"QWEST SUCKS!" "nWo: Not Worth Overness" "GIANT WOMEN ROCK!" "EIGHTEN 12:64: 4 TIMES AS DEADLY!" "KIRK ANGEL: A *REAL* AMERICAN HERO!" "GIVE ME EAW OR GIVE ME DEATH!" "GOKUO'S ON JUICE!" "How do we de-rail the A-Train?" "Big Show Ate My Grandma!" "Edge no-sold my negative signs," various "We missed you, Oseiko!" and Kyouki Shoujo signs. "MAC > RVD" "The Dawn/Torrie angle bored my sister straight." "Heyman: take a tip from Angle, and just shave the skullet!" "I got a Stephanie 'signing bonus.'" "Me too" "Me too" "Me too" "Me too" "HLA!!" "Nova: tell ME the secret! ^.-" "*points down on girl* Wants the Dawning Legend to shine on me" "nWo fears arthritis" "HHH as champion; yeah, THAT'll put butts in seats" and

Next WWE World Champion?!

Kari: Welcome everyone, and we are live from Tampa, Florida for EAW Tuesday Night Mayhem!!

Paul: Right...and BG's come down with a little something...so filling in for her is..um..

Kari: Kari. Kari Gibson.

Paul: You kinda look familiar. Sorta like that Arianna girl.

Kari: That's because I'm her clone, Paul.

Paul: Oh..right. *ahem* Sorry. Well, there's quite a night ahead of us here in EXTREEEEEEME Attitude Wrestling, and there is a huge announcement coming up next by our co-commissioner Donnie B!

Kari: *flips through sheets* That isn't on my format...

Paul: Trust me, I'm right.

"Corporate Ministry" hits as Donnie B and The Big Show, his "bodyguard" comes out to a booing crowd who begins to throw trash. An angered Show scares off some fans as he gets ready to strike, but Donnie calms him down as they then continue to the ring. Donnie requests a mic.

Paul: Here we go. HUGE announcement forthcoming!!

Kari: If you say so...it could be anything. And likely not good news.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so glad to be in Tampa ...well...despite the fact that I have to see every single one of you sheeply morons in the arena." He says which draws out boos. Anyways, I have a few announcements to share with you. Now, as you all know, the Tournament for the title shot at the next Pay Per View, Split Second, has been a major success. I mean, it's pretty much a hot commodity. So I thought, why stop at the World Title? Which brings me to the WWE's so-called 'Elimination Chamber.'"

Kari: Huh? A little slow there...that's well over a month ago, Donnie.

Paul: Sh-shhhh!!

"Despite what the WWE would have you believe, not only that the Elimination Chamber was not either Eric Bischoff's or McMahon's idea. But they deliberately snuck in to my offices in Jersey, and took photos of my plans. But fear not, as the pictures they took, were of the alternate stucture. But at Razor's Edge, you'll see MY version of the Chamber, which will be called, The Ultimate Chamber of Elimination. The rules will have the same Elimination Chamber rules, but in addition, it'll have a bit of the Triple Tier Cage match, just for extra flavor. This will involve not six, but 8 Wrestlers in the ring. As of this time, only three will be selected, while the others will be slowly revealed during the upcoming weeks. The first three will be...Akiko Nakano, Nexus, and...your current EAW Triple Crown Champion, and my twin brother, NOVA! Now you wondering why I placed him in the match. That's right, the Triple Crown Title will be up for grabs. That's right, I'm killing two birds with one stone. I'm going to make an exciting Triple Crown Championshp match, AND to show the WWE, and especially Bischoff, how an Elimination Chamber match should be done..."

Paul: Now that's the kind of match, provided we had the budget to do it, I'd have liked to seen back in ECW!

Kari: However, you gotta think this shows, just like when Bischoff announced his Chamber, how little he cares about the athletes involved.

Paul: Well, I think at the very least, Nexus, Nova, and Akiko will LOVE it!!

Donnie pauses as the crowd are in shock over the match made at Split Second. "And now, another announcement. I'm going to be away for the next few weeks, as I will be promoting the EAW Overseas." A "Na Na Na Na" Chants starts as he continues. "Where are we going this time? It'll be in the outback itself, Austrailia!

The crowd seems to be abit interested in the thought of EAW TV in Austrailia. Otherwise, the chant continues.

"NA NA NA NA...NA NA NA NA...HEY HEY HEY...GOOD-BYE!"

