Styles: Hello everyone and welcome to EAW Mayhem, specially titled for this edition, "Mechius' End!" And tonight we hope this will be the last time anyone will be threatened by the Cybernetic Psychopath! I'm Joey Styles, and joining us here in the EAW Commentating position for the first time is the one and only Rowdy Roddy Piper! Welcome to the EAW, Roddy!

Piper: Hey hey Joey!! It's great t'be here!! Let me tell ya, the EAW's gonna get a bit more rowdy now that I'm here, an' I ain't gonna be doin' no rap to get rowdy!! No sir!! Tonight though, ho ho, tonight! Let me tell ya, that Mechius! I've heard a lotta stuff about the Digimon reject here and tonight I hope he gets his!

Styles: Tonight is Mechius' last night in the EAW, folks! It is official! And... *pauses to reach for his headset* ... I got word that Megan Eko is with the Commisioner now! Let's go to her right now! Megan?

Scene switch to Megan Eko, standing side by side with EAW Commisioner Lynxara; the fans let off a huge pop for the feline superstar.

Megan: Thanks, Joey! With me is the EAW Commisioner Lynxara right now! Lynxara, in the Hate Match against Mechius, we still don't know who the mystery opponent is... rumors are flying, so can you confirm or deny any of them at this time?

Lynxara looks to Megan and smiles.

Lynx: Megan... all I can say is that my little surprise for Mechius is gonna be a big one... and that's not all... see, I got word that there's gonna be a couple of extras in this match.

Megan: ... Two more mystery opponents?!

Lynxara just smirks.

Lynx: Ohh, you'll see.

Megan: Yes... and apparently... well, when Mechius entered the arena... if you noticed he entered the arena and... well, he's been damaged. Apparently he's shifted back to his original programming! What are your thoughts about this?

Lynx: ... Look, I don't care if he's reverted to his original programming or not. He's still too damn dangerous! The match doesn't change. Mechius is gonna go down!

Back to the ring as the "music" of the RTC Theme cues up and out comes Steven Richards with Ivory at his side.

Styles: Well, you heard it here first! Our commisioner has stated that even though Mechius seems to have reverted to his original programming the Hate Match will still go on!

Piper: I tell ya, Mechius's gotta be taken out tonight or else we're all history, Joey!

Thankfully Steven Richards spares the crowd from one of his speeches and climbs into the ring as "Twisted Metal" cues up, Out comes Booker T, raising the roof as he greets the fans.

Styles: And here comes Booker T! This match with him and Steven Richards should be a good one, Rowdy One!

Piper: Yeah, you got Booker T who is a pheonomenal athlete! The man's got the credentials! And then you got the White Urkel here, Steven Richards! Don't sell that guy out short though! He may dress like a total geek but he's still a good worker in the ring!

Booker T and Steven Richards stare at each other... then referee Tim White calls for the bell.

Styles: And here we go... Booker and Steven with the tie-up... arm drag from Booker T!! Richards charges in-- HIP TOSSED off the mat!! Steven goes for a leg trip--but Booker counters with an elbow drop to the back of his head! Cover! One! T-no, just a one count!

Piper: Still too early in the match to call it, Joey! These two men are hungry, but we'll just see who's hungrier!

Styles: Tie-up! Richards with a knee lift! Set-up-- SHOULDERBREAKER!! Follow-up, ELBOW DROP! And the cover! One! NO, Booker kicks out! Steven gets Booker up, whip to the ropes, clothesline ducked-- SPIN KICK by Booker T!! Booker picks up Steven... and... AXE KICK!! And watch Booker spinnup to his feet!!

Piper: I refuse to call it a "spin-a-rooni," Joey.

Styles: Booker's up to the top rope... looks like the Harlem Hangover... NO!! IVORY'S tripped Booker! She crotched him!

Piper: Damn you!! You librarian wannabe!! Go back and renew my books, they're due back tomorrow!!

Styles: Steven's back up... he takes advantage... and THERE'S the SUPERPLEX!! Cover, one, two-- NO!! Booker kicks out!

Piper: These RTC geeks... ya notice they ALWAYS have to cheat to win?! Least they didn't get the job done tonight!

