PREPARE FOR THE WORST
LIVE AT THE ROSE GARDEN IN PORTLAND, OREGON!
2/10/2K2
Your hosts are Megan Eko and Paul Heyman!
Megan: Welcome everyone! We are LIVE from Portland, Oregon, here in the ROSE GARDEN for EAW Cataclysm!
Paul: And on a night we will will bear witness to an EXTREME title match, a No DQ affair between a legendary wrestler and his soon-to-be-legendary father, a title unification match, a HELL'S ASYLUM MATCH....let me catch my breath...to two of the more formidable forces in their companies going one on one, PLUS a World Title match for the ages, there is NO OTHER PLACE I'd rather be than in EAW right now--except for maybe in a thriving ECW. But that's neither here nor there..
"Dual of the Fates" (composed by John Williams) then cues up...
Paul: And we're going to start off the right in a big way, with the EXTREEEEEEEEEEEME Title on the line!!
Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall, Extreme Rules, and is for the EAW Extreme Title! Introducing first, the challenger, making his residence in Miami, Florida...he stands six foot even and weighs in at two hundred and thirty five pounds--Alexander Nagol!!
Paul: Nagol is the ONLY wrestler in EAW with an undefeated streak--and he'll be taking on a former EAW World Champion! What a match in the making!
Megan: True, Alexander IS undefeated, but his opponent is not at all happy about being so quickly swept out of main eventing...
Paul: And WHY should he? I don't blame him.
"Zan" then cues up...
Capetta: And now, the champion...from Parts Unknown...he stands six foot even and weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds--"The Harbinger of Vengeance," MAIKU!!!
MAIKU heads down towards the ring to the booing of the crowd...
"Back the Fuck Up" by Fear Factory cues up as Bullwhip comes out.
Paul: Wot the?! What's HE doing here? I thought we sent him packing to another farm league?
Megan: Well, Bullwhip, who got his foot in the door of EAW thanks to Chainsaw, and who has a history with MAIKU in CAPW, seems to be making an unscheduled appearance...
MAIKU starts yelling at him as he responds with, "No need to panic bitch, I'm not gonna kick your ass like last time...yet." Bullwhip goes over for Color Commentary, putting on a headset...
Bullwhip: Heya, babe--my man Paul...howzyalldoin?
Megan: Quite well, thank you. And we're set to see Nagol challenge MAIKU for the Extreme Title--a substitution for Crash Holly who couldn't--
Bullwhip: *snort* Yeah--heard about him bitchin'--whatyagonna do? Need to make replacements...
Paul: I'm confident that EITHER of these men are terrific champions--of course, Nagol is just recieving his first shot at this title...
Bullwhip: But MAIKU isn't one to really hold on to any gold for any length of time--I don't think that will change tonight...
*ding, ding*
Nagol doesn't have his Shintai with him presently. MAIKU, in full paint and all, has brought barbed wire and a few steel chairs...tables are readily available at ringside...
At the bell, the two collide mid-ring, unloading with flying fists--Nagol's much faster, however. Nagol takes control, firing his opponent into the ropes, and catches him off the ropes--slamming him down HARD on his back. He grabs the legs and flips over into a pinning predicament--but gets a one. MAIKU kicks out, and gets back up to his feet--hitting a sidekick to the thigh of Nagol, putting him down to one knee. MAIKU off the ropes, and a rolling neck snap puts down Nagol. Roll over into a cover by MAIKU--but another one count. MAIKU measures Nagol, then takes the steel chair and goes for an Arabian Facebuster--Nagol rolls out of the way. MAIKU up, FLAME LINE by Nagol--off the ropes--senton splash misses--MAIKU up--drops a leg...then goes up top--2nd rope elbow drop, and a cover...nearly a two.
MAIKU sends Nagol to the ropes...and sets up the chair...runs, uses it as a springboard, and
Megan: ...MONKEY FLIPS NAGOL out of the corner!!! ONTO THE SET UP STEEL CHAIR!!--and COLLAPSES IT!!
Bullwhip: F*************!!!
Paul: OH YEAH--in the game of Extreme, MAIKU just made Nagol hit the bench!
MAIKU goes up top...to the THIRD ROPE...and goes for a MOONSAULT PRESS--but Nagol rolls off the chair, making MAIKU land on the chair and collapse it the rest of the way. A "HOLY SHIT" chant starts...and Bullwhip gets a chuckle out of it.
Nagol goes up to the top rope, and as MAIKU recovers, he hits a top rope Flame Line. He whips MAIKU to the corner--then hits a Sting-style splash. Then backs up, and rakes his quills along MAIKU's body, causing dozens of small cuts and scrapes. MAIKU shoves him away--then goes for a flying clothesline--Nagol ducks--and hits an ULTRA NOVA on MAIKU!!
Paul: DISGUSTING!! USING THE MAN'S OWN MOVE against him!
Bullwhip: All's fair in love, war, and duels to near-death, Paul.
Cover by Nagol--two count only. Nagol takes what's left of the steel chair, and winds up--MAIKU up--DROPKICKS it into the face of Nagol!! He grabs the other steel chair...waits on Nagol--and hits a SHINING WIZARD into Nagol's face as he holds the steel chair over the attacking knee!!
MAIKU showboats, and taunts the crowd, before covering Nagol, and gets a LONG two.
MAIKU removes a corner turnbuckle pad, and yanks up Nagol...setting him up for a catapult--Nagol shoves him off with both feet, sending him back-first into the corner--then arm-drags him out of the corner--and drops a leg as he locks on an armbar. MAIKU slips out of the hold, reversing to a hammerlock--Nagol back elbows--MAIKU sends him to the ropes--leg lariat by MAIKU!! Nagol up, and a roundhouse kick across the temple from Nagol. Nagol hits the ropes--hits a flying jump kick into MAIKU's chest. MAIKU rolls back and kippups--nearly sets up Nagol with a suplex--back body drop--and MAIKU DROPPED back-first onto a steel chair!
