THE PRE SHOW!
Introducing first... standing 6' 1" and weighing in at 260 pounds... he is the WWE Hardcore Champion--TOOOOMMY DREAMER!!
And his opponent... standing 6'7" and weighing in at 285 pounds... he is the EAW Extreme Champion--TEST!
* ding, ding *
Tommy has brought his Singapore cane while Test has brought an armload of stuff, including chairs, a fire extinguisher, a 2x4 and cheese grater.
Chair vs. cane dual to start, with Test getting the upper hand. He slams Dreamer onto it and chokes him with his own cane. Dreamer counters with elbows to the midsection, and a jawbreaker. He decks Test with the cane when he gets up, and nails him in the back of the knees. He tucks a 2x4 in his pant leg and does a springboard legdrop across the throat of Test, nearly getting a two. Whips him to the ropes, then puts the chair across his face. Sliding dropkick into the face of Test!! Dreamer goes up top, and attempts a splash, but Test gets up and crotches him on the ropes, and is able to gorilla press slam him off the top. Test goes up top and hits the flying elbow off the top on Dreamer, and then follows up by running him over with the fire extinguisher, busting him open. Dreamer manages to crotch him with the cane, but Test sprays him with the fire extinguisher. This allows Test to set up the chair, and set up and hit a FULL NELSON SLAM onto the chair, breaking it. Test lays the chair across Dreamer's chest, and goes up top for another elbow drop, but Dreamer grabs his leg. Test tries to shake him off, and whips him into the corner. He charges in with a clothesline, and then grabs the fire extinguisher.
Dreamer ducks the wild swing, and jabs at Test making him drop the fire extinguisher. Dreamer nails Test about the torso with the cane, and White Russian Leg Sweeps him for a long two. Pick up again... Irish Whip reversed, and Test hits the Pump Handle Slam on Dreamer. He drops the fire extinguisher on the chest of Dreamer, and uses the cheese grater to rake him across the face, drawing blood. He hits a modified neckbreaker, getting a two count, and goes for a fireman's carry version, but Dreamer lands behind, suplexing him from behind. Into the ropes, and Dreamer PILEDRIVES him onto the fire extinguisher!! Test barely kicks out.
After a belly to belly suplex attempt which Test blocks, he side-slams Dreamer, and sets him up for the big boot--Dreamer ducks, and counters by hitting a Dreamer Driver onto the steel chair. Cover... 1... 2... 3!!
Winner: Tommy Dreamer by Pinfall
Introducing first... from Silicon Valley, California: Representing EAW... he stands 5'10" and weighs in at 220 pounds. NOOOOOOVA!!
And his opponent, from San Diego, California: he stands 5'6" and weighs in at 165 pounds. REY MYSTERIO!!
*ding, ding*
The crowd is solidly behind Mysterio. Nova taunts Rey, asking for a Test of Strength. Nova begins to overpower him, but Rey DROPKICKS him into the chest! He hits the ropes and catches Nova in a running headscissors. Nova slides out to the outside, and Rey takes a running plancha over the top rope, knocking down Nova. He sends Nova towards the stairs, but Nova reverses sending him into them. Nova pulls up the padding, suplexing Rey onto it. He climbs the announce table, and leaps off with a LEGDROP across the back of the neck he turns into a fameasser in mid-move. He slams Rey onto the announce table. He leaps off for an elbow, but Rey rolls out of the way, and Nova eats the table. Rey rolls Nova back into the ring, and springs onto the apron. Springboard clothesline puts Nova down. Pick up, and Nova reverses a Tornado DDT attempt with a Northern Lights, and then follows that up with a Spin Doctor for 2. Rey kicks out, and when launched towards the corner he springs over the blind charge, and leaps up on Nova's back. A quick MYSTERIORANA on Nova!! Gets a two, but Nova escapes. Nova gets the upper hand, and sends Rey into the ropes--pancake--countered into the X-Factor by Rey! Nova kicks out at two. Rey arm drags Nova, and hits the tiger leg sweep, before hitting a spinning legdrop across the back of the neck. He sets up a reverse DDT, but Nova bridges up, reverses, and hits the DDT Squared!! Up top, and a Swanton!! Cover... long two--kickout.
Nova works the back a bit, but Rey counters an attempted side walk slam with an Enzui Giri. A staggered Nova flops onto the ropes, and Rey hits the 619!!
Out to the apron, and Rey follows up with the Springboard Hurracanrana (No, I will not use that Michael Cole name. =P), getting the 1, 2, 3!!
Winner by Pinfall: Rey Mysterio
And Now... .
An odd-looking juxtapositioning of the WWE logo and EAW logo crash together after an opening video detailing the story behind the match ups tonight.
Fireworks go off on the stage and blast off in the middle of a jam-packed Madison Square Garden, in New York City...
Signs in the crowd tonight:
"SIGN!" "SIGN!" "EVERYWHERE ARE SIGNS!" "I'M STILL KENNY ROGERS!" "I'm Benoit's Dentist!" "WE WANT THE NEXT BIG THING! P.S. We have not been paid off by Mr. Heyman." Some traditional WWE signs like Rock Brahma Bull signs, a classic "Austin 3:16" "American Bad@$$" "Eighteen 4:69 O_o" "Viva El Matador! *picture of Vega*" "Hokuto..is she... EEEEEVIL?!" "We Want Bret (heart)!" "I stole Kelly's panties" "Nidia: I have a pack of gum in my pants" "THE NEXT BIG THING IS IN MY PANTS!" "Vince screwed Vince!" "I wish I was blowing up... Prince Edward Island." "HURRIBREAK REGAL!" "(Un-)America(ns) suck!!" "Glenda = Bombshell" "Can I braid your tail, Fasha?" "*picture of the American Angels on an American flag*" "Molly's butt put mine in this seat" "Get well, Nash!*flips*/Kidding--Go to hell, Nash!" "I FOUND ME, JIM! I OWE ME $2.50!!" and of course... "EXCEL SAGA IS YUMMY!!!!"
Megan: Welcome everyone to Madison Square Garden! I'm Megan Eko, and with me is WWE SmackDown! color commentator Tazz!
Tazz: Yeah! And I gotta say sittin' next to a tomata like you sure as hell beats sitting next to Cole for an entire show.
Megan: Thanks... I think. Nine huge matches set to happen tonight, most of them with a decidedly EAW vs. WWE theme.
Tazz: So support all our usual sponsors... Snickers, Lugz, JVC, and so on.
Megan: Right. =P You'll be seeing WWE champions taking on their EAW counterparts all throughout tonight--as well as other matches--but first--the EAW and WWE Cruiserweight Champs collide!!
Jamie Noble's music cues up. He, Nidia, and Tajiri start down the ramp. He's grinning and rubbing his belt in between groping Nidia who's hanging onto both of them.
Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one-fall between The Respective companies Cruiserweight Champions. Making his way to the ring, from West Virginia, being accompanied by Nidia and Tajiri. The WWE Cruiserweight Champion... Jamie Noble!
Megan: We're here for a great match now. Some Cruiserweight action featuring a pair that are considered two of the best in their field.
Tazz: Comin' out now is Jamie Noble. Dis boy is right there on my show an' he proves every night that he is da best. He competes against some o' da best cruisers in da biz. All o' dem can only be seen on Smackdown.
Megan: He's got Nidia and Tajiri with him, which makes you wonder if he'll be getting some help.
Tazz: Well, I'll admit, he's got nuttin' against gettin' a little help, whether it's from dat Japanese Buzzsaw, or dat tomato, Nidia.
Suddenly, the Entrance explodes in pyro and Glenda steps out as PM5K's "Bombshell" cues. She makes her way down to the ring, an intent stare at Noble.
Capetta: And his opponent, from Memphis TN, weighing in at 220 lbs, the EAW Cruiserweight Champion... Glenda "The Unibomb" Jacobs!
Tazz: Now, I gotta admit I'm damned impressed wit The Unibomb. She's got dat old school, no nonsense way about 'er. She's like a hot lookin' Ken Shamrock.
Megan: She really does show a new side to Cruiserweight competition. In a world dominated by high-fliers, she brings the game down to the mat, which often brings the majority of cruiserweights into unfamiliar territory.
Tazz: She's staring down Noble now. A few warning glances at Nidia and Tajiri who are slowly getting out...
The two circle each other, testingly before going into a tie-up. Glenda wins the battle of strength going into a vertical suplex. Noble shows agility as he lands and rolls righ tot his feet, rushing in with a forearm which takes GLenda to her back. She grabs his legs and pulls him down, now in a leglock.
It goes back and forth like this for a good while. Both show impressive mat skills. At one point, however, Noble manages a dropkick which sends her dieseling out over the top. He follows up with a no hands plancha off the top rope onto her. As Nobles getting up, recovering from that, Glenda also is slowly getting up and eats a Kick from Tajiri.
As the ref leans over, admonishing Tajiri as Noble tosses Glenda back in.
He goes for a cover and only gets a 2 count. He pulls her up and gives her a DDT and begins to stomp him.
He continues to punish her. Soon she's down and he climbs the ropes. He raises his arms to the crowd and flies off with a beautiful Moonsault, but with a painful landing as she's just rolled out of the way. He lands in pain and she's slowly getting to her feet. They're both up and She grabs him from behind and lifts him up for the G-Bomb. But he wiggles and slips down, grabbing her in a reverse DDT hold. But before he can do anything, she jumps, actually propelling himself over and behind him, like a self-done Sniper. As soon as she lands behind him, she grabs his arms and wrestles him to the ground. She grabs his arms like a Cobra Clutch, and digs a knee in the small of his back in her Cobra-Camel Clutch variant, the Buffalo Wing. He screams out in pain.
Tajiri jumps in the ring behind her and sets up, spinning round with his Finishing Kick. But she lets go at the last minute, ducking, so that Tajiri's kick knocks Noble dead in the side of the head, sending him down. Tajiri's eye sgo wide and is distracted as Glenda hopes up and grabs him in a Tombstone Piledriver.
Nidia is in now and pulls Glenda back by the hair. Glenda eyes go wide, not really in surprise, but as if to say "What the Hell?" She slowly turns and Nidia balks at her glare. Nidia goes to slap Glenda but Glenda catches her arm and lifts her up in a G-Bomb.
Glenda finally walks over to Noble, still out from Tajiri's kick and puts a foot on his chest, covering him. He kicks out... unfortunately after the 3 count.
Winner: Glenda "The Unibomb" Jacobs
Tazz: Damn! What a match!
Megan: That's what you get here in the EAW, though Noble was putting up a great fight too until his cronies got involved.
Tazz: Well dat just shows that cheatin' nevah pays.
Megan: Stay tuned, after this, we're gonna show a street fight from earlier! Stay tuned!
