RM: Well well...here comes Canadian Nancy-Boy...Lance Storm. I'd loosen
him up a little if I got a few minutes alone with him.
BW: ..... What about the trashman? You put out for him, too?
RM: Maybe with some deodorant and a breath mint...maybe a bath...and I suppose...
"Trash" by Korn begins to play...the trashman, Duke "The Dumpster" Drosse, walks out from the back holding a trashcan high in the air in his left hand, and the Television Title in the other.
BW: Here comes the TV Champ...Drosse won the belt from the Elite a few
weeks ago in a Triple Threat match, and this is his first official title defense.
RM: (holding her nose) Peeeeee-yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww!!! I can smell
Drosse from over here!! Ugh. *cough*
Drosse gets in the ring and warms up by stretching on the ring ropes. The bell rings signalling the start of the contest.
BW: The match is on....this opening bout is a Submission Weapons Television Title match. Storm locks up with Drosse....tries to push Drosse in the corner...Drosse retaliates!! Knocks down Storm with a right hand!! Arm drag takeover by Storm....drop toe hold by storm...leg drop follow up!! Storm picks up Drosse...irish whip...reverse...Drosse waiting to catch Storm on the return...telegraphs it and Storm counters with a kick to the head.
RM: Storm follows it up with an Enzui Giri....Drosse tumbles to the outside!
BW: Storm is following Drosse to the outside...
RM: Trashcan to the head of Storm!!
BW: Drosse evens up the odds with a trashcan.
Drosse begins to smash the trashcan into the downed Storm. He then climbs atop the apron. Then he raises his right arm and appears to be setting up for a familiar move.
RM: Drosse looks to be preparing to knock out Lance with his overwhelming undearm odor...
Storm gets up and is nailed between the eyes with a Bionic Elbow.
BW: Bionic Elbow by Drosse!!
Drosse then hoists up Storm over his head, and easily carries him over the the announce table.
RM: *gasp* PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN!! PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN!! DAMN boy you REEK!!
Duke ignores Rebecca, instead going to work by dropping Storm jaw-first onto the announcers desk.
BW: Ah sh*t...that had to f'n hurt!! Might've busted a tooth on that move.
Rebecca falls over from the stench of Drosse's pits.
BW: Well, Becky's out like a light...and I don't blame her..the stench is pretty bad.
Drosse picks up Storm, and begins to try to whip him to the turnbuckle. Storm reverses and Drosse charges headfirst into the ringpost.
BW: Drosse hits the ringpost!! Storm is getting a chair from under the ring...lines up Drosse...WICKED chairshot!! Drosse is still on his feet though...Storm winds up for another one...a groggy Duke ducks it...boot to the midsection..
Storm drops the chair, and Duke scoops him up...and slams him back first onto the portion of the apron pertruding from underneath the ropes.
BW: Duke slams Storm onto the apron!!
Duke then begins to tie up Storm with the ropes, and pulls out a table from underneath the ring. He carries it over to the announcers table. Wolf gets up and begins to stand clear.
BW: Damn it!! Where are those Spanish announcers when you need them?
Drosse sets up the wooden table and sets it on top of the announcers desk, after knocking off the guards displaying the EAW logo on the front.
BW: Drosse seems to be looking to put Storm away with a big finish...
With
that, he backs away. Dragging Rebecca away with him.
BW: Drosse is heading back over and grabbing Storm...yanks him out of the ring by his right ankle...and dragging him over to our announce position. Now Duke is climbing atop the announce and wooden table, and looking to set up Storm for the Dumpster Bomb!!
Duke hoists up Storm over his head...but then Storm breaks free, booting him in the belly and doubling him over, then hitting him with a Deep Impact through both tables!!!
Storm climbs over and locks on the Canadian Mapleleaf. The referee gets in close.
BW: I think Drosse is out...the referee is calling for the bell, and we have a new TV Champ!!
Winner by Submission >>> Lance Storm; New EAW TV Champ
After the chaos of the Storm and Duke match has passed, Wolf and Rebecca return back to call the action. "WOW. I knew tonight was going to be 'extreme', but I didn't know they were going to take it that far. Well, we have a new TV Champ, and..." Just before Wolf can finish his sentence, T-Bone and Nuclear are seen brawling through the crowd. "Well, ain't this a bitch.. let's get to the TABLES MATCH!!!"
Tables Match
T-Bone Vs. Nuclear
A quick scene shows Sonnette, rooting on T-Bone from the back.
The match which has already begun, continues, as Nuclear clotheslines T-Bone over the guard rail. T-Bone, amazing lands on his feet, and insists Nuke to 'come on'. Nuke does, as he jumps onto the rail, and attempts a cross body block. T-Bone catches Nuke in mid-air, and bodyslams him on the hard floor. T-Bone picks up Nuke, and whips him into the pole. Nuke lands back-first on the steel pole, and T-Bone trys to follow up, but Nuke catches him with a boot to the face. Nuke hops onto the apron, and does a Tornado DDT from the apron!! Nuke grabs a chair, and then uses it on T-Bone. "YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!!" Wolf screams, as Nuke misses with the chairshot, and is met with a stiff right hand to the gut.
T-Bone grabs the fallen chair, and cracks it over the back of Nuclear. "OUCH! Nuke just went low on T-Bone." Nuke then plants T-Bone with a superkick, right in the chin. Nuke goes under the ring, and to the fans' delight pulls out a wooden table! Nuke steps up the table in the corner of the steel pole, and before he trys to put Bone through a table, he cracks a steel chair over T-Bone's head. "Looks like trouble... Bone might be going through a table soon.. WAIT! IT'S BOOKER T. FROM THE CROWD!!" Booker runs in, and kicks Nuke in the groin. "OH NO!!" Wolf protests as Booker sets Nuke up for a "Book End" through the announce table, until Lance Storm becomes out all bandaged up. "Storm with a dropkick to Booker!! Booker is leaving... Storm checking on Nuclear? Storm helps Nuclear up... Storm gave Nuke the chair! Nuke going to hit T-Bone with it... OH MY GENTLE JESUS!! Storm just planted Nuke in the face with his famous Storm Superkick!! T-Bone regains his sense... Nuke falls back in the arms of T-Bone..... AND RAGNAROCK THROUGH THE TABLE!! T-Bone wins!"
Winner by putting opponent through a table >>> T-Bone
"Well, folks... I've gotten word from LG that Smoke has no-showed his upcoming match with Crucifix. I guess Crucifix wins by forfeit. Boy, did my comeback show suck... oh well, for Rebecca and rest of the EAW staff, goodnight folks!"