Live from the Hershey Center in Hershey, PA!
Your hosts are Chris Kanyon and Pamela Paulshock!
Live from the Hershey Center in Hershey, PA!
Your hosts are Chris Kanyon and Pamela Paulshock!
We open to Riot Rulz...
"Rise" by the Cult cues up!
Kanyon: Welcome everyone to EAW Riot Rulz, live from Hershey, Pennsylvania! I'm Chris Kanyon along with Pamela Paulshock...
Pamela: Who doesn't want to let me get a word in edgewise...anyway, it seems we're finally going to hear from a certain washed-up former champion.
Kanyon: At her age, a former champion..and "washed up?" Well...I guess coming from you it is expected....
Blink steps out to the crowd much to the delight of the many fans who missed her since Cataclysm. She smiles to the crowd, waving as she walks to the ring, then slides in, getting a mic from the outside. She then looks to the crowd, looking a little sad before beginning.
Blink: Well, it's certainly been a wild ride, hasn't it? From my start way back in the old days before the EAW went belly-up the first time... all the way to this very moment. You see, I didn't come here to acknowledge Kirk Angel or Michael White... Angel, you won the EAW World Title because of White and you played me and the millions of fans here for saps! But that's not why I'm here... see, the reason why I'm here...
Blink pauses, looking to the crowd as they chant her name.
Pamela: ...is to annoy me by taking up valuable TV time that could be used for REAL talent?
Kanyon: Ouch...
Blink: ... I love you guys, y'know that? The reason why I come out here busting my chops like I do is because of all you fans.
The fans cheer Blink's acknowledgement proudly.
Blink: That's why it's gonna be hard for me to say goodbye.
The fans suddenly are in a state of shock.
Pamela: Um...well..GOODBYE!! TA-TA! SAYANORA!! Buenos Diaz or whatever...
Kanyon: Goodbye?!
Blink: You see, the reason why I didn't show up for the battle royale back in Showdown was because I was back in Seattle, speaking with Lord Gokuo on what I wanted to do. I wanted to take an extended leave of absense from the EAW. See, Angel... in a way you did me a favor by having flatscan supreme White screw me out of the title because I wouldn't be able to do this with the strap hanging on my shoulder. But there's a reason why--
Blink pauses as the fans chant out "DON'T GO BLINK! DON'T GO BLINK!" The outpouring of emotion is so great it makes Blink shed a tear, smiling softly.
Kanyon: Well..it seems that Blink has just more or less announced her retirement...
Pamela: What a put on...she doesn't really mean it...well, I hope this does mean she's leaving..
Blink: Like I said earlier I love all of you...
The fans cheer once more.
Blink: But getting back to why I'm leaving... well, just take a look at the news and you'll see why. Take a look at all the crap that's been going on lately and you'll see why... hell, take a look back at September 11th and you'll damn well why.
Pamela: No comment...
Kanyon: I should hope so.
Blink: I'm leaving the EAW because I have the power... I have gifts no normal human has and it's about damn time I used them. And I'm gonna use them right! I'm going to go back to my original calling... I'm going to re-join the X-Men and I am going to fight for the freedom of each and every one of you out here!!
The fans cheer loudly for Blink after that proclamation.
Pamela: Hmm...well, that's good news...yes, I don't believe I see a downside!
Kanyon: I do...YOU haven't quit.
Blink: I'm gonna make sure crap like what happened in New York City doesn't happen again... I'm gonna make sure crap like what happened at the Genosha Massacre doesn't happen again! I'm gonna use the gifts that God gave me and the skills Mr. Creed gave me and I'm going to fight!
Once more the fans cheer as Blink pauses, looking to the fans and smiling softly.
Blink: But make no mistake... this leave of absense is temporary. I AM gonna return to the EAW. And I'm gonna come back smarter... stronger... wiser... and when I'm gonna come back I got my sights set on one man... Kirk Angel!!
Kanyon: Well...just when will that be...?
Pamela: Probably whenever poor Blinky-poo gets over her pride getting crushed...maybe 2-3 years if we're lucky. :P
Blink: Angel, you Olympic-sized flatscan... I don't care if you got the title or not when I come back! When I come back? You better beware because I'm gonna be the one who goes Olympic on your ass!!
The fans cheer wildly for Blink... she then looks to the crowd and smiles.
Blink: So with that... it's time for me to take my leave. But don't worry... the thing that'll make me come back will be all your support... because if there's one thing I've learned, you people don't care that I'm a mutant... you just care.
The fans cheer once more as Blink nods, then blows a kiss to her fans before saying two last words.
Blink: ... See ya.
And with a *BLINK!* Blink vanishes as "Rise" plays one last time.
**Commercial Break**
"Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" cues up, and out from the entryway comes Crash Holly, looking determined.
Kanyon: And we're kicking things off now with Cousin vs. Cousin! The jealous Crash Holly taking on his cousin, the Super-heroine Mighty Molly. Crash worried about his cousin stealing the spotlight.
