Bill West: "Welcome EAW fans! Tonight action is more packed than ever as tonight we open up our tournment for the newly annouced EAW Television Title! I'm Bill West, and with my co-host--"
Rebecca Mack: "Yes, Bill it's me. The woman that amazes many, because I can take a pump of a d*** more than twenty. The honey that is known as a bunny, because I can hop up and down ALL night, Rebecca Mack!"
Bill: "Thank you for that 'warm' introduction
always knowing what to say
don't you? But, not only do we have our TV tournment, we also have the Hardcore Title match!
Rebecca: "But, don't forget that we have a match between The Elite
taking on agasit "The Revenant" Shaed Bloodgrave! What the hell--"
"Trash" by Korn blast over the PA, as Duke "The Dumpster" Drose comes to the ring, pushing a dumpster!
Bill: "I don't know, what Duke is doing, but whatever he's doing, it
doesn't look good for Hotshot. What is he doing now? He pushed the trashcan to the edge of the ramp. He's going over to Howard Finkel and is whispering in his ear.
Howard Finkel: "Due to the request of Duke Drose, this match is now a DUMPSTER MATCH!"
Bill: "Can he do that?"
Rebecca: "He, just did."
BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!
Bill: "Here comes Hotshot..where is he? Wait a minute, threw the crowd
here comes Hotshot!"
EAW Qualifying Match for the Television Title: Duke "The Dumpster" Drose Vs. Hotshot
Threw the crowd, Hotshot comes rushing to the ring with a singapore cane in hand! Duke is staring at the entrance way..awaiting Hotshot. Hotshot slided through the ropes, and steps up behind Duke. Hotshot winds up the cane..and hits Duke in the back of the head. Duke staggers through the ring ropes..and falls into the dumpster. Hotshot rushes to the outside, and is about to close the lid, but Duke fights his way out of it. Right hands to Hotshot, by Duke..as he gets out the dumpster. Duke takes Hoshot's head, and rams it into the dumpster! Hotshot is dazed, as Duke climbs along the edges of the trashcan, and leaps off with a HUGE CLOTHESLINE to Hotshot. Duke picks up Hotshot, and whips him to the dumpster, but it is countered as Hotshot whips Duke into the dumpster! Hotshot is search under the ring until he finds a cookie sheet! Hotshot rolls Duke back in the ring, and climbs the top rope. Duke gets back up, but is caught, as Hotshot nails him in the head with the the cookie sheet from the top rope!
Bill: "Hotshot is taking advatage of the downed Duke, as he's now putting him in the "Walls of Jericho"! This is not going to help him win the match, because Hotshot has to put Duke in the dumpster and shut the lid! Duke looks to be fighting it..Duke has manage to make it a boston crab. Duke still must be in pain, but maybe not as much. Hotshot releases the hold, and picks up the cookie sheet. Looks look he is awaiting for Duke to get up..Duke is up, and Hotshot swings. Wait, Duke ducks the attempt from Hotshot, and plants him with a superkick with the cookie sheet in Hotshot's face! Now, Duke is picking up Hotshot, and a hard irish whips into the ropes..Hotshot is caught with a hard clothesline, and knocking him over all the way to the outside of the ring, right near us! Duke grabs a steel chair, and sets it up on the outside, and now Hotshot is getting to his feet. Duke grapples Hotshot, and a DDT on the steel chair onto the concrete floor!! That was got to hurt Hotshot badly..and now Duke is pulling Hotshot to the dumpster. Duke lifts the lid, and is about to toss Hotshot in. Hotshot looks like he's isn't going to go in..he's fighting not to go in, it seems. Hotshot just caught Duke with a low-blo, and he tosses him back in the ring. Hotshot takes the cookie sheet, he dropped earlier in the match, and is now putting it onto between the ring ropes. Hotshot now has control of the match, and now he's ramming Dukes head into the cookie sheet, that is now wedged between the ropes in the corner. Hotshot drops Duke with the a snap suplex, and climbs the top rope, for the second time tonight. He's signaling for the Senton Bomb..but wait, Duke is up, and he's hitting Hotshot with fierce right hands. Duke jingles the ropes, and Hotshot loses balance and falls on the turnbuckle! Hotshot could had hurt his groin with that move. Duke is climbing the turnbuckle, now, and grabs the hurt Hotshot. What the Duke doing..he's picking up Hotshot, and setting him up for the "Dumpster Bomb"? No way..he's not going to..OHMYGOD!!! A "Dumpster Bomb" all the way from the top rope INTO THE DUMPSTER!! Both men could be, could be badly injured after that move. Duke also fell in the dumpster with Hotshot, and now Duke is getting out. He closes the lid, and earns a hard fought win!"
