After the usual Riot Rulz intro, we open to a series of wide-angle shots of the Pond, giving us glimpses of the various signs in the audience:
"We Demand a Re-Count!", "Dead Girls Never Say No!", "Necrophilia: Lay Back, Relax, and Crack Open a Cold One", "nWo 4-Life!", "18 was Screwed...and not in the way she wants!", "EAW has a new Flair now!", "CRMAC is the REAL World Champion!", "Angel for President!", "S&M: DNR ME!", A Pro-Kyouki Shoujo sign with Japanese Writing on it. (it says "Kyouki Shoujo Forever!"), "Austin: Fueled by Beer!", "2003: EAW STILL rules!", and "I Want To Play Basketball With My Head, Jim!"
Kanyon: Welcome everyone, to EAW Riot Rulz!! And--why are you wearing that nWo shirt Pamela?
Pamela: Just showing my support for the best incarnation of the nWo ever, and for who will go down in history as the greatest EAW champion EVA!!
Kanyon: And I thought I got over my sickness already. Yech. Well, we've got a tremendous night ahead of us--but first... *sigh*...our new President has a speech to deliver.
Pamela: ALRIGHT! A new, better champion, and a new, better President for the new year!! I'm psyched!!
"Also Sprach Zarathustra" cues up, drawing a mixed reaction from the crowd, but most able to cheer even against their own will...
Capetta: Ladies and gentlemen...presenting, the new EAW President, the 'Nature Boy' Riiiiiiic Flaaaaair!!!
Ric steps out from the back, briefly waving to the crowd, before taking his place in front of the podium.
"Ladies and gentlemen...fans and employees, I'm pleased to bear here as your new EAW President! Now, a lot of you are worried about just what kind of a President I will be. Let me try to assuage your fears, and show you that I will be, by far, the best president the EAW...has ever had.
"However, let me first make it clear: the state of the EAW is strong. The EAW may be neck and neck, if not in the lead, with the sheer amount of talent under its roof. Not a great deal of untalented stars, but a great deal of some of the finest ever in this sport. The EAW has solved problems that have long been serious in professional wrestling.
"Drugs are not a serious problem in EAW. Performance is valued over look, therefore steroid use is heavily discouraged. The EAW has healers who can make wrestlers practically 100% right after their matches. Thus, injuries are rare, and matches that wrestlers go through do not have their careers shortened by constant wear and tear on their bodies. Because of that, there is no need to be users...who turn into abusers...of painkillers. The EAW doesn't work their wrestlers into an early grave, and the use of portals assure them plenty of time with their families without the dangers, pressures, and time eaten up that being on the road can cause. Families are able to stay together, rather than have relations strained, and broken by a business that normally consumes the life of a superstar. As a result of all this, wrestlers are happy, healthy, and more willing and more able to give better performances. There isn't any glass ceiling apparent to me, that will limit upward mobility, and chances to advance...and earn a larger paycheck.
"And let's not forget the fans. The fans here...love wrestling. They aren't necessarily here to see one or two people, but the wrestling. Top to bottom, they know everyone is giving their all, to entertain them, and try to outdue each other, to reach that higher rung. The fans can enjoy a great diversity here. There isn't a certain style that wrestlers are restricted to using. Few moves are restricted, and they don't have to be stuck with using an extremely limited arsenal of moves. There's little playing of favorites around here--something I'm planning to continue--regardless of whether our not our champion is my own son. Lastly... I pledge to improve on all my predecessor has done. Be more involved, and see there is no shortage of opportunities for those who work hard, and gain the adoration--or even just the attention, of the fans. Fans--the EAW is NOT about what Gokuo wants, or what I want. It's about what you want. YOU are the ones that pay the wrestlers' salary, my salary--not that I need it--and the salary of the bookers and writers. If the bookers and writers are doing something majorly wrong...they'll be the ones who suffer, not the wrestlers. The wrestlers are the BACKBONE of this company. They draw the money. They are who you came to see and paid to see. This is a wrestling company, not the personal playground of the owners. You do not need to see old men's naked asses. Yes, my streaking are loooong over!"
Kanyon: I should hope so.
"My predecessor, Lord Gokuo, the current main owner and Vice President, was not terrible at what he did. However...he did things that irked people. He didn't take his job seriously...spending most of his days having sex in his office and playing video games. Gokuo's like a teen who won't grow up. I'm a fully grown man...as well as a legend in this business. I'm not someone who spent his alleged 'wrestling career' tossing guys onto beds of nails, piledriving them onto thumbtacks, suplexing them onto mines, and busting light tubes over their heads. Of course, we have a LITTLE bit of that here, but that's just one of the various kinds of matches we can expect--not the whole thing.
"The nWo are likely going to be a huge force in the EAW. However, if you want that not to happen, keep on your toes, and do your best to work towards winning, improving, and making that step upward. All superstars, whether EAW or nWo, still answers to me, the Vice President, and the staff. As long as they're making money and working hard, I have no interest in what colors they wear, and whether or not one of them happens to be my own flesh and blood.
"In conclusion, thank you for your time, from the NEW...WHOOOO!!! EAW President! Thank you! Goodnight, and enjoy the show!!"
"Also Sprach Zarathustra" cues up again...
Kanyon: Well, I don't know how much of that is truth, and how much of it is total B.S., but Ric at least SEEMS honest...
Pamela: Of course he is! He's a Flair! And whenever he's not honest...he's just doing what's best for the business.
Kanyon: Or thinks he does. I'd beg to differ with Kelly's claim that Akiko is the most deluded person in EAW, I'd think that would be either Ric or David.
"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!!" Michael Connelly, mic in hand, comes out from the back. "Prez...where ya going?"
"Connelly? This isn't exactly the time..."
"Oh, I think it's the perfect time. Ric...you're quite the orator. And the title of 'President' seems to fit you quite well."
Ric smiles, chest thrust out.
"Yup...lie to the people, lie some more, be promiscuous, break all your promises, lie again. Perfect. Ric, I'm not as untrusting as Austin is, but I know one thing to be fact, and that's 'Don't Trust a Flair.' Someone whose entire career was built upon cheating, lying, backstabbing, smiling to people right to their face, while you shine up that knife you hold behind your back. Then you suck up to the fans and the employees. Even if everyone out here is eating out of your hand eventually, I'm not joining the Flair Cult of Personality."
"You don't want to trust me? Fine, then don't. I EXPECTED this. You aren't the only one I'm sure. However, I don't want to make any new enemies. Just make amends. I hope you realize of course that a Flair on the most deceitful of days...is still better than Hogan on one of his best."
"Hogan is no longer an owner. He's not even the president of the company," Michael replies. "Let it be known even back when this 'poll' was held, I never voted for you, nor will I ever. Two months, Ric...then you have no security in your position anymore."
"Which is why I thought this was a good way to start it. I've already told you. I'll be a FAR better President than Gokuo ever was. I'd be a little less concerned about the power struggles up top, and more concerned about my matches if I were you, Michael. Like trying to win the tournament to see who is going to lose to David on the next Pay Per View," he gives a wise-ass smirk to Michael.
"Already showing that impartiality I KNEW you would," Michael sarcastically replies. "I hope you didn't put any money on that belief, because I wouldn't count on it. However, you'll be under my proverbial microscope, Nature Boy. Once I get my next shot at that title, Daddy won't be able to help his little boy anymore. He's in a man's world now," Michael says, dropping the mic as he heads to the back.
"Can't anybody get the benefit of the doubt anymore?" Ric asks to the crowd into the mic.
*********
The scene opens up to a bus stop bench. We see... Ariel! She's happily snacking on a big bag of M&Ms as Red & Yellow sit next to the adorable kitten-girl. They just stare at Ariel in abject horror at seeing that. She looks at them... smiles... =^-^= ... then goes back to eating the little candies as she kicks her legs up and down cutely.
Yellow blinks. "How...how can something so cute be so cruel?"
Red gulps...moving away from her. "Let's get out of her before she gets any ideas..."
Ariel blinkblinks... cocking her head, then holds the bag out. "Want some?" =^-^=
The two of them pass out at her asking them that.
Ariel blinks... then looks to the camera as she cocks her head. "What I say?!" =^-^;=
***
Kanyon: We're back, folks! There's been a lot of build-up regarding this next match, Pamela! It's been no secret that both Erica Angel and X want to win this match for different reasons... Erica wants to advance so she can win the title in memory of her lost friend Suzuko! On the other hand X wants to advance because he feels it's his time to reach the upper echelon of the EAW!
Pamela: There's no question about any of that... of course they're both jumping the gun! They still have to win the tournament first!
Use my body to keep you alive!
"Never Gonna Stop" cues up, and the fans cheer as X comes out to the ring. He looks to the fans, then smiles, making a bee-line to the ring and sliding in, spinning to his feet and looking straight at the entrance.
Kanyon: X looks very focused here! The tournament is beginning to wind down and another Superstar here will be pushed to the wayside as the victor will move on! It'll be either X... or THIS woman!
I THINK THEY SHOOT 'CAUSE THEY WANT IIIIIIIIT!!!!
"Bullets" cues up as Erica Angel steps out from the backstage area, at her side, Hollywood Hulk Hogan! The fans cheer wildly as she smiles, then rushes over to the ring...
Kanyon: WHOA!! ERICA LIKE A SHOT-- AXE BOMBER RIGHT TO X!! SHE QUICKLY FOLLOWS UP-- SHINING ELBOW!! DAVE HEBNER CALLING FOR THE BELL!
Kanyon: X gets up-- WHOA! HAMMER OF JUSTICE ALREADY?!! But Erica's not following up... grabs X up... X counters! KICKS TO ERICA'S FACE! Erica rolls with it-- KICK TO X'S GUT! FLINGS HIM TO THE CORNER! SHE FOLLOWS UP-- FLIPPING SLAM! Erica jumps up to the top rope... CORKSCREW BODY PRESS!! PIN!!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kanyon: TWO COUNT! Erica almost beat X in record time! It shows how much she wants to win!