"NA NA NA NA...NA NA NA NA...HEY HEY HEY...GOOD-BYE!"

"NA NA NA NA...NA NA NA NA...HEY HEY HEY...GOOD-BYE!"

Paul: Ugh...can you believe the disrespect shown by these fans?! What is with them?!

Kari: Well, it IS Donnie B talking...

"Now, with my 'Co-Commisioner' gone for some reason or another, I can't just leave the EAW without a commissioner, now can I? So now, in my absence, your acting EAW Commissioner... PAUL HEYMAN!"

Kari: HUH?! YOU?!?!

Paul: I TOLD you this would be an earth-shattering announcement!!

Heyman grins, and steps up from the commentators position, into the ring, all smiles, and goes in to shake Donnie's hand.

Kari: Heyman as acting co-commissioner...ugh...this will not be good.

Donnie smiles. "Now Paul, I am confident that you'll make all of the right decision and fulfill your duties as EAW Commisioner in Morrigan's and my absences...

Kari: Well, can Heyman be much more crooked than Donnie?

Heyman grins widely. "Donald...let me put it this way...I knew when to make the right decisions all of my career. So now...with this new power...it will be exactly the same."

Kari: In other words, just as crooked as always...oh wait--Heyman was the one who bankrupted his own company in a short-sighted attempt to go national too quickly.

"Okay..." He says, even though he remembers ECW, he keeps a straight face. "I would appreciate if all of the Fans and Superstars give Paul here the same respect, as you would do me effective, right now! Thank you, and good night!

"Money" hits as Donnie heads to the back.

"Alive" by P.O.D. starts to play, and the crowd cheers loudly as our first match starts, the first combatant coming out wearing a sexy looking schoolgirl outfit.

Capetta: Our first contest of the evening is a Tournament Second Round match scheduled for one fall under ECW Rules! Introducing first, from Venice Beach, California...standing 5'8" tall and weighing in at 118 pounds...ARIANNA!

Heyman: And my fellow booking committee member Chris Waters' tournament continues on! One half of Supply and Demand going up against one of the most violent men in wrestling today.

Kari: And this is gonna be a tough match for Ari to deal with...I know if I were her I would be wearing more reserved clothing...Ari also has to deal emotionally, as she's facing her lover's brother.

Heyman: If she can't put personal relations aside for business, then she shouldn't be in this company.

Kari: Now that's not a very fair assessment...but in any event, Arianna's got a tough task ahead of her...but first, something from earlier this evening.

----------------------------------------

Ari walks in with her gymbag as she runs into Lexay.

"Hi." She greets her with a smile.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing really, just getting ready for tonight."

Lexay looks at her, wondering if she's thinking right, "...You know who your facing tonight, right?"

Ari's smile now turns into concern. "Yeah..."

Lexay grabs her by the arm. "Ari, are you sure about this? I mean, he's extremely loco, you can get seriously hurt."

Ari just smiles. "Lexay, Lexay, Lexay... don't worry. You see, Bullwhip is just a guy with a lot of inner frustrations, which he only releases when he fights, and he enjoys this. But tonight, I have something to negative his psychotic attitude. Something that might turn his frown upside down."

Lexay walks towards Ari as she grabs the zipper of her bag. "What do you have that can possibly-" She unzips and looks in. She gets a huge smiles on her face. "No way... No way..."

"Yes. The very thing that can make him, or anyone for that matter happy..." Ari smiles as she then walks off.

"Good luck, girl." Lexay says as she watches on. "...You'll need it..." She sighs as she too walks off.

----------------------------------------

"Back The Fuck Up" cues up next, and the crowd reaction does a complete 180 for the next participant...who doesn't look in that good of a mood.

Capetta: And her opponent...from Amityville, NY, standing 6'3" tall and weighing in at 235 pounds...BULLWHIP!

Heyman: And HERE is one tough individual to deal with. This guy might just be the winner of this tournament.

Kari: He has a good chance to win it, but first he needs to through Ari...and that's NOT as easy as it sounds!

Heyman: But he's doing the smart thing! He's right on the attack as Ari as her back to him!

Kari: Someone ring the bell already!

Kari: Bullwhip is on the offensive early on in this match, not even allowing Ari to get any offensive started! Sending her off the ropes now, and blasts her with a sick looking clothesline!

Heyman: Bullwhip may end the match early right now! He's going for his UKO...

Kari: But Ari ducking it...grabbing the arm of Bullwhip...and dropping a leg onto it!

