hope for the two of us yet! *giggle* Kanyon: Er... Um... Let's uh, just go to our first commercial.... *First Commercial! No Cheesy Stacker 2 ads! We promise!!!* "Bullets" by Creed cues up as we come back from break. Kanyon: We're back! Up next we'll be seeing a number one contendership match, with the winner to challenge for the Cruiserweight Title. How exactly ERIK of all people deserves this I don't quite understand. Pamela: Well, he's the official, designated nWo representative to challenge for that title, of course. Kanyon: Yeah, but he hasn't even won a one-on-one match yet. Why doesn't David challenge for it? He fits the guidelines. Pamela: He's already the nWo World Champion, of course. =P Kanyon: Hmph... Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 10 minute time limit, and is the for the #1 contendership to the Cruiserweight Title. Introducing first, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, standing 5'7" and weighing 110 pounds...Erica Angel!! Erica makes her way to the ring, as "nWo Anthem" cues up... Capetta: And her opponent, from Ireland, and standing-- Kanyon: Erik sneaking up from behind through the crowd, and attacking Erica!! *ding, ding* #1 Contendership for Cruiserweight Title Erica Angel vs. nWo's Stylin' Erik O'Reily Erik slugs away with right hands on Erica, whipping her into the ropes, and going for a dropkick, but Erica grabs the ropes to avoid it. She grabs the legs, catapulting him into the corner, and then German Suplexing him on the rebound. Erica picks him up, locking on a side chin lock, then puts him back on the mat with a modified snapmare. The neck is torqued as she drives her knee into the side of it. When she pulls him back up to his feet, she sends him into the ropes, and a spin kick to the gut by Erica sets up a knee lift off the ropes. Erica grabs the legs for a Figure Four flip-over pin. Narrow 2-count by Erica escapes. Erica pulls up Erik for a snap suplex, but he surprises her--blocking it and locking on a side arm bar. He follows that up with with a sweep of the front legs, then rolls onto her back, putting on a headscissors. Erica goes for an escape, and stands up, attempting to swing his head towards the ringpost--but Erik flings HER head first into it! Kanyon: Erica may be knocked for a loop there, and Erik quickly up--off the ropes--FACE CRUSHER!! Pamela: Quick thinking by Erik--taking advantage of the situation. Kanyon: Pulling Erica up in a Dragon Sleeper possibly--no, hooking the singlet...OSAKA SN--NO! Inverted Suplex!!! Pamela: Erik faking us out, making us think he was going to use Akiko's finishing move! Kanyon: I think he just botched it. Pamela: Nuh-uh! =P Erik makes the cover, only getting a one count. Erica rolls through, reversing the pinfall, getting a two count on a small package variation, but Erik escapes narrowly. Erica attempts to ram his face into the turnbuckle, but he counters, mule kicking her out of the referee's line of sight, and then running at her and catches a swinging neckbreaker! He goes up to the top rope, and as Erica gets up he hits a Missile Dropkick. Kanyon: Erik back on offense, and surprisingly he's doing quite well here. Pulling Erica back up, and set up now-- Pamela: For a version of the sit-down powerbomb he calls the O'Reily Factor! Kanyon: Oh, please. =P WAIT!! Erica making him lose balance--Erik falling on her back, Erica on his chest for the pin--1! 2!! Kickout just in time!! Erica gets up, and slings Erica into the corner-- Kanyon: charging in and hitting a splash in the corner. She drapes his arm around her neck, and atomic drops him, then holds, on--backdropping him into a Mexican Stretch Bomb!! Pamela: Pinning combination-- . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . . JUST BEFORE THE THREE!! Kanyon: Erica just nearly beating Erik--and now it looks like she may have gotten herself in trouble. The nWo coming out here, to surround the ring: Bret Hart, Bullwhip, Glenda Jacobs--Erik's mentor. David, Kelly, and the newest member, Blink aren't out here though. However, we reportedly we'll be hearing some words from Blink about her defection tonight. Pamela: The nWo out here to lend moral support... Kanyon: They have none! Erik looks happy to see the rest of the nWo, and after Erica pulls up Erik, warily looking around, Erica catches her by surprise--belly to belly suplexing her!! It gets a two, and Glenda gets up on the apron, complaining about the speed of the count. Erica gets up in a daze-- Pamela: GOOOORE!! GOOOOORE!! GOOOOOOOOOORE!!! by Bullwhip!! Exiting the ring in a hurry. Kanyon: Erik jumping on top to get the pin-- . . . ONE . . . TWO! . ..NO! Erik hits the mat in frustration, then gets up and pulls Erica up--spiking her to the mat with a DDT. She gets the foot on the ropes. Erik pulls her back up, and sets her up in the corner, laying a series of kicks to the midsection. He runs to the far corner, and charges in, hitting a dropkick, and then Russian Leg Sweeps her. He then attempts to turn it into a submission hold--but she gets the rope again--Bret Hart knocks it away...she reverses it, putting the pressure on Erik. He tries to fight free, breaking the hold. Both of them get up, and Erica scoops him up--REVERSE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!! Kanyon: Erica goes for the pinfall--but Bret Hart drags him by his ankles out of the ring. The referee scolds him, and Glenda gets in, and pulls her up, attempting a chokeslam--Erica tries to block, but Glenda gets her up--CHOKESLAM!! Pamela: The referee turns around--sees the chokeslam! Darn it... *ding, ding, ding* Kanyon: Glenda ignoring it, and now laying in the boots, and the other nWo members climbing into the ring--the Hitman tosses the referee over the top rope. *ding, ding, ding, ding, ding* Pamela: Erik getting back in, and Erica held in place-- Kanyon: CHEAP SHOT by Erik!! Pushing her down on one knee now--and a Hammer of Injustice by Erik!! A rather--rough--version of Erica's own move. Pamela: The spray paint is out, and Erica being branded now-- Kanyon: HERE COMES THE CALVARY!! Kirk Angel, Sonnette, Akiko, and the Black Scorpion come out from the back. The Scorpion yanks Bret Hart out, hitting him with his bat and then choking him with it after putting him down. Kirk hits an OIympic Slam on Bullwhip, who then rolls out of the ring. Glenda and Sonnette tie up, slugging it out with each other, and Akiko ties up Erik in the corner--delivering the Shattered Dreams! The nWo retreat, although not until Glenda powerbombs Sonnette, and fends off the others after Bullwhip gets a steel chair... **Commercial Break** One commercial seems to star...Michael Connelly?! That is, in his M-A-C costume with a brown wig on. "This is 'Bob,' a wrestler." "Bob": *coughs as he holds what appears to be a joint* Duuuuuude, this is some good stuff. "'Bob' has reached a dead end in his career. Why, exactly?" "Bob": Duuuude...everything's cool. Voice off screen: Your car's been stolen. "Bob": That's cool... Voice off screen: Your mother died. "Bob": That's cool... Voice off screen: There's a nuclear warhead headed our way. "Bob": That's cool... "See? 