Pamela: Remember what Mikey said though!
Kanyon: Both competitors up-- AND ERICA SENT DOWN WITH A FLYING FOREARM SMASH FROM X!! JUMPS UP TO THE TOP! MOONSAULT! BUT ERICA ROLLS AWAY TO SAFETY!! GRABS X-- GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!! ERICA GETS UP-- X STAGGERS UP TOO-- X WITH A SHOT TO ERICA'S GUT! DDT! X now... locking in the Eastern Lock! Pulling on that arm! Erica refusing to tap out though! X releases the hold... picks Erica up and whips to the corner! CLOTHESLINE! X quickly climbs to the top! AND...
Kanyon: DRAGONRANA!!!!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kanyon: ERICA YANKS HER LEGS FREE! KICKING OUT OF THAT PIN ATTEMPT! X picks her up... IRISH WHIP-- NO, ERICA COUNTERS! KICK TO THE GUT! JIUJITSU THROW!! And-- HAMMER OF JUSTICE!!! A VARIANT! AND THE PIN!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
.
.
.
.
.
Kanyon: KICKOUT! Erica's quickly showing she can hit that Hammer of Justice any time she feels like it, doing her sensei Keiji Muto proud!
Pamela: But she hasn't beaten X with those variants. She sucks. =p
Kanyon: Easy now... HIGH ANGLE BACK DROP BY ERICA! Pick-up by Erica... whips to the rope! CLOTHSLINE BY ERICA! SHE QUICKLY CLIMBS TO THE TOP AND-- MOLLY GO ROUND!!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
.
.
Kanyon: And X powers out! He dashes over-- KARATE KICK RIGHT INTO ERICA'S FACE!! He picks Erica up... and-- DOUBLE ARM BACKBREAKER!! Erica rolls to her feet... X charges in-- ERICA GRABS-- AND--MEXICAN STRETCH BOMB!! THE PIN!!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THR--
Kanyon: KICK OUT!! JUST BARELY!!!! ERICA ALMOST, ALMOST!!! SHE ALMOST ADVANCED!!
Pamela: Almost doesn't cut it, Kanyon!
Kanyon: X STOMPS ON ERICA'S HEAD BEFORE SHE CAN GET UP--AND LOCKS IN THE DRAGON SLEEPER!! ERICA STRUGGLES TO GET FREE... AND... OH! ERICA RAKES X'S EYES! ERICA GETS UP-- SPINS TO X'S BACK--MEXICAN SUPLEX PIN!!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kanyon: BUT X KICKS OUT! And... hey! Look who's just came out to the stage!
Pamela: It's Arianna! With... green hair?!
Kanyon: She seems to be watching X intently... X manages get up... GRABS ERICA! WHIPS TO THE CORNER-- ERICA COUNTERS!! FOLLOWS UP-- HAMMER OF JUSTICE IN THE CORNER!!!! ANOTHER HAMMER OF JUSTICE!!
Pamela: How many different times can that girl smack X in the head with her knee?!
Kanyon: Arianna... at least I THINK that's Arianna... looks concerned now, as Erica picks X up-- X SHOVES ERICA BACK-- DROPKICK!! HE GETS TO THE TOP ROPE-- MOONSAULT!!!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
Kanyon: NO! ERICA REFUSES TO GIVE IN!!! SUZUKO'S MEMORY STILL BURNING BRIGHT! UPPERCUT TO X'S JAW DROPS HIM! AND-- 39 FIRE SPIN!! ERICA DRAGS X ALL OVER THAT RING!! ERICA STOMPS X FOR GOOD MEASURE... what's she doing... she's getting Hogan to get some weapons... a table! A chair! Erica smiles, she turns around-- AND GETS SMACKED IN THE HEAD WITH A HOOK KICK BY X!! ERICA STAGGERS BACK-- X SETS HER UP--
Kanyon: X-PLOSION!!!! X HAS HIT THE X-PLOSION!!!!! PIN BY X!!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THR--
Kanyon: NO!!! ERICA GETS A SHOULDER UP! UNBELIEVABLE!!! X PICKS ERICA UP-- ERICA KICKS X IN THE GUT AND-- HAMMER OF JUSTICE!!! STANDING VARIANT!!!
Pamela: YET ANOTHER Hammer of Justice!!! o_O;; Yeesh, girl!!
Kanyon: X is down on one knee and Erica takes advantage-- SPINNING CLOTHESLINE!! And now... LOCKS IN THE BUFFALO SLEEPER HOLD!!!! X IS FADING FAST! GREEN-HAIRED ARIANNA LOOKS REALLY UPSET! DAVE HEBNER'S CHECKING THE ARM... IF IT DROPS THREE TIMES ERICA WINS!!!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THR--
Kanyon: NO! X ISN'T OUT OF THIS FIGHT YET! AND-- HE RAKES THE EYES IN TURN!! ERICA ROLLS TO HER FEET-- X ADVANCES-- ERICA KICKS HIM HARD AND-- EMERALD FROISON!! Erica now, quickly putting that table to good use... setting it up into the corner! Throws X to it!! Erica looks like... a Hammer of Justice into X through the table! That may be what Erica's got planned!
Pamela: That girl's smacked X too many times in the head with her knee! That guy's gonna end up having a fear of knees!! o_O
Kanyon: ERICA CHARGES IN-- X DUCKS! ERICA SMACKS INTO THE TABLE!! AND X MOVES IN-- KARATE KICK!! AND ERICA GOES THROUGH THE TABLE HEAD-FIRST THROUGH THE SHEER FORCE OF THAT KICK! ERICA'S BUSTED OPEN!!!! HOGAN LOOKS REALLY CONCERNED NOW! SMACKING THE CANVAS TO GET THE FANS TO SUPPORT ERICA! GREEN-HAIRED ARIANNA CLAPPING, SHOWING HER SUPPORT OF X! SO MUCH IS GOING ON!! X PICKS UP THAT CHAIR NOW!! ERICA STAGGERS UP... X IS GOING TO CAUSE FURTHER DAMAGE TO ERICA'S HEAD AND-- ERICA KICKS X IN THE GUT!!! HE DROPS THE CHAIR--DDT TO THE CHAIR!! X IS DOWN!! ERICA STAGGERS BACK AND--ohh... here it comes...
Pamela: Not again... @_@
Kanyon: IT'S THE ORIGINAL THIS TIME!!! THE FINISHING BLOW--
Kanyon: HAMMER OF JUSTICE!!!!!! ERICA PINS!!! ERICA ADVANCES--?
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THRE--
Kanyon: NO!!!!!! MY GOD!!! X GOT THE SHOULDER UP JUST BARELY!!!!! ERICA CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! SHE'S IN ABSOLUTE SHOCK!! Erica quickly gets up, rushes to the ropes-- STARSAULT!! NO! X GETS THE KNEES UP! ERICA STAGGERS BACK HOLDING HER GUT! X TAKES ADVANTAGE--PUMPHANDLE SPIKE!!!!
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THREE!!!!
Kanyon: X HAS DONE IT!!! X WINS!!! HE ADVANCES!!! AND DASHES ERICA'S HOPES AND DREAMS!!
Pamela: So not only does she loses a shot at the title, she has to wait on realizing that dream... and she doesn't get a chance to fight her brother, either! Wow, she loses THREE times!
Kanyon: And the look on Erica's face tells the tale! She's devastated!!! She's looks as if she's about to cry... the dark horse of this tournament has come up short! She gets up now... and turns X around!
Pamela: Oh, here we go! Erica's gonna get even!!
Kanyon: Erica... holds her hand out! She's congratulating X on the victory!! And he accepts the handshake! Erica raises his hand!!
Pamela: After everything she's lost?! Bleh, what a poor unsport.>=/
Kanyon: But she's a great sport! She's said it herself... she's patient enough to wait for another shot at the title-- WAIT A SECOND!!!
Pamela: IT'S BULLWHIP!!!
Kanyon: HE JUST SMACKED HOGAN IN THE BACK WITH A CHAIR AND SLID IN!! HITS X WITH IT!! ERICA BLINKS! SHE ATTACKS BULLWHIP!!! KICK TO THE GUT BY BULLWHIP THOUGH STOPS HER! AND HE THROWS HER TO THE OUTSIDE! Bullwhip now... grabs another table and sets it up... and... oh God, he just set it on fire!! That table was pre-soaked!!
Pamela: X is the only one in the ring left! This isn't gonna look good, Kanyon!!
Kanyon: BULLWHIP WHIPS X TO THAT BURNING TABLE!! FOLLOWS IN-- CHAOS!!!!!! MY GOD, CHAOS THROUGH THAT BURNING TABLE!!!! BULLWHIP'S HURT, BUT X IS HURT EVEN MORE!!!!! AND HOGAN'S UP!!! THE HULKSTER QUICKLY DRIVES BULLWHIP OFF, BUT THE DAMAGE IS ALREADY DONE!!! X NEEDS AERITH BADLY! SO DOES ERICA!!! FOLKS, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! DON'T GO AWAY!!
***COMMERCIAL***
The film breaking style of photography begins, the screen going black and white...then...
NEW-NEW-NEW-NEW WORLD ORDER!
"nWo Anthem" starts to play, and the crowd boos heavily as David Flair, Kelly Connelly Flair, and Erik O'Reily...all in nWo gear, coming out. Pamela: And THIS should be interesting...we're back now with the first EVER nWo World Heavyweight Champion, David Flair along with two of his stable-mates.
Kanyon:...since when did YOU become supportive of the nWo, Pamela? I thought you HATED that group.
Pamela: That's before I found out David was the leader!
Kanyon: I see. Well, a few members of this group now coming out...conspicuous by their absence are Glenda Jacobs and Bret Hart though...one must wonder where they have gone off to.