Pamela: And justifiably so, Kanyon.
Kanyon: Justifiably? How can you possibly say that?
Pamela: Simple…Molly realized how well Crash was doing in EAW, and got jealous of him, so she convinced Hurricane to come into EAW to upstage him.
Kanyon: Please Pamela, she's not like that.
As soon as Crash enters the ring…
"Supergirl" by Shounen Knife cues up now, as Mighty Molly makes her way to ringside next, getting a good amount of cheers as she comes out.
Kanyon: And now, the Super Heroine making her way to the ring, and everyone cheering this young beauty.
Pamela: You mean young booty, don't you?
Kanyon…well, there is that…but anyway…Molly in the ring now, and the bell sounds. This match is now under-way!
The match starts off with a slight stare-down by the two Holly cousins as Mighty Molly removes her cape and tiara. As Molly hands her personal effects to the ringside helper, Crash takes the chance to attack her from behind, hitting away on his cousin with forearms to the back. Crash goes to take some advantage of the situation, whipping Molly off of the ropes. Molly ducks a clothesline attempt by Crash, however, and turns it into a dropkick right into her cousin's face. Crash rolls to the outside of the ring, trying to regain his bearings, and Molly waits for him to come back in. Crash however isn't as nice as Molly is with this, as he grabs her by the ankle and yanks her out of the ring. When Molly is out, slams the back of her head into the ring apron. Molly seems to be dazed, but that changes when Crash tries whipping her into the turnbuckle post, but Molly reverses it and Crash goes head first into the poll. Crash goes down, and Molly gets a chance to get back into things. As Crash starts to get up, Molly goes back into the ring and waits for him to come back in. Crash rolls back into the ring and goes after Molly again…but as he comes in Molly goes for a quick roll-up…
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Kickout by Crash. Molly helps her cousin up to his feet, and attempts a suplex, but it's reversed by Crash, and Molly goes down hard on the mat. Crash straddles Molly's stomach and starts to pound away on her, before he gets pushed off by Molly's legs. Molly tries to get her bearings back, but Crash comes off the ropes giving her a short body splash, staying on for the cover
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Kickout by Molly this time, but Crash goes back to work on her, kicking away at her side. He momentarily stops however to gloat, and gets and "Elroy" chant for his trouble, which frustrates him heavily. He grabs Molly in anger and gives her a snap suplex, rolling over for a pin.
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Another kickout by Molly. Crash is getting angry now, and grabs Molly by her throat, blatantly choking her right in front of the referee. The referee eventually gets him to break the chokehold, and Crash starts arguing with him. In the meantime, Molly starts to get back on her feet, and as soon as she's up and Crash turns around, Molly gets a hold of Crash and drops him with a DDT. Molly quickly goes up to the top rope nearest to Crash, and waits for him to get back to his feet. As soon as he gets up, Molly attempts to deliver the Molly Go Round, but Crash manages to get out of the way, causing Molly to land hard on her rump. Crash wipes sweat off of his forehead before going in towards Molly, going for a rolling neck-snap on her, then going in for another pin.
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Another kickout by Molly. Crash gets up, and is confident that he has the victory. He decides to go for an ending move for the match, and gets her set up for a running powerslam…but Molly slips out behind him and manages to get him into a bridging German Suplex.
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Kickout by Crash. Molly doesn't let Crash get up to his feet, however, and goes in for a Texas Cloverleaf this time. When she gets the move onto him, Crash is wincing and screaming in pain, but keeps on fighting, and crawls to the ropes, managing to grab them, causing Molly to break the hold. Crash is in pain now though, and has to use the ropes to pull himself up to his feet. Molly waits for him to get fully back to his feet before going back after him, but Crash manages a quick kick to her stomach, making her double over a bit in pain. Crash smirks a bit at this, and signals for the Falcon Arrow. However, as he tries to lift her up for the suplex…Molly manages to adjust a bit to get behind him. When Crash turns around, Molly grabs him…and manages to get HIM in the Falcon Arrow, quickly going down for a pin as Crash lands hard onto the mat.
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WINNER BY PIN: Mighty Molly
Kanyon: Unbelievable display by Mighty Molly, as she gets a victory over he own cousin! Molly is happy about this one!
Pamela: And Crash, when he gets up, will be livid about this. Like he predicted: Molly is gonna steal the spotlight from him.
Kanyon: Please…give me a break.
The camera goes to the back, where we see Hurricane is walking through the halls, adjusting his cape as he makes his way towards the entryway for his upcoming match.
*cough*
"Well...if it isn't our new hero..." says Nova, leaning against the wall as Hurricane walks past.
Hurricane looks over to Nova. "Ah, a fellow defender of justice. It's good to know that this organization is well defended...even more than before now."