Styles: The match is still going though... Steven looks like he's going to go for the Moralty Check... NO, Booker blocks! BOOK END! NO, COUNTERED! Sleeper hold by Richards!! But Booker manages to drive him down into the corner!!

"Twisted Heat" cues up again, and Booker T looks up to the stage, expecting his running buddies... but they don't show...

Styles: Wait!! Bret Hart is on the Jumbotron with Nash, Suicide, and Action layed out motionless... he laid them out!! I think he's heading to the ring! Booker T looks angered, but gets back to the action... looks like he's going to set up for Book End...!

All of a sudden, the Four Horseman Theme plays as Bret Hart strolls down to ringside.

Styles: What's going on here?! Ivory distracts the ref-- NO, BRET HART'S ATTACKING BOOKER T!! He hits a Hart Attack!! Then climbs the turnbuckle and hits a Diving Elbow!!! Ivory gets down, and Richards makes the cover, One, Two, Three! DAMMIT! RTC steals another thanks to Bret Hart!!

WINNER: Steven Richards

Bret Hart stops on the ramp, and looks to the beaten Booker T, smiling as he walks away.

Styles: What a travesty... well, up next...

Scene switch to Jyushin Lyger... standing proud with his arms crossed in full costume as he nods silently, then heads out of his dressing room.

Styles: Jyushin Lyger... a match for the ages as he goes up against...

Scene switch to Black Widow, doing some practice ninjitsu katas... clad in her white/black outfit minus the mask and a new "BOKU WA KAWAII DESHO?" black T-shirt over her costume.

Styles: ... Black Widow! My, both competitors look focused! Stay tuned! We'll be right back!!

***

[Commercial: The scene opens up on little Ariel Bridges, happily munching away on Oreos™ as she watches TV. Then a commercial comes on... the commercial where the mean businessman gets by a bus and is sent to where he thinks is Heaven, but after eating a huge cookie and finding no milk at all, he realizes where he is.

Commercial: Got Milk?™

Ariel: ... No... I don't...

Ariel looks at the Oreos™ in her hands... then at the TV screen... then promptly runs to the fridge to see if there's any milk. Her eyes light up as she grabs the carton of milk and raises it up triumphantly.

Ariel: I've got milk!!! YAAAAAYYYYY!!

Commercial: Want calcium? Three glasses a day can help make a strong, healthy cat-girl.

Cut back to a happy Ariel, drinking down a glass of milk, sporting a milk moustache as she smiles cutely.

Ariel: YUMMY!!

Commerical: Got Milk?™]

***

We go back to the ring; a fast paced Sentai-ish theme song with Japanese vocals cues up... Jyushin Lyger's New Japan Pro-Wrestling theme... as the masked legend appears on stage, looking to the crowd; half boo and half cheer him. He merely smirks as he walks down the aisle.

Styles: We're back! And Jyushin Lyger is making his way down to the ring right now! This is a match that a lot of the smarts and even the marks are looking forward to, Piper!

Piper: Yeah, this Jyushin Lyger, he may look like a Power Ranger, but he's still one hell of a worker! He can go in that ring, but then so can his opponent! People are calling this match "Flair/Sting Revisited!" This match could make Black Widow's very career and put her on the map as one of the top players in this sport!

Lyger's theme fades out... then the jazzy tunes of "It's Gonna Rain!" sung by Black Widow herself cues up... out comes Black Widow, playing to the crowd happily as the fans cheer for her.

Styles: And the fans seem to adore Black Widow! She's not only a wrestling superstar, Piper, but she's also a mega popular idol singer in Japan!

Piper: And cute as a button too, I might add! Too bad I'm a married old man, Joey, or else I'd make a play for her myself! Michael Connelly's a lucky man, I tell ya!

Styles: And Widow has the mic!

BW: HEY, EVERYBODY!!

Crowd: HEY!!

BW: I'M CUTE, AREN'T I?!!

Crowd: YES!!

BW: *giggle* SO DA!!

Styles: Well that was new... an English version of her crowd play! Black Widow never ceases to amaze me at how innovative she can be! Jyushin's ready... Widow's put the mic down and she's ready too... referee Ayane Mitsui has called for the bell... it's go time!