Pamela: My sources tell me that they are waiting in the back, planning something under David's orders.
Kanyon: Right...that's gonna be great. Let's just hope that he's not on too long...they're in the ring now...
The camera goes back to color after all three are in the ring, and David gets a mic. "ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA...YOU ARE NOW NWO COUNTRY!" he says, to a chorus of even more boos.
Pamela: How can they be so unappreciative of the World Heavyweight Champion?
Kanyon: Well look what he did to the belt Pam...he's not exactly what they want for champion.
Pamela: Blah...at least he's not some roid-monkey.
David hands his wife Kelly the mic next, and she smiles. "Well, well, well people...what a turn of events, huh?" she begins, chuckling a bit as she listens to the crowd's reaction. "Didn't expect it to be my husband, did you? You see...we had a long-term plan, David and I. We were going to go out there and we were going to systematically taking apart EAW until we got what we wanted...a World Title shot."
David takes the mic again. "And all I have to say now is...WHO DA CHAMP NOW!"
Pamela: You can't deny that much Kanyon.
Kanyon: Ugh...don't remind me about that. It sickened me in WCW, and it sickens me now.
David smiles. "But before we talk more about the title situation, let's give the mic over to our newest member, Erik O'Reily!"
The crowd's boos intensify, apparently supporting Akiko as far as it comes to this young up-and-comer..."Well...the future is looking bright, isn't it?" he begins with a smile on his face. "I've joined one of the most successful, elite groups in wrestling history! I've become a big shot now!"
Kanyon: ...forget what I said earlier, THIS is the most delusional guy in wrestling today.
Pamela: SHH! Give the guy a chance!
Erik smiles to the camera. "Akiko...remember...all of this? I'm doing it to show you're wrong about me...and that I truly do love you. And here's another sign of my love...Hokuto Lyger? I'm challenging you for an EAW Cruiserweight Championship match! And if you are the fighting champion, then you will accept!"
Kanyon: Is this kid nuts? He's challenging for a title match when he's only had two matches in this company?
Pamela: That's how confident he is now that he's a part of the nWo. Now we'll have to see if Hokuto is confident in her own skills to accept the match.
Kelly smiles as she takes the mic from the young O'Reily. "Isn't that great? Soon, not only will the nWo World Title be in our possession, but we will have Erik O'Reily being the first nWo Cruiserweight Champion! I am managing the future right here!" she says smiling.
Kanyon: PLEASE! Someone get the hook already!
David takes the mic next. "That's right Kelly, and I am in charge in the ring of this success! As the nWo World Heavyweight Champion and the leader of the nWo, there is nothing that can stop us. Because you see...and I say this on the record...with a win over Eighteen, and the nWo World Heavyweight Championship belt around my waist now, I have become the most powerful force in this company today!" David boastfully states, to the boos of the crowd but to the applause of Erik and Kelly. David smiles. "And there isn't a person on this roster that can disagree with that!"
Pamela: Bravo David! That's the way to tell the people the truth!
Kanyon: I'm sure that there are going to be a lot of people who want to disagree with that statement...
THOOOOMMM!!!!!!!
Pamela: EEP!
Kanyon: And here comes one now!
"Shock" suddenly cues up as the dome-like explosion rocks the arena... as it fades from the stage, Eighteen stands there... dressed in blue jeans, buckled boots, her new Red Ribbon "18" insignia jersey and a black leather jacket, she just stares at David, her arms crossed and a microphone in hand.
Pamela: What could she possibly want out here right now? This isn't her time!
Kanyon: Why don't you go up there and tell her that?
Erik nearly jumps out of his boots in surprise, and Kelly holds onto her husband...who surprisingly remains stone-faced in this situation. David just smirks...and walks over to the ropes, holding them open as if welcoming Eighteen...but does it in a mocking manner as well.
Pamela: Well, at least David is being a gentleman for her.
Kanyon: Why he's doing it like this I don't know...is he just ASKING for his ass to be handed to him?
Eighteen just stares at David... then uncrosses her arms to place the mic over her mouth. "Before you get the wrong impression, David... I'm not avoiding coming into the ring because I'm afraid of you. I'm staying put here because it's for your own safety! The safety of your wife, and Date Rape Lad over there!" Eighteen pauses to look to the cheering fans. "No, you see... I want you to be at a 100 percent, Flair! So you won't have any excuses when I eventually beat the crap out of you and reclaim the EAW, the EAW Title, from you! NOT the nWo Title...!!" The fans really cheer out as she makes the proclamation.
Kanyon: HAH! That's telling him girl!
David just smirks a bit. "Look at the belt..." he says, un-strapping it from around his waist. "Do you see ANY mention of EAW on the belt? No. Do you see mention of the nWo on it? Yes. That should tell you and these people something." he adds with a smile as Kelly re-straps the title around his waist. "And what makes you think that you're going to be getting a rematch anytime soon? The next deserving fighter will be whoever wins this tournament that is occurring. And looking through the brackets...I don't see your name ANYWHERE on the list. So you know what that means? That means, quite simply, you will be waiting a LONG time before you get another title shot, my dear refugee from an Erector Set."
As David says this, Erik is holding back jumping Eighteen for that "Date Rape Lad" comment.
Eighteen nods softly. "Really... well, you know something David? A lot can happen between now and the end of the tourney... so why don't we do something in-between that fixed set of time?" Eighteen reaches into her in-line jacket pocket and pulls out... a contract! "You have to defend that belt... EAW Title, nWo title, whatever... and you WILL defend it, next show... a rematch, you and me. And our esteemed co-commissioner Morrigan has decreed that NO ONE from the nWo is allowed to be at ringside during out rematch!"
Pamela: WHAT!?
Kanyon: It looks like the Digimortal will be getting a rematch for her championship in the very near future!
Kelly and Erik huddle up with David to talk things over a bit, before pulling away, Kelly now with the mic. "We see no problem with our champion defending his title...but one thing...WHY WAIT?" she says with a grin on her face. "I mean...I think the only reason you challenged David for the next show is because you're afraid of what he did, and you want to fight your fear. Tough luck though...we're challenging you for TONIGHT! Right after the Mikey/Hokuto match!"
"All right... OH, almost forgot..." Eighteen smiles. "Morrigan also noted that the challenger can choose what KIND of match... so, I figured let's REALLY give the fans one hell of a match... and by hell?" Morrigan steps out from behind Eighteen, smiling as she crosses her arms. "... I mean a HELL IN A CELL MATCH!!!" Morrigan waves her hands, and like magic, the monstrous steel structure appears right above the ring!!
David chuckles. "Hiding behind gimmicks to prevent your weakness from being shown, huh Teena?" he asks, smirking. "Fine, we'll play your little mindless game. But the result? Just like the last time, you will fall to the superior talent...yours truly."
Eighteen's eyes narrow. "Flair... I hope you're prepared for the pain tonight... you may be the 'superior talent' like you say you are... but superiority is no match for a force of nature like me..."
"Shock" cues up once more as Eighteen walks to the back. Morrigan stays for a moment, waves to Flair, then turn to walk away.
Erik makes a gesture to cut the music with his hand, and David grabs the mic. "What Eighteen and Morrigan fail to realize is that...whether they like it or they don't, THIS is the best thing going today!" he says with a proud smile on his face. "And this title being around my waist being short lived? I don't think so. Because you see...when you're the nWo World Heavyweight Champion like me? You're going to be the nWo World Heavyweight Champion..."
David stops, and lets Kelly and Erik join him for the finish. "4...LIFE!"
The nWo Anthem plays after David finishes that statement, and he, Kelly, and Erik leave to a chorus of boos.
Kanyon: What an announcement we heard for tonight! A Hell in the Cell match for the EAW World Heavyweight Championship, David Flair vs. Eighteen!
Pamela: Get it right though Chris! It's the nWo World Heavyweight Championship right now! Go David!
Ugh...folks, we'll be back with Austin vs. Buzzsaw after this break!
****COMMERCIALS****
When we return...we cut to backstage.
Morrigan is on her cell phone, talking to someone. "Aye...? Aye, so the Swan's Nest went well for ye?" She pauses, then smiles. "Aye, ye'll be a welcome addition tae the EAW, Page..." she pauses, looking to the door. "... I'll call ye back. Pest problems..." she turns the phone off and calls out. "COME IN, PAUL."
Paul Heyman blinks, but shrugs as he enters her office, and looks at Morrigan. "OK...what's the big idea, ignoring the rules Morrigan?"
"I know what ye'er jabbering about..." Morrigan says, placing her feet on the desk, her hands behind her head. "Paul, Vince McMahon, whether ye like him or hate him, said it best. The nWo is a poison. The sooner we get the EAW World Title from them the better. I just took the initiative, 'tis all."
"That doesn't matter though, you KNOW that all contracts are supposed to go through BOTH commishes before being certified for good." Heyman says, stepping forward to take the contract into hand. "I'll just take this and go to my office and read."
"All right, ye dae that..." Morrigan says. "... Laddie, sorry... but ye know I'm right. The nWo has tae be stopped... the less power they amass the better..."
Heyman smiles. "I didn't say that you were wrong, beloved. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't get in trouble with the board of directors." he says, kissing her hand quickly, then standing up. "Don't want to see you lose your job." he finishes, going to walk out.
Morrigan sighs softly. "... Laddie..."
"OH! One more thing..." he says, stopping. "I know you probably know about it, but should I announce my idea for the Tag Title Division tonight or no?"
"Aye..." Morrigan nods. "'Tis all must be resolved..." She lowers her head. "... Paul... I dinnae like ye... but... we must be united in this..." she looks up at him. "... We both must take up the cause tae defeat the nWo... they must be stopped."
Heyman nods. "Right...I'm on your side." he says, going to kiss her hand again.
"Good... good..." Morrigan sighs softly, then turns away. "... Just so ye know... I forgive ye."
Heyman blinks. "Forgive me...for what?"