Megan: Nagol takes the small roll of barbed wire, and fashions it into a loop, making a whip out of it, and giving MAIKU several lashes with it!
Paul: As "Good Ol' J-R" would say, "WHIPPING HIM LIKE A GUVMINT MULE!!"--what the HELL is a government mule, anyway?
Bullwhip: Damned if I know...
Nagol then ties MAIKU's shoulders up--and hits a FULL NELSON DRIVER on the mat...covers...and gets a long two of his own...
He pulls up MAIKU and sets him up in the corner, letting loose with with kicks to the midsection, then chops across the chest.
He grabs a chair, and unfolds it, and sets up MAIKU for a superplex...MAIKU fights back...
Megan: and..ULTRA NOVA II by MAIKU!!
Paul: And TURNABOUT is FAIR PLAY!!!
Bullwhip: SH*T!! There goes another chair--does EAW order those damn things by the gross?
Paul: Dunno--we used to get great deals in ECW on them by the dozen.
Both men are two wiped out to to make a cover, but MAIKU stirs first, and manages to grasp the barbed wire that Nagol used as a weapon. As Nagol is up to his knees, MAIKU wraps it around his neck, choking him with it...then...after teasing an airplane spin neckbreaker...
Megan: ...VAULTS over the top rope--AND MAIKU HANGING NAGOL WITH THAT BARBED WIRE!!
Paul: MAIKU throwing a necktie party for one--and TAKING IT...TO THE EXTREME!!!--and he holds on JUST LONG ENOUGH to devastate Nagol--what a nice guy!
Bullwhip: Man...that is ONE sick bastard...
Megan: I think you should have realized that what he staple-gunned a heart formation onto Blink. ^_^
Bullwhip: Yeah, but he keeps remindin' me--back on..COVER BY MAIKU!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Paul: NO!! ONE SECOND AWAY!! ONE SECOND AWAY!
MAIKU, frustrated, pulls up Nagol, and hits a Razor Snap Suplex--floatover--but Nagol manages to get in a well-placed knee into the groin.
Nagol rolls MAIKU off himself, then grabs the barbed wire, wrapping it around the bared turnbuckle, then hoists him up in the air--dropping him face-first upon it. He then attempts a German Suplex using the bottom ropes to give him added height--but MAIKU mule kicks him, and then sets up and HITS a Tiger Driver!!!
MAIKU goes up top...
Megan: SWANTON BOMB from the Extreme Champion!! A cover...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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NO!!!
Bullwhip: ALMOST...damn...how much closer can you get...Alex back up...MAIKU going for more of those crazy kicks--caught--ENZUI GIRI by Nagol!! Grabbing him by the hair--HAHAHAHHAHA!!
Paul: Nagol VICIOUSLY ramming the champ's face into that turnbuckle...set up...FALCON--NO! 360 BRAINBUSTER by the challenger...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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THR--NO!!!
Nagol goes out on the outside...setting up a table, then taking another table--this one not folded out, and stacking it ON TOP of the previous one...Nagol up on the apron--MAIKU recovering--back up--snaps NAGOL'S HEAD down across the top rope...MAIKU is bloody and tiring, but sees a chance to be made when Nagol lands on top of the tables...
He runs across the far ropes...back towards the other ropes...MAIKU springs over the top and splashes onto Nagol--making contact but not breaking the table--actually sliding off of it and into the guardrail!!
Megan: Nagol and MAIKU sprawled out here on the outside--but MAIKU making a death-defying dive out of the ring--if he can only make the cover--but it could be a Pyrrhic victory.
Bullwhip: A WHAT kind?!
Paul: *sigh* Pyrrhus was this ancient king, and--WHOA!! They're both getting back up?!
Bullwhip: I'll be damned--MAIKU's a tougher SOB than I give him credit for...
Megan: MAIKU now--LOW BLOW on Nagol...setting him up--and an ATOMIC DROP on the safety railing--Nagol crotched! MAIKU weilding that steel chair now...up on the apron...running leap--RUNNING, DIVING CHAIRSHOT ACROSS THE FACE OF NAGOL!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!
Paul: FINALLY you give him credit he deserves...
Bullwhip: Still doesn't change the fact that he's a dick...
MAIKU then taunts Bullwhip, saying a few things that are clearly hostile in nature, before flipping Bullwhip the finger.
Bullwhip: Oh, you MOTHERF***er!!!
Megan: MAIKU setting up that table--
Paul: GOOOOOORE! GOOOOOOORE! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!! Bullwhip Gored MAIKU through that table!!
Megan: A clear miscalculation on MAIKU's part--but this is an Extreme Match...
Paul: Come on, can't we make an exception for BLATANT INTERFERENCE?!
Megan: Sorry, rules are rules...
Bullwhip: *cough* Bitch ain't so high n' mighty now, is he?
Megan: MAIKU lying in a pile of debris right in front of us...Nagol up...bleeding heavily, but seeing an opportunity...setting up a table of his own...and rolling MAIKU onto it!!
Paul: Nagol up top...MAIKU fighting back--suplex attempt by Nagol--blocked by MAIKU--and SUPLEX--but doesn't break the table...MAIKU going for the top rope--Nagol crotching MAIKU...
MAIKU nearly falls off, but manages to pull himself up onto the apron--Nagol charges, hooks him--
Megan: SPINNING DOUBLE ARM TORNADO DDT!!---THROUGH THE TABLE!! A version of the Unexpected Explosion--COVER BY NAGOL!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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THREE!!!!
Paul: NOOOO!!!
Bullwhip: Heheh...YES!
"Duel of the Fates" cues up again...
Capetta: The winner of this match...and NEEEEEEEEEEW EAW Extreme Champion--Alexander Nagol!!!
Megan: And the STILL undefeated Nagol has just WON his first EAW title!
Paul: But HOW can he ACCEPT such a TAINTED victory?
