Live from the Pengrowth Saddledome in Calgary, Alberta, Canada!!

Megan: Welcome everyone to...uh...what Pay Per View is this again, Paul?

Paul: I believe it was..yes it is...EAW NO ESCAPE!! We're LIVE from Calgary, Alberta, America Junior, where tonight's feature match will be Kirk Angel defending the EAW World Heavyweight Title...against...someone or other.

Megan: Well, that's a looooooooong way down the card. Up first, though, DEADLY EXTREMITY TO GET THEIR ASSES KICKED TONIGHT...when they face S&M in a tag team match to start. And they've gotta win or else their match with the Girls of Goth tonight will be non-title.

Megan: And even if they do win, they'll already be tired from this match, so GoG's gonna have a HUGE head start.

"Bodies" by Drowning Pool cues up...

Paul: And here they come now!! It seems like a bit of a love triangle has started with Rash, yo--

Megan: Shaddup, Paul... no one cares.

Paul: Uh...alright...

Capetta: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall, and will be held under Extreme rules. Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, at a combined weight of 261 pounds...Frosti and Savvy--Deadly Extremity!!!

Paul: I have to admit I certainly do NOT envy these two girls...even if this is a chance for them to prove themselves against the EAW Tag Team Champions...

Megan: The titles aren't on the line here anyway, so doesn't really matter if they win--not like they'll last for long anyway if they face the GoG...

As Savvy and Frosti get to the ring, the booing crowd gets on their case with "SLUTS!" chants.

Paul: How DARE they!! They are NOT!!

Megan: On the contrary--I don't think they're getting any, period. Rash doesn't really want to have any part of them...

Paul: I can think of several part of them I'd want...er...I mean, I'd be glad to console them for this horrible mental anguish these uncaring idiots are putting them through.

Megan: Oh, brother...

"DNR" by Testament cues up...and...the fans...cheer?!

Megan: Well, this is odd...

Paul: Well, for ONCE our tag team champions commanding the respect they deserve...

Megan: I just think they want to see those bitches getting their asses kicked.

Paul: Well...that's possible...

Capetta: And their opponents, from parts unknown...at a combined weight of 555 pounds...Spike and Morty--S&M!!

Megan: And this two-man wrecking crew hitting the ring, ready to run wild on these GLOOW rejects.

Paul: S&M making their way to the ring...and we're about to see a brutal tag team brawl...to the EXTREEEEEEEEME!!!

*ding, ding*

Megan: Frosti starting off now opposite Spike...slugging away at him--HEADBUTT by Spike puts the dumb bitch down...Frosti back up--Irish Whip to the ropes by Spike....big boot ducked, and Frosti with a DROPKICK to Spike! Spike against the ropes--Frosti charging--Spike tossing her OVer the top rope to the floor! Morty and Savvy are now brawling around the ringside area...Spike onto the apron now--Frosti getting up--and an AXEHANDLE to Frosti as she gets up! Spike now pulling down a portion of the ring apron...Frosti up--bearhug by Spike--and--RAMS her back first into it! Picking her up by the hair, scoops her up--thumb to the eye by Frosti--has Spike in a side headlock--up the stairs now, and BULLDOG ONTO THE FLOOR!

Paul: WHOA!! Outta nowhere! And Frosti up now--grabbing Spike by the hair--slamming his forehead into the steel stairs...setting it upon the apron now...Frosti in--Spike getting up in a daze--Frosti off the ropes--BASEBALL SLIDE DROPKICKS it into the face of Spike!

Megan: As much as I'd like to see Frosti the one to eat the steel--among other things--Spike's the one getting de-toothed. Frosti over the TOP now, splashing on top of Spike! And pinfalls count outside--

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ONE!

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TW--

Paul: NO NO NO!! And Frosti surprisingly taking it to the massive Spike here.

Megan: "Massive spike"...hehehehhehe...

Paul: ????

Megan: *ahem* Spike shoving her off...up to one knee--Frosti going for a waistlock--back elbow by Spike--a spinning elbow...Frosti dazed--rights now on Spike--CAUGHT...wristlock by Spike now--HUGE knee inta the gut, and now a MILITARY PRESS...TOSSES HER HIGH INTO THE AIR!!--crashing down on the barely padded floor now...and lovin' this match so far..

Paul: Spike now with a cover on Frosti...

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ONE!

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TWO!

Kickout!

Megan: Frosti in deep here...Spike tossing her back in the ring...following after...she's going to for a tag to Savvy--but Spike grabbing her by the leg--

Paul: Yanking her back up--ENZUI GIRI...but...NO EFFECT!! Spike still holding on--driving her knee into the canvas!! And Morty tosses a steel chair into the ring!

Megan: Oooooh...this'll be good...Spike winding up with the chair...swing and miss...DROPKICK into the face of Spike!! Frosti now sends Spike to the ropes...go behind--full nelson--DRIVER by Frosti!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Paul: Impressive comeback by Frosti there...tag to Savvy...Savvy in now...DOUBLE LEGDROP from Deadly Extremity. Both of them pulling him up...DOUBLE SUPLEX NO--Spike stops it--could be a double CHOKESL--Stereo kicks to the groin...both of DE to the ropes--leg trip by Frosti--Savvy with a front dropkick to the chest!!--SPIKE down to the canvas...cover by Savvy--Frosti dog-piling on...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!!

Megan: For Spike, having two women on top of him is a light day...like they really thought that would work. Spike up, and Frosti leaping onto his back--SNAPMARE by Morty--kick to midsection! And Frosti rolling out of the ring...Savvy to the ropes--caught--FACE CLAW SLAM by Spike!! And a tag to Morty!

Paul: I think that's called the "Suffering's End."

Megan: Whatever...S&M stomping away on Savvy---Frosti attempting to climb into the ring..Morty stopping her right there...Spike dragging her over there now--Double SUPLEX into the ring and ON TOP of SAVVY!! Morty with one foot on top of them...

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ONE!

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TWO!

KICKOUT!?

Paul: Savvy managing to kick out under all that weight...though probably a FULL cover by Morty may have done the job.

Megan: Morty wailing away on the bodies of DE with that steel chair...pulling--down the pants of Frosti...WHOO-HOOO! Bare ass!!

Paul: ...okay..and--OOOH!! OOOOH!! OOOOOOOOOH!!! Frosti getting spanked with the steel!! And now Spike putting Savvy over his knee....and Morty now...2 shots...a THIRD on the beautiful bare bottom of Savvy!!

Megan: Spike dragging Frosti out of th e ring, and Morty picking up Savvy--going for a suplex--Savvy landing behind--LOW BLOW!...Savvy to the ropes...HEADSCISSORS TAKEDOWN! To the corner now...Savvy up top, and SPLIT LEGGED MOONSA--KNEES UP BY MORTY!!

Paul: And Morty with a last-second counter there...Morty rolling on top of Savvy...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Megan: Morty up now, pulling up Savvy by the hair...SUPLEXES her over, and picks her up again--whips her to CORNER hard...and charges in now...

Paul: GORE!! GORE!! GORE!! in the corner!!

Megan: On the outside Spike is setting up a table on the floor, and it looks bad for these two--but GOOD for the viewers. Picking her up by the hair--tosses her over the top rope and onto the table. Spike holding her in place now...Spike setting himself up on the turnbuckle--FROSTI BLASTS SPIKE WITH THE RING BELL!!! Morty getting off of the top rope now, onto the apron--going for a Mortality Splash--ON TOP OF SAVVY!! But the table doesn't break...

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ONE!

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TWO!

Broken up by Frosti...Frosti and Morty brawling here now...Spike getting up dazed...Frosti and Morty now with--A 3D THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Cover by Savvy..

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ONE!

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TWO!

Broken up by Spike!

Spike tossing Savvy inside...Frosti whipped into the apron by Morty--Morty charges--BOTH FEET UP BY FROSTI!! Frosti up on the apron--Savvy in the headlock--but TAG MADE TO FROSTI--Spike not noticing--although tagging means little more than only the legal person can be pinned here...Frosti up top--MISSILE DROPKICK on Spike!! Spike back up--thrust k--Blocked by Spike--set up--ELEVATED BACKDROP by Spike!! And Morty coming in now...Morty pinning Frosti...

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ONE!

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TWO!.

...KICKOUT!

Paul: Morty dominating Frosti...setting her up for a German Suplex--standing switch--and Frosti from behind--hoisting up Morty...

Paul: CROTCHES HIM ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!

Megan: Excuse me, I need to take care of something...

Paul: And Megan, getting up from the announcing position...and...going up the ring stairs...as Frosti setting up a Hangman's DDT...grabbing the foot of Morty...preventing her from pulling it off--Megan now--CHOKING FROSTI WITH HER HER BLOUSE?!--I didn't know she wore a black bra...FROSTI AND MEGAN--CATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!! And MEGAN PULLING OFF FROSTI's TOP!! Spike and Morty taking an interest in it now...

RASH NOW FROM UNDERNEATH THE RING--RASH SHOOTS MEGAN WITH WEBBING!! Yanking her away now...and...SAVVY from behind--kick to the groin from behind on Morty...setting her up...powerbomb...another...Frosti off the top---the DEMONESS FUSION!!! Frosti with a cover on Morty...

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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THREE!!!

*ding, ding*

Capetta: Here are your winners...DEADLY EXTREMITY!!!

The crowd boos at that announcement, but Spike and Morty shrug it off, nailing a pair of lariats on Deadly Extremity before leaving the ring...

Paul: Rash taking the microphone now...and..what's this all about.

Rash: So...thought you could fool us, eh? Well, now, ladies and gentlement...the REAL, genuine article--MEGAN EKO!!

Paul: And...out from the back--ANOTHER MEGAN?!

And indeed...a woman looking identical to the girl trapped in Rash's webbing comes out from the back, and down to the ring.

"Thank you Rash...the plan worked--I WASN'T lying...I WAS being set up..but I wonder why she was trying to help S&M..."

Frosti grabs the microphone from Megan, after recovering from the lariat, "Because we DIDN'T Put her up to it...but great that you're so buddy-buddy with Rash now...symbiote-stealing bitch..."

