Live from the MCI Center in Washington, DC!!
Tonight....EAW Aggression, only on Pay Per View!! The International Champion...Colley Dogstar...defends against the returning Kairi Lyger! Lyger has been European Champion before...one of the title's precursors. Defended it against all comers...can he claim the Television Title from the highly-decorated Dogstar?
Raven...Test. One's been born and bred to fight hardcore...being a pillar of ECW's rise to prominence. His fueds with Tommy Dreamer and the Sandman are legendly. Mysterious...with a threshhold of pain that seems to know no ends.
Test...a young up and coming star. One of the best "big men" in professional wrestling. A former Motley Crue bodyguard that got his professional start in the World Wrestling Federation as a Corporation lackey...now known for his brutal way of taking opponents apart in Extreme Matches. Can Raven claim the title...in EAW's first "Cell to Hell" match, or will Test retain...and will both make it out of tonight's event intact?
A self-claiming demon from hell...the only person that Mechius answers to. Lou Cypher...does this devil deserve any mercy?
"Code Red" Michael Connelly...defending EAW People's Champion...fighting for the love of his wife. Cypher trying to push the already vulnerable psyche of Black Widow to the breaking point...he revels in death and destruction. Liar, hypocrite, tool of evil all rolled into one....
Three teams...two pairs of veterans...one "wild card" pair. The Wildpack 2000 are perhaps the greatest tag team in the history of the EAW. Chainsaw...the most insane...extreme...brutal tag team the EAW has ever seen. And....Rash...and...Baby? A big mistake by the former Nitro Girl? Do they stand a chance of leaving uninjured...let alone with the tag team titles?
Finally...in the main event...
Sonnette is a prime example of a wrestle paying his...or in this case her...dues...working up to superstardom. Claiming the World Championship. Since winning the World Title on the 9th of February, Sonnette's gotten even more popular. However...it's former owner has returned to take it back...
"The Decadent" Hunter Hearst Helmlsey. Former 2 time World Heavyweight Champion. He and Sonnette share a common enemy in Lance Storm, but with that matter settled, and put aside, it's back to business. Back to one-on-one...with the title up for grabs...
"H/K (Hunter/Killer)" by Fear Factory goes off as the Aggression logo is displayed, and a highlight reel follows...
Opening fireworks for Aggression go off, and we find ourselves inside the MCI Center...
Megan: Welcome everyone!! Fans, critics, wrestlers and cable theives who happened to turn to this channel!
Flyboy: Remember...stealing cable is WRONG...plus it cuts into our profits! So pay for it ya cheap bums.
Megan: Indeed it does...but anyhow, welcome to a very special night here in EAW. I'm Megan Eko...one of your hosts for tonight...
Flyboy: And I'm the Flyboy...the greatest World Champion the EAW has ever seen...
Megan: Debatable...at any rate, we're ready to kick things off with a huge International Title Match!
"Awake" by Godsmack cues up...
Flyboy: Kairi Lyger challenging...you know what...he sure made a hell of a comeback...getting into a number one contendership match, then WINNING that match, now going on to get a title shot...if he wins this one, that has to be a record for a comeback. Hell....I almost beat him to it, only with the World Title.
Megan: True...against Mechius. I suppose you're gonna toot your own horn all night, aren't you?
Flyboy: "Toot my own horn?" Yech...that might be something for Lilith to do...but I'm not even gonna try to do it to myself...that's sick.
Megan: Thank you for taking a perfectly innocent expression and making it vulgar...
Flyboy: Don't mention it.
"Introducing first...the challenger. From Japan, standing five foot eleven and weighing two hundred...and thirty five pounds....Kairi...LYGER!!"
The crowd pops as Kairi makes his way out, to a large pop from the crowd...
Flyboy: The most beloved Japanese wrestler around...after Black Widow...and possibly Tajiri.
Megan: I don't know about Tajiri...I think Lyger has him beat...although it's pretty tough to top the popularity of Widow.
Flyboy: Well...personally, I'd love to see Tajiri cut the wimpy mist and spit FIRE!!
Megan: I believe that gimmick's been taken.
Flyboy: Damn!
Kairi gets inside the ring, looking like nearly a new man with his new look. He poses a bit for the crowd before his theme fades out...
"Of Wolf and Man" by Symphony and Metallica cues up...
Megan: The champion will be out any moment...and this will be a true test of Colley's endurance...facing a top caliber athelete like Lyger...THEN later in the night having to face Chainsaw and Rash!
Flyboy: Rash AND Baby!
Megan: Gimme a break. I don't doubt the talents of Black Widow or Blink or Sonnette or Lupe...but BABY?!
Flyboy: If it's anything you should know as a wrestler, it's not to take anyone lightly. I mean...you'd hardly know it from his retarded behavior, but William Regal was a legit tough-guy.
Megan: Yeah, but Baby's not a wrestler...not really trained much at all...and shiny distract her!! She hasn't got brains, brawn, skills, or even toughness to her credit.
Flyboy: She's got a killer bod, though...
Megan: *Sigh* Anyhow...Colley's got his work cut out for him.
"And the Champion...hailing from Los Angeles, California. He stands 6'3" and weighs in at two hundred forty seven pounds. He's 1/2 of the Wildpack 2000, and is a member of Red Tooth and Claw...the defending EAW International Champion.."Big Yiffy" Colley Dogstar!!
As Colley climbs onto the stairs, he lets out a loud howl, which the crowd joins in on. He then climbs into the ring...staring down Lyger.
Megan: Colley hands the title to referee Tommy Sato....who signals for the bell!!
*ding, ding*
Megan: Two young...strong...experienced atheletes here...each hesitant to make the first move. Tackle attempt by Lyger!! No...caught by Colley...arm lock suplex coming up! Blocked! Double Leg Takedown by Lyger!! Lyger mounting Colley....assailing him with rights...Colley reverses and rolls over...gives Lyger some of his own....Up to his hind legs. Irish Whip...blocked...Lyger with a set up...short piledriver on Colley! Keeps his legs around his head for the headscissors! Colley stunned with that move.
Flyboy: Man...having another guy's head between your legs...that's a bit...well, you know.
Megan: It's a time-honored hold, Flyboy.
Flyboy: If Colley was Colley-chan right now, I could see...
Megan: Colley seems to be coming out of it....Lyger with the headscissors still on...Colley up...springs out and slips out of the grip of Lyger! Front Dropkick into the face of Lyger!! Colley not up...pulls up Lyger...whip to the ropes...knee to the midsection of Kairi...into an abdominal stretch!
Flyboy: Eh...not exactly "my kind" of move...GO UP TOP!!
Megan: Lyger struggling towards the ropes...Colley doing his best to keep away, but not grabbing the top rope for additional leverage.
Flyboy: Which is pretty stupid.
Megan: Respecting the rules and his opponent I thought it was?
Flyboy: Naw, just stupidity.
Megan: Lyger nearly reaching the ropes now!! Colley lets go! Yanks Lyger away from the ropes...goes to apply is again--No, arm drag over by Lyger! Colley up again--DROP TOE HOLD by Lyger!...INTO THE STF!! STF applied by Lyger!! A move VERY similar to the Regal Stretch...
Flyboy: Yeah...THAT'LL make the viewers at home respect it.
Megan: Despite the suckiness and stupidity of its owner, the Regal Stretch is a great move.
Flyboy: Guess so...
Megan: Colley reaches the ropes!! But the initial damage may have already been done..Lyger up to his feet quickly..stomping away the back of Colley's neck and upper back...Colley rolls out to the outside...presumably to regroup.
