Styles: Welcome everyone! I'm Joey Styles along with Jerry "the King" Lawler, and welcome to EAW Tuesday Night Mayhem!!!

King: Lilith is HERE TONIGHT!!!

Styles: Yes, she is King...and for her last night with Triple H and Hera, she'll be teaming up with Triple H, in a NON-TITLE MATCH, against our new Tag Team Champions, Anubis and Horus of the Commission! "The Revenant" takes on Mechius! Two Television Title qualifying matches! The debut of Nick Sparks!!

King: But first...the vixen, Scarlett Foxfire takes in Big Yiffy in a TV Tourney qualifying match!

TV Title Tournament Qualifying Match:
"Big Yiffy" Colley Dogstar Vs. Scarlet Foxfire

"Of Wolf and Man" by Metallica (S&M version) begins to play, and "Big Yiffy" comes out...dressed in his Kevin-Nash-ripoff outfit...and gets a huge face pop...

King: You know...although this match is between two members of a tag team, both Colley and Scarlet are looking to solve some personal issues between each other in this match.

The dance music from Iczelion begins to play over the PA, and Scarlet Foxfire, the other half of Wildpack 2000, comes out...to face pops and whistles...

King: *whistles*

Styles: Settle down, King.

Scarlet gets in the ring...the bell rings.

Styles: Scarlet and Colley sizing each other up...lock up...Scarlet down to one knee! Colley pounds on the back of Scarlet...trying to set her up. NO! Double leg takedown by Scarlet!

King: Scarlet straddles his chest...and pounds the hell out of him!! Whooo-hooo!

Styles: Colley throws her off--WITH AUTHORITY!! Follows it up with a charging knee to the chest. And rolls Scarlet to the outside, but she grabs the ropes.

King: Colley's a little more aggressive than usual...in wresting annoucer terms, i-e he's pissed!

Styles: *laughs* I would say so..Colley stomps at her fingers...Scarlet is out of the ring! Colley rolls out to join her...kick-DDT combo by Scarlet! Scarlet climbs on the apron--Colley up--ASAI MOONSAULT!! Scarlet picks up Colley by the nape...SLAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE STEEL GUARDRAIL!! Scarlet puts the boots to Colley!

King: Geez...nothing like a nice friendly match between two good friends...

Styles: Elbow to the top of Colley's head.

King: Scarlet rolls in at six.

Styles: Colley gets on the apron, steps over the ropes...Scarlet charges! Caught by the boot of Colley! Colley picks her up by the head, and looks to be setting him up for one of his powerbombs...RUNS TO THE CORNER--TRAP POWERBOMB!! Scarlet lands right on her ass in the corner.

King: Colley is walking away...and that can only mean...

Styles: BRONCO Buster!! Colley goes for it...Scarlet gets the boot up!! Almost nailed him in the GROIN!

King: Ouch! *cough*

Styles: Scarlet up...a powerbomb of her own...follows it up with a driving elbow...and the 10-57!! But Colley breaks free..

King: She needs to weaken him more before going for the submission.

Styles: Scarlet whips him to the ropes--bounces of the near ropes...SPINNING HEEL KICK!! Scarlet up...butterfly suplex!! Runs up to the corner...Moonsault!! First pin attempt this match!!

King: Kick out by Colley!

Styles: Colley picks up Scarlet...DROPS HER THROAT FIRST ACROSS THE ROPES!!! Hops over above her head...

Kings: He's removing the elbowpad, and...it's...the CANO'S ELBOW!!!

Styles: YES! Colley bounces off the ropes...hops over...off the other ropes...DROPS THE ELBOW!!!

King: One...two...no!?

Styles: He picks her up...a powerbomb!...two powerbombs! AND THREE!! THE THIRD IMPACT!!! ONE...TWO...THREE!!! Dogstar advances!!

WINNER BY PINFALL >>> "Big Yiffy" Colley Dogstar; Qualifies for the Television Title Tournament

TV Title Tournament Qualifying Match:
"The Franchise" Shane Douglas Vs. Kane

"Perfect Strangers" by Deep Purple begins to play, and "The Franchise" Shane Douglas comes out to boos from the crowd, but he just smiles and ignores them.

Kane's theme begins to play as the lights go down...then his trademark red pyros explode from the entrancway!

King: *King shriek* I HATE THAT!!!

Styles: Here comes Kane! But the Franchise is just staring a hole right through him...waiting for him to come to the ring, and is actually egging him on!!

King: *yells to Shane* Come on Douglas!! Beat that Big Red Retard's ass!!

Kane steps over the ropes...and gets in the center of the ring, slowly raises his arms..and drops them, causing pyros to explode from the ring post, but Douglas jumps him from behind.

Styles: Douglas strikes Kane in the back *bell rings*, and whips him to the ropes...catches him on the way back with a back elbow. Locks on a sleeper...Kane sits up...gets up...drops him with a modified jawbreaker!!

King: Douglas back up, chop to chest...another one!

Styles: Douglas backs him to the corner...wails on Kane!!

King: *shreiks* Kane grabs Douglas around the neck

Styles: Throws HIM into the corner! Plants a boot underneath the chin!! Douglas staggers out of the corner...Kane from behind--MULE KICK by Douglas!!! The referee missed that one!

King: Thatta boy, Franchise!!

Styles: That had to hurt!?!

