Before the opening credits, footage summing up the events of last Mayhem where the announce team of Jerry Lawler and Joey Styles is shown.
-=EAW Tuesday Night Mayhem intro=-
After the intro, some signs are shown...
"RTC Sucks," "Marry ME, Oseiko!," "SUXFL," "Sonnette is Hardcore to the XXXTREME!!!," and "ANUBIS!!! ANUBIS!!! PARTY ON!!! EXCELLENT!!!"
We then cut to a shot of Good Ol' JR himself, Jim Ross, along with Lord Gokuo, EAW booker.
JR: Welcome everyone for what looks to be an electric night on this week's EAW Mayhem!! I'm Jim Ross, filling in tonight for Joey Styles. As many of you may know, the EAW and WWF have had working agreements in the past...
LG: It doesn't hurt that we aren't in direct competition, either...
JR: Yes...at any rate, I'm here to provide commentary for tonight's show, and I'm happy to be here.
LG: Hmmm...did you just get back from a dentist appointment.
JR: No...
LG: Aww...thought that was Novacaine or something...
JR: Please avoid the jokes about the face, please...
LG: Pfft...it sucked anyway. I'm not in a humorous mood tonight.
JR: *shrug*
"Reclaim My Peace" by Korn cues up, bringing out a now clean-and-sober Dax Clark, who has brought a case of Bud with him.
JR: I've read up on this man...an impressive young athelete who's unfortunately had to put his EAW career on hold as of late to battle personal demons, but he looks bright-eyed, bushy tailed and stone sober for this Hardcore Match.
LG: EXTREME match, JR.
JR: Oops...sorry.
LG: Dax has talent, but he needs to get his priorities in order. If you want to wrestle, then wrestle. If you want to drink--drink. But if you want to wrestle, don't drink. Expecially if your opponent offers you a cup of "Mellow Yellow." A can, maybe. A cup? No.
JR: Ewww....that's disgusting.
LG: Aw, don't play innocent, JR. You know the boys play much sicker tricks than that.
"Ramblin' Man" by the Allman Brothers' Band cues up next, and Lynard Allman walks out, waving the confederate flag.
LG: HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Er...oops. Wrong flag-waving retard.
JR: That's no way to talk about a fine athelete like Lynard Allman. Allman's a proud Southerner...and he's about to meet Dax in his first hardcor--Extreme Match here in EAW.
Allman gets in the ring after setting his flag to the side, then the bell rings...
JR: Clark charges Allman...right hands....whips him...Allman ducks the clothesline, Side Kick from Allman...ducked...Clark with a backdrop! Allman now going for that case of Bud...possibly a symbolic way of showing us he's given up on the bottle...and he HITS LYNARD WITH A 12 OUNCER!!! Right in the forehead!!! Now he gets on top of Allman....piston-like right hands...pulls him up now....suplex takes him over. Clark now sits on the top turnbuckle. Diving elbow...missed!! Allman rolls back up to his feet! Snapmares Clark over!! Now a nerve hold applied...Allman's a very powerful man, and is undoubted pressing all 250+ pounds into that nerve hold...Clark is fighting back up to his feet...reverses into an armwringer. Arm drag from Clark! Clark scoops him up....shoulderbreaker!! Clark with a few kicks to the back...now driving a knee into the vertebrae of Allman, and wrenching back by grabbing the arms. Allman now fighting back up to a vertical base...breaks free!! Clark with an Atomic Drop...blocked..ALLMAN GRABS CLARK BY THE THROAT!!! HE HOISTS HIM UP...takes a few steps toward..WHAT POWER!! He s gonna...MY GOD!! CHOKESLAM ONTO THAT CASE OF BUD!!! CHOKESLAM ONTO THAT CASE OF BUD!!! CHOKESLAM ONTO THAT CASE OF BUD!!!
ONE
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TWO
NO!!! Clark kicked out somehow!!
LG: Great...now he smells of beer. I wonder if the smell of beer is to alcoholics like the smell of cigarette smoke is to smokers?
JR: Clark rolled to the outside by Allman. Allman hoists up Clark...looking maybe to slam his back to the ringpost...REVERSED!! Clark with the DDT!!! Clark throws up the apron, and is reaching under the ring....and pulls out...a 2x4!! With...an oily rag attached to it? Is Dax trying to win Cactus Jack's favor?