"Oh, can it, you egomaniac. You're just here to steal my thunder, Helms," Nova says, not at all amused.
Hurricane blinks. "First off, I'm the Hurricane, not Helms. Secondly, I have nothing but respect for you. After the Blue Blazer, you helped pave the way for super-heroes in wrestling. And third, I'm not here to steal anything from you."
"Helms...come off it. Denying it is just insulting everyone's intelligence. I'm not trying to pretend to be someone I'm not," Nova says, turning away. "You're just a joke..."
"I don't know what you're talking about Nova. I'm not pretending to be anything I'm not either. I am a man being a hero, and a wrestler. Speaking of which, I have a match to get to." Hurricane starts walking off.
"Fine, Greg...just learn your place around here, you demented maladjusted jackass..."
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
When we come back, there's a clip of Deadly Extremity frozen on the screen, with "Moments Ago" in a box on the screen.
Kanyon: We's back, and here's something that happened during the end of the match…causing this to be a fair, one on one match.
The clip shows Deadly Extremity making their way to the ring as the Crash/Molly match goes on, and they rush towards the ring…but all of the sudden, from seemingly nowhere, they get hit hard by a chain and a chair. The deliverers of those weapon shots, Sin and Shade, come out and hit Frosti and Savvy once more for good measure, before walking off camera.
Pamela: A totally uncalled for attack by those gothic sluts! Deadly Extremity were just coming out to watch their teammate in action, and they attacked them for no reason.
Kanyon: Like Deadly Extremity did to the Girls of Goth a few weeks ago after the Girls had a tag match.
Pamela: Details, details.
When we come back to the arena, the sounds of "Ultra Mega" cue up over the speakers, as Seven starts to make his way out.
Kanyon: Well, here comes one of the participants for our next match here, the potentially powerful Seven, and he looks determined to do well in this match.
Pamela: Even though the only reason that he got this match was because his girlfriend kissed the boss' ass.
Kanyon: And that's not how you got your job, Pamela?
Pamela:…no comment.
Seven gets into the ring and gets a decent reception from the crowd as "Ultra Mega" fades out…
"Dare" by Stan Bush cues up, and a spotlight shows up above the Jumbotron where Hurricane is floating in the air. Hurricane lands on the top of the ramp and does his spin before going to the ring.
Kanyon: And listen to the ovation for the Hurricane as he makes his way to the ring. He, along with Molly, have already earned a good following here in EAW.
Pamela: These two morons want to steal spotlight from everyone: Molly does with her cousin Crash, and Hurricane is doing it by stealing Nova's gimmick.
Kanyon: Which Nova sorta took from the late Owen Hart, when he was the Blue Blazer, if you remember correctly.
Pamela: …oh yeah.
Kanyon: Well, the bell has sounded, and this match is now underway!
The match starts out with, as to be expected from a match with the Hurricane as one of the participants, the Hurricane holding out his hand for a handshake. Seven looks wary at first, but he takes the gesture and the two participants shake hands, then back up to get themselves ready. Hurricane goes in for a grapple that's accepted by Seven, and turned into a headlock by Hurricane. Seven manages to push Hurricane against the ropes, turning it into a modified Irish whip attempt. Hurricane goes off the ropes, giving Seven a shoulder tackle on the way back, causing Seven to go down. Hurricane goes off the ropes again, jumping over Seven, who starts to get up, ducks a clothesline attempt by Hurricane, leaps over Hurricane as he comes back, and attempts a back body drop, but it's turned into a sunset flip by Hurricane, who holds it for a pin.
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Seven manages to roll the move so he's pinning Hurricane. .
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Hurricane rolls back into the pin of his own. .
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And Seven once again rolls the move into a pin. .
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And again, Hurricane rolls the move into a pin. .
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This time, Seven kicks out, and both roll back, getting some good applause from the crowd on that exchange, as it reminded them of similar incidents back in ECW. Hurricane and Seven both look at each other, slight smirks on their face, both surprised at the other one's skill from that exchange. Seven is the next one to make a move though, kicking Hurricane in the stomach, and then going for a suplex. Hurricane hits the mat, and Seven goes off the ropes, dropping a quick elbow right into the chest of Hurricane. Hurricane holds his chest a bit, and Seven manages to go to the near turnbuckle, delivering his move Fury's Rise, staying on for a pin. .
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And Hurricane kicks out of the pin. Seven doesn't seem that concerned yet, as he picks Hurricane back up to his feet, sending him to the nearest corner, running in to follow with a quick knee to the gut, followed by the Seven Trap. Hurricane takes the hits hard, and is pulled out of the corner via a huricanrana, rolling into a pin. .
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Hurricane kicks-out again. Seven seems to be calculating his next move against Hurricane, and moves in after a short while going for the Seven Catch, but Hurricane manages to slip out and delivers a vicious looking reverse DDT onto Seven. Both combatants are down… .