King: Not as much as when he was in that accident *sings* Chestnuts...roasting over an open fire!

Styles:......ookay...Douglas capitalizes with a PILEDRIVER!! Kane sits back up...ROLLING NECK SNAP!!! And Kane's head bounces back off the canvas.

King: Kane sits back up!!

Styles: DROPKICK by Douglas!!

King: Stay down and let Douglas pin you, Kane! That way he won't have to kick your ass anymore!!

Styles: Douglas stops to get in the face of Kane--BIG MISTAKE!!! KANE HAS DOUGLAS!!! KANE HAD DOUGLAS!! Chooooooooooooke-SLAM!!!! Picks him back up...whip to the ropes...TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM!!!

King: Now that idiot is going up top

Styles: Looks like that lariat he likes to use! Douglas, stunned, gets up to his feet...CAUGHT WITH THE LARIAT!

King: Walked right into it...

Styles: Scoops up Douglas...looks like a Tombstone! Wait...Douglas...fighting it...tries to wiggle free...slips behind...could he hit the Tombstone on Kane?!? NO!! He hoists him over his shoulder--RUNNING POWERSLAM!!!

King: Now that, Styles, is talent! He fought out of the Tombstone.

Styles: Some other, p****y feds have banned that move! Anyway, both men are down...Kane sits up...Douglas crawling on his hands and knee Kane up...Schoolboy attempt by the Franchise---one count only. Douglas has Kane!! BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!!! One-two-NO!!!

King: Kane kicked out!

Styles: Douglas is very frustrated, he wants to finish of Kane, but he keeps taking more and more punishment and comes back for more. He cinches Kane...Hanging Vertical Suplex--No, Kane slips free...REVERSE DDT!! Kane goes for the pin...one...two...barely kicks out!!

King: Come on, Douglas!

Styles: Douglas hangs back...trying to plan what to do...he's thrown just about everything he has at Kane, but Kane is still standing!! He....ducks out of the ring?

King: Smart move by Douglas...taking time to regroup.

Styles: Kane is confused, but he follows Douglas, flipping out backwards and landing on his feet...Douglas taunting Kane...Kane charges with a clothesline!!! Drop Toe Hold by Douglas!! Kane lands face first into the steps and snaps his neck back!! Kane gets back up!!! He had Douglas!! Military Press--THROWS DOUGLAS INTO THE RING FROM THE FLOOR!!!

King: To quote Hunter, "He may be a retard...but he's a TOUGH retard!!"

Styles: Kane grabs the steel steps and throws them into the ring. Kane has lost it...he's going to tear Douglas apart and he doesn't care what happens!

King: Oh no!! What's he doing! That idiot is back in the ring! He's got Douglas again!!

Styles: He hoists Douglas up again....gets on top of the stairs--NO!!! THIS IS THE MOVE THAT NEARLY PARALYZED KANDY!!...KANE!!!

King: *King Shreik*

Styles: OH MY GOD!!!!

*bell rings*

Styles: Blatant disqualification!! Douglas wins this match!!

King: Douglas....is he okay?!

Styles: Kane is leaving...

King: But here come the Misfits!! This guys crack me up!!

Styles: Rock has a bat! Booker T has a Steel Chair! NO!!! Douglas is already out!! Leave him the hell alone!!!

King: For once, I agree with Styles...

Booker T drops the chair and pick up Douglas!! Bunt by the Rock right into the forehead of Douglas, now they're attacking him with the bat and chair!!!! They lay in some boots...and another hit with a bat!! They pick him back up!! What more can they do?!

King: Book End/Rock Bottom Combo!! Double Team by the Misfits!!

Styles: The Misfits duck out...we have to go to a commercial break, and clear Douglas out of the ring, he will need some medical attention...when we come back, the Rock takes in the Minister in the Boiler Room!!

WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION >>> "The Franchise" Shane Douglas **Commercial Break**

Before the Rock gets into the Boiler Room....

the cameraman catches up and says,"Guys Guys can i get a sec! Alright why did you guys just attack the Franchise Shane Douglas?

Booker T-Now camera man you are really making me mad i knew you guys would be coming up to me asking why the rock and i took out Shane Douglass! Well the reason is plain and simple, Franchise we asked you a long time ago to be in the misfits and i wanted just a yes or no answer from you! But did the MisFits get an answer? No we didnt! So Franchise now you know why we just dropped you like a bad habit!

Camera man-What are you commentsd on what you just did Rock?

Rock-To be honest with you! The Rock really didnt even expierence about what happend to the franchise! The Rock really didnt even care about what happened to that no good non Franchise! Cause Shane Douglas if you would have gave my 2 buds 2pac and Booker T just an answer, you wouldnt have to put up with that! But your lucky we didnt take you out even more! But we are not through with you yet Franchise so watch your back at all times

The Rock then slips into the Boiler Room for the next match.

Boiler Room Brawl
"The Minister" Maximillian Kael vs. The Rock

[Written by Booker Wolf]

Both men already in the boiler room.

"The rules are of a boiler room brawl match is simple; weaken your opponent enough, so you are able to escape through the boiler room door. Easy, eh?"

"Whoa, and Minister is starting the match off early with a kick to the mid-section to Rocky! Minister with a hard whip, and Rocky goes flying into a stack of poles. Minister picks up a sheet of glass, and SLAMS IT ONTO ROCK'S HEAD! Rock could be out after that move", screams Joey Styles while commentating the match."

