The opening pyros for Mayhem go off in the MCI Center, and the camera scans over the capacity crowd.
Styles: Welcome to the the MCI Center, and EAW Monday Night Mayhem!! I'm Joey Styles, along with Jerry "The King" Lawler.
King: Tonight Styles, I'm a little disappointed, because Flyboy isn't in the house...but his GIRLFRIEND IS!!
Styles: "Girlfriend" my ass! Anyway, we have three TV Title Tournament qualifying matches going on, and one of them is Kaye vs. T-Bone.
King: Whoooo-hooo!! Kaaaaaye!!
Styles: Kaye isn't just fighting to win this match, she's fighting so that she can give Black Widow an opportunity to get back in the Television Title Tournament.
King: It just goes to show you...Flyboy has great taste in women!!
Styles: First, though, will be a singles match between newcomer Hotshot, and the second match back for Krist "Overlord" Jonnson!!
Single Match:
Hotshot Vs. Krist "Overlord" Jonsson
The PA system announces "Hotshot has arrived at EAW" and then goes to Break the Walls Down! while Austin's music plays as green and blue pyros go off in the ring. Hotshot steps out onto the entrance ramp, back to the camera and crowd, as Poodle slinks out after him. He walks to the ring and waits for his opponent.
"Wasted Youth Crew" by Blood for Blood begins to play, as Krist Jonnson and Deanna walk out, and down to the ring.
Styles: Our first match is the Overlord versus Hotshot...Hotshot starts out quickly with a tackle...and a series of right hands to Overlord. He get up and off...Jonnson chop blocks his left leg out from under him. Rolls him...and stomps on the knee!! Hotshot up...Dragon Screw leg whip by Krist Jonnson. Jonnson charges in....drop toe hold by Hotshot...again with a series of Mounted Punches...Jonnson throws him off with a authority...
Jonnson is clearly the underdog here in this match, with the height and weight advantage going to Hotshot...but Jonnson with the edge on experience.
King: Maybe so, but Hotshot is pounding the hell out of Overlord!! I think he's bleeding.
Styles: I do believe you're right, King? It appears as though Overlord is bleeding from the lip. He's back up to his feet, and wiping the blood from the corners of his mouth...and he's at Hotshot!! Rights...lefts...jams and elbow to the side...side RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!!
King: And he turns in into a modified ab stretch submission!!
Styles: Jonnson lets go of the hold...he picks up Hotshot...whip to the corner. Set up...HUDENKAIRANA!!! FROM THE TURNBUCKLE!!! Overlord with the cover...2...and NO!!
King: Come on Hotshot!! Go for the low blow!! Beat on hiM some more!!
Styles: Overlord with a modified anklelock; systematically taking Hotshot apart. He releases...throw the ropes. Overlord looks like he's setting up for a springboard move...UP..OVER!!!
King: And DOWN!!! Springboard splash by Jonnson countered by that knee of Hotshots'!! Hooks the near leg....one and a half!! Overlord is up...kicks the leg out from under Hotshot!!
King: Another big man being taken down off his feet. Overlord is smart!!
Styles: That he is, King. Another Knee Stomp by Jonnson...He's hoisting Hotshot up...KNEEBREAKER!!! He's dragging him to the center of the ring...spins around!! FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK APPLIED!!!
King: I think this one's just about over Joey!
Styles: The referee is right up in the face of Hotshot...he's tapping...OVERLORD WINS VIA SUBMISSION!!!
WINNER BY SUBMISSION ---> Krist "Overlord" Jonnson
Styles comments, "A quick and impressive win by Overlord, going back to 'old-school' tactics, weakening the knees of Hotshot, then slapping on the Figure-4 for the win!"
The King ecstatically yells, "Up next, Kaye is taking on T-Bone in an EAW Television Title Tournament qualifying match!!!"
***Commercial Break: EAW Retaliation on July 23rd, 3 Musketeers, etc.***
We return from commercial break to Styles and the King at the announcers' table.
"The next match," Styles announces, "Will be for a spot in the Television Title Tournament. In recent weeks, Flyboy has been persuing Kaye...sexually. At last week's Mayhem he came out in an attempt to harrass Kaye while at the same time obeying the restraining order placed on him."
Footage is show of Flyboy holding up those lude signs from the entranceway.
Styles continues, "We've recieved word that Flyboy is not here tonight, so unless he shows up last minute, we should expect no interference or harrassment from the self-proclaimed 'Fly One.'"