"When it happens.... ye'll know..." Morrigan says softly. "Go, lad. Dae what ye must dae."
Heyman blinks...confused. "Um...right." he says, shrugging and walking off...out of her office. The camera follows him down the hall...until he's pulled off, his mouth covered, into a hallway.
We cut back to the announcer's table, where we find a surprised Kanyon and Pamela blinking at the footage.
Kanyon: What was that all about? And what does this mean with the contract for the main event for tonight's show?
Pamela: I don't know...I just want to know who was the person or persons that abducted Heyman like that. Poor future husband of Morrigan.
Kanyon: Now don't you start. Let's get ready for our next match.
"Ride On A Shooting Star" by the Pillows is playing, the crowd cheering as Akiko and Oseiko appear on the stage, doing Hardyish poses.
Capetta: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 252 pounds, Akiko and Oseiko, Kyouki Shoujo!!
The two high-five, and rush the ring, going to adjoining turnbuckles and doing the Hardyz Gun point...
Kanyon: Welcome back folks, and a double tag-team return bout on hand here, with Kyouki Shoujo teaming up for the first time here in a while, and S&M returning from some naggng injuries.
Pamela: Well, S&M is always good, but something seems to me like they've...I dunno...gone soft?
Kanyon: Well, they've seemed like their old prick selves lately to me, so maybe you're the only one. I think it's mainly because of the return.
Pamela: Whatever.
"DNR" by Testament interrupts, and "Amplifier" by The Deadlights begins to play. There are many boos, but surprisingly most of the crowd cheers...
Pamela: Hm--see?!
Kanyon: Well, they're just coming back. Give 'em time.
Capetta: And their opponents...at a combined weight of 515 pounds. The returning team of Spike and Morty, the tag team combination of S&M!!
Pamela: Maybe it's the bisexuality--it IS California, here, after all. =P
Kanyon: Hmm--point, and S&M looking shocked about it, but they don't seem to care too much. They're here to kick ass, and hitting the ring now.
Pamela: Weird to think we have the only male bisexual tag team in EAW going against the only straight female tag team in EAW, right here!
Kanyon: What about Deadly Extr--oh yeah, the fusion.
Pamela: Eh, not sure about them, though. GoG? Bi. S&D? At least one bi member. Glenda and Sonic's relationship terminated...
Kanyon: Well, she's going to name her tag partner here tonight, so maybe KS will no longer be the exception. *ding, ding*
S&M whisper to themselves as Akiko's scissors beat Oseiko's paper, and Morty and Akiko enter the center of the ring. They circle each other, and tie up, with Akiko hitting a front dropkick into his chest--doing a backflip, and drop-toe-holding Morty. She locks on a headlock, and knees him into the gut, shooting off the ropes, and attempting a neckbreaker, which is blocked and turned into a backdrop. Akiko gets up as Morty hits the ropes, and attempts a Frankensteiner--Morty stops, blocking it, and attempts to powerbomb her.
Kanyon: Akiko hammering Morty into the face--Morty trying to toss her down onto the ropes over his shoulder--Akiko grabbing the top rope--grabs hold!! Skins the cat back up--Roundhouse blocked--SPINNING KICK into the face!! Akiko into the ropes, backspring moonsault!!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
Kickout!
Akiko gets up, and tags Oseiko in, dragging Morty by the ankles near their corner--Oseiko gets up to the top rope, and hits legdrop across the throat as Akiko does into the midsection, and Oseiko covers as Akiko exit. Kickout after one by Oseiko.
Oseiko pulls him up to his feet, and sets him up for a bulldog, running up the corner--but Morty tosses her behind him. He ducks a spinning round house, leg dragging Oseiko, and tossing her back-first into the turnbuckle, then catches Oseiko with a Mort-A-Whirl DDT which gets a huge pop from the crowd. He drags Oseiko away from the corner, locking on a side legbar, wrenching the ankle...Oseiko attempts to break free of of the hold by kicking him in the back of the head with her free leg, with he tries to shake off, but then uses one arm on the leg bar and the other to block the kicks, but Oseiko sits up with a throat thrust.
Kanyon: Nice move there...the "Mistress of the Counter" strikes again, and Oseiko back up--backflipping away, and Morty charging--leapfrog--tag made to Spike as Oseiko hits the far ropes--Spinning HEEL KICK on target!!
Morty gets up, and ducks a roundhouse but is knocked off balance with a sweep kick--Spike dodges a spinning back kick by Oseiko--but a BIG BOOT to the CHEST and a hard side kick to the back knocks the wind out of Oseiko.
Kanyon: OOOOOH...modified version of the Gangbang on Oseiko!!
Pamela: I never thought I'd hear "Gangbang" and "Oseiko" in the same sentence. Supply and Demand--sure, I expect it with them, though.
The two pick up Oseiko, and Morty locks the STF variation on in the ropes, as Spike hits the far ropes, and nails the Spear.
Kanyon: S&M SPECIAL on Oseiko, and there simply isn't much you can do to counter THAT move.
Pamela: Yeah you can. Forfeit the match!!
Spike pulls Oseiko out of the ropes, scoop slamming her, and puts his boot on her chest for the cover--2 count only, and he pulls her back up--whip into the corner, and Oseiko staggers out of it
Kanyon--Spike reaches back--GRABS OSEIKO BY THE THROAT!!!
Pamela: ONE HANDED CHOKESLAM BY SPIKE!!
Kanyon: Oseiko in trouble here--
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO!
.
...AND STILL SHE KICKS OUT! Spike looking at Morty, shaking his head, no doubt impressed by her resilience...Oseiko pulled back up, and sent into the ropes--DIVING DROPKICK into the knees!! Oseiko staggering Spike! The the other ropes--SLIDING SWEEP KICK KNOCKS THE LEGS OUT FROM UNDER SPIKE!! Standing Moonsault by Oseiko!! And now...submission time!! Oseiko attemping that Sunrise Five Lock on the tree-trunk-like legs of Spike!!
Pamela: Two of Spike's 3 legs locked up in this unique submission hold, and Spike trying to make towards his corner--easier than for most due to his height and reach.
Oseiko certainly knows that, but when Spike sits up, and uses his powerful arms to pull apart the submission, there is little she can do...Oseiko rolls backwards and is the first up, hitting the ropes, but is caught and PANCAKED face first by Spike...he sets up Oseiko, in the N.M.E. but Oseiko slides behind, landing on near her corner, and makes the tag before leaping forward and catching him in a headscissors takedown--although the takedown part doesn't work so well, and she's hoisted up, caught, and POWERBOMBED before rolling out to the outside!!
Kanyon: Akiko up on the top rope--SCORES with the missile dropkick into the back!! Spike down on all fours--back top to the top--and GUILLOTINE LEGDROP across the back of the neck!! Pulling up the massive Spike now--Irish Whip--blocked--SHOULDER BLOCK by Spike!! Spike to the ropes--JUMPING ELBOW DROP ON AKIKO!!
Pamela: Uh-oh--it was fun while it lasted!
Kanyon: THE HARDLEYZ coming down here with Ryan!! J-Von and Bubba Matt hit the ring, double teaming Spike!!
Pamela: Into the ropes--3D!!
Pamela: Akiko up--DIVINE WIND--ducks--Bubba Matt with a combination of jabs, tossed into the ropes--TWIST OF FATE!! Morty in--J-Von with a spinning heel kick!! Sets him up now, and hitting a Twist of Fate of his own!! Up to the top--SWANTON BOMB!!
Kanyon: Ryan setting up that table as Bubba Matt tosses the already downed Oseiko into the ring...Ryan lifting up Oseiko for the powerbomb--J-Von to the adjoining turnbuckle--
Pamela: POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE AS J-VON HITS THE LEGDROP!!!
*ding, ding, ding, ding*
Kanyon: SOMEBODY STOP THIS MESS!!--and--SONNETTE COMING DOWN TO THE RING!!! Ryan cheering on the Hardleyz outsite of the ring now as they stomp away--BLASTS RYAN IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! INTO THE RING NOW!! J-VON WIPED OUT!! BUBBA BLASTED--still on his feet!! A SECOND TIME!! Woozy but still standing--
Pamela: Morty getting up, and from behind--KICK INTO THE GROIN!!
Kanyon: And across the BACK OF THE HEAD!! Akiko up--Spike up--CHOKESLAMS BUBBA MATT!! And Kyouki Shoujo with the X-MARK on J-VON!! That did it, and the Hardleyz beating a hasty retreat as their victims recover!!
Pamela: But where's Sonnette's partner? Doesn't she have one?
Kanyon: I don't know--but this'll be a no-contest...but I think the Hardleyz are in store for more EAW violence, and SOON!...
**Commercial Break**
Capetta: Ladies and gentlemen, making her way to the ring, she is the current EAW Tag Team Champion, Sonnette Kintobor!
Kanyon: Welcome back folks, and it appears that RIGHT NOW we're going to get that announcement from Sonnette!!
Pamela: I don't think she has a partner. =P
Kanyon: I'm pretty sure she does, she's just gutsy enough to want to have done that save on her own...
Sonnette comes walking out down the aisle, pushing, of all things, a dolly carrying the trash can Glenda used on the last show to dispose of her title belt. Both of the belts are currently over her shoulders as she makes a beeline for the ring, tossing the trashcan into it before rolling in herself. She then takes Capetta's microphone. "Hello, Anaheim! (Obligatory Cheap Pop) Tell me something, how many of you were watching last week, when the Christmas Creature tried to Grinch us all by not only walking out on a title match, not ONLY throwing the title IN THIS VERY TRASH CAN, but joining the absolute MOST HATED faction in wrestling HISTORY, the Nasty, Wrinkled... oops, forgot, Hogan's not a member anymore. The nWo!"
The crowd boos.