"Now, Minister has one of those iron pipes that Rock was threw into. Now, he's punishing the Rock's leg, as he's hitting he's Rock's right leg viciously with that iron pipe! Minister drops the pipe, and now a single leg right on that right leg. After this match, Rock may be limping for awhile!"

"After *this* match, I know where I'll be..in the women's dressing room!"

"Don't you think of anything, *expect* women and sex, King?"

"Hm..not as far as I know!"

"Will you get your mind off of a sex for one minute and get to the match? *Sighs* 'Minister' has Rock on his feet, but Rock can hardly walk..he's limping. Mr. Kael now with stiff hard kicks focusing all his attention on Rock's right leg and knee. Minister has a strong game plan going, if he can take Rock's "wheels" from under him, it will stop him from escaping through that boiler room door. Now, Minister picks up steel chair that was laying on the ground..and A MONSTEROUS chair shot to the shin of Rock's already injured right leg. Minister grabs Rock before he could fall, and now a lighting fast dragon leg screw to Rocky. Wait, Minister held on to the move, and ANOTHER dragon leg screw. With attacks like this from the Minister, he could easily win this match. Minister now with Rock's leg, and a stepover toehold into a facelock! Or simply put a STF. Minister is really wrenching the move on the Rock..there's no ropes in a boiler room, so Minister could hold the move on as long as he wants. Finally, Minister breaks the hold and picks up Rocky. Minister with a kick in the breadbasket, and DDT!! Rock's head was just driven into the CONCRETE by Minister. Minister is making sure he's going to win *this* match. Minister again lifts up Rocky, and a sudden LOW-BLOW BY ROCK! Rocky mounting a rush of offense..and a two punches followed with a helluva slap to the face of Minister. But, Minister doesn't go down..and Rock is going for the "Maivia Hurricane", wait SAMOAN DROP! Rock's back must be killing him..falling on that ground with all that impact! Minister is battling the Rock all the way up the stairs to the top level of the boiler room where either man could be seriously hurt if one of them falls from up there. Minister is running at The Rock, and a TILT-TO-WHIRL BODYSLAM! I shudder to think if that platform didn't hold the weight of Minister crashing into it. Minister now quickly back to his feet, and Rock with a right hand to the jaw of Minister. Rock with one more for count, and he pulls back for another, but Minister with a counter. Minister ducks the punch, hooks Rock's arm, lifts him..and..OH MY JESUS!!! A DVD OFF THE PLATFORM ON THE COVERLESS CONCRETE! Minister has the match completely won, all he has to do now is to get out of that boiler room door! get out the door. Minister also took allot out of that fall..Minister has reached the door. Now, all he has to do is..YES!

"MINISTER IS OUT THE DOOR! Minister wins it!"

WINNER VIA Escaping the boiler room >>> "The Minister" Maximillian Kael

The Rock crawls out of the Boiler Room, but...All of a sudden Minister's music is cut, and "Am I Evil" by Metallica plays over the P.A. system and a man and a woman run onto the scene and begin to attack Booker T and the Rock. The man is 6'7" tall and looks to be almost 500 lbs! The girl is small, 5'11" and skinny, probly about 185 lbs. the girl grabs the mic.

Wraith: Ladies and gentle men, we are Onslaught! We are here in the EAW, and we are unstopable! Actions do speak louder then words, and that is why we had to lay waste to these two pethedic bumbs!

Titan: Fortunatly for them, Wraith wouldn't let me do exactly what I wanted to them... but I'm warning every tag team in the back, when any of you half whited punks get into the ring with us... it will be pure dommination and devistation presented to you, and the crowd, curtacy of the human onslaught!

Am I Evil plays again, and Onslaught leaves the scene.

Nick Sparks vs. Rik Felstrom

[Match written by Nick...not Sparks, but pretty electric; Thanks man!] Styles:We have an Amazing Match up next! We have some new blood coming here to the EAW in the name of Nicky Sparks!

King: Yeah, but doesn't he look just a little like..Crusifix?

Styles: You know something King, you have a very valid point there..do you think that maybe Crusifix has a hidden twin brother some where? Or do you think he just pulled this guy out of a look alike contest?

King: You guess is as good as mine Styles!

Styles: Do you have to yell?

King:..sorry

"We Will Rock You" by Queen echos in the arena as Rik Felstorm steps out from back stage. He makes his way down to the ring with the crowd singing along to his theme music. He rolls into the ring and jumps up pacing, waiting for his opponent. Shorty in the brief silence after "We Will Rock You" ends, "Hard Core" by Nexus Armada as "The Renegade" Nick Sparks steps out onto the ramp, met with a mixed reaction. No one knew what exactly he was doing here, nor wether he was face or heel. Nick gets into the ring and narrows his eyes at Rik.

Styles: Well King, now we get to see just how good this Nick Sparks is, taking on a veteran like Rik!

King: I thought you said no yelling?

Styles: No I just asked if you had to yell..

King:..oh..WELL LETS GET THIS MATCH UNDERWAY!!!

Styles:..Ok! Both men are in the center of the ring...they lock up! Rik and Nick lock it up in the center of the ring, trying to over power the other one..finally Rik is back up into the corner by some what larger Nick..the Ref tries to break them up..Nick gets in a gut shot before he is forced off by the Ref

Styles: Ohh..Cheap shot there by Nick.