'Bob' also sucks at giving a promo.."Voice off screen: Bob--you sound way too laid back and mellow. You're never going to be a marketable, viable main eventer if you only have one mood and can't convey any sort of emotion to the audience. Comprende? "Bob": That's cool... Voice off screen: AUUUUUGH!! *gunshot, fall to floor* "Bob": Dude....you okay? "Harmless?" **Commercial Break** Backstage, Aria is seen walking backstage, sighing... "If X only knew... If he only knew how well we're meant for each other..." "Ohhh...looks like someone's got a crush." A familiar sinister voice says. "Huh?" "We can help ya, chica." A similar voice says, but with a bit of a latino accent. Aria looks around as she finds the infamous Symbiote Squad, smiling at her. "What do you guys want?" "Want?" Lanky asks. "The only thing we want is you to be happy. That is what you want right?" She nodnods, "Yeah..." "Now, if we heard right, you have a huge crush on X, right?" Aria sighs with awe, "He's so dreeeamy... I would do anything to be with him. Just for a few minutes." Lanky grins as he says aside to his partners, "She said 'anything,' boys. Looks like we have found ourselves a sucker..." "Are you sure, Amigo?" Pest asks. "I mean, will she do it?" "Streak! Streak! Streak!" Brakk chants, only to get popped in the mouth by Lanky. "Shut up, Brakk!" Lanky continues on, with an evil grin on his face, "She's obviously desperate. She'll do anything." He turns back to Aria. "Oh Aria?" "Yes..." She answers. "Nice sneakers you're wearing. Are those the new Nike Shox?" She looks down at her T-shirt, Mini-skirt, and her newly-purchased white Nike Air Shox. "Yes, they are." "Have you ever seen the Nike Shox soccer commercial." "You mean, the one where the guy runs naked on the field, just to get attention!?" Aria replies, a bit shocked. "Yeah. We were hoping to re-inact the segment, but instead of a soccer field, at ringside. You see, once again we have to show the fuckers in the WWE how to do it right!" "Whoa! For one, I don't even have a sca-" "Here, Mamacita." Pest hands over a scarf to her. "Borrow mine." "But still, you want me to run out there wearing nothing but my shoes and this scarf?" Aria looks at them as if they're complete idiots. "Bite me!" She then walks off, disgusted. "What kind of a person do you think I am? There's no way I'm going to degrade myself just for your amusement..." "Would you do it for X?" Lanky asks. This causes Aria to stop. "Wha-what do you mean?" She responds, curious. "You don't know? The Nike Shox commerical is by far X's favorite. He thought that it was hilarious, and we happened to know personally that he wished that a girl was involved instead of the British guy." "...really?" All three symbiotes nod, "Really!" At that instant, Aria quickly removes her shirt and skirt, revealing a white bra and panties set. She looks at the Squad, unsure about this. "All of it..." Lanky responds. Aria sighs as she then reluctantly remove her undergarments. Leaving her, save for her socks and sneakers and the scarf, completely naked. Lanky smiles. "Now, my dear. Go on! X awaits to see you out there, doing your thing." He tries to keep his composure as the the others snickers. Aria sighs. "Okay..." "Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie begins playing... Capetta: Thef following match is scheduled for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit, and is for the EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California...he stands 6'1" and weighs in at 226 pounds. The challenger...the "Wildcard"--X!!! Kanyon: Welcome everybody back to Riot Rulz!! Up next, the Ex-Triple Champion Akiko will be defending her title against X. Pamela: The SINGLE X, that is. Now he's more focused, more determined, more...available. Kanyon: Right. =P As X gets in the ring, "Cherry Bomb" by Shonen Knife cues up... Capetta: His opponent, the EAW Extreme and defending EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion: she stands 5'6" and weighs in at 135 pounds--Akiko Nakano!! Kanyon: Akiko reportedly is going to be taking some time off after she's no longer holding a title...what is this project she's been hinting about? Pamela: *shrug* Playboy? Kanyon: Eh--I don't think she'd EVER go for that. =P I'll wait until I hear her tell us before I jump to any conclusions. Pamela: Well, I HOPE that it isn't her own album. Her musical performances sound worse than the noise coming from the hotel room next to mine last night--and that was a couple of cat-people on their honeymoon. Kanyon: Hehehe--well, she definitely could use more practice... As Akiko gets in the ring, some hooting and hollering is heard. Kanyon: What the hell?! Pamela: HUH?! WHAT IS...AUGH!! Aria runs through the crowd, and into the ring, wearing only the Shox and a scarf. X blink-blinks, speechlessly, and Akiko yells. Aria blushes, and shakes her ass a bit. Security heads into the ring, and Aria springs over the top rope, and runs away from security and some persuing referees. Pamela: Is this a circus now?! The hell is this?! Kanyon: Well--I don't know, but you do know there aren't any indecent exposure laws on Mobius, right? =P Pamela: There obviously SHOULD BE! Kanyon: Well, most Mobians have fur... Pamela: Yeah, but would you think it was okay if I decided to go gallavanting around without any clooo--don't answer that. Aria runs (and bounces) around the ring as the referees chase her, until she's finally caught in a circle of them. Pamela: Well, would it be okay if Oseiko decided to--? Kanyon: Well, that wouldn't really be a BAD thing... Pamela: MEN!! Okay, what about Big Momma Lay Ya? Kanyon: Ick--no, I wouldn't like that. Aria ducks between the legs of a referee, and runs up the ramp to the back. Kanyon: Ahem--well, I suppose that the match will occur now...although that's a hard act to follow. Pamela: Stupid biii--hehe--right. The match. *ding, ding* "The Wildcard" X vs. Akiko Nakano (c) Kanyon: Akiko going after the distracted X, volleying some kicks into the midsection, and sends him into the ropes, leaping headscissors takes him to the mat!-- Akiko leaps onto X's back, stomping him in the spine, and then driving a knee into the back of the head. Front face lock, X gets up to his knees, and gets a few shots into the midsection. Stands up, and Akiko is flung into the ropes--Akiko ducks the clothesline. Roundhouse by Akiko is ducked with a splits into an uppercut to the jaw. Off the ropes, and Akiko cartwheels out of the way of a Lionsault attempt--X lands on his feet just in time to avoid it! Akiko grabs him from behind, ATOMIC DROP--X rolling and leaping back up up--kicking each other in the leg--knocking each other's legs aside! Kanyon: Some applause from the crowd, and these two both surprised as the agility and quick-thinking of each other! Pamela: Didn't Heyman used to have moments like this in his now-defunct company? =P Kanyon: Well, yeah. So? Pamela: Just saying... At that moment, Viki comes out from the back, clapping a bit herself. Pamela: Well, well--I wonder what this is about. I wonder if SHE'S gonna get undressed and run naked around the ring. Why not? Who cares?! Kanyon: Calm down, she looks like she's just watching the match. Pamela: Oh, good. >=/ Akiko and X momentarily look toward the entranceway, then back at each other. X leaps towards Akiko, pulling her left leg off balance and taking her down. He gives an elbow shot to the knee, then attempts a leg-lace drop--but Akiko hits an Enzui Giri! Akiko spins that into a side leg lock, then crowns him in the forehead with the heel of her boot as they're on the mat. She's back up in a flash, and somersault leg-drops X across the neck. Cover, one count, and kickout. Kanyon: Akiko pulls him up, whips him into the ropes. Dropkick misses, and X flips out onto