We open to the typical Mayhem intro....signs about the arena such as "I can out-eat Visc!", "Tatum can kiss my hairy ass," "Storm--Hedgehog F***er?!", and "Where's Widow?" are in view.

After the fireworks and opening graphics, the camera switches to a view of Booker Gokuo and Joey Styles at the announce desk.

JS: Welcome everyone to EAW Tuesday Night Nayhem!! Tonight is a night of new and returning faces as Chainsaw and Kanyon are back in the EAW. Kanyon faces the first active elf wrestler in the EAW, Fire Slinger. Chainsaw will return to the ring tonight to face off against El Dandy and Silver King--Los Fabulosos!

LG: That isn't quite all, though. Scott Hall and Kevin Nash will face off. These two were once tight, but now things seem to have gone cold between them. It's just gonna be a singles match, not a 'Nash's blue stuff on a pole match,' as Hall requested. Also, it's gonna be a weird, weird night because throughout it, Nova is gonna be competing in an EATING CONTEST with VISCERA!!

JS: That's right...the winner will be whomever can devour more Jack in the Box Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburgers before the final bell of the final match of tonight is through.

LG: Where the hell are these "Jack in the Box" joints? I've never even heard of them!

JS: Well...they are a fast food chain, but we aren't looking for new sponsors--the Jack in the Box Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger just may be the most deadly fast food item on the planet. Nova may put on a few pounds tonight...and Viscera might, if it's even possible, get even FATTER!!

LG: Scary thing is, it IS possible...take a look at Big Momma herself. Big Momma came into the building tonight through the garage door in the rear.

JS: *shudders* Please don't mention her name and "rear" in the same sentence. I'm still trying to forget....

The screen pans over to a table near ringside, similar to the announcers desk, but with a large digital counter set up behind it. On each end of the table, a stack of boxes bearing the "Jack in the Box" logo are sitting.

"One Man Army" by Prodigy begins to play, and the crown pops for the daring young Nova, who steps out with a bit of a nervous look on his face...as if he's regretting what he's gotten himself into. Angelina is with him. He walks down the ramp and slaps a few of the fans hands before taking his seat at the table.

JS: Nova is the first out, and takes his seat...

LG: Someone take a picture!! You may not see Nova this thin again for a looooong time...

"Sexual Chocolate" is the next theme to start up...and a hungry-eyed Viscera walks out, the fans respond with boos and thumbs down to the evil blimp. His new valet is not too far behind, shoving the last of a burger into her mouth as she waddles out.

JS: And here comes the favorite to win this contest, Viscera!!

LG: Viscera is in his element tonight, Styles. Nova may as well save his cholestoral, blood pressure, and figure right now, and give it up...

Viscera walks around the table to take a seat in a special reinforced chair. The steel chair that Nova is seated in wouldn't be able to hold all of Viscera's weight and bulk. A referee specially appointed to watch the contest takes a seat in front of them, and signals for the timekeeper to ring the bell and start the contest.

JS: The contest is about to begin, and...*ding*

Eating Contest
Nova w/ Angelina vs. Viscera with Big Momma Lay Ya LG: And it's on!!! We'll move onto the first real match, and keep checking back on deez two.

Razor Ramon's theme begins to play over the PA system, and the nostalgic crowd pops. Shuffling out is Scott Hall, toothpicks behind each ear and one lodged in the side of his mouth...

LG: He isn't quite the wrestler he used to be...and he should never be your first choice for a designated driver...but here is Scott Hall!!

JS: The man whose blood-alcohol level is measured in proofs.

Hall manages to make his way into the ring, where he performs his signature stomp before tossing the toothpicks behind his ears to the outside of the ring.

"Straight Outta Compton" by NWA begins to play, and the crowd responds with a reasonably positive reaction. Kevin Nash walks out, throwing up the sign of the now-defunct Wolfpack. He slowly walks to the ring past the table where Nova and Viscera are digging into the lethal burgers, with Booker T in tow, and steps over the ropes, staring down his former friend.

JS: A staredown between the two former Outsiders...

The bell rings...

JS: And the match is on...

Hall and Nash begin to move in towards each other, and Hall takes out his toothpick and flings it in Nash's face; Hall throws back his head in laughter.

LG: Hall is mocking Nash...not a good idea...NASH ATTACKING WITH RIGHT HANDS!! Whips Hall to the corner......Nash charges in with a clothesline!

The breath is knocked out of Hall momentarily, but but he charges out of the corner and hits a clothesline on Nash.

JS: Hall retaliates with a clothesline on Nash!! Now stomping away. Nash is up--hard elbow...whipped against the ropes...BIG BOOT!!