Flyboy: No duh...what do you think he's gonna do, Meg? Order a beer from the vendors?
Megan: Well, he could be doing that just to try to lure Lyger into--PLANCHA BY LYGER ONTO COLLEY!!
Flyboy: Into...?
Megan: Into a trap of some sort. Trick him into doing an easily counterable move...guess that wasn't the case though...Lyger pulls up Colley...trapping him near the stairs, and laying in a few hard kicks to the midsection! Pulls him up now...Irish Whip...Colley hits the safety railing back first!!
Flyboy: Colley's getting beat like...well...for lack of a better word, a dog.
Megan: Lyger gearing up to follow through...charging at Colley--COLLEY CATCHES HIM!! Bearhug--NO...rather...BELLY TO BELLY OVERHEAD SUPLEX INTO THE CROWD!!
Flyboy: INTO THE STANDS GOES THAT ONE!!
Megan: Heh...since no one caught him, I assume that means that they aren't going to be keeping that one. Lyger hopefully didn't land on the back on his neck on that hard cement...I think he...yes...he had his landing somewhat "softened" by those front row chairs.
Flyboy: Yeah...landing on those chairs really breaks a fall...yeesh. They better get in the ring or this could end on a count out.
Megan: Colley knows that very well, and climbs over the railing...he wants to beat Lyger in the ring.
Flyboy: More proof he's stupid...if he just gets in the ring, he can have this title defense over in two shakes of your booty! Or however long it takes that dipsh*t Sato to count to ten.
Megan: Colley has him by the hair now...dumps him over the railing to the ringside area...and...are my eyes decieving me or is he climbing onto the guardrail?
Flyboy: That or marking the guardrail..oh, no, he IS climbing it!
Megan: Colley up on the guardrail...a bit wobbly...Lyger up--AXHANDLE on target! Colley takes him down with that one...pulls him up again...rolls him inside. Curiously neither of them have gone for any powerbombs yet.
Flyboy: Huh?
Megan: Both of them are famous for their signature powerbomb variations...which will probably come into play sooner if not later. Colley in after Lyger...rolling him over away from the ropes...our first cover!
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One!
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TWO!
Kickout!
Flyboy: I kinda dig the blue hair Lyger's sporting...though mine is still the coolest.
Megan: How gracious of you to admit that...Colley pulls up Lyger...up by the neck...snapmare takeover. Rear chinlock applied...Lyger fighting up to his feet though...elbows to the midsection...more of them...Colley lets go! Lays in more kicks to the midsection..the chest! Lyger hits the ropes...SPINNING WHEEL KICK by Lyger!! Lyger out to the apron...SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP!! And a cover by Lyger!
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One!
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TWO!
Kickout by Colley!!
Flyboy: Colley may very well be in danger of losing that title!
Megan: Well, against someone like Lyger, no title is really safe. Lyger up to his feet now....pulls up Colley..sends him to the corner now...climbs up now...1...2...3...4...5...6--Shoved off by Colley! Colley's still slumped in the corner, however. Lyger back in...Monkey Flip coming up--Colley reversing! INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!!!
Flyboy: AHHHHH!! DAMN that hurts just to LOOK at! Lyger's t'aint may never be the same!
Megan: Lyger's momentum temporarily squelched there..pulls him by the head...SET UP!! SET UP!!
Flyboy: NOW what?
Megan: Colley getting him into position...YES...charging towards the corner--CORNER TRAP POWERBOMB! Tosses him hard against the turnbuckle! Colley takes the offensive with style...now gearing up....BRONCO BUSTER!! BRONCO BUSTER!!
Flyboy: Really *bleep* move!! Really *bleep* move!!
Megan: Colley now dragging Lyger out of the corner...hooks the leg!
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One!
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TWO!
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...KICKOUT!!
Flyboy: Yech...yech..YECH...how he can stand to recover so quick after having a dog crotch rubbed in his face is beyond me.
Megan: Well, he managed to, and Colley's going to have to come up with something else here if he wants to retain the title...Colley pulls up Lyger...setting him up for a suplex now...blocked by Lyger...LYGERREADYTOCOUNTERAAANDHEDOES!! Holding on with the front facelock..pulls him up..ANOTHER SUPLEX...second in a row! Now a set u--Colley ducks out of the way! Lyger after--Colley ducks the roundhouse! Irish Whip...REVERSED..REVERSED AGAIN!! Lyger into the corner...Colley up...going for a superplex--COUNTER! Lyger with a set up...charging outof the corner aaaaaand LYGERBOMB CENTER OF THE RING!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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SHOULDER UP!! SHOULDER UP!! SO CLOSE to Lyger pulling off the win!
Flyboy: Damn right...he just needs a little something to help take that last bit of fight out of Colley...like a lead pipe to the back of Colley's head.
Megan: *sigh* Flyboy...manager of champions?
Flyboy: Maybe some day...
Megan: Lyger up...obvious that this match is taking its toll on him as well as Dogstar...Pulls up Colley...DDT position...lets in a few knees to the midsection..OOOOOh...an especially hard one there, and Colley down to both of his...taking him down to the mat...and Colley may be in trouble here...turns it into a modified sleeper now...he's stuck very close to the mat, and Colley's offense is mostly when he's upright...trying to fight his way back up now...Lyger with the hammerlock....into the armwringer....now goes for the hook kick--CAUGHT by Colley!! Colley up holding on tight to Lyger's leg...TRIPS up Lyger!! Anklelock applied!! Lyger crawling over to the ropes...and gets it!
Flyboy: That move is getting a bit too popular...damn Angle!
Megan: Odd to think he would be a trendsetter....Lyger climbing up with the ropes...shaking a bit of the pain out of that leg...Colley stomping at it now...again...sends him to the far ropes...Lyger off the ropes...POWERSLAM!! Colley now ready to go for it...there goes the elbowpad...the CANO'S ELBOW!! Hits the far ropes...up and over Lyger...coming back now...THERE IT--Lyger rolls out of the way!!
Flyboy: HA!! Colley blows the elbow!!
Megan: Lyger now..spinning up!
Flyboy: Spinneroonie! Spinneroonie! Spinnerooonie!
Megan: Lyger up....SIDE KICK to the head of Colley!! Oh, and don't rip off Madden...that wasn't really very much like Booker's spin up, either..
Flyboy: Eh, close enough.
Megan: Colley shaking that off...Lyger pulling him up now...another Lygerbomb set up--Colley shoves him off!! Powerbomb being set up by Colley!! NO...Lyger with rights on Colley...Colley lets go...Irish Whip by Lyger...ducked that clothesline from Lyger...Colley back now...kick by Lyger!! Set up...THERE'S THE LYGER SPIKE!!
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One!
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TWO!
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THREE!!!
*ding, ding, ding*
Megan/Flyboy: NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION!!
"The winner of this match up...by pinfall....and NEEEEEEEEW EAW International Champion....Kairi Lyger!"
Megan: What an upset for Lyger...well, considering how soon it is after his return to the EAW.
Flyboy: DAMN IT...Colley had plenty of opportunities to escape with the title...could have had a count out, could have gone for the DQ, could have even powerbombed him on the steel stairs or something...but he had to fight fair and it cost him the title!
Megan: I disagree with that...Lyger was just on his best tonight, and pulled off the victory for his first International Title! Give it up for him, Flyboy!
Flyboy: What do you mean by "give it up?"