***WWE SHOPZONE! SHOPPING WITH ATTITUDE!***
[Ready in 5... 4... 3... ]
... blood... sweat... tears...
Just another day at work for us.
Megan: And... well, this one isn't exactly something we planned on having happen, and this match is in NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM sanctioned by the EAW...
Tazz: But you're still gonna make a killing offa it. Hell, so are we! People like to see people beat the hell outta people! Ain't I right?
Megan: Sad, but true. This rivalry runs deeply between the two... only fitting that it takes place in a straight-up streetfight--
Tazz: Ringfight.
Megan: Streetfight.
Tazz: But it ain't happening' in the street, Megs. It's in th' ring. So it's a ringfight. *Think* on that for a moment.
Megan: No, my head already hurts as is.
Tazz: Bah, you're no fun.
"Bailamos" starts... as does the booing, Vega proudly striding down to ringside with the Twin Dolls and the unusually large Japanese redhead known as Iori Yagami. If anything, Iori looks... bored, hands in pockets and expression bland. Juli and Juni... well, they're just there. Vega himself bows to the crowd, ignoring the massive heel heat he's getting, and takes his spot, slding mask and claw into place.
Megan: This one's so unsanctioned that we're not even getting ring announcements. They're just going to come out and beat the hell out of each other the old-fashioned way.
Tazz: Mmmm, like somethin' outta Gladiator. Hell, all we need now are some lions a whole helluva lotta neat-ass special effects!
Megan: ... oy.
"Bailamos" gives way to "Apathy", and Hokuto proceeds down to ringside with Zaki and Akira with her... but with Kairi notably absent. She takes a few steps.. then turns. Naturally, Godsmack's "Awake" fires up and Kairi shows, looks to be both in top form and extremely pissed. He joins his sister, gives her a nod, and the group proper approaches the other side of the ring.
Tazz: And he FINALLY shows! Huh! Better late than nevah, I guess! Wonder where he's been. I bet he's still pissed over gettin' punked by Lesnar!
Megan: Possibly. If anything, it seems that Kairi's started to adopt some of the old manners of his teacher. Still... there's a much uglier problem in the ring right now, and his name's Vega. Hokuto... in the ring and looking primed. Vega... well, he looks like Vega.
Tazz: You mean psychopathic?
Megan: Vega makes your average psycho look like a puppy in a display window... and there's the bell! The ref is... outside of the ring! And here we go!
Tazz: BLOODMATCH!
Megan: Vega and Hokuto circling... and Vega takes the frst strike, missing with a clawstrike... he's trying to get her early, it seems! Hokuto's moving a bit too fast to end up shishkabobbed, though... and Hokuto returns the kick solidly to Vega's side!
Tazz: You know that didn't hurt him much, Megs.
Megan: Well, no... but it's still first blood, and Vega doesn't seem *too* pleased to have given it up... and here we go! Vega in with another strike--deflected by Hokuto, who counters---deflected by Vega and--OW! Clawrake to the back! Hokuto hissing in pain... but kicks Vega in the kneecap, sending him sprawling back! Vega back in his corner and looking between his cornermates... he nods to Juli, and she hops in with Vega! She's got thirty seconds to make things horrible for Hokuto... both of them cornering Hokuto... she evades Vega's backhand but walks RIGHT into a kneeshot from the Doll, and the beatdown commences! Vega working at Hokuto's face with the flat of his claw... but Juli's back and----YOW! That was some kinda... drill kick... thingie... and it his Hokuto DEAD in the gut! Vega cackling and grasping Hokuto by her face... and just tossing her to the side!
Tazz: And looks like he's got the first knock down... but only for three. That Hokuto girl's got soms fire in 'er...
Megan: Among other things... Hokuto up and Juli moving into--AT an elbow to the mouth! And she's on her back, spitting out teeth! Vega looking extremely upset--but he should be looking behind him! ZAKI ENTERS THE FIGHT---CHAIN WRAPPED AROUND Vega's throat... and she just TOSSES him into the corner! Juli is rolling out of the ring, clutching her mouth... she's done for the day! Zaki isn't, however, and Hokuto's just letting her have a field day on the stunned Vega!
Tazz: Meheheheh... ever see someone get beaten with a chain like that?!
Megan: Never before, but... damn! Another shot... ANOTHER! And ano--Vega grabs the chain--SLASH TO THE ARM! Zaki reeling and Hokuto coming in to assist---and Vega ROLLS past them both! Roundhouse to the BOTH of them! And... Zaki's time is up and the bullhorn sounds!
Tazz: So no ring announcer, but a bullhorn.
Megan: And a ref, seeing that Hokuto's down *again*... but only stays there for three again! Vega doesn't look too pleased, and grabs Hokuto by her hair... and takes his mask off to spit in her face! He grabs Hokuto----HUGE GERMAN SUPLEX right on her head! But he's not letting g---ANOTHER! And now he leaves her there for the count to begin--- and Kairi decides to join the party! He's in, and Vega's standing his ground... Hokuto slow to get up... . but up at six! And Kairi's just... marching towards Vega! Vega's not action... and now they're face-to face! Both of them having words and... Vega punches Kairi dead in the face! Kairi falters and turns... and WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
Tazz: Right outta Street Fighter baby! DRAGON PUNCH, and one helluva numbah, too! Kairi lands... and grabs Vega again---IORI CHARGES KAIRI! And... yow! They go flying THROUGH THE CAGE and out of the ring... and it's on outside of the battle! While this wasn't exactly what I'm sure Vega wanted, it's bought him some time to recover... Hokuto's not quite back with us ye---VEGA with a running Scarlet Terror to the dazed Lyger!
Megan: Purple flames everywhere... and Kairi and Iori are tearing into each other! Iori's slashing up Kairi with his *bare fingers* but seems to be getting it as good as he's giving! Kairi knocks Iori into the stands and pounces... while Hokuto's down in the ring... but only for seve---VEGA KICKS HER IN THE HEAD as she gets up, and she's back down... and I do believe this match is going to go haywire, because here come the last cornermates, Akira and Juni! Both clash... and Vega simply kicks BOTH of them out of the way towards Hokuto... his claw draws back and----YEOW! PUNCH TO THE SPANISH FLY!
Tazz: Now I'm sure he can yodel with the finest of 'em! Eheheheheh!
Megan: Hokuto getting her wind back and SMASHES Vega in the chest with a shotei... and another! And a chuugeki-hou to finish! Vega on the ropes while Hokuto breaks out her fans and strikes a pose... Vega with a counter-attack---CAUGHT! And Hokuto tosses Vega over her shoulder and winds back----CLAW RAKE TO THE FACE! And Hokuto's starting to bleed under her hands as she withdraws! Vega rolling to his feet and stalking Hokuto... hey... hey, look! Cassandra's at ringside and *NEARLY* gets bowled over by Akira as she kicks Juni out of the ring and pursues! The girl's crazy... but she's cheering Vega on!
Tazz: Well, that fine piece of ass knows who's on top of things, so there you go.
Megan: And Cassandra's now---what in the---she's in and A HUGE KICK TO VEGA'S FACE, shattering his mask! And now... well, shit, *he's* bleeding from the face, and he looks down right incensed! Vega turning away from Hokuto and grabbing Cassandra by the hair... but Hokuto's raising her hands in his direction---
Tazz: I've seen this before! Here is cooooomes!
Megan: It's the Kirin-Eki! And it's---VEGA PULLS CASSANDRA INTO THE WAY AND *SHE* DUCKS! RIGHT IN THE KISSER! Vega drops like a bad habit, and the count goes! Kairi and Iori... hell, the backstage crew says they're still trying to kill each other! And it looks like Juli and Juni are withdrawing... Akira and Zaki look hurt but----a bullhorn?
Tazz: The ref counted Vega out, y'know.
Megan: ... he DID?
Tazz: Yeah. You were too busy yammering on to notice.
Megan: ... . right! And it looks like Hokuto's come out on top!
Tazz: But... well, mister Vanity's getting up... and *OH*, does he look cheesed! Vega howling in anger and stalking towards Cassandra... but someone charges over the railing and NAILS Vega right in the mush! He's gone... and she's asian! Lookit those legs! Yeow!
Megan: And she and Cassandra are... . HANDCUFFING VEGA?! If I didn't know better... they're dragging him on out, leaving Zaki, Akira and Hokuto to watch! I've got no clue what's going on here... you, Tazz?
Tazz: Yeah! Someone's gonna take a ride downtown!
... you see these scars...
Where I come from, they're called medals of honor.
We get the prerequisite "During the Break" sidebar image as Ayane Mitsui shows up backstage... and finds a police paddywagon parked there... with Luisa already seen handcuffed inside! As the Asian woman throws Vega in Ayane catches up with Cassandra.
Ayane: Cassandra King, what's... what's going on?! Aren't you a part of Vega's Harem?!
Cassandra: I was... but that was only a front... " Cassandra says. "I really work for Interpol. Me and my partner Chun Li over there? We've been on a covert mission to implicate Vega on some serious charges... assassinations, murders... I got to learn all there needs to know for Vega to be put away for a long time.
Cassandra smiles, then turns around.
Cassandra: Okay, lock 'er up!!
As the doors lock, Luisa snarls at Cassandra. "YOU TRAITOR!! Vega will be free soon! Just you wait!!!"
Cassandra waves dismissively, then goes to Chun Li, high-fiving her. "All right! Let's party!"
"I'm with you!"
Chun Li smiles as she and Cassandra make their leave...
Tazz:... huh, they were two hot tomatoes, to say the least.
Megan: Tazz..
Tazz: Heh, sorry.
Megan: Well, we go from that brutal one-on-one unsanctioned between those two to this next brutal match.
Tazz: Hatred and aggression will be personified... especially considering who two of the four combatants are...
Megan: It's time for the double Tag Team Champions match.
The Un-American's theme starts to play over the speakers, and an AMAZING amount of boos start to come from the crowd as the 3 hated fighters come out.
Capetta: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a 40-minute time limit. Making their way to the ring, being accompanied by Test, from Canada, at a total combined weight of 455 pounds, they are the WWE Tag Team Champions, Lance Storm and Christian... the UN-AMERICANS!
Tazz: And the crowd here showing their displeasure with these 3, and let me say for the record, I'm GLAD they're on Raw rather than Smackdown, so I don't have to deal with them every week.
Megan: These guys have SUCH a problem with America that they have staged a 3 man war against it. I know America has it's problems, but that's no reason to despise it as they do.
Tazz: But that's not stopping the fans from showing how much these New York fans despise 3 Un-Americans.
Megan: And especially to Test, who is carrying that upside-down American flag with him. Storm and Christian in the ring now... and Storm with a mic...
Before Lance can say anything though, the sounds of Creed's "Freedom Fighter" cues up.
Tazz: Hey, for once, EAW did something good!