Bullwhip: Simple--MAIKU's an ass and he deserved that...
Bullwhip drops the headset and leaves as we fade in to some promotional clips...
--
Megan: Now it's time for a match that I thought wouldn't happen, Ric Flair will battle his own son David in a No Disqualification match.
Heyman: A father vs. son match is always a brutal thing to witness…as I can tell you from seeing one before in the World Wrestling Federation. And with two real wrestlers in a match this time, it should be interesting.
Megan: Well, I wouldn't go as far as to call David a "wrestler", but true.
"Also Sprach Zarathursta" cues up over the speaker system to a great amount of cheers from the crowd, as the legend himself Ric Flair comes out to the ring.
Megan: A very positive reaction here tonight for Ric Flair, despite the things he has done in his past. But that's to be expected from all the accomplishments that Ric Flair has done over the course of his career.
Heyman: No doubt about that, but also considering who he is facing is despised, that could be another reason behind him being cheered.
As soon as Heyman finishes saying that, which happens about the same time Ric finishes his entrance…the strains of Limp Bizkit's "My Way" starts to play over the speakers…and from out of the entryway comes David Flair, the MPRW Title over his shoulder…to a huge reception of boos.
Heyman: Though in my expert opinion, the reaction that young David Flair is getting is WAY too harsh. Sure he's done bad things recently, but who hasn't?
Megan: I don't think that's why David Flair's getting booed, Paul. It's because they just don't like him at all. But the arrogant younger Flair is enjoying the reaction. Possibly because he doesn't care…
Heyman: And also because he has a special strategy of what he's gonna do against his father.
Megan: David in the ring now…and staring down his father…the bell rings, and the match is on.
The match starts off with, probably not surprisingly, Ric Flair taking advantage of his son's inexperience and taking him down to the mat. Ric manages to get a few good moves on his son, including a few of his signature chops in the corner. The referee goes to pull Ric away from David from his relentless attack, and as he does David Flair take advantage of the distraction with a clothesline to the back of the head. As Ric goes down, David takes advantage of the situation and starts to remove the top turnbuckle pad.
After the pad is removed, David goes to work on attacking his father, trying his hardest to put his dad in a compromising position…mostly concentrating on the legs of his father with various moves…including knee-breakers and leg stretches. Ric takes a lot of the moves, not giving up at all, and finally manages to get an inside cradle on his son, getting a 2 count. David shakes off his surprise, going in for another move, but Ric manages to get up to his feet and take his son down with a good suplex. Ric goes in for a knee drop, but David is ready, tripping his father and catching him onto the top rope. David takes a chance, and catches his father in the back with a cross body, then slides out of the ring and trips Ric…taking him to the corner and putting a turnbuckle figure four on him, holding him for a good minute.
When David finally does let go of the move, Ric is holding his legs in pain. David manages to grab a steel chair from the outside of the ring and goes to take it into the ring. However, as soon as he tries swinging the chair at his father, Ric kicks with his less weakened leg right into David's stomach. Ric takes this time to work on David's legs now, getting a vicious look in his face as he brutalizes his son. David is groggy for a bit, and Ric takes the chair that David brought into the ring, blasting David in the head with it, taking him down. Ric signals to the crowd for the Figure Four Leg-lock, but David somehow is conscious enough to pull out a sneaky move, pushing the referee into the exposed turnbuckle. The back of the referee's head hits the turnbuckle hard, and the referee is KO'd. However, Ric still attempts going for the Figure Four Leg-lock, holding it for a little bit…then he realizes that the referee is out and lets go of the move, trying to revive the referee. In the meantime, David goes, hobbling, to the outside of the ring, and talks with the ring announcer for a bit…
…before taking off his T-shirt…revealing an official EAW Referee's shirt. David slides back into the ring and grabs the Steel Chair that he brought in and Ric used…smashes it hard into his father's back. As soon as Ric starts holding his back in pain, David grabs his father, and with great strength for David, DDT's his father right into the dropped chair. David is quick to knock the regular referee out of the ring, and smirks…grabbing his father's legs and puts him in the Figure Four Leg Lock…and as soon as Ric's shoulders are on the mat, David slaps the mat 3 times quickly…and the bell rings.
Megan: The hell? What is this about? Why did the timekeeper ring the bell?
Heyman: Well, why not wait and see? Could explain the attire of David as well.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, David Flair has informed me that he has obtained his official referee's license, and is now an officially sanctioned EAW Referee. Therefore, the winner of this match is David Flair!"
Megan: I can't believe it…it's impossible.
Heyman: Believe it Megan, because David Flair has just outsmarted his father, and won the match!
Megan: And look at David Flair, celebrating like he actually beat his father in pure wrestling. This is…
All of the sudden, "What You Got" by Reveille cues up over the speakers, and slowly from the entryway comes Jay Miller.
Heyman: Now wait a damn minute, what is this all about? This isn't Jay's time!
Megan: I'm not sure myself, but David Flair is seemingly BEGGING Jay Miller to come into the ring…but from behind…it's Mike Action! Low blow on the distracted Flair! Action grabbing David now…SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!
Heyman: Now what the Hell? Why the hell are they attacking an innocent wrestler post match?
Megan: I guess they have their reasons Paul…now Jay coming into the ring as David gets to his feet…TWIST OF TALENT! Now going up to the top rope…but someone pulls him out before it becomes the Superhuman talent.
Heyman: SAAAAAY! Look at the new girl!
Indeed, a beautiful red-haired girl wearing a gorgeous blue blouse pulls David out of the ring, preventing him from getting hit with the Five Star Frog Splash. As David walks out with the new girl, Jay and Mike stare down the young Flair…checking up on the older Flair, as "My Way" plays in the background.
Megan: Well, this mystery woman saved David in a way from Jay and Mike, but I bet that's not far from over.