Styles: Lyger and Widow are encircling one another... sizing each other up... collar-elbow tie-up... and Lyger with a headlock! He's got it in tight... but Widow counters with a back drop! Kippup to her feet, but Lyger's back up as well... they circle the ring... tie-up-- no, Widow side-stepped, roundhouse ducked by Lyger! Lyger trips Widow, but she kippups-- OHH! SHOTEI! PALM STRIKE RIGHT INTO WIDOW'S JAW AS SHE SPRUNG BACK UP! Widow's dazed, but she rolls to one knee... Lyger's not following up... he's letting Widow get up... the tie-up again, and Lyger knees Widow in the gut... JAWBREAKER sends her down! He's following up now, locking Widow in... Mexican Surfboard Stretch! Ayane's seeing if Widow'll give up... she's shaking her head adamantly! She's not giving in, folks!

Piper: She's a fighter, that's for damn sure, Joey!! She's hangin' in there!!

Styles: Lyger keeps bearing down on Widow... wait, Widow's throwing back elbows at Lyger!! Trying to make him release the hold! And he does!! Widow rolls to her feet, Lyger gets up-- FRONT DROPKICK sends him back down! He gets up, ANOTHER FRONT DROPKICK! Lyger gets again, FRONT DRO--NO! Lyger ducks-- ROLLING WHEEL KICK INTO THE DESCENDING WIDOW!! That caught her right in the back!! Widow's down again!!

Piper: Lyger seems to be on his game here tonight, Joey! If Widow doesn't shape up this match is gonna end with her adding a loss to the records!

Styles: Widow's slow to get up... Lyger vaults up to the ropes... and it looks like-- YES, DESTINY HAMMER!! My God, Lyger's knee just smacked against Widow's head!! Cover! One! Two! But Widow kicks out!! Piper: There's still some fight left in Widow, Joey!

Styles: Absolutely! Lyger turns Widow over and it looks like he's going to reveal his Show of Authority-- NO, Widow blocks!! And counters it intoa sunset flip!! One! Two! Lyger kicks out! Widow manages to flip to her feet, Lyger charges in, Widow side-steps, backflips-- SPINNING HEEL KICK TURNS LYGER VIRTUALLY INSIDE-OUT!!! MY GOD!! We've said it before folks! Black Widow's legs are LETHAL!! Lyger's down... and Widow picks him up, shoots him to the corner, rushes in... AND THERE'S THE TARANTULA!! Yoshihiro Tajiri would be proud of how well Black Widow has this hold applied!! Ayane's issuing the five count... and Widow breaks the hold... she climbs the ring... THERE IT IS!! SHOOTING STAR PRESS-- NO!! Lyger rolls out of the way and Widow eats canvas! Lyger gets to the ropes-- SHOOTING STAR PRESS OF HIS OWN! IMPACT!! One! Two! Thr--NO! Widow gets a shoulder up!! Lyger picks the dazed Widow up... sets her up... Running Lygerbomb--NO!!! MY GOD, WIDOW COUNTERED IT INTO A KUMORANA!! One! Two! Thr--NO!! Lyger got out of it in time!!

Piper: This is... damn, this is awesome, Joey!! Lyger's the veteran in this ring but Widow's managing to counter some of his best moves! This is one hell of a match!

Styles: Widow signalling for the Kumo No Sasu! She's sizing up Lyger... and-- NO! Lyger blocks-- AND DRAGON LEG WHIPS WIDOW!! He still has a hold of Widow's leg... and applies an ankle lock! Smart move from Lyger, taking out Widow's strongest body parts! But--NO! Widow kicks him off with her free leg! Kippup--Oh, but Widow's down to one knee already... she might have pulled a hamstring! Lyger's taking advantage though... it looks like... here it comes, the Avalanche Brainbuster... NO!! MY GOD, WIDOW COUNTERED IT INTO A DDT!! ONE HELLACIOUS DDT!!!

Piper: Holy crap!

Styles: Cover! One! Two! Three! NO, TWO!! But damn, Widow was so so close to winning the match! Widow gets Lyger up... whip to the corner... Widow's going for a hurricarana-- NO!! LYGER COUNTERS TO A TOP ROPE LYGERBOMB!! One! Two! Three!! Lyger wins!! What a match we've seen here tonight!!