the apron, springboards and catches Akiko with a cross body! . . . ONE! . . . Tw--kickout! Pamela: X would certain fit in well with the NWA: TNA division of his namesake, but he's only available here in EAW!! Kanyon: Shilling X?! I'm surprised. Pamela: Well, I don't really care for either of these two, but I have to pick ONE to root for. Viki gets closer to the ring as X pulls Akiko away from the ropes, and rolls her over. He pounds her left knee against the mat before locking on an STF. Akiko fights it, trying to move to the nearest ropes, but with X on her back, it's to no avail. Kanyon: X tightening the hold, simultaneously weakening the knee of Akiko and the neck. Pamela: If he keeps this up, it'll spell the end for Akiko's title reign! X releases the facelock, and attempts to turn the move into an Indian Deathlock. Akiko powers out of the hold though, and rolls out of the ring. X charges towards her-- Kanyon: BASEBALL SLIDE--NO! Akiko stepping to safely and grabbing him by the feet--yanking him out and GUILLOTINING him underneath the bottom rope! Pamela: OOOOH!! That's legal as far as I know, but I really question that... Akiko then yanks X out to the floor, and gets up on the apron, dropping an elbow onto the sternum. She picks him up, and whips him towards the guardrail, but X reverses. X charges it, and Akiko backdrops him into the crowd! Akiko rolls into the ring, and leaps out onto the apron. Kanyon: X comes back over the railing--Missile Dropkick--SIDE STEPPED! Pamela: Akiko miscalculated, and now she PAID! Landed right on that left knee! Kanyon: X pulling her up--driving the weakened knee into the steel steps!! X rolls Akiko in at the 8 count, and drapes her legs across the middle rope. He flips over the ropes, dropping his weight down on the knees!! Akiko grabs the knee in pain, trying to crawl away. X hooks the leg-- . . . ONE! . . . TWO! ...KICKOUT! X sets up Akiko in the corner, and lays in with some chops to the chest. Akiko gets fired up, and throws X into it. Chops by Akiko, and a spinning back kick (which has considerably less sting to it). Akiko pulls him out, driving her forearms into his back, then hits a-- Kanyon: LYGERBOMB!! She goes to the apron, uses a slingshot somersault leg drop (dropping the RIGHT leg), and covers...getting . . . ONE! . . . TWO! Crowd: TWOOOOOOOOO!! Kanyon: Er, and the kickout. Pamela: Heh! Must be taking after the Canadian crowds. ^_^ Akiko pulls X back up, and goes for the Tornado DDT--but X counters, hitting a Tornado Plex!! X positions Akiko parallel to the turnbuckle, and climbs up to the top rope, ready for a moonsault. Akiko leaps up, and onto the top rope, making X lose balance and get CROTCHED on the top rope! Akiko shakes her left leg, and walks into the corner, getting up to the second rope--SUPERPLEXING X to the mat! Cover by Akiko, long two, and the kickout. Akiko returns the favor from before, and grabs the ankle, dropping pairs of elbows into the knee, wrenching it back to weaken it. X shimmies towards the ropes, grabbing the bottom one for the break. X pulls himself up, and the two get in close, exchanging right handed punches, and X takes control, about to toss Akiko out of the ring, but she holds on, snapping the throat down across the top rope!! Akiko climbs in, and while X is stunned, she locks on the Tarantula!! The referee makes the count as Akiko locks it on--releasing it just before the 5. Akiko then heads up to the top, and hits the Swanton Bomb!! (Although coming a bit short...) . . . ONE! . . . TWO!! . . NO!! Akiko gets up a bit slowly, X shakes the cobwebs up. Akiko swiings at X, who blocks--elbowing her back. He gets up--right hands knock Akiko against the ropes, and he kicks her in the midsection--doubling her over and hitting the X-Plosion!! . . . ONE!! . . . TWO! . . ...NO! Kanyon: Akiko kicks out, and X puts her in a side headlock. He goes for the X-Ploiter, but Akiko counters, dropping him across the top rope, then climbs up the turnbuckle, hitting a flying back kick to the chin! Pamela: YOW! I think that hurt her too, though... Kanyon: She goes for the pin, but X rolls under the ropes, and flips through, Oklahoma Rolling her, but she rolls through, attempting a Sharpshooter. He gets to the ropes, and chopblocks Akiko's left leg. He signals to the crowd, and scoops her up--hits the Pumphandle Spike--and goes for the pin!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . . THREE!! *ding, ding, ding* Pamela: NEW CHAMPION!! NEW CHAMPION!! "Never Gonna Stop" cues up again, and X is handed the Triple Crown Title. Akiko pulls herself up, and raises X's hand!! Capetta: Here is your winner...and NEEEEEEW EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion--"The Wildcard" X! Kanyon: Akiko taking this loss like a true champion, and Viki applauding. Pamela: Well, I guess some of these moments aren't ALL sickening. We cut back to the backstage area, where Aria is running (and bouncing) through a hallway--and ducks inside an open door, shutting it behind her. Aria: *Whew* Glad I'm in such better shape than those guys. "Yeah, we'll get that extention ready for you, you can look it over and...sign it when you're ready. Oookay...right," Ric says, shutting off his phone, as he sees Aria. Aria: EEEP! I'm sorry, President Flair--I was just. Ric chortles, "It's okay! It's okay! No need to explain. I used to do it back when I was younger myself. "SHE WENT THIS WAY!!" some shoving and pushing is heard. "Mr. Flair! We're looking for some girl streaking..." "Haven't seen her," Ric says, opening the door and answering through the crack in the door. "Okay--she must have kept going--let's go guys.." Ric closes it, wait. Aria: Thank you!! She hugs him. "EASY THERE, watch where you're pointing those things," he tosses her one of his shirts, which she quickly wraps around herself, then ducks out the door, heading the opposite way... **Commercial Break** * * * * Scene switch to... BLINK! The crowd half cheers, half boos the purple-skinned girl as she reads a magazine. She's dressed in black jeans, boots, and an nWo T-shirt. She then looks up, smirks, and closes the magazine. "Why, Blink?! Why?!" Blink says. "Well, the way I got it figured... I don't owe any of you any explanations. I'm nWo now. So live with that and make your own damn conclusions as to why." Blink thinks for a moment. "... I have a lot to get off my chest so let's start with you, Teena. You've been riding my coat tails ever since I let you into the EAW. You've been getting by okay but the fact of the matter is, you're nothing but a never-was! Michael's right... you're not championship material and you never were! You winning the title the first time was just a fluke, and you can whine and cry all you want because... let's face it. The only thing you were EVER good at was eating me out, and sucking Mash's sausage!" Boos seem to just pour from the arena. "Yeah, yeah... whatever. Well, you know what, Teena? I should NEVER have freed you from that stasis pod all those years ago! I should've just left you there! The world would be better off without you! But I can't turn back the hands of time... so why don't you just do us all a big favor and go away! Leave us alone! Never come back! Go play super-hero and kindly F*bleep!