"It's truly a sad night, then," the King says, siding with the heel per usual.
EAW Qualifying Match for the Television Title:
T-Bone Vs. Kaye
"War" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony plays as the EAWTron displays a Desert Camoflague background, on which a Red Tooth & Claw's red Claw emblem appears. the claw then tilts slight, moving off-screen, "Slashing" the background as it does, revealing a distinct slash-mark as id does, one divided in three parts. The middle and right pieces "Flicker" out of existance, as the left part of the slash moves center to the frame, and suddenlly re-arranges itself into the name "T-Bone" in red, slashed text. as it does so, a small explosion occurs on the entrance ramp. as it clears, it reveals T-bone in his RT&C outfit, holding an AR33 Assault Rifle. As the Music climaxes, he lets out several loud bursts from the gun before slinging it on his back, held there by a strap.
"Standing six feet tall...and weighing two-hundred thirty-four pounds....Red Tooth and Claw member--T-Bone!!"
He jogs to the ring, and slides inside.
"Burning Inside" by Static-X (featuring Burton C. Bell of Fear Factory) begins to play over the loudspeaker. Kaye's pyros go off, and the "Hot Pink Machine" steps out onto the entranceway, without Sasori, and slides her mask down over her face.
"Standing five-foot-eleven...and weighing in at one-hundred-sixty pounds...one half of the EAW Tag Team Champions, Scorpion's Pyre...Kaye of the Knight Cross!!"
She stalks to the ring, looking around carefully before pulling herself onto the apron like Kane, and stepping over the ropes. Her music is cut, and the bell rings.
Styles: Kaye starts off by attacking T-Bone...whip to the corner...clothesline in the corner....and boot across T-Bone's throat.
King: Ffffffeist-taaaaaay!!!!
Styles: Kaye seems to be taking out her frustrations on T-Bone! She grabs him around the neck...TOSSED OUT OF THE CORNER!!! Kaye takes a moment to adjust her gloves. T-Bone rises...Headlock by Kaye...Swinging Neckbreaker!! Follows it up...JUMPING ELBOW!!! T-Bone up...Arm wringer....swings her around..CLOTHESLINE!! T-Bone wrenching on the arm of Kaye now...releases it.
King: Come 'on Kaye baby...that fire fizzled out already?! Take it to Wolfie!!
Styles: Kaye is up...and has T-Bone by the back of the neck! Face first into the canvas. She's picking him back up...she locks her hands around his neck...hoists him up...Hanging Chokehold by Kaye....and tosses him back into the corner. T-Bone staggers out...tilt-a-whirl SLAM!
King: Now THAT's more like it!!
Styles: Kaye grabs the top rope for leverage...repeated stomps to the chest of T-Bone. She drags him to his feet...........STYGIAN BOMB!!! OMIGAHD!!! Cover...count....and NO!!! T-Bone's not quite out of juice yet. She picks him back up, elbow to Kaye's chin! Knee to the abdomen!! T-Bone peels out...and bounces off the far ropes--FLYING REVERSE BACK ELBOW!!! Follows it up with a leg across the throat. T-Bone picks Kaye up...INVERTED ATOMIC DROP! He drags her to the rope, and lays her right leg across it. Now T-Bone, attempting to take the leg out of Kaye, stomping away at the knee...dropping his posterier across the knee. He drags her away...and gets popped in the jaw by Kaye!!
King: Thatta girl, Kaye!! Bust him another one!!!
Styles: T-Bone setting her up for a catapault...SLINGSHOT ACROSS THE RING!!! Kaye gets back up...clotheslines T-Bone and nearly turns him inside out! She climbs up the rope...REVERSE ELBOW DROP!! Only a two count. T-Bone rams his shoulder into Kaye's side...and still holding on to it....sets her up--PUMPHANDLE DROP!! One, two, and oh,NO!!!
Kaye kicks out!! She reaches up....GRABS T-BONE BY THE THROAT!!! She stands up--ONE HANDED CHOKESLAM BY KAYE!! She hops up onto the turnbuckle....waiting for T-Bone for the twisting Lariat. T-Bone is standing...Kaye takes off...T-BONE DROPS AND ROLLS!!! Kaye takes a spill from the top rope!! T-Bone hooks it...one count only. Back into the armwringer...knee to the stomach...Kaye whips T-Bone--NO! Reversal....Bossman Slam on the rebound!! T-Bone picks up Kaye by the back of her neck...looks like he's cinching in the Ragnarok----THERE IT IS!!! THE RAGNORAK!!! ONE---TWO---THREE!!!! T-BONE advances! T-Bone advances!