Heyman: And you can bet that there'll be hell to pay with Jay and Mike attacking an official sanctioned referee…not to mention EAW's New Living Legend and MPRW Public Access Champion.
Megan: We'll be back shortly folks.
(OOC: The results of the poll gave a rather inconclusive answer. It was clearly Triple Crown Heavyweight Title shortly after the deadline...but the next day it changed. Since it is too late to put up a new poll, I decided to flip a coin....)
One title...a long time EAW mainstay, one of the VERY FIRST titles in EAW. The other, borne from two separate titles--the EAW Television and European Titles. At EAW Cataclsym, the People's Title, and the title formerly made up of the European and Television Titles will be merged in a Title Unification Match. The EAW People's Title--held by Kane. And the EAW International Title--held by his dimensional twin Kaye...
One of them will emerge from EAW Catclysm as the EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion..."Burning Inside" by Static-X cues up...
Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is a title unification match, for the new EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Championship!
Introducing first, the International Champion, from Death Valley, Texas...she stands six foot one inch and weighs in at two hundred and fifteen pounds--KAYE!!
Fireworks explode from the stage as the "Hot Pink Machine" makes her way out, with the newly-won EAW International Title...
Megan: Welcome back folks, as we are about to witness many become one--a title unification match...a TRUE unification match.
Paul: Indeed--very much like ECW only needed a select few titles, we will phase out two titles--formerly 3--into one MUCH more prestigious one...
Kaye climbs inside the ring, and then
"A Violent Reaction" by American Head Charge cues up...and out from the back through "hellfire and brimstone"...
Capetta: And HER opponent, from parts unknown...he is the EAW People's Champion. He stands seven foot even and weighs in at three hundred and twenty-six pounds--"The Violent Reactor"...KANE!!!
Paul: A true MONSTER in human form...and despite her more-dainty appearance, Kaye's no pushover either...
Megan: A sibling rivalry of sorts to be settled here in this ring...and a new title will be borne from it as well...
Kaye and Kane have a stare down in the center of the ring...then Kane begins to draw his arms up towards the air, then brings them down; not only do the turnbuckles explode into flame, but the ROPES do as well!!
Megan: What in the hell?!...literally?!
Kane grabs the referee by the shirt collar...who then defers to Capetta...
Capetta: *ahem*...Ladies and gentlemen...due to a personal request...this match will NOW take place under INFERNO MATCH rules!!
Paul: ...damn...
Megan: Apparently Kane is still upset over...certain...personal issues in Kaye's past...
*ding, ding*
Kane and Kaye slug it out ferociously to start...Kane sends Kaye against the ropes--not enough to catch--and tilt-a-whirl slams her. Then mounts her to punch her repeatedly. Kaye shoves him off...sets him up for a suplex--he tries to suplex her onto the ring ropes, but she changes direction so that she only lands on the mat. Kane pulls her up again, and sets her up for a shoulderbreaker--Kaye lands behind him--and pulls off a reverse neckbreaker. She drops a leg and then pulls up Kane by the throat--and hoists him up in the air...tossing him towards the turnbuckle. She stomps away at the ribs, then scoops him up and tries to slams his back onto the ring ropes--but Kane lands on his feet, and armdrags Kaye. He fires her into the ropes--hits a Big Boot, and then stomps her hard. He pulls her up by the throat, and locks on a blatant chokehold....slamming (but not quite chokeslamming) the back of her head into the mat--then holding his weight on top of her.
Kaye grabs her arm, and manages to eventually pull him off of her, then climbs on top, hitting him with body shots, and dropping a pair of knees into the midsection. Both of them get back up to their feet...face off again--Kane shoves her away--Kane comes back--HARD blow across the face by Kane. Kane then attepts an Atomic Drop...Kaye counters with a knee to the midsection--sets him up--STYGIAN BOMB!! She scoops him up, and carries him towards the ropes--Kane fights back, forcing her to drop him, then attempts to powerbomb HER onto the ropes--a rough version of a Frankensteiner by Kaye stops him...
Kaye picks up Kane, and sends him against the ropes, hitting the Flyswatter. Kaye reaches down to pick him up--SHE gets grasped by the throat by Kane, who then gets up to his feet, and shoves her into the the corner. Kane charges in, hitting a clothesline, then firing Kaye towards the far corner--reversal--Kane into the corner...Kaye with a back elbow...she goes to set up a suplex--Kane counters--NEARLY suplexes her onto the ropes--but just counters with a DDT. Kane goes up to the top rope...and as Kaye recovers, hits a flying lariat off the top. He drags her towards the ropes, Kaye surprises him with a drop toe hold that nearly sends his head into the ropes, but only gets him down to his hands and knees. Kaye acts quick to grab the ankle of Kane, and slam his knees into the midsection. Then HEADBUTTS him (a bit low...). She then sets up a catapult, she fires Kane...but falls short of sending him into the ropes...
Kane up...who battles back on his sister with a thrust to the throat, then sends him to the ropes--hitting a POWERSLAM...THEN...
Megan: Kane setting up his "sister" for the Powerdriver...aaaaaand...PERFECTLY EXECUTED!! ?
Paul: ....HOLY SHhhhhhhhyow!
Kane attempts to then shove Kaye's head into the flames...
Kaye back elbows Kane, and rolls out of the ring, under the flames, and trips up the charging Kane, and takes a few moments to catch a breather...
She drags him out of the ring, then rams him to the steel stairs...she charges in--Kane gets up a big boot, then goes for a suplex--Kaye with a go behind--BACKDROPS KANE onto the steel stairs!!!
Kaye sends Kane into the ring...then picks him up...and signals for a chokeslam...Kane responds by grabbing HER by the throat...
Megan: And we have a unusual situation here...which of these two--BOTH GOING--CHOKESLAM!!! BOTH of them went for it at the same time--and they CHOKESLAMMED each OTHER!?!?! That is something I've NEVER seen...
Paul: Me neither...even that epic houseshow battle when 911 and One Man Gang faced off...