Sonnette smirks. "I'd guess most of you saw it, huh? Well, while Glenda's heart may still be three sizes too small... goddess knows her asshole is, for the size of that stick that I finally gave up on trying to pry out! I'm not going to let her decision to take a crap on all we did and stood for stop me! I've been looking around the EAW for someone to take her place..." The crowd cheers, eager to find out who. "There've been plenty of good prospects, too. Like the Lone O'Hare Brother Bullwhip, or the bitchy cloned sister Violette... NOT! Spike, Mort, if you're watching, don't worry; I've got better taste than to team up with PMS&M, regardless of form. I've thought a bit about joining my old friend Colley, but he needs to focus on his singles career. And then of course, there's an old idol of mine, Stone Cold... WHAT?!" Sonnette grins. "I said, Stone Cold... WHAT?! Stone Cold Steve Austin! But then I thought to myself, enh-enh!" She says it just like Stone Cold would. "Anyone who hangs around with that bitch Kelly Flair, even if he's dropped her on her ass now, doesn't deserve a chance to team with me! It dawned on me that nobody in the EAW now who wasn't already teamed with someone could work as my partner... OR as a tag team champion. But, there is someone WHO was in the EAW who could... who would... and who IS!"
"Faith of the Heart" by Russell Watson (the Enterprise theme song) begins to play....
Kanyon: Eh? Does this sound familiar to you, Pamela?
Pamela: Not at all, apparently we have a returning star coming back to EAW--
The crowd cheers and looks to the entrance.
Indeed, the person who comes from the entrance, and down the ramp is now is not a current member of the EAW-but was one, once. And definatly a very memorable one, from looks alone. A..creature, walks down the aisle, it's head a smooth blue, it's right arm covered with black fur with a white stripe running down it, the right a rough, pebbly brown. It's torso, covered in a trenchcoat, doesn't hide the white dragon wings, nor the pink, long tail...or the legs clad in multi-coloured fur..
Kanyon: DEREK WALKER?! Derek Walker has returned to the EAW!!
Pamela: Hmm--so, are Oseiko and Akiko still the only fully straight female tag team in EAW?
Kanyon: Well, since Derek isn't female, I suppose so...
Sonnette grins. "May I introduce to you, the NEW half of the EAW Tag Team Champions... a former People's and Extreme Champion; you can beat me up later if I forgot any... Derek... WALKER!"
The crowd explodes into cheers.
Kanyon: Derek made quite the big splash in the EAW last year, but injuries to hir nearly ended hir career...I had no idea shi was back in top form again.
Derek Walker climbs into the ring, and looks around the cheering crowd. Shi blushes hard, embarrassed from all the cheering, and moves to Sonnette, talking into the microphone. "T-Thanks for all the cheers! I'm back! I've recovered fully from what happened to me in my last EAW match, and with Sonnette's urging-and what happened last week-I've rejoined the EAW to help her! I..wasn't expecting this, though...I thought everyone forgot about me!"
Sonnette grins. "Obviously, they haven't. You're not exactly a forgettable person. Here... I believe this is yours now. Don't worry, I cleaned it; Glenda's stink should be all gone by now!" She passes over one of the title belts to Derek.
Kanyon: Well, right now, it looks like Son has a more than reasonable substitute for Glenda.
Pamela: So...just handing hir a title belt? Is this the WWE now?
Kanyon: I think she's prove hirself worthy.
The crowd begins a chant. "DER-EK! DER-EK! DER-EK!"
Derek Walker smiles, taking the belt, and putting it over hir shoulder, still blushing hard. "I don't know if I exactly deserve it, since I'm just back and all...but I'm damn well going to make sure that I do end up deserving it, I promise!" Shi looks around at the audience again, still looking a little stunned from the cheering and chanting.
Pamela: If not, I'm sure some other team will take both of those belts away....
Sonnette takes the microphone back. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot... hey, Nash-ette! Get up off your ass before you push the stick any deeper, and get out here; I've still got something that belongs to you, too!" She folds her arms, tapping her foot. "Well? I'm waiting...."
N-N-N-New World Order....
Glenda's new singles music, "Breath" by Disturbed cues up and Glenda swaggers out onto the stage, her hand son her hips, sunglasses on, looking up at them.
Derek Walker snaps out of hir stunned state, turning to face Glenda, brushing the hair from hir eyes.
Sonnette smirks. "Well, well, well... nice to see you've still got as much balls as you had when we were still a team, at least. As you can see, Glenda, unlike your old 'friend' Mick, I've managed to get myself a new partner before having to defend again... someone who's twice the woman and three times the man you ever were!"
Kanyon: HEH! I don't think she's exaggerating either.
Pamela: Yeah--Kevin Kelly's dream date here, everyone. =P
Derek Walker blushes a little, and rubs the back of hir head. "Plus, I don't apparently have a stick up my ass."
Kanyon: Careful Glenda--don't blow out a quad.
Glenda just smirks and cocks her head abit and yawns, holding her hand in front of her mouth.
Pamela: Eh, she's taking it in stride.
"However, in your rush to get out of my glorious presence last week, you apparently forgot something." She grabs the trash can in both hands, valuting over the top rope to land on her feet. "You see, Glenda, you don't throw the title in the trash. Not unless you've just come from another company and were paid a hefty bonus to do it, at least. Throwing your own company's title away? Well, that just proves that YOU'RE trash. And so... allow me to put you where you belong!" And suddenly, in a blurr too fast for the cameras to capture properly, Sonnette is standing behind Glenda, trashcan raised over her head... and she brings it down on top of her former partner!
Kanyon: YEAH!! That's where nWo members belong!!
Pamela: DO NOT!! Glenda doesn't deserve to be treated like this!!
Kanyon: And..WHY NOT!?!
Pamela: Please...don't act like Tony. >_<
Glenda stumbles forward, falling to her hands and knees in pain. Derek climbs over the rope, and down to the floor, and watches Sonnette and Glenda, a bit of a grin touching hir face.
Sonnette smashes her with it again to send her down off her hands, then pushes the open end of the can over her head and shoulders, adding several stomps for good measure. "And thanks for not bringing your black and white running buddies along; you made my job a lot easier!" She looks back to Derek. "C'mon, partner.
I think we're done here."
Kanyon: Well, Glenda's position has certainly been filled, and quite well, with the returning Derek Walker!!
Pamela: Soooo...what do we call these two? The New Age Furries? The Zoo? If the Supply and Demand name wasn't taken--well, Son's bi and Derek has all the parts...
Kanyon: Well, I'm sure they'll come up with something, but Glenda's name is mud right now.
Derek moves to go with Sonnette, but pauses, looking down at Glenda, and shakes hir head. "Nope, there's just one last thing I have to do before we're done!" Shi grabs Glenda by the shoulders, lifting her up a little..and swallows Glenda's entire head, after knocking off the trash can, applying hir finisher, the Endless Hunger!
Kanyon: And Derek with...perhaps the most bizarre finisher in the history of EAW!!
Pamela: Just the look of it makes me feel ill...
Glenda soon snaps back to life, flailing and kicking.
Derek releases Glenda, and then decks her one last time, before wiping hir lips, and moves to go with Sonnette. "Now, we're finished!"
Sonnette smirks. "Lemme buy you a drink to wash that taste out of your mouth..." "Live and Learn" cues up again as they leave, leaving Glenda sprawled out on the stage.
**Commercial Break**
"Points of Authority(Reanimation Remix)" by Linkin Park cues up as we come back from break...
Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall under No Disqualification rules, and is a quarter-final match in the EAW World Title Shot Tournament!! Introducing first, now residing in Venice Beach, California...he stands 6'3" and weighs in at 229 pounds. One half of the team of Chainsaw...Buzzsaw!!
Kanyon: Welcome back to Riot Rulz! A hell of a show is on tap here tonight, and we're only halfway through!!
Pamela: Right...and up next, STONE COLD!! STONE COLD!! STO--oh, yell, you get the point--in a tournament match. SO, is Buzz Rattlesnake Cannon-Fodder, or you think the former tag champion is gonna pull off an upset?
Kanyon: Well, Austin the favorite going into this match, I think. Buzzsaw getting into the ring, and--
*KRAAAAA-AAAASH!!!!*
"Glass Shatters" by Disturbed cues up, and the arena erupts into cheers, although some boo him from the title match incident last week.
Capetta: And his opponent, hailing from Victoria, Texas...he stands 6'2" and weighs 241 pounds: STOOOOONE COOOOOOLD STEVE AUSTIN!!
Kanyon: The Rattlesnake getting a great ovation from the fans here at the Arrowhead Pond, but a minority seem to be a bit resentful about last week.
Pamela: Well, "it" happens, as Steve's more or less say. Although David Flair as champion IS a good thing.
Kanyon: Oh man...how much are the nWo paying you?
Pamela: *whistle* Paying me? Naaaaw...
Kanyon: AUSTIN RUSHING THE RING, and Buzzsaw and Austin already ready to tear each other apart, rights crosses and elbow shots here!
*ding, ding*
Kanyon: Austin taking control here, and Buzzsaw into the ropes--grabs a hold of them, ducks the clothesline from Austin, and nails a quick back kick into the chops!! Austin on the ropes--Buzzsaw to the far ones--coming back--AUSTIN BOOSTS HIM UP AND OVER!! Buzz on the apron, snapping the back of Austin's neck across the top rope!! Down onto the floor--yanking the legs underneath him, and spikes the knee into the apron!
Pamela: So much for being free of those knee problems--Buzz grabbing the ring bell--
*DING!...DING!...DING!*
Pamela: AND THE WINNER!!
Kanyon: Not quite. Yanking Austin out by the ankles, and ready to send him into--REVERSAL!! Austin with an inverted Atomic Drop!! Austin RAMS him back-first into the apron!! And more rights, clobbering Buzzsaw--rushing clothesline--duck, and a drop toe hold!! Up onto the apron, and leaps off--ELBOW DROP into the back of the neck!! And obviously Austin's old problem areas the point of attack.