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Both competitors start to stir, and are back on their feet by the count of 8. Seven goes in for another huricanrana, but Hurricane manages to catch Seven, dropping him into a falling powerbomb attempt, holding onto it. .
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Seven kicks out again. Hurricane gets up and signals with his hand his next move…the chokeslam. Once Seven is up, Hurricane puts the hand around his throat, but as he lifts Seven up, he gets a modified double-heel enzuiguri for his trouble. Hurricane goes down like a ton of bricks, and Seven waits for him to start rising. When Hurricane is back onto his feet, Seven goes for a Thin Razor Line, but Hurricane manages to get out of the way of that one, and Seven lands on his feet with no move. Hurricane rushes in and blasts Seven with a hard clothesline, rolling through to get back onto his feet, and once on his feet going for a standing moonsault onto Seven, which is blocked by the knees of Seven. Hurricane holds his stomach again for a brief bit, before Seven whips him into the corner, and when he comes back, delivers the Seven End to Hurricane, going on for a pin. .
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NO! Hurricane kicks out of it, and this stuns Seven. He gets up after this, and starts to pull Hurricane to his feet…when suddenly, Hurricane manages to trap his head, and adjust their position to drop Seven with the Eye of the Hurricane, staying on for the pin. .
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NO! This time Seven kicks out of the move, and it's Hurricane's turn to be surprised. Hurricane goes to help Seven up to his feet, and is caught by Seven, who drops Hurricane with a hard DDT. Goes for a cover…..
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Another kickout by Hurricane. Seven and Hurricane both get up and Seven catches Hurricane before Hurricane can try anything. Seven attempts, surprisingly, an Un-prettier, but this proves to be a fatal mistake by Seven, as Hurricane manages to turn it into a Hurribreaker, dropping Seven hard onto his neck. Seven is out of it as Hurricane goes for a pin. .
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Kanyon: Wait a minute, that's Nova! Nova just came out and started to attack the Hurricane! What the hell is this about?
Pamela: I don't know for sure, but this is interesting to me. Nova now picking Hurricane up…KRYPTONITE KRUNCH! HURRICANE DROPPED HARD, AND BOTH SEVEN AND THE HURRICANE ARE OUT!
Kanyon: I don't get it though, why the hell is Nova attacking Hurricane. What is his problem with him?
Pamela: Who knows, who cares? Nova is MY hero!
WINNER BY DQ: The Hurricane
Kanyon: Well, in any event, it will go down as a win for Hurricane, but right now he doesn't look like a winner…and Nova smiling as he leaves the ring.
The camera cuts back to show Kirk Angel walking to the ring, the EAW World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist, his gold medals around his neck, and the MPRW Regional Heritage championship belt in hand.
Pamela: Now things are only getting better, because here comes my Olympic Hero, Kirk Angel!
Kanyon: And coming up after the break, Kirk says he has a special announcement concerning the MPRW Regional Heritage Championship!
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
When we come back from the break, "Gonna Fly Now" cues up in the arena, to a massive amount of boos from the crowd.
Pamela: WHOO! Here he is Kanyon: The greatest wrestler in EAW today, the EAW World Heavyweight Champion, and Olympic Gold Medal winner, my hero, Kirk Angel!
Kanyon: Geez girl, you're kissing his ass more than Paul Heyman does. What's with you, you have a crush on him or something?
Pamela: And if I do?
Kirk gets into the ring, and takes a microphone as he holds the MPRW Regional Heritage Championship over his shoulder.
"People of Hershey, how does it feel to have a real superstar grace the ring?"
Kanyon: Well, the crowd giving a less-than-stellar reaction to Kirk now, and probably deservedly so.
Pamela: This is unjust. No respect for a true athlete like Kirk Angel.
"Now, as some of you people know, yours truly has a match at the coming Pay-Per-View, No Escape, against one Michael Connelly…"
Before he can continue, the crowd erupts in cheers at the mention of Mikey's name. Kirk rolls his eyes at this and waits for the cheers to die down a bit before continuing.
"…but unlike some champions before me, I am planning to defend this title belt between now and the Pay Per View. In fact, at the next EAW event, I will defend this EAW title belt against someone I feel is worthy. That person? None other than Nova himself."
Pamela: YAY! Nova vs. Angel! What a match!
Kanyon: Of course he has to pick someone who hasn't really indeered himself to the crowd.
"And as for Blink…she can give every reason that you want that you're leaving the EAW. Mention those pathetic X-Men, and mention how you want to help the people…but I know the truth. You're afraid Blink. You're afraid of what someone like myself could do to you. You know if you stuck around, you'd be crippled against real athletes such as myself. Oh it's true, it's true. As far as I'm concerned Blink, stay out of this business forever. Everything will be better off because of it."
The crowd heavily boos Kirk for that one.