Megan: ......right...now up to their knees...slugging out out as if they were deadly rivals rather than blood siblings...Kane up first...Kaye up--but a bit faster--Kane whips Kaye to the ropes--back now--duck under--swing into a DDT!!! Kaye back up...now setting up Kane...and...and...THE BURNING RAIN!!!! THE BURNING RAIN by Kaye!! And rolling Kane towards the ropes...Kane springing up...CLOTHESLINE...Kaye back up--KICK--DDT!! Kaye picking up her "brother" Kane...setting her up for anoth--NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX...Kane countering...picking up Kaye now...GORILLA PRESS!!!...DROPS her now...Kane picking her up now...signalling that he's going to finish her up...and...his old staple...the TOMBSTONE!! Has her up--NO NO NO NO!! Reversal!!...Kaye now about to finish him instead--NO!! ANOTHER REVERSAL!?!
Paul: Kane reversing the reversal now...and--NO!! Kaye takes control of the situation now--drops Kane FACE FIRST across the ropes...and Kane on fire!!
*ding, ding*
Megan: And a NEW CHAMPION IS CROWNED!!!
Capetta: Here is your winner...and the FIRST EVER EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion...KAAAAAAAAYE!!
Megan: And an unbelievable accomplishment...NARROWLY beating Kane, even after he took a Burning Rain--and after SHE suffered the Powerdriver--to come out on top tonight...
Paul: Kaye leaping over the rope rope now...and grabbing a fire extinguisher...
Kaye turns the fire extinguisher on the ring ropes, then slides back into the ring, using it on Kane to put out the flames...Kaye then goes to help him up...
Megan: Kaye, showing some good sportsmanship--Kane grabs Kaye by the throat....CHOKESLAM!!
Not even close to done he picks her up, sets her up for the Powerdriver and delivers it with a kind of raw fury never before seen from the Big Red Machine!! Kane then backward flips out of the ring and storms out, leaving Kaye in the middle of the ring a new champion, but not looking like one at all.
Paul: I guess this means the family reunion is over....
Megan: Hmm...we'll be back shortly fans...
More promotional ads...
Up next! The PWF's Bane makes a special appearance taking on EAW's Lance Storm!!
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Megan: ...and we're back...Sasori helped Kaye out of the ring--but it seems that Kane is upset about a lot more than losing the People's Title and the chance to be the first Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion...
Paul: Well, as we saw with Ric and David--family business can be UGLY business. And I don't just mean Kane's sister-in-law.
Megan: *shudder*
"The End is the Beginning is the End" by Smashing Pumpkins...
Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is a HELL'S ASYLUM MATCH!! Introducing first, from parts unknown...he stands seven foot even and weighs in at four hundred and fifty pounds--BANE!!!
The Cell looms overhead, and the ring seems to be filled with weapons from the previous Extreme Match, as well as the remaining UNBROKEN tables...
Megan: And a serious grudge match to be settled here...or HOPEFULLY to be settled here.
Paul: And on few occasions will two men fight more ferociously--than if there is a woman involved. And Akiko was stringing this poor guy along...
Megan: Since WHEN?! It seems she made their relationship VERY clear...
Paul: This from a gender that finds it perfectly acceptable to hug and kiss as PLATONIC gestures...
Megan: This from a gender that likes to tattoo itself.
Paul: WOMEN get tattoos too!!
Megan: Billy and Chuck hug and kiss...
Paul: I mean, two STRAIGHT men don't hug and kiss. Well...kiss anyway. Nothing wrong with Mr. Austin's hugs...
Bane is booed heavily as he gets inside the ring, and the Cell is slowly lowered...
"Oh Canada" cues up...
Capetta: Introducing his opponent, now...from CAAAAAAAAALGARY...............ALBERTA, CANADA...he stands six foot even and weighs in at two hundred and thirty-two pounds--LANCE STORM!!!
Lance enters through the curtain to a HUGE ovation...
Paul: Although I'm a bit partial to Bane, I can't deny the toughness and skill of a former ECW alumni!! One half of the Impact Playerz! A consumnate technical wrestlers and one of the finest tag team wrestlers on the planet! LANCE STOOOOOOOOOORM!! Megan: And his skill compared to a ROCK is like...well...Ric Flair in his prime versus David Flair right now.
Paul: But who WON that match?
Megan: *grumble* David...
Paul: Yeah...and I'll even debate that skill comparison, but just to show you...
Megan: No way in hell that Bane is smarter than Lance though. New juice or no...
Paul: We'll see about that...it's time to once again get EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME!!!
As Lance enters the ring, Bane immediates goes after him, as the Cell lowers on them both...
*ding, ding*
(Author's note: For those of you unsure of what a Hell's Asylum Match is...it's a Hell in a Cell wrapped with barbed wire and electrified. The ropes are also replaced with barbed wire, and as an option, either set ablaze or not. Weapons of various kinds are allowed and are scattered about the ring, such as staple guns, chairs wrapped with barbed wire, table wrapped with barbed wire, and other sadistic devices. The match is set in Last Man Standing rules; whoever doesn't get up after a ten count loses the match.
As the match begins, Storm goes for a double leg takedown, but Bane shoves him off...Storm hits the far ropes, and tries for a chopblock--misses, and Bane stomps on his back. Then tries to do the same for his head--Lance catches his leg and yanks him over--grabbing the ankle. Lance then Dragon Screws Bane--drops a leg into the groin, and mounts him to get in a few quick shots. Bane shoves him off...then gets up to one knee. Storm dropkicks him in the knee--Bane springs back up--Lance--CAUGHT by the throat by Bane!! Bane grabs Storm and TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE with ease, HURLING him back-first against the cell. Lance them splats on the mat on the floor, and Bane leisurely exits the ring. As Lance gets up, Bane grabs him by the back of his tights, giving him a "heave ho" head-first into the steel steps!! Bane stands on Lance's back, then jogs in place on top of him, before rolling him on the stomach and stomping him in the midsection.