Pamela: Buzzsaw pulling him up, and a SUPLEX out here on the outside!! Austin rolling over, attempting to get back up--Buzzsaw readying that steel chair--charging in--SHOULDER CHARGE into Buzzsaw!! Buzz' chair smacked into his face, and Austin grabbing that chair, and ACROSS THE BACK!!! Again!! And Austin like a bloodthirsty animal attacking Buzzsaw!! And folding up that chair--SNAPPING THE NECK down over the seat of the chair!! And that could make it nigh-impossible to breathe, even!
Pamela: Well, that's what Aerith's for, and now Buzzsaw going for a ride--FACE FIRST whipped into the ringpost!! And no count outs or DQs to stop this--Austin is in his element here.
Kanyon: Looks like Austin setting up the Spinebust--NO! Knee lift into the midsection!! And Buzzsaw posting the shoulder!! That exposed ringpost is really coming into play here, and Buzzsaw has Austin by the waist--DROPPED SHOULDER FIRST ON THE RAILING!! And Buzz may be trying to dislocate Austin's shoulder here!!
Pamela: Well, that Stunner is practically destroyed if he does succeed to do that.
Kanyon: Grabbing that steel chair--and YES!! THAT TIME the force was behind the chair. ANOTHER shot into the shoulder!! And laying the chair down...
Pamela: Powerbomb set up--LOW BLOW counter by Austin!! And left handed punches by Austin! Kick into the stomach--DDT onto the steel chair!!!
Kanyon: That could be a knockout blow, but he's dead weight here on the outside...Austin pulling him up, and tossing him into the ring...rolling him in, and sliding in--cover--
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO!--KICKOUT! And the first near-fall of the contest.
Pamela: HEEEEEYA!! We have a guest coming out here!!
From the entranceway, no music or anything of the sort, comes Mike Sanders, dressed up fully in a suit...coming out, and just standing there...watching.
Kanyon: Well, Sanders seems to have a wish to get his ass beat by Austin, but nothing wrong with watching his matches if he wants to do it. Austin seeing him now--there's the Texas state bird--a pair of 'em. Sanders not flinching however.
Pamela: A crude fellow, isn't he? Austin dragging Buzzsaw near the corner, and going up to--SECOND ROPE ELBOW into the sternum!! And now Austin back up, and here goes the turnbuckle pads!!
Pamela: Buzzsaw sneaking up--SCHOOLBOY ROLL UP!!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO!--KICKOUT!!
Kanyon: Buzzsaw getting up, grabbing the ankles--CATAPULT FACE FIRST into the turnbuckle!! Austin staggering backwards--FULL NELSON!! And BUZZCUT executed!!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO!
.
pulls up his shoulder with the rope!
Pamela: Great ring presence by the cagey veteran Austin, and Buzzsaw's gonna need to keep the pressure on to win this, and he picks up the Rattlesnake--wait, elbows leveling him in the belly, and catches him--BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX?! Er, from Austin?
Kanyon: You saw it--and Buzzsaw getting up--knee into the midsection--suplex attempt here, and JAW BREAKER counter by Steve!! Now draping his body over the middle rope--Austin into the far ropes--jumping on top and the Stun Gun now!! And the weight held down on top of Buzzsaw!! Choking the life out of him!!
Pamela: Reverse DDT position here, and looks like a vertical suplex coming up--Austin hoisting him u--NO! Landing behind, and a waistlocked side suplex on Austin!! Austin trying to fight free--GERMAN SUPLEX!! And looks like another--elbow shots--Austin slipping free--Irish whip--off the ropes now--Austin POUNCING--BUZZSAW DUCKS DOWN AND AUSTIN tossed through the ropes to the floor!!
Pamela: Austin getting NOTHING on that move, and Buzzsaw has a chance to score a decisive win over an icon in this sport!!
Kanyon: IF he gets him in the ring quickly here. Buzzsaw rolling out of the ring, and grabbing Austin--rolling him in the ring now, and grabbing the arm, ready to ram it into the exposed turnbuckle--NO! Foot up by Austin! Goes for a mule kick--blocked by Buzzsaw--Austin into the ropes--grabs them--rushing in--KICK into the midsection!! Austin hooking the neck--locking both his arms now, and STUNNER!! STUNNER!! STONE COLD STUNNER!! And I do believe he put some stank on that one!!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO!
.
.
.
THREE!! *ding, ding*
Pamela: He looks like he pinched his eyes closed from the pain...
Kanyon: I think Austin had to, or the regular Stunner may not have done the job, and he didn't quite have the leg hooked correctly, but he pulled off another win in EAW!
"Glass Shatters" begins to play.
Capetta: And the winner of this match, and further advancing in the tournament--STOOOONE COOOOOOLD STEEEEVE AUUUUSTIN!!!
Kanyon: Going up to the corner to celebrate this win, and Sanders...smiling? As he leaves to go backstage.. Hm...curious.
Pamela: Well, up next, our REAL main event, the new and improved Michael Connelly vs. Kairi's hasbeen sister.
Kanyon: Every bit as 'impartial' as Connelly thinks the Nature Boy is.
Pamela: Well, sometimes the truth hurts, Chris...
**Commercial Break**
---
Kanyon: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen! If you've just joined us--
Pamela: --Then what the hell were you THINKING missing the show like that?! We've had one HELLUVA show, way better than any "Best of 2002" crap you could get from WEAK Wrestling Entertainment programming!
Kanyon: *not missing a beat* --we've Code Red and Hokuto ready to go at it for a chance at the World Gold, coming up! And who bettah than Kanyon and Pamela to bring you the action!
"Broken" by Bruce Dickinson cues up, and most of the crowd breaks out into cheers. Those that didn't appreciate some of his bitingly honest commentary earlier in the week, particularly those fans loyal to Eighteen, boo a little.
Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following "No Disqualification" Tournament Match is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring from Mars, Pennsylvania, standing 6' 2" and weighing 235 pounds, he is the Dawning Legend -- "Code Red" MICHAAAAEL CONNELLYYYY!!!!!!
Pamela: Mikey getting some boos as he comes down the ramp, but he's ignoring it like a professional, shaking hands with a LOYAL ringside fan, even autographing her sign before climbing into the ring...
Kanyon: The former champ taking the boos in stride, but you gotta wonder what's going through his mind during all this... He's certainly made some controversial comments about the former champ Eighteen, and some suspiciously supportive comments to that scumbag, David Flair... I don't like this, Pammy... it has all the signs of a defection, from where I sit...
Pamela: Oh relax. The Dawning Legend tells it like it is for once, and people chew his ass over it... Well it doesn't matter because he's M-A-C! Mikey heading to one turnbuckle, showing off with a split-legged moonsault, but landing on his feet. Giving fans the Rob Van Dam homage...
Kanyon: Uh-oh... Now I KNOW something's up...
Pamela: WHAT?! Why can't I give someone props without you going ape-shit? I just like him, is all. He's cute. He's talented. He's not worried about getting a few boos for doing the RIGHT thing, rather than what keeps all these monkey's happy...
Kanyon: He's also MARRIED, Pammy.
Pamela: Bah. No crime in admiration... Besides, no one can take YOUR place in my heart.
Kanyon: I'd be flattered if I didn't know you were gonna shoot me down as soon as I took the bait.
Pamela: You want me. Yer just too proud to admit it. S'okay, lot's of guys lust in vain for me... It's okay to join the ranks of the hopelessly enamoured...
Kanyon: You're hopelessly enamoured of yourself enough for the both of us... Anyway... Here comes Code Red's competition, to "Voices" from the Macross Plus soundtrack--also found on the EAW "Aggressive Openings" album hitting your store shelves very soon!
Capetta: And his opponent, from Kyoto, Japan, standing 5' 4" and weighing 129 pounds -- HOKUTO LYYYGER!!!!!!
Pamela: Mikey starting off aggressively with a series of powerful Kawada-esque kicks againt the challenger just as she sets foot in the ring, showing off his versitility in the early goings of this match. He's not giving her any openings or even room to breathe as the ref calls for the bell.
Kanyon: Roundhouse to Hokuto's jaw by Code Red, short knee to the gut to follow, and FINISHES with a dizzying sweep at Hokuto's ankles! He follows up with stomps as she lays on mat, not giving her a chance to get to her feet!
Pamela: The Dawning Legend showing off with an outside crescent kick, hopping forth with a middle kick, and a kick attempt caught by Hokuto, which he PLANTS HER FOR A NASTY ENZUIGIRI!!!!!
Kanyon: Hokuto in trouble now as Code Red wraps her up for a pin in the early goings, but Hokuto with a shoulder up before Two.
Pamela: Connelly going for a MACKnife Powerbomb, but Hokuto counters as he hoists her up! A palm strike to the eyes and then she slips over his shoulders into a Guillotine choke!
Kanyon: And Hokuto turning the momentum around now as she continues those palm strikes, those Shoteis, up and across Connelly's torso. They seem to be taking their toll on the Dawning Legend, as he struggles to get free of them--
Pamela: OH! And Hokuto finishes those Shoteis off with a Chuugeki Hou/Shougeki Ha combo that sends Mikey reeling back to the ring post! Oh no!!!! Get up Mikey!
Kanyon: Hokuto laying into Connelly with Renshou Geki and following it up with an armbar takedown, going for a pin!
.
ONE!
.
TWO--!!!! And Mikey with the shoulder up!
Pamela: *Whew!*
Kanyon: Hokuto lifting the former World Champ to his feet, and ramming his face into the turnbuckle a couple times, going for a Praying Rope Walk, but Connelly catches her with a DDT!!! Hamming it up for the crowd, now while Hokuto shakes out the cobwebs from that... she's up on her feet now--
Pamela: WOW! Check out that Shining Wizard by Code Red!!! A REAL Shining Wizard too, not that crappy Hurricane Shining Black! That is BEAUTIFUL, probably better than any that Erica or Mutoh himself have done.