"Now, on to my announcement. As some of you may or may not be aware of, Blink considered the MPRW Regional Heritage Title unified with the EAW World Heavyweight Championship. However, though I have the title…I don't really want it. I mean, isn't enough for me to be the EAW World Championship? So tonight, I have a match signed up…the MPRW Regional Heritage championship on the line."
The crowd…gives a stunned, surprise cheer at this.
"Now, I have randomly drawn the first name for this match, which is scheduled for one fall. So introducing first, Challenger number 1….David Flair!"
"My Way" cues up, and out comes David Flair, smiling widely at this.
Kanyon: Randomly drawn my ass. Kirk Angel is doing this as a favor to David Flair for some reason.
Pamela: Don't say that yet. David's opponent hasn't been named just yet.
David Flair enters the ring with a great amount of boos, and shakes Kirk's hand before going to a corner. Kirk takes the microphone up again.
"And now, his opponent…a legend in this business today…a man who is tougher than you could imagine…former World Champion and Tag Champion…ladies and gentlemen…THE IRON SHEIK!"
Pamela/Kanyon: WHAT?
As soon as they all finish talking, the WWF Iron Sheik entrance theme comes out, and the Iron Sheik, waving the Iranian flag as he does.
Kanyon: Um, should we go to a commercial break now? I mean, it'll take Sheik pretty long to get to the ring.
Pamela: KANYON! Show some respect for a legend like the Sheik. He's done more than you have in his career.
Kanyon: Ugh…well, Sheik actually almost to the ring now, David Flair waiting as Kirk hands the MPRW Championship to the referee.
Pamela: Though the Sheik is good, David Flair is a legend killer. I mean, he beat his father right in the middle of the ring.
Kanyon: By being his own referee, you forgot to mention.
Pamela: Details, details.
Kanyon: In any event…this match has started. Sheik off the ropes now, David with a drop toe-hold…Sheik rolls on his back…
Pamela: FIGURE FOUR ANKLELOCK! David Flair has gotten the move on already…and the Sheik's tapping!
WINNER BY SUBMISSION, NEW MPRW REGIONAL HERITAGE CHAMPION:David Flair
Kanyon: I can't believe this, David won the match, and Kirk smiles and hands David the MPRW Regional Heritage Championship belt. David takes a microphone in hand after he wins.
"YOU SEE THAT? YOU SEE THAT EVERYONE? THIS IS FURTHER PROOF…I AM THE NEXT LIVING LEGEND…I AM A LEGEND KILLER! I AM THE SUPERSTAR, DAVID FLAIR!"
"My Way" plays up again, as David holds up the MPRW R.H. title high, celebrating his win as we fade out to another commercial.
**Commercial Break**
"Here Comes The Pain" by Slayer cues up as we come back from break...
Kanyon: Welcome back, evrabuddy, for EAW Riot Rulz...you're back just in time for a tag team competition. Basically, everyone's least favorite second-gen wrestler has sicked his new lackies Gen NEXT on Miller and Action...
Capetta: The following Tag Team Match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, weighing in at 268 lbs...from Generation NEXT--Rash!!
Pamela: LACKIES?! How DARE you...they aren't lackies, they've just decided to defer in-ring leadership to a future living legend...
Kanyon: I got sick of hearing that phrase when I worked in WCW and I'm even more sick'a it now. "Living legend" my ass...
Pamela: Hmm...how do I do that? It isn't a verb...
Kanyon: Nevermind!
"Tormentor" by Slayer then cues up...
Capetta: And his partner...weighing in at 445 lbs...also from Generation NEXT, and accompanied by Generation NEXT manager Donnie B--the BIIIIIIIIG SHOW!!!
Kanyon: Anyway, the deal is that Miller and Action have been causing David Flair some trouble, so Flair's having Big Show and Rash aid in 'dealing with' them. So they are probably out for simple revenge here for their boss.
Pamela: Simple enough..I think you about got it.
"What You Got" by Reveille cues up...
Capetta: And their opponents...introducing first, weighing 245 lbs..."Definition of Talent" Jaaaaaaaay Miiiiiiiiller!!
As Rash and Show wait in the ring, Miller comes out, his music interrupted for "Light It Up" by Master P.
Capetta: And his partner, weighing in at 234 pounds...the "Hellion of Hardcore"...Miiiiiiiike Aaaaaaaction!!
Kanyon: All of these guys have been known to be quite dangerous separately...having them in the ring together may not bode too well...
Pamela: Eh...as long as you've got a stretcher ready for Action and Miller and things'll be fine.
Show and Action start out in the center of the the ring. Show shakes off some shots from Action, then tosses him over the top rope. He steps over the top rope to follow him, but Action springs up on the apron and shakes the ropes, causing Show to get his leg stuck under the bottom rope. Action hits a running dropkick, and Show falls face first on the outside with his leg caught in the ropes. A guillotine legdrop from Action on the back of Show's neck free him, although leaving him in pretty bad shape. Action picks Show up to one knee--but Show with a headbutt to the midsection. He hoists Action up over his shoulder, tossing him over the top rope into the ring!!!