Megan: Applaud you nit...ah, forget it. Anyhow, an incredible victory by Lyger...Colley even raising his hand for it! Before our next match, we're about to go backstage where Pamela is with a certain member of the RTC.
Flyboy: WHO? WHO?
Backstage...
Pamela Paulshock is with Dudley Clark II, Esq.
Pamela: It's been officially announced already by Steven Richards...the Right to Censor is no more. Dudley...just where does this leave you and the rest of the Right to Censor?
Dudley: I believe we already know the status of RTC Man...
Pamela: Kinda...out of the picture you could say.
Dudley: Yes. Well, as you know, my primary reason for joining the Right to Censor was to rid the EAW of the Jolly Gentlemen...the Regal Regime....whatever you want to call them.
Pamela: Uh, huh...and since then Cecil has been fired and William quit.
Dudley: Indeed they have. I was willing to stay behind..but...well...this changes the whole complexion of things, doesn't it?
Pamela: Yes...so what is your decision?
Dudley: I believe I'll return home to London...perhaps return now and then to hone my wrestling skills further, but I'm afraid to say I have no real reason to stay right at the moment. As for Ivory...
Pamela: What about Ivory?
Dudley: She isn't taking the news too well, let's just say...
Pamela: I see...well, back to you, Megan and Flyboy!
Megan: Now is the time, now is the time when we see this "Debut Match" for the Cell to Hell. A big Cell that surrounds the ring entry way, and around the ring.
Flyboy: I'll even admit, this match? There will be someone hurt, Test and or Raven. You never know, Raven has that crazed, f***ed up and sick mind. Test is just confident that he can keep the Extreme Title with ease.
Megan: The Cell is now being lowered.. And it now hits the surface, the Cell is completly down. I wonder how long it took to make this thing.
Flyboy: Same here, damn, that't creative.
("Supercharger Heaven" by White Zombie cues up as the fans are standing on their feet cheering for Raven. The challenger for the Extreme Title.)
Megan: Raven, he tried before, but hadn't been successful.
Flyboy: What? Raven has chances towards him. He has fought in this hideous match, and he has the experience.
Megan: Test beat Raven for the number one contendship to the title in the first place..
Flyboy: As Raven said, that was a regular Extreme fight, this is a whole different story.
Megan: Good point, but I am going for Test.
("Last Resort" by Papa Roach blares as the fans stand up, and like normal, BLOW THE ROOF FOR TEST! Raven walks down to ringside waiting for Test, while Test walks on the entry way. He sits there pointing at the Extreme Title taunting Raven.)
Flyboy: Looks like Raven and Test are walking towards each other..
(While they walk towards each other, "Praise the Lords" by Lords of Acid plays as Lord Gokuo walks out with a mic.)
Megan: It's President Gokuo!!?? What's he doing here?
Gokuo: Cell to Hell.. y'know, I like the idea of this matchup, but dere's always sumthin' missin' witta debut match like dis....dere's always sumthin' missin', and everyone probably knows it by now. Ya see...we gotta bare floor...nuttin' there...
(Pop from the crowd)
Gokuo: All we got's dat ladda way down in da ring right now, and we got the 2x4 right unda't. Dat's it? Disiz for the Extreme Title.. So I gots a surprise for the both of ya...
Megan: What?
Flyboy: Surprise? Oh I like this!
(With that, Gokuo snaps his fingers, and some officials wheel out two carts full of weapons.)
Gokuo: Seal the entryway when I leave...and have fun boys!
*ding ding*
Megan: Test slides down a cart of weapons and nods. He throws the Extreme Title to the side of the Cell. Test pulls out a Stop Sign, Chair, Pipe, Nightstick, and a Kendo Stick. Raven pulls out the same, but has a little extra. Raven pulls out a big 4x4.
Flyboy: This is what I call an Extreme Title matchup!
Megan: Raven grabs the Kendo Stick and heads up to Test, Test does the same. It seems they are having a good old Kendo Stick fight.
Flyboy: Remember X-Pac vs. Steve Blackman with that? This is the same! But better!!
Megan: Test takes a swing and Raven blocks it and brings both sticks around in a circle, Clothesline by Raven. He picks his Kendo Stick back up, he turns around and Test hits a Big Boot sending Raven to the Metal Ramp.
Flyboy: Wow, fans are shouting like hell and the match just begun.
Megan: No kidding, this is gonna be good. Test takes Raven and tosses him into the side of the cell! Raven just bounced off like a Superball! Test picks him back up and is pulling him to the ring, he tosses him into the ring apron. Test picks up a Stop Sign and takes a few steps back.. He runs at Raven.. NO!! Raven just Dropkicked Test in the face with that Stop Sign hitting him in the head.
Flyboy: The beauty part is, there is no referee!! I should be in there.
Megan: I know you can't resist. Raven walks over to the corner of the ring, he picks up the Steel Steps and sets them in the ring. Test is trying to reach to his feet, Raven picks him up and throws him into the ring apron. Raven tosses him in the ring.
Flyboy: How many Cell pieces down is it to get outta the Cell?
Megan: Two I believe.
Flyboy: They better get that ladder down there, otherwise they won't be able to climb up it, and get outta there. They gotta jump off of that thing to!
Megan: Raven picks Test up and whips him into the corner, Jumping Clothesline!!.. No! Test grabs him, Bearhug Sidewalk Slam! What a reversal!! Test gets out of the ring and looks under, he grabs some Trash Cans and tosses them in the ring. He tosses the last one and it hits Raven in the head. The fans are laughing!
Flyboy: Same with me, hee-hee!
Megan: Test grabs the trash can and puts it in the corner, he moves the ladder out of the way to the side of the ring. Test picks Raven up and whips him into the trash can! Raven is smiling!?
Flyboy: I swear, that guy is seriously f***ed up...
Megan: Not much argument there...Test now sets up the ladder and starts climbing, the ladder is right by the side ropes, his could nail the cell wall if he loses his balence or something. Test reaches the top and starts to turn around. WHOA! Raven is climbing the turnbuckle, Test turns around and Raven jumps off with a Missle Dropkick! Test rejected off the ladder, ouch! Test just flew right into the cell and just, ricocheted off of it!
Flyboy: The fans are cheering for these two. This is one hell of a match!
Megan: Raven is down, Test is down and struggling to get to the ropes. Raven is up, he going for the 4x4. He sets it up on the 3rd rope in the middle, he picks Test up, he picks him up and immediatly releases him into a.. What the hell!? He just gave him a releasing Judo Front Slam!! Test just made that 4x4 into a 2x4! Raven is laughing at Test. Raven now takes the ladder and puts it outside of the ring. He gets out slowly taking his time and starts walking up the entry way. Test gets up and grabs the Stop Sign, he heads for Raven.. Raven sets the ladder up on the weakspot of the Cell, he begins climbing.. Test follows him behind, Test yells for Raven, throws the sign, BIG BOOT! BIG BOOT TO THE HEAD!! Test is pumping the crowd up! Raven is down and struggling to get up.
Flyboy: Ouch, Raven probably still enjoys that. I'll show ya pain buddy!
Megan: Test begins to climb the ladder with the 2x4, he is slowly getting up there, he reaches the fourth step when Raven starts climbing on the otherside. Test stops and holds his side, Raven is still going, Test drops the 2x4 and they are brawling it out. Raven and Test are going Punch after Punch, Raven tries blocking a punch and moves the ladder to much.. Oh my God.. No, no, no!!