King: That wasn't cheap! That was smart..if you want to beat some one like Rik you have to make sure that you don't let out any loss ends, you've to wear on him a bit!

Styles: Well I am sure our diffrent opinions could mean Jack right now.. Back in the ring Rik and Nick start to brawl, trading right hands as the crowd starts to cheer on Rik and the violence. Rik takes the advangtage and works Nick into the ropes. He whips him off the ropes and hits a Drop Toe Hold. Riks back up, and he puts Nick in an arm bar but Nick gets to the ropes and Rik is forced off Styles: The openings of this match are slightly in the favor of Rik. Nick may be holding back alitte but if he continues to do that threw this match he may lose it.. King: Thats true but.. Styles: NICK JUST BACK HANDED RIK! Rik is looking pretty pissed. Nick is getting into his face! King: Now THis is what we Need! Both men start to shove eachother which quickly turns into chopes acrossed the crest. Rik goes for his 3 chop but Nick ducks under it, goes around and puts him in a reverse head lock..Rik is fighing it..

Styles: OHMYGOD! Rik just Powered out of that! Had he has Nick up on his shoulder now!

King: I Can't Believe Rik just did that?!

Styles: Believe it King!

Rik bounces off the ropes with Nick still on his shoulder and plants in down in the center of the ring with a Power slam.

King: Nice Powerslam there by Rik! This match is slowly picking up! Rik goes for the pin..1..2..Kick out by Nick! Rik can Nick back up, and a nice Suplex there!

Styles: If Rik can lay it to Nick then I think Rik has this match won.

Rik picks up Nick and sends in him into the ropes. Nick returns and is met with a closeline..Rik goes for another pin..1..2..Kick out

Styles: Now Rik knows better then that! You have to hook the leg.

King: Well Styles when you're in the ring its all a spur of the moment thing..or Rik is just dumb

Styles: KING! Rik picks up Nick and sends him into the ropes but this time Nick reverse it and sends Rik into them. Nick hits a drop kick and sends Rik tumbling back threw the middle rope.

King: Well Riks on the outside now, I think he may have been caught off gaurd by that drop kick there..

Styles: What the hell is Nick doing? Nick bounces off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring from where Rik is just as Rik is getting to his feet. Nick hits a base ball slide on Rik, knocking him to the ground on the outside

King: AH! Did you see that! Rik just hit the barracade! Nick is picking him up now..he is whipped him into the ring pole!

Styles: Well this new blood is showing he can really get into a match..Nick is rolling Rik back into the ring..Nick is in the ring and he proceeds to stop away on Rik. He pick him up and executes a powerslam. He has Rik up again and he sends him into the Corner.. Nick charges but is caught with a reverse elbow from Rik. Rik pushes Nick into the corner and starts to stomp away. He drags Nick out of the corner and sends him into the ropes once more, hitting the Hobbes Pounce.

Styles: Rik with the Hobbes Pounce! He is really laying down those fists of his into Nick..He grabs the legs from behind and goes for the pin..1..2..Nick Kicks out!

King: Well Nick had some momentum going there for a second but then he was stopped cold by Rik. Rik is picking up Nick now..He LOCKED ON THE 10-57!!

Styles: Oh but he was to close to the ropes! Nick was able to get over to them~ Rik picks up Nick and throws him into the ropes..one his way back..

Styles: DOUBLE CLOSE LINE! Both men are on the ground!

King: That was a desperation move done there by Nick..but both men are starting to get up.. The ref goes to see if Nick is ok. Rik gets up and charges Nick's back not seeing the ref..Nick moves out of the way.

Styles: Rik just hit the ref!

King: He SHOULD BE SUSPENDED FOR THAT!!

Styles: You know he didn't mean it damn it! Nick with a low blow on Rik. Rik falls to his knees and Nick grabs him by his hair dragging him out into the middle of the ring.

King: Nick just hit a powerbomb on Rik..Nick slides to the outside of the ring and reaches under the ring..what the hell is he looking for? A TABLE!

Styles: Nick just got a Damn table out!..He is setting it up..Rik is starting to come to again.. Nick slides back into the ring and grabs Rik. He goes over to the corner closest to the table and starts to climb it. He is finally balancing on the top rope with with Rik's head tucked between his legs and riks feet on the second rope.

King: YOU KNOW A FALL LIKE THAT WOULD DO TO A HOMO-SAPIEN!? I SURE DO BUT I DON'T THINK I KNOW WHAT IT WOULD DO TO A CANO SAPIEN!

Styles: I think were about to find out!! WAIT!! RIK JUST COUNTERED! He Hit Nick in the groin with the back of his head! He sets Nick Up for a Super Plex!

King: AHHH!!! Styles: OH MY GOD!! SUPER PLEX WITH A FLOAT OVER!..COME ON REF! The ref slowly makes his way over to the but before he can start to administer a pin fall Deanna and Overlord run down.

Styles:..What the hell? What the hell are they doing down here King!?

King: How should I know! Deanna walks around and the ref slowly makes his way over to her, telling her she has to leave, but Deanna grabs the ref and starts to yell at him. Meanwhile Rik is still covering Nick. Overlord sneaks up onto the top turn buckle behind him. Rik never see it coming..