Kanyon: It was damn good to be sure, but don't oversell it Pam... sheesh.
Pamela: Hokuto wisely getting some distance between herself and Connelly by rolling out of the ring and making her way to the timekeeper's bell, taking advantage of the No-DQ stipulation there, and CLOCKING MICHAEL ACROSS THE FACE WITH THE UNFORGIVING METAL BELL!!!!
Kanyon: Mikey's not out from it though, and he staggers over to grab a steel chair to even the odds!!!
Pamela: He swings, MISSES--! Hokuto ducks and jabs him in the gut with the timekeeper's bell! Setting up to hit him in the back of the head with that bell now, there she goes, raising up--!
Kanyon: --But Mikey rolls out of the way, and shoves her back! He muscles the ringbell away from her now, takes a few steps back, and-- RUNNING POWERSLAM ON HOKUTO, sending her straight down onto that hard, unforgiving floor!
Pamela: Mikey setting up a powerbomb, ready to deliver more punishment to Hokuto's spine...
Kanyon: NO! Hokuto counters with a Kidman Facecrusher!!!! She grabs the chair, now, climbing our announce table, and BAM!!!! FLYING RIGHT INTO CONNELLY WITH HER STEEL CHAIR!!!!!!! Connelly rolled to avoid another headshot, but his arm took most of the brunt of that blow, and he doesn't look too happy about that! He's holding that arm in pain, and Hokuto sensing an opportunity now to wear down her opponent, taking shot after shot on that injured arm!
Pamela: Mikey writhing in pain, but he still can come out strong... YES!!! A HARD LARIAT WITH HIS GOOD ARM, KNOCKING HOKUTO ON HER ASS!!!!
Kanyon: And he follows up with a Crimson Tide as she gets to her feet, lifts her to her feet, and BRUTALLY RAMS HER HEAD FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!!!!
Pamela: Grabbing that steel chair, and back onto the apron, NAILING Hokuto running, diving Dropkick angled drive the chair down ONTO her head while she lays on the steel steps. She looks out, now and the ref starts the count...
One...
.
.
.
Two...
.
.
.
Three...
.
.
.
Four...
.
.
.
Five...
.
.
.
Six........Hokuto stirs, and sluggishly grabs the rope to help herself up.
Pamela: CONNELLY WITH A MICHAELSAULT AS HOKUTO GETS TO HER FEET, AND THERE'S THE PIN!!!!!!!!!!
.
ONE!!!
.
.
.
TWO!!!!!
.
.
.
THR--!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Kanyon: HOKUTO GOT THAT SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST POSSIBLE INSTANT!!!! The ref's hand was MILLIMETERS from mat! MAH GAWD, AH CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pamela: ...
Kanyon: What?
Pamela: ... I'm going to SMACK YOU if you EVER do that again...
Kanyon: ...Sorry. Connelly with a Crimson Crunch Clutch, but Hokuto counters--doubling back, and dashing up the ringpost with Connelly in tow, for-- A CRUCIFIX LYGERBOMB!!!! MAH GAWD, A CRUCIFIX LYGERBOMB OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!!!!!!!!! AND THERE'S THE PIN!!!!!
.
.
.
ONE!!!
.
.
.
TWO!!!!!
.
.
.
*Pamela smacks him audibly*
Kanyon: OW!
Pamela: I WARNED YOU about that... No more JR-isms. And Connelly getting the shoulder up just before the three!
Kanyon: Yeeesh. Anyway, Mikey and Hokuto trading blows now, Mikey seeming to have the advantage in that exchange... But Hokuto with that chair again, and tossing it to Mikey, and SHE WADS HIM WITH HIS OWN VAN HALENATOR!!!! OoOoo... and look at him spin around from the impact of that kick!!!
Pamela: C'mon Mikey, c'mon c'mon C'MON!!!!
Kanyon: And Hokuto setting him up on the top turnbuckle again, giving the fans a pop of her own with that kata as Connelly spaces out there... and there she goes, taking a page from Trish Stratus's book now with a Stratusphere Handstand-rana--! NOOOO!!!!!
Pamela: MIKEEEEEY!!!!! WITH A COUNTER!!!!!!!! He grabs her legs just before they can wrap around his neck, and lifts her up----SITDOWN POWERBOMB FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!!!!!!!! GOOD GOD!!!!!!!
Kanyon: And Connelly setting her up in the Tree of Woe, bounding back, and RIGHT BACK INTO HOKUTO WITH A SLIDING DROPKICK TO THE FACE!!!!!!
Pamela: Hokuto reeling from that slightly, but she recovers quickly, shaking off that kick, and going for one of her own--! Missile Dropkick--NO!!!! Mikey leaps back to duck out of range! But his back to her now gives her the opportunity to--OH SHIT!!!
Kanyon: She lands the Keishukou, taking Mikey to the ground!!!!! And there's a roll-up--!
.
.
.
ONE!!!!
.
.
.
TWO!!!!!!!
.
.
.
Mikey with the shoulder up!
Pamela: Hokuto now setting up a crucifix hold, ready for another Crucifix Lygerbomb----NO, MIKEY REVERSES!!!!! Condition Red!!!!!!!! CONDITION RED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONDITION REEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kanyon: Connelly with the pin now--!
.
.
.
.
.
ONE!!!!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Ding-Ding-DING!!!*
Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner, "COOOODE REEEEED" MICHAAAAEL CONNELLYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
Kanyon: Condition Red, Condition Red, Condition Red? Pot, and kettle, Double P, that's a total JR-ism.
Pamela: Yeah, but it was ME and not you. Mikey's hand being raised now, and--
"Feuer Frie" cues, and from the crowd sprints Kairi Lyger, who slips in the ring behind Connelly...
Kanyon: The hell is goin' on now...? OH MY GOD!!!!! KAIRI WITH AN IRON SCYTHE ON CONNELLY, FOLLOWING UP WITH THE LION'S GATE!!!!!!!! Connelly's been the first to feel Kairi's new additions to his arsenal. He's got that steel chair now, and going for guillotine ram against Code Red's trachea--!!!!!
Pamela: No, thankfully Hokuto providing the voice of sanity now, as she she wrests the chair from Kairi, but he shoves her down roughly... What a way to treat family.... But the damage has been done already.... He may not have gotten that Guillotine in with the chair, but his message seems to delivered.
Kanyon: Kairi looking down at Connelly now, shaking his head and leaving quickly... right into the waiting microphone of Michael Cole...
Pamela: Wonder if he's in the mood to talk...
Cole follows Kairi as he starts to climb over the security ramp, and asks, "Kairi Lyger, would you mind telling everybody just why you--"
Kairi grabs Michael Cole by the collar, which instantly shuts up the interviewer. Then, he smirks, and says clearly and defiantly into the microphone, "He's in my way."
Pamela: Hmph. Little doubt of what he means by that...
The camera shows a split screen with one half revealing David Flair, with the "nWo" World Heavyweight Title draped over his shoulder, and the other half revealing a very serious looking Eighteen, who tosses some boxing jabs toward her camera... Both are leaving their respective dressing rooms, shot at low angles, striding purposefully toward the curtain area...
Kanyon: Well, folks, looks like we'll have Eighteen and David Flair, NEXT!
When we come back from break, we find Paul Heyman, slightly the worse for wear and adjusting his hat, looking up to the camera.
"Hello everyone...before we get started with our main event for this evening, I wanted to make a special announcement."
"Now as you know, the Tag Team Division has been kinda quiet recently with the EAW World Title shot tournament, which has caused unrest in now former EAW Tag Team Champion Glenda Jacobs. However, I'm about to fix that."
"Because you see, in an upcoming show, we will have a 10 team battle royal for a shot at the Tag Team Championship belts! I've already picked out the 10 tag teams, and I think that everyone will agree that these are the best teams for the job. The teams are..."
1)An nWo Combination
2)An Asylum Combination
3)The Hurri-League
4)S&M
5)Kyouki Shoujo
6)Supply and Demand
7)Chainsaw
8)Girls of Goth
9)American Angels
10)The Hardley Boyz
Heyman smiles. "I hope all 10 teams are ready by the time this battle royal takes place. Remember, over the top rope rules. If one member of your team is eliminated, the whole team is eliminated. The remaining team will face Sonnette and Derek for the Tag Team Championships! Good luck...and don't worry, you won't have to face Team Angle in the near future." he says with a wink.
--------------------
When we get back to the arena...we find the cell for the match being lowered.
Kanyon: Ladies and gentlemen, it's almost time for this special attraction World Title match...where Eighteen will try to regain the championship that she was robbed of last show!
Pamela: I don't know if she can, but she did do a power play by having this match be in the cell, AND having the nWo being banned from ringside.
Kanyon: The cell lowered over the ring...now let's go to Gary Michael Capetta!
Capetta: Ladies and gentlemen, the following one-fall contest is a Hell in a Cell match, and is for the ...ugh...nWo World Heavyweight Championship!
Kanyon: I'm betting that he's just waiting for SOMEONE to take that title from David!
Pamela: We'll see if...
THHHHOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!
Pamela: DAMNIT!
Capetta: Introducing first the challenger, from the Red Ribbon army...standing 5'8" tall and weighing in at 125 pounds..."The Digimortal"...EIGHTEEN!
Kanyon: And she is planning on getting the title that she feels she was stripped of unjustly back tonight! Planning on becoming a TWO time EAW World Heavyweight Champion!
Pamela: She's going to have a hard time doing it though. She's facing a man who bases his whole life on being the best possible fighter he can be!
Kanyon: That's very true...
Suddenly, the camera starts to show the breaking film effect...and...
NEW-NEW-NEW-NEW WORLD ORDER!
The camera shows black and white, and "Superstar" plays over the speakers. Out comes David Flair, all alone.