Out from the entryway comes the brother-sister duo... wearing matching ring attire... Kirk with medals around his neck, Erica with her face painted like an American flag, and both carrying right-side up American flags.
Capetta: Aaaand their opponents... from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, at a total combined weight of 330 pounds... They are the EAW World Tag Team Champions... Kirk and Erica... THE AMERICAAAAN ANGELS!
Megan: And this is the kind of team that people here can get behind here. Listen to the impressive reaction for Kirk and Erica Angel.
Tazz: And for once in a match, I have to go with the EAW team. I am severely hoping that the Angels take out these Un-Americans and shut them up for good.
Megan: The Angels up on the ring apron now, waving those flags high... Kirk now handing his to his sister... and passes out his gold medals to some lucky kids.
Tazz: A show of class by the Olympic Hero, something that the Un-Americans wouldn't show.
Megan: Kirk getting into the ring now, and the Un-Americans going to attack right away!
Tazz: But the Angels fighting back, and the bell has rung!
Megan: The Un-Americans' pre-match attack didn't work out the way they wanted, as the Angels are fighting back. Double Irish-whip... and double dropkick by the brother and sister team.
Tazz: The Un-Americans rolling to the outside now, totally caught off guard by this attack... and Test trying to form a game-plan with his partners now.
Megan: Look in the ring though... Kirk Angel down on all fours, and Erica using her brother's back to vault at her opponents on the outside. The Un-Americans totally caught off guard by that as well.
Tazz: Not a good time to be an Un-American, to be sure, and Erica taking Storm into the ring now, and we finally have just two wrestlers in the ring.
Megan: Erica waiting for Storm to get up to his feet now, and sliding down with a toe-hold. Storm landing flat on his face with that, Erica adjusting her position... spreading Storm's legs... and a double-leg-drop right to the crotch.
Tazz: I've been in many matches through my career, and let me just say that is one damn-painful move right there. Storm rolling to his corner, and Christian now tagged in.
Megan: Erica back up to her feet, and she seems to be waiting for Christian to get into the ring.
Tazz: Christian seems reluctant though, and I don't think that either Un-American expected this type of attack from this girl.
Megan: Christian slowly getting into the ring, not wanting to take any chances with Erica... who rushes in and suplexes him into the ring... rolling over with an early cover.
One
.
.
TWO... kickout.
Tazz: Christian is a former European champion, and he's not about to get a loss this early in the match. Erica getting up to her feet now, and Christian punching her in the stomach right away.
Megan: Christian getting up to his feet now, and scoops Erica up with a backbreaker. Erica holding her back in pain... Christian now stepping on Erica's back... but she pulls away before he can take an advantage... and tags in her brother.
Tazz: This would not be a good time for Christian to stay in the ring. If Kirk Angel is anything like Kurt Angle, he is seriously out-classed in this match.
Megan: Is that judging skills or Smackdown bias?
Tazz: A little of both.
Megan: Thought so. Kirk in the ring now, and Christian taking him too lightly apparently. Rushing in for a clothesline, Angel ducks though, goes behind... and a bridging German Suplex early on!
One
.
.
TWO
.
.
Christian barely kicking out.
Tazz: This is not the way the WWE Tag Title holders wanted this match to go, that's for sure. The American Angels are fully in control of this match right now.
Megan: Kirk sending Christian hard into his corner, and makes the tag to Erica... set up... .what's this?
Tazz: Kirk with a slingshot catapult onto his sister, who spears Christian into the corner. I heard they call that move the Patriot Missile!
Megan: The Patriot Missile apparently a very effective move right there... and Erica grabbing Christian with a hard DDT. Cover... but Test right there to pull Erica out of the ring... and nails Erica with an elbow.
Tazz: Test showing right there why the Un-Americans have been so successful as a team: they have no regard for the rules.
Megan: Christian tagging in Storm now as Test tosses Erica back into the ring, and the young superstar from Pittsburgh in pain right now. Storm getting into the ring now... and goes right to work on the leg of Erica.
Tazz: Storm with a smart move right there, trying to ground Erica so she can't use the majority of her arsenal in this match.
Megan: Plus the fact that Storm's finishing move is based on how weak Erica's legs are. Storm putting Erica into a reverse toe-hold now, wrenching away on her leg.
Tazz: I've been in one of these holds before, and let me say how this feels: It feels like you have knives going all through your leg. Very painful.
Megan: And Erica is feeling that first hand. She's trying to get to the ropes now... but look at Christian kicking Erica right in the head before she reaches it. Storm now tagging in Christian, who kicks at Erica's leg as he enters.
Tazz: Christian changing the tactics on Erica now, getting her up to her feet now... and dropping him across his knee with that pendulum backbreaker.
Megan: Erica's two supporting points in this match are being taken out really badly, and she needs to make a tag to her brother before things get worse for her.
Tazz: And that's exactly what she's trying to do, but Christian cutting her off at the pass... picking her up with a falling reverse DDT.
Megan: Christian going over to his corner, and tags in Storm again... who goes over the top rope with a legdrop onto the throat of Erica. For the cover now...
One
.
.
TWO
.
.
Kirk Angel with a save!
Tazz: That saved the Angels, but it also may have cost them, as the referee is distracted by Angel, and Storm and Christian going for a double team on Erica.
Megan: Kirk Angel on the apron again, and the referee sees the double team, and Christian going out of the ring now.
Tazz: But the damage has already been done to Erica, and she's in worse shape than she was before that little exchange.
Megan: Storm getting closer to Erica now, but Erica with a burst of speed... and she tags in Kirk Angel! And Angel exploding into the ring and blasting Storm with a clothesline!
Tazz: Christian trying to stop Angel now, but the Olympian manages to catch him off guard with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex!
Megan: Kirk Angel is showing he was just waiting for this moment. Storm back up on his feet now, and tossing him into the corner... and hard knife-edge chops by Kirk Angel in the corner.
Tazz: Christian going for a Pearl Harbor on Kirk, but Erica there to intercept the young Canadian.
Megan: This match has quickly degenerated into a four way brawl, and the referee trying to regain some semblance of order... and finally does... Christian and Erica out of the ring now continuing their brawl now.
Tazz: Test getting ready to punk out Erica with that big boot of his now, Erica ducks it though, and Christian nailed hard!
Megan: That miscalculation could have hurt the Un-Americans greatly right there, as Erica getting back up on the apron. Storm is having his own troubles in the ring right now, sent to another corner now by Kirk Angel, who rushes in now...
Tazz: But Storm avoids harm, using the referee to take his place. The ref has been flattened by that move, and is out cold.
Megan: This is when the Un-Americans are their most dangerous, when the referee is down. Kirk checking up on the referee now... and Christian starting to stir on the outside of the ring, with some help by Test.
Tazz: Storm attacking Angel from behind now, trying to take advantage of this distraction. Sending Kirk off the ropes... and blasts him with a superkick on the way back.
Megan: Storm going for the cover, but his own idea cost him right there. The referee is out cold... and Storm now calling his partners into the ring.
Tazz: Triple Team terror apparently... but Erica catching Christian with the Hammer of Justice before he can get fully up to his feet!
Megan: But that still leaves a two-on-one advantage for the Un-Americans. Storm getting one of the WWE Tag Titles from the outside... but Test stopping him.
Tazz: I think I know what this is about, Test is giving Storm a sign that he wants to finish off Kirk Angel with his boot.
Megan: Storm actually smiling about this idea... and he lets Test. Angel starting to get up to his feet right now, and Test... CLOTHESLINES LANCE STORM!?
Tazz: WOAH! Did Test just... what the hell?
Megan: LOOK AT THIS! Test tearing off that Un-American shirt... that's the EAW Extreme Title belt. This Test was the EAW Test all along!
Tazz: A sneaky ruse by the EAW Test, but one that I actually like. Both Storm and Christian are down... and Erica back in the ring...
Megan: Kirk signaling for his sister to come back in the ring, and Test is holding Christian back on the outside of the ring. Here comes the Star Spangled Smasher!
Tazz: That is one devestating move right there by the Angels... Kirk not going for the cover though, what is this about?
Megan: I think that they are going to try another of their finishers... diagonal corners now... DOUBLE MOONSAULTS!
Tazz: DAAAMN! I don't know what that is called, but it's effective!
Megan: Erica reviving the referee now... the cover...
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TWO
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THREE!
Capetta: Here are your winners, the EAW Tag Team Champions, Kirk and Erica... the American Angels!
Tazz: And that may be a win for the EAW in this match, but much more importantly, a win for the United States of America.
Megan: Kirk getting the two American Flags from ringside now, and handing one to his sister. They're gonna wave those banners high for all to see.
Tazz: And THAT'S the way it SHOULD be raised... no distress there, just proud American beliefs!
Megan: Folks... after this, we'll be back with another great match. Stay tuned!
**Ad Break**
Superstar by Saliva cues up as we come back from a few small promo snippets, and David Flair is booed immensely just by the sound of his music.
Cappetta: The following match... scheduled for one fall, will have a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, representing EAW... accompanied by Kelly--he stands 6'2 and weighs in at 210 pounds. From Minneapolis, Minnesota... the EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion, “The Legend Killer Daaaaaaavid Flair!
Megan: Welcome back to Holy Wars, fans... I'm Megan Eko with WWE's Tazz, here to call the action for this next match, and David definitely getting the brunt of the audience's hatred...
Tazz: Yeah... wonder how Benoit will get treated...
Megan: Well, Benoit is a favorite among EAW fans, that I know of, and we have a mixed crowd here. Could be VERY interesting...
As David enters the ring, “Whatever by Our Lady Peace cues up... to a large pop from the crowd. Somewhat mixed, but loud nonetheless. A vocal section of the eastern portion of the crowd chants "Here comes Chris Benoit, and he's really mad... here comes Chris Benoit and he's really an-gryyyyy!"
Cappetta: And his opponent, representing WWE: from Edmonton, Alberta... he stands 5’10 and weighs in at 235 pounds. He is the WWE Intercontinental Champion... Chris Benoit!!
Megan: The reigning Intercontinental Champion, who is going to face RVD tomorrow at Summerslam, first has an opportunity a NUMBER of EAW stars wish they had--a match with David Flair.
Tazz: Well, David Flair has racked up an impressive number of enemies, but he knows his way around the ring. He's got wrestling in his blood for cryin’ out loud!
Megan: Which won't do him a bit of good if Benoit spills it all over the mat. Benoit getting inside the ring... referee Charles Robinson trying to keep them apart before the contest begins--
*ding, ding*
Megan: Benoit going after Flair immediately with chops to the chest... fires him into the ropes, caught, and BOOSTED high into the air--Flair crashing to the mat!
Tazz: Pick up by Benoit--set up, and a side backbreaker!! Into the cover--quick one count only!