Styles: THE GIANT LEAP ONTO RIK!

King: I think Overlord Just Killed Rik and Nick at the same time!! He's pulling Nick over Rik!!

Styles:THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!

Deanna jumps down and lets go of the ref..the ref runs over and two the two men..1..2..3..

Styles: NO! DAMN IT NO! RIK HAD THIS MATCH WON!

King: Hey, Sh*t happens..

Styles: KING!! THIS ISN't RIGHT, OVERLORD HAD NO BUSINESS OUT HERE!

Suddenly, the lights go out and the words "I'm Coming For You" Appear..

The camera shifts to the back, where Hunter, Hera, and Lilith are getting ready to go out to ring....Flyboy passes them...then stops.

"Hey, Hunter!!" Flyboy yells. Hunter looks back, "Good luck on your match," Flyboy says, then turns and continues walking...

Tag Team Non-Title Match:
"The Decadent" Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Lilith vs. the Commission (Anubis and Horus)

"The Way I Am" by Eminem plays over the PA, and "The Decadent" Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/ Hera) comes out to a mixed reaction...but when the music leads into "Spookshow Baby (Black Leather Catsuit Remix)" by Rob Zombie, the fans begins to cheer madly for Lilith...who follows out Hunter and Hera...

King: It's HUNTER!!! And LILITH!!! WHO-HOOOO!!!

Hunter, Hera, and Lilith walk down to the ring...but suddenly the lights go out, and the squeaking of wheels fills the arena...suddenly, a large object that resembles a (phallic) parade float is wheeled out, pretty much completely covered up with a tarp. It appears that an...antennae(?) Is protruding straight upward from it.

Lilith takes the mic, "Waaaaaaaaazzzup Las Vegas!?!?!"

The crowd pops huge for Lilith.

"Las Vegas...I've had a ball over the past month or so...and it's been loads of fun...but tonight is my last day with Hera and Hunter."

*Awwwwwwwwwww*

"Fire the...uh...torpedos!?!"

Huge wads of confetti shoot from the tip of the giant covered-up phallic object...then Lilith goes into another ripped off spiel.

"This goes out to the millions...and millions of babes and studs I've bagged in my lifetime...for the ones that I will...and for those two robotic Edge and Christian clones in the back waited for me and Hunter to Layeth the Smack Down on their Candy Asses!! ......Because, hey, they could use a good spanking...If you smelllllllllllalallalallaalallaal *wags her tongue at the mic*

King: I'm jealous of that mic...

"What the Succubus...................................is cooking!"

"Mars, The Bringer Of War" by Holst begins to play....and the Cyber Commission walks out from the back, proudly holding their tag team title belts up high....but as they walk past the...uh...object...they begin to twitch...some parts of their body begin to move as if not under their control.

Styles: Here comes the Cyber Commission, but...is there something wrong with them?! They make their way down to the ring...Lilith bounces off the car ropes...PLANCHA!!! Lilith takes out both of them...and throws Horus into the ring.

King: Horace?!

Styles: Horus!

King: Horace Hogan?! Where?!

Styles: NO! The guy in the ring *bell rings*. Lilith and Horus start off....Lilith takes Horus down with a spinning neckbreaker!

King: GO LILITH!!

Styles: Horus up....armdrag! Picks up Lilith--bearhug.

King: No...his hands are moving southward...

Styles: He's groping Lilith's ass!

Lilith giggles, then throws her arms around Horus, and begins to make out with him HARD!

King: *King Shreik* I WANT IN!! I WANT IN!!!

Styles: Horus backs off...Anubis is jumping up and down on the apron, begging for a tag!

King: I'd like to tag Lilith...and I don't mean her hand.

Styles: Anubis reaches out...and tags himself in.

King: Damn....

Styles: Anubis is backing into the corner...slumps down?!

King: He's INVITING the Bronco buster?!

Lilith shrugs her shoulders, but then is more than willing to oblige...

Styles: Lilith runs in...BRONCO Buster on Anubis!!

King: Whooo-hooo!!

Styles: What is with these two jackasses?!

"Criminal" by Eminem begins to play...and Flyboy runs out from the back, and to the announcer's desk, and puts on a headset.

"Good evening, asshole," he greets them.

King: Our World Heavyweight Champion!!

Flyboy: Looks like everyone's having a grand ol' time, here. Horus tagged back in...and now he's slinging Lilith to the corner...spins her around..ooooooo...a nice slap on the ass.

King: He's spanking that naughty girl Whoo-hoooo!

Flyboy glances over at ringside where Hera is watching the match.

Flyboy: Gotta go, guys...other things on my mind...

He jumps up and goes over to where Hera is standing...and...seems to be trying to strike up a conversation with her?

Styles: Flyboy flirting with Hera? Has the entire world except me gone insane!?!

Suddenly, Flyboy grabs Hera...by the nipples that are clearly visible through her shirt!

King: *King Shreik* Flyboy's at it again!!

Styles: Hera slaps Flyboy...back in the ring...Lilith is straddling Horus...shots to the head!!

"Am I Evil" by Metallica begins to play...and the new tag team, Onslaught, runs down to the ring.

Styles: Oh no!!! As if this match wasn't already f***ed up enough?!? Here is Onslaught!!

King: Lilith clears out! Come here, baby! I'll keep you safe!