Heyman: That was the only thing that saved Ari there...her quickness. ...what's she doing now though?

Kari: ...she's licking his cheek! I don't know what Ari has planned...but whatever it is it seems to have worked...as Bullwhip doesn't know what to make of that.

Heyman: Look at this! Ari getting in close to Bullwhip...rubbing herself against him!

Kari: I think that Ari is trying to seduce Bullwhip into a false sense of security there...look at Bullwhip! He doesn't know what to do right now...

Heyman: Bad move Whip! Ari with a quick cradle!

.

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One

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TWO...KICKOUT!

Kari: Ari almost had Bullwhip right there, but he managed to get his shoulder back up. Ari now trying again...

Heyman: But not this time for Bullwhip! He just shoves her away this time...and punches away at her face!

Kari: Arianna now getting on the defensive, but Bullwhip now having his way with her, pounding away at her viciously. Getting her up to her feet now...and there's a Frankensteiner by Bullwhip!

Heyman: Bullwhip not going for the cover now though, and that could be a big mistake for him. But I think that he might be wanting to punish him for what she tried.

Kari: Bullwhiop pulling her up to her feet, and sending her into the ropes, catches her, and SIDE BACKBREAKER delivered!! Pulling her back up, and waistlock now--hoisting her up on his shoulders!! Could be a reverse powerbomb--

Paul: NO NO NO!! Shots to the top of the head!! Raining down rights--turns around and DROPS her face first onto the top turnbuckle!! YOWCH!!

Kari: Setting up Arianna on the top rope--SNAP SUPLEX delivered!! Crashing to the mat hard!! And to the outside--somersault legdrop across the upper back!! Double underhook, and--

Paul: TESTICULAR CLAW!! TESTICULAR CLAW!!!!

Kari: Lining up her left fist, and a hard volley right into the crotch by Arianna!! And Flipping Dropkick puts him down!! Cover by Arianna!

.

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ONE!

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TWO!

NO!

Paul: Getting up now, rubbing that tender spot, and a swinging neckbreaker by Arianna!! Dragging him near the ringpost now, and CROTCHES him on the ringpost!!

Kari: Going for a steel chair now, and Bullwhip crawling away...trying to his bearings back and get back up to his feet. Arianna with--a hard chairshot to the face!! Bullwhip seemingly only angered by that--up--and--PUNCHES it back into the face of Arianna!!

Paul: Shaking his fist out from that, but it did the trick--Arianna back up--CLOTHESLINED by Bullwhip!! Picking her back up--and the Jagged Edge by Bullwhip onto the chair!! HARD kick into the back!! And a cover by Bullwhip...

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ONE!

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TWO!

--kickout!!!

Kari: Bullwhip looking disappointed, but he appears to be ready to just wail on her with the chair. No, wedging it into the corner...a Raven strategy ready to be employed--and Arianna up--WHIPPING HER HARD BACKFIRST into the corner!!

Paul: Back into the far corner now...and charging out of it--GOO--*WHAM*

Kari: Arianna springing up just in time, suspended above the top rope with her legs!! Rolls over and a schoolboy on Bullwhip!!

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.

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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....KICKOUT just in time by Bullwhip. Yet, he knocked himself senseless there, and given Arianna the chance to take advantage.

Paul: Arianna grabbing the chair, and going up to the top rope--ARIKAZE as Bullwhip gets up, and that has to be it!! NO!! Bullwhip rolling out of the ring!! And this isn't falls count anywhere, so he's managed to save himself here. And who says No-DQ matches are mindless?

Kari: Well, I don't know if he meant to do that or not, but Arianna is going to have to lug dead weight into the ring if she wants to make the pinfall, which is going to be quite difficult when you've been in a difficult match. Rolling out now, and trying to get Bullwhop back into the ring...and finally getting him in...he seems to be recovering now, much to the shock of Arianna.

Paul: Grabbing the steel chair now...Bullwhip up--catches the chair--VANDAMINATOR!!

Kari: That could be it...and it seems like Bullwhip's busted open!! Arianna dragging him near the corner--Split-Legged--KNEES UP!! KNEES UP!! What in the hell?!

Paul: Bullwhip isn't out of it yet!! And despite Arianna's blatantly-stolen-from-RVD-offense, he's not done yet!! Getting up...and...Arianna up--GORE!! GOOOORE!! GOOOORE!!