Piper: Yeah, you said it!! Both Widow and Lyger really put on a show here tonight! And even though Lyger won, I bet he's gotta be impressed with Widow's skill!

WINNER: Jyushin "Thunder" Lyger

Styles: Widow looks a little sore... but she manages to get up to her feet... Lyger's leaving... wait, Widow's stopped him... and she's bowing to him! What a sport Widow is! And Lyger nods back! Widow's beat, but it looks like she's still a winner with the way she's smiling! We'll be back with our main event!!

***"MR. SPARKLE!!!"***

Styles: We're back! And it's time for tonight's Hate Match! Before we begin, we should lay down the rules for this special match! The Hate Match is half Royal Rumble, and half Guantlet match... Mechius has to fight off and defeat all his opponents, who will come to the ring randomly at two minute intervals! If Mechius can defeat his opponents in pinfall or submission, he will leave the EAW intact! But given the no holds barred nature of the Hate Match and the hatred everyone feels for Mechius, that's very unlikely here tonight!

Piper: Let's hope it's unlikely, Joey! Mechius is a menace, pure and simple! Wrestling isn't about killin' each other! It's about beating the unholy crap outta each other! No real difference, let me tell ya, but hey, at least the guy you're beating the crap out of can get up, wash himself off and go home! I mean, c'mon here! This Mechius has killed people! There's no crying in baseball and there sure as hell no killing in pro-wrestling, kids!

Styles: Well put, Rowdy One! And now it's time to begin the Hate Match!

"Killing In The Name Of" cues up... and out comes Mechius... walking to the ring as he cocks his head, looking to the fans who boo him loudly. Mechius merely shakes his head as he steps over the top rope. Referee Ayane Mitsui takes a step back from Mechius as his music fades... and a countdown on the Jumbotron appears.

10!
9!
8!
7!
6!
5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

KRAK-KOOOMM!!!!

"Through The Fire" cues up after the huge explosion as a huge man clad in black with flame motif appears from the stage, mismatched eyes peering through a leather mask staring straight at Mechius.

Styles: OMIGOD!!! THAT'S KANE!!! KANE'S BACK!! KANE'S BACK!!

Piper: JR's not here, so I'll say it! Through fire and brimstone! It's Kane! And he looks pissed as hell!!

Styles: Kane steps over the top rope and starts raining punches on Mechius! Ayane calls for the bell and this match is underway!

Styles: Mechius is fighting back with punches of his own, but Kane's just shrugging them off!! Mechius kicks Kane in the gut--DDT! But Kane sits right back up!! That had no effect on the Big Red Machine at all!!

Piper: Yeah baby!!

Styles: Mechius kicks at Kane, but Kane grabs his leg and spins him around! He turns him back around-- looks like a chokeslam!! IT IS!! Cover! One! No, Mechius kicks out!! And the timer is counting down...

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"Bad Influence" cues up and Flyboy rushes down to the ring, sliding in and grabs Mechius from behind, delivering a diving reverse DDT!

Styles: It's the Flyboy!! This match is now two on one as Mechius is struggling to get up!

Styles: Flyboy pauses to get a look at Kane... he's shocked as all of us that he's back! But Mechius is battling back! Kick to the gut by Mechius on Flyboy and a DDT! Kane comes in to attack but Mechius grabs him-- NO, LOCK DOWN!! But Kane sits up!! Grabs Mechius by the neck-- OMIGOD!! MECHIUS JUST ELECTROCUTED KANE!!! Kane's out! Now he's focusing in Flyboy!! No, Flyboy manages to counter a hip toss into a URANAGE!! Cover! One! Mechius kicks out!! And the timer's counting down!

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"One Man Army" cues up, and Nova heads into the ring, vaulting over the ropes and attacking Mechius right off the bat!

Styles: Nova's in!! Three on one now! Mechius' chances of survival are looking pretty damn slim!

Piper: Good!

Styles: Nova and Flyboy team up... whip to the ropes and-- DOUBLE THRUST KICK!! Flyboy gets Mechius up and Nova springboards-- THERE IT IS!! THE QUICK TRIP TO CHINA!!!