Dax pulls a lighter from his tights, then lights up the rag.
LG: Does that answer your question, JR?
JR: I guess so....Dax now, moving towards Allman with that flaming 2x4...down across of the back of Allman!!! Allman crawling back up now....that 2x4 right between the eyes!! Another shot...ducked by Allman...Allman slams Clark's head to the apron....Clark down now. Allman now slams that 2x4 across his back...AND IT REACTS WITH THE ALCOHOL!!! CLARK'S BACK IS ON FIRE!!!!!
LG: Allman to the rescue!!!
Allman blasts Clark with the fire extinguisher.
JR: Lynard Allman uses the fire extinguisher!! And we can barely see what's going on!! Cover by Allman...One
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Kickout!
LG: Things aren't looking good for Clark. I think he was wrestling better when he was drinking.
JR: Allman pulls Clark back up...rolls him into the ring. Now Allman shoving a steel chair into the ring...Clark gets back up...HEADBUTT to the midsection! Stalls Allman on the apron. Clark cinches up Allman now for a suplex...SUPLEXED INTO THE RING!! Floatover by Clark...
One
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TWO
Allman gets the shoulder up!
Clark pulling up Allman...setting him up....WILD BOMB!!! Pinning combination!!
One
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TWO!!!!!
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SO CLOSE!!!!
LG: Clark grabbing the chair now.....Allman ducks the chairshot, boot to the midsection....suplexed onto the chair!!!
JR: Allman now setting up Clark on the ropes....grabs the chair....the windup...the pitch and IT'S OUTTA THERE!!! CLARK A SPILL TO THE OUTSIDE WITH A SICKENING THUD!!! HOW HEINOUS!!!
LG: Now...oh no...he isn't...
JR: Allman getting ready for a plancha....over the top!!! COUNTER!!! ACE CRUSHER!! ACE CRUSHER!!! ACE CRUSHER!!! ONE
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TWO
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THREE!!!
"Reclaim My Peace" by Korn cues up...
"The winner of this match up, by pinfall....'The Wild One' DAX...CLARK!!!"
JR: An impressive win for this youngster!!!
LG: And the South loses again!!
JR: Don't go anywhere, folks! Coming up next, our TV Title match!
Cut to a taped promo....
"The following announcement...has been paid for by the blue World order..."
Cut to a shot of Nova in full "Hollywood Nova" gear, flexing and posing for the non-existant onlookers.
"Helllllllo...bWo-ites! Hollywood has decided to interrupt the show a bit for a very special announcment. It seems that the man who narrowly beat me about a week or so ago for the Cruiserweight Title, Kid Suicide, is now injured. Brother...you were one hell of an opponent in the ring that night. You stepped up to the plate, and hit a hell of a swing, but it looks like you've ended up out before you even touched first. That's a shame, brother, because now you can't defend the belt, and won't be able to for a while. That's why Hollywood is here to make an offer. It's simple...since you won't be able to face me on RR, then I'd like a shot on Mayhem, one week from now. Until you return, rest up, exercise as best you can...and enjoy some fine, quality family entertainment...*smile*"
"The preceding announcement...has been paid for by the blue World order."
-=Commercials: Budweiser, PS2, etc..=-
As we come back from break, "My Generation" cues up, and Blink comes out dancing to her entrance theme as she recieves an impressive reaction from the crowd.
JR: Blink, the young female mutant sensation, is here tonight to challenge for the Television Title!!
LG: And not everyone is happy about it...
JR: Right you are..Earl, a local yokel, had a confrontation with Blink at a local restaurant...
LG: He isn't fond of the idea of a mutant having a shot at holding a major title here in EAW.
The lights and the stage is absorbed in a soft green glow as "There's a Fire in the House" by Steve Vai cues up. The green fades into a blinking yellow, then a strobe red...
KABOOM!!!
As the beat gets more hyper and the smoke clears, the TV Champ stands on the apron, his legs stretched slightly apart, and he signals for the crowd to cheer louder.
JR: And the defending Television Champion is out here now! "Code Red" Michael Anthony Connelly...current TV Champ...former 2 time People's Champion. Also, recently engaged to Black Widow.