Kari: Picking Arianna up, and he's beginning the Extreme Impact!! Tiger Driver 91...once...twice...three times...FOUR?! FIVE?!?! And up on his shoulders--Death Valley Driver!! Locking on the STC!! And Arianna tapping out!!

Paul: GOOD!! I was wondering if Arianna was still alive...

The winner of this match, and proceeding into the tournament's next round, Bullwhip!!

Instead of merely leaving, he tosses Arianna out of the ring, and sets up a glass table, laying Arianna against it near the steel stairs.

Paul: The CHAOS!! RIGHT THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE!!

Kari: Bullwhip has completely lost his mind?! What's he trying to do, impress Ryokami?!

Paul: Here comes Buzzsaw!!!

The two begin brawling, with Buzzsaw hitting him with a powerbomb..then he picks him up for another one, but Bullwhip nails him with a large glass glass shard, and runs over Buzzsaw with a clothesline. Referees pour out from the locker room, and Bullwhip decks three of them...before finally behind handcuffed and led away from the ring.

Paul: ...damn...I have no words to describe that! O_O

Kari: Except, I pity his next opponent... =P ANYWAY...we'll be back after break, so we can clean up the debris around the ring...don't miss the rest of Mayhem!!

*BREAK TIME IN THE CITY!*

We open back to the commentator's table.

Kari: Well Heyman, we go from the brutal match we had just a few minutes ago to a brutal match of a completely different kind.

Heyman: You got that right Kari...Trish X and Kelly Connelly-Flair will fight to continue on in the tournament as well, but in only the second ever Giantess Rumble!

Kari: And you'd have to agree Paul that Trish has the advantage in this type of match, as she was the one who not only fought in, but WON the FIRST Giantess Rumble match against the experienced fighter Glenda Jacobs.

Heyman: That's a point, but you also have to think that Kelly WANTS to participate in this kind of match, while Glenda didn't.

Kari: Well, that's true too. But now, we take you to Hollywood, where the participants are coming in for the match!

---------------------------

We open to Hollywood, California...right in front of the Hollywood sign, where we find Atlantis in her referee outfit, waiting patiently for the participants in the match to enter.

After a while, through portals mirroring each other, Trish X and Kelly Connelly-Flair walk out, both in their ring attires. They get face to face with each other in front of the Hollywood sign...and after Atlantis explains the rules to both of them. Once that is done...she motions for them to get into the fight.

Kelly and Trish lock up right away, doing a test of strength with each other, trying out each other. After a bit, Kelly shows that she's just a TWINGE stronger than Trish is, by pushing her hard into Hollywood Hill. Trish manages to roll away before Kelly can use a boot choke onto the hill...and grabs the O's off of the hill, using them as projectiles and nailing Kelly in the forehead with them, knocking her back into MGM Studios. Kelly smashes the water tower of it against Trish's body as the Hardy-ish girl comes in.

Kelly grins at having the advantage with that, and takes Trish with a hard hip-toss into WB Studios. Trish lands hard, rolling so she's stomach down...laying on a building next to the WB Water tower. Kelly takes the opportunity to introduce a new move to her arsenal...using the tower to do a 619 onto Trish. Kelly goes for the first cover of the match.

One

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

Kelly seems a tiny bit discouraged that it didn't finish Trish off, but takes it in stride. She goes to pick up Trish for another move...but Trish does the Sit Down Jawbreaker...landing on top of a building as she does. Trish then sees Kelly down...and takes a page from the playbook of RVD...doing a Rolling Thunder onto Kelly. She stays on for the cover...

One

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TWO...kickout.

Trish gets Kelly back up to her feet, and tries to go for a Twist of Fate...but Kelly manages to push Trish away...right into the Hollywood Bowl...which Trish trips over. Kelly grabs the bowl and smashes it right onto Trish's head, the pieces shattering. Trish looks wobbly, as Kelly goes to rush attack her. Trish ducks down though, and does a drop-toe hold onto the Hollywood Wax Museum. Kelly gets up and has to spit wax figures out of her mouth after this.

When Kelly gets back up onto her feet, Trish uses a few smaller buildings to do the railing rolling dive onto Kelly, knocking her back into the remains of the Wax Museum. Trish grins a bit...waiting for Kelly to get up, and attempts a flying head-scissors to Kelly...but Kelly catches her...and gives her a powerbomb right into Hollywood Memorial Park. She stays on for the cover, but Trish manages to get a shoulder up before a count is given. Kelly kicks Trish in the head at that...and signals that she's going to end the match.