Piper: They don't call him the InNOVAtor for nothing, Joey!!

Styles: Mechius is able to get up... Nova grabs Mechius and sets him up-- RUBBER BAND RUB OUT!! Nova's pulling off the stops to stop Mechius! And Kane just sat up! He's recovered!! Mechius' days are num--

Piper: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

Styles: My God, it... it's BEAST GOD LYGER?! What's he doing here?!! He's attacking Nova and Flyboy!!! He has them up-- DOUBLE AVALANCE BRAINBUSTER!!! He's attacking Kane now as Mechius pins both Nova and Flyboy?! NO! One! Two! Three!!! My God?! Why is Lyger helping Mechius?!!

ELIMINATED: Nova & Flyboy

Styles: Mechius looks confused as to why Lyger's helping him too... but he's not looking a gift horse in the mouth, he's helping him beatdown Kane! Countdown...

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

KRAK-KOOMM!!

"Burning Inside" cues up as Kaye charges, slidng into the ring and quickly pulls Lyger off and starts beating him down.

Styles: KAYE!! IT'S KAYE!! SHE'S COME TO RESCUE HER BROTHER!!

Styles: Kaye ducks a clawing swipe from Lyger-- MIGOD, KAYE EXPLODES ON LYGER!! TREMENDOUS FIREBALL THROWS LYGER OUT OF THE RING!! And Nova and Flyboy attack the Beast God!! Now Kaye and Kane stare at each other... my God, it's like looking at a mirror almost... but Kane gestures... are we going to see...? YES!! The siblings set Mechius up... DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!!! I think part of Mechius' armor plating just came loose!! And Kaye hugs Kane!! Kane's hugging back!! Does this... does this mean that Kane's back in the Knight Cross?!

Piper: Whatever it means, those two'd better set their good eyes to Mechius, he's up!!

Styles: My God he is!! CLOTHESLINE sends Kaye out of the ring!! Kane rushes in to stop Mechius, but he knees him in the gut!! SHUT DOWN!! Cover! One! Two! But Kane kicks out!! And... my God, Lyger has fought off Nova and Flyboy! He's rushing back into the ring to help Mechius again! The countdown's back up!

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

Styles: "Black" cues up! Kairi Lyger runs down, leaps forward and drives a fierce jump kick to the back of Beast God Lyger's head, stopping him from getting to the ring!!

Styles: Jyushin and Kairi are trading blows as... wait, Nova is getting back into the ring! Kane manages to whip Mechius to the corner and Nova sets him up... WIPEOUT!! YES!! And a part of Mechius just flew off!! Kane with the cover! One! Two! But Mechius kicks out!

Piper: DAMMIT!!

STYLES: OOOHHHHHMIIIIIGOD!!!! DID YOU JUST SEE WHAT BEAST GOD LYGER DID?!!! A JUMPING LYGERBOMB... FIFTEEN FEET UP!!! KAIRI'S... Kairi's out cold!! Lyger... I think Beast God Lyger's eliminated him from the match!!

ELIMINATED: Kairi Lyger

Styles: Lyger rushes in and... SAMURAI DRIVER TO KAYE ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!! He slides back in and does the same to Kane!! But-- my God both Kaye and Kane sit right back up!! The countdown's on again!

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"Travel Theme (To Crystalis)" cues up as Derek Walker comes out from the backstage, clad in hir armor and staring dead at Mechius.

Styles: It's Derek! The People's Extreme Champion looks like shi's setting up that rocket launcher... oh my God... Kane, Lyger, and Kaye'd better high-tail it...!!

Styles: Shi's got that rocket launcher set up... SHI FIRES!! MY GOD! DUCK AND COVER!!

The rocket shoots towards Mechius dead center--

Styles: Wha--?! LYGER CAUGHT THE ROCKET?! HOW THE HELL--?!