*K yourself!!!" Blink smiles as the boos continue. "Now.. Stone Cold Steve Austin... I don't know what your deal is... you wanna settle things between you and me? Between you and the nWo? Then as your theme song says, STEP UP! We'll clear the air next show! And we'll see just where you stand." Blink stands up and faces the camera. "I know where I stand... I stand with the nWo. And when you stand with the nWo, you stand with 'em... 4 LIFE!" * * * * ![]() * * * * Back to the ring now as Morrigan is present, "Halcyon & On & On" playing over the PA as she uses her power to construct a second ring next to the original one, the specially created cage manifesting overhead. Along with the second ring, a second play-by-play table materializes next to Pamela and Kanyon. BG Hyde makes her way down the ramp alone, and sets up shop at the second table. BG: Testing? Testing. One Two... Hi other there! Pamela: Hmph. ...Hi BG. Kanyon: How ya doin', BG? Well, we're back... we just want to let our fans know that we'll be continuing the EAW Interdimensional Tour at the Edenian Arena at the realm of Edenia! Pamela: Which is why that commercial was just aired. Kanyon: Uh, yes... N! W! O! The crowd boos as "Superstar" cues up. The self-proclaimed nWo World Champion heads to the rings with Kelly Connelly-Flair. He climbs in as "Superstar" fades out and "Broken" cues up. Cheers and some boos come up as "Code Red" Michael Connelly comes out to the ring. He looks a little worried about the few boos he hears, but nevertheless, climbs into the rings with David. Kanyon: No denying th response David Flair got, but a bit of a mixed response Code Red got here... not entirely surprising with all the controversial things he's been saying about the fan favorites not only in the EAW but in the WWE, as well... Pamela: Nothing wrong with speaking your mind, Kanyon... you know that better than anyone. -_^ Kanyon: Er... well, yeah... "Broken" fades out... and suddenly "Little Busters" by the Pillows cues up! A new theme song as both Oseiko and Trish step out to the stage to a rousing chorus of cheers! Trish has blue tiger-striped fluorescent paint over her left arm and blue tiger-striped pants with the Kyouki Shoujo Kanji on the left leg and the Hardyz insignia on the right. Kelly Connelly-Flair talks with her husband for a little bit, before making her way to the announce table. Kelly: Well, BG, I just couldn't leave you here all alone... I'm going to keep you company! BG: Hooray. Well, I should have guessed it'd be you when they didn't stick me with Heyman for the heel commentator... I'm surprised you're not cheering on your hubby... Kelly: Pam will take care of that for me... I wanna call all the great shots my cousin Mikey will use to carry Trish through this match... Kanyon: And here comes the Black Widow and the... *sigh* the Blue Tigress! I gotta admit it's a catchy nickname for Trish as the newest member of Kyouki Shoujo! Pamela: Yeah, and Kelly's trademarked it! Hahahaha! That's a shrewd businesswoman there! Even so... the cage closes down on the rings now! Trish slides into the ring with Michael and Oseiko climbs into the ring with Flair! Yes, we have two referees for this one! And referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell! "The Blue Tigress" Trish Vs. Code Red Michael Connelly "The Black Widow" Oseiko Vs. David Flair Kanyon: Oseiko throwing a series of kicks at Flair-- FLAIR SHUTS OSEIKO DOWN! KICK TO HER GUT! CHOP! ANOTH-- NO, OSEIKO SPINS AROUND TO FLAIR'S BACK AND-- SLEEPING NECKBREAKER! Flair staggers to his feet and-- SHINZKUMO NO SASU! And Oseiko now, leg drop to Flair's leg! Locking a leg lock on! Sound strategy by Oseiko, weakening the legs, and setting Flair up for an easy tap-out for the Kumo no Amimono! Kelly: Not gonna happen, Kanyon! BG: And on our end, Trish and Code Red laying into each other with rights as the bell rings, referee Dave Hebner not having an easy time keeping order in the early going... Wow, they're really giving it to each other... A lot of resentment built up on parties here for a long time... Mikey criticizing Trish at nearly every turn in the weeks before-- Kelly: Ah, he's just calling it like he see's it. Trish isn't any better, running her mouth about Connelly's reaction to Oseiko's tainted victory in their tournament match. She has no idea what is going on in Oseiko's marriage, and isn't qualified to give advice about-- BG: Oh, give it a rest, Kelly! Pay attention to the match, will you? Connelly with a snap-suplex, but the Blue Tigress answers by pulling Code Red's ankles out from beneath him for and A HARDYZ LEG DROP INTO A PIN!!!!! ONE! TWO! And Mikey kicks out! Kelly: The Blue Tigress isn't gonna get the pin THAT early, but--MIKEY JUST MIGHT AS HE ROLLS TRISH UP AND GETS A PIN OF HIS OWN!!!!! ONE! TWO!!! Damn, Trish kicks out! Mikey smirking at her, playing out the psychological warfare, and--MACKKNIFE POWERBOMB!!!!! He's DETERMINED to put her out EARLY!!!! AND ANOTHER PIN!!! ONE!!! TWO!!! BG: But Trish kicking out with authority there! She's got somethin' to prove to Connelly! She's not gonna go down easy! Oh... and Connelly not looking happy there. Code Red grabs his hair and pulls it in frustration, looking at the ref. He claps his hands together rapidly in a "one-two-three" motion, apparently indicating to Dave that he needs to count a little faster. Hebner just responds with two fingers up, insisting that it's only a two-count. Kelly: YEAH! Count faster, you moron! BG: Kelly... Dave's a fast count to begin with... Trish hopping into a handstand as Connelly finishes that short argument--HURRICANRANA!!!! Tossing Code Red across the ring with that Handstand Hurricanrana! Shoulda been payin' attention there, Mikey!!! Kelly: Bah. Show-off. Code Red and the Blue Tigress going back to trading blows now... Kanyon: Back to the other match... Oseiko whips Flair to the corner! PHOENIX BACKFLIP KICK! Picking up Flair quickly... and locks on the ROLLING BUTTERFLY LOCK!! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! FLAIR-- OH! KICKS THE BACK OF OSEIKO'S HEAD TO FORCE HER TO RELEASE THE HOLD! Oseiko staggers up-- FLAIR WITH AN ARM DRAG! OSEIKO ARM DRAGS FLAIR! KIPPUPS TO HER FEET! Oseiko grabs Flair... whips him to the corner! Oseiko follows in-- FLAIR GRABS OSEIKO AND THROWS HER TO THE CORNER AND-- OHH!! WICKED FLAIR CHOP ACROSS THE FACE OF OSEIKO! AGH! OSEIKO RETALIATES WITH A STIFF SPIN KICK! FLAIR SOARS OVER THE TOR ROPE! Oseiko moves quickly, slingshots the rope-- BASEBALL SLIDE INTO FLAIR AND FLAIR COLLIDES WITH THAT STEEL MESH CAGE! OSEIKO FOLLOWS FLAIR OUT OF THE RING NOW... CHOPS FLAIR IN THE CHEST AND-- RAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE APRON! AND-- WICKED SPIN KICK SENDS HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE CAGE!! Oseiko, climbing into the ring-- FLAIR'S GOING UP TO THE TOP ROPE! OSEIKO-- FLIPS OUT OF THE RING--?! FLAIR WITH A DOUBLE-AXE HANDLE OFF THE TOP-- OSEIKO SLIDES BACK INTO THE RING TO AVOID IT!! AND-- WHOA!! VAULTING BODY PRESS BACK OUT OF THE RING BY OSEIKO ON TOP OF FLAIR!!!!! o_O; Pamela: What is this?! Musical Rings?! Kelly: MEANWHILE!!! Code Red is showing superior ring ability as he flings Trish around with a Belly-to-Back suplex, stomping a few times as he gets to his feet, and ending with a NIIIIIICE Moonsault Splash! Taking it to the Blue Tigress now as she struggles to get to her feet, and--PLEASANT CYCLING!!!! BG: But Trish won't submit!!!! She's too close to the ropes for Connelly to get a win by submission, and Dave Hebner breaking up the hold! Connelly backing off, but not happily, and Trish gets right back into it with a charging clothesline on Connelly! Kelly: HAH! That barely fazed him! He's more surprised at it's lack of effectiveness than anything else!!! Not only is Trish not as skilled as he is, she also doesn't have the ass to knock him down when the chips are down--WHAT?! BG: HAH! You spoke too soon, Kell--TORNADO DDT, PLANTING CODE RED'S FOREHEAD INTO THE MAT!!! Lifting him to his feet now, and thrusting his head between her thighs, springing back into a handstand--!!!! X-TREME STRATUSPHERE!!!! SHE ACTUALLY GOT CONNELLY INTO THE AIR FOR THE X-TREME STRATUSPHERE!!!!!! HOOKING THE LEG, ONE--TWO!!!!! NOOOOO!!!! CONNELLY WITH THE SHOULDER UP!!! Kelly: And here I thought she was gonna set up Pedigree... :p Maybe she'd have had better luck with Triple H's signature move instead of trying to be flashy and flip her opponent around... Trish putting a sleeper on Connelly, now.... Ref raising his hand once... Twice... C'mon Mikey, c'mon.... Three times.... MIKEY HOLDS UP THE HAND ON THREE!!!! HE'S RISING TO HIS FEET!!!! BG: Trish looks pissed, and goes to finish him off with a Twist of Fate----NOOOOOO!!!!! MIKEY REVERSES!!!!!!!! PENDULUM BACKBREAKER!!!!!! Kelly: Tossing Trish down like the trash she is!!!! Bridging pin, now, and that should be all she wrote!!! BG: NO!!!! Trish kicks out!!!!!! The crowd is going INSANE!!!!!! Connelly now throttling Trish in frustration! C'mon, Mikey, this just isn't like you!!!!! Pamela: Hey, look at this! Kanyon: David Flair has Oseiko down on the mat! REFEREE MIKE CHIODA'S DOWN, TOO! Oseiko slowly gets up... and FLAIR WITH A JUMPING KNEE TO THE CHIN! EYE RAKE!! DOUBLE CHOPS TO THE CHEST! FOREARM TO THE CROTCH!! TWO MORE CHOPS SENDS OSEIKO TO THE CORNER! HE'S NOT GIVING OSEIKO A CHANCE TO RECOVER! KICK TO THE GUT!! OSEIKO'S STAGGERING TO GET AWAY BUT FLAIR'S KEEPING TO HER! KICK TO THE CROTCH!! WHIP TO THE ROPES! AND-- ANOTHER KNEE SMASH TO THE CHIN!! Pamela: Eeeee... Flair really seemed to enjoy tenderizing Oseiko's vittles... o.o; Kanyon: Interesting analogy, Pammy... OSEIKO FIGHTS TO GET UP! KICKS TO FLAIR! AND-- ENZUIGIRI!! PIN ATTEMPT! PRAWN HOLD! 1! Kanyon: NO! FLAIR POWERS OUT! OSEIKO ROLLS TO HER FEET! TOE KICK TO FLAIR AND-- SPINNING HEEL KICK! SPINNING ARMLOCK!! FLAIR-- WAIT! HE TRIPS OSEIKO!! AND-- LOCKS IN THE LEGENDARY END!!!!! OSEIKO'S SCREAMING IN PAIN!!! THIS DOESN'T LOOK GOOD FOR THIS SIDE OF THIS UNBELIEVABLE 2-IN-1 MATCH!! Kelly: David and Mikey may get clean-sweep here, with Oseiko in the Legendary End, and NOW TRISH IN THE KUMO NO AMIMONO!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!! TRISH HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO TAP OUT!!!! SHE'S GOT HER HAND RAISED, TOO!!!! SHE'LL GIVE UP!!!!! BG: TRISH FIGHTING TO GET OUT OF THAT SUBMISSION MOVE WITH EVERYTHING IN HER SOUL!!!! She's clawing and screaming now, scrambling to get to the ropes again, but Connelly's got her firmly in place at the center of the ring!!! Look at the sneer on his face now!!! He's gloating! Trish digging deep down, you can see it in her eyes-- Kelly: No, those are just tears of pain, BG. Trish will have to just swallow her pride and tap! Could we be seeing their future tournament match play out right here? BG: Don't be so quick to count your Blue Tigress out just YET, Kelly... Remember, she HAS trained quite extensively for this match, even enlisting Steve Austin to coach her against Code Red earlier in the week! She did escape from this very move! Kelly: *scoffs* Trish escaped Stone Cold's pale imitation of the Kumo No Amimono, and he probably LET HER OUT OF IT! Code Red has the real deal locked on her right now, and he KNOWS what he's doing, and HE DAMNED SURE ISN'T GOING TO JUST LET HER GO LIKE AUSTIN DID!!!!! BG: Well, we'll see... Trish twisting and turning underneath Code Red's grip, reaching for his ankles... Kelly: O.O!!!!!!! She reversed it!!!!! HOW--?! BG: She grabbed the ankles, turned, and reversed the leverage!!! Thrusting her legs out, pushing Code Red away from her!!!!! Her back has got to be BURNING now from that Kumo No Amimono, but she's still fired up to take on her future Tournament opponent! CHICK-KICK TO CONNELLY'S FACE!!!! NO, HE CATCHES THE FOOT!!!!!! TRISH COUNTERS WITH AN ENZUIGIRI--NOOOOO!!!! CONNELLY DUCKS, BUT STILL TRISH KEEPS THE SAME MOMENTUM GOING WITH A SWEEP KICK TO THE BACK OF HIS KNEES!!!! GOD, IT'S LIKE WATCHING AN RVD MATCH!!!! Kelly: You mean long, boring, and generally accompanied by lots of interference by Kane? Ohhhh.... I get it, you mean the GOOD RVD matches that he USED to put on, before WWE pigeonholed him into tag-team anonymity... BG: ....Something like that. Connelly getting back to his feet now to send Trish to the ropes with an Irish Whip... Trish responds with a Lou Thesz Press, and RAILING HIM WITH THOSE BLOWS TO THE HEAD!!! Kelly: I'd make a crack about her stealing this one from Stone Cold, but it's not his originally, and to be fair, eh, her WWE counterpart is using now too... ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS TO HAVE WORN OUT ITS WELCOME AS CONNELLY MUSCLES HER OFF OF HIM, AND----CONNELLY COMET!!!! TRISH'S BODY BOUNCING OFF THE CANVAS WITH THAT ONE!!!!!! BG: TRISH PINNED AGAIN--ONE!!!! TWO!!!!!! And the shoulder up again! Kelly: Rrrrgh...! C'mon Mikey!!!! Get it done!!! Ooo, check out the other side--! BG: Huh? Kanyon: FLAIR'S STILL GOT THE LEGENDARY END LOCKED IN! OSEIKO REFUSES TO TAP! SHE'S CRYING IN AGONY!! BUT SHE'S NOT TAPPING!! WHAT RESOLVE FROM THE BLACK WIDOW!! SHE... WAIT, I THINK SHE'S GOING TO TRY SOMETHING! Pamela: Impossible! The Legendary End is superior! Kanyon: Oseiko... WAIT!! SHE-- SHE REVERSED THE LEGENDARY END INTO A-- FIGURE-FOUR LEG LOCK?! Pamela: o_O; HOW THE HELL DID SHE PULL THAT OFF?! Kanyon: OSEIKO IS KURT ANGLE AND CHRIS BENOIT ROLLED INTO ONE DYNAMIC PACKAGE!!!! THIS GIRL IS A TECHNICAL GENIUS!! WAIT!! FLAIR COUNTERS OSEIKO'S FIGURE FOUR! INDIAN DEATH LOCK!! AND OSEIKO'S SCREAMING ONCE AGAIN!! SHE-- WHOA!!!! SHE COUNTERED AGAIN!!!! SHE JUST... SPUN AROUND AND NOW SHE'S... GOT THE SUNRISE FIVE-LOCK ON!!!! Pamela: GEEZ! HEY! LOOK WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE OTHER MATCH!! BG: Trish and Connelly going through a series of cruiserweight moves now, with Connelly seeming to have the upperhand-- Kelly: --Of course. He IS the better technical wrestler here. BG: *not missing a beat* --taunting Trish some more with a few smacks to the back of the head to get her temper flared up... She's lashes out for a choke hold, falling into his trap--Connelly blocks, goes for the Condition Red--NO, TRISH REVERSES IT INTO A MODIFIED SITDOWN JAWBREAKER!!!!!!!! Kelly: That HAD to be the UGLIEST thing she's done all night. Jeff Hardy's sloppy ring habits must be contagious... BG: To be fair, it WAS an improvised move to counter the Condition Red. Kelly: No excuse. Trish could try exercising a little more quality... Connelly staggering from that jawbreaker, and Trish jumping for the middle-turnbuckle.... Let's see if she can screw up this-- BG: WHISPER IN THE WIND!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!! CONNELLY CAUGHT HER!!!!!! ANOTHER MACK-KNIFE!!!!!!!!!!! Kelly: HAH!!!! TOLD YOU SHE'D SCREW IT UP!!!!!! AND THE PIN!!!!!!!!!! BG: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRISH GOT THE SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST POSSIBLE INSTANT!!!! CONNELLY CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!! HE'S SCREAMING AT THE REFEREE NOW!!!