Titan, the male, gets in the ring and grabs Horus....he sets him up for a powerbomb...and as he drops him Wraith adds a running reverse bulldog from the ropes to it.

Styles: That's the move they call the RPM!! The Commission wins via Disqualification!! Now Flyboy is in...springboard Dropkick on Titan!! Wraith going after Flyboy...Fly-Down on Wraith!!

Titan gets up and goes after Flyboy...but is stopped by a high knee from Hunter!

Styles: Helmsley finally in the ring! High Knee! Sets him up! Pedigree from Helmsley on Titan. Onslaught just cost Hunter and Lilith the match!

**Commercial Break** Mechius vs. "The Revenant" Shaed Bloodgrave

The rampway had been cleared during the break...it looks as if all order has been restored...for the time being. "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins to play...and Mechius walks out through the entranceway and down to the ring...and waits for his opponent.

"Engel" by Rammstein begins to play...and the lights go down.

"The Revenant" Shaed Bloodgrave comes out to a huge pop...and stares at Mechius in the ring. He climbs inside....and waits for the bell to ring.

Styles: There's the bell! Bloodgrave starts off with a beautiful snap suplex! Mechius back up....Thesz Press..One count...Bloodgrave whips him to the corner. He lets loose a series of kicks...ending with a spinning back kick! Mechius stumbles out...BACKDROP! But Mechius springs back up, and launches at Bloodgrave with a spear!! Mechius back up...he whips Bloodgrave to the ropes...he bounces off--SPINEBUSTER ON BLOODGRAVE!!! Mechius picks him back up--ANOTHER ONE!!! ANOTHER!!! Three spinebusters in a row!!

King: I like the Cyber Commission better.

Styles: Mechius is STILL holding onto his legs....Slingshots him into the corner. Shaed scrambles to his feet...he's on the ropes...Mechius charges in--SUPERKICK by Shaed!!

King: KLANG!!!

Styles: Shaed mounts the turnbuckle...Moonsault Attack on the rising Mechius.

King: Wonder who that hurt more?

Styles: Bloodgrave on the attack...locks on a Bow and Arrow!!

King: I somehow don't think that move is going to have much effect.

Styles: Bloodgrave releases the hold...Mechius is up...grabs Bloodgrave around the neck!!

King: *King Shriek* Shutdown!!!

Styles: One...two...NO!! Bloodgrave up...go behind...FALLING REVERSE DDT!!! Bloodgrave hops over...MOONSAULT PRESS!!! ONE----TOSSED OFF BY MECHIUS!!!

King: *King shreik*

Styles: Clothesline by Mechius!! He runs and bounces off the rope...rolling senton!! STANDING MOONSAULT!!!

King: One...two only!

Styles: Bloodgrave whips him to the corner....follows up with a combination of punches to the breadbasket!! Shaed climbs up, and begins punching Mechius!

1

2

3

4

5

Styles: Mechius has Shaed by the neck again!! Charges out of the corner...ANOTHER SHUTDOWN!!!

King: But Bloodgrave is rolling to the side...and getting back up!!

Styles: Mechius with another clothesli--NO!! BLOCKED!! FUJIWARA ARM BAR!!! Mechius pops up a little slower!! Spinning DDT!!!

Styles: Bloodgrave picks Mechius up....Irish Whip...on the return--SUDDEN IMPACT!!!! ONE---

King: Two!

Styles: THREE!!!

WINNER BY PINFALL >>> "The Revenant" Shaed Bloodgrave **Commercial Break**

6-Person Elimination Match:

[Written by Krist Jonsson] When we come back from the break, Duke The Dumpster Drosse, Sonnette, BadBoy, and T-Bone are in the ring.Elite's thememusic begins toplay over the P.A. and hecomes to the ring to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Elite gets into the ring and as soon as he does, he goes after Badboy. He starts pummeling away on him. The others take a cue from him and begin to fight amongst themselves.

JS: Well we've got an early meelee going on here, andOverlord hasn't even been introduced.

"Like a rock.... like aplanet, LIKE A FUCKING ADOM BOMB!" are thewords blasted loudly across the P.A. Wasted Youth Crew playsdirectly after,and pyro blasts off as Overlord runs out from behind the curtain. He runs out andslides under the bottomrope to the sound of a popfrom the crowd. The question is, are they cheering for the match, or Overlord?

KING: Here comes Overlord! Overlord goes right after Sonnette and begins to pummel away on her. Duke sees Overlord and goes right after him. Duke pulls Overlrod off Sonnette and begins to pummel him hard. Sonnette comes from behind Overlord, and her and Duke work together, throwing Overlord over the top rope. T-Bone awaits on the apron, in his corner for a tag while Elite is pummeling Badboy near uncontious in the corner. Duke and Sonnette go to the outsideto attack Overlord, but Overlord bounces back with a kick to the gut to Sonnette, backing her away. Overlord whips Duke into the steel steps and the fans respond with an "OOOOOH" Overlord then goes running in and cloths lines Sonnette to the ground, then he kneals down over her and begins wailing away on her face.

JS: Look at Overlord go!

KING:Look at Overlord go!? LOOK AT ELITE GO!

Elite grabs BadBoy by the hair, getting him to his feet.

JS:Elite lifts up Badboy, lookslike he's going for theearly elimination of Badboy!