Capetta: And her opponent, representing the nWo, standing 6'2" tall and weighing at 210 pounds, he is the... nWo... World Heavyweight Champion... DAVID... FLAIR!
Kanyon: And surprisingly, David does not seem worried at all about this match.
Pamela: Of course he isn't Pam! I mean, he beat Eighteen before, didn't he?
Kanyon: But that was a one-on-one match where Eighteen didn't know who she was facing. Now she knows her enemy, and she seems to be ready to utterly decimate David.
Pamela: The question is if that will affect anything!
Kanyon: David now in the ring, the referee visibly having to have to restrain Eighteen...DAVID WITH A BELT SHOT TO EIGHTEEN'S HEAD TO START! THIS MATCH IS ON!
Pamela: A smart move by David Flair, using the nWo World Title to get an early advantage! And now he's going to work away at the neck of the champion!
Kanyon: Why he's working the neck though is the big question though...his finisher depends on him working on the legs of the challenger. But now David getting Eighteen into a sitting position, ROLLING NECKBREAKER!
Pamela: Look how quick David is to take an advantage! Going for the cover right away!
.
.
ONE
.
.
TWO...kickout.
Kanyon: Eighteen getting her shoulders off the mat, but David is quick to work her into the ropes now...into the turnbuckle...THE HECK?
Pamela: David just did a neckbreaker on Eighteen over the top ropes! Climbing back onto the apron...and now...
Kanyon: David Flair with a Figure Four Neck-Lock on Eighteen! And he has it wrenched onto her tight!
Pamela: And there's no Disqualifications in this match! He can hold this on as long as he wants.
Kanyon: Wait a second, Eighteen getting her hands under David's back now...flipping him...dropping him face first back into the ring! And the Digimortal looks REALLY pissed off right now.
Pamela: How in the hell was she able to do that?
Kanyon: The powers of Eighteen are amazing. David getting back up to his feet now, Eighteen going for a kick to his head, David catches it...ENZIGURI to the back of David's head, and he falls down face first!
Pamela: Look at her, she's got a smile on her face, as if this is fun for her! And THIS is who the people want as the World Champion?
Kanyon: The people may get it! Cover by Eighteen now!
.
.
ONE
.
.
TWO
.
.
David BARELY getting a shoulder up in time!
Pamela: Hey, David's not going to back down. He would have done anything for that World Title, and he doesn't want to lose it so soon after he won it.
Kanyon: Eighteen getting David up, sends him HARD into the ropes! Eighteen charging for a spear, DAVID OUT OF THE WAY! SUNSET FLIP!
.
.
ONE
.
.
TWO!
.
.
Eighteen getting out of it!
Pamela: See, I TOLD you that David would be fighting to keep that title in his grasp!
Kanyon: A quick thinking move by David Flair was the only thing that saved him from getting all of the wind knocked out of him...but now Eighteen blasting the champion with a clothesline.
Pamela: FINALLY you remember that David IS the champion.
Kanyon: It may hurt to say, but he is that. But maybe not for long! Eighteen getting David up...and...DAYUM!
Pamela: EEP! I think Eighteen could have snapped David's neck with that move right there!
Kanyon: Like you said with David, I think that Eighteen will do anything to regain the World Championship...the cover now!
.
.
ONE
.
.
TWO!
.
.
THREE...NO!
Pamela: David Flair shooting the arm up JUST in time! I thought for sure that he was done with that one!
Kanyon: Eighteen seems like she wants to end it...it could be time for the Wreckoner!
Pamela: DAVID JABBING EIGHTEEN IN THE EYE! The quickest, easiest counter to ANY move in wrestling today!
Kanyon: Wait a second, David setting Eighteen up now...STUNNER!
Pamela: YES! That's what Eighteen and Austin BOTH have used to win World Titles in the past!
Kanyon: It looks like David might be retaining with that very move himself!...but he's not going for the cover now?
Pamela: Um...David...what are...OH YES! LOOK AT THAT...HAND TO THE EAR POSE!
Kanyon: David mocking all of his enemies now...off the ropes...and a legdrop off the ropes by David! Cover now...
.
.
ONE
.
.
TWO!
.
.
EIGHTEEN SHOVING DAVID OFF OF HER! OVER THE TOP ROPE TOO!
Pamela: OUCH! David landed chest and face first right onto the arena floor with that! How does Eighteen have so much left after all this?
Kanyon: Eighteen is literally a machine, and has near endless power supply! Eighteen now going outside of the ring, grabbing the prone form of the champion, and ramming his head HARD into one of the steel supporting poles of the cell!
Pamela: NO! David has been busted open with that one! This is not a good sign for the nWo World Champion!
Kanyon: Eighteen grabbing David by the throat now...pushing him back a bit...this could be...YES! VICE SLAM BY EIGHTEEN!
Pamela: What good will that do her? She has to get David back into the ring if she hopes to win the World Title back.
Kanyon: I don't think that she's concerned about that right now, I think she's more worried about punishing David for tricking her into a loss last time!
Pamela: That's a mistake if you ask me!
Kanyon: We're not. Eighteen rushing in at David now...DROP TOEHOLD! David smacks Eighteen's face right into the steel bar now!
Pamela: Unfortunately, I think that it did more damage to the cell than it did to Eighteen there!
Kanyon: You may be right about that, but this has given David the chance that he needs to re-mount an offensive! David going onto the ring apron now...and a bulldog off the apron!
Pamela: David is pulling out all the stops right now in this match! David going to the top rope now...
Kanyon: What's this...now he's mocking RVD? Off the top...Five Star...Eighteen up and catches the Champion!
Pamela: WHAT IN THE HELL? How in the hell can she do shit like this so easily?
Kanyon: Eighteen holding David up on her shoulder, what is she...OH NO!
Pamela: David Flair was thrown right through the cell door by Eighteen! How does she DO this?
Kanyon: I don't know, but Eighteen seems to be enjoying what she's doing. Eighteen stepping out of the cage now, and just flings David Flair up onto the top of the cell!
Pamela: Wait a minute, look at this! Bullwhip is making his return! And he's blasts a chair right on the head of Eighteen, leaving the biggest dent I've ever seen!
Kanyon: What is Bullwhip doing here though? I know that he's attacking Eighteen, but WHY is he attacking her?
Pamela: Well, he's not nWo judging by the outfit that he's wearing...maybe he just wants to stir up shit right now!
Kanyon: Bullwhip into the ring now with Eighteen...setting up another table...and ignites it! Sending Eighteen off the ropes, and drops her with a spinebuster right through the table!
Pamela: Look at the top of the cell! David reached into his tights...and is cutting it with some pliers or something! The top is off...and David drops a legdrop right onto Eighteen's throat from the top of the cell!
Kanyon: Now David getting up, still feeling the effects of everything that happens...and he shakes the hands of Bullwhip, who goes out of the ring now.
Pamela: David looks down on Eighteen...he just spat right on her! And now he's picking her up again...
Kanyon: ...he's not going to do it again is he? ...yes, he is.
Pamela: David's gonna make it twice in a row that he wins with a finisher of his opponent!
Kanyon: David Flair cockily going for a cover now...
.
.
ONE
.
.
TWO!
.
.
THREE!
*ding, ding*
Capetta: ...Here is your winner, and STILL nWo World Heavyweight Champion...David Flair.
Kanyon: And Capetta's tone of voice tells the story right there...David Flair has once again retained the EAW World Heavyweight Championship...
Pamela: And it's STILL the nWo World Heavyweight Championship! Look at this, Kelly Connelly-Flair coming out to celebrate with her husband...but she has a box with her...
Kanyon: David Flair calling for a mic now...I don't know what this is all about...but he seems to have something in mind...
David looks out to the entryway. "Bullwhip...before you go...come here. There's something I want to talk to you about."
Bullwhip stops in his tracks, and walks back into the ring, Kelly smiling to him and David. David grins. "For actions beyond the call of duty...Bullwhip, we're offering you membership in our elite group, the nWo!" he says, as Kelly opens a box with a brand new nWo T-shirt in it.
Pamela: AAAH...I see. Bullwhip was looking for acceptance by the nWo...and THAT'S why he got a close look for David's match!
Kanyon: Close look my ass...Bullwhip cost Eighteen her rematch against David Flair! Bullwhip now...he's accepting the shirt! Bullwhip has joined the nWo! And now they're going over...Eighteen is going to get painted again!
Pamela: The nWo has twice over conquered Eighteen! And the title still stays in the nWo Ca...
Kanyon: WAIT A MINUTE! LOOK AT THIS! HULK HOGAN COMING OUT WITH A STEEL CHAIR, AND GOING RIGHT AFTER BULLWHIP!
Pamela: Why are David and Kelly bailing out!?
Kanyon: I don't know, but Bullwhip isn't so lucky! Hogan getting revenge for what happened earlier tonight to Erica apparently! Going again!
Pamela: David and Kelly saving their nWo Compatriot! And now they're getting out of here while the getting is good!
Kanyon: Oh no they're not...here comes the Black Scorpion as well! He's joining in on the attack!
Pamela: Where are all these people coming from!?
Kanyon: I don't know, but the Scorpion just leveled David and Bullwhip...and Kelly getting them both out of there fast!
Kanyon: Well, Hogan may have gotten revenge, and the Black Scorpion may have fufilled his plan, but the fact of the matter is that Bullwhip is in the nWo, and David Flair is STILL the champion.
Pamela: That's a fact Chris! Hogan...he looks untrusting of the Scorpion. Could be the way he looks.
Kanyon: Could be...the Scorpion pointing the bat at Hogan now...Hogan blinks...now the Scorpion is leaving!
Pamela: Well, that was weird...Scorpion leaving through the crowd...but David and Bullwhip recovering now!
Kanyon: They won this, but they don't look like it. As Hogan checks up on the condition of Eighteen, we've run out of time. For Pamela Paulshock, I'm Chris Kanyon, G'night all!