Winner and advances in the tournment for the Television Title: Duke "The Dumpster" Drose
"Voices" cues up, as Black Widow comes out to the ring with a good pop from the crowd. Black Widow enters the ring, and "Wake Up" bu Rage Agasit the Machine" blasts over the P.A. as Sonnette comes to the ring, with a much similar reaction to Widow's. The bell rings, as Sonnette jumps on the apron, and delivers a springboard dropkick to start the match off.
EAW Qualifying Match for the Television Title: Black Widow Vs. Sonnette
Bill: "Sonnette starts off the match early as she surpises Widow with a
dropkick from the ropes. Widow takes Sonnette down with a side sweep from the ground, and jumps back to her feet. Widow whips Sonnette into the corner..and A PHOENIX DROPKICK!! Sonnette stumbles out the corner, and falls to the ground."
Black Widow quickly goes to the legs of Sonnette, and begins to weaken it. Widow slaps on a figure four, trying to soften Sonnette's legs up for the "Kumo No Amimono".
Bill: "If Sonnette doesn't get out of this move soon, she'll be easy pickin' for Widow. But, what..Sonnette is turning the move around, and now Widow is in pain! Widow is fighting to get to the ropes..can she make it? Widow almost has the ropes..yes she has it! Sonnette must break the hold or she will be disqualified! Sonnette has released the hold, and now she wants Widow on her feet! Sonnette picks up Widow up, and now a PORN PLEX!! Sonnette has this match won..one, two, three! Yes, Sonnette has done it..no wait, the ref said it was a TWO COUNT!! Only a two count..goodness, that was close. Sonnette now irish whips Widow into the ropes, and catches Widow with a knee to the gut, no...Widow reverse the knee into a small roll-up! Only a two count, from the young female ninja. Widow bounces off the rope, and delievers a hurricanrada! This could do it..one, two..that was close folks a two in a half. Sonnette gets to her feet, and tries a cross body block, but Widow ducks and Sonnette lands on the outside. Widow is on the top rope now, and OH MY GOD..a dragonrada off the ropes onto Sonnette! It's over..but Widow can't win this match on the outside. It seems as Widow heard me, as she tosses Sonnette into the ring. Sonnette is slowly getting back up and Widow with another hurricanrada attempt, and Sonnette reverses it into a powerbomb! Widow head justed bounce off the mat. Sonnette now picks Widow up, and it looks like a HentaiPlex..but wait Widow with a backflip OVER Sonnette and a Kumo No Sasu to the back of Widow's head!! Sonnette quickly falls to the ground, and wait..Widow is locking in the "Kumo No Amimono", and Sonnette is out..the ref is checking to see if Sonnette is KO'ed. The ref is up to the second hand, and is about to drop it for the third time, no Sonnette is fighting it. Sonnette is not out of it, and Widow can't believe it. Widow now releases the devasting submission. Widow picks up Sonnette jumps on her back? Widow is trying to put Sonnette down with a spinning hurricanrada..but wait, Sonnette has her in a samoan drop poisition. Sonnette runs to turnbuckle, up the turnbuckle, and the SONIC BOOM!!! Sonnette hooks the farest leg, and the..one, two, three! Sonnette helps Widow up, and shakes her hand."
Winner and qualifying in the tournment for the TV Title: Sonnette
Black Widow and Sonnette embrace, but suddenly "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath cues up, as Mechius steps from behind the curtain, and slowly walks down to the ring. Widow and Sonnette get ready as the "Iron Man" enters the ring, and looks at the women.
EAW Hardcore Title Match:
Mechius Vs. Mortis(c)
Bill: "What is Mechius doing? Wait..kicks to both of the women's gut, and a DOUBLE GAME OVER!! Did he think that Widow and Sonnette were 'threats'? What a sounds from behind, an explosion of sand, and it's Mortis with an early DOA from behind! Mechius gets right back up, and a throat toss to the corner. Mechius with shot after shot into the gut of Mortis, and I believe sand is actually spilling from Mortis, he's getting hit so hard! Mortis pulls Mechius' dreadlocks, and Mortis with a kick to the gut of the Mechius. Mortis with a whip to the corner, and a high splash to Mechius. Mechius reverses the attack and delivers a devasting follow way slam..OVER THE ROPES! Mechius now steps over the ropes. Mechius gets to the ground, but Mechius falls on his metal ass, as Mortis gives him a leg sweep! Mechius' head bounced agasit the ring steps!! Mortis is setting up a table on the outside, but now Mechius is quickly getting to his feet. THE SHUT DOWN!! Mechius has justed put Mortis in the Shut Down from behind!! Wait..what's that?"