King: And Black Widow won't get a TV Title Tourney slot...sniff.
WINNER BY PINFALL ---> T-Bone
Styles: Kaye just sat up! T-Bone offers a hand to Kaye... she just took her mask off... you can see the anguish in her eyes... she shakes T-Bone's hand and leaves the ring.
King: Ahh, man... what'll happen now?
Styles: Well, don't go away! We'll be right back!
***Everyone loves monkeys. ^_^***
Kaye walks down the hall... heading to the Knight Cross dressing room where Oseiko awaits her... looking more distraught than Kaye right now.
Kaye: ... Oseiko... I'm sorry, I really am... I pulled everything I could... wasn't enough...
BW: It's okay, Kaye-san... I understand... well... what now...?
Kaye: Don't tell me you're still thinking of leaving, are you, Oseiko--?
???: O... OSEIKO!!! OSEIKO!! HEY!!
Both Oseiko and Kaye turn to see "Code Red" Michael Connelly run up to them.
Code Red: Oseiko! Oseiko!! Oseiko, I don't want you to leave the EAW because you think you lost your step! You're so sweet and innocent and... there's not a lot of people in this sport like you... please don't go.
BW: ... Ohhhh... Michael-san... that's so nice of you to say!
Code Red: ... Oseiko... I heard you were looking for a title match, any title match... I'm willing to put up my People' Title at Riot Rulz with you if you want it. Well, Oseiko?
Oseiko blinkblinks... then clasps her hands in front of her as she open-mouth smiles cheerily.
BW: ... You... you mean it, Michael-san?! Ohhhh... ARIGATO!!!!!!
Oseiko flings her arms around Code Red, who's a bit startled by her sudden action... but manages to hug back as Kaye giggles softly...
We return to the ring just as "Blood Brother" cues up... and out comes Badboy with Livewire at his side into a chorus of boos.
Styles: Welcome back, everyone! Well, it's official! We may not have Kaye Vs. Black Widow at Riot Rulz this Friday, but we got Black Widow Vs. "Code Red" Michael Connelly for the People's Title instead!!
Lawler: Ohhh, I wish I was Code Red! I wouldn't mind a hug from that cutie!
Styles: Neither would the Elite... anyhow we got Badboy coming down the ring in this qualifying match for the TV title! Booker T's already in the ring... that man's no stranger to TV titles, King!
Lawler: Absolutely, Joey! But he should finish Badboy quickly, 'cause he's got that junkyard match with Mechius and Mortis later on! He wouldn't want to tire himself out against Badboy here!
Styles: Badboy's in the ring... referee Ayane Mitsui calls for the bell, and this match is underway!
EAW Qualifying Match for the Television Title
Booker T Vs. Badboy
Styles: Tie-up... Booker T with the armdrag! Badboy charges in, another armdrag!! Wait, Badboy counters with a POWERFUL clothsline! And Booker's down! A pick up from Badboy... but Booker counters! DDT!!
Lawler: Ohh, you can tell these two want the prize!
Styles: You got that right! Booker picks Badboy up, knees him-- AXE KICK!!! He goes for the pin, but Badboy kicks out at one!! Booker picks him up... wait, Badboy pushes him back-- SWEET CHIN MUSIC!! Badboy pins Booker-- one, two--NO, Booker kicks out! Booker grabs Badboy, pushes him back-- HARLEM SIDEKICK!! The pin, one, two-- but Badboy kicks out!! Booker is climbing up the top rope... yes, it looks like the Harlem Hangover-- NO!! Badboy gets out of the way!!! And Badboy takes advantage!!! DOUBLE POWERBOMB... into the DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!!! One... two... three!!! BADBOY gets a quick win over Booker T!!
Winner: Badboy
Lawler: Well, at least Booker T didn't exert too much... but I gotta wonder if he'll have enough for the Hardcore match!
Styles: And that's next!! Booker'd better get to the junkyard near the arena if he wants to be a part of it... and we'll be right back! Don't go away!!
***Where were you when they handed out the brains?***
Back from the commercial break, the scene now is a junkyard set at night.