LG: Lucky doesn't even begin to describe this guy...but he'll be making the first defense tonight on behalf of himself and Armistice.
Code Red jogs down the ramp, and slides into the ring, handing the referee the belt before running up to one corner, posing at the top, them moonsaulting off and landing on both feet.
*ding, ding*
JR: Code Red and Blink now locking up in the center of the ring. Blink takes him over with an arm drag, but a waterwheel drop by Connelly evens it up. Rear chin lock applied...Blink stands up....elbow to the midsection...another...Blink hits the ropes...goes for a headscissors....reversed into a Side Salto!!! Cover...quick kick out! Michael Action...er, excuse me...Michael Connelly now going for a Cobra Clutch as he pulls Blink back up. Drops down with an atomic drop variation!! Now Code Red getting fired up...whips Blink to the ropes...SPINNING HEEL KiCK!! Blink takes down Code Red!!
LG: Wait..what the hell...?
JR: Blink setting up Code Red now for the Dream Driver!! But what's this?!! EARL!??!?! He's jumped the railing...he's on the apron...KNIFE IN THE BACK!!! MY GOD!!! HE's STABBED BLINK!!! She drops Connelly! Code Red back up...the referee has thrown this match out!!
LG: Code Red is turning to Earl...
JR: HE SPEARS EARL THROUGH THE ROPES!!! TO THE FLOOR!!! Security now heading over to get Earl the hell out of here!!!
LG: At last...our crack security staff.
As Earl is being dragged away, the mics in the camera pic up, "I'm surprised you bleed red, you filty f***ing mutie!! Let me go you assholes!! I'm did that for all humans!"
JR: Blink's going to need serious medical attention...he may have punctured one of Blink's kidneys...
LG: We're sorry...but we need to go to break, folks.
-=Commercials...evil commercials...=-
As we come back from break, we go to the announcer's desk were Ross and Gokuo are wearing grave expressions.
JR: Ladies and gentlemen, before we went to break we were in the middle of a TV Title match between Code Red and Blink, when member of the audience jumped the railing and assaulted Blink with a knife. As a result, the match has been thrown out, the perpetrator arrested, and Blink is seriously injured.
LG: But the show must go on..
"Crushed" by Limp Bizkit cues up, bringing out the cute-but-downright -insane young Red "Rock" West out, who clutches her constant companion Gajetto-chan tightly.
JR: Steven Richards is her opponent for tonight. Yes..the very same one who interfered in her match at Razor's Edge and tried to oust Lilith from the EAW.
Red gets in the ring, waiting for Steven Richards...
LG: The rules for this match tonight will be a normal rules matchup, but West challenged Richards to a...get this...Extreme Match *chuckle*.
The RTC theme...well, the RTC annoying seizure-inducing, droning noise, cues up. Richards steps out with a smug smile on his face as he stares down the ramp at West, who's waiting for him. Ivory follows Richards out, and the crowd begins to boo Richards intensely as he walks down the ramp.
JR: However, will that candyass Richards accept a match like that?
LG: I think he just may, but if he does, we're sure to see interference in that match...from both sides. Ivory may help out Richards, but nearly every wrestler in the back would like to help out Red in that case...
JR: West starts going after Richards with knees to the midsection...she whips him to the ropes...DROPKICK!! Richards back up...elbows to Red, scoop slam. Richards now with a half crab on Red, but she's very flexible, so Richards is going to have to crank back on that for her to feel it...and he's trying to....Red wriggling free from his grasp. Richards charges in..drop toe hold from Red. Standing Moonsault from Red onto Richards' back!! She flips him over for the cover....kickout at one.
LG: Red now backing off to the ropes...Steven on his back back up...Red rushes in...DDT--NO COUNTERED INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!! One
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KICKOUT!!!
JR: Richards now whips Red....reversed...Richards hits the ropes..slams Red face first to the canvas!! Cover now...One
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TW--kick out again!
JR: Richards pulls Red back up, scoops her up for a shoulderbreaker....REVERSAL by Red!! FIRE CRACKER!! FIRE CRACKER!! FIRE CRACKER!! Cover
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One
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TWO
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narrow kick out by Richards!!