Megan: Benoit all business, and setting him up in the corner... chops; WAIT--Flair reversing--knife edged chops of his own!
Tazz: Flair with knees into the midsection, and stepping back--RUNNING SPLASH into the corner!! Benoit dazed... and a TAKEDOWN by the leg from behind!! Elbow drop to the knee by Flair... another! Yanking up Benoit by the leg--and the Dragon Screw!
Megan: David taunting Benoit... Benoit up--David with the KNEEBREAKER! Hook of the leg...
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ONE!--and the kick out. Pick up by the hair--BENOIT with shots to the midsection! Knee into the throat by David, and putting him in the side headlock. Set up for the DDT--BLOCKED by Benoit! Hoisting up David--CROTCHES him on the top rope. Hooks him by the back of the head, and a HANGMAN'S neckbreaker variation!
Tazz: Benoit stomping the shoulder--and a SNOT ROCKET!! SNOT ROCKET!!
Megan: Benoit blowing snot all over David! Disgusting, but considering the victim, the fans love it! Picking up David, and a SNAP SUPLEX by Benoit!! Floatover by Benoit...
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ONE!
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... kickout!
Tazz: Benoit pounding on the neck and shoulder region on Flair, and now--THROWS HIM SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!!
Megan: Benoit will attack any injury to his opponent to help him get the win--if his opponent doesn't have one, he'll MAKE one. And weakening the shoulder and neck makes it a good target for the Crossface. Benoit sends Flair against the ropes, back body--David from behind--LOW BLOW, and a roll up--
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ONE!
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Tw--NO! David sneaking in that low blow on Benoit, and now wrenching at the right leg, weakening the knee. Lays it across the ropes--driving all his body weight across the leg... and now a LEGDROP across the knee. David pulling him up, chops across the chest, and slings him towards the ropes--rolls through with the Canadian Mapleleaf! Borrowing a page out of Lance Storm's playbook, and wrenching back on the knee. Now modifying the hold..Indian Deadlock variation. Benoit wincing as he tries to break free. David picking up Benoit... double underhook--into a suplex. To the ropes now--LIONSAULT by Flair!!
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ONE!
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TWO
and the Kickout!
Tazz: David picking up Benoit--going for the lifting DDT--NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX by BENOIT!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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..KICKOUT!
Megan: Benoit striking back in a big way, and David dazed--elbow shots by Benoit... more chops across the bare chest of David... to the ropes, and a TILT A WHIRL into a SIDE SLAM!! Benoit with rabbit punches... shots to the upper back and shoulders as David tries to cover up--EYE POKE by David--and a CHEAP SHOT to the chin!! David rolling on top, right hands by David!!
Tazz: Benoit fighting up, but David applying a sleeperhold! Benoit down to one knee... fighting to escape--knee driven into the back of Benoit... Benoit trying to escape--standing up--SNAPMARES DAVID!!
Megan: Benoit going to stop--David catches the boot--rolls through into a leglock! Beautiful counter there... and Benoit--TO THE ROPES!!
Megan: David springing to the top rope--the GUILLOTINE LEG DROP on Benoit... cover.
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ONE!
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TWO!
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... KICKOUT!
Tazz: Close there, and David looking downright pissed...
Megan: David picking up Benoit, suplex set up... suspending Benoit high in the a--BENOIT LANDS BEHIND--GERMAN SUPLEX... INTO A SECOND ONE... INTO A BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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--Kelly pulls David's hand onto the bottom rope!
Tazz: Benoit told to break up the suplex, jawin’ with the ref--David up--OOOH! Stinging chop across the chest!!
Megan: Wrench of the arm, and the over the shoulder armbreaker... slings David into the corner, and setting him up to the top... Benoit getting up... DAVID ABOUT TO GO FOR A RIDE--AND THE SUPERBOMB by BENOIT!!
Tazz: UH OH--thumb across the throat, and this could be it for Flair!! Climbing back up to the top--SWANDI--MISSES!! Kelly yanking David Flair's foot and pulling him outta harm's way!!
Megan: David shaking the cobwebs out... crawling over, and David applying the Crippler Crossface!!
Tazz: Benoit screaming in pain, and from the looks of things David has studied the Crossface well...
Megan: David with his back to the ropes... Benoit has a long way to go to the other sets of ropes. David lacks the Crippler's upper body strength, but this hold still taking its toll, and applied as an insult to Benoit. The fans are completely behind Benoit... Benoit crawling backward... David trying to keep him in place and to keep the hold on... closer... closer... GETS THE FOOT ON THE ROPE!!--KELLY KNOCKS IT OFF!!
Tazz: Quick thinking there... and Benoit in trouble--hooks it again.
Megan: Kelly pulling--THE HEEL OF THE BOOT to the side of Kelly's head!! And the referee calls for the break!!
Tazz: David lets go, but drags him away from the ropes--Benoit fighting up. Picks up David--BACKDROP to center of the ring!! Off the ropes--CLOTHESLINE by Benoit!! David dazed, and getting up--ARMBAR TAKEDOWN!! INTO THE CROSSFACE!!
Megan: BENOIT APPLYING THE CRIPPLER CROSSFACE NOW, as only HE can!! David screaming as Benoit yanks back on it... trying to reach the ropes, but Benoit has him stuck there in the center of the ring... Kelly coming in--NAILS BENOIT in the back of the head with the Triple Crown Title!!
*ding, ding*
Tazz: David rolling out under the bottom rope, and Kelly following... the wolverine coming to, but the Flairs hauling ass to get away!!
Megan: David escapes having to tap to the Crippler Crossface, but we all know Benoit had it...
Cappetta: The winner of this match, by disqualification... CHRIS BENOIT!!
Megan: David owes much of his luck in this match to Kelly, but Benoit will go down as the winner... Folks, stay tuned. We'll be right back!
EAW SHOPZONE! BECAUSE YOU WANT... WELL... STUFF!
Megan: Welcome back to Holy Wars. Up next, a match requested by two WWE Superstars.
Tazz: Christopher Nowinski and WWE's Molly Holly requested this match so they could get revenge for their losses against Mighty Molly.
Megan: The difference now is that Mighty Molly has The Hurricane as her partner. And Mighty Molly accepted this match in hope of showing WWE Molly what Nowinski truly is.
Tazz: But hey, at least Nowinski has an eye for beauty, you have to give him that much.
Just then, the Harvard Fight song cues up, with boos closely behind it.
Capetta: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a 40-minute time limit. Making their way to the ring, being accompanied by William Regal, Christopher Nowinski and the WWE Women's Champion Molly Holly!
Megan: Wait just a second, what is Regal doing coming out with this team?
Tazz: I'm not sure, but I'm guessing he's here to support the team of Nowinski and Molly.
Megan: Knowing Regal though, he's also probably there to try to insure that this team gets a victory.
Tazz: Probably... knowing Raw superstars.
STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!
HOLY SIDEKICKS HURRICANE, IT'S MIGHTY MOLLY!
"Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins cues up, and from the entryway, to an impressive amount of cheers, comes the two superheroes.
Capetta: And their opponents, The Hurricane and Mighty Molly!
Megan: Hurricane and Molly looking determined to make the best of this match here, despite what Nova said about Hurricane.
Tazz: There's definitely some lingering anger brewing there as far as Nova is concerned. But for Hurricane, it's all about this match.
Megan: Hurricane and Mighty Molly in the ring now, and the match is starting up!
The match starts out slow enough, almost like a basic wrestling match as Hurricane and Christopher Nowinski were in the ring alone together. For the longest time, the match progresses in a regular wrestling match manner, constant tags between the two teams, and Regal doesn't get involved. That all changes when Mighty Molly and Nowinski are in the ring alone... as he starts to fondle Molly's body like he did in their previous one-on-one match. Hurricane is about to step in and stop this, but Regal grabs his ankles and pulls him off the ring apron. The next few minutes of the match consist of Nowinski and Molly double-teaming Mighty Molly, and William Regal keeping the referee and Hurricane distracted as Molly and Nowinski double-team Mighty Molly. After a while, a break occurs for Mighty Molly when she manages to get a body shot in on her counterpart, and then suplexes her down to the mat. Mighty Molly manages to tag in the Hurricane, who fights like a house of fire once he gets into the ring. He manages to pummel away at both Nowinski and Molly, getting a major advantage in the match. Regal tries to distract the referee, but Mighty Molly manages to kick him away. Hurricane goes to the top rope to attempt an Overcast, but Regal manages to trip up Hurricane. Before he can do any more, Nova comes to ringside to battle Regal, keeping him at bay. Hurricane tosses WWE Molly out of the ring, then tags in Mighty Molly, who goes to the top rope, and the two Super-Heroes give Nowinski the Super Power Device. Mighty Molly stays on for the cover, getting the victory. At the same time, WWE's Molly Holly catches Hurricane off guard, catching him with her own Molly-Go Round. Before she can gloats too much, Mighty Molly catches Molly off guard, giving her the Valentine Neckbreaker. On the outside of the ring, Regal uses his brass knuckles to knock out Nova... and is about to do the same to Molly, but Hurricane intercepts, giving Regal the Hurribreaker right in the center of the ring.
Tazz: Woah... now that was a strange and mixed up ending there.
Megan: Nova just starting to stir now... and he doesn't look too pleased with this outcome at all. Folks, when we get back, Undertaker and Fasha will go at it. Stay tuned, the Holy Wars continue!
Tazz: Yeah! WWE Unforgiven! It's gonna be off the hook, Megan! Just like tonight's been so far!
Megan: I agree with you there, Tazz! Holy Wars seems to have been a rousing success! And it's about to get even better...
BOOM!
HERE COMES THE BOOM!
READY OR NOT, HAHA, HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW!!
"Boom" cues up and Fasha steps out onto the stage, the fans cheering loudly for the young Saiyan warrior. She smiles brightly, then heads to the ring. Megan: Here comes the EAW's own Fasha! A rookie still, she's got a lot of promise to show, Tazz!
Tazz: No doubt! I've seen this girl train and she's somethin' else! Nonstop training regiment with Fasha here... Undertaker's gonna have a huge challenge here!
Fasha rolls into the ring, then turns to the stage, waiting as "Boom" fades out...
*BOOOONNNNNGGG!!*
... DEAD MAN WALKIN'...
Undertaker's Theme cues up, and the Undertaker shows up on the stage on his motorcycle, looking to the crowd as they cheer even louder for him than they did for Fasha! He nods in approval, then rides his bike down the aisle towards the ring, encircling it before parking it off to the side, dismounting it and staring up at Fasha, who adjusts her gloves, staring back down at the Undertaker.
Megan: There's a a kind of... electricity, pardon the expression... this looks like it's going to be one tremendous match here tonight!