Styles: We are back! And as you can see, We have our Hardcore match underway!! The EAW's been a part of a lot of firsts, King... the Graveyard match, the AAA Rules match, but here's another first! The Junkyard match!!
King: I tell ya, Styles, this is going to be so cool!! You never know what to expect in these kind of matches!
Styles: Mechius is already in the junkyard... Booker T has yet to show up and Mortis is nowhere to be seen... WAIT! THERE HE IS!!! He's got a... a CAR DOOR?! He just smacked Mechius in the back of the head with it!! Referee Teddy Long calls for the bell! This match is underway!!
Hardcore Title Junkyard Match
Mortis Vs. Booker T Vs. Mechius(c)
Mortis continues to strike Mechius repeatedly with the car door, then tosses it aside while Mechius tries to recover, going to a nearby car and ripping the engine from it! With a scream he throws the engine at Mechius, who manages to dodge it, then he grabs a car hood and leaps at Mortis, bringing the hard metal object down on Mortis' head! He's about to hit him again... until a car drives into the junkyard and hits Mechius head-on!!! Booker T exits the car and quickly goes to pin Mechius!
Styles: One, two-- NO!! My God!! Mechius kicked out!! How the hell did he kick out?!
King: He ain't human, Styles! Booker T is a mere mortal in a match of gods!! To say he's the underdog in this is an understatement!!
Booker T goes into his car and gets out the Club™, and he starts to... well, club Mechius with it! But Mortis is recovering... he goes to Booker's car trunk and with a crowbar found on the ground, he prys it open and gets out a pair of jumper cables! Then he charges at Booker and strikes him down with the crowbar!! With Booker down Mortis goes to his car and pops the hood open, then he hooks the jumper cables to the battery and looks down at Booker T and Mechius evilly.
Styles: OmiGod... he isn't.. he's not going to--!!! OHMYGOD!!!!!!!! HE JUST HOOKED BOOKER UP TO THAT BATTERY!!! HE'S ELECTROCUTING BOOKER T!!!!! THAT'S INHUMAN!!! DAMMIT, I KNOW IT'S A HARDCORE MATCH, BUT THAT'S JUST TOO FAR!!!
King: Now he's shocking Mechius!!! Geez!! Mortis, he's BEYOND hardcore!!!
Mortis tosses the jumper cables aside, then pins Mechius.
Styles: One, two, thr-NO! My God! Mechius got a shoulder up! After all that, he kicked out!!
Growling, Mortis steps away from Mechius and drags Booker T away... then locks him into the Agonizer!! Teddy Long checks on Booker to see if he'll tap out, but Booker looks to be EXTREMELY out of it... Teddy Long might stop the match-- but Mechius gets up!! And throws a big boot to Mortis' head, forcing him to release the submission move!! Booker T looks hurt as Mechius pays him no mind, concentrating on Mortis instead... both competitors trade blows, then suddenly Mechius grabs Mortis-- SHUT DOWN!! Mechius goes for the pin, but Mortis kicks out a two! Mechius then lets go of Mortis moving to a nearby wreck... and grabs two axes!!
Styles: My God, what the hell is Mechius going to do?! Wait... my God, don't!! DON'T-- OMI..... GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
Mechius had just swung both axes down and violently severed Mortis' right leg and foot!!! As sand and dust scattered everywhere, Mechius grabs the dislegged Mortis... GAME OVER!! Then Mechius pins Mortis, hooking his remaining leg and putting all his weight on his shoulders!!
Styles: My God, there's no way Mortis can kick out! There's the three!! Mechius retains the title!!
Winner and still EAW Hardcore Champion: Mechius
Mechius steps back... then grabs his Hardcore title belt AND Mortis' leg!
Styles: Wait! What the hell is Mechius doing with Mortis' leg?! He's leaving Mortis almost immobile!! And Booker T... my God, he still hasn't gotten up!! We'll be right back!!
***I LIKE CHEESE!***
Styles: We're back! Booker T has been taken to a local hospital and Mortis... well, he just exploded into a dust devil and left... without his leg! We'll keep you posted on both Mortis and Booker T as it develops!
The arena comes back into view as we see the Elite awaiting his opponent...
Styles: Well, whoever Elite's opponent is, he's certainly taking his free time...
Suddenly, "Bomb Show Medley" by Nexus Armada cues up... and the lights go out...!
Lawler: AHH! What th-?! Where's my wallet?!