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM THIS IRATE BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!! Kanyon: BACK TO OSEIKO AND FLAIR... WHA--?! ![]() Kanyon: FIGURE FOUR NECK LOCK BY FLAIR!!! HE'S STRETCHING OSEIKO'S NECK WITH THAT MOVE! CHIODA'S GIVING HIM THE FIVE COUNT! AND FLAIR RELEASES THE HOLD! FIST DROP BY FLAIR! FLAIR NOW, RAINING PUNCHES DOWN ON THE BACK OF OSEIKO'S HEAD!! OSEIKO STAGGERS UP... KICKS FLAIR IN THE GUT! AND-- SPLITS THROAT THRUST! Oseiko rushes to the top rope and-- 450 SPLASH! PIN!! 1! Kanyon: FLAIR KICKS OUT! FLAIR ROLLS TO HIS FEET! OSEIKO CHARGES IN-- HIGH BACK BODY DROP-- AND OSEIKO LANDS ON HER FEET!!!! OSEIKO-- OH, MEETS A KICK TO THE GUT BY FLAIR-- WHA-- OSEIKO BLOCKS IT-- SWEEPS FLAIR AND-- ![]() Kanyon: CLASSIC HARDYZ LEG DROP!! OSEIKO STILL HAS HIS LEGS!! AND-- KUMO NO AMIMONO!!!! KUMO NO AMIMONO!!!!!! BG: Dave Hebner and Code Red having very angry words with each other now... I don't think I've EVER seen him get in the face of an official like he is right now... Dave Hebner pointing to his referee patch, emphatically letting Connelly know who's in charge of officiating... Kelly: Yeah, you mean like how his brother Earl officiated the greatest screw-job in the history of our sport? And.... hey wait-a-second! THAT SNEAKY BROAD!!!!!!! BG: HAHA!!!! TRISH DOES INDEED SNEAK IN BEHIND CODE RED!!!!!! STRATUSFACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kanyon: OSEIKO STILL HAS THE HOLD LOCKED ON! AND-- FLAIR TAPS!!!! FLAIR TAPS!!! OSEIKO WINS THIS MATCH FOR HER TEAM!!!!!!! Pamela: o_O!! WHAT AN UPSET-- geez, makes you wonder if she could've taken the title if she stuck in the tournament and won it! Winner of the 1st Match: Oseiko Kanyon: Oseiko steps back, watching what's going on in the other match... Flair... wait! Flair's got a steel chair from the apron! HE CHARGES OSEIKO AND-- OSEIKO DUCKS!! HER SAKKI WORKING! BUT-- OH!! KICK TO THE GUT BY FLAIR AND-- OMIGOD!!!! THAT SICK CRACK OF SKULL MEETING METAL!!!! HE'S BEATING OSEIKO WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR OVER AND OVER IN THE HEAD!!!! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! ELEVEN! TWELVE!!! MY GOD, STOP THIS!!!! THIS IS SICK!!!!! BG: CONNELLY IS IN IT DEEP!!!!!!!!!!!! TRISH CLIMBING TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE WITH ALL HER SPEED!!!!! SHE'S GONNA END IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trish gives a quick glance down to Code Red, looks out to the crowd, which is on it's feet now, roaring it's approval... and she shrieks at the top of her lungs, "STRATUS BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yanks off her white tanktop, getting even an even louder pop from the audience. With that, she signals the Hardyz Gunz-- Kelly: ...hmph. Of course she'd take her shirt off for the horny fanboys... BG: SWANTON STRATUS BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRISH HOOKING BOTH LEGS!!!!!! SHE'S GOT TO HAVE CONNELLY HERE!!!!!!!!!! ONE! TWO!! THREE---!!!! Kelly: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! CONNELLY FOUGHT DEEP DOWN AND FOUND THE VERY LAST OUNCE OF DETERMINATION HE CAN POSSIBLY HAVE!!!!!!!! THE REF'S HAND WASN'T EVEN A MILLIMETER FROM THAT LAST COUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kanyon: TWENTY TIMES!!! THAT CHAIR'S DENTED AND COVERED WITH OSEIKO'S BLOOD! AND OSEIKO'S... yes, OSEIKO'S OUT COLD!!!! Pamela: Guess Flair was a bit embarrassed here... Oseiko upsetting him like that! Kanyon: That's no excuse! Oseiko's hurt badly... but a straight victory for Kyouki Shoujo hinges on Trish beating Code Red here...! BG: And that may just happen, with Trish pounding on Connelly's skull for a few beats, and hooking the leg for another pin-- Kelly: NO! Code Red snaps her back, rolls her up! PIN!!!! ONE!!!! TWO!!!!! BG: TRISH COUNTERS THE COUNTERPIN!!!!!!!!!! KICKING UP, ROLLING CONNELLY AGAIN---!!! What's she...? Looks like she's pinning Connelly with the leverage of holding down his legs... And there's the count--! ONE!!!! TWO!!! THREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S GOT IT!!!! SHE'S GOT IT!!!!! TRISH STRATUS PINNED MICHAEL CONNELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Winner of the 2nd Match: Trish "Awake" by Godsmack cues up, but soon... "CUT THAT MUSIC!!!!!!!" Michael screams over a mic, his voice hoarse. He turns to Dave Hebner, and once again gets in his face. "What are you----BLIND!!!!!!??? COULD YOU NOT SEE HER PULLING MY TIGHTS?!" BG: WHAT?! I didn't see her pull on his tights... Mikey's being an uncharacteristically sore loser... Kelly: Well, Trish's back WAS turned to us... She COULD have pulled the tights... As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised... The audience begins to boo emphatically at this accusation. Kanyon: Uh oh... this could turn ugly. Pamela: GEE, ya think? I mean, how would YOU feel if you were beat by that cheating, tights-pulling hussy? Kanyon: PAM... Pamela: WHAT? She DID! Kanyon: ...You weren't even WATCHING her match! Kelly: Heh. o/~ Do you really want to hurt meeee...? o/~ "Oh, that's right," Connelly says, glaring at the audience. "Don't believe me, I'm the jerk here, not her... You cheer her, a cheating tramp who has to jiggle her 'puppies' in order to get your approval, while I bust my back to give everything I have in this ring for you people! Trish, you haven't proved ANYTHING to me except that you're an attention hogging ego-maniac! You can't even finish a match without stripping to your bra, and you DAMNED SURE can't pin ME, THE DAWNING LEGEND, WITHOUT CHEATING!! And what makes it hurt the most, is that these fur-faced freaks out here just IGNORE that!! I guess because they just want to HOP ON YOU because of how I'm sure you probably smell to them. Hell, that nose of yours kinda resembles a snout, too..." BG: OH!!!!!!! LOOKS LIKE TRISH HAS HEARD ALL SHE CAN STAND TO HEAR!!!!! A boot to the gut on Code Red now, and a Twist of Fate!!!! I'd never thought I'd say this about Mikey, but THANK GOD SHE SHUT HIM UP!!!! Kelly: Wah. Wah. WAH. Connelly tells her some cold, hard truth, and it hurt too much for her to listen, so she takes the easy way out. Oooo nice, stomping on the back of Connelly's neck and head, pounding on his spine and shoulders!!!! Man, she's pissed! BG: Dave Hebner admonishing her to stop now, but she's not having any of it... An Irish Whip to the opposite turnbuckle now, and smashing Connelly with a clothesline, and--shoving Dave Hebner out of the way now--Stratusfaction again, and stomping away at him some more! And... a leg drop from the top turnbuckle! Kelly: Trish kicking Connelly to the outside of the ring now, and--What's this? Faintly, Dave Hebner can be heard telling the timekeeper: "I reverse the decision! Disqualification on Trish Stratus for excessive post-match brutality!" Capetta: Er... ladies and gentlemen, Dave Hebner has declared Trish Stratus disqualified for excessive brutality. You're winner for the second match, and going on to a third and final round versus Oseiko----COOOOODE REEEEED MICHAEL CONNELLY!!!!! Trish grabs Dave's shoulder and spins him around, seething with anger at this judgment, but then sighs... and goes over to grab a chair... and proceeds to smash Connelly over the head, again and again! Kanyon: Trish is cracking away at Connelly's skull, taking out more aggression on the winner... Oh, Connelly's opened up from this one... he's bleeding all over that chair! Pamela: Trish is a sore loser----but... these fans are still CHEERING FOR HER?! What are they, ON CRACK!?? Okay, don't start this.... *rolls eyes and sighs heavily* "You screwed Trish." YOU SCREWED TRISH?!!?! Can't they think of anything ORIGINAL?!! BG: Uh oh... Wait... Mikey's.... SMILING?! Kelly: Trish fell right into his trap!