Tazz: It's gonna be awesome! The way Fasha's been trainin', the way Taker is... man, this is gonna rock!
The Undertaker slides into the ring and looks up and down Fasha as he paces the ring. Referee Dave Hebner calls for the bell...
Megan: Fasha and Undertaker circling each other... taking their time in this... sizing each other up... Taker's 6'11" and Fasha's much smaller... TIE-UP! Taker with the whip to the corner, follows up-- CLOTHESLINE!! Fasha staggers out of the corner... and Taker with a scoop slam! Taker now, quickly locking in a camel clutch!
Tazz: Not so much as a submission as a way t'try to wear down Fasha! Taker's playin' smart, he knows how strong she is! If he can wear her down, he's got this match half-way done!
Megan: Valid points, Tazz! You're much helpful than the Human Brockshilling Machine Paul Heyman.
Tazz: Damn straight!
Megan: Taker releases the hold now... picking Fasha up and... OVER WITH THE SUPLEX! Fasha gets up... Taker picks her up... Fasha slips out... hammerlock by Fasha! Spins Taker around and... SHIN BREAKER BY FASHA!! SHOWING THAT SAIYAN STRENGTH OF HERS, LIFTING THE 300 PLUS POUND UNDERTAKER EFFORTLESSLY!
Tazz: Man, that was somethin' else!
Megan: Taker's a bit wobbly now and Fasha with a hurricarana!! Showing she's as agile as she is strong!
Tazz: Deadly combo! Gotta give props!
Megan: Taker's up! Fasha advances and-- TAKER GRABS FASHA'S ARM! SHORT ARM-- OHH, KNEE RIGHT IN THE GUT-- AND FASHA LANDS ON ONE KNEE! TAKER ADVANCES AND-- WHOA!!! FASHA WITH A KIND OF STANDING POWERSLAM!!! Taker rises up-- Fasha kicks him in the gut and-- MULE KICK RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!! Fasha waits... Taker gets up slowly, getting cobwebs shaken out... Fasha dashes forward-- slides under Taker's legs! Another hammerlock! OH! TAKER WITH A BACKHAND, knocking Fasha back! Taker takes advantage... PUMPHANDLE SLAM!! Taker picks Fasha up... and THERE'S the sidewalk slam!! Taker picks her up again... FASHA GRABS TAKER! WHIPS HIM TO THE CORNER! CHARGES IN-- TAKER SIDE-STEPS-- OHHH!!! FASHA-- FASHA WITH A SPRINGBOARD SPEAR!!! TAKING A PAGE FROM MICHAEL CONNELLY'S GAMEBOOK!!!
Tazz: DAMN! She got all that move, Megan! Edge or Rhyno's gotta be green with envy right now!
Megan: Fasha measures Taker up.. but Taker gets up-- CHARGES IN!! FASHA CAN'T REACT IN TIME-- FLYING LARIAT!!!! VINTAGE UNDERTAKER IN ACTION TONIGHT! Taker picks Fasha up... and FASHA ONCE MORE GRABS TAKER AND WHIPS HIM TO THE CORNER! FASHA CHARGES IN AND-- TAKER DUCKS THE CLOTHESLINE! CLOTHESLINE OF HIS OWN!!! Fasha picks her up... PUNCH-- NO, FASHA BLOCKS! FASHA GRABS TAKER-- REVERSE STO!!!! Fasha flips to her feet and grabs Taker... and-- GUILLOTINE STRIKES TO THE TEMPLE! AND TAKER COLLAPSES UNDER THE PRESSURE! Fasha picks him up... TAKER KICKS FASHA! PICKS HER UP... OKLAHOMA SLAM!!! TAKER WITH THE PIN!!!
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Megan: NO, FASHA KICKS OUT! Taker goes to pick Fasha up... and Fasha counters to the headlock! Spins to Taker's back and drop toe holds him! Taker's getting up... PUNCH TO FASHA'S GUT!! And a CLUBBING FOREARM TO HER BACK! Taker keeps her standing... picks her up and... PUMPHANDLE SLAM! Another one! More stronger than the last!
Tazz: Taker's feeling confident, Megan! Match is still in the beginning, though!
Megan: Taker-- DOWN WITH A BRAINBUSTER ON FASHA! WHOA! FASHA LANDS ON HER FEET! TAKER GETS UP! KICK TO THE GUT!!! AND--
Megan: DROPSHOT DDT!!!! DROPSHOT DDT!!!!
Tazz: DAMN!! FASHA PICKED TAKER UP AND DID THAT WICKED EVENFLOW IMPACT DDT!!!
Megan: Fasha with the pin!!
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Megan: TAKER KICKS OUT!!!! Fasha gets up-- TAKER DOES TOO! FASHA WITH A MULE KICK!!! TAKER STAGGERS! FASHA GRABS HIS ARM-- ARM WRENCH-- INTO THE HOOK KICK!! Taker struggles up... Fasha grabs him-- TAKER KNEES HER IN THE GUT! PICKS HER UP-- BACKBREAKER BY THE UNDERTAKER!! FASHA TRIPS TAKER! GRABS HIS LEG!! KICKS IT!! PICKS TAKER UP-- HOPS BACK-- SPINNING HEEL KICK!!! AND FASHA WITH THE PIN!!
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Megan: NO! TAKER KICKS OUT!! Fasha picks Taker up... whips him to the ropes and... TAKER WITH THE NECKBREAKER!! Taker now, straddling Fasha and raining he punches down on her!! Picks her up for the... SUPLEX!! Grabs her... FASHA ROLLS FREE! PUNCHES-- NO, TAKER BLOCKS! PUNCHES BACK!! Grabs-- NO! FASHA COUNTERS BACK TO THE HAMMERLOCK! TAKER-- WITH A FIREMAN'S CARRY?! o_O;; Geez, I expected technical wrestling from Benoit and Angle, not these two!!
Tazz: They're just showin' what they got! Provin' they're the best, Megan!
Megan: I guess... Fasha grabs Taker! Whips him to the corner! And Fasha with the Hangman's Sleeper in the corner! Referee Dave Hebner administering the five count! And Fasha releases cleanly! Taker staggers out of the corner... Fasha grabs him and-- DOWN WITH THE FRANCHISER!!! FASHA WITH THE PIN!
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Megan: TAKER GETS A SHOULDER UP! Fasha picks him up! TAKER WITH AN UPPERCUT! A PUNCH TO THE JAW! TO THE STOMACH! WHIPS HER TO THE CORNER! HE GRABS HER AND--
"OLDSCHOOL!!!!" Undertaker shouts out!
Megan: And the fans cheer wildly!! TAKER UP ON THE TOP ROPE!! WALKING THE ROPE WITH FASHA'S ARM IN HIS GRASP AND-- DOWN WITH THE FOREARM!!!!!! WOW!!
Tazz: Taker doesn't do that move often, Megan! Proves how awesome tonight is!!
Megan: No kidding!! Taker now, picking Fasha up! And... GRABS FASHA BY THE NECK!!! LIFTS HER UP!!!!
Megan: CHOKESLAM BY THE UNDERTAKER!!!! TAKER WITH THE PIN!!!
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.THR--
Megan: FASHA GETS A FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!!! VERY GOOD RING PRESENCE BY FASHA!! Taker picks her up-- FASHA SQUIRMS FREE! GRABS TAKER! WHIPS HIM TO THE ROPES! FASHA FOLLOWS IN-- CLOTHSLINE! FOLLOWED WITH A BULLDOG! Taker slowly gets up... and Fasha THROWS HIM BACK DOWN HEAD-FIRST! Picks him back up! KICK TO THE GUT AND-- OMIGOD!!! O_O!!
Tazz: HOLY-- FASHA TURNED TAKER INSIDE OUT WITH DAT CLOTHESLINE!!!! JUST HOW STRONG IS THAT GIRL?!!!
Megan: Pretty strong! Fasha now, grabs the downed Taker... AND DRIVES IN THE KNEES WITH THE FURY'S RAIN!! Fasha picks Taker up.. looks like she's about to deliver the Dropshot DDT again! TAKER PUSHES HER BACK! KICK TO THE GUT! AND--
Tazz: THERE IT IS!!!
Megan: FASHA'S IN TROUBLE!!! SHE'S UP--
Megan: -- AND DOWN!! LAST RIDE!!! Fasha looks out of it! Taker with the pin!
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.THREE--
Megan: NNNOOO!!!!! FASHA GETS A SHOULDER UP!!! BARELY!!!! BARELY GETS A SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!! TAKER CAN'T BELIEVE HOW RESILIANT SHE IS!!!! FASHA'S PICKED UP BY TAKER!!! ANOTHER LAST RIDE?!! PICK UP... AND-- NO! FASHA SQUIRMS FREE!!! LANDS BEHIND TAKER AND-- WHOA!!! REVERSE DROPSHOT DDT!!!!! FASHA PINS!!
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.THREE!!!
Megan: FASHA DID IT!!!!!! MY GOD, SHE DID IT!!!!!! FASHA'S DEFEATED THE UNDERTAKER!!!! WHAT AN UPSET!!!!!
Tazz: HUGE UPSET!!!! TAKER'S UP, AND HE CAN'T BELIEVE IT! IT'S JUST SINKIN' IN!
Megan: Fasha's exhausted, and so is Taker! Taker gets to his feet now... what's gonna happen here? They're facing each other and... Taker holds his hand out to Fasha!
Tazz: Major class from the Dead Man!
Megan: And Fasha accepts it! Taker raises Fasha's arm! Great sportsmanship from the Undertaker! He acknowledges Fasha's skill! And with this victory, Fasha just may have cemented herself as a future main eventer in the EAW!!! We'll be right back!!
**Ad Break**
Megan: Welcome back everyone... and... well, I can't say the next match will be an impressive technical contest, but I'm sure, many..MANY people will enjoy it for other reasons. Not the least of which LG, Bischoff secretly, and Paul Heyman. Maybe even you, Tazz.
Tazz: Hmph... well, here is a match coming up that's almost 5 yeahs in the making. The Hitman and the Vin-man... one on one!!
Megan: And Tom Zenk, and Ted Turner, and Bob Costas...
Tazz: We get the pernt!
No Chance cues up...
Cappetta: The following Grudge Match is scheduled for one fall with no time limit, and no disqualification. Introducing first... accompanied by WWE Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff--weighing in at 252 lbs... from Greenwich, Connecticut...
Tazz: Ugh... Bischoff... just the sight of 'em makes me sick..
Cappetta: --the C.E.O. of World Wrestling Entertainment... Vincent Kennedy McMahon!
The crowd boos the promoter, who lashes out at the ringside fans. McMahon is dressed in black workout pants and is shirtless. Bischoff reassures him, and McMahon sneers at them as he makes his way down to ringside... as the referee makes his way through the crowd and gets into the ring...