The crowd begins to chant "WHERE'S MY SNO-CONE?!....WHERE'S MY SNO-CONE?!"
JR: West now pulls up Richards...a chop to the chest of the white-sock-wearing nerd....another...
"WHOOOOOO!!!" the crowd erupts.
JR: West turns him inside out with that incredible spinning neckbreaker!! Red now twists Richard's arm into a wristlock....climbing the turnbuckle....walking the top rope with amazing agility...IVORY SHAKES THE ROPE!!! Red falls off balance!! She gets split on the top rope and lands in the ring! Richards now with a chance to take advantage...pulls her up by the hair....GERMAN SUPLEX!!! With a bridge!! One
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TWO
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--KICK OUT!!! SOMEONE RED "ROCK" WEST summoned the STRENGTH TO KICK OUT!!! Richards heads to the corner though..
Richards stomps his foot...
JR: Uh-oh...it could be that Superkick of his...what else could it be? Red back up...Richards goes for it...RED HITS THE MAT!!! RICHARDS HITS THE REFEREE right in the jaw!!!
LG: Uh-oh....West up...KICK TO THE GROIN OF RICHARDS!!! Jumping DDT!!!! But there is no ref to make the count...
A replacement referee runs down the ramp and slides into the ring...
JR: A replacement ref....One
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TWO
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.--KICKOUT by RICHARDS!!!
JR: Damnit!! If Richards hadn't kicked the first ref, Red "Rock" West would have had this match. Richards is still dazed and about out of gas...Red with a chokehold!! Going to the top...YES...Long Hard Road Out of Hell!!!! Cover
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One
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TWO
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THREE!!!!
"Crushed" by Limp Bizkit begins to play...
"The winner of this matchup...by pinfall...Red..."Rock"...WEST!!!
LG: She did it?!!?
JR: She did!!! West beat the RTC!!
Red ignores the final bell, and climbs up to the top rope again...
JR: It looks like she isn't quite happy yet, though...CHERRY BOMB!! CHERRY BOMB!! CHERRY BOMB!!! West fulfills her promise to Richards!!
Red then climbs atop the ajoining turnbuckle...and signals for the Cherry Bomb again...
*ding, ding, ding, ding, ding*JR: She's gonna..yes...DO IT, RED!!! DO IT!!! Ivory's in the ring...pleading for Red to stop!! CHERRY BOMB!!! CHERRY BOMB!!! CHERRY BOMB!!!
Ladies and gentlemen...at a result of the post-match attack, the referee has reversed his decision...
JR: NO!!! DAMNIT!!!
"The winner of this match, by disqualification....STEVEN RICHARDS!!!"The crowd begins to boo the decision, and some of the closer fans throw trash at the referee.
LG: So...just like that...Red lost?
JR: I'm afraid so...we're going to take a commercial break. When we get back, Lyger vs. Walker!! Don't miss it...
-=Commercials...=-
When we come back from break...we cut to the announcer's desk...
JR: Coming up next, we've got a hell of a match in store when the European Champion takes on the People's Champion--
But JR is cut up as "My Generation" cues up and out comes Blink, her bikini top and see-thru shirt off with her chest and back bandaged up, though she's still got on her vest.
JR: What the hell?!?! What's Blink doing back out here?
LG: Apparently she's really stubborn or just plain stupid....she should stay back there and rest....
When Blink gets down to the ring, she gets a mic and she says. "Code Red!! Yo, Mike!! I'm not about to let some bigoted flatscan idiot stop me from finishing this match!! So let's get this over with!!" She throws the mic down...
A minute or so later, Michael, wearing a sweater, boots, and jeans...steps out onto the ramp.
"B-Blink?! Are you okay?"
Blink, standing in the ring, simply nods, bites her lip, and waits...
Michael sighs, "I don't know if I should do this....but...since you are so determined, and we both wanted to have this match, then I'll come down there and finish this match..."
The crowd pops..
Michael runs down the ramp...sliding in, then asking the ref to restart the match.
JR: This is incredible!! Blink was stabbed earlier and she's back...to finish the very same match?!
LG: She's bandaged up...probably needed a shot, but I suppose the injury wasn't quite as severe as we thought...