"I'm not, nor have I ever tried, to steal Rash from you. It just happens that HE happens to have a crush on ME! But I'm already in a relationship, and for the time being, it doesn't look like I'll be dating anyone else yet. So get it through your thick skulls already that I'm NOT after Rash!" Megan says, getting rather angry now.

"But thanks to you, he doesn't love me anymore!" Frosti snaps back at Megan.

"I think that's more your fault than mine."

Meanwhile, the imposter just sits back and laughs.

"What's so funny, bitch!" Frosti snaps at her.

"Oh nothing...except this..." She takes out a cattle prod she conveniently had with her and shocks Frosti. Then, after removing the webbing, shocks Savvy.

Megan then jumps on the imposter, tackling her to the mat and slapping her hard.

She monkeyflips Megan off of her as she then grabs a mic.

"Don't flatter yourself, Hotcheeks." She says with a smirk as she rips off the glasses, and places a pair of shades in it's place. "You see, those two genetic freaks over there were only half-right. Those guys who showed up weeks ago? Yeah, Eko pleasured them, but it was ME! Maxie Eko! I had the fun and pleasure of making you out to be the slut you can be..."

Megan answers, "but...WHY?!"

Maxie gets up and smiles. "Because for one thing, I got bored and wanted to have some fun. And second...well...YOU'RE TOO FUCKING BORING!"

Megan then rears back and hits a roundhouse kick on Maxie...knocking her down...

Maxie gets back up, shaking off the kick..

"Nice kick...nice...just like I'd expected from you. But how about this." She retaliates with a passionate kiss to Megan. Then Belly-To-Belly suplexes her.

Paul: WHOA!! Rash now--webbing up Maxie again...DOUBLE-WEBBED...and Megan looking a little dizzy...but okay otherwise. OOOOH...I've just recieved some footage from backstage...roll it guys!

Backstage, we see the Big Show in the Girls of Goth dressing room, attacking Sin and Shade. He gives Shade the Show Stopper, then the Ultimate Finale to Sin. Suddenly, the same girl who attacked Kirk Angel appears and takes Show down with one blow. She then says to him...

"Why don't you back off before things become worse...for you!"

She then picks him up over her head and Body Presses him about 3 feet from across the room.

Paul: UNBELIEVABLE PIECE OF FOOTAGE there, don't you agree Megan?

Megan: Ouch...my back--and yes, Paul. I don't know who she could possibly be...who, if anyone, she's working with, and why she's targeted Kirk Angel and now Big Show, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time before we DO find out.

Scene switch to Michael Cole, who's with Oseiko at this moment.

Cole: Oseiko, we are moments away from your EAW Extreme title match with the champion Arana! Your thoughts?

Oseiko glances to Cole with a bit of sadness in her eyes, then sighs.

Oseiko: I thought I made it clear. I don't WANT this to be an Extreme title match... I'll fight Arana tonight, make no mistake. And I'll defeat Arana. But I won't except the Extreme title, Cole-san.

Cole: W... why not?

Oseiko: Because it's a SINGLES title. I want to challenge for the tag titles with Akiko-chan... but it seems she's losing her focus. It seems she has her eyes set on singles titles, while I want us to win the tag titles, as a show of our solidarity. Our unity, as equals. If Akiko becomes Cruiserweight champion and there is a possibility she might... that won't make us equals, Cole-san. She thinks it'll make us even greater as a tag team. But she's wrong... gomen nasai, Akiko-chan, but it will only make us weaker as a tag team.

Oseiko sighs deeply, then shakes her head.

Oseiko: If Akiko wins... then it's the end of Kyouki Shoujo as we know it.

Oseiko walks away to a stunned Michael Cole, as we go back to ringside.

Megan: Serious words from Oseiko... she seems more focused to be a tag champion than Extreme Champion!

Paul: That might end up costing her in the long run, Megan! Because if there's one thing that Arana is, it's a worthy champion of EXTREME!!!!!

Megan: Do I have to smack you?

Paul: Does Brock have to clothesline you? ^_^

Brock: Rrrr...

Megan: o.o;; ... Nevermind. ^^;

"Martyr" cues up, and the lights go out, followed by a single spotlight shining on the referee, Nick Patrick, in the ring. Then, rising from the the shadow Patrick casts, is Arana, the Extreme title over her shoulder as she steps from his shadow, then taptaps the ref on the shoulder, startling him and chuckling at his shock.

Megan: Quite the unconventional entrance from our Extreme Champion.

Arana: The master of shadows herself! Arana Recluse!! Our EXTREME Champion! Tonight she'll show the challenger that it'll take more than an EKUSUTORIIMU attitude to be the champion!

As the lights come back on and "Martyr" fades out, a new song cues up... "It's Love" by Rabbit plays as Oseiko drops down from a rope, sliding nimbly down to the stage!

Megan: Wow, new theme song and a new entrance from the challenger!

Paul: Not entirely new... Sting used to do that, you know.

Megan: Whatever... Oseiko looks to be all business as she heads to the ring! She slides in-- WHOA! BOTH GIRLS GOING AT IT!! AND THIS MATCH IS UNDERWAY!!

Megan: OSEIKO SIDE-STEPS ARANA! SENDS HER TO THE CORNER! FOLLOWS UP-- HANDSPRING FACECRUSHER!! Arana gets up... ducks a shotei from Oseiko! And... SPIDER'S BITE FROM ARANA! Arana slides out of the ring and searches for some weapons!

Paul: It's time to get EXTREME, folks! Ohh, a trash can! A couple of lids! A STOP SIGN! And of course a table!! Arana's got wood!!

Megan: ... You said it, not me... Arana's got a chair now! Slides in as Oseiko recovers-- OHH! VICIOUS SMACK BY ARANA! AND ANOTHER!! OSEIKO'S STAGGERED, THOUGH! AND-- WHOA! OSEIKO BLOCKS ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT!! AND-- WHAT A COUNTER!!!!

Paul: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Megan: Can we get an instant replay?!

Indeed we do... Oseiko crossed her arms and lifted them upward, blocking the downward chair shot, then grabbing the sides of the chair and jumping upward, flipping forward and delivering a flipping scissors kick to the top of Arana's head, at the same time taking the chair from her!

Megan: Unbelievable! Oseiko with the pin! One! T-NO! Arana kicks out! Arana kippups! SIDE KICK TO OSEIKO'S GUT! And Arana grabs the stop sign! THROWS IT AT OSEIKO!! NO! OSEIKO BLOCKS IT WITH THE KUMO NO SASU!! WAIT! ARANA WAS COUNTING ON THAT! SHE'S CLIPPED OSEIKO'S OTHER LEG!! SIDE LEG LOCK APPLIED!!!

Paul: An excellent strategy, attacking Oseiko's primary strengths!

Megan: NO! OSEIKO KICKS OUT OF THE HOLD! She rolls to her feet! SHE HAS THE CHAIR! THROWS IT TO ARANA AND-- VAN DAMINATOR!!!

Paul: ROB VAN DAM WOULD BE PROUD!

Megan: PIN! ONE! T--NO! STILL A ONE COUNT! Arana looks angry... maybe busted up a little! She charges-- NO, OSEIKO WITH A JAPANESE ARM DRAG-- AGH, RIGHT ON TOP OF THAT TRASH CAN!!! Oseiko didn't plan on that but it was effective! Oseiko picks Arana up... Irish whips her to the ropes... and... TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!! More pain to Arana's back!! Obviously setting her up for the Kumo No Amimono!

Paul: The best damn crab variation in this sport today!

Megan: Oseiko backward rolls out of the ring... looks like she's going to look for some weapons now! And... she's pulled out a table of her own!!!

Paul: Now Oseiko's got wood!!!

Megan: Yeesh, they're not hermaphrodites, Paul... Oseiko sets the table up and slides in... AND ARANA MEETS HER! Grabs her and with the Irish Whip! ARANA SIDE-STEPS OSEIKO! KICK-- NO, OSEIKO BLOCKS AND CAPTURES IT! AND-- NO, ENZIGURI BY ARANA!! Arana now sets up... THERE'S THE FUJIWARA ARMBAR!!! OSEIKO'S SCREAMING! BUT SHE'S NOT TAPPING! AND-- AGH!!! O_O!

Paul: O.O!

Megan: Oseiko with a VERY LOW BLOW TO ARANA!!!

Paul: Low nothing! She punched Arana right between the thighs!!!

Megan: I guess it would be a desperation move, but knowing Oseiko's background as a ninja... *shrug* Arana's in pain now! Oseiko slides out of the ring! And... ooohhhhh, she just pulled out a ladder!!

Paul: What's she gonna do with that?!

Megan: She just set it up on the outside and climbed it, waiting for Arana to get up... and-- WHOA!!! MISSILE DROPKICK FROM THE OUTSIDE RIGHT ONTO ARANA'S CHEST!!! AND THE COVER! ONE! TWO! NO! ARANA KICKS OUT!!!

Paul: Not quite enough to take down the Shadow Queen!!

Megan: Oseiko pick Arana up... NO! ARANA WITH A KICK TO OSEIKO'S GUT AND-- MICHINOKU DRIVER II!!!

Paul: Or the Kumouchikomu if Oseiko did it.

Megan: Arana with the cover! One! Two! NO! Oseiko kicks out!! And Arana... JUST LOCKS ON A BOW AND ARROW LOCK!!! TRYING TO MAKE OSEIKO GIVE UP! BUT SHE'S NOT DOING IT!!!

Paul: At least in that position Oseiko can't hit Arana in any sensitive spots on her body!

Megan: WRONG! EYE RAKE!!! ARANA LETS GO! Both girls slow to rise... Arana's first to grab Oseiko! AND-- OHHHH! VENOM FANG!! OSEIKO'S BACK DOWN... and now Arana's got the table set up!!! Ohh, this doesn't bode well for Oseiko! AND... Whoa... WHOAA!!!!!!!

Paul: OSEIKO JUST GOT WOOD!!!

Megan: VENOM FANG II RIGHT ONTO THE TABLE!!!! COVER! ONE! TWO! TH--NO!!! OSEIKO KICKS OUT!!! OSEIKO KICKS OUT!!! ARANA CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! She grabs Oseiko... WAIT! OSEIKO PUSHES ARANA BACK AND-- KUMO NO SASU!!!!! KUMO NO SASU!!!! OSEIKO'S NOT PINNING... GOING UP TO THE TOP ROPE AND-- SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! COVER!!! ONE! TWO!! THR--NO!!!!