"Living Dead Girl" (Subliminal Seduction Mix) by Rob Zombie is heard, as through the crowd Finality makes her way though the crowd. Finality grabs a chair.
Bill: "Finality has the chair, and she hits
Mechius in the back of the
head! Mechius just released the hold, and "The Final Exit" through the table Mortis has set up!!! FINAL EXIT! Now, Finality is leaving through the crowd, but the damage has been done! Mortis now picks up Mechius and he's going to give him another DOA to win the match..but Mechius with a elbow to the masked face of Mortis, and Mortis releases the move. Suddenly, from behind A GAME OVER THREW OUR ANNOUCE TABLE!! Mortis never saw it coming..and now the three count..1-2-3!! Mechius the EAW's NEW Hardcore Champion!"
Winner and new EAW Hardcore Champion: Mechius
BIll: "We'll be right back folk!"
Hour 2...
The pyros go off as we return from commercial break, with two new announcers in place of Bill and Rebecca.
"Welcome back, folks. I'm Jimmy Rogers along with "The Prince" Bobby Marshall. This is hour 2 of EAW Monday Night Mayhem, and we're set to go to ringside where Krist "Overlord" Jonnson will make his return again the Undertaker in a Television Title Qualifying Match!"
An edited version of "Wasted Youth Crew" by Blood For Blood begins to play as Krist Jonnson steps out from the back with his new valet, Deanna. "American Badass" begins to play as the Undertaker rides out his motorcycle. When the bell rings, Jonnson immediately goes for the offensive with a double leg takedown and a series of punches, before being tossed off by UT. Jonnson rushes UT only to be caught with a clothesline, and hit again by a clothesline as he gets back up. Taker then rams him back first to the corner, and lays in some boots to the midsection. He whips Jonnson, only to be reversed and himself whipped into the opposite corner. Jonnson sets him up...SUPERPLEX!! Floatover for a one count. Taker gets up, and uppercuts Jonnson from a kneeling position, then locks on a leglace, which Jonnson quickly breaks out of. UT attempts a neckbreaker, but Jonnson slips free--go behind--yanks the legs from under UT, then the reverse Indian Deathlock. Jonnson turns in into an inverted STF...but releases it after about 10 seconds...draining Taker's strength but not enough to make him submit. Both get back to the their feet, and UT kicks Jonnson in the midsection, then whips him to the ropes, attempting a big boot. Jonnson grabs the ropes before he rebounds, runs forward, grabs Taker's leg...and Dragon Screw leg whips UT!!! He then drops him down to the canvas and turns it into a leglace of his own!! He releases it, then picks up UT and drops him into a DDT, then locks on a sleeper. The crowd begins to get behind UT, and he is slowly able to get to his feet and break the hold with a series of elbows, then backdrops Jonnson. Taker then yanks him up to his feet, and puts him into a side backbreaker. He then goes to the second rope and hits a legdrop, pulling up Jonnson's legs for a cover, but barely gets a one count. He follows it up with a snapmare into a dragon sleeper, then gets back up and hits a reverse DDT. Hooks the leg...one, two-KICK OUT!! He picks up Jonnson, frustrated, and get's caught with a headbeat to the belly, then a DDT. He then picks up UT, and drops him with the piledriver, then dragging him to the corner. Jonnson slides out, and then croches UT with the ringpost, then slams his leg into the post. He then positions them so they stick just out from the apron, and hits a legdrop from the top rope to the apron, across his knees. Jonnson rolls into the ring to finish off the wounded UT, but Taker attacks with renewed strength, hitting a quick combination of a shoulderbreaker, powerslam combo, with a jumping legdrop across the throat. He then picks Jonnson back up, and drops him face first onto the top rope.
With his back to the ropes and no route for escape, Taker locks on a Fujiwara Armbar, but Jonnson clenches his teeth and fights it off. They rise to a standing position, and Takes drives Jonnson's elbow into the canvas, striking his funny bone in the process, then turns it into a wristlock, and sits onto the turnbuckle. He walks across the top rope, and midway across jumps off, driving an elbow into Jonnson's shoulderblades. Taker then slowly climbs to the top rope, and jumps off with a legdrop, but Jonnson rolls out of the way!! Taker grabs the small of his back in pain, and Jonnson get up to the top rope, hitting a front missile dropkick into the back of Taker's head, snapping his neck forward as he's sitting up, then he drags him parallel to the corner, and hits the Giant Leap....for the one...two...three!!
Winner by pinfall ---> Krist "Overlord" Jonnson; qualifies for TV Title.