Piper: The Beast God's protecting Mechius! He's helping him!! He's doing a damn good job at it too!! Oh, and he just threw the rocket to the roof!! Lyger blew a hole in the Tokyo Dome!! Derek's angry!! Shi rushes in and starts attacking Lyger! But Lyger-- SHOTEI!! And Derek's knocked back! Shi's still in this match thanks to the armor! And shi-- NO! MECHIUS ATTACKS DEREK!! LOCK DOWN!! COVER! One! Two! Thr--NO! Derek kicks out! Kane and Kaye have joined in! Kaye and Derek is teaming up on Lyger while Kane's beating down on Mechius! And the timer is back on again!!

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"Return To Innocence" hits the PA; Lupe runs down the aisle and into the ring and attacks Mechius with all the fury she can muster, helping the Big Red Machine!

Styles: Lupe's in! Lyger and Mechius is beginning to get overwhelmed!

Styles: WAIT!! MY GOD, MECHIUS ELECTROCUTES LUPE AND KANE AGAIN! Lupe rolls to one side as Mechius covers Kane! One! Two! Three! My God, Mechius has eliminated Kane!!

ELIMINATED: Kane

Styles: Lyger gets clothslined out of the ring by Derek-- AND NOVA'S BACK!! HE'S ATTACK LYGER!! OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHMYGOD!!! HOLY CHRIST!!! NOVA JUST USED HIS POWERS!! SLEDGE-O-MATIC FROM TWENTY FEET UP INTO THE AIR!!! AND BEAST GOD LYGER'S INCAPACITATED!! Security's rushing in to separate these two!! The ring... OHH!! Mechius just landed the Game Over onto Kaye!! Cover! One! Two! But Derek and Lupe make the save! Mechius palm strikes Lupe in the gut! doubling her over-- DDT!! Derek grabs Mechius-- OHH!! BUT THE BACK OF HIR HEAD GETS SLAMMED BACK TO THE MAT! He covers Kaye again! One! Two! Thr--NO! Kaye gets a shoulder up!! Mechius gets up and picks Kaye up by the neck... wait, the countdown's started up again!!

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"Engel" cues up, and the fans let out a huge pop.

Styles: IT'S SHAED BLOODGRAVE!!! HE'S HERE!! He runs into the ring and grabs Mechius from behind-- DRAGON SUPLEX!! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!! KICK OUT!!

Styles: Mechius gets up-- oh, but he's met with a thunderous and fast Kurohijitsu kata from Shaed!! Parts of him are flying! And--

Shaed: SHO GEKI HA!!

Styles: THE SUDDEN IMPACT!!! IT'S THE SUDDEN IMPACT!! COVER! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!! MY GOD!! HOW DID MECHIUS KICK OUT?!!!

Piper: Man, put some rabbit ears on ol' Mechi, 'cause he keeps goin' and goin' and goin'!!

Styles: It's still four on one, though! And we still got four more opponents to go, not including the two secret opponents Lynxara promised! Derek--OH, SHI eats a swift roundhouse from Mechius!! But Shaed elbows him in the gut and throws an uppercut!! And a part of his face plate just got busted off!! NO! MECHIUS CLOTHESLINES SHAED OUT OF THE RING!! Kaye grabs Mechius for a full nelsom sla--NO!! SLAMMED INTO THE RING CORNER!! Mechius turns around-- My GOD, his upper torso just swiveled all the way around-- AND A MODIFIED LOCK DOWN!! One! Two! NO! Derek and Lupe saves Kaye!! But Mechius--OH!! NOGGIN-KNOCKER by MECHIUS!! My God! That horn Derek has-- I think Lupe's knocked out!! Mechius tosses Derek out of the ring and pins Lupe! One! Two! Three!! Lupe's out!

ELIMINATED: Lupe

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"Take A Look Around" cues up! Sonnette... or rather Sonic (she's got her fur dyed for this one) hits the ring at super speed and clocks Mechius with a strong kick to the head, staggering the monster and knocking the rest of his face plate off!

Styles: Kaye holds Mechius fast... looks like Shaed's going to lay in a thrust kick--NO, MECHIUS DUCKS!! KAYE'S STAGGERED!! Derek Walker quickly attacks Mechius, Sonnette joins in! But Mechius is fighting them off! DOUBLE LOCK DOWN!! Shaed charges in, but Mechius side-steps, grabs his head and--

*KRAK!!*

Piper: HOLY *bleep!*

Styles: MECHIUS HAS SNAPPED SHAED'S NECK!!! IS HE REVERTING BACK TO HIS MECHAOS PROGRAMMING! MY GOD... IF SHAED WASN'T IMMORTAL... but he's incapacitated! Mechius pins him! One! Two! Three!!! My God... Mechius has eliminated Shaed Bloodgrave!!