Tazz/Megan: EARL HEBNER?!? O_o
Vince gets in the ring, and he, Eric, and Earl exchange pleasantries...
Tazz: Megsie... mind giving me the heads up on what dis is all about?!
Megan: I don't know... Vince and Gokuo's booking teams met up to plan out intricacies like this... but Earl Hebner referring. Sounds bad in a match like this.
Tazz: Eh... nevertheless, this'll be AWESOME! Look at the guns on Vince!
Megan: He's stronger than the average man his age, but still isn't much of a wrestler... which would be okay if he wasn't facing--
One Step Closer by Linkin Park cues up.
Megan: --this man.
The fans cheer as Bret Hart comes out, complete in sunglasses and leather jacket.
Cappetta: AND HIS OPPONENT... from Calgary... Alberta, Canada: he stands six foot even and weighs in at 235 pounds. BRET... the HIIIIIIIIIIIIITMAN... HART!!
Megan: Bret Hart giving the sunglasses to that young fan at ringside..and--oh, if looks could kill...
Tazz: Wait for it... here it comes... HAHAHAH!! I love that Adam's apple thing Vince does!
Megan: I don't exactly know what state of mind McMahon was in when he agreed to this match, but I wouldn't rule out alcohol. Remember folks... don't drink and sign a match...
Tazz: Would that apply to Stone Cold?
Megan: Depends on the stipulations. And Hart not looking to trusting of Hebner either... but getting inside the ring anyway. Bischoff and McMahon discussing, and Bischoff out to the outside...
*ding, ding*
Megan: There's the bell, and Bret not even taking his jacket off. He's--CHALLENGING McMahon to take the first swing!
Tazz: That may be a mistake against the CEO of Steel!
Megan: The CEO of Steel has a glass jaw from rumors I've heard--and TAKES THE SHOT... Hitman barely fazed--anoth--catches the arm--and sorry, Vince--one free shot only, and squeezing the fist of McMahon. Driving him down to his knees as he grabs the other. Shots to the forehead by Hart. ELBOW to the top of the head. Axhandles across the back. Pulling McMahon up, and--LOW BLOW by McMahon!! Sets him up... and a DDT!
Tazz: BOOYA!! McMahon showing he's got it. Posing now--Bret Hart yanking him around... SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE!!
Tazz: Okay, so bossman underestimated him...
Megan: Hart picking up McMahon... sends him to the ropes, and a SIDE BACKBREAKER by Hart! Driving Elbows to the sternum! Cover by Hart--
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ONE!
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TWO--and picks him up off the mat!
Tazz: Shots to the kidneys and lower back of Vince, and Bret actually approaching Vince much like he would any opponent.
Megan: At least for now, and another shot to the ropes--POWERSLAM by Hart! And picks him up--to the corner... CHARGING CLOTHESLINE!! And Vince slumped in the corner--HART STOMPING A MUDHOLE IN HIM!! And this is just TOO, TOO, WONDERFUL to describe. Hart sliding out..and setting up McMahon... CROTCHES HIM on the ringpost. And looks like--YES! The Figure Four around the ringpost!! McMahon trying to tap, but this is No DQ and not Falls Count Anywhere, so Bret can't legally get a submission win outside of the ring. BISCHOFF STOMPS on the throat of Bret Hart!! Vince's cornerman Eric Bischoff--making the save for McMahon?!
Tazz: Tru-ly bizzah... picks him up--rams him to the ringpost. Kicks to the midsection... roundhouse kick staggers him--McMahon inside the ring--BASEBALL SLIDE DROPKICK to the back of the head of Hart!!
Megan: McMahon sliding out of the ring, and grabbing Hart by the back of the head--RAMS him headfirst into the table... again... blocks the third--ELBOW to the chest--RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP by Hart. Grabs a hold of some cables... and now--CHOKING MCMAHON!!
Tazz: Bischoff scared to come near... Vince tryin’ to loosen 'em.
Megan: Letting go now... Bret--WHIPS McMAHON to the steel stairs! Pulling loose the top part. Vince getting up--FLOORS VINCE WITH THE STEPS!
Tazz: DA JUICE IS LOOSE!! McMahon gushin’ like Ol' Fateful!
Megan: McMahon busted open! And Hart--grabbing him by the seat of his pants--TOSSES him back in the ring, and McMahon crawling away... begging... PLEADING! Grabbing him by the ankles--and HEADBUTT to the stomach by the Hitman--Sharpsho--NO! CATAPULTS McMahon into the corner--GERMAN SUPLEX--
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ONE!
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.
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TWO!--and Bischoff in and kicks Hart in the base of the spine... Hart up... and looking VERY angry. Heading towards Bischoff--CLOTHESLINE in the back of the head by McMahon by surprise!! Bischoff now stomping away and kicking at Hart--
Tazz: THE HELL?! What's he doing... Big Show--
Megan: WWE Raw's Big Show coming out here now... as Bischoff and McMahon double team Hart--Big Show hits the ring... Bischoff backing off...
Tazz: Heheheh... GET HIM SHOW!!
Megan: Grabs Eric by that stringy black dyed hair of his, and tosses CLEAR OVER the top rope!!
Tazz: OOOH MY! IT'S GOOD!!
Megan: Big Show climbing out to the floor now, and Bischoff trying to crawl away--CAUGHT! Big Show picking him up... HELD UP HIGH BY BIG SHOW... and just carrying him--COMING OVER HERE!!--
Megan: Big Show just CHOKESLAMMING Eric Bischoff through our announce table with ease!
Tazz: Er... Bisch crawling around there--I think he's looking up your skirt.
Megan: Wha? EEK! ^SLAP^
Bischoff: X_x
Hart shakes off the attacks by Bischoff and McMahon and gets up...
Megan: Hart up... McMahon going for--low blow--and the VINNIE MAC STUNNER!! Cover!
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ONE!
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Tw--Hart EASILY kicks out!
Tazz: Uh oh...
Megan: Hart getting up wiping his mouth... smiling. Vince now wearing the crimson mask... backing away--KNEE into the GROIN by Hart. Leans back and--LOW BLOW!! Now... ANOTHER!
2
Megan: ANOTHER ONE!
3
Megan/Tazz: (Laughing)
4!... 5!
Tazz: And the grapefruits are now grapefruit JUICE!!
Megan: Vertical Suplex by Hart... pick up... Side Russian Leg Sweep! Another... a VICIOUS back breaker!! Drags McMahon towards the corner... up to the top now--DRIVING ELBOW by the Hitman! Hart up now and... HERE IT IS!! THE SHARPSHOOTER!! THE SHARPSHOOTER!! And McMAHON TAPS!! * ding, ding, ding *
One Step Closer cues up as the crowd roars with applause.
Tazz: Oh man..that was brutal... BRU-TAL!
Megan: But in its own way... one of the greatest matches I've ever seen. Earl Hebner raising Hitman's hand, and I do believe that McMahon is going to need a pint of blood or two--Muta would be proud.
Tazz: I'm shocked he had enough left to tap...
Megan: Well, get the stretchers... and get McMahon and this PERVERT out of here... we'll be back in a bit, folks. ^_^
Love... Honor... Sacrifice... Betrayal
AND A WHOLE LOT OF DESTRUCTION!
G GUNDAM!
Monday through Thursday at 5:30
ONLY Toonami!
Tazz: Well Megan, you ready for another big tag team match?
Megan: I think EVERYONE is ready for this match... especially two of the participants in this match.
WEEELLLLL... .WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW!
From the entryway comes a much larger version of a certain EAW superstar comes out.
Capetta: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring, standing 7'2" tall and weighing in at 500 pounds... the Big Show!
Megan: Well, he's a lot more bulky than the version we have here.
Tazz: And I admit, a lot less talented as well. You have to wonder if his mood has calmed down at all from earlier.
Megan: I seriously doubt that. The way that Show was acting earlier, he shows that he has a LOT of rage to let loose.
Tazz: But another question is if he will be able to let that aggression out in this match.
Suddenly, the theme of the number one contender starts to play, and out comes that man, along with his manager.
Capetta: Aaaand his partner, being accompanied to the ring by his agent, Paul Heyman... from Minneapolis, Minnesota, standing 6'4" tall and weighing in at 295 pounds, he is the Number One Contender for the WWE Undisputed Championship... "The Next Big Thing" Brock... Lesnar!
Tazz: Smackdown's own Brock Lesnar, part of that big main event tomorrow night at Summerslam, Megan.
Megan: And the man who I have the unfortunate pleasure of sitting next to most of the time with him, Paul Heyman.
Tazz: Some people say that Heyman is simply leaching off of Brock's success... and I wouldn't doubt that from working in ECW for him, but it can also be said that Heyman helped influence these spots for him.
Megan: Very true, as he will tell you over and over again whenever he gets a chance.
THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"Shock" by Fear Factory cues up next, and in an explosion on the rampway enters the Digimortal.
Capetta: Aaaand their opponents... first from the Red Ribbon Army, standing 5'8" tall and weighing in at 125 pounds, The Digimortal... EIGHTEEN!
Megan: And here is the girl that plans to go to All Hallow's Extreme in October to face whoever is the EAW World Champion.
Tazz: But first, she has to get through this match and whoever wants to take her out, including a certain second generation star.
Megan: ... I hope that Eighteen punks him out really badly. Anyway, Eighteen in the ring now... and here comes her partner.
*KRAAAA-AAAASH!*
"Glass Shatters" by Disturbed starts to play over the speakers, and the crowd has erupted in cheers.
Capetta: Aaand her partner, from Victoria, Texas, standing 6'2" tall and weighing in at 241 pounds, Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Tazz: Man, I haven't heard that announcement in a LONG time, Megs. It's great to hear again.
Megan: And for me, it's very weird to hear. Austin walking down the entryway... and Lesnar seems to be chomping at the bit to get his hands on the Rattlesnake.
Tazz: And Brock not waiting for the bell, attacking Austin as soon as he's in the ring!
Megan: Austin and Brock slugging away at each other right away, and Big Show seems to want to get involved as well, but Eighteen holding the Big Show back.
Tazz: Already Eighteen showing off her incredible power, holding all 500 pounds of that monster back. Eighteen tossing Show out of the ring, and going to double team Lesnar.
Megan: Eighteen and Austin tossing Lesnar into the ropes, and they charge right at him, and a double clothesline knocks the man called the Next Big Thing right out of the ring.
Tazz: And Heyman right there to regroup his team... now Austin doing his four turnbuckle pose. Classic Austin right there...
Megan: And Eighteen joining Austin as well... wait, Show sliding back into the ring now... and yanks Eighteen off of the turnbuckle... and slams her hard onto the mat. COVER...
ONE
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Kickout!
Tazz: That shows some major endurance to take a slam like that in the center of the ring, and Eighteen getting up to her feet with ease.