Flyboy: NO!!
Megan: Raven and Test just fell off with the Ladder!! Raven and Test were both still in the air when they hit the Cell! They slid down the cell like they had butter on them, that is, oh my God.
Flyboy: Now this is getting Extreme, but very daring.
Megan: Both men are down, no ref to count or call the match off. What?
Flyboy: That is what I am saying, RAVEN'S NOT SMILING!
Megan: That's not normal, now this is a horrible type pain for him if he isn't smiling. Raven and Test and now starting to move, Test is making the first one and using the ladder to get up. Test is now standing by barely standing still, Raven is holding onto the Cell to try and get to his feet, they both do and slowly exchange right hands. Test blocks one and counters with a Floating Hip Toss down to the tip of the Rampway. Test walks down there towards Raven. Raven is crawling to the ring apron and pulls himself up.
Flyboy: How can they still go on when falling into the side cell? I can tell Raven wants this Extreme Title, and Test will do anything to retain this. Wow!
Megan: I will strongly agree with you Flyboy. Test runs at Raven and tries a Clothesline but Raven moves, he bashes his head into the ring apron. Raven is now heading under the ring, he pulls out a table and a chain. Raven sets the table up and puts the chain around the ring post. Test is trying to get up, Raven walks over and starts with some Clutching Punches to the head. Test is groggy, Raven throws him on the table. He now goes back under the ring, he grabs another table! How much does he want Test to be destroyed? He said he wouldn't try and hospitalize him at all!
Flyboy: Yeah, but hey, look what Test did to him already, he has a good cause for it!
Megan: Raven puts the table in the ring, Raven now goes on the turnbuckle, he signals for a Jumping Body Splash from the top rope, he jumps!! Test moved!! He moved!! Raven snapped that table right in half!! Raven is shaking around on the ground from the collision! Test is rolling into the ring slowly setting up the other table. He quickly runs out and grabs that chain Raven before grabbed.. Test is.. Uh oh. He wrapped it around his boot, he sets Raven up on the ring apron.. RUNNING BIG BOOT!! Raven ejects backwards still on the ring apron. Test rolls him in the ring, Test is trying to get the crowd crazed up. He climbs to the second turnbuckle and signals for a Diving Elbow.. He climbs to the third, jumps off, RAVEN MOVED!! How did he move!!?? He was cleaned out through the table and with the Big Boot! How much longer will this mayhem continue??
Flyboy: I don't know about that. Test is giving everything he can when Raven just shows that he has more. He just had a big adrenaline rush for sure, otherwise he would've been done. Test has handled out alot of punishment just by two moves!
Megan: Both Raven and Test are down, they are both slowly rolling around by each other. Both men are trying to stand by using one another, Raven is on one knee, Test also, they start punching each other, Raven Headbutted Test sending him down. Raven pulls the chain off of Test's boot. He wraps it around his knuckles, he starts pummeling on Test. I am surprised these two are not bleeding yet, that's shocking.
Flyboy: Well you know these two will not leave this Cell unbled. Still...you gotta point...normally Raven would be a gusher at this point.
Megan: I agree, surprised Test isn't yet with this pummelling, Raven from that Big Boot! Raven takes the chain off of his knuckles and stands Test up, Scoop Slam to the canvas. Raven runs agains the side ropes, Quick Leg Drop! Raven is breathing heavy, so is Test. Raven stands Test up and pulls an Irish Whip, Back Body Drop! No! Test counters, Diving Powerbomb!! Test is rising back into this fight, and Raven is dropping! This is going on and off the whole time! Someone please just take control!
Flyboy: Listen to these fans, they are just screaming the living hell outta their body. They won't have enough energy for the big Main Event tonight if they keep this up!
Megan: I don't think I will be able to commentate because of this match. This is nuts! Test jumps in the air with a Knee Drop. Test picks Raven up and tosses him into the corner, running with a follow up Avalanche. Raven is slowly falling forward, test runs at him and delebritly took his head off with that Diving Forarm! Test is getting the ovation, and the Charisma. Test picks up Raven and tosses him on the table, he is climbing the turnbuckle. He signals for another Diving Elbow, jumps and.. WHAT!?!?! RAVEN MOVED!! HE MOVED!! TEST WENT DIVING THROUGH THAT TABLE LIKE RAVEN EARLIER!! Both men are down, Raven is not moving much, Test is not moving much.
Flyboy: This is the second dimension of hell! They won't give up, if they don't soon, they won't be able to defend the EAW Extreme Title. Either of them, after this match, I think there will be permanent damage left.
Megan: I think there already is, I don't know how, just, wow. This is a crazy match, I dont' know how anyone can surive inside this monsterous Cell to Hell. Raven is struggling to get up, Test is now onto one knee. Raven is standing fully, he punches Test in the head which sends him to the floor. Test rolls to the tip of the rampway, Raven slides under the ropes and walks over to Test. He starts stomping on Test ribs. He picks Test up and tosses him into the Cell. Test bounces off and Raven does it again on the otherside. Raven grabs him and runs with him for one last ride, Test bounces off again and onto the ground. Raven is smiling, he picks Test up and tosses him forward onto the rampway. Test is crawling up there, Raven starts giving him some cocky disrespect kicks in the head to knock him down.
Flyboy: Raven is gonna regret that, I can feel it.
Megan: Yeah.. right. Raven stands Test up, he points to the ladder. He stands it up against the cell, Raven with an Irish Whip.. NO!! TEST REVERSED IT!! Raven flew into the ladder and Test fell back down on the metal rampway! Both men are down, what?
Flyboy: What the hell?
( The fans start counting.)
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Three!
Flyboy: I have never heard anything like that before, they are really into this match!
Megan: They are keeping the count going, Test is now getting up. Test stands the ladder up directly under the two cell pieces, he grabs the 2x4 that is about 5 feet away. Test starts his climb, the fans are on there feet chanting for Test, some are for Raven. Raven is lying on the ground, starting to roll over by the ladder.. He pushed it over!! Yes!! Good thing Test jumped off right on the impact, otherwise he would've been knocked out for sure! Raven starts to stand up, Test is also.. Huh? I am lost or did I miss something..?
Flyboy: It seems they are both setting up the ladder.. What!? They beat the hell outta each other, and then they help each other. I don't get this at all!
Megan: Raven spins around the corner and punches Test in the head, DROPKICK! Raven starts climbing up the ladder, he grabs the 2x4, pushes the top open!! He could win this match!! Raven grabs the top of the cell, HERE COMES TEST!! Whoa!! Big Boot to the ladder sending Raven down to the campus!! Raven fell onto the side of the cell!! Back of the ladder hit Test in the head!! Both men are down, and now are busted open! Raven pushes the ladder away from him, Test is shaking his head. They both are again struggling, Raven and Test grab onto the cell, and start pulling there way up, they need help just standing now.
Flyboy: They can't seem to get outta here, they should've left right when they went through those tables. Now look what they've done.
Megan: Wait a minute, who is that on the floor down there? Two men have a table and they are.. what! It's Kevin Nash and Booker T! They are setting the table up right by the jumping area. They go back and get another, this is bad. Whoever jumps will have to jump somewhat awkward! Nash and Booker T are just sitting there laughing at Raven and Test, they stay there and watch them struggle. Booker T bends over and picks up the EAW Extreme Title, he throws it up on top of the cell by the opening. He smiles. Test sets the ladder up and begins climbing, he reaches the top when Raven stands up and steps on the ladder. Test is pulling himself up with his feet on top of the ladder. Raven is halfway up..