He pulls Lance up, and goes to ram him into the Cell--Lance blocks, rams him face first into the cage, and rakes him across the links--but the mask prevents any damage...Bane blocks a bulldog attempt, and backdrops Lance...
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and Lance gets back up--elbowing Bane in the stomach on the way up. He attempts a suplex, but Bane pounds on his back, then attempts to whip him into the stairs--but Lance reverses, sending HIM into them...Lance charges in--DROPKICKs him in the knees. Lance springs off the apron with a splash before rolling off to allow the count...
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Bane gets up in a hurry, chasing after Lance, who dives back into the ring--Bane grabs him by the ankle--but Lance pushes his feet against the rope to counteract it--then yanks his leg back in, ramming Bane's midsection to the apron, then kicking him in the face. Lance back up...he goes up top--HITS A MISSILE DROPKICK!!
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4--Bane back up--catches a charging Lance and powerslams him. He rolls Lance into the ring...then steps over the top rope--running body splash connects on Lance. Bane picks up Lance, and hits a side backbreaker, then goes up to the second rope, SPLASHING on top of Lance...
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Lance gets back up...Bane charges his way--but Lance ducks--Drop Toe Holding him and snapping his neck across the 2nd rope. Lance picks him up by the feet and kicks him in the midsection, before YANKING him from the ropes. Bane shoves him away with his powerful leg strength, sending Lance into the corner.
Megan: Lance in a predicament here...Bane going for the--
Paul: GOOOOOORE!! GOOOOOOOORE!! GOOO--INTO THE RINGPOST!!
Megan: Storm from behind now...pulling up Bane--TURNING HIS MASK AROUND....
Paul: CHEAP ROTTEN TRICK!!!
Megan: Lance warming up now--Bane trying to readjust--SUPERKICK by Storm!!!
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5!!!
Lance goes up to the top rope, and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK on Bane...stomps away on rapidly...he goes out onto the apron...
Waits for Bane to get back up--SPRINGBOARD MISSILE HEEL--LANCE CAUGHT BY BANE--and a BACKBREAKER by Bane!! Bane yanks up Storm, holding him up by the throat--and BALDO BOMBS him in the center of the ring on the remnants of a steel chair...
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But Lance gets up...grabbing some barbed wire...Bane pulls him up--but Lance smacks him with the barbed wire--then wraps it around his throat, then hits a neckbreaker on the steel chair. He then grabs the steel chair, separates Bane's legs...then, to the cheering of the crowd---DRIVES the barbed wire into Bane's groin using the steel chair!!
Paul: And now it is getting VERY personal...Lance finally getting into the spirit of things...
Megan: Bane in a very bad way now....he gets back up...Lance attacking him on the back now...BANE HITTING THAT BUTTON ON HIS HEAD!!
Paul: NOW it is ON!!!
Megan: Lance THROWN off of Bane now...Bane now even LARGER....Lance off the ropes--CAUGHT...and a HUGE Gorilla Press now...INTO a GUTBUSTER!!!...Bane grabbing Lance by the throat...CHOKESLAM on that flattened out table...
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LANCE UP...Bane charging--Lance between the legs....snatches the chair...against the ropes...COMING BACK--LANCE WRAPS THAT STEEL CHAIR around the head of Bane!!!
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Lance goes up top in preparation of Bane coming to...hits a JUMP SWING DDT!!...Bane, still "turboed up"...gets back up--and Lance gets back up to walk into a--SET-UP....and....
Paul: A RUNNING AWESOMEBOMB by Bane!!....but Bane not satisfied...he's picking Lance up....now going up top!!
Megan: This is INSANE...Bane up on the top rope...Lance set up...
Paul: BAAAAAAAAAAANE BOMB!!! THROUGH THE RIIIIIIIING!!!
Megan: .....and....Bane with the CREATIVELY named "Bane Bomb"...putting Lance THROUGH the ring?!?!
Paul: That HAS to be it...
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Megan: Bane crawling out of the hole now...
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LANCE STANDING UP!! Has Bane by the ankle now?!!
Lance crawls out of the hole, delivering headbutts to the face of Bane, then sends him to the ropes...hitting the far ropes...Bane attempts to catch him, but Lance swings behind and locks on a Cobra Clutch...and YANKS OUT Bane's pump--restoring him back to Antonio-size...
Megan: Bane has now been LITERALLY cut down to size--shrinking before our very eyes...Lance may have him here with this Cobra Clutch...Lance beaten badly but still in this match...COBRA CLUTCH SUPLEX NOW!!
Paul: INCREDIBLE!!!...and Lance putting a table over the hole...and...ANOTHER one on top of it...
Megan: Lance grabbing the barbed wire...WRAPPING IT AROUND THE SKULL of Ba--Antonio now...and this does NOT look good--if you're Antonio.
Paul: And Lance Storm showing that the blood of the brotherhood of Extreme STILL pumps strongly through his veins, unlike CERTAIN FORMER STARS who have their veins clogged with the cholestoral called "sports entertainment" (he says that with the same disgust voice he used in the pre-InVasion "shoot" interview).
Megan: And...Lance setting him up on the second rop--DEEEEEEEP IMPACT!!! FROM THE SECOND ROPE!!...THROUGH TWO TABLES AND INTO THAT GAPING HOLE IN THE RING!!!
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Megan: Lance out the ring, raising his hand...
10!!!...
*ding, ding, ding*
Capetta: The winner of this match...LAAAAAAAAAANCE STOOOOOOOOOORM!!!
Megan: And Akiko SURE to be thrilled at this result...
Paul: But poor Bane gets kicked to the curb by that ungrateful...grrrr!!
Megan: Easy there, Paul...
Paul: Grr...I'm alright...Ooooh...
Megan: Well, we REALLY need to break now--to clean up the mess and repair the mat. :P In a short while, folks!