Megan: Big Show trying for a large clothesline on Eighteen, but gets caught off guard as Eighteen gives him a devastating hip-toss... and I don't think that Show expected to be manhandled like this.
Tazz: This is the first time Show has been dominated like this since the 2002 Royal Rumble with Kane. Show in a sitting position in the corner, and Eighteen tagging in Stone Cold.
Megan: This has to be old hat for Austin now, as he enters the ring... and stomping away at the Big Show as he's down in the corner!
Tazz: And listen to the big What chant that he's getting from the crowd with this. It's very apparent that Austin is still big, despite what my company has tried to do to him.
Megan: Austin waiting for Show to get back up to his feet... Lou Thesz press... caught by Show... and Show flattens Austin into the corner with his body-mass. Show reaching over... uh oh.
Tazz: The Next Big Thing tagged into this match, and Lesnar now fully ready to destroy Austin... starting with a hard clothesline in the corner!
Megan: Lesnar quickly picking his shots against Austin... not wanting to take any chances... trying to decimate the Rattlesnake while he's at a weakened state.
Tazz: It's a smart move... now driving his shoulder repeatedly into Austin's ribs... the same attack he used against Rock this past Thursday.
Megan: Lesnar whipping Austin hard into the corner... but Austin putting on the brakes, and tags in Eighteen. Here's some unsettled fighting.
Tazz: Both Eighteen and Lesnar consider themselves monsters in their respective companies, and they both want to prove that they are THE unstoppable force.
Megan: Look at this stare-down between Lesnar and Eighteen... this is more intense than the previous one... Eighteen swinging for a roundhouse kick... Lesnar grabs the leg... and twists Eighteen down to the mat.
Tazz: Lesnar using brains over brawn for once in a match... and it seems to be working as he continually pounds away at the leg of Eighteen...
Megan: But Eighteen kicking Brock away with great force... sending him right into the turnbuckle. This battle is a war of the super-powers right now.
Tazz: Eighteen kipping up to her feet now, and charges at Lesnar, clotheslining him right out of his boots. Going off the ropes now... but yanked by the hair by the Big Show.
Megan: Lesnar tagging in Show now... who drops a big leg across the throat of Eighteen. Another cover...
One
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TWO... another kickout.
Tazz: Eighteen getting slower on getting back up to her feet now, perhaps this is because powered down, she may have some human weaknesses?
Megan: I'm not totally sure about that, but Eighteen is in trouble now. Big Show picking her up... verticle suplex by the gigantic man... Eighteen slipping behind... German Suplex by Eighteen... but Show with a tag... and Lesnar stomping right into Eighteen's prone stomach.
Tazz: Eighteen caught totally off guard with that blind tag followed by attack, and now Lesnar once again pounding away at Eighteen... and tearing away at her face while it's draped over the second rope.
Megan: Lesnar finally pulling away before he gets disqualified, and the referee admonishing Lesnar... but look at Heyman now... ripping away at Eighteen's face... and that only seems to make her madder.
Tazz: Eighteen can't focus on Heyman though, because Lesnar is extremely dangerous... striking with a clubbing blow to Eighteen's back... which barely fazes her!
Megan: Eighteen with that anger flowing through her body now, and she clocks Lesnar hard in the face... Lesnar in his corner, and tags in Big Show... who tries rushing at Eighteen.
Tazz: Eighteen ready though... and drops Show with a hard spinebuster. Cover now..
One
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TWO
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And Lesnar saves his team... getting out of the ring as Austin gets in.
Megan: But the referee is distracted now and giving Lesnar and Show the chance to double team Eighteen. Double suplex attempt... Eighteen blocking though... and EIGHTEEN with a double Suplex on Show and Lesnar. Eighteen showing she's SCARILY strong.
Tazz: Eighteen covering the Big Show... but no referee... and Lesnar picking her up... and Tilt-a-whirl powerslam onto Eighteen!
Megan: Lesnar getting out of the ring, and now the Big Show covering Eighteen...
One
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TWO... and a kickout with authority by Eighteen.
Tazz: Big Show trying to get back at her... but a HUGE thrust kick by Eighteen... sending Big Show flying into his corner... he tags in Lesnar... and Austin tagged in by Eighteen.
Megan: Austin a house of fire as he gets into the ring, clotheslines Lesnar down... now slugging away the the Big Show... and clotheslines him over the top rope!
Tazz: Show's about to get into the ring again, but Eighteen diving at him like a missile! Brock up to his feet again... Austin with the Old School Stun Gun!
Megan: Austin flipping Lesnar off now... STUNNER!... THE HELL?
Tazz: BROCK IS STILL ON HIS FEET!
Megan: Austin just noticing right now... kick again... A SECOND STUNNER... LESNAR IS STILL UP ON HIS FEET.
Tazz: Can ANYTHING keep this big man down? Austin is in shock... going again... THIRD STUNNER... Lesnar wobbling now, but STILL on his feet!
Megan: I don't think Austin has ever had this happen... Fourth time's the charm? One more stunner... and FINALLY Lesnar off his feet.
Tazz: That was the most Stunners Austin has EVER had to use on someone to get them down... going for the cover now...
One
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TWO
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THREE... NO!
Megan: Unbelievable... after FOUR Stone Cold Stunners, Brock Lesnar STILL manages to fight out. Austin seems pissed... he's gonna try again... going for the kick...
Tazz: Lesnar reaching under... and scooping Austin up... F5!
Megan: Lesnar covering Austin... but WAY too close to the ropes. Austin's feet under the bottom rope unconsciously, and that may have been the only thing that saved him in this match.
Tazz: Eighteen and Big Show finally getting back onto the apron, and Lesnar tagging in his partner again. Show starting to pick apart the downed Austin... driving his massive frame into the Texan.
Megan: Show picking Austin up... holding him up over his head as if he were a small child, and just drops him hard onto the mat. Show going for the cover now...
One
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TWO
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Austin BARELY getting his shoulder up off of the mat.
Tazz: The drive that Austin still has in him showing strong now, but the Big Show doesn't want Austin to continue to have that drive.
Megan: Big Show sending Austin off the ropes now, going to powerslam him... Austin ducks... and low blow! Austin diving into the corner now... and tags in Eighteen!
Tazz: The Digimortal DIVING at Big Show... and a thunderous clothesline takes the giant off of his feet!
Megan: Eighteen now sending the Show off the ropes... Bearhug... into a Bearhug Front Slam! Brock kicking Eighteen before she can get a cover, and Austin in the ring to brawl away with the Next Big Thing!
Tazz: Eighteen getting up to her feet now, grabbing show by the neck... and THE WRECKONER! But the referee is distracted by Heyman on the apron!
Megan: Unlucky break for Eighteen... Lesnar now picking Austin up... another F5? Heyman shoving the referee now... into Lesnar and Austin! Lesnar falling back... Austin trying to adjust... and Eighteen catching both of them.
Tazz: That would have been a close one... imagine how seriously injured Lesnar might have been if the Digimortal wasn't there...
Megan: And Austin... looks shook up now. Lesnar doesn't seem to mind though, as he goes back to pounding on the shaken Texan.
Tazz: Big Show pulling himself up to his feet now... Eighteen charging at him... and Big Show moves... Eighteen caught in a Rope Guillotine!
Megan: That's not gonna do Big Show too much of a favor though, as Eighteen really doesn't need air to breathe. Lesnar now on the apron, and makes the tag... and driving a knee right into the prone Eighteen's back.
Tazz: She may not need the air, but this is seriously restricting her mobility. Lesnar now grabbing the legs of Eighteen, and flips her back into the ring to get some more punishment.
Megan: Lesnar grabbing Eighteen... and locks her in the Brock-lock! Brock Lesnar trying to squeeze the life out of Eighteen's body with that submission hold... the same one that made Hulk Hogan pass out.
Tazz: But look at Eighteen... HARD headbutt by Eighteen... and Eighteen tags in Austin again!
Megan: Austin start pounding away on Brock, and sending him off the ropes... LOU THESZ PRESS! And Austin with hard right hands. Austin going off the ropes now... Spastic Elbow Drop! Quick cover...
One
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TWO
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And a kickout by Lesnar.
Tazz: You have to give Austin credit for trying, but I'm not sure that he has what it takes to defeat someone of Lesnar's calibur.
Megan: Austin going to the second turnbuckle, elbow drop attempt... and Lesnar moves. Lesnar waiting for Austin to get up...
Tazz: Lesnar with another F5! And this time, it's right in the center of the ring! Brock going for the cover now...
One
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TWO
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Eighteen BARELY making a save.
Megan: People have to wonder: Would Lesnar have won that match if Eighteen wasn't there? Lesnar tagging in Show... and both of these monsterous men pounding away at Eighteen... ignoring Stone Cold for now... could be a mistake..
Tazz: Show and Lesnar with a big double clothesline, sending Eighteen right out of the ring... and Heyman right over to her...
Megan: In the ring though, Austin poised, ready to attack Lesnar... Lesnar dodging... Show hit... STUNNER!
Tazz: Brock Lesnar just had the Big Show bite the bullet for him, and Show is down and out as Lesnar goes to protect his agent!
Megan: Austin going for the cover on the seven foot two man now...
One
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TWO
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THREE!
Capetta: Here are your winners, the team of Eighteen and Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Tazz: Big time win for this tag team... Big Show is still down and out on the mat and Eighteen now in the ring... Lesnar just leaving with Heyman.
Megan: Lesnar pulling Big Show out of the ring now... and come on... he was your partner for this match!
Tazz: Lesnar stomping away at Show on the outside... and now the F5 on the Big Show!
Megan: Austin and Eighteen not helping as Austin calls for his beers... and finally the rattlesnake notices Lesnar.
Tazz: Austin and Eighteen may have won the match, but one must wonder who would have won if it came down to just Austin and Lesnar.
Megan: Lesnar just grinning right now... he knows he has other things that he has to deal with tomorrow... and as for Austin and Eighteen, we're gonna have a drinking match. Folks, after this interlude, we'll be back with our main event. Stay tuned!
Megan: EAW All Hallow's Extreme!! Last year we saw a new World Champion crowned in Michael White when he defeated Blink!! Will we see Eighteen dethrone THIS man this year?!
On cue, "Broken" cues up! The fans cheer out as "Code Red" Michael Connelly walks out to ringside, the EAW World Title slung over his shoulder. He smiles to the fans, then holds the belt up over his head, prompting more cheers!
"The following match is the MAIN EVENT! EAW WORLD CHAMPION VERSUS WWE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!!" Howard Finkle states as he stands in the middle of the ring. "First, representing the EAW... from Mars, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 235 pounds! He is the EAW World Champion... CODE RED, MICHAEL A. CONNELLY!!!!!"