LG: One move down...two to go!!

JS: Nash picking up Hall...Scoop and a slam!!

Hall quickly gets back up, and jabs an elbow into the gut of Nash.

LG: Hall stopping Nash's momentum, an inverted atomic drop!!! Irish whip...into the Abdominal Stretch!!

Hall cinches on the Ab Stretch near the middle of the ring, but is close enough to the ropes to grab the top rope for added leverage.

JS: Hall trying to weaken Nash with a fairly basic hold...but against Nash, it's not a bad idea.

LG: Nash trying to break free...

The referee glances up, but Hall removes his hand from the top rope just in time for the referee to miss it...the crowd begins to cheer for Nash...and soon Nash starts to slip free of Hall's grip and tosses Hall over his shoulder.

JS: Nash fighting back now!! He picks up Hall and whips him again...SIDE SLAM!!! One....Two..KICK-OUT!!

LG: Both men getting back up....

Nash and Hall begin to brawl in the center of the ring.

JS: Nash going for a short arm clothesline--ducked by Hall...BACKDROP!!! Hall has the advantage...Nash slowly getting up....Hall picking up Nash...

Hall then hold Nash in position for his delayed Fallaway Slam...then finally tosses Nash behind him.

LG: Fall Away Slam!!! One....two...NO!!

JS: Hall picks up Nash...and drags him over to the corner.

Hall sits Nash up backwards on the turnbuckle then turns around.

JS: Hall seems to be going for a Splash Mountain!!

Hall tries to toss Nash over him, but Nash weighs a little too much and slips behind him.

JS: Nash escapes!! LG: Hall stumbles around...boot to the belly by Nash....JACK KNIFE POWERBOMB!!! JACK KNIFE POWERBOMB!!

Nash sets Hall up for and executes the Jack Knife Powerbomb, and goes for a cover...

ONE

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TWO

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THREE!!

WINNER BY PINFALL >>> Kevin Nash

Nash leaves the ring confidently, and grabs a burger from Viscera's end of the table. Viscera's eyes fill with rage after that. Viscera gets up from the table, and as Nash and Booker walk off, Viscera charges from behind and clotheslines Nash in the back of the head, and then begins to beat down Nash. Booker T hits Viscera with a Harlem Sidekick, and Big Momma Lay Ya rushes to Viscera's aid, suplexing Booker T. Nash sideslams Viscera and then big boots BMLY, and helps Booker T up before getting to the back. The referee orders a stop to the contest for Viscera to get back to the table.

***COMMERCIAL BREAK***

As we come back from break, we get a shot of the table where Viscera and Nova are sitting...each of the counters reads 3.

JS: Welcome back, everyone, and the contest between Viscera and Nova is tied at three a piece. Up next, Fire Slinger takes on Chris Kanyon!!

**TIE, NEITHER RPED**

The tally is up to 6 for Nova and 5 for Viscera.

JS: Up next, the former tag team champs, Chainsaw, make a return to the ring against Los Fabulosos!!

The Los Fabulosos' WCW theme begins to play, and Los Fabulosos--El Dandy and Silverking, now dressed in their cheesy cardboard bot attire, walk out. With them is Ms. Hancock, still impersonating Sonnette. They walk to the ring with a mixed reaction from the fans.

JS: Here come the tag champ hopefuls. If Los Fabulosos can put away Chainsaw here tonight, then I think they could be in the running for another shot at the tag team titles.

LG: A shot that, by all rights, they should have anyway. After all, the last match ended only because the Love Handles....ugh...interfered and cost them the shot.

"Game" by Mystical and Raz Kaz begins to play, and Chaynz and Buzzsaw--Chainsaw--run out from the back, the Kat between them. The crowd pops for the former champs, and they run down the ramp into the ring.

LG: Chainsaw used to be the EAW Tag Team Champions...before losing them to Scorpion's Pyre a while ago and temporarily leaving the EAW.

JS: The're in the ring, and the timekeeper rings the bell...and our main event is underway. Chaynz and Silver King start things off. Chaynz with a snapmare takeover on Silver King. A dropkick to the back of Silver King's head. and a quick cover...one count only.

LG: Silver King may be smaller, but he's a lot stronger then he looks....armdrags Chaynz over....SNAP SUPLEX!! One

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KICKOUT!! Silver King tags in El Dandy, and puts Chaynz in an Armwringer. El Dandy mounts the turnbuckle.....ROCKER DROPPER ARMBAR!!! Silver King returns to the apron!!