Styles: You don't carry a wallet, Lawler... but what's going on?! I--
The lights suddenly come on, and the Elite's opponent is suddenly in the ring behind him!! He grabs him--
Styles: REVERSE DDT!!! Wait, someone's with him!! And he has a mic!!
???: Allow me to introduce myself!! I am Mr. Cool Colin Sullivan!!! And Elite? You are looking face to face with your destiny!! Say hello to Nuclear!!!
Styles: My God, that's his name?! Nuclear-- oh, Nuclear just threw a spin kick at Elite just as he got up!! This match is underway, ladies and gentlemen!!
EAW Qualifying Match for the Television Title
Nuclear Vs. The Elite
Styles: Tie-up, Elite with a swift kick in the gut! He's not going to let this newcomer stop him short! DDT attempt-- NO! Northern Lights Suplex!! O- no, not even a one count! Elite's going to have a hard time, given that he hasn't prepared fighting this man!
King: You said it, Styles! No time to prepare at all!! I don't like Elite's chances!!
Styles: Here we go... collar-elbow tie-up; Elite sends Nuclear to the ropes, Nuclear ducks, off the ropes, Elite with a leapfr- NO! Nuclear caught and POWERSLAMMED HIM!!! What strength!!
King: I'm telling you, Styles, this isn't fair!! No time to prepare at all!! Elite's chances are slim to none!!
Styles: You may be right... Nuclear picks Elite up... WAIT, FISHERMAN'S DDT!! Elite just struck!! And the pin! One, two, NO! Nuclear got a shoulder up! Elite looks like... yes, he setting Nuclear up for the Elimination!! And-- WAIT!! COUNTER INTO THE CRUCIFIX PIN!!! ONE, TWO, THR-NO!! SO, SO CLOSE!! We nearly had an upset, King!
King: Man, did we!! Elite's minutes are numbered!!
Styles: Nuclear swerves around Elite, and ANOTHER REVERSE DDT!! I hear from the back that he calls it the Bomb Drop! Now he's going up the top rope... OH MY GOD, A BACK FLIP 540 SPLASH!! AMAZING!!! And the cover! One, two, NO!! NO NO NO!! ELITE GOT A SHOULDER UP!!
King: How is he doing this?! Elite won't stay down!!
Styles: Nuclear grabs Elite's legs... AH, IT'S THE KUMO NO ANIMONO!! THE ELEVATED CRAB! HE CALLS IT THE GROUND ZERO!!
King: Ahhh!! Oh, man! How humiliationg would it be to have to tap out in the finishing move of the girl you love!! Wait! Wait, Elite's at the ropes!! Oh, thank God!
Styles: Nuclear releases the hold and goes to pick Elite up-- OH, BUT A LOW BLOW RUINS NUCLEAR'S DAY JUST LIKE THAT!! Elite picks him up, and THERE'S THE ELIMINATION!! One, two, three!! It's over, Elite advances!!
Winner: Elite
Styles: Elite steals this one from this rookie, but still you have got to hand it to Nuclear! What a showing!! This man is going to go places, despite this loss!
King: I'll give it to you there, Styles! Nuclear had Elite on the ropes until he fell pray to that Greco-Roman Groin Hit!
Styles: ...
Lawler: ... What?
***Lilith Says: Try a 69. You'll like it! ~.^***
We return to the ring as the "Forgot About Dre" instrumental begins to play. The fans boo as the team of the Elite and Cyrus appear at the entry way, then walk down to the ring.
Styles: This was the match that Lilith didn't want Triple H to be in, King... we'll see if her fears are founded... he and Damian are up next!
"The Way I Am" hits as HHH appears at the entry way... then "No Chance In Hell (Corporate Ministry Remix)" starts to play after, Damien Kintabor appears on the entry way. Damien and HHH walk down to the ring.
Styles: Whoa, 4 heels in one tag match!
Lawler: Now this is my kind of tag match, Styles! You won't know WHAT'LL happen in a match like this! It'll be great!! But I wish Lilith were here!
The Elite & Cyrus Vs. Triple H & Damian Kintobor
Styles: Damien and Cyrus will be starting off this one... they circle the ring... collar-elbow tie-up! Quick snap suplex by Cyrus, but Damien gets right back up and locks up with Cyrus again. Damien whips Cyrus to the corner with Triple H, and tags him in! HHH and Damien with the double team on Cyrus!
Lawler: Hey, that's sound stategy by this team! Ohhh, I miss having that adorable little she-devil around!