Paul: SO, SO CLOSE TO HAVING A NEW EXTREME CHAMPION!!!

Megan: Oseiko looks pretty weak... she... WAIT!!! IT'S CRASH HOLLY!!!! HE'S GOT THE STEEL CHAIR!!! AND-- AGH!!! RIGHT IN OSEIKO'S FACE!!! OSEIKO FALLS AND... ARANA TAKES ADVANTAGE!! ONE! TWO! THREE--NO!!!!! TWO AND 1/10th of a SECOND!!!! OSEIKO STILL KICKS OUT!!! AND CRASH CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! Arana can't either... she manages to get up now... gets Oseiko up... AND THERE'S THE VENOM TRAP!!! And that signals the end...

Paul: The Arana Clutch is coming up!!

Megan: Arana grabbing Oseiko's leg... NO! OSEIKO TRIPS HER WITH THE OTHER! SPINS TO A SPLITS AND WHAT A FLIPPING LEG DROP!! Oseiko grabs Arana... hooks the arms! ROLLING BUTTERFLY LOCK!!!! ARANA'S SCREAMING!! CRASH IS NEARBY AND HE DOESN'T LIKE WHAT HE'S SEEING! WHOA! OSEIKO JUST FLIPPED TO ARANA'S LEGS!! AND THERE'S THE KUMO NO AMIMONO!!!! SHE HAS IT LOCKED IN!!! ARANA'S TRYING TO GET OUT OF IT BUT IT'S IN TIGHT!!! ARANA'S SCREAMING IN PAIN!! SHE'S TRYING!! SHE... SHE'S TAPPING!! SHE'S TAPPING!!! OSEIKO WINS!!!!

Paul: AND LOOK AT CRASH!! HE'S JUST WET HIMSELF!!! LOOK AT THE TANTRUM HE'S THROWING!!!

Winner And NEW EAW Extreme Champion: Oseiko

Oseiko unlocks the hold and looks to the irate Crash and the recovering Arana, then to Nick Patrick as he gets the Extreme title to hand it to Oseiko--

Megan: W-wait, Oseiko just left the ring! She's leaving through the crowds!

Paul: WITHOUT the Extreme title?!

Megan: She DID say she wouldn't accept the belt! She was telling the truth, but the records still say she's Extreme Champion!! This is very confusing... well... let's go now to Ayane Mitsui! Take it away, Ayane!!

Scene switch to Ayane, who's in the locker room with Kane; The Violent Reactor's got a new outfit on... black with black leather-style flame designs on the tights, topless, and with a leather mask with a similar design; black with shiner black streaks upon it. By his side is Christina, who's dressed similarly.

Ayane: Kane... tonight you'll be facing Kaye in the last ever Hell's Asylum match! Much has happened since you challenged her... any closing thoughts?

Kane nods softly.

Kane: Just one... Kaye, tonight, I'll win. No questions asked. I will win for the honor of Christina... sure... maybe it was stupid to bring up something that ended years ago, but still, better late than never. I fight for Christina's honor, not mine. And I will win tonight... I will end this. And no one... NO ONE... is gonna stop me.

Kane looks to Christina.

Kane: Stay here, okay? I don't want you near the ring.

Christina nods softly, then gives Kane a kiss on the cheek of the mask.

Christina: Be careful, okay?

Kane nods, stroking Christina's hair, then turns to head to the ring, as we go to another part of the building, where we see new EAW Superstar Fasha! She's walking around the parking lot, a sledgehammer in hand, as she looks for something.

Fasha: Hmm... lessee... now where is it... ahh, ha! Here we are!

Fasha smiles as she approaches a very nice 2002 Buick.

Paul: WHAT THE F**K?! T-THAT'S MY CAR!!!

Megan: I guess it is, but... what does she have planned?!

Fasha looks to the camera as she raises the sledgehammer to her chest, hugging it.

Fasha: See, boys and girls... one thing I've learned back in the Street Fighter circuit is that it pays to make a great first impression. So...

Fasha suddenly rears back and swings the sledgehammer hard right in the trunk!!

Paul: O_O!! AGGHH!!! MY CAR!!! WHAT'S SHE DOING TO MY CAR?!!!

Megan: Destroying it, looks like!

Fasha continues the demolition, smashing into Paul Heyman's rear windshield, the doors, the roof, then the hood and even the tires!! When it's all done, Fasha then throws the sledgehammer right into the front windshield, triggering the car alarm!

Paul: O_O!! OH, MY GOD!!! THAT'S IT!!! BROCK! KILL!!

Brock: Rrrr!

Brock Lesnar leaves ringside and runs down the aisle as Fasha crosses her arms and smiles.

Fasha: It pays to make a good first impression, and in this case, I've made several nice ones in your car, Paul E.! And you wanna know why I did this?

Paul: YEAH!!! WHY!!! ;_; WHY DID YOU TRASH MY CAR?!!!

Fasha: It's a challenge. To Brock Lesnar. He's big and bad and strong... and that's how I like 'em. And I wanna fight him. Any time, any where.

Paul: GOOD! 'CAUSE HE'S COMING OVER THERE TO GIVE YOU A THRASHING YOU WON'T FORGET, YOU... YOU BITCH!!!

Fasha notices Brock coming, then smiles, skipping back.

Fasha: Uh uh! Not now! In the ring, Brocky! I'll see ya in the ring!!

Brock stops, then stares at the departing Fasha, growling as he looks at Paul's destroyed car, then goes to follow her!!

Back to ringside as the nightmarish Hell's Asylum is being lowered down to the ring.

Megan: Wow! That was pretty wild, Paul! Fasha delivering quite the message to you and Brock Lesnar!

Paul: >_<;;; You know how much I paid for that car?!! DAMMIT! When Brock gets his hands on that monkey tailed wench, she's gonna wish she never left her fry jockey job at Wendy's! Hell, by the time he's through with her she's gonna be spending time with Dave Thomas himself in Heaven!!!

KRAK-KOOMMM!!!!!

Paul: AGH!

"Burning Inside" cues up as the Hot Pink Machine walks down to the aisle. She looks up almost solemnly at the Hell's Asylum structure, then slips her mask on as she enters it.

Megan: So much drama has occured during the formation of this match here tonight! Hopefully tonight everything will be settled!

Paul: Well, like Booker T always said, "Save the drama for yo' mama!" That what I would say to Ariel for being all whiny and everything! Yeesh... stupid brat.

Megan: And once more you show your love, Paul.

Paul: Damn strai--

KRAK-KOOMMM!!!! Paul: AGGHH!! Dammit!

"A Violent Reaction" plays as Kane walks down to the aisle, adjusting his glove as he stares at Kaye. Kae stares back at the Violent Reactor, but before Kane can enter the Hell's Asylum--

Megan: WAAAIT a second! That's "The Mummers' Dance?!"

Paul: Morrigan! Our soon to be (co or ex)-commisioner has come out to meddle once again!!

Morrigan smiles to the cheering fans, then looks to Kane and Kaye.

Morrigan: Now, before the two of ye go and destroy each other, I'd like tae inform the both of ye that as if this moment, there will be a special guest referee! Someone that the two of ye know very well!

Megan: Who could THAT be?!

Paul: It's either going to be Paul Bearer or the Undertaker!!

Morrigan: Ladies and gentlemen, please make welcome the special guest referee for this match... PETE ROSE!!!

Megan & Paul: O_O! O.o!! PETE ROSE?!!

Queen's "We Are The Champions" cues up as the former baseball legend, decked out in a referee's shirt, walks out to the stage, shaking Morrigan's hand before walking to the ring; Kane cocks his head curiously at this as Kaye shakes her head, hand to her palm.

Megan: Well, this is certainly something that Kane nor Kaye never saw coming!

Paul: Pete Rose!!! For three Wrestlemanias straight this poor poor man had to endure savage beatings at the hands of Kane! And perhaps Kaye as well! Well Pete Rose is back! And this time, it's PERSONAL!!!

Megan: ... Oy.

Megan: Kaye and Kane tie-up... Kaye with a kick to Kane's gut! LIFTING CHOKEHOLD! NO, KANE KICKS KAYE IN THE CHEST AND SHE LETS HIM GO! Kaye staggers! OH, THROAT THRUST BY KANE! CLUB TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! KAYE'S STAGGERING!! BOOT TO THE FACE!! AND... REVERSE BRAINBUSTER BY KANE! Whoa, and Kaye sits back up!

Paul: Call me crazy but I think we'll be seeing a lot of that from both competitors.=p

Megan: Kaye side-steps a lunge! Grabs Kane and whips him to the corner! Follows up-- CLOTHESLINE!! Kane's the one who staggers now... Kaye picks up a steel chair-- WHACKED IT RIGHT INTO KANE'S BACK!!!

Paul: It's not one of the special Japanese Hard Core Style chairs, though!

Megan: You're right! Kane just no sold it! He turns to face Kaye! And-- OHH!!

Paul: Right in the cahones!!

Megan: No way you can no sell that kick! And Kaye goes down on Kane! MULTIPLE PUNCHES TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Kaye now goes to set up... ohmiGod...

Paul: Kaye with one of the barbed wired-wrapped tables!!! Ohhh, this is gonna be brutal!!

Megan: But Kane gets up! He grabs Kaye from behind! SHORT ARM... TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!! Kane goes to pick Kaye up--NO, KAYE COUNTERS SHE'S UP! AND-- OH MY DEAR LORD!!!

Paul: KAYE JUST CLOTHESLINED THE VIOLENT REACTOR RIGHT INTO THAT LETHAL TABLE OF DEATH!!!

Megan: Pete Rose now administering the ten count...

1 . . . 2 . . . 3--

Megan: Kane sits up! His body's lacerated, but he's still in this fight! Kaye grabs him.. Irish whip--no, Kane reverses! Into the corner! And Kane... OHH! KANE SLAMS KAYE'S HEAD INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!! Kaye's struggling to get up... Kane picks her up! WAIT, KAYE REVERES WITH A HAMMERLOCK! NoW A FIREMAN'S CARRY! KANE'S UP QUICKLY! CLOTHESLINE BY THE BIG RED MACHINE!! And how he's getting a weapon ready... oh, man... that chair, it... it's got nails embedded in it!!