"And Krist Jonnson defeats the Undertaker to advance toward the TV title. Coming up next the tag team titles are on the line! Wildpack 2000 challenge Scorpion's Pyre!!"
"We're in this Together" by NIN begins to play as Sasori and Kaye walk out arm-in-arm. Kaye rests her head on Sasori's shoulder. Sasori suspiciously looks around, worried that Flyboy just may be lurking somewhere near the ringside area. They continue to walk down the ramp and into the ring, remove their title belts, and hands then to the ref, who holds them up, signifying they are on the line.
Wildpack 2000, "Big Yiffy" Colley Dogstar and Scarlet Foxfire come out next, to challenge for the titles as "Born to be Wild" by Steppenwolf plays.
Sasori and Colley start off for their teams by tying up in the center of the ring. Colley pushes Sasori to the neutral corner, and chops him across the chest, then hits a reverse elbow, and climbs up and delivers five shots to the head, with the crowd counting with each shot, but Sasori grabs Colley around the legs, moves out of the corner, and drops him face first onto the turnbuckle pad. Sasori spins around and waistlocks Colley as he stumbles back, and tosses him halfway across the ring with a German Release Suplex. Sasori capitalizes with a jumping elbow, but Colley gets gets back to his feet.
Colley then jabs an elbow into Sasori's belly, then puts on an armwringer, as he tags in Scarlet.
Colley holds Sasori in the armwringer as Scarlet comes in, allowing her to put him in a headlock, and hop onto the turnbuckle. He releases it, and she hits Sasori with a Tornado DDT. Then hooks the leg, getting a two count. As Sasori gets to his feet, Scarlet dashes in and catches him coming up with a swinging neckbreaker. He gets up again, but Scarlet runs to the corner, springs off, and hits a flying kick into Sasori's chest. She then drags him toward the WP2K corner, and Butterfly suplexes him. Sasori pops back up though, and an Irish Whip attempt by Scarlet is reversed, then turned into a Jumping DDT by Sasori. Sasori rolls to the Pyre's corner and slap's Kaye's hand, tagging her in, before rolling out of the ring.
Kaye comes in and clotheslines a running Scarlet; Colley comes in, right hand to Colley---another to Scarlet---another to Colley, and Kaye tosses him over the ropes. Both hands are around Scarlet's throat, and Kaye lifts her off her feet--Lifting Chokehold. The crowd begins to boo as the camera pans over to see Flyboy walk out from the back with a stack of...signs(?)...tucked under his arm, but neither member of the Pyre notices him. Flyboy holds up a sign reading "Go! Kaye! Go! Smack that Ho!!" Oblivious to this, Kaye tosses Scarlet into the corner, and lays in the boots. Scarlet begins to counter with a shot across Kaye's face, then a knee to the midsection. Scarlet spins behind, and hits a Tiger Suplex, but is unable to get a pin from it. They both get back, and Scarlet slams Kaye's back into the corner, then she pulls of a Stunner combo out of it.
Flyboy holds up another of his homemade masterpieces, "( o )( o )-Kaye's tits," as Kaye shakes it off and gets back up. It gives Scarlet time to tag in Colley, who pounds the rising Kaye across the back, and places her head between his legs, and attempts a powerbomb. As he gets her up, though, she rains down right hands on the top of his head. Colley attempts to powerbomb Kaye off the top turnbuckle pad, but instead hangs her upside down in the corner--into the Tree of Woe!
Flyboy holds up a sign, "I'd rather be in...oh f*** it," then turns it over, where it reads, "I'd rather f*** Kaye!" This gets a rise out of the crowd, and causes Sasori to look around--and spot Flyboy!! The sight angers Sasori, and he sees Kaye in the ring, then looks over to Flyboy. Flyboy begins to walk down the ramp, slowly--one step at a time. Sasori hops off the apron...and runs over to confront Flyboy. In the ring, Colley is giving a series of kicks to Kaye. The camera pans over to Undertaker, who's comes out of the crowd, and behind the referee's back, yanks Scarlet's feet out from under her and causes her to hit her jaw on the apron. He picks her up and gives her the Last Ride onto the outside. Colley stops his attack on Kaye to go over and tell the referee what happened, and ends up arguing with him. Taker hops over Scarlet and joins Sasori, who is walking towards Flyboy. Flyboy throws them both the middle finger as he turns and jogs out the entranceway. Colley is still arguing with the ref, but Kaye uses the ropes to pull herself to her feet and comes up behind Colley. She spins him around and clamps her right hand around his throat, and hoists him over her shoulder....TOMBSTONE DRIVER!!!! Scarlet is completely out on the outside, and the exhausted Kaye covers Colley for the three count.