KING: THEELIMINATOR!!! One! Two! Three! Badboy's out a' here!

T-Bone runs into the ring and starts attacking Elite. Elite is backed into the corner by thepunches from T-Bone. Duke is on the apron now, while Overlord whipsSonnette into the steel steps, just like he did Duke. T-Bone whips Elite into the corner, and Elite tags outto Duke Drosse. Overlrod gets on the apron and waits for a tag, while inside, Duke kicks T-Bone in the gut. Duke whips T-Bone into the ropes and goes for acloths line, but T-Bone ducks and comes near Overlord. Overlord clobbers T-Bone in the back of the head, T-Bone falls, and Overlord climbs through the ropes, and gets T-Bone to his feet. Overlord throws T-Bone outside the ring, hitting Sonnette as she gets up, but Duke doesn't waiste any time, and he goes right after Overlord. He double axe handles Overlord to the back of the head, the whips Overlord into the ropes. Dukeruns in as Overlord comes bounding back, and spears into Overlord. Duke begins pummelingOverlord, but Overlordflips Duke off him into a sunset flip.

KING: The pin, one,two

JS: Reversal by Duke!

Duke uses his legs as salad tongs, then rolls back, and grabs Overlord'slegs and puts pressure on his shoulders.

KING: Pinning combonation!

JS: But only two, Overlord reverses!

Overlord pushesDuke away, and both men get to their feet. Overlrod runs in and ducks under a clothsline by Duke.Overlord stops and waits for Duke to turn, when he does....

KING: Great cresent kick by Overlord right to the face! And a leg drop now! T-Bone is on the apron, Overlord sees him as he stands up and runs,lungeing over the top rope, catching T-Bone in a cross body all the way to the floor. Duke is up, Elitefrom behind, School boy pin!

JS: One, two, NO! Dukekicks up.

Now, Duke and Elite just fight it out on the inside of the ring, while Overlord pummels T-Bone. Sonnette, who has been watching most of thismatch now, comes from behind Overlord and begins to beat away on the back of his head. Overlordrolls back into the ring tog et away from her, but Sonnette follows him and continues to pummel him. Sonnette then istold by the ref to get in her corner, she does so, and so does Elite, leaving Overlord and Duke again in the ring to fight it out. Overlord and Duke get up. Dukeruns at Overlord butOverlord side steps then drop toe holds Duke to the ground. Overlord snaps up and runs to Sonnette's corner and slugs her in the face, taging her in. Overlord gets out of the ring and goes to the outside to recover as Sonnette gets into the ring grudgeingly. Duke gets to his feet and is greeted by a side kick to the ribs from Sonnette. Sonnette sets up Dukefor a fisherman's suplex... perfect execution!

KING: 1......2...... NO! Duke Kick's out!

JS: The Dumpster is certainly showing alot of rezilliance here tonight.

Duke gets up and is greeted by punches by Sonnette. Sonnette whips Duke intot he ropes, reversal, drop kick by Duke! Sonnette gets up and Dukeruns in at her, clothsline over the top rope! Overlord now, seeing Sonnette is hurt, runs over and begins pummeling her. He then throws her back into the ring, but Duke tags in T-Bone. T-Bone comes in and offers his hand to Sonnette for her to shake. Sonnette instead shoulderblocks T-Bone in the gut andlifts him into a fireman's carry, she runs up the turnbuckle and jumpsoff!

KING: SONIC BOOM! Sonnette hits the sonic boom!

JS: The cover, two, and three, Sonnette Eliminates T-Bone!

Overlord now gets on the apron and sonnette punches him in the mouth, then jumps over the top rope.

KING: Sonnette returns Overlord's punch, making him the legal man now. In comes Duke Drosse too.

Duke and Overlord lock up, Duke is still a bit dazed, and Overlord kicks him in the nuts. Overlord then lifts up Duke and drops himdown backwards on his face in anelivated downward legsweep. Overlord then runs and jumps backward off the second rope, in a moonsault, then Overlordclimbs up to the top rope and nails Duke with the GiantLeap.

JS: GIANT LEAP! it's gotta be over for Duke now.

KING: 1...2...3...you're right Overlord has eliminated Duke The DumpsterDrosse, and now in comes Sonnette. Overlord and Sonnette lock up, Overlord grabs her arm and twists it around, then pulls her into a belly to belly suplex!

JS:The pin..... NO! only a two count!

Overlord holds Sonnette by her hand and shoulder, and hedrops a knee right down onto her arm. Overlord gets herto her feet by her hair, then gouges at her eyes. Overlord twists her arm again, but thistime spins it around into a hammerlock, then drops down into a reverse ddt.

KING: Overlord now is going to the top, MOONSAULT!

JS: One, two, three! Sonnette has been eliminated!

KING: Elite not waisting any time, he comes running in, school boy pin! ONe, two, NO!

JS: Overlord just barley got the shoulder up on that one.

Overlord get up to his feet quick, andElite and he are exchanging fists back and forth. Elite swings, Overlord ducks and BAM! Low blow! Overlordtrips down Elite, then locks him in a cross arm breaker.

KING: Elite wont submit!

Overlord releases the hold by rolling back, and once on his feet, heleg drops Elite. Overlord grabs Elite's leg, and leg dropsonto Elite's knee, then stands up, andapplies the figure fourleglock.