*ding, ding*
JR: Either that, or she's completely insane...as it is I question just how much of her is all there...Code Red with a suplex, takes over Blink. Blink up....whips Connelly to the corner...charges in...Code Red slings over...German Suplex attempt by Connelly--standing switch by Blink. COBRA CLUTCH!!! Blink locks on a Cobra Clutch! Code Red grabs the top rope!!! Blink is forced to release the hold! She spins him around now...Snap suplex!! Pulls him up...scoops him up for another Dreamer Driver....Code Red slips behind!! REVERSE DDT!!! Connelly rolls to the outside! Now climbs up to the apron....slingshot somersault legdrop!! Cover
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One
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.
Blink gets her shoulder up....
LG: Keep working on her...and exploit that wound!!
JR: I don't think he's likely to do that latter, but the former undoubtedly. Now a scoop slam. He pulls her up and backs her to the corner...chop to the chest...another...another...climbs up now....going for a suplex....REVERSED INTO A FRONT SUPERPLEX!!! Blink crawls across the mat to try to make a cover...
One
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TWO--Kickout!
Both of them back up....Blink with a chin crusher on Code Red....hits the ropes...goes for the clothesline...FUJIWARA ARM BAR from Michael Douglas--er, excuse me...I mean Connelly.
LG: Heh...wrong cradlerobber.
JR: Speaking of which...there's a Mahistrol Crade...One
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TWO
Kickout again! The momentum keeps switching in this matchup. Connelly and Blink are both up....Blink with a right hand...blocked by Connelly...he fires back...she blocks...whips Code Red...reversal..Blink hits the ropes...sunset flips Connelly...
One
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TWO
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KICKOUT!!!
Both Blink and Connelly back up....Blink with a leg clothesline, knocks Code Red off balance. A crescent kick!! Roundhouse!! Spinning Back Kick!! Quick cover!!
One
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TWO
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KICKOUT!!!
LG: Somewhere in a hospital bed, the King is sitting up...watching this...hoping for a peek of Blink's panties...
JR: That sounds like him...Blink pulls up Connelly...CODE RED LOCKS BOTH HER ARMS!!! FRONT TIGER SUPLEX!!! AMAZING MOVE!!
LG: Yeah...but I don't know if they quickly stitched that wound open or what, but it seemed that suplex reopened it--blood is seeping through Blink's dressing..
JR: My gosh, you're right. I don't think Connelly's aware of it...and he goes to the apron...Blink back up...favoring the wound on her back...CONNELLY COMET!!! That springboard spear just knocked the air out of Blink!!
One
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TWO!!
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KICKOUT!!! BLINK SOMEHOW managed to save herself!! Connelly pulls her back up....whips her to the ropes....double leg takedown from Blink!! She hits the ropes again..diving splash--NO, counter into a monkey flip from Connelly!! Connelly goes after Blink...Armdraged over!! He gets back up....he seems to just now be seeing the reopened wound. Blood's now starting to drip from it...Connelly stopped attacking...the referee may stop the match...Code Red now offering her his hand, but Blink seems to be out of it....she's reaching for him now...INSIDE CRADLE!!! One
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TWO
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THREE!!!!
*ding, ding*
"My Generation" begins to play...
JR: MY GOD!!! Blink's won this match!!! And I think she's just passed out!!!
LG: Maybe so...but she's the new champion!! Connelly looks ready to kick himself...
"The winner of this matchup by pinfall...and NEEEEEEEEEW...EAW Television Champion--BLINK!!!"
JR: When we come back, Kairi Lyger and Derek Walker will meet in our main event!!
-=Commercials=-
As we come back from break, "Black" by Sevendust is playing as Kairi Lyger walks down the ramp towards the ring, the European Title around his waist.
JR: Here comes the EAW European Champion, but remember that this match is not a European Title match.
LG: True...this is champion vs. champion, but neither of them are putting up their titles tonight. Just the European Champion pitted against the People's Champion.
JR: Lyger has been European Champion longer than anyone, I believe. And with good reason...he's one of the most talented wrestlers in EAW, which is quite a task in and of itself.
Lyger gets in the ring, and begins some last minute warm-ups for his match.
"Travel Theme (To Crystalis)" cues up next, signaling the entrance of the other champion in this match, Derek Walker.
LG: The EAW People's Champion is quite a sight to see...shi's a proud champion, though, just like Lyger.