Show climbs back into the ring...goes for a jumping elbow drop, but Action rolls out of the way. Action back up...Show back up...dropkick to Show--fails to put Big Show down. Action back up--Show grabs him with a hand around the throat--charging and shoving him back-first against the Gen NEXT corner.
Boot up under the throat by Big Show, then a tag to Rash...Rash adds his boot to the throat of Action, then Rash sends Action to the ropes, and Show hits a Big Boot to catch him on the chin. Rash goes for a suplex on Action--blocked--Action suplexes HIM instead!! Rash back up--arm drag by Action...Rash up again--ducks a clothesline--grabs Action by the hair and rams him face first into the boot of Show!!
Cover by Rash gets a one. Rash goes for an abdominal stretch...Action holds in there...then Rash uses the top rope for added leverage as the referee checks on Action. The referee sees the hand on the rope--forces Rash to break it up. Argument with the referee, and Action sneaks up from behind--locks on an inverted headlock and drops Rash in a reverse DDT. Long one count, Rash kicks out. Irish Whip by Action--reversal--Rash puts him down with a clothesline. Yanked up by the arm--into an armdrag, then Rash goes up top and hits the Rash Attack. Taunting by Rash, and he tags Show back in...double team Irish Whip--double team big boot misses--Action hits the far rope and hits DOUBLE FLYING CLOTHESLINES on both members of Gen NEXT!! One count on Show as Action is shoved off--diving tag to Miller...
A four-man brawl erupts, with Action and Miller taking control--both Gen NEXT members are whipped into each other...back away dazed--Miller slams their heads together, then hits a dropkick as Action hits a legdrop to the groin on Show. Two count only, and Action drags Rash to the outside to brawl there...
Miller goes up top, and attempts the Jump of Talent as Show gets up--but is unfortunately caught and POWERBOMBED by Show!! Show gets a narrow two off it as Miller barely escapes. Show with a blatant choke on Miller...yanks him up by the throat--Miller kicks futily at Show, who then headbutts him repeatedly, the last one he lets go of his throat on.
Show then...goes up to the second rope!!..and leaps off, splashing on top of Miller...2 count again, but Miller manages to get a shoulder up. Show sets him up for a piledriver--but Miller slips between his legs, ducking out to the outside. Show follows after, chasing Miller around the ring--and Donnie B leaps off the apron with a flying clothesline to catch Miller off guard. Rash tosses him in, and Show climbs in...Show grabbing him by the head...yanking him up...slamming him down on the mat on the back of his head. Pick up, and an Irish Whip by Show...Panca--but tosses him up FAR too high--and Miller manages to fly up into the air, and hooks Show's head and hits a SPINNING DDT on the way down!!!
Donnie B rallies his troops, hitting his hands on the mat to try to get Show moving...the crowd instead chants "Gen NEXT SUCKS!"
Tag is made to Action first...Show does tag in Rash before picking himself up. Action with a dropkick to Show to send him out to the floor dazed (although after flipping out he does land on his feet), then a clothesline to Rash. Rash gets back up--Action hits a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX on Rash, then sneaks in an elbowdrop to the groin. He makes a cover..long 2...but NOOOOOOOO!!...
Action picks up Rash and attempts a spinning neckbreaker--Rash breaks out of it, and catches Action with the SYMBIOTIC CLAW!!!
Action is quickly put down to one knee as the crowd boos...Action tries to fight it off but soon begins to succumb. Action gets a burst of energy and stands up--shoving Rash into the referee...then kicking Rash in the groin. Rash lets go, and stumbles backwards. Action dropkicks him, sending him over the referee that is on all fours, then Action leaps forward and grabs his legs, pinning Rash tight...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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THR--NO!!
Donnie B broke up the pin by coming in and cracking Action in the face with his cane.
Rash tags Show back in...Show steps over the top rope with ease...then picks up Action over his head...SNAKE EYES by Show, and then a powerbomb set up...Show hits the Alley Oop on Action getting a long two. Irish Whip by Show, but Action ducks out to the outside. Baseball slide by Show is sidestepped, and Action snaps the right leg of Show down across the apron. Action rolls in, and makes a tag to Miller as Show pulls himself back up to his feet.
Brawling from Miller and Show..Show goes for a headbutt--but Miller with a go behind--he shoves Show face first into the top turnbuckle pad, then rams it a few more times. Kick to the midsection doubles over Show, and Miller drags him away from the corner and hits the Twist of Talent...
Cover by Miller, and a
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ONE!
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TWO!
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NO!!! Show tosses Miller off of him!!
Show back up, and the two of them slug it out...Irish Whip--reversal by Show--criss cross and a double clothesline!
Miller gets up a little sooner than Show...
Kanyon: Show angry and Miller getting up to his feet...Show now--DROPKICKS?!?!.....Miller out of the ring!!