Styles: Easy does it, King... Triple H and Cyrus do battle in the middle of the ring... Double Leg Takedown by Cyrus! And now the Boston Crab on Triple H! And Damien runs in and breaks up the hold! Referee Randy Anderson goes and forces Damien back to his corner and just look at this!! He allows Elite and Cyrus to double team Triple H! Cyrus tags in Elite!
Lawler: Oh, here we go!!
Styles: Elite whips Triple H to the ropes-- back drop! Elite stomps away on the Decadant, now! Elite with a pick up on HHH to his feet... Fisherman's Buster! Triple H slowly crawls to Damien, but Elite catches him in time and drags him back to his corner! The beating continues... Elite with a DDT to Triple H!! Elite taunts... wait, Hunter kicks Elite's legs from under him!! And both men are down!!
Lawler: WOW!! Man, this is one heck of a match!! But where's Lilith?!
Styles: Will you quit it with Lilith? Hunter crawls toward Damien... he needs to make a tag! Wait, Elite tags back in Cyrus-- Hunter with the tag!!!
Lawler: I miss Lilith! This isn't the same without Lilith!
Styles: Is that all you think about? *sigh* ANYhow, Damien and Cyrus take it outside and out goes Triple H as well. Elite goes to the action! We got all four competitors outside the ring!! And Randy Anderson is making the 10 count! Damien and Elite are fighting on the ramp... my God, Triple H and Cyrus are near the announce tables...!
Lawler: This is getting too close, Styles! We may have to move here...!!
Styles: And the ref is still counting... OMI... GOD, TRIPLE H LOW BLOWS CYRUS!! And hits a knee to the face. Triple H brings Cyrus to the Spanish announce table... Oh my God!!!
Lawler: AHH!! Triple H just did the Pedigree to Cyrus onto the Spanish announce table!!
Pee-Wee: 5... 6... 7... 8...
Styles: And Elite and Damien continue to fight on the ramp... snd the Elimination on Damien by Elite! They better get back into the ring... but it may be too late...! No, Triple H slides into the ring! Cyrus is about to--NO WAIT!! Crucifix ust came out of the crowd-- OMIGOD, A FLYING SPEAR RIGHT INTO CYRUS' GUT!!
Pee-Wee: 9... 10! Ring the bell!
Winner: Triple H & Damian Kintobor by Count-Out Styles: What a slugfest!! Elite is angry, as well as Cyrus! Crucifix has just left through the crowd; what the hell is HIS angle?! Wait, Triple H is attacking Elite!!
King: Well, I'll tell ya, Styles! Nothing's settled here tonight!!
The camera shifts to President Jay and Trinity as they are seen walking to the entry way. Then we shift to Kidd Foxx, he looks ready for this match-up! But then the camera shifts to the Elite.
Styles: Hey, what's the Elite still doing here... he's already had two matches! He's seems to be set to watching the main event... he might be planning something!
Lawler: Yeah, maybe to hook up with Trinity and get a piece of...
Styles: Jerry! Fans, we'll be back right after this commercial break for our main event, President Jay w/ Trinity Vs. Kidd Foxx!
***EAW Road report, EAW Retaliation has been pushed back to July 26th! Other event's are announced.***
Styles: Hello and welcome back to Tuesday Night Mayhem! It's time for our main event, here is Michael Buffer!
Lawler: Let's get ready to suck..
Styles: Jerry!
Michael Buffer: Fans, are you ready?
Crowd: YEEAAHHH!
Michael Buffer: I said, are you ready?
Crowd *louder* YEEAAAHHHH!!
Michael Buffer: Well for the thousands in attendance, the millions watching at home....Llllleeeettt's get rrreadyyy to RRUUUUMMMBLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
As the crowd cheers, KoRn's "Falling Away From Me" cues up...
Michael Buffer: Introducing first, at 6'7", 250 pounds, being accompanied to the ring by his wife, Trinity, he is the master of the Diamond Dust, and he is the president of Extreme Attitude Wrestling, President Jay Gonzales!
President Jay and Trinity appear on the entry way as the crowd boo's. Jay looks to be very focused for his match. Jay and Trinity walk down to the ring with a shower of boo's. Then Kid Rock's "Bawitdaba" fades in...
Michael Buffer: And his opponent, at 6'4", 220 pounds, he is the master of the Kidd-Factor, Kidd Foxx!"