ELIMINATED: Shaed Bloodgrave

Styles: Mechius rolls Shaed out of the ring and goes to work on Sonnette and Derek... Kaye sits up!! Shaed's getting up too... he just reset his neck vertebrae--! Unbelievable! Kaye grabs a hold of Mechius-- BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX! One! Two! NO!! DAMMIT, Mechius keeps kicking out!! Mechius spin kicks Kaye down! He whips Derek into Sonnette! He's setting Kaye up into the corner... looks like Vertical Limitations... HE HITS IT!! Cover! One! Two! Three!! Kaye's eliminated!! Don't tell me Mechius is going to win this!!

ELIMINATED: Kaye

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"Astonishing Panorama of the Endtimes" cues up...

Styles: IT'S RYOKAMI!! HE JUST DROPPED DOWN FROM THE RAFTERS--MY GOD!!! WHAT A FLATLINER!!! And Mechius is down!! Cover! One! Two! Thr--NO!!?!

Styles: Ryokami looks to Derek and Sonnette... these three has tremendous animosity... I don't know if they can gel together at all... Ryokami climbs out of the ring and he's getting out the hardware!! Sonnette and Derek are keeping Mechius down! It looks like they ARE going to work together! Unbelievable!!

Piper: Talk about your strange bedfellows, Joey!

Styles: My God! Ryokami's got a... HE'S GOT A CHAINSAW?!! HOLY CHRIST!! HE'S GOT A CHAINSAW!!! He's in the ring!! Derek whips Ryokami into the corner and activates hir miniguns!! The bullets are denting his armor but that's as far as it'll do! Now shi's got the Circuit Breaker!! Mechius is twitching!! And now-- oh God Ryokami's started up the chainsaw!! He's got that chainsaw up and running and--WHAT THE HELL?!!

Piper: More party-crashers?!! And yeesh, is they ugly!!

Styles: We got three furries!! A shark, a wolf, and a cat!! They're attacking Ryokami, Sonnette and Derek!!! What the hell is going on here?!! Ryokami-- my God, he's getting mauled by that Shark!! The wolf is wearing down Sonnette!! The cat's drops Derek!! This is getting out of hand!! The shark throws the mauled Ryokami down and Mechius collapses on top of him!! It counts as a pin!! One! Two! Three!! NO!!

ELIMINATED: Ryokami

Styles: And Sonnette... Sonnette's getting choked out by the wolf... she's got her arms literally wrapped around her neck!!! She releases her! And Mechius pins her too!!! What the hell is going on here! One! Two! Three!! This is a travesty!!

ELIMINATED: Sonnette

Styles: And now the timer's activated again!

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"My Generation" cues up!

*BLINK!*

Styles: BLINK'S IN!! She's attacking the cat and the wolf, but the shark... no... my God BLINK! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!!

Styles: NO!! THAT SHARK, IT'S... IT'S EATING BLINK!! It's got her head and shoulders in it's mouth and thrashing her around!!! It's killing her!!

*BLINK!*

Blink teleports out of the shark's mouth, collapsing out of the ring, deep teeth marks just over her breasts and in her back!

Styles: No!! Blink's freed herself but she's hurt badly!! And the wolf... no! DAMN HER!! She's dragging Blink back to the ring!! THIS IS EVIL!! SOMEONE'S GOT TO--

Suddenly "We Will Rock You" cues up!

Styles: My God, that theme song!! LOOK!! IT'S RIK FELSTROM!! HE'S BACK!! HE'S BACK!!! And he's using his psionic powers to knock those three furries out of the ring!! Derek checks on Blink... shi looks upset... shi's telling Ayane... oh God... don't tell me...