JS: Los Fabulosos take the early advantage, and El Dandy grounds Chaynz with a hammerlock.

LG: Silver King springboards over...LEGDROP on the back of Chaynz' head!!

JS: Los Fabulosos with some impressive teamwork! El Dandy grabs Chaynz by the back of the hair, and picks him back up....Chaynz reverses the hammerlock...elbows El Dandy in the back of the head...whips him to the far ropes, BACK BODY DROP!! El Dandy scrambles back up to his feet...Dropkick by Chaynz!!

While El Dandy is down, Chaynz runs to his corner and dives, slapping the hand of Buzzsaw.

LG: Buzzsaw in...runs and drops a leg on El Dandy!! Picks El Dandy back up....El Dandy counters with a Jawbreaker! El Dandy cinches up Buzzsaw....Buzzsaw with an elbow to the midsection....but El Dandy whips him to the ropes...charges in...BUZZSAW DUCKS THE SPIN HEEL KICK!! El Dandy takes a spill to the outside.

LG: El Dandy is down, and Buzzsaw grabs the top rope, waiting for El Dandy to get up....PLANCHA!!!

JS: BUZZSAW TAKES OUT EL DANDY!!

Buzzsaw picks up El Dandy and whips him to the steel steps. Ms. Hancock sneaks up from behind with a steel chair and hits BUZZSAW in the back with it. The Kat grabs Hancock by the hair, and snapmares her over. The attack with the chair is enough to daze Buzzsaw for a few seconds and he stumbles towards El Dandy...

LG: DDT INTO THE STEEL STEPS!! El Dandy with a big move!!

JS: CATFIGHT!!!! CAAAAAAAAAATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!

El Dandy rolls Chaynz back into the ring and tags in Silver King. El Dandy then holds up Chaynz, and Silver King climbs up to the top rope....

JS: Silver King looking for a Missile Drop Kick....Chaynz slips free--SILVER KING TAKES OUT EL DANDY!!!

Seeing the match is about ready to draw to a close, Nova and Viscera begin to go for it all...Nova chokes down a burger and counter hits 9, and Viscera is a little behind--less than halfway through will be his ninth.

Buzzsaw gets set to tag in Chaynz again, but El Dandy grabs Buzzsaw's leg and pulls it out from under him....then hits a headbutt to his stomach.

JS: Los Fabulosos in firm control of this contest. El Dandy tags in Silver King. El Dandy and Silver King each grab a leg of Buzzsaw....DOUBLE WISHBONE!! Silverking makes a cover, ONE

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TWO

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KICKOUT!!!

Buzzsaw scrambles to the nearest rope, and uses it to try to get up, he manages to get up to one leg but Silver King has the other.

LG: Silver King grabs that leg again....ENZUI GIRI by BUZZSAW!!!

With Silver King down momentarily, Buzzsaw gets the hot tag to Chaynz. Chaynz runs in and catches El Dandy with a clothesline, then the rising Silver King with a dropkick. Then he picks up El Dandy and tosses him over the top rope by his hair.

JS: CHAYNZ CLEANING HOUSE ON LOS FABULOSOS....Ball-in-Chain on Silverking!!

LG: Chaynz picks up Silver King, Buzzsaw climbing up top........Sky 3D!!! Chaynz makes the cover,

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ONE

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TWO

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THREE!!!

CHAINSAW WINS!!

Nova stands up as he swallows the tenth burger and the counter hits ten just before the final bell.

LG: Not only that, but Nova wins the eating contest!!! Final score: Nova-10, Viscera-9

WINNER BY PINFALL >>> Chainsaw: Chaynz and Buzzsaw

WINNER OF EATING CONTEST >>> NOVA

Viscera, angry again, jumps on Nova....picking him up and slamming him onto the table. Then he hoists up Nova over his head.

JS: Damn that Viscera!! He's a just a sore loser!!

With Nova over his head, Viscera does an airplane spin for many many rotations, then slams him into the table.

JS: OH MY GAHD!!!!!!!!!

Nova, dizzy from the spin, begins to cough up the last several burgers he ate.

LG: Awwwww gross....Nova is hurling!!

Big Momma Lay Ya and Viscera stomp at Nova as the show goes off the air. Chaynz and Buzzsaw leave the ring victorious as "Game" by Mystical and Raz Kaz plays again.

Viscera begins to walk up the rampway...but soon leans over, reeling, and throws up a few of the burgers himself.

LG: Aw s***...double gross!!

JS: Folks, that's it for Mayhem...we need to rush Viscera and Nova to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped. See you at Riot Rulz..goodnight everybody!!!