Flyboy: I think Test is gonna win this if he hurrys up.
Megan: Test gets out of the Cell and onto the top!! The fans are blowing the roof off for Test and Raven right now, I soon will be. Test falls over on the ground breathing heavily, he rolls to the right and sees his Extreme Title. He grabs it and tries standing. Raven reaches the top of the ladder, he jumps and grabs the top of the cell. Raven gets on his knees and bends over, what the hell is he doing?
Flyboy: No, no no no!! Don't! Raven is pulling the ladder up to the top of the cell! Knock this off, just try and get down! Raven gets it on top and then falls back down to the ground. Both Test and Raven manage to pull themselves up, Test drops the Extreme Title, Raven and Test now stare at each with there eyes squinting and holding there body in pain, they are breathing like hell, bleeding like hell. They are both standing on the middle of the cell, just staring. Somebody go and jump off!
Megan: No, I think they will finish one off first, then win the match in my opinion.
Flyboy: Ah what the hell, just go!
Megan: These two outta respect each after this match, if they don't, they must've lost a lot of brain cells!
Flyboy: Look at Raven, look at Test. They are both breathing heavy as hell and staring. Raven slowly bends down to get the ladder, he sets it up. Test braces the Extreme Title in a circle getting ready for something. They begin to stare, Test drops the Extreme Title, Raven leaves the ladder and they run at each other and start a brawl! Test is on Raven giving him numerous hits to the head. Test starts to get off Raven and head for the side, Raven's up.. Leg Sweep by Raven! Test fell on his front side, Raven is trying to get to the ladder, he does. He starts to climb.
Flyboy: This is nuts, Raven is at least 40 feet in the air right now. What is he planning to do when he gets on top of that ladder?
Megan: I don't know, but I hope he isn't planning to jump to the floor. Raven is half way up, he jumps off with a Diving Elbow to Test! Both men are down, lying there bleeding and helpless on the top of this metal cell. Raven is making progress, so is Test. They both stand up, they are getting closer to the tip of the cell, Test begins climbing up the ladder, Raven follows up after him.
Flyboy: Someone just jump off and win the match!
Megan: Raven and Test are halfway, they are fighting each other to get to the top. Why though? Raven takes a big swing at Test, NO! NO! NO! NNNOOOO!!!
Flyboy: What in the living hell!?
( Raven and Test are shaking the ladder, they fall off of the cell. Test and Raven went through the two tables that Booker T and Kevin Nash set up. )
Megan: Damnit! Help them! Help them!
Flyboy: They will be committed out of action I can tell you that right now.
Megan: But who is the winner? Who hit the ground first!?
( We take a look at the replay, Booker T and Kevin Nash walk forward, Kevin Nash has a microphone. )
Kevin Nash: Raven! I have two words to say to you right now, YOU'RE WELCOME!
Megan: What? You're welcome? He didn't do anything!
( "Praise the Lords" by Lords of Acid cues up, Lord Gokuo comes down by Raven and Test. He climbs the cell and grabs the Extreme Title, he stands on top of the cell holding the Extreme Title. )
Gokuo: I made da decision. Da winna for dis match.. Test! He hit da ground first before Raven!
Winner and still EAW Extreme Champion: Test
Megan: That was one of the bloodiest matches I have seen in my life!
Flyboy: Here come the EMT's, thank God they are here. We can't lose two warriors like Raven and the Extreme Champion Test.
Megan: Keep these two in your prayers everyone...hope there isn't any permanent damage....
Back to the ring and to Megan and the Flyboy as the two commentators look at each other with uncertain gazes.
Megan: Well, I guess Shaed was right... it IS Ryokami! And he's coming back, Flyboy!
Flyboy: Yep... and how nice and bright is he gonna be glowing in the dark, folks? We'll find out soon!
Megan: Oh, be nice... well, up next we have the People's Title match! Code Red defends his title against, of all people, Lou Cypher! And--
Suddenly, Fear Factory's "Back The F*** Up" cues up!
Flyboy: What the--?!
Megan: That song... no one in the entire EAW Roster has that song!! Who could--?!
A man in blue jeans, a white tank top, a black leather jacket, and Dr. Martens walks out from the crowd, hopping over the railing and turning around, golden eyes looking to the crowd with just a hint of cold unemotion.
Megan: Oh my God!! It's... that's a member of the Clan Justice, I think!! The Intercessor, Ken Sumizu!!
Flyboy: Who, the guy who can do that cool stuff with the metal and special effects? Neat! Who needs to see "A.I.?" We got all that in the EAW!!
Ken walks to commentating position and sits down next to Megan, calmly putting on a headset.
Ken: Hello.
Megan: Uhm, hi! This was... well, unexpected, seeing a member of the Clan Justice show up, so suddenly like this.
Ken: Unexpected? Not likely. Your co-commisioner Shaed Bloodgrave brought us in to ensure order is ensured. There are criminal acts going on here... murder, kidnapping, mutilation. We're here to put a stop to that.
Flyboy: Well, murder... that's not really, that hasn't happened lately, and that's a good thing... I guess the kidnapping and mutilation part's about Celestria.
Ken: You're right. And that's why I'm here. To rescue Celestria by any means necessary.
"Sympathy For The Devil" suddenly cues up.
Ken: And maybe stop Cypher from dragging the Rolling Stones with him. I like the Stones.
Lou Cypher comes out to the stage, alone for the moment, looking to the crowd and smiling deviously... climbing into the ring, he waves mockingly to the crowd... then notices Ken sitting in the commentator's desk... who waves back just as mockingly to Lou.
Flyboy:Looks like Lou doesn't like you bein' here, Kenny.
Ken: The reputation of the Clan Justice proceeds us... Lou knows how much of a threat we are to evil like him.
Megan: I guess so...
"There's A Fire In The House" cues up and Michael Connelly runs into the ring, sliding in and grabbing Cypher, immediately laying in the fists to him.
Megan: Whoa!! Code Red's not wasting any time!! And this match is underway as referee Teddy Long rings the bell!
Ken: Can you blame the man? Cypher tried to convince his wife to commit harakiri... that's not cool at all.
Flyboy: Amen to that! Oseiko's too cute to off herself like that!
Megan: CRIMSON TIDE!! Code Red goes for the pin! One! Two! But Cypher somehow kicks out! This match should be over rather quickly nonetheless, Connelly's the much better athlete!
Ken: Never underestimate demons.
Megan: Code Red picks Cypher up... WHOA, IN GOOD TASTE TO CODE RED'S FACE! AGAIN!! AND-- NO, blocked by Michael! Counter-- SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE!! AND... oh, no... look who's out!
Ken: The Lady.
Flyboy: And she ain't there to look pretty... given that's kinda impossible now...
Ken: She's not going to help Cypher.
Ken suddenly stands up, pulling off the headset and heading towards the Lady, who slows as she sees him approach her... then takes a step back.
Flyboy: Holy s*bleep*t! Look who's behind the Lady!
Megan & Flyboy: MECHAOS!!!
Flyboy: Ah, man... this is gonna suck for ol' Kenny here...
Megan: Whoa, the match is still going on, though! Lou manages to slide through Michael's legs-- WHAT'S MY NAME!!!
Flyboy: Megan.
Megan: Not me, silly! I-- O_O!!! WHAT THE--?! DID YOU SEE THAT?!!