ELIMINATED: Blink

Styles: Well, it's the right call... Derek pulls out hir sword and starts attacking Mechius as the EMTs carry Blink out... Lupe's joined her daughter and she looks distraught... meanwhile Rik and... it looks like the rest of Red Tooth & Claw are driving those three furries out of the ring!! Who are those three?!!

Piper: I don't know, but it's one-on-one now! Derek's doing good against Mechius but even shi's tiring! And there's that timer!

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"Fiction (Dreams In Digital)" cues up!

Styles: And here comes the next to final participant in this match! Carin Peacecraft rushes in and starts to attack Mechius with Derek's help! It's two on one, now!

Styles: Derek and Carin whips Mechius into the ropes, Mechius ducks a clothesline... MY GOD A DOUBLE LEAPING LARIAT ON THEM BOTH!! Mechius is damaged badly but he's still going strong!! Mechius whips Derek to the ropes!! GAME OVER!! And the pin! One! Two! Thr--NO! CARIN SAVES DEREK!! She grabs Mechius and kicks him repeatedly in the gut! She tells Derek something, Derek's holding Mechius fast as Carin heads up the top, leaps off, Derek lets go-- BLOCKBUSTER ON MECHIUS!! Derek AND Carin with the cover! One! Two! Thr--NO!! DAMMIT, Mechius powers out!! How in the hell?!!

Piper: Is Mechius tired at all?!

Styles: I don't know! He looks damaged but that's ALL! I think he's still IN this match! And the timer... it's going off again! Our final, mystery opponent!

5!
4!
3!
2!
1!

"Nine Lives" cues up!

Styles: My God... My GOD!! It's our Commisioner!! COMMISSIONER LYNXARA IS HEADING DOWN TO THE RING!! SHE'S BOOKED HERSELF IN THIS MATCH!! And she's got a steel chair!! SHE CLOCKS MECHIUS!!

Styles: She hits Mechius AGAIN with the chair! And again!! And--!! MY GOD, he just punched through it!! He's seized Lynxara by the neck!!

Mechius: That will not be tolerated.

*KRAK!* Styles: NO!!! MY GOD, HE-- MECHIUS HAS JUST SNAPPED LYNXARA'S NECK!! HE KILLED HER!!

Piper: Oh my God...

Carin: NNOOO!!!

Styles: Carin just seized Mechius in a full nelson!!! Lynxara's collapsed... oh God, he's... I can't believe... Carin just shot up into the air with Mechius! She flew up with him into that hole in the Tokyo Dome!! This is... my God, I... I can't believe... ladies and gentlemen, Commisioner Lynxara has been killed by Mechius! Derek is... shi's checking her out... I... I can't--

Suddenly the whole area is rocked with an tremendous explosion...

Styles: Folks, that... that explosion means that Carin Peacecraft has self-detonated... taking Mechius with her... she did it... but... it's much too late for Lynxara... my God... I... cut the cameras... just... turn the damn cameras off...

Styles: WAIT! TURN THE CAMERAS BACK ON!!!

A bright light shines down from the hole in the Tokyo Dome, over a weeping Derek a mourning Shaed and Rik and a lifeless Lynxara... floating down from the hole is...

Styles: CARIN PEACECRAFT!! SHE'S ALIVE!

Piper: And she's naked!

Styles: And she's glowing!!

Piper: And naked!!

Styles: How--?! Wasn't she blown up?!!

Piper: Joey, have you noticed by now... SHE'S NAKED!!!

Carin floats down to her knees and leans down towards Lynxara as an astonished Shaed, Rik, and Derek watch on... she seems to nuzzle her cheek... caressing her broken neck... and suddenly, Lynxara's eyes fly open as she gasps for air!

Styles: OMIGOD...!! Lynxara, she... SHE'S ALIVE!! Carin Peacecraft, she... she's brought Lynxara back to life!! I never... I've seen a lot of crazy things in my tenure as an EAW commentator... but this... this takes the cake!!

Piper: Not to mention the pie and the cantelope too! I am gonna hit the scotch hard tonight, Joey!

Styles: I'll join you in on a pint.

Piper: Good man, Joey!

Carin seems to smile softly as Lynxara blinkblinks... looking to Carin with a confused gaze... Carin then suddenly passes out.

And that is when the cameras shut off again. This time for good.