Pamela: Oh don't be so shocked, you've seen him do it before. :P
Kanyon: And Miller out on the outside, and--*SMACK*
Kanyon: And...Nexus leaping up on our announce tabl--
Pamela: And onto the floor and--OOOH!!...
Kanyon: Nexus clobbering Miller with a lead pipe! Now striking him across the back of the knee now...and stomping his knee onto the pip now...
Pamela: Hmm...maybe I was wrong about this guy...
Kanyon: And...is Generation NEXT another member larger?! Nexus rolling Miller into the ring...Miller trying to stand--but Show from behind!!!...Setting up Miller....Pumphandle..it's...the ULTIMATE FINALE!!! Show with the cover...
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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THREE!!...and Nexus has just allowed Gen NEXT to get the win...
"Tormentor" by Slayer cues up...
Capetta: Here are your winners...Rash and the Big Show!!!
Nexus walks backwards up the ramp, grinning to himself.
Kanyon: And apparently he's not in Gen NEXT...but just was settling something in his own mind..
Pamela: Or maybe he's just a fan. ^_^
Kanyon: I don't think so...but Nexus was hurt in his first match, but Miller didn't do anything that any sensible wrestler would do to an opponent Nexus' size...
Pamela: He STILL did it...well, we'll be back after this commercial break!!
...
**Commercial Break**
Well your ass betta caaaaaaaaaaall someboooooooooooooooood-yyyyyyyyyyy!!!The New Age Outlaws' theme cues up as we come back from break...
Pamela: ....Grr...
Road Dogg: It's me! It's me! It's that D-O-Double G--not rollin' tonight with Pammy P. Standing 6'4" and weighing in at 240 pounds...from Marietta, Geeeeeeeeeorgia!...President Gokuo and the EAW is proud to present...the Road Dogg, Jesse...James!!
Pamela: Will someone please SHUT HIM UP!!
Kanyon: Re-lax, Pam. You at least didn't have to sit next to him through the rest of the show. ^_^
Road Dogg hits the ring..
Dogg: CUT THE MUSIC!...Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. The EAW and President Gokuo...has instructed ME to show YOU the probably way to punk out and punitively damage a certain EAW Superstar...one many of us simply call the BIGGEST ASSHOLE in the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD....Triple Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaych!!!
Kanyon: He does have a certain style...doesn't he?
Pamela: Just get this over wi--
"Primal Concrete Sledge" by Pantera cues up...
Pamela: FINALLY, now we can finally see Triple H put an end to this pain. I can't...take...much more...
Dogg: And my opponent...fresh from basically being made to look like a total bitch from the Cataclysm Pay Per View...standing 6'4" and weighing in at 250 lbs....being preceeded by his nose which is 34 inches long...
Kanyon: HA!
Dogg: ...and a schlong about a tenth of that...he's...
The Road Dogg drops his mic as Hunter goes right after him, not even waiting for him to finish his introductions..
Kanyon: Well, the fun and games have ceased due to Helmsley being a party pooper...this match is ON!!
*ding, ding*
Dogg: Slugfest to start now...James taking control now--Helmsley to the ropes--ducks under the clothesline...Helmsley to the far ropes aaaaaaaand BACK BODY DROP!! Hunter back up--scoop and a slam by Road Dogg. Road Dogg pulling him up by the hai--jawbreaker by Helmsley! Helmsley with a knee to the gut--Road Dogg to the ropes--knee to the midsection! Elbow to the back--and a Vertical Suplex by Helmsley...suspended high in the air...aaaaaaaaaand..drops him down hard on this back!! Cover by Helmsley!!
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ONE!
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Kickout before two.
Pamela: And Helmsley currently my FAVORITE wrestler for beating the hell out of this arrogant pothead jackass. Chinlock now while driving the knee into the back...picking him up now--backdr--back elbow counter...left jabs by Road Apple, to the corner now--charging in--and Helmsley gets the knee up...locks the arms behind--NO, slipping free now...NO! DAMNIT...a DDT by Road Dogg!!
Kanyon: Road Dogg off the ropes...and the Crazy-Legs Kneedrop on Helmsley...cover...
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ONE!
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Kickout!
Pamela: Oh come on...like a move like that'll even faze a star like Helmsley.
Kanyon: Helmsley rolling out of the ring--Road Dogg following after him--spins Hunter around...slugging away on him now--
*WHAM!*
Kanyon: And into our announce table here...salen, por favor!
Pamela: Road Dogg with an INVERTED Atomic Drop on Helmsley--eye poke--and knee lifts to the midsection. Swing and a miss by Helmsley--DROP TOE HOLD face first into the steel stairs!!
Kanyon: And the point of impact was probably all nose...Road Dogg rolling Helmsley in...up top now...DRIVING ELBOW to the sternum!!
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ONE!
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TWO!--NO!