Paul: Oh, this doesn't bode well for Kaye!

Megan: KANE SWINGS! NO, KAYE DUCKS! THANK GOD!! KAYE KICKS THE CHAIR OUT OF KANE'S HANDS! KANE GRABS KAYE THOUGH-- SIDEWALK SLAM!! PETE ROSE COUNTS!

1 . . . 2 . . . 3--

Megan: KAYE SITS UP! AND--AH, KANE KICKS HER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Pick up by Kane... and a scoop slam back down!! Kane now... ohh, now he goes for another one of those hellish tables! Barbed wired, like the other weapons, but... oh, God... he's spread thumbtacks over it now!!

Paul: A page out of Mick Foley's Book of Hardcore!!

Megan: Kaye's up! But Kane kicks her in the head again! And picks her up from behind! Oh my God... a repeat of the Kane/BeeGee match coming?!

Paul: Say goodbye to those bountiful bouncing breasts of Kaye's!!

Megan: NO! KAYE DELIVERS A LOW BLOW TO KANE!! KAYE GRABS HIM-- SNAPMARE-- RIGHT ONTO THAT THUMBNAIL COVERED BARB WIRED TABLE!!!!!!! KANE'S IN PAIN!!! AND PETE ROSE BEGINS TO COUNT!!!

1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5--

Megan: KANE SITS UP!!!!

Paul: NO F'N WAY!!

Megan: Kaye steps back, measuring the bleeding Kane up... and RUNNING ELBOW STRIKE--NO!!!! KANE THROWS KAYE RIGHT INTO THAT BARBED WIRE WRAPPED ELECTRIFIED CAGE!!!!!!!

Paul: That can't be good.

Megan: Kaye's literally smoking!! She's staggering... and KANE WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!! Kane... wait, Kane's unwrapped some of the barbed wire from the remains of one of the tables! What's he going to do?

Paul: Whatever it is, it's not going to be pretty!

Megan: Kane goes on top of Kaye for a camel clutch and-- OH-- OHHHH!!!!!!!! *Megan covers her chest in sympathy pain*

Paul: HOLY CRAP!! KANE IS USING THE BARBED WIRE AS LEVERAGE RIGHT ACROSS KAYE'S BREASTS!!! THAT EVIL, DECAYING MIND OF KANE IS WORKING OVERTIME!! MY, GOD! THE METAL BURROWING DEEP IN THE SOFT FLESH OF KAYE'S BOSOMS--

Megan: PAUL!! I happen to have "bosoms" too, okay?! Yeesh, Kane's going all out to punish Kaye tonight!!! God... Kane's finally released Kaye from that horrific hold... pulling Kaye up and-- BACK DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!

1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6--

Megan: Kaye SLOWLY sits up! God... pride is all but running her here, keeping her going!! She won't lose to Kane here tonight!

Paul: And at the same token Kane won't stop fighting!

Megan: Kane grabs Kaye and picks her up... and-- RUNNING POWERSLAM-- OHH! RIGHT INTO THOSE THUMBTACKS!!!!! Kane's not done, though... picking Kaye up... DDT!!!

1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6--

Megan: NO! KAYE IS STILL GETTING UP!!! Kane grabs her... no, Kaye ducks! AND VICIOUS CLOTHESLINE BY THE HOT PINK MACHINE!!!! BUT KANE GETS UP! Kaye grabs him up... SCOOP SLAM! BUT KANE STILL gets up!!! Kaye's getting fustrated... and she's in excruciating pain! She grabs Kane... shortarm into... TILT-A-WHIRL SIDESLAM!!! Kaye staggers back... she's hugging her chest in pain... God, and Kane just sat back up! o_o;; Kaye is getting angry... she grabs Kane--NO! KANE COUNTERS AND THERE'S THE SHOULDERBREAKER!!! Both Kane and Kaye are a bloody mess... my God, but but they're not stopping!! Kane grabs Kaye! THROAT TOSS!!! GOD, RIGHT INTO THE CAGE!!! AND KAYE'S GETTING ELECTROCUTED AGAIN!!!!!

Paul: Now I'm smelling bacon. o_o;;

Megan: Kaye collapses to the mat, but Kane picks her up! GORILLA PRESS SLAM!! BACK INTO THE CAGE!?!?! COME ON!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!

Paul: I don't think that's the case for Kane!

Megan: Kane picks Kaye up... AND GRABS HER!! SETS HER UP-- CHOKESLAM!!!!! MY GOD! STAY DOWN, KAYE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STAY DOWN!!

1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . 7 . . . 8--

Megan: KAYE'S GETTING UP!!! MY GOD!! HASN'T SHE SUFFERED ENOUGH?!! Kane goes to Kaye and grabs her-- WAIT!!! KAYE GRABS KANE!!! OHHH, SNAPBACK POWERBOMB RIGHT INTO THE CAGE!!! SHE JUST DESTROYED THE CAGE!!! KANE'S JERKING FROM THE ELECTRICITY!!! Kaye climbs out and calls for the ring crew to shut the power to the cage off! What's she gonna do here?! She... she's got Kane and she's... she's climbing the cage with Kane in tow!!!

Paul: Incredible! With the strength Kaye's got and the injuries she's sustained?! That's amazing!!

Megan: They're up on the cage now! Kaye's grabbed Kane by the throat! She's... oh God, she's looking straight down at us!!

Paul: She's not going to-- oh, S**T SHE IS!!!

Megan: LOOK OUT BELOW!!!!!

And Kaye delivers the BIGGEST chokeslam off the cage right into the announcers' table as Megan and Paul take cover!!! 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . .

Megan: Are we on?! My God! I... I can't believe what we've seen!! Kane and Kaye are down!! And referee Pete Rose is counting away! We might have a double count out!

4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . 7

Paul: Wait!! They're getting up!!! Kaye's getting up faster though!!

8 . . .

Megan: NO!! WAIT!! ARIEL!! ARIEL'S HERE!! SHE JUST LEAPT OUT OF THE CROWD!!!!

9 . . .

Megan: CUTE CAT MAT SLAM-- ON KAYE?!!!

Paul: SHE'S JUST ATTACKED HER OWN MOTHER!!

10!!!

Megan: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!! ARIEL JUST COST KAYE THE MATCH!!!! KANE WINS THE LAST EVER HELL'S ASYLUM MATCH!!!!

Winner: Kane

Megan: I'm in shock!! And so is Kaye!! She's hurt badly, so is Kane! Christina's rushing to Kane's side and Sasori to Kaye's! All four are looking to Ariel! She's on the stage... she just said something to them... I think she said... "I'm sorry." Now she just leapt back into the crowd and... she's gone!

Paul: Well, the little rug-cat did say she planned on stopping the fighting! Was this it?!

Megan: Apparently... well, we have to ta short break to clean this mess up... we'll be right back!!

--

"Bodies" cues up once again, and out come Deadly Extremity, in a bit of pain from what happened earlier.

Capetta: The Following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the MPRW Mountaineer Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, representing Generation-NEXT...from Los Angeles, California and at a total combined weight of 261 pounds...Frosti, Savvy...collectively known as Deadly Extremity!

Before the announcers can say anything, "Nobodies" cues up over the speakers, and to an impressive amount of crowd support out come the Girls of Goth, with their managers.

Capetta: And their opponents, being accompanied to the ring by Lilith Aensland and Viki Greene...from Roswell, New Mexico at a total combined weight of 272 pounds...they are the MPRW Mountaineer Tag Team Champions...Sin...Shade...Collectively known as the Girls of Goth!

Heyman: And might I say, those two look as natural naked as they do clothed.

Megan: Only you would say something like that Paul. And this is a high-stakes match...if Deadly Extremity win this match, then...David Flair will be the EAW Commissioner.

Paul: Yaaaaaaaaay!! FINALLY that stuck-up biased Morrigan will be tossed out onto her plush buttocks, and we'll have a real, worthwhile commissioner.

Megan: But, if Deadly Extremity lose, then David's MRPW Regional Heritage Title and referee's license will be on the line in his match with Bret Hart.

Paul: Definitely NOT good.

Megan: The Gothic Twosome in the ring now, and this match is underway!

*ding, ding*

(Author's Note: Due to a lot of personal problems, this match will be in extended summary form.)

The match starts off with Sin and Savvy in the ring, working away at each other. Sin tries to fight a fair match for the first few moments, but that changes when Savvy rakes Sin's eyes. She tags in her sister Frosti and the two start to double team on Sin like crazy, finishing off the double team with a nicely placed double clothesline. Frosti goes in for a cover, but only gets a two count.

Frosti isn't that concerned with it though, as she grabs at Sin's throat, choking at her, letting go after a bit though. Sin holds her throat in pain, as Frosti walks over to her, stepping on her throat as she goes over to her corner, tagging in Savvy again, who drops an elbow right into the gut of Sin, going for another cover, but only getting a two count once again.

Frosti and Savvy keep on working over Sin for a while, until a missed High-Risk move by Savvy causes Sin to get a bit of an advantage, as she tags in her sister Shade. Shade comes in like a house of fire, pummeling away at both members of Deadly Extremity. Once Shade knocks Savvy out of the ring, she lifts up Frosti...and Sin comes in...for a move that looks like a mix of the Dudley Death Drop and a DDT. Frosti is planted with that move, and Shade goes for a cover, but Savvy manages to make it back in the ring in time to rescue her.

The match breaks down into an all out brawl between the 2 teams, and apparently none of them know who is legal and who is not. That is, until Frosti tries to get a pin on Sin, but the referee doesn't count. After Shade plants Savvy with a nicely placed superkick, she taps Frosti on the shoulder...and as she turns around, Sin gets her into a rear naked choke as Shade locks in a figure four. It takes a good while, but Frosti finally taps out.

Heyman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Megan: YES! Go GoG!

Capetta: The winners of this match...and STILL MRPW Mountaineer Tag Team Champions--Sin and Shade, the Girls of Goth!

Megan: And the GoG retain, meaning...of course...that David's likely to lose his refereeing license--to say nothing of his MPRW Regional Heritage Title.

Paul: Hmph...

Megan: Sin and Shade offering handshakes to their opponents--Deadly Extremity attacking the Girls of Goth--and I don't think they wanted them to put their hands there, instead.