Megan: Look at Code Red! He's ready for this fight! The EAW's ready, the WWE's ready! The fans are ready!! This is so exciting!!!
Tazz: Nah, exciting isn't the word I'd call it... I'd call it electrifying... like THIS man!!
IF YOU SMMEEEEELLLLL!!!
WHAT THE ROCK!!
IS COOKIN'!
The Rock's Theme cues up and the fans cheer out just as loud as they cheered for Michael! The Rock steps out to the stage, WWE Undisputed title in hand as he looks out to the fans, raising the People's Eyebrow.
"His opponent!" The Fink continues. "Representing the WWE! From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 275 pounds! He is the WWE Undisputed Champion... THE ROCK!!"
Megan: Madison Square Garden is coming unglued!!! Two of professional wrestling's greatest champions are in the same arena!! And we are getting ready for one hell of a match!!
Tazz: I'm gettin' goosebumps, Megan! Major dream match here! It's gonna become a reality in just a few minutes!!!
The Rock slides into the ring, and walks up to Michael Connelly, staring down at the EAW's pride and joy. Michael stares back, not intimidated at the very least by the Great One.
Megan: You can feel the intensity! This is going to be one for the record books! Dave Hebner calls for the bell! Go time!!
Megan: Michael and Rock circle each other... tie-up! Michael with a knee-- immediately in the sore ribs of the Rock!! Locks in-- SWINGING NECKBREAKER!! Michael showing his smarts and going for the injured spots on the Rock's body! Picks Rock up-- but Rock-- THROWS MICHAEL FACE-FIRST TO THE MAT!! Rock keeps a hold of Michael and... delivers a suplex! Rock moves in, Michael gets up-- JIUJITSU THROW!! Rock rolls to his feet! Michael charges in! Rock-- GRABS HIS LEG! DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP! MICHAEL ROLLS TO HIS FEET! AND-- CLOTHESLINE BY THE EAW CHAMP! Michael now, grabs Rock up and-- KICK TO THE RIBS! AND-- RIB BREAKER!!! Again, a smart move by Code Red!
Tazz: Very smart! I admit I gotta be rooting for the home team in the WWE, but I can't knock Code Red for being the technician here!
Megan: Michael... another jiujitsu throw!! Goes to pick up Rock... Rock counters! AND-- SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!!! Michael rolls to his feet... Rock grabs-- MICHAEL SPINS BEHIND HIM AND-- FACEBUSTER!!!! Michael waits for the Rock to get up... and-- SIDE SUPLEX! AGAIN, THE TARGET IS THE RIBS!! Code Red goes to to pick up the Rock-- ROCK KICKS HIM BACK! GETS UP!! CLOTHESLINES MICHAEL DOWN!! The Rock picks him up-- MICHAEL KICKS ROCK IN THE RIBS! AND-- POWERBOMB! NO, JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB! PINNING PREDICAMENT!!
1
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Megan: ROCK KICKS OUT!!! Michael quickly on Rock! ANOTHER SIDE SUPLEX!! Rock slow to get up... Michael grabs Rock-- ROCK COUNTERS! WHIPS TO THE CORNER! AND-- CLOTHESLINE BY THE ROCK! ROCK NOW... SUPLEX!! Rock raining punches down on Code Red's face now! Picks him back up and... SNAP suplex!! And a Rock-style stomp for good measure! Rock picks Code Red back up and... CODE RED WHIPS ROCK-- NO, SHORT-ARM-- INTO A TILT-A-WHIRL SIDE SLAM! ONCE MORE THE RIBS!! Michael now... locks in an octopus stretch! Rock struggles to get free... thos ribs must REALLY be hurting him! Michael releases the hold early! GERMAN SUPLEX!!
Tazz: Code Red's been all textbook so far! I gotta say I'm impressed with this guy!
Megan: Code Red now... T-BONE SUPLEX!!! Rock slowly gets up... Michael goes to kick-- ROCK BLOCKS!!! SPINS MICHAEL AROUND!! AND-- BULLDOG BY THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION! Michael staggers up and the ROCK-- EXPLOSIVE FOREARM SMASH!!!!! ROCK NOW, MOVE FORWARD AND-- WHOA, HERE WE GO, TAZZ!!!!
Megan: The elbowpad goes to the crowd!! AND HERE COMES THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN--
Tazz: INTERCEPTED!!!
Megan: CODE RED WITH A DROP TOE HOLD!!! RED TAPE!!!! MICHAEL WITH THE RED TAPE!!! ROCK'S SCREAMING IN PAIN!!! THE ROPES... ROCK'S SO CLOSE, BUT SO FAR FROM THE ROPES!!! ROCK'S STRAINING... STRAAAIINNNNING ANDHEGOTTHEROPES!!!!! ROCK STAGGERING UP! MICHAEL ADVANCES AND-- BELLY TO BELLY BY THE ROCK!!! AND THE ROCK-- SHARPSHOOTER!!! NO! CODE RED IS TRYING TO COUNTER IT! CAN HE DO IT!!! HE... DOES IT!!! THE ROCK MUST NOT HAVE HAD THE PROPER LEVERAGE TO GET IT LOCKED IN RIGHT!!!
Tazz: Got that right!
Megan: Michael manages to get up and the Rock... sizing him up! And... GRABS HIM ACROSS THE CHEST HERE IT COMES!! ROCK... BOTTOM!!! WITH AUTHORITY!!!! ROCK PINS!!
1
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2
Megan: NO! Solid two count but that's all the Rock gets!! Rock doesn't give up... picks Michael up and whips him to the ropes! SAMOAN DROP!! Rock picks him up! NO! CODE RED SHOVES! AND-- CLOTHESLINE! MICHAEL NOW-- WHOA!
Tazz: ELEVATED CRAB!!
Megan: KUMO NO AMIMONO!!! SHADES OF HIS WIFE OSEIKO!!!! MORE PRESSURE ON THE RIBS, AND ON THE BACK TOO!!! ROCK'S SHOWING THE PAIN... TRYING TO GET FREE... MICHAEL RELEASES IT! Rock slowly trying to get up... Michael grabs Rock up! ANOTHER swinging neckbreaker!! Michael now... LEG SCISSOR ROLL OVER!!! Rock up now-- AND-- CONNELLY HOPS OVER THE RECOVERING ROCK AND-- CONNELLY COMET!!!!! CODE RED RUNS TO THE TOP ROPE! ROCK GETTING UP--
Megan: MICHAELSAU-- WHOAA!!!!!!! ROCK COUNTERED!!!!! CROSS BODY!!!! WE HAVEN'T SEEN A MOVE LIKE THAT SINCE THE DAYS OF THE BLUE CHIPPER!!!!!
Tazz: WHOO! PULLIN' OUT ALL THE STOPS!!!
Megan: Rock powerslamming Code Red now! Pick up... whips him to the ropes! Rock follows up-- Michael ducks! Slingshots himself on the opposite ropes! Extreme criss-crossing action! AND-- DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!! CODE RED AND ROCK ARE DOWN!!! THEY'RE BOTH DOWN!!! AND THEY BOTH LOOK OUT!!!!
Tazz: WHOOOO!! THIS IS INTENSE MEGAN! HEBNER'S MAKING THE TEN COUNT...
1
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4
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.5
Megan: LISTEN TO THE FANS!!!! I THINK IT'S SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE!! CHANTS FOR ROCKY! CHANTS FOR MIKEY!!! THE FANS ARE LOVING THIS!!!!
Tazz: THEY'RE TRYING TO GET THESE GUYS TO KEEP IT UP! NONE OF 'EM WANNA SEE A DRAW HERE!!!
6
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7
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Megan: DOUBLE KIPPUP!!!!!! SIMULTANEOUS!!!! PERFECT SYNCRONICITY!!!!!
Tazz: AWESOME!!! AND THE FANS ARE EATIN' THIS UP!!! I CAN'T EVEN HEAR MYSELF THINK, THE POP'S HUGE!!!
Megan: ROCK NOW, FOREARM SMASH OUT OF DESPERATION!!! PICKS HIM UP-- ROCK BOTTOM!! NO! MIKEY ELBOWING ROCK IN THE NECK! GRABS ROCK!! FRONT RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!!! Michael looks exhausted... looking to set Rock up! CONDITION RED COMING UP-- ROCK COUNTERS-- SPINEBUSTER!!!! SPINE IN THE PINE AND THE ROCK NOW-- PEOPLE'S ELBOW ATTEMPT AGAIN?!
Tazz: HA, Rock saw he already took THAT elbowpad off, so he takes the OTHER one off!!
Megan: Rock criss-crosses... THE MOST ELECTRIFING MOVE...
Megan: IMPACTS!!!!! COVER!!!
1
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2
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.THREE!!!!!
Megan: UNBELIEVABLE!!! I'M OUT OUT BREATH, TAZZ!!!! THE ROCK HAS MANAGED TO PULL OUT A VICTORY AGAINST CODE RED MICHAEL CONNELLY!!! BOTH MEN, THOUGH... GETTING A STANDING OVATION FOR THE PERFORMANCE THEY'VE JUST SHOWN EVERYONE!!!!!
Tazz: HUGE PROPS! HUGE HUGE MEGA HUGE PROPS!!!! THAT'S WHY THEY'RE THE CHAMPS, MEGAN!!! THEY'VE SHOWN US THAT TONIGHT!!!!
Megan: Rock now, picking Michael up... and gives him a big hug!! Rock may have won the match, but both men have won big in the hearts of the fans here tonight!!
Tazz: It's been one hell of a pleasure workin' with ya too, Megan! You're all right!
Megan: Same here, Tazz! Hope we can do this again sometime!
Megan and Tazz both shake hands as the Rock and Michael Connelly exit the ring together. As the get to the stage--
Megan: Wha--?! THE LIGHTS?!!
Tazz: What the hell?! Who turned out the lights?!
Then heavy breathing begins to sound out all over the arena... followed by the whisperings of a Japanese word...
... Itte kimasu...
. . . iitteeeee kiiimmasssssu . . .
ittekimasu
... it... te... kim... masu...
Itte kimasu
... Itte kimasu...
... Itte...
... kimasu...
Itte
kimasu
... Itte kiMASU!!!
The lights suddenly come back on-- just as a deluge of red liquid falls from the rafters, hitting the ring and splattering everyone at ringside!!!
Megan: ... !
Tazz: AGH!! WHAT THE--?!
Megan: --ah-- oh-- God... what... this isn't... this isn't.. this better not be...
Tazz: Blood--?!
Megan: ...
The camera focus on the blood-spattered ring... and the whispering voice is heard one more time...
... iiiiiiiiiiiiiitteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmaaaaaassssssuuuuuu...
™ & © 2002 EAW, Inc
™ & © 2002 WWE, Inc.