Winners and STILL EAW Tag Team Champions --> Scorpion's Pyre
Jimmy Rogers sighs, "Flyboy has apparently obeyed the restraining order Kaye has on him, but he nearly cost Scorpion's Pyre this match. Thanks to some interference by Undertaker, which I seriously doubt was requested, Scorpion's Pyre retain the tag team titles. Coming up next is our main event. Last summer, Elite's second ever match was to former 3-time EAW World Heavyweight Champion, "The Revenant" Shead Bloodgrave in a Cage Match. Shaed beat the Elite last year, and they've yet to meet since. This has been driving the Elite crazy, and he's been obsessed on winning this match. The rules are simple...the winner is the first to climb over the cage and touch the floor with both feet."
"Simon Says" by Pharoahe Monch begins to play as the Elite comes out from the back for his first match in EAW for months. Cyrus is standing right behind him, and the fans boo him. He heads down to ringside and enters the cage via the door. The lights die down and....
"Engel" by Rammstein begins to play. "The Revenant" Shaed Bloodgrave then comes out to cheers, and no other members of the Knight Cross are with him. He walks down the ramp and gets in the ring, via the door. The door is ceremoniously locked, and the bell is rung. The Elite quickly takes advantage of the lack of rules with a thumb to the eye, then grabbing Shaed's hair and slamming his head into the wall of the cage. Shaed answers by shaking it off and hitting a belly-to-belly suplex. Elite armdrags Bloodgrave, then follows it up with a quick elbowdrop. He picks up Bloodgrave and snap suplexes him. Bloodgrave rises and clotheslines Elite, whipping him into the corner. He then hits a combination of punches to Elite's midsection, then backdashes, and hits a handspring back elbow. Elite staggers out of the corner and is dumped on the back of his head with a Falling Reverse DDT. Bloodgrave follows it up with a kneedrop from the top rope. Elite rolls away from Bloodgrave, but the Revenant locks on a Longbow Backbreaker, weakening him. The Revenant gets back up and begins to swiftly climb up the cage. Elite gets up and grabs his right ankle. He yanks on it, and when Shaed is yanked from the cage wall he is falls to the canvas, most of his weight landing on his left knee. Elite twists the ankle, and then applies a Figure-4. Bloodgrave turns it over, reversing it, and putting the pressure on Elite. Elite breaks free and crawls away, and gets back up. Elite then hits Bloodgrave with a right jab, a left jab, headbutt, and a shot to the kidneys. Sets him up...E-Slam!!! His old finisher!! He then attempts to escape from the cage, but Bloodgrave gets back up and follows him. At about midway to the top, they are neck and neck...Bloodgrave elbows Elite in the temple...Elite slams Bloodgrave's head into the cage. He then throws his arm around Shaed, hooks his leg...and SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP OFF THE CAGE WALL!!! Both Elite and Bloodgrave lay motionless in the middle of the ring. The Revenant is the first to his feet, hopping over Elite and hitting a standing moonsault. Elite instintively kicks out, although the match cannont be won by pinfall.
Elite gets back up...low-blow to Bloodgrave!! Elite hoists Shaed over his shoulder and hits a shoulderbreaker, and a legdrop. He lifts him back up...SKY HIGH!!! Elite then climbs heads for the nearest cage wall...and begins to climb it. Bloodgrave is a little too close to that wall, and begins to shake it frantically...causing Elite to fall off--INTO THE OPEN ARM OF BLOODGRAVE!!! He shouts out "SHO GEKI HA!!!" and hits the SUDDEN IMPACT!!!
He then begins to climb up the cage...but Cyrus, standing on the outside, sees it, and grabs a steel folding chair from ringside and begins to ascend the cage himself. They are about eye-level as they near the top. Cyrus slams Bloodgrave's head against the top of the cage, then swings the chair once....twice...three times. Bloodgrave begins to slip and lose his grip--Elite is up--and Cyrus is at the very top of the cage...boot to the side of Bloodgrave's head...another one..and BLOODGRAVE FALLS OFF!! Elite catches him with a reverse neckbreaker, and locks on the Crossface Armbreaker. Cyrus throws the chair in and finishes climbing over the cage, and into the ring. He lays the boots into Bloodgrave, and jams the chair into Bloodgrave's neck, elbow, and back. Elite releases the hold, and helps Cyrus set him up for...THE CYRUS SPIKE!! With Cyrus keeping Bloodgrave more than busy, Elite climbs to the top and over the cage, dropping to the ground and getting the win.
WINNER BY ESCAPE FROM CAGE --> The Elite
Mayhem fades to black as Elite and Cyrus celebrate on the outside.