Paul: Doesn't matter now, Deadly Extremity getting some retribution!

Megan: This is totally uncalled for.

But just then, from the back, Chaynz and Arianna appear, and rush the ring...

Megan: Deadly Extremity continuing to stomp at the Girls of Goth--bailing now as Chaynz and Arianna hit the ring, and clearly just a pair of sore losers.

Paul: They're overcome with grief about being screwed out of the titles--YOU'D BE UPSET TOO!!

Megan: I'm not even going to ask how you seem to think they were screwed out of the titles.

The camera fades on a show of unity between the GoG and their managers in the ring, along with Chaynz and Ari.

---

"My Way" cues up as one David Flair strides purposefully down the ramp, Kelly at his side and a smug grin on his face. The crowd reaction's pretty damn pissy, but Flair just takes it in stride. In fact, he calls for a mike, seemingly ready to remind the fans just who he really is...

And before he can utter a word, "One Step Closer" cuts him off as Bret Hart charges the ring! Kelly gets the hell outta Dodge and David flips the mike away before he's tackled off of his feet and the fight begins!

Bret lays into Flair with a few punches... then open-hand slaps Flair HARD in the chest, drawing a "WHOOOOO!" from the crowd, a grimace from Flair and a grin from the Hitman. He finally lets Flair up and waves him on in, ready for way. Flair looks at Bret like he's insane... and instead charges in, clocking Bret in the midsection with his knee. With Bret stunned, Flair backs him into a corner and goes to work with the rights, landing a few before yanking down Hart's singlet top and CRACKING Hart across the chest with a painful-sounding knife-edge chop! Flair whips Hart, only to have the whip reversed, slamming chest-first into the turnbuckle... and Hart BEHEADS Flair with a lariat from behind. Hart looks down... grins, and grabs at Flair's legs, but Flair desperately scrambles to the ropes before Hart can lock in the Sharpshooter.

Letting go, Hart back up, waiting... and Flair pops up and charges Hart again, ducking the expectant Hart's punch and countering with a quick rollup... that only gets a one-count! Hart breaks free and glares at Flair... who waves Hart on this time! Hart's quick to get on his feet... and both men tie up, Hart quickly gaining control and wringing Flair's arm... only to have Flair counter-wring... and only to counter the counter before laying Flair out with the Hart Attack and holding there for... a near-two count! Flair kicks away and goes outside to reconsider things... and Hart readily follows and gives chase! The ref's focused on telling Flair to fight straight-up... leaving his focus off of Hart and Kelly, as she steps in the way and SMACKS the Hitman across the face with a slap! It doesn't stun him much, but it does distract him... and Flair shoulderblocks Hart into the STEEL STEPS! A follow-up headsmash into the steps follows, and Flair rolls hart on into the ring before climbing up... and slingshotting off of the top rope and hitting a WICKED guillotine legdrop for... two!

Hart kicks out and shakes it off, while Flair moves in to press the attack... they tie up, and Flair whips Hart off of the ropes... and doubles him over with a questionably legal forearm to the lower extremities! Flair up... and hits the EAW Pride! Up... and signalling for the figure-four... and gets COUNTERED, Hart kicking him away and into the corner! Hart up... and a HARD corner-trap clotheslinf follows.... along with a series of headbutts to the gut! Hart sets Flair onto the turnbuckle, quickly climbs up and... gets pushed off as he attempts the superplex! Flair climbs up fully... crotchchops and goes for a frogsplash... that hits nothing but KNEE.

Both men taking a little time to rise, but Hart gets to his feet first. He looks back, then runs to the ropes bouncing off... and getting tripped up by Kelly! More insulted than injured, Hart glares back at her... giving Flair the prefect opportunity to connect with a baseball slide that send Hart tumbling out of the ring! Flair follows... and sets Hart back-first on the apron before bringing on the chops, easily turning Hitman's chest lobster-red. After a few hard chops, Flair whips Hart back into the ring, following quickly. He quickly drops an elbow on Hart's knee and wrenches in a leglock, making Hart struggle to break free. After a bit, he lets go and grabs Hart by the hair, making a show of smacking him across the face a few times. Finally, Flair just gets tired of that, whips Hart to the ropes and waits... to get suplexed! Hart on his feet... and grinning as Flair stands, slipping his forearm and countering with the side russian legsweep! And.... a backbreaker! Hart going up top... all the way up top, his attempted Sharp Injection... MISSING as Flair rolls to the outside, clutching his back... and going for his title belt! Hart waving Flair in... daring him to take a shot! And Flair's in... the ref's trying to take the belt, but Flair pushes him off and goes to take a swing at Hart... but misses! Hart retaliates with a HUGE german suplex... and grins as he floats over and reaches for Flair's legs! Flair struggling... but unable to stop the Hitman as he locks in the Sharpshooter! Flair lasts all of three seconds before he starts tapping like a maniac!

... but Kelly's distracting the ref with the old tits-and-ass trick! Flair's tapping, Hart's grinding in the hold, and the ref doesn't notice at all! Finally, Hart notices that there's no bell and slacks up just enough for Flair to get away... but ignores Flair completely as he TAGS Kelly right in the face! While the ref admonishes him for that... Flair's got his belt again, and CREAMS Hart, earning himself an instant DQ. MO"The winner, by disqualification... Bret "Hitmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan" HAAAAAAAART!

Naturally, the ref gives Flair hell, but he looks more concerned about Kelly than anything. As he's about to step out of the ring... Hart gets a hand on his shoulder, whips him around, and TEARS Flair's head off with a forearm before locking in the Sharpshooter AGAIN, match bedamned! The ref tries to break it up, and the bell rings like crazy, but to no avail. After a good minute or so of watching Flair squeal like a pig, Hart finally lets go, looks down at Flair... and spits on him before heading out, hand held high as the crowd gives him one hell of a pop.

**Ad Break**

Megan: Well people, it's almost time for an Extreme Match with tough implications behind it.

Heyman: One a former hero, fighting to prove his place. The other, a current hero trying to defend the honor of innocents. Both are about to rock the world with the most brutal, devastating Extreme match in history!

Megan: And here to watch on for this match, is Calypso's daughter herself, Crysta!

The camera pans over to slightly next to the announcer's table, where we see Crysta, in a suit, looking on with a clipboard.

Heyman: She's one of the only women I know that makes a business suit look DAMN good.

Megan: Mind your manners, Paul.

Heyman: Right…Hurricane and Nova…this should be good.

Megan: Hurricane and Nova both want to win for their own separate reasons…so lets get things underway.

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is an Extreme Match, scheduled for one fall with NO time limit!

"Conflict" By Disturbed cues up first, and out comes the former hero himself, carrying an oil-drum full of weapons.

Capetta: Introducing first, from Silicon Valley, standing 5'11" tall and weighing in at 220 pounds….Novaaaaa!

Heyman: And apparently Nova coming for bear for this match! Look at the kind of stuff coming out of that oil drum!

Megan: Perfect Pancake…choke chain, rake and garden hoe, large batteries…X-Box. Yep, all a bunch of junk.

Heyman: You forgot to mention the Hurricane action figure there too.

Megan: Well, unlike all the other things, that might actually be worth something. It's definitely worth more than the X-Box.

After a bit…

STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!

Instead of "Dare" cueing up though, "Hurricane" by Bush cues up, and the Hurricane rushes to the ring, a few weapons of his own strapped to his body, including a Captain America shield, a wooden baseball bat, a hockey stick, lead pipes on each arm, a pair of pliers on his left leg, and a hammer on his right. He rushes to the ring, leaping up while putting the shield right on his arm, diving right at Nova's head.

Megan: AND WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Heyman: Hurricane with the first blow, and he's ready to show that he…IS extreme!

Megan: Hurricane using that shield against Nova's head now, whipping him off the ropes, DIVING SHIELD SMASH! Early cover….two count only.

Heyman: Even without his powers, Nova is still a tough individual, and you're not gonna beat him with just that.

Megan: Hurricane looking ready though, tossing the shield right at Nova's gut…Nova sidestepping…using the first thing he can grab…the Hurricane action figure.

Heyman: Interesting choice of weaponry there, but apparently it caught Hurricane off guard. Nova going off the ropes now, swinging neckbreaker on Hurricane!

Megan: Nova not going for a cover though, going off the ropes…HURRICANE WITH THE LEAD PIPES TO NOVA'S GUT! Hurricane had those right away ready for bear.

Heyman: A smart move by the super-hero, tossing the one of the pipes away now…setting Nova up…ATOMIC DROP on the pipe!

Megan: Hurricane off the ropes now, leaping into a Diamond Dust! Cover by Hurricane, Nova rolling into a cover of his own…2 count.

Heyman: Still too early in this war of the Super Powered duo for a pinfall now, but they aren't about to stop. Megan: Nova slow to get on his feet, Hurricane up first right now, going in…caught in the face with a battery! Nova using the batteries from his oil drum as throwing weapons!

Heyman: Nova trying to use everything in his arsenal to try to prove himself over Hurricane. Taking one of those batteries now…jabbing Hurricane in the eye with it.

Megan: Hurricane holding his eye now, obviously in pain and vision blocked…Nova going in…Spin Doctor by Nova. Cover.

One

.

.

.

TWO

.

.

.

Kickout by Hurricane.

Heyman: Nova trying to end the match early on apparently, trying to prove that he truly is better than this recent hero is. He's got that chain now, wrapping it around Hurricane's neck…MODIFIED STF!

Megan: Nova choking Hurricane with that chain now in that STF…he's trying to choke the life out of Hurricane. Hurricane reaching out….is he trying to get the ropes?

*KRACK!*

Heyman: No, apparently he was reaching for a weapon, as he cracks Nova right between the eyes with that baseball bat.

Megan: Nova letting go of that hold from that, rolling to the outside of the ring now…

Heyman: A good strategy by Nova, going outside that ring to get some rest and rethink his game-plan.

Megan: Look at Hurricane though…off the ropes…Swanton over the top rope…but Nova with that Oil Drum right to the back of Hurricane!

Heyman: Nova knows where he is at all times in this type of match…and teaching Hurricane the way of extreme!