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!! Mikey goaded Trish into lashing out, and now he's reaping the benefits!!!!! Kanyon: He may be reaping the benefits, but Trish's last chairshots have him now on a somewhat level field with Oseiko! Both of them are hurt going into this third round!!! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN!?!?!!! FOLKS, WE'VE GOTTA BREAK FOR COMMERCIAL, BUT DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL!!!!! Pamela: Yeah, it'll probably take NEARLY that long for Code Red and the Black Widow to recover enough to put on the third part of this match--it'll happen NEXT!!!! *COMMERCIALS!!!!* Kanyon: Welcome back everyone--Michael getting in the ring, bleeding and a bit tired out, but otherwise he's fine. He's an ass, too, but.. Pamela: HEY!! We're about to see him and Oseiko mix it up! Kanyon: Michael heading towards the still-laying Oseiko--SURPRISE ROLL UP!! *ding, ding* Oseiko vs. "Code Red" Michael Connelly . . . ONE!! . . . TWO!!--Kickout! Kanyon: Michael almost duped there, and ANGRILY shoving the referee. Pamela: He was nearly screwed twice in one night! Kanyon: Well, anyway, the match is on! Oseiko took a hell of a hit--she may even have a concussion--Michael whipping her HARD into the corner--charging in.. Pamela: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!! Kanyon: Michael spearing Oseiko in the corner--and looks like a superplex being set up here, and--NO! Connelly shoved off the turnbuckle! Oseiko perched on top--leaps off with a flying headscissors!! Pamela: Oseiko operating on pure adrenaline it seems, and reaching for the ankle--Michael grabbing the rope--heel into the forehead of Oseiko! Kanyon: Nevertheless, Oseiko holding on, and grabbing the other ankle. Getting up now, and going for the Kumo No Ami--twisting his body to shake her off! Oseiko pulling up Michael, and SNAP SUPLEX nicely done! Going for for a side headlock--elbow to the midsection, go behind by Michael--GERMAN SUPLEX--NASTY LOOKING there, dropping her on her FACE with that!! Pamela: Front face lock, and Michael taking the leverage advantage, smacking her near the ear, and cranking on that neck. Oseiko trying to fight her way free--Michael turns it into a spinning neckbreaker!! Cover! . . . ONE! . . . TWO!--NO! Kanyon: Both of them have just wrestled grueling matches, so this may be a brief match. Oseiko getting up--spinning kick--caught by Michael--Corkscrew spin kick to the chest by Oseiko!! Pamela: Page out of Van Dam's book there, and Michael back up. Oseiko charging in--INVERTED ATOMIC DROP by Michael!! Kanyon: Oseiko halted abruptly, and Michael whipping her into the ropes, setting up a big side kick--ROPE FLIP FAKE OUT by Oseiko!! Leap up onto the top rope--MEROSAULT--INTO a Reverse DDT??!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CALL THAT?!?!?!? Pamela: You might call it certain victory--Oseiko going for the cover-- . . . ONE! . . . TWO --NO!! Kanyon: Oseiko taking control in a major way. Pulling up Michael and leaning him against the ropes. Kicks into the midsection, SPINNING ROUNDHOUSE and Oseiko flipping onto the apron as Michael hits the floor! Pamela: Oseiko positioning herself to follow up, leaping off and a Kumora--CAUGHT!! And POWERBOMBED out on the floor!! There's only a thin bit of padding seperating them from solid concrete. Kanyon: Whipping Oseiko into the steel railing now...spin kick across the chest, and Michael backing away--charging in--BOOT TO THE FACE by Oseiko counters just in time! Face first into the steps!! And Michael rolled into the ring! Pamela: Oseiko decided on a simple but effective counter that time. USUALLY she goes for more flashy ones. Kanyon: If the situation requires--and Oseiko climbing inside the ring. Michael getting up, and Oseiko from behind--leaping onto his back!! Shots to the face--Reverse Kumorana--into a pinning combination! . . . ONE!! . . . . TWO! . reversal, Michael flipping her over-- . . . ONE! . . . TWO!! . ...Kickout!! Both of them getting up slowly now, and Michael hiptossing Oseiko. Headscissors attempt now--Oseiko kipping away. Michael getting up--sends her into the ropes, drop toe hold--ELBOW DROP into the back of the head by Michael, and Michael picking her up now--THROWS HER with a T-Bone Suplex!! Oseiko may have been knocked silly by that one. Pamela: Silli-ER! Kanyon: Michael pulling her up, going for another one--no, blocked by Oseiko--Michael going for the Irish Whip--reversal--knee lift to the midsection by Oseiko--Side Russian Leg Sweep--into the COMPACTOR by Oseiko!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO!! . . ....KICKOUT! Pamela: Oseiko knees Michael into the back, but he valiantly fights back up to his feet--Irish Whip--reversal by Michael--Oseiko into the ropes, Michael hits the near ropes--RUNNING FIELD GOAL KICK RIGHT INTO OSEIKO'S TAUT LITTLE TUMMY!! Double Underhook--MICHAEL SCORES WITH THAT BEAUTIFUL CONDITION RED!! COVER!! HOOK OF THE LEG!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . . . THREE!! *ding, ding, ding* The crowd boos as "Broken" cues up again. Capetta: The winner of this match....*sigh*..."Code Red" Michael Connelly! Kanyon: And the sole survivor of this match...Michael Connelly. Pamela: Justice and Truth prevails in the end!! Kanyon: Oh, PLEASE--we'll be back after this break-- *LAST COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!! WAI!!!!!!! N-N-New World Order!!!!! "Breath," by Disturbed plays up, and the crowd boos loudly. Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for ONE-FALL!!! Making her way to the ring, accompanied by Akira Hokuto, from Memphis, Tennessee, and weighing 215 pounds----GLENDAAAAA JACOOOOBS!!!!!!!! Kanyon: Glenda ignoring the boos, looking straight ahead to the ramp as she awaits her opponent, and former partner, Sonnette. Akira whispering into Glenda's ear now... Glenda shaking her head? What are they talking about? Pamela: What're you looking at me for? I can't hear what they're saying... "Live and Learn," cues up, and the Acorn Arena erupts into chaos with deafening cheers! Capetta: And her opponent, from MOBOTROPOLIS, weighing 137 pounds----SONNETTE!!!!!!!!!!!! Kanyon: WOW!!! Now we REALLY won't hear them! That's a complete 180 from Glenda's welcome... Pamela: Pfah. Favoritism among the natives, Glenda doesn't have a prayer of a fair reception among these Mobians... Kanyon: And her nWo affiliation has nothing to do with it, right? The fact that she's got Akira watching her back, probably ready to take shots while the ref has his back turned? Pamela: C'mon, Chris, we've already heard Glenda say she wants to take this one her own... David and the rest of the nWo are good enough to honor her wishes... Singles Match nWo's Glenda "Unibomb" Jacobs vs. Sonnette Pamela: See? Akira getting out the ring as timekeeper hits the bell! Glenda with a hard clothesline on Sonnette and an elbow to the chest to follow it up!!! Locking in that sleeper hold now as Sonnette struggles to get to the ropes. Kanyon: Sonnette flipping to her side to try and take some of that leverage back, and an elbow to Glenda's belly frees her up! Russian Leg Sweep on Glenda now, and a supersonic series of punches to the head as Sonnette