KING: Another very, very, painful submition hold applied by Overlord, but Elite still doesn't give up!

Eliterolls over, reversing thehold, but Overlordrolls again. The two both roll into the ropes until the ref forces the hold to be broken. Both men get up slowly. Overlord gets up first, but Elite nails him with alowblow, the TIGAR BOMBS OVERLORD OFF THE APRON TO THE OUTSIDE!

JS: My god! What a move by Elite!

Elite gets back onto theapron and delivors a leg drop from the apron to the outside, onto Krist. Elite grabs Overlord by the hair and gets him to his feet. Elite rolls Overlord onto the announcer's table, as Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler scatter away. Elite gets on top of the table aswell, and sets Oevrlord up for what looks to be a suplex, but drops him down into a brainbuster THROUGH THE TABLE! Elite gets up quick and begins to stomp away on Overlord elite grabs a handful of hair, and rolls Overlord into the ring. Overlord snaps up as Elite startsgetting into the ring. Overlord is up, and he starts putting the boots to Elite! elite gets up, Overlord and Elite are near the corner, and Overlord sets Elite up for a suplex away from the corner, but Elite reverses and suplexes Overlord, butOverlordlands back firston the steel post. Overlordflops over to his side, and is hanging on the post, and ropes. Elite sets up Overlord in a fireman's carry, and swings him around...

KING: THE ELIMINATOR OFF THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE!

JS: the pin... one....two....three! Elite wins!

Simon says begins toplay, but Elite grabs themic as Overlordrolls out of the ring.

Elite: You see! I told everyone.... (stops to catch his breath) ... that I was the best, Itold them that I was goingto beat everyone, and I did, and at retaliation, no matter who I have to fight, I'm going to be the Television champion!

As Elite is talking, Overlord grabs a chair.

KING: Overlrod's up! Overlord's got a chair, OVERLORD HITS ELITE! OVERLORD HITS ELITE AGAIN!

while Elite is down,Overlordslides out of the ring and goes under the ring. Overlord comes out with a table! Overlord slides the table intot he ring andsets it up. Overlord hits Elite with the chair one last time, then sets him up on the table and climbs the turnbuckle.

JS: GIANT LEAP THROUGH THE TABLE!

With that Wasted Youth Crew begins toplay, but Overlord grabs the mic now.

Overlord: Elite, you may have won tonight, but there is absolutly nothing that is going to stop me from winning the TV title! Elite, you arelikeschool in the summer time..... NO FUCKING CLASS!

With that the words "Like a rock.... like a planet, like a fucking adom bomb!" are screamed over theP.A. system, and right after, Wasted Youth Crew plays, bringing Overlord out of thering to a fairly large pop.

Singles Match
President Jay Vs. Badboy

[Written by Booker Wolf]

"Blood Brother" cues up, as Badboy himself comes out. The crowd gives Badboy a mix reaction, as he is to new for the EAW to judge him, yet. Badboy makes his way to the ring, and jumps on the top-rope and poses to the crowd, until "Make Me Bad" by KoRn starts as President Jay comes out with Trinity with a loud shouts of boo's. Jay just ignores the crowd, and walks to the ring, and rolls into the ring. Jay see Badboy posing, and quickly takes advantage, as the match gets underway.

"Jay is definitly trying to beat 'Boy early, as Jay low-blows him. Jay is getting on the rope where Badboy is still hurt. Jay with a back grapple, and GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE SECOND ROPE! Jay manages to hold onto on move, and gets a pin..one, two..three! NO! NO! Only a two count..Badboy was able to kick out just in time before Referee Ayane's hand was about to come down for a third time. Jay is already back on the top-rope, with Badboy still down from the super german suplex. Jay with a giant leap in the air, and Badboy boot catches Jay square in the mouth. Badboy back up, and Jay is staggering..DDT by Badboy to Jay! Badboy gets Jay back up, and a superkick by Badboy, but Jay ducks. Kick to the gut by Jay, Jay lifts Badboy in a reverse fireman carry poisition...BURNING HAMMER!! It's over..but wait.."

"Highway to Hell" by AC/CD cues up, and Juvenile comes running out.

"Juvenile has ran in the match, and Jay doesn't even see him coming. Jay turns around to late, and Juvenile has Jay in a front face bulldog poisition, and he's running to the turnbuckle..ACID DROP. NO! Jay throws Juvenile off and a EXPLODER '89! Now, Badboy is recovering..whip around on Jay, and..ONE POWERBOMB..TWO POWERBOMBS..into a Samoan Drop poisition and he lets Jay go?!?! Badboy is helping up Jay and he's embracing Jay?! Now, Juvenile is getting to it, and gets involve with the Jay and Badboy embracing? Jay stands in the middle with Badboy on his right side and Juvenile on his left."

Each man grabs each other hand and rises them, as fireworks goes off behind them. Trinity gets in ring, and kneels on the ground next to Jay.

"Could this be the stable the locker room was buzzing about? I'm sorry folks, EAW Tuesday Mayhem is out of time. For Jerry "The King" Lawler and Joey Styles, see you on the next edition of EAW Friday Night Riot Rulz™!"

Juvenile, Badboy, Jay, and Trinity celebrate in the ring, as EAW Tuesday Night Mayhem, fades to black.

WINNER >>> NO CONTEST