LG: Both of them are very quick and use a lot of technical skill in their matches...Walker here has the obvious speed advantage though.
JR: Walker now in the ring...this match is nearly underway..
*ding, ding*
JR: Lyger charges Walker...spin kick ducked. Walker grabs the leg. Dragon Screw!! Walker grabs the ankle and yanks up Lyger...perhaps going for another..YES!!!! Walker holds on, perhaps going for a third--Enzui Giri by Lyger!! Walker went to the well once too often with that one. Lyger yanks up Walker and fires hir into the ropes....catches her on the way back...BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!! Quick cover!!...Kickout just before the one. Lyger now pulling up Walker, whips hir to the ropes...boot to the midsection on the return...setting hir up for the Lygerbomb...NO..Walker slips behind...BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!!! Lyger trying to get back up....Walker from behind...BULLDOG'S LYGER!!!
LG: Walker should try to keep Lyger down, keep him confused, and hit and run hir way through the rest of this match.
JR: Derek opts not to go for a cover, and instead is pulling up Lyger again. Snap suplex coming up...blocked by Lyger....another one blocked...Lyger snap suplexes Walker!! Cover from Lyger
One
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Kickout!!
Walker and Lyger back up now....Walker goes for a headscissors takedown...LYGER COUNTERS INTO A SAMOAN DROP!!! Lyger back up quickly now...whips Derek to the corner. Charges in...Derek slings over--LYGER HITS THE RINGPOST!! Walker now, sits up Lyger on the top rope. HANGMAN's NECK BREAKER on Lyger!! A VICIOUS move!
LG: Derek now grabbing both ankles...pushes down Lyger onto his shoulders...
One
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T--kickout!!
JR: Walker had Lyger in a great pinning predicament, but he's still too strong. Walker pulls up Lyger...sharp elbow to the gut of Walker!!! Lyger now with the Dragonbomb!! Lyger now heading up top...back elbowdrop to the sternum of Derek!! Cover
One
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TWO
Walker kicks out!! Lyger whips hir to the roeps again....telegraphs the backbody drop. Walker...duck and uppercuts Lyger--shades of Goldust. Walker with a stiff jab to the jaw of Lyger....now....the rapid punches!! Walker's fists are hitting Lyger at about 10 jabs a second!! Hir arms are blurry pistons!!! Shi winds up...HAYMAKER SWING CONNECTS!!! Derek may have KO'ed Lyger!! Goes for a cover....
One
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TWO
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KICKOUT!!!
JR: This match could go either way, but this match isn't for a title, it's about pride...it's about who's the best between these two champions. Walker and Lyger both standing up....Walker looking to suplex Lyger again....LYGER WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM!!! Now he pulls up Walker...setting hir up. Looks like another of those patented Lygerbombs. Kairi Lyger is famous for more bombs than Kevin Costner, Chevy Chase, and Hulk Hogan combined!
LG: Well...I don't know about that Hogan one..
JR: There's the Lygerbomb!!! ONE!!!!
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TWO!!!
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KICKOUT KICKOUT KICKOUT!!!! How in THE HELL..did Walker kick out of that?!?
LG: Sheer willpower, JR. That or hir body replexes are trained in such a way to make her kick out even if shi isn't all there.
JR: Walker getting frustrated it appears...he pulls up Walker...whips her to the corner again. Now, following her in...climbing up top...it looks like--Lyger's going for a second rope Choke Lygerbomb!!! He hoists hir up--NO!!! OH MY GOD!!! WALKER IS TRYING TO SWALLOW LYGER'S HEAD!!! ENDLESS HUNGER!!! ENDLESS HUNGER!! ENDLESS HUNGER!!!
LG: Lyger has NO idea where he is at the moment. Himself or the ropes. Walker's backing him towards the center of the ring.
JR: Lyger's confused...and drops down to one knee....he's trying to fight it...and...taps!! Lyger's given up!!
*ding, ding*
"Travel Theme (To Crystalis)" begins to play again, as Walker spits out Lyger's head...
"The winner of this match...the EAW People's Champion....DEREK WALKER!!!"
JR: That's all the time we have for now, folks. I'm good ol' JR, and don't miss EAW Riot Rulz!!