--
Suddenly, "Man in the Box" cues up over the arena speakers, and out to a chorus of boos comes Ryan Hardley, clad in his Raven-esque attire.
Megan: Well, we're scheduled to have Iceberg vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley next, but it seems first, we're going to be joined by one of the PWF owners, Ryan Hardley first.
Heyman: It's nice to have someone respectable coming to the ringside area to offer his words of wisdom for us.
Ryan takes a seat and puts on a headset as "Instruments of Destruction" cues up over the speakers.
Hardley: It's a pleasure for me to boost your buy-rates by putting myself and one of my close friends Iceberg onto your program.
Megan: Iceberg coming out now, looking determined in her mission to destroy Hunter. With what happened earlier with Flair vs. Flair, anything is possible.
Heyman: I personally have no preference for this match, but I have a gut feeling that Iceberg will have an advantage here.
Ryan: You can bet all your money on it, Heyman.
"Instruments of Destruction" fades out soon after to "Primal Concrete Sledge" which brings out Hunter Hearst Helmsley…alone…who charges to the ring for the attack.
The match starts off with a slugfest between Iceberg and Hunter, the two fighters pretty equal fist to fist, until Iceberg slams her knee hard into Hunter's gut, causing the Female of Ice to get an advantage. When she gets the advantage, a sadistic smirk appears on her face, and she starts to play with Hunter like he was a jobber.
This proves to be a mistake, however, as Hunter manages to slip out of an attempted powerslam behind Iceberg, grabbing her for a reverse DDT. Hunter continues to pound away on Iceberg, getting out months of pent-up aggression on her. Iceberg goes to roll out of the ring to get her bearings back, but Hunter grabs her by the back of her tights and pulls her back into the ring to continue the assault.
After a bit, when Hunter is about to use the Pedigree on Iceberg, Ryan gets up from his announcer's seat and distracts Hunter, giving Iceberg a chance to get him in a backdrop. Upon re-gaining the advantage, she starts working him over, taking into account his skills this time.
Both Hunter and Iceberg continue to trade the advantage for a good bit, until Hunter tries hitting Iceberg with his running knee strike…when Iceberg grabs the leg and turns it into a modified suplex, dropping Hunter directly on his head. She then gets into a corner, and as soon as Hunter gets to his feet, runs into him hard with her signature spear. Ryan is on the outside of the ring yelling for Iceberg to finish him off…but Iceberg doesn't seem willing to do so. She simply exits the ring and takes a microphone from a ringside technician.
"You know…I feel I've proved myself over Hunter. My work here is done. If you want more Ryan…do it yourself."
The referee starts counting out Iceberg, and Ryan goes over to yell at her. She sighs, and simply punches Ryan in the face, then tosses him into the ring to the recovering Hunter as she's counted out.
WINNER BY COUNT-OUT: Hunter Hearst Helmsley.
Iceberg smirks and leaves, and soon after Hunter realizes Ryan is in the ring with him. Hunter grins evilly, and starts to work away at Ryan…toying with the PWF owner. Anytime Ryan tries getting to his feet, Hunter pushes him back down…one push putting Hardley out of the ring. Hunter then sees the announcer's table and gets a twisted idea…rolling Ryan onto the announcer's table. The crowd erupts in cheers as Hunter gives Ryan the Pedigree right through the announcer's table, then smirks and leaves as "Primal Concrete Sledge" plays in the background.
--
Main event hype!!
--
Out of the entryway suddenly comes legendary ring announcer Michael Buffer, clad in tux, ready to announce the contestants for the next match.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the Main Event of the evening! Tonight, two competitors respected by fans and wrestlers all around. Two people who have gained numerous accolades and accomplishments over the years, and two people who will fight for the right to be called the Heavyweight…Champion of the World! Are you Ready?"
"Wrestling fans…are you rrrrrrrrrrready?"
"Then for the thousands in attendance, and to the millions watching around the world…ladies and gentlemen….LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLETS GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Gonna Fly Now" cues up over the speakers, and out comes Kirk Angel, in the same ring attire Kurt Angle wore at Wrestlemania X-7, coming out with the same type of entrance as Angle as well.
"Introducing first, the challenger for the evening. He stands 6 feet, 2 inches tall and weighs in at 220 pounds. He hails from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. In 1996, he fought for his country in the Olympic Games in Atlanta, winning a gold medal in freestyle wrestling. Since then, he has improved his skills in the ring to become one of the biggest names in the wrestling business today, winning titles both in the Paradox Wrestling Federation and Extreme Attitude Wrestling. Tonight, he will attempt to obtain the one title he wants, but has never held. He is the master of the Olympic Slam, the Ankle Lock, and the Olympic Plex, and is tonight's number one contender. Please welcome, Olympic Gold Medalist…KIIIIIIIIIIRK ANGEEEEEEEEEEEEL!"
Shortly after Kirk enters the ring and does his in-ring spin, "Gonna Fly Now" fades out and is shortly after replaced by "Rise", as in her ring attire, both of her title belts with her.
"And ladies and gentlemen, his opponent for this evening. She stands 5 feet, 5 inches tall and weighs in at 110 pounds. Currently, she resides in Miami, Florida. As a child, she spent her life in a world filled with chaos and destruction, and lived a harsh life. Years later, she made her way to another dimension, and entered the wrestling business, working hard to make her life better for herself. Now, she has become one of the top stars in the industry. Tonight, she plans to fight to keep her top spot in the industry. She is the master of the Displacement Strike and the Mirrored Displacement Strike, and is both the MPRW Regional Heritage Champion and the current and reigning EAW Heavyweight…Champion of the WOOOOORRRRRLD…ladies and gentleman, this is BLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNK!"
Paul: ....and I thought JR had a big mouth.
Megan: He's our guest, Paul. Try to be more civil. ^_^ Well, this is the main event we've waited so long for...a handshake between champion and challenger...and *ding, ding*...there's the bell!!