Flyboy: O_O! S*bleep*T!! Ken just... he got... he just armored up!! He looks like a silver Darth Vader!! Damn!! Whoa, and he just got lightsabers poppin' outta his arms!!
Megan: I've never seen anything like this!! Ken and Mechaos are both fighting!! The Lady's got an opening! She's walking back to the ring! And in the ring... IMMACULATE PERPLEXION ON LOU CYPHER!! Spear coming up-- NO! LADY GRABBED MICHAEL'S FOOT! He tripped! Cypher with the pin! He's got the tights! One! Two! Thr--NO!! Oh, thank God!! What a disaster that would have been!!
Flyboy: CRAP!!! KENNY JUST SLICED OFF MECHAOS' ARMS WITH THOSE THINGS!! And-- STO THROUGH THE STAGE?!! DAMN!! How strong IS he?!!
Megan: Mechaos doesn't seem to be the same now with his mind off-line! But the Intercessor's got no more distractions! He's going back towards the Lady! And back in the ring! Lou's got the upper hand!! KICK TO THE GROIN!! Ooooo... NO! DEVIL'S ADVOCATE!!! Lady slid into the ring!! So did Intercessor!! Lou was about to cover-- whoa!! He's standing in-between the Lady and the Intercessor! He's either very brave or very stupid!! He's talking down to him, even poking at his breastplate! OHH!!!
Flyboy: OUCH!!
Megan: STIFF SHOT TO THE GUT BY THE INTERCESSOR!! RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REF!! He's calling for the bell!! This one's over!
Winner by DQ: Lou Cypher; still People's Champion: "Code Red" Michael Connelly
Megan: The Intercessor... wait, the Lady's gone! She must have slipped out during the commotion! He can't seem to find her anywhere!
Flyboy: I don't think it matters too much... I think Kenny did this just to cost Cypher a shot at the title! Sure he won... but he doesn't get the People's Title around his waist!
The Intercessor glances at the recovering Code Red, who looks up at the gleaming metallic man. He merely nods, and as "Back The F*** Up" cues up, the Intercessor climbs out of the ring, the chrome plating retracting back into his body as he makes his way back up the aisle.
Megan: Ladies and gentlemen, this... that was unbelievable! If the Intercessor is any indication of how powerful the Clan Justice is, Cypher may very well have a legitimate problem on his hands!
Scene switch to the backstage... the Lady is there, looking behind her as she looks for the Clan Justice member. Turning around, she sees... Ariel!
Ariel: Celestria!! There you are!! Please, Celestria! You gotta come with me! I can take you to the Clan Justice! They can help you get better!! Please... I... I miss you! =;.;= ... I love you, Celestria... I wanna help... please let me help...
The Lady pauses... cocking her head... she opens her mouth, but no sound escapes. But she does open her arms out towards Ariel. The kitten-girl smiles brightly and leaps into the Lady's arms, hugging her tightly.
Ariel: Oh, I knew it!! I knew you were in there still!! Don't worry, Celestria, I'll make sure that meanie Cypher won't--
The Lady suddenly turns around and throws Ariel back-first through a table!
Megan: O_O!! NOO!!! MY GOD, ARIEL!!!
Flyboy: HOLY S*bleep*T!! THAT'S A NINE YEAR OLD GIRL SHE JUST PUT THROUGH A TABLE!! Ah, I gotta--
Flyboy immediately throws off his headset and runs to the backstage, forgetting his duties as a broadcaster; Megan is all but speechless. Back at the backstage the Lady kneels down and grabs Ariel by the hair, the cat-girl wailing in agony both physical and emotional. Suddenly Kane runs out and quickly gets the Lady to back up. As she shrinks away Kane drops to his knees, touching the crying kitten-girl's shoulders as he looks around.
Kane: SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!! C'MON!! HELP HER!!
Flyboy joins in, as does several of the EAW faces; such as Raven, Oseiko, Bret Hart, Eighteen, Blink, Sonnette, even Steven Richards, seeing to the hurt Ariel. Shortly the EMTs do arrive and after fitting Ariel in a neck brace, gently carries her to a stretcher and wheels her out to the ambulance. Kane and Oseiko both get into ambulance with the still sobbing Ariel... the doors close and the vehicle drives away, leaving the EAW, and many of its fans, in total shock.
Backstage...
Baby: Rash! You've made it. Where were you?
Rash: It's a long story, but...*Looks around* you didn't see a white van arrive over here, right?
Baby: Well, no... but why is that important now?
Rash: Don't worry about it. I'll tell you later. But for now, we have titles to win!!!
Baby: *Jumps up and down* WHOO-HOOO!!!!
The two then walk off for preparation of their match.
Megan: Yes, as the final teams in the Tag Tournament are about to go at a head.
Flyboy: Kaye giving head? Where?
"Born To Be Wild" by Steppenwolf cues up, as team Wildpack 2000 come to the ring getting a big ovation from the crowd.
Megan: Colley and Scarlet have been to the top many times before, but I wonder can they do it tonight?
Flyboy: I don't know.. Chainsaw are pretty good, too. Speaking of Chainsaw, here they come.
"Tear It Off" by Redman and Method Man hits as Chainsaw gets a reaction similar to Wildpack 2000's, but a little dampered down.
Flyboy: When will Wildpack 2000, go up a year?
Megan: I don't know, but I doubt they're even worried about that right now. As that last team make their way down to the ring.
"Countdown To Extinction" plays as the team of Rash and Baby, make their way out to the ring.
Flyboy: I just want to see Baby and Scarlet fight, damnit!
Megan: What was Rash talking about white vans and the such?
Flyboy: No clue, but maybe they were like institute people to put Rash in the looney house, where he f*cking belongs.
Megan: The opinions of the former World Champion, people.
Flyboy: Baby looks nice in that cat-suit outfit, thing.
Megan: Yes, well, anyhow... this match is underway!
*ding, ding, ding*
Megan: Colley is starting this match off with Chanyz.. and their exchanging fists between each other. Colley is getting the upper hand, and down with Chaynz! Chaynz up.. and down with a clothesline! Colley whips Chaynz to the ropes.. BIG BOOT--
Flyboy: .. Turned into a Dragon Leg Screw by Chaynz! Good counter move. Now, Chaynz tags in Rash--
Megan: Guess you can tag other team members, but no New Age Outlaw rules.
Flyboy: Or Outsiders, since we're on the subject.
Megan: Rash gets in the ring, an! d is met with a kick to his gut by Colley! Collar-and-elbow tie up.. Colley shoves Rash into the corner. Colley with a splash--but meets a boot to the temple. Rash is on the second rope.. DDT! But, Colley turns it into a releasing Northern Lights Suplex! Colley tags in Scarlet, but as soon as she gets in she's met with a lariat by Rash! Rash jumps to the apron, springboard-- Scarlet catches him with a dropkick in midair! Rash gets to his feet.. quick arm drag by Scarl! And another arm drag! Rash throws some right hands, but Scarlet ducks one--NECKBREAKER! Pin! . . . . One! . . . . Chaynz kicks Scarlet in the head! And, now Scarlet jaw-jacking with Chaynz, and Rash with a small package! . . . . One! . . . . Kickout!
Megan: Rash going to tag Baby, but Scarlet with a dropkick to the back of his leg! And, now Scarlet slaps Buzzsaw in the face! What a tag!
Flyboy: I don't think Saw-guy liked that, but anyhow, he just gave Rash a huge powerslam!
Megan: Buzzsaw with an Irish Whip, and Baby with a blind tag! Buzzsaw leapfrogs... Baby with a springboard dropkick! And, Rash comes follows with a legdrop! Rash goes to his respective corner...