Megan: Nova now reaching into the ring, he grabs that garden hoe…right across Hurricane's back. Grabbing the rake now…going again…kick to the gut by Hurricane…taking the rake now…ugh..

Heyman: Hurricane showing his extreme side as he grinds that rake right across the face of Nova…and Nova is now busted open!

Megan: Hurricane taking advantage of Nova being distracted, quickly getting in a nicely placed DDT on the floor. Hurricane going under the ring for something…pulls out…a long lead pole.

Heyman: Hurricane swinging that pole right against Nova's back…now taking the pole…the hell?

Megan: Well, apparently using a bit of his super strength to bend the pole against his throat. Un-bending it now…tossing it away, and tosses Nova back into the ring.

Heyman: Even in the Alliance days, I have NEVER seen Hurricane so vicious than he is in this match. Hurricane getting into the ring now, going off the ropes…running 450 misses, and Hurricane lands face first on the canvas.

Megan: Nova getting a little bit of a reprieve here as he gets up to his feet…picking up…the X-Box it seems. Hurricane up to his feet now…Nova cracks that X-Box right against Hurricane's skull!

Heyman: Nova showing EXTREME strength picking up that X-Box. If THAT doesn't keep Hurricane down, NOTHING will.

Megan: Nova with a cover…

One

.

.

.

TWO

.

.

.

Kickout by Hurricane!

Heyman: Holy sh*t! Hurricane is one durable bastard! Nova is shocked at this, but not about to give up yet!

Megan: Nova going to the outside of the ring…what's he getting?

Heyman: It looks like…yes, it's a blowtorch!

Megan: OK, I know it's an extreme match, but isn't that going a bit far?

Heyman: Not as far as Nova's concerned.

Megan: Nova grabbing that Perfect Pancake he brought with him into the ring…clamping it against Hurricane's face! And now…the blowtorch to Hurricane's body!

Heyman: Both Hurricane and Nova being the most vicious they have ever been in their entire career, and I for one am glad to see it happen!

Megan: Nova finally letting up now, and taunting to the crowd…Hurricane rolling to get the fire out…

Heyman: Take a look though, his costume is none the worse for wear! Must be fireproof…but his mask!

Megan: Hurricane's mask is cracked a bit…and…it falls off!

Heyman: …it can't be! Gregory Helms is the Hurricane?

Megan: Like you didn't know, Paul. Hurricane looking extremely angry now…Nova turning to face him…Hurricane starting a slugfest with Nova now! Nova trying to fight back, Hurricane behind Nova…HAMMER TO THE BACK OF NOVA!

Heyman: Nova's body has GOT to be racked with pain now, Hurricane taking those pliers off his boots now…LOCKS THEM ONTO NOVA! TESTICULAR CLAW WITH THOSE PLIERS! Ugh…I'm wincing just looking at that.

Megan: Hurricane knowing the weakest point in Nova's armor, and utilizing that knowledge to his advantage. Nova surprisingly not giving up though…elbow smashes to Hurricane's exposed face…and one to Hurricane's arms now, thus breaking the hold.

Heyman: Nova still in a lot of pain though, one has to wonder how much that Testicular Claw took out of him.

Megan: Hurricane tossing the pliers out of the ring now, taking the hockey stick and crotches Nova with it, followed by a nicely placed dropkick!

Heyman: Hurricane with a cover…and one second away, ONE SECOND AWAY from beating Nova!

Megan: Look at this though, Nova trying to get away apparently…Hurricane going back outside the ring though, following him…Nova taking those ring steps and smacks Hurricane right into the stomach with them. Nova going back under the ring…grabbing something…what is that?

Heyman: That's an electronic grappling hook! Nova shooting it…towards the top of the Jumbotron! I think that Nova has plans for Hurricane up there…as he grabs him as he retracts the hook.

Megan: This is getting dangerous for both superstars right now, as both Hurricane and Nova up almost 50 or 70 feet into the air.

Heyman: This is almost reminding me of the ECW days. All we need is New Jack in the ring again and everything will be perfect.

Megan: Hurricane starting to stir as they get to the top, Nova unaware of it as he points to the ground below…turning towards Hurricane…who grabs his throat!

Heyman: Uh oh, I think I know what's about to happen, and it's NOT gonna be good for Nova.

Megan: Nova fighting out, back-flipping behind Hurricane now…trying for a neckbreaker…broken up though…EYE OF THE HURRICANE!

Heyman: But there is no referee for the count. Hurricane making a move there that possibly could have cost him.

Megan: Hurricane not going for a cover anyway, he's looking at Nova, then looking out there…raising his hand into the air!

Heyman: Holy shit, he can't be serious about what he's thinking of doing, is he?

Megan: He is…grabbing Nova by the throat now…lifting him up…CHOKESLAM OFF THE JUMBOTRON!

Crowd: HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!

Heyman: And I concur with these fans! Hurricane has just obliterated Nova with that move there! And…oh no.

Megan: Hurricane about to put his life on the line right now in this move…diving after Nova…SHOOTING STAR PRESS FROM THE TOP! But Hurricane hurt himself on that one too.

Heyman: Hurricane risked his life just to get a win over Nova, and that possibly could ultimately cost him.

Megan: The referee looking now…both fighters are on their back on the floor…but Hurricane crawling over now…and drapes an arm onto Nova!

One

.

.

.

TWO

.

.

.

Kickout by Nova!

Heyman: Unbelievable! Nova just did the impossible and kicked out of a fall from the top there!

Megan: Hurricane and Nova both in pain here…I'm not sure if either one can continue…wait a second…they're BOTH starting to get up to their feet!

Heyman: Look at the endurance of both Hurricane and Nova there! Neither one backing off, neither one wants to be defeated here.

Megan: Nova moving in…swing of the fist…Hurricane ducks…grabbing Nova…HURRIBREAKER!

Heyman: That has to be it! Nova should be out…but Hurricane unable to make a cover.

Megan: Those last few hits have taken a lot out of both Hurricane and Nova now. Hurricane reaching over now…finally getting the cover onto Nova.

One

.

.

.

TWO

.

.

.

Kickout by Nova again! Heyman: Unbelievable endurance by Nova here! If either of these athletes make it out of this match with their careers intact, they will be known as two of the toughest wrestlers in EAW today!

Megan: Hurricane going to his feet again, using the barricade to crawl back to the ring…Nova doing the same thing, both athletes breathing heavily and sweating profusely.

Heyman: This is crunch time. Whoever gets the next move in will most likely be the winner of this match.

Megan: Both Hurricane and Nova now crawling into the ring…both slow to get to their feet…Hurricane in the corner…Nova rushes in!

Heyman: That could be the one distraction that Nova needs. Pulling Hurricane out of the corner…KRYPTONITE CRUNCH!

Megan: That's got to be it. Cover…

One

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TWO

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Kickout by Hurricane! I can't believe it!

Heyman: Is their any way either person can get a win in this match?

Megan: I'm not sure…but Nova now in on Hurricane…locking in another STF. But Hurricane isn't even moving right now.

Heyman: Hurricane is out cold apparently…Nova barely in himself.

Megan: The referee checking…and the bell rings! Nova lets go, collapsing himself…and the referee raising his hand!

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen…your winner by a knock-out…Nova!

Everyone in the crowd stands on their feet…some booing, but most people applauding.

Megan: These two men gave you everything in their bodies…and possibly even their souls, for this match. And neither man gave up at any time during that match.

Heyman: And if you thought that was a war, wait till you see our next two matches!

Megan: That's right! Stay tuned folks, there's still more to come!

---

************ Megan: Well, Heyman, ready for your dose of mindless, hateful violence?

Heyman: Am I ever?! It's pretty simple. Lance hates Trips, Trips hates Lance. And the two of them are going to kick the meat out of each other, before a liiiiiiiive audience! All they need now are some lions and some ladies in chainmail bikinis!

Megan: ... stop looking at me like that.

Heyman: Well, I *wasn't* thinking you, now... although now than you mention it...

Megan: One more word, Heyman...

Heyman: Heyheyhey... all you had to say, doll. Yeesh, you're tightly wound.

Megan: Honestly, with the past month or so of my life, can you blame me?

"Primal Concrete Sledge" announces the arrival of perhaps one of the most hated men in the EAW, Hera alongside him as he takes his time, game face on and fists clenched.

"The following grudge match is for one fall... introducing first, being accompanied by Hera... from Greenwich, Connecticut, weighing in at 250 pounds... Hunter Hearst Heeeeeeeeeeeeelmsley!"

Heyman: And The Decadent looks pumped! I can imagine he's got images of him ramming his fist down Storm's nasty Canadian throat!

Megan: Have you noticed that Hera's here, Heyman? You KNOW she won't approve if Trips decides to play dirty pool with Storm...

Heyman: What other kind of pool DOES Triple H know how to play? He's a real contender for the Second Dirtiest Player In the Game title, along with good ol' David Flair.

Megan: Who can't seem to get through the day without somehow twisting things his way. Even still, at least he's not an official referee anymore.

"Oh Canada" drowns out "Sledge", and Storm makes his way to the top of the ramp, mike in hand. Trips looks none too pleased, but holds his ground.

Storm: If I could be serious for a mom--no. Forget that. We both know why we're here, Triple H. So let's just get this overwith. Although... I can promise you one thing. When I'm done with you, and when all the people here get to see me put you away for good... don't blame Canada. Blame yourself.

Heyman: And heeeeeeeeeeeeere comeeeeeeeeeeees Stormiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie! Ring the bell, it's time for a bloodbath!

Megan: Hunter stomping at Storm as he slides into the ring... beating back Lance... and forcing him into the corner... and he starts laying into Lance with Flair-caliber chops! And the crowd's doing the usual "WOOOOOOOOOOO!"ing! Two... three... Lance ducks the fourth... SUPER-KICK puts Trips into the corner... and now it's Lance's turn to dish out the violence! Two chops... three! Four! And.... slap to the face! Lance grinning as he backs off... but Hunter's LIVID!

Heyman: And Lance is grinning... but we all know Hunter's gonna wipe that smirk offa Canada-boy's face like a Quebecker finishes off a plate of poutine!

Megan: Hunter charging forward... arm and collar tieup... and hunter SHOVES Lance to the ground, utilizing his greater strength. Storm up... another tie-up... and another shove! Lance looking miffed as he goes in for another... and Hunter SMACKS him across the face with an open-hand slap!