takes it to the nWo's bombshell! And a snap suplex--no wait! Glenda lands on her feet! Pamela: Glenda right back into it as she swings up and catches Sonnette with a JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB!!! YEAH!!!! STOMPING AWAY AT SONNETTE'S RIBS TO SOFTEN HER UP, AND LIFTING HER UP FOR A PUMPHANDLE SLAM!!!!! Kanyon: Glenda hauling Sonnette to her feet now and Irish Whipping her into the turnbuckle, ramming her with another clothesline, and backing up a bit, taking aim--and a hard series of Nash-like elbow strikes! One! Two! Three! Four! WAIT--SONNETTE AVOIDS THAT LAST ONE!!!!! Ducking under--HEADSCISSOR TAKEDOWN ON GLENDA!!!!! SONNETTE FOLLOWS UP WITH A ROLLING HENTAIPLEX!!!!!! A PIN!!!! Pamela: Sonnette with a couple back elbow drops on Glenda, and lifting her up for a piledriver, to which Glenda says "NO WAY!" The Unibomb wrapping her legs around Sonnette's neck for an improvised Hurricanrana and--BUFFALO WING!!!!!! GLENDA LOCKS IN THE BUFFALO WING EARLY ON!!!! SHE'S TRYING TO PUT OUT SONNETTE NOW!!!! Kanyon: Sonnette finding the safety of the ropes though, and the ref breaking up the hold... Zipping up to her feet now as Glenda argues with the ref, and a FLIPPING DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF GLENDA'S HEAD!!!! AND A BULLDOG FOR GOOD MEASURE!!!!! Pamela: Gah! I can hardly hear myself THINK with all these screaming furries!!! Sonnette getting to the top turnbuckle now, and a--what's-she-call-that Senton Cannonball thingy? Oh yeah... Sonic Bomb. Kanyon: Don't hurt yourself trying to sound excited Pammy... Sonnette with the pin--ONE!!! TWO--!!!! And Glenda with the shoulder up once more! Akira Hokuto cheering on her nWo comrade as Sonnette applies the Labyrinthe, answering to Glenda's Buffalo Wing earlier... and--GLENDA LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GONNA TAP!!!!! SHE'S ABOUT TO TAP!!!! HEY WHAT-?!! Aww, c'mon Ref, ignore Akira for a second!!!!!!! Glenda's tapping, and the ref is busy arguing with Akira!!! Pamela: Well she DID climb onto the apron! Who KNOWS what she might do to interrupt the match, the referee is just doing his job to make sure she doesn't give Glenda an unfair advantage! Glenda getting to the ropes now, and the referee breaking up the Labyrinthe! Kanyon: *sigh* Akira hopping back down now that she's done her damage... Glenda with a Cradle DDT and picking up Sonnette for a Tombstone Piledriver! Glenda smirks as she hoists Sonnette upside down. Pointing out to the audience, she then gestures a "double-thumbs down" and cries out, "THIS is how you do a PILEDRIVER!!!!" Pamela: OHHHH!!!!! SONNETTE'S SKULL BOUNCING OFF THAT CANVAS!!!! Glenda seizing Sonnette by the throat with both hands and hauling her up into the air with a Lifting Choke, shaking her around to show the Hedgehog who's boss, and then a SIT DOWN POWERBOMB!!!! Glenda with the pin now... Kanyon: Glenda shaking her head now, sending Sonnette to the ropes with an Irish Whip--BIG BOOT----NOOOOOO!!!!! SONNETTE DUCKS, AND--SPINNING HEEL KICK!!!!!! GLENDA BACK UP, BUT ONLY TO GET ANOTHER CRACK FROM SONNETTE IN THE FORM OF A DOUBLE-UNDERHOOK SUPLEX, AND UP TO THE TOP ROPE AGAIN!!!! SONNETTE WITH THE MONEY SHOT!!!!!!!! Pamela: NO, GLENDA GETS THE KNEES UP!!!!!!!! SONNETTE'S MONEY SHOT BACKFIRED!!!!!! GLENDA SHAKILY GETTING TO HER FEET, AND.... CHOKESLAM!!!! Ack!!! SONNETTE COUNTERS WITH AN ELBOW BEFORE GLENDA CAN LIFT HER UP!!!!! A SERIES OF RAPID CHOPS TO GLENDA'S CHEST, AN IRISH WHIP, AND----OWWW!!!!!!! MISSILE DROPKICK!!!!!!!!!!!! SONNETTE RUSHING BACK TO THE ROPES AGAIN, BUT---!!!! SHE STUMBLES!!!!!!! HAHAH!!!!!!! Kanyon: AKIRA TRIPPED HER UP AND YOU SAW IT, PAM!!!!! SONNETTE GLARING AT AKIRA NOW, REACHING OVER AND GRABBING HER BY THE HAIR--!!! OHH!!!!! TURNING HER BACK ON GLENDA COST HER!!!!!! GLENDA ROLLING SONNETTE UP FROM BEHIND!!!!! Pamela: Glenda looks like she's had enough of this... Hoisting Sonnette on her shoulders now, she's getting set for the OKLAHOMA CITY SPECIAL----! Kanyon: NO!!!!!!!! SONNETTE COUNTERS TO A DDT!!!!!!! BACKING UP, GOING FOR A SPEAR----HEY WAIT A SECOND!!!!! AKIRA IN THE RING BEHIND THE REF, SHOVING HIM INTO SONNETTE'S PATH!!!! HE'S DOWN!!! THE REF'S OUT!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!! AND SONNETTE NOW WITH A PORNBUSTER ON AKIRA!!!!! Pamela: That's a bit of an overreaction, don't you think? Akira didn't do anything to SONNETTE... Kanyon: Well, she DID get involved... And... What the hell is THIS? So much for the nWo not getting involved! They're all rushing to the ring, the jackals... Glenda getting to her feet now, as the entire nWo manhandle Sonnette... Glenda not looking very happy... I guess she WAS serious about not wanting her teammates to interfere, but she's damned sure not stopping them now... This makes me sick... *KRAAAA-AAASH!!!!* Pamela: Oh, great, here we go... THIS guy again... Kanyon: STONE COLD!!!!!!! HE'S RUSHING TO THE RING, AND FLAIR TURNING HIS GOONS ON AUSTIN!!!!!! OH!!!!! BUT AUSTIN'S FIRED UP!!!! STUNNER ON BULLWHIP!!!!!! ERIK O'REILY CHARGING NEXT----STUNNER!!!!!!!!!! BRET HART----STUNNER!!!!!!!! AKIRA WITH AN ATTEMPT AT A FUJIWARA ARMBAR--REVERSED TO A STUNNER!!!!!!! DAVID FLAIR BOOTED IN THE GUT AND STUN--! WHAT!!!! *BLINK!* Kanyon: DAMN IT!!!! Almost forgot BLINK joined the nWo!!!!!! A chairshot to Austin's spine before he can get David in the Stunner!!!! Austin writhing now, and OH!!!! ANOTHER CHAIRSHOT!!! TO THE HEAD THIS TIME!!!!! I can't believe he's still standing! CHAIRSHOT TO THE HEAD AGAIN!!!! AND AGAIN!!!!! BLINK'S DECIMATING THE RATTLESNAKE!!!!!!! Pamela: Well, he deserves it for sticking his nose in the nWo's business!!! Blink dropping that chair now, as Austin wobbles about... Amazing that he's still on his feet, and----BLINK GIVES AUSTIN THE STONE COLD STUNNER!!!!!!!!! SHE PUT SOME STANK ON IT TOO!!!!!!! Kanyon: This makes me sick... Austin bleeding from the head, Sonnette in a heap in the middle of the ring... David Flair helping the rest of the nWo out of the ring as Glenda shakes the referee back to life... I can't believe this, Pammy... Pamela: And Glenda with the Oklahoma City Special on Sonnette... Kanyon: Not that it matters at this point... Referee counting the pin now, with Stone Cold's bloodied form right next to him... I doubt the ref even knows where he IS right now... And there's a very slow and labored three count.... But... Man... Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner... Glenda Jacobs of the nWo... Kanyon: Glenda actually looks a bit angry with Flair for interrupting, not that it matters now... Having some words with her leader.... Austin trying to get to his feet again... Pamela: I doubt HE knows where he is right now... Heh... How lost is he? Flipping the bird to David Flair when he can't even stand up straight... Oopsie! Rattlesnake fall down again! Kanyon: Blink getting back into the ring as well, packing spraypaint... about to brand Austin... wait... What? Pamela: David Flair stopping Blink? Why? David Flair takes the spraypaint can from Blink, smirks, and rather than spraypainting nWo logos onto Austin's back, he instead sprays on the mat next to Austin. Kanyon: "Join us?" Yeah, right... Pamela: WHY NOT?! David Flair is a benevolent, forgiving soul! He recognizes Austin's potential for the nWo!!! BUT THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE!!!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR CHRIS KANYON, THIS IS PAMELA PAULSHOCK, SIGNING OFF RIOT RULZ!!!!!!!
|