Flyboy: What does Rash think Baby can do in there?
Megan: Well, Buzzsaw has her up for a Gorilla Press Slam-- Baby gets free! Baseball slide through Buzzsaw's legs, and Baby jumps on Buzzsaw's back.. SLEEPER!
Flyboy: That's real smart.. and Buzzsaw counters by falling on his back, and Baby smacks her head on the mat, too. Great counter!
Megan: Buzzsaw tags in Scarlet--
Flyboy: CATFIGHT!! CATFIGHT!! YAY!!
Megan: Scarlet isn't wasting any time.. The 10-57!! Baby is in the middle of the ring-- but off the top rope.. Buzzsaw w! ith a 450 Splash! Colley is in.. and is Colley-handling Buzzsaw! Now, Baby and Scarlet are on the outside brawling! Rash comes off with a Cross Body but Scarlet ducks, and he hits Baby! WAIT! They are guys in white suits, they're taking Rash! Baby trying to talk to them, and they take her too!
Flyboy: Looks like their goes team Baby and Rash's chances.
Megan: But, on the inside Chainsaw gives a Double Spear to Colley! Chaynz covers! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . NO! Scarlet breaks it up!
Megan: Scarlet and Chaynz are battling on the outside... and a double clothesline on the outside! They were both thinking the same move.
Flyboy: But, one the inside Buzzsaw is getting the Third Impact! He's on his second by Colley--
Megan: But, Buzzsaw reversed one into a DDT! Colley is up, and The Whiplash!! Cover! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . Three!
Megan: Chainsaw are your new tag champions!
Winner By Pinfall, NEW EAW Tag Team Champions >>> Chainsaw
Coming...late August...2001...
Going back to the ring...
Megan: Holy Wars...our next Pay Per View...in less than two months!
Flyboy: Yeah, but we ain't quite finished yet...we still got our main event, the EAW Title Match!
"Primal Concrete Sledge" by Pantera cues up, the crowd erupting in a mixed, but raucous, reaction.
Megan: It just so happens that this is someone you've had more than a few battles with over your storied EAW career.
Flyboy: Yeah..*grumbles* motherf***er...*grumble*
"The following match up...scheduled for one fall, is for the EAW World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, the challenger...from Greenwich, Connecticut..he's accompanied to the ring by Hera Hercig...he stands six foot four and weighs two hundred...and forty six pounds. 'The Decadent'...Hunter...Hearst...Helmsley!!
Flyboy: Yay yay...and yay...ah, hell with him.
Megan: Not a fan, I assume?
Flyboy: Naw...but I'll tell ya what...whoever wins this one...Sonnette or Hunter, is probably the toughest *bleep*er in this sport. Especially when you take a look at the other world champs...I mean...one plays second fiddle to a McMahon, and the other plays "Kum Bi Ya" on a guitar for the other McMahon! And the other isn't really a champion anymore...ah well. I guarantee you won't hear Sonnette or Hunter belting out folk songs for our boss anytime soon.
Megan: *Augh*...horrible...memories...of...Austin...singing...coming...back...AGH!
Flyboy: We shall survive....
Megan: Please don't sing....PLEASE..and PLEASE not that...
Flyboy: Heh...okay...I don't know the words anyhow, so I'd have to sing the chorus over and over again if I did.
Megan: Well, maybe then they could drag you out to the ring as a new Disco Inferno.
Flyboy: .....not funny.
Megan: Helmsley making his way down to the ring with purpose...Sonnette his intended target tonight, the World Title his goal. Can he do it? And can Flyboy restrain himself from jumping out of his seat and causing a DQ if he's about to?
Hunter takes a sip from a water bottle, and as he stands on the apron, he spews water out and directly on the face of Flyboy.
Flyboy: *dripping water* I wouldn't count on it...
Helmsley gets in the ring, as Hera stays outside nearby.
Flyboy: At least the view's nice....
"Take a Look Around" by Limp Bizkit cues up next, and the crowd pops huge again.
Flyboy: Ah yes...and here comes everyone's hero, the Hedgehogan herself.
Megan: Why you call her "Hedgehogan?"
Flyboy: Because it pisses her off.
Megan: Good enough reason I guess, for you anyway.
"And...the champion...originally from Mobotropolis on the planet Mobius...now hails from Columbus, Ohio!. She's a member of the Red Tooth and Claw...and stands five foot eleven and weighs one hundred and thirty seven pounds...the defending EAW World Heavyweight Champion....Sonnette Kintobor!!"
Flyboy: She's somethin' else, ain't she Megan?
Megan: Well, her toughness is undeniable...neither is her skill...but she has quite a foul mouth on her.
Flyboy: Yeah, but that mouth's good for other things...
Megan: Going a bit too far there, Fly...might not want her to hear you.
Flyboy: Eh...she wouldn't mind it. Anyhow...letsgittiton!!
Sonnette climbs into the ring...she hands over the title to the referree...the bell sounds...
*ding, ding*
Megan: What a night so far at Aggression...already a new International Champion and new Tag Team Champions....could this title change hands too, or will Sonnette defend successfully? Sonnette and Hunter locking up in the center of the ring...test of strength...Hunter seems to be gaining the advantage with that....knee to the midsection by Hunter! Turns it into a arm wringer...takedown! Locking on a fujiwara arm bar--Sonnette crawling away to break out of the move...Sonnette up--dropkick to the chest of Helmsley! Helmsley back up to his feet...Sonnette sends him into the ropes...telegraph--DDT from Helmsley!! Helmsley back up quickly...Sonnette rising now...Helmsley fires her into the ropes..Helmsley charging in--Sonnette springs off the ropes with a back elbow!! Helmsley down!! Back up...armdrag takeover by Sonnette...Helmsley quickly springing up...Sonnette with an atomic drop!! Helmsley surprised with that one--and Sonnette rams the knee down into the canvas!!
Flyboy: A good place to begin when you take it to Hunter. Injured or no, that's a big part of his offense.
Megan: Sonnette drapes the leg over the bottom rope...springs up and DOWN with her weight across the knee!
Flyboy: Using her ass as a weapon...good idea. Not quite as well as a Rikishi could, but his isn't really very hard..
Megan: Helmsley covered by Sonnette
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One--kickout with little effort on the part of Helmsley...still early in the match...Sonnette gets up....pulls up Hunter...rights on the crown of the head....Hunter retaliates with some of his own as he gets up to his feet...back and forth now...Hunter taking over...sends Sonnette to the corner....charges in--Boot up--Hunter catches it!! He anticipated that counter and--YANKS Sonnette away from the top rope violently! She crashes down back first to the mat!! Helmsley drops the knee into the stomach!! Stomping away now while holding the top rope....boot across the throat now!
Flyboy: Yeesh...al his weight now up under the throat...simple but effective.
Megan: Helmsley pulling her up again now...ramming her into the turnbuckle shoulder first...now a roll up!
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One!
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Kickout!
Flyboy: It'll take a helluva lot more than that....
Megan: I aggree, but more than anything I think he was trying to gauge just how much she can take...pulls her up now...Piledriver being set up--back body drop!! Hunter up quickly....Sonnette hopping backwards...Hunter up--FLYING LARIAT by SONNETTE!! Hunter on the ropes now....rights by Sonnette...a combination of them...winds up--AND ITS OUTTA THERE!! Hunter takes a spill to the outside!!