Angel and Blink circle each other--Angel dives toward Blink's right leg--she sidesteps, and hits the ropes--Angel ducks under--and Blink goes for a Lionsault--saults over Angel, landing on her feet--Kirk catches her, going for a Belly to Belly--Blink elbows him off--goes for a sidekick--Kirk catches the leg--Blink hits a modified Enzui Giri to take down Kirk--Kirk gets back up...looking surprised. Some applause from the crowd.
Kirk fakes out Blink with a clothesline--but turns it into a charging knee--he turns it into an abdominal stretch...Blink fights it, slipping free and going for a backdrop--Kirk blocks, wrenching a headlock on Blink--then sets her up--DDTS her!!
Blink back up...Kirk carefully backs away--Blink charges--Kirk counters by whipping her into the ropes. Clean break...and Blink and Angel tie up...Kirk goes for a Fisherman's Suplex--but Blink blocks it, countering into a side leg sweep variation, and going for a pinfall!!
Long one count only. Blink with a dropkick on Kirk--caught and shoved down to the mat. Kirk pulls her up in a full nelson...Blink attempts to wrench free--Kirk lifts her up and slams her into the mat...covers...long one count as well.
Kirk pulls up Blink and digs his knee into her back...she tries to wrench out of the hold--shoves Kirk and herself back against the ropes...arm drags Kirk over--charges at Kirk--Angel tries to catch her--she leaps up on his shoulders...SHOULDER MOUNTED TORNADO DDT!! Blink covers and nearly gets a two. She goes up top...waits on Kirk...off the top--SUNSET FLIP!! TWO count on Kirk--Kirk kicks out, rolls up to his feet--locks the arms of Blink--Double Arm Belly to Belly Suplex by Kirk!! Cover...a long one count. Kirk gets up to his feet and sends Blink into the corner...back elbow--charge out by Blink--ANGEL turns it into a spinning clothesline, tricking Blink!! Standing Moonsault by Kirk...NEARLY a two. Kirk goes up to the top rope...hits ANOTHER Moonsault from there...
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ONE!
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TWO!!--Kickout!
Blink picks herself up...Kirk ties up with her--quick belly to belly suplex. Blink tries to crawl away, but crawls to him. Angel attempts to set up a piledriver--Blink REVERSES into a SAMURAI DRIVER!! Covers!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!
Blink picks up Kirk and sends him towards the corner...backspring elbow hits him on target, and Blink goes up to the top rope. Cross Body on Angel...long two--Kirk shoves her off. He springs up--Blink charges--arm drag counter by Angel. Sets her up, and backdrops her. He sends Blink into the corner...sets her up for a Superplex--HITS it, then floats over....
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout!
Angel sends Blink to the ropes--Blink comes back--attempts the Queen Sunset Flip...Angel reverses, slipping free...backslides Blink...NEARLY a three, but Blink kicks out. Blink up...fires Kirk to the ropes--Leap Frog...Kick back--Hurracanrana--blocked by Kirk--drops her throat first across the ropes. Blink rolls out of the ring. Kirk follows her out the outside...Blink slow to get up--but catches Kirk off guard with a pump kick...then sets up--HITS a Reverse Factor on Kirk. She rolls him into the ring--long two--but no cigar.
Kirk up--Blink charges--Fireman's Carry by Angel. Angel picks up Blink...holding her overhead--and rolls forward, driving his head into his stomach....cover...but not quite...
Kirk picks up Blink--Blink sneaks behind with a hammerlock...Kirk escapes...Irish Whip...
Megan: Blink off the ropes...CLOTHESLINE on Angel!! Angel back up--ducks the clothesline--BACK KICK by Blink--Angel grabbing the ankle--but Blink to the ropes...ducks out to the apron--flips in--behind the charging Angel--GERMAN SUPLEX!!
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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KICKOUT!!
Paul: So close...SO CLOSE...but MY Olympic Hero had the presence of mind to escape.
Megan: Blink taking a short breather...setting up Angel for the Diving Death--NO--Angel picking up Blink for an inverted atomic drop--swings her around--Blink's feet hitting referee Billy Silverman inadvertantly--INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!!
Paul: Picking up Blink now...set-up for a vertical--NO--Blink setting him up...BRAINBUSTER!! Floatover by Blink!!!
Megan: But Silverman can't count the pinf--
"Zan" then cues up unexpectedly, and MAIKU--well, really Michael White as he is out of his facepaint and Muta-like attire--bolts out from the crowd. White gets up on the apron, then the top rope, with a large lead pipe, jumps off the top rope DRIVING it into Blink's lower back, breaking up the pinfall. Blink gets up, favoring her back, and attempts to fight back--but MAIKU takes out the back of her leg. He goes back up top, and jumps off, holding the pipe under his leg--hitting a GUILLOTINE LEG DROP across the throat of Blink!! He rolls out of the ring, as Kirk gets up, and picks Blink up.
Megan: This is TERRIBLE...White just attacking and laying out Blink...and Kirk now--setup--and the OLYMPIC-PLEX by Kirk! Into a bridge!!
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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THREE!!!
Paul: SUCCESS!!
Megan: But Angel doesn't...
"Gonna Fly Now" cues up...
Capetta: The winner of this match...and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW EAW World Heavyweight Champion--Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk Aaaaaaaaangeeeeeeeeel!!
White comes back into the ring...
Megan: Oh...Kirk sees White now...what kind of ploy is this from White...a staredown...and...
Angel and White then....shake hands over the beaten Blink?!?!
Megan: WHAT IN THE HELL?!! Angel...Angel...KNEW all about this?!?! It was all a plan?!
Paul: HA!! I TOLD you My Olympic Hero would come out on top!! He is your new EAW World Champion!!
Megan: But...like this--turning his back on everyone who trusted him--on his own friend Blink--DAMN HIM!! DAMN YOU, KIRK!!...
Fade...