Pamela: Um...Road Dogg is...surprisingly crisp in the ring tonight.
Kanyon: True, but he's still be away from the ring for quite some time, so the ring rust will likely be a huge factor...side headlock now--and Bulldog coming u--NO! Helmsley shoving the Road Dogg into the ropes--Helmsley with a Release German Suplex!! Road Dogg back up--CLOTHESLINE by Helmsley!! Helmsley picking up Road Dogg--snapmare, and some crossface punches, into a chinlock--Road Dogg attempting to fight out of it--Irish Whip--coming back--HIGH KNEE by Helmsley into the jaw of Road Dogg!! Cover by Helmsley!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!!
Pamela: Helmsley dominating the Road Dogg, Dragon Sleeper now--dropping the back of Road Dogg's neck into his knee. Road Dogg trying to fight out of it...
Kanyon: Helmsley yanking Road Dogg back up by the neck--wait! Slips free---Road Dogg with elbows to the stomach...off the ropes--SHOULDERBLOCK on Helmsley!! Helmsley up--snapmare by Road Dogg--HARD knee into the upper back...off the ropes...ANOTHER Crazy Legs Kneedrop!! And the
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!
Pamela: ARGH...Road Dogg back in control...Helmsley to the corner--ROAD DOGG ramming his shoulder into the abdominals. Knee lifts in the corner...set up now for a Superplex....aaaaaaaaaand hits it!! Road Dogg floats over!!
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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Kickout!!
Kanyon: Not quite getting it...but Road Dogg seems confident..a CROTCH CHOP over the face of Helmsley!! And pulling up Hunter by the hair...Russian Leg Sweep being set up...favored by Brad Armstrong--but Helmsley elbowing him off...Helmsley following up...BACKDROP!! Road Dogg getting back up in a daze...SINGLE ARM DDT!! Helmsley with a cover...
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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Kickout!!
Pamela: Helmsley just about ready to wrap this match up...I can feel it...picking up the increasingly prone Road Dogg...to the ropes..
Kanyon: Ducks the clothesline from Helmsley--left jab...another...the Shake Rattle and Roll combination!!....and a RIGHT HAYMAKER to Helmsleys sends him over the top rope to the floor!!
Pamela: I think he fell out of the ring on purpose--to keep Road Dogg for going for the pinfall...
Kanyon: Sure...Road Dogg following Helmsley as he crawls out on the floor...
Pamela: Uh on... Kanyon: Road Dogg now grabbing those wires--CHOKING HELMSLEY WITH THEM!!
Pamela: DISQUALIFY HIM!! DISQUALIFY HIM!!!
Kanyon: Well, Road Dogg is bending the rules a bit, but it tends to happen to someone who is a former Hardcore Champion--in WWF of course.
Pamela: Of course...he'd get neutered if he went for the EAW Extreme Title.
Kanyon: Well, once again Pamela showing her impartiality. MULE KICK by Helmsley as Road Dogg was yanking him up by the neck. RAMMING Road Dogg's head to the apron now...THEN the steel steps...Helmsley with those wires now..CHOKING ROAD DOGG with them..and now..HANGMAN'S NECKBREAKER using the wires...is THAT legal, Pam?
Pamela: Er...at least he's using them in a wrestling move. ^_^
Kanyon: Rolling him back into the ring...and Helmsley back in...stomping away on Road Dogg--pick up now--set up by Helmsley, back body drop by Road Dogg!! Road Dogg taking a breather...now picking up Helmsley...Irish Whip...Helmsley to the ropes--CHIN CRUSHER by Helmsley!! Helmsley picking up Road Dogg by the hair...
Pamela: ...or by those ridiculous looking braids, as the case may be. PEDIGREE SET UP...and HITS IT!!...
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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THREE!!!--
*ding, ding*
Pamela: And YES...my night ends right!
"Primal Concrete Sledge" cues up again...
Kanyon: And the special opponent arranged for Triple H doesn't quite get the job done...and Helmsley taunting the Road Dogg now...
Pamela: Leaving the ring--wait, not quite...he's looking for something under the ring...!
Kanyon: And--not again--he's got a sledgehammer! Helmsley crawling back into that ring now...Road Dogg trying to get away--drops it into the gut of Road Dogg...now rearing back..
Pamela: *Whispering* Helmsley trying to concentrate to make this putt...and...OOOOOH...right into the jaw!!
Kanyon: What in the hell?! What's he trying to do...Helmsley just swinging that sledgehammer into the jaw of the Road Dogg!!
Helmsley raises the sledgehammer over his head as the crowd boos him...
Kanyon: And it looks like Road Dogg may not be returning to do commentary anytime soon...and Helmsley just leaving..PROUD of THAT?!...
Pamela: Well, it's what's called "payback" Chris...and Road Dogg got it...
Kanyon: This has been EAW Riot Rulz--and could we get some medical personnel to this ring...?