The crowd cheers loudly...
"My name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid... KID ROCK!!"
Kidd Foxx appear's on the entry way as the crowd cheers.It looks like Foxx has the fans on his side in this match-up. Kidd Foxx walks down to the ring.
Michael Buffer: Referring this match will be none other than, Earl Hebner!
Michael Buffer leaves as the bell rings and the match is underway.
Lawler: Whew... I thought that windbag would never leave!
President Jay Vs. Kid Foxx
Styles: Jay and Foxx lock-up in the middle of the ring. Foxx with a headlock, first offensive move of the match! Wait, Jay reverses the move with a back-drop! Great reversal! And now with a Dragon Sleeper while he's down. Hebner break's up the hold -- Foxx with a running lariat, right when Jay turned around!!
Lawler: That's gotta hurt, Styles! Even if you ARE the man who signs your checks!!
Styles: Jay manages to get back to his feet... Jay and Foxx grapple and Foxx pulls off a Snap suplex on Jay! Foxx picks Jay up to his feet-- Oh, Jay hits a low blow and then DDT's Foxx to the canvas! My God!!
Lawler: Yeah, take that, Foxx!! That'll teach ya to mess with the President!
Styles: And now Jay got Foxx into the Sharpshooter! Jay holds the move in for about 10... 15 seconds-- Hebner breaks it up again.
Lawler: C'mon Earl, stop breaking up the holds! Where's Ayane when we need her?!
Styles: Easy, Jerry... Jay picks up Foxx, wait, Foxx is fighting back... Foxx whips Jay to the ropes, and a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker! Foxx pick's Jay up-- Reverse DDT! Foxx is definetly starting to get the advantage here...
The crowd chants out "LET'S GO KID FOXX!" *clapclapclapclapclap* "LET'S GO KID FOXX!" *clapclapclapclapclap*
Styles: Yes sir, this crowd is definately in favor of Kidd Foxx!
Lawler: Wish they'd shut up, President Jay's trying to concentrate!
Styles: Foxx hits a German Suplex, AND THE PIN! 1... 2... NO, Jay kicks out!! Two count for Foxx! And Jay's getting tired!
Lawler: Don't give up, Jay! Think about your two best friends! And the wife who's attached to them!!
Styles: Will you stop? Jay slowly gets to his feet, sees Foxx in time, ducks another running lariat-- SLEEPER HOLD ON KID FOXX!!! He holds it... but Foxx refuses to give up!! Jay lets go of the move... Jay goes to the top-rope, he goes for a Double Axe Handle-- BUT FOXX MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!! Jay turns around-- OMIGOD, A BOOT RIGHT INTO JAY'S FACE!!!!
Lawler: AHH!! Get up, Jay, get up!!
Styles: Jay gets back up all right, but is clotheslined right back down again. Jay looks out of it... Foxx gets him into a sleeper hold... wait... KIDD-FACTOR!!! IT'S OVER!!
Lawler: Oohh, poor Trinity! She looks worried!
Styles: Foxx is making a big mistake by not going for the pinfall-- wait, who is that coming down the ramp? That-that's the Elite!! And Trinity is distracting Hebner... My God, Elite just knocked Foxx off the top rope!! He jumps into the ring, grabs Foxx-- ELIMINATION!!! And listen to these fans!! They're hating this!!
Lawler: Oh, what do they know? This is great!! WOO-HOO!!
Styles: What's Elite doing now?! My God, he just threw in a table! He's going up the ramp... oh, now Jay just saw it... he gets Foxx hooked up--
Lawler: --!! AHH!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!! DRAGON SUPLEX RIGHT ON THE TABLE!!! MY GOD!!! Now Jay clears the ring of all those pieces of table... And Earl Hebner didn't see a damn thing!! Jay with the pin!! No, not like this!! 1... 2... three, dammit! Jay steals one with the help of the Elite!!
Winner: President Jay
Styles: Well, regardless of the means, Jay has defeated Kidd Foxx. But the main story is, why did the Elite help Jay? What is their alignment? We don't know! We may get answers at Riot Rulz! For Jerry "The King" Lawler, I'm Joey Styles! And we'll see you at Riot Rulz! Jay and Trinity leave the ring as "Make Me Bad" plays over the PA and the fans boo... fade to black.
***YA GOTTA LOVE NEW EAW ACTION FIGURES! THEY GOT REAL WRESTLING ACTION!!***