Heyman: Turnaround's a bitch, Lance m'boy! How's that sting?

Megan: And I think... Hunter's asking for a test of strength! Lance looking somewhat uneasy about that... but he takes the bait... one hand locked... two locked--KNEE to the gut from Trips to Storm... and a chin crusher to seal the deal! Hunter quickly mounting Storm and laying in those big right hands... and Lance turns things around with a leg-scissors, crushing the air out of Hunter! Hunter squirming like a worm on a hook... and finally gets Lance to let go... both men up...

Heyman: And let the asskicking commence!

Megan: Hunter and Lance meet dead center... and a tie-up... Lance in control with a headlock... grinding it in... and driving a fist into the top of Trip's head! Back... and a short wheel kick puts Hunter down! Lance following with a few stomps... and an elbowdrop! And now Lance slaps on a chinlock...

Heyman: REST HOLD! Storm's blown up already! He's gonna be easy pickings for Hunter now!

Megan: No, it's more a chinlock while he's sitting on Triple H's back... a quasi-camel clutch if you will! And Storm lets go... standing up and gloating over Hunter... and Hunter mule-kicks Lance RIGHT in the goodies!

Heyman: Now he's blown up and neutered! I'm telling ya, Hunter Hearst Helmsley is the greatest wrestler that's ever kicked Lance Storm in the doodads!

Megan: Storm easy prey as HHH stands and... TOWERING vertical suplex! Holds on... and Hunter DROP Lance onto the top rope stomach first!... Hunter rushing off the opposite rope... HIGH KNEE LIFT to the face sends Storm tumbling out of the ring! Hunter... not following, as Hera gives him a dirty look for some reason. Lance back in, shaking his head a bit... and Hunter's all over him like a cheap suit! Rights from Hunter.... and a whip off the rope... Hunter catches Lance in a sleeper---no! Sleeper *SUPLEX* sends Storm flying! He just yanked Storm up and over by his neck, and just about dropped him on his head!

Heyman: Well, they said it was a grudge match, and these two're already giving it to each other! Still, Trips is gonna win, hands down.

Megan: Trips lifting Storm... and putting him back down with a forearm to the back! Up... and another forearm! Up... and Trip---GOING FOR THE PEDIGREE---no! Falling tigerbomb! And Hunter leverages up for the pin!

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ONE!

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TW--slideout by Storm, but Hunter's not letting up! He's at Lance as he scrambles away... grabbing his leg and lifting... and Lance WHALLOPS Hunter with a back-heel enzuigiri! Hunter drops like an oak and Storm hefts himself to his feet, looking a little shaken up!

Heyman: Hey, ref! Hits with the heel are illegal! Didn't you know that?! DQ this piece of trash, pronto!

Megan: Lance pressing the advantage... hefting Hunter up... and lands a razor-sharp snap suplex... floats over... and a DOUBLE-BOOT FACEWASH. Ow, that hurt just to look at... and Lance is shrugging as Trips writhes in pain... no, wait! Lance has a handful of hair... dropkick to the face!

Heyman: That's illegal too! Dropkicks are illegal, dammit!

Megan: Since when? Lance... going up top! Waiting... waiting... Hunter's up, and here comes Lance! Missle dropkick--SWATTED ASIDE, and Lance crashes and burns! Hunter grabbing Lance by his EAR... and jawing away... BIG right puts Lance down! Picking him up again... and tosses him into the corner, following with a HARD clothesline... and a STIFF DDT to finish the combination! And... whoa... Trips going up top! Could he... INCOMING! Kneedrop HITS dead-center! Lance jerks like he's been shot and Trips goes for the pin! This could be all she wrote!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THRE--NO! Lance slips free!

Heyman: ONE! SECOND! AWAY! Shame he'll only be doing that once, Megan!

Megan: Oh, go back to fondling Lita's panties. Trips still grinning... and... setting Lance up... Lance fighting it... NO! Triple H has both arms... PEDIGREE! PEDIGREE! And that's got it be it! Hunter cockily rolling Lance over... lazy pin! He thinks he's got this one in the bag!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THREE---NO! NO! NO! Lance with a foot on the ropes, somehow! Triple H is all over the ref and he looks PISSED! Ref pointing to the ropes and to his EAW patch... and Hunter just goes to get Storm again... going for the Pedigree again and--LANCE SLAMS HIS HEAD INTO TRIPLE H'S AREA! Hunter's eyes look like they're going to pop out of his head... and Storm with a burst of energy! Kick to the gut... DEEP IMPACT! AND DOWN GOES HUNTER! Storm covers!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THREE--NO! Now Hunter with HIS foot on the ropes! And... Storm shaking his head in disgust... standing up and getting his bearings, while Hunter rolls over, still stunned from the Deep Impact!

Heyman: C'mon, c'mon! Get up, Hunter! You got this! He's nothing!

Megan: Hunter on his hands and knees... and Lance going for a kick-CAUGHT! Hunter dropping Lance to the ground... and cinching in the FIGURE-FOUR! THERE'S GOT TO BE NO WAY FOR LANCE TO ESCAPE... and his shoulders fall for a one-count! Hunter grinding in the submission hold... and Lance's shoulders fall AGAIN! Ref counts.... a LONG two! Lance... Lance strugging... fighting for the ropes... and Hunter's doing everything he can to pull in the opposite direction and keep Lance from reaching them... Lance is so close, but he looks like he's gonna----WHAT THE?! LANCE WITH A SUDDEN SWITCH IN DIRECTION---AND HE'S GOT HUNTER OFFGUARD AND ON HIS STOMACH! LANCE REVERSING THE HOLD--CANADIAN MAPLELEAF! KNEE DRIVEN INTO HUNTER'S SPINE AS HE LOCKS THE HOLD IN! HUNTER STRUGGLING...

Heyman: AND THAT'S AN ILLEGAL MOVE, TOO!!!

Megan: Hunter... Hunter.... HUNTER TAPS! HUNTER TAPS! AND A WELL-FOUGHT VICTORY GOES TO STORM!

"The winner, by submission.... LANCE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!"

"Oh Canada" fires up as Storm drags himself up and away from Triple H, shaking his head disdainfully before hobbling away, Triple H looking back at Storm with hate-filled (and pain-filled) eyes, a hand to his back... and then we cut to commercial. Yay.

--

Megan: ....And we're back! Up next everyone, it is time for the main event, with--

Paul: MYOLYMPICHERO...versus some other guy..

Megan: Your praise for the challenger is underwhelming. :P

Paul: He won some battle royale...BIG DEAL...it isn't a gold medal.

Megan: And gold medals have NO bearing on title shots in EAW, so GET A CLUE, Paul...

Paul: Yeesh...

Megan: I'm not having a good day, Paul...anyhow...

"There's a Fire In the House" by Steve Vai cues up..

Capetta: Ladies and gentlemen...up next is your MAIN EVENT for the evening, and is it for the EAW World Heavyweight Championship!! Introducing first, the challenger...Accompanied by his enforcer, Eighteen, he stands 6'2" and weighs in at 235 pounds. From Mars, Pennsylvania--"Code Red" Michael Connelly!

The crowd cheers as Michael makes his way out.

Paul: Yay, jump for joy, throw confetti in the air...we're seen the chump, now where's the champ?

Michael walks out from the back in full ring gear...lagging behind, and looking about as excited as she always is, is Eighteen.

Paul: Geez, why's she always bummed out? Did Gero forgot to give her a way to smile or something?

Megan: Well...she is usually rather...stoic. But the matter at hand is rather serious for her...Eighteen taking her place at ringside as Michael gets inside the ring...and now...

"Gonna Fly Now" by Maynard Ferguson then cues up...

Paul: AT LAST!!!

Megan: Great...I know that Capetta's gotta have the words "EAW World Heavyweight Champion" almost choking him whenever he has to announce Angel...

Capetta: His opponent...and challenger...accompanied by his enforcer, Blink...he stands 6'2" and weighs in at 220 pounds. From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania...he is the defending EAW World Heavyweight Champion--KIRK...ANGEL!

Angel comes out with Blink, who looks about as thrilled as Eighteen...they lock eyes as Blink walks down the ramp, over to the other side of the ring.

Paul: Whoa...I know just how intense hatred between two females can get...but Eighteen looks about ready to tear her throat out.

Megan: Well...that would JUST about make them even...and I have the feeling that neither "enforcer" really cares that much about the persons they're in the corner of, but will certainly add an interesting bit of intrigue to this match. Stare down by champion and challenger now...*ding, ding*

Megan: Michael charging with a kick to the midsection of Kirk, suplex set up now--blocked--reversal by Angel--SNAP Suplex!! Michael up--forearm ducked--Michael slugging away with right hands...Irish Whip to the ropes--reversal by Kirk--Michael bounces off the ropes--scooped up by Kirk--front SLAM by Angel...hooks the leg...

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ONE!

Kickout!

Paul: Angel picking apart Michael here, and now...

"ANGEL LIKES FEET!! ANGEL LIKES FEET!!"

Megan: And the crowd trying to take Angel off his game here...with a chant that may or may not be true...

Paul: IT IS NOT!! Besides, why not tell Mikey that, we KNOW that's true. Of course...what do you expect? He was raised Catholic--he's BOUND to be a sexual deviant.

Megan: This from a guy with a panty fetish...MICHAEL sneaking up and a T-Bone suplex on Angel!! Angel back up...Michael to the ropes...hits a running dropkick on Angel. Michael now setting up Kirk--NO, Kirk countering with a...Northern Lights Suplex on Michael--getting up now...and a TOSSING Northern Lights Suplex! Kirk up now...Michael getting up...Kirk with HARD HARD right hand shots...hmm...with closed fists, Paul...

Paul: Today's an odd day, and everyone knows Olympians can use them in matches on days that fall on an odd date.

Megan: Speaking of odd dates, I pity any girl that goes out with you. Angel hooking the arms of Michael, and a FRONT TIGER SUPLEX by Angel takes him over, pick up again...ANOTHER ONE...hook of the leg by Angel, and...

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ONE!

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T--NO!