Flyboy: HA! Hunter on the outside flat on his ass...
Megan: Hera checking on her man now...Sonnette going for--NO!...fake by Sonnette!! She slides out now...Hunter up now...going for the midsection now...Sonnette taking it to him again, though..pulls up Helmsley....IRISH WHIP AND--HELMSLEY THROWN ONTO OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE!!
Flyboy: AHHH!!! I'm outta here...Hunter's the last person I want a lapdance from!
Megan: Sonnette jumping up on our announce table now....hammering away on him now...and we may have to stand the rest of this match, Flyboy.
Flyboy: I'm watching Hunter getting his ass kicked 5 feet away from me...and damn if I don't like what I see!
Megan: Sonnette pulling out your monitor...BUSTED OVER THE HEAD of Hunter!! Rolls off the table in a crumpled heap!!
Flyboy: Is the referee even bothering to count?
Megan: I think considering the importance of this match...he is relaxing the count...Sonnette off the table with a short Money Shot onto Hunter!
Flyboy: He can relax the rules but can't make new ones. Sonnette still can't get a count off that.
Megan: She seems to realize that, but didn't want to waste an offensive opportunity...getting up now...SENDS HUNTER TO THE STEEL STEPS!!
*crash!*
Flyboy: SO FAR...this may be one of my favorite matches of all time!
Megan: Well, par for the course from a brawl that the ring can't contain. Hunter's tough, but for a veteran of Extreme matches, the outside of the ring is a playground. And Hunter favoring the knee...Sonnette grabbing it now...Hunter up on one leg...looking to follow up--THUMB to the eye by Hunter! As old school as it comes...Hunter grabs her now...hammering away now and...up onto his shoulder--DROPS HER FACE FIRST on the apron--TO THE STEEL STEPS NOW!! Rolls her into the ring....Hunter back on the offensive.
Flyboy: Everyone he knows will tell you Hunter's ALWAYS offensive.
Megan: Hunter pulling her up while in the side headlock....hammers on the top of the head now....running BULLDOG by Helmsley now!! Cover!
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One!
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TW--No, kickout by Sonnette!
Flyboy: That was a tricky one, there...going for any kind a headlock is a bigger risk to you than what you can do with it when you face Sonnette.
Megan: A very interesting point indeed. Helmsley pulls up Sonnette...suplex coming up...holds her up high vertical--brings her down! Dropped down hard right on her back, though her quills may have softened the blow. Grabbing her and pulling her up again...scooping her up agai--No, lands behind, shoves him to the ropes--ROLL UP!!
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One!
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TWO!--Kickout!
Flyboy: *gasp* A complicated pinning combination by Sonnette!?
Megan: Yes, I saw it too...Sonnette pulls up Helmsley now...shoving him into the corner....laying in shots to the stomach now...Hunter returns with some knees to the midsection of Sonnette...rights now...hard knee into the gut of Sonnette! Hunter off the ropes now...knee to the side of the head!!
Flyboy: WHOOOO!!...and if he was Brutus Beefcake and this was 1985...he may very well have been able to win the title right there!
Megan: I doubt Brutus Beefcake would have ever won the title EVEN IN 1985...but anyhow, Helmsley back in control...pulls up Sonnette--SINGLE ARM DDT!! Great move by Hunter...up now...off the ropes...KNEEDROP, and Hunter now going for a Dragon Sleeper variation!
Flyboy: Uh oh...this is weird..has Hunter EVER used that move before?!
Megan: Well, it does help to change up your offense...Sonnette attempting to bridge up...Hunter fighting it...Sonnette trying to turn her head around while in that headlock...Hunter trying to keep a firm grip--Elbow by Sonnette...HOISTING UP HUNTER--KNEE BREAKER!! Hunter releases....Sonnette hits the ropes....comes back...clothesline coming u--go behind by Hunter--reverse neckbreak--blocked by Sonnette..backslide coming up...blocked...Hunter breaks free..slips around--kick by Sonnette...INTO THE PORNPLEX! Sonnette has it hooked!
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One!
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TWO!
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Kickout!
Flyboy: With those quills, Sonnette ought to adopt a Swanton to her arsenal.
Megan: I think that move would be pretty lethal...probably why she hasn't decided to do so...Sonnette up and waiting on Hunter...Hunter to his feet...Sonnette hits the ropes...SPEAR COMING UP--Hunter leapfrogs over!...Sonnette back up...ducks the haymaker by Hunter...waistlock!! Back elbow by Hunter...another!! Spins around AND NAILS THE REVERSE NECKBREAKER!!!
Flyboy: DAMN...it looked like he nearly snapped her head clean off!!
Megan: Hunter pulls up Sonnette by the arm...more knees to the midsection...Knife edge chops to the chest!
"WHOOOOOOOO!!!, WHOOOOOO!!!, WHOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Megan: Sonnette sent to the ropes...now for a tilt-a-whirl--HEADSCISSORS from Sonnette!! Hunter thoroughly shocked with that one!! Sonnette going after Hunter now...caught though......BELLY TO BELLY SIDE SUPLEX perfectly executed! Sonnette up slowly now...favoring the back...Hunter sends her into the ropes...Sonnette off the ropes..POWERSLAM from Hunter!!
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One!
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TWO!
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SHOULDER UP BY THE CHAMPION!!
Flyboy: Still at it and still the toughest b*tch alive!! Come on, Sonnie!!
Megan: Sonnette fighting her way back up....Hunter hammers away on Sonnette...back and forth now....going back to the bone basics...Irish whip by Hunter...Sonnette reverses....Hunter into the ropes....Sonnette ducks the clothesline...behind now...BACKDROP BY SONNETTE!! Sonnette backdrops Hunter...now going up top...perched high...this crowd at a fever pitch...grinding now...MONEY SHOT!! MONEY SHOT!! The real deal from the top!!
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One!
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TWO!!
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Kick ouuuuuuuuuuuuuut!!!
Flyboy: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Megan: Hunter kicks out! Hunter kicks out...and Sonnette looking rather frustrated...
Flyboy: I'd be too...
Megan: Pulls up Hunter...sends him to the corner...stomping away now...she's probably going to...yes...setting him up for the Sonic Boom...KNEE INTO THE LOWER EXTREMITIES!! Not quite the same effect as a low blow but effective...Sonnette down near the ropes...wait...is that...DO MY EYES DECIEVE ME?!
Flyboy: I don't think so...it's the man himself!!
Megan: Ric Flair down at ringside!! CHEAP SHOT ON SONNETTE!! Right in the side of the temple...Sonnette down!! UP now..walks into the Chin Crusher!! Hunter pulls her up....into the ropes...PEDIGREE!! PEDIGREE!!
Flyboy: I may hurl..right now...
Megan:
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ONE!!
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TWO!!
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THREE!!
*ding, ding, ding*
Megan: NEW..WORLD...CHAMPION!!
"The Winner of this match up...and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW EAW World Champion...'The Decadent' Hunter...Hearst...Helmsley!!"
Flyboy: NOOOOOOOOOOO!! THIS SUCKS!! THIS SUCKS ASS!!! THIS SUCKS ASS AND *bleep* and *bleep* too!!
"Primal Concrete Sledge" by Pantera cues up as Hunter is handed the World Title...he rolls out...favoring his knee a bit, and high fives Ric Flair as the crowd goes nuts!!
Megan: But...what IS Ric Flair doing here?! Is he in the EAW?! Is this some sort of cross over with the new WCW?! JUST WHAT IS THIS....
Fade...