Paul: And Angel now with shots to the forehead now, and pulling up Michael by his pretty, pretty hair...snapmare takeover, and wrenching the neck now. Michael pulled back up--going for a jawbreaker--NO...backing Michael against the ropes--CHOPS by Angel...again...Irish Whip by Angel--Connelly against the ro--grabs them and hangs on--KICK to the side of Angel's head on the telegraph...set up by Connelly--DDT!!

Megan: Michael pulling up Angel...scoop and a slam...to the apron...Kirk up--CONNELLY COMET!! And a cover...hook of the leg.

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ONE!

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TWO!

Kickout!

Paul: And Angel valiantly kicking out, proving you can't keep a good man down! Michael going for an Irish Whip--reversal...Kirk sends Michael into the corner--quickly capitalizing...and a SUPERPLEX by Angel!! Floatover...

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ONE!

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TWO!

Kickout!

Megan: Michael kicking out at two, and Angel dragging Michael square to the corner...

Paul: The Olympic Hero is..well...GONNA FLY NOW!! ANGELSAULT on top of Michael!!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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NOOOOOO!!..but what a PERFECTLY executed moonsault by Angel--he could have been a gymnast if he didn't become a wrestler.

Megan: Angel sends Michael to the ropes--BELLY TO BELL--blocked by Michael--HEADBUTT--Michael now, with a BELLY TO BELLY suplex of his own!! And Angel down on the mat...Michael going up top now--and looks like he's going to try one of his own--MOONSAULT--Mutoh style--onto Angel!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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...And shoulder up!

Paul: Hmph...not a bad version, but Angel still does it better.

Megan: Michael pulling up--it pains me to say it--the champion, and tying up Angel into the ropes. Knees into the midsection--and a HIGH CRESCENT KICK across the side of the head by Michael! Michael now running towards the far ropes, rebounding now...

Paul: GORE!! GORE!!--NO! Angel swinging his legs forward and catching Michael with a HEADSCISSORS takedown--not for long though. Angel slugging away on Michael on the mat...

Megan: Angel yanking him up now--tossing him over the top ro--Michael grabbing the straps of the singlet, and TAKING KIRK TO THE OUTSIDE WITH HIM!

Paul: The ring couldn't possibly contain this match, so now it's spilled out to "Savage's playground."

"1"

Megan: And Kirk back up--STOMPING on the chest of Michael...

"2"

Paul: Ramming Michael's head into the ringpost now...set up...and...a BRAINBUSTER on the the outside!!

"3"

Michael in trouble now...especially after almost suffering a concussion rather recently. Angel now--pulling up the padding--he's going to for one on the concrete floor!

"4"

Paul: YES!! Angel--no, blocked by Connelly..reversal--VERTICAL SUPLEX ONTO THE FLOOR!!! And Angel making one of those rare, rare errors...

"5"

Megan: Considering that Angel's opponents usually get some momentum on him, I don't think you can say that...

"6"

Megan: Michael now setting up Kirk--BACKBREAKER on the outside, and Michael hammering away on the upper back of Kirk..ramming his head into our announce table...

"7"

Paul: STAY AWAY!! STAY AWAY!! Yo no hablo espanol!...oops.

Megan: Scoops and SLAMS him onto the table!! Michael going back into the ring...breaking the count...

"1"

Megan: Climbing onto the apron now--leaps off with a ELBOW across the sternum, shades of Randy Savage, and the impact knocking Angel off the table, but NOT through it.

Paul: *whew* Gracias...

"2"

Megan: Michael setting up Angel--seeming to go for a brainbuster of his own--NO! Angel landing behind--waistlock--GERMAN SUPLEX!! And Michael driven through the table!!

"3"

Paul: AHHHHHHH...careful Kirk, I'm rooting for YOU!!

Megan: But still holding onto the waist now...going for another--GERMAN SUPLEX!

"4"

Megan: Back up now, Angel looking for anoth--blocked by Michael--STUNNER!! STUNNER!! STUNNER!!...Blink looking on, and surprisingly has stayed out of the match thus far...

Paul: Of course, she doesn't need to--other than that little bit of offense, Angel's been dominating this match--just give him a minute to recoup...

Megan: Seemed pretty much even to me...but of course YOU'D be biased.

"5"

Paul: Angel and...his opponent...getting up now...brawling here on the outside...knee lift by Kirk--GUT WRENCH SUPLEX, and now..

"6"

Megan: Kirk grabbing the time-keepers chair...how shocking.

Paul: Hehehe...maybe going to offer Michael a seat...

"7"

Megan: Angel wielding that chair as Michael recovering--ducks the swing by Angel...Michael running up the stairs--leaping back kick off of it--NAILS ANGEL with the kick and smacks the chair into his face! Megan: Michael now grabbing a chair--and--STANDING MOONSA--Angel gets the knees up--although in this case that was NOT the wise thing to do...rare mistake, eh?

Paul: We all have off days...and Connelly pushing it with the use of that chair...and...NOOOOOOOOOOO!! Kirk's busted open!

An "M-A-C" chant starts up...

"8"

Paul: SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!

Megan: Michael back up, but getting low on energy now, grabbing Kirk--tossing him into the ring...back in himself...Angel trying to crawl away...but MICHAEL GRABBING HIM BY THE HEAD...and looking to polish off Angel...powerbomb set up...aaaaaaand...MACKNIFE POWERBOMB!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!!!

Paul: ....YES!! Angel's still got plenty left in him!! The champion has an unrivaled competitive spirit, Megan.

Megan: *gag* Michael back up, looking frustrated, and bringing Kirk back up to his feet--going for a sobat--blocked by Kick--REVERSE DRAGON SCREW!! And Kirk managing to whip that out just as he needed it...and sliding out for a breather...

Paul: No, he's dragging Michael by the ankle--slamming it into the ringpost!!

Megan: And, knowing Kirk, at this point he'll--

Paul: OOOOOOOOOOOH!! Michael crotched on the ringpost!

Megan: Can I call 'em or what? Kirk going back inside, and drops a knee across the forehead of Michael. Pulling him up into the corner...right hand shots by Angel. Michael whipped into the corner now...and Angel going up top...1...2...3...4...5...6...7--Michael blocking...setting up Kirk--SPIIIIIIIIIIIINEBUSTER!!! Michael with a high impact SUPERSPINEBUSTER!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT! And now Michael grabbing the ankles of Kirk...a high-angle crab, almost indentical to the Kumo No Amimono...

Paul: ...easy for you to say.

Megan: Michael looking to make Angel tap with this move...BUT ANGEL reaches the ropes!!

Paul: *whew* again...

Megan: Michael going for an Atomic--NO!--Angel blocks..knee lift...hoists him up..BLIZZARD SUPLEX...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

Paul: A SPLIT SECOND AWAY!!

Megan: Getting down to the nitty-gritty here, and it'll come to who can pull out that last bit of energy...Kirk setting up Michael--Fireman's Carry--Michael slips free, lands behind--Irish Whips Angel--Angel off the ropes--cross body--NO--Michael ducks! And Angel accidentally hits the referee!! Angel back up...Michael with a PILEDRIVER!!

Paul: Michael up...waiting for Angel to get to his feet--BLINK IN!!! Ready to take over without the re--

Megan: THRUST KICK by Blink!! Yeah...taking over...su--EIGHTEEN LEAPING..OVER AND INTO THE RING?! NECKBREAKER DROP ON BLINK!!

Paul: O_o ....Yeeh...holy Jehovah! WHAT IS SHE DOING?!

Megan: "Enforcing," I do believe...Eighteen picking Blink up...it looks like the T.S.F....Blink breaking free of her grasp--producing that metal bo--STRIKES EIGHTe....

Paul: Um...did she miss?!

Megan: No...direct hit...and more of them...but NO EFFECT AT ALL...I think if anything she's just denting the bo...and Blink backing away--outside of the ring now...

*BLINK!*

A transportal opens up behind Blink and out steps...

Megan/Paul: Blink?!!

Except this Blink is Exiles-Blink, wearing green and red while EAW-Blink is in black and purple. Blink bumps into Blink, stops, then turns to face her, eyes wide in shock! Then both Blinks start to trade punches! It looks like green-clad Blink is about to get the upper-hand on black-clad Blink until B-C Blink's eyes flash bright red and G-C Blink gets flung telekinetically against the stage!!

Megan: And...this is certainly surreal...almost like earlier in the evening when I was face to face with Maxie...

Eighteen goes to act, but gets thrown by the power of B-C Blink's mind too and she goes flying all the way on the opposite end of the arena into the cheap seats! As five other unknown people (the other Exiles... Mimic, Morph, Thunderbird, Sunfire, and Nocturne) rush to G-C Blink's aid B-C Blink turns to retreat, teleporting away with a *BLINK!*

Paul: ....WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?!

Megan: I'd say that Blink withdrew from her enforcer role for this match..which is STILL GOING ON IN THE RING--both men back up and slugging away at each other...Angel sends Michael to the ropes...back now--BELLY TO BELL--NO, blocked, Michael going behind--switch by Angel--GERMAN SUPLEXES MICHAEL OUT OF THE RING!!

Paul: Incredible!! And Angel heading outside of the ring...oh...it's over?

Megan: No, you dunce...that's not why he's grabbing that title belt...Michael getting up...SHOT TO THE HEAD by Kirk Angel!!! Angel dropping it now...and...CONDITION RED on the title belt by Kirk!!

Paul: And Kirk talking trash--"That's as close as you'll ever get!" Indeed...and Our Olympic Hero getting into the ring...

Megan: Not like--

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THREE!....damnit...

*ding, ding, ding*

Megan: And...Kirk...retains...

Paul: ....YES!! I knew he could do it!! He knew he could do it--but YOU DOUBTED HIM!

Megan: I doubted he could beat him fairly, so I stand not corrected, but proven. :P

Paul: The referee was out--it was LEGAL! Everything is legal when there is no one to enforce the rules--just was a very opportunistic move by Kirk.

The crowd boos and showers Kirk with trash as he stands up and celebrates...

Capetta: Here is your winner, and STILL EAW World Heavyweight Champion--Kirk Angel!

Megan: A sad day indeed...thank you for watching fans, and keep watching EAW...SOMEONE's going to dethrone Kirk, soon...

Paul: Poor Megan's delusional...well, GOOODNIGHT EVERYONE!

Fade...