As Trish gets up, Kelly goes to cinch her up to deliver a Condition Red onto her, but Trish turns it into a quick Northern light's suplex...landing right in front of Mann's Chinese Theater...and the Hollywood walk of Fame. Kelly slowly gets up, not letting Trish get a pinning predicament onto her. Kelly tries for a kick to Trish's face, but Trish manages to duck it, and sets up Kelly...and delivers the X-Treme Stratusphere onto Kelly right onto the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She goes for the cover...

One

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TWO

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THREE!

Atlantis taps Trish on the back, telling her she won...and she raises Trish's hand. Trish then goes to check on Kelly, who gets up after a while...and shoves Trish away, leaving disgruntled. Trish looks a bit hurt by this, but shrugs and celebrates a bit in Hollywood as the camera fades out.

*COMMERCIALS GO HERE...PEOPLE GO INSANE! IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE!

When we come back from break, we find President Gokuo in the ring...

Kari: Well, Gokuo has been hyping this up for several days...and something you've likely been looking forward to, Paul.

Paul: Well...yeah. I LOVE lesbians...of course, I'd like it more with Morrigan here to enjoy it with me, but if she wasn't really supportive of it...so be it.

"Fans of EAW...this is President Gokuo, and here tonight I'm pleased to announce a very special presentation. Now, our competition has had this bad habit of promising...and not delivering. However, since you demanded it, I feel it is MY duty to comply, and show you that in EAW, the fans come first!! You came here for quality wrestling...but as an added bonus, you will ALSO get...H-L-A! H-L-A!!"

Paul: H-L-...well yeah.

Kari: Why hold back, Paul?

Paul: Just...think maybe this is a bit disrespecting of women.

Kari: Like that every stopped you in ECW!

The crowd quickly gets an HLA chant going, but some men there with their girlfriends get smacked in the back of the head.

"Well, without any further ado, tonight's lesbians for the evening...well, bisexual females, but regardless--Lexay Too Sexay, and Krise Stratus!!!"

"Rock The Party (Off The Hook" by P.O.D. cues up, and, holding hands, out comes Lexay with Krise. LG seperates the ropes for them, allowing them both to easily get in the ring.

"Now...just relax girls. Now first, let's get a little more comfortable..."

With that, the girls strip each other down to their bras and panties: Lexay removing Krise's stockings, while she pulls her black dress up over her head.

"Now girls...embrace, and give us that warm, sweet, tender Kleenex-requiring, Kodak moment...

The girls giggle, and Lexay wraps her arms around Krise's waist, as the two touch lips and close their eyes. Krise licks Lexay's cheek, and Lexay does so in return, and they jokingly Eskimo-kiss. Krise squeezes as Lexay's ass as we clearly see some tongue action. The two slap spit slowly, and Krise nibbles on Lexay's neck, who reciprocates by nibbling her ear, then lapping at it like a playful little puppy.

Krise squeals, and wraps her legs around Lexay's waist, who picks her up in her arms, and begins to lick at her taut tummy...

"Okay, girls...maybe here's a good place to stop," Gokuo says, clearing his throat.

Lexay sort of apologize, and the two go back to necking--feeling up each other. Krise's hand slides underneath the back of Lexay's panties, as Lexay licks at her neck, and nuzzles against her chest...

"Bombshell" by Powerman 5000 cues up...

Paul: WHA?! OH NO!! NOT THOSE DAMN DUD--oh yeah, Glenda...forgot. What's she?

Kari: Well, I think I have some idea...she was quite upset about the Giantess Rumble match...and this doesn't really sit well with her either...

"What NOW?!" Gokuo grumbles, as Glenda stalks her way down towards the ring.

"Whoa whoa whoa...Glenda, Glenda...what's the problem? Okay...I know that this isn't exactly something you like to see going on out here. I assure you it's a one time thing. It's just that I was doing something that Vince never had the BALLS to go through with, but like the jackass he is, he would tease it."

Paul: Well, LG is certainly one used to making daring business decisions--he's wrong about Vince of course..but..

Kari: Suck up. :P

Glenda doesn't seem to care, and instead rushes inside the ring. The girls have already ceased with their making out, and Gokuo tries to block Glenda's path.

"Consider me doing you a favor Gokuo--I'm just making sure this won't go any further than this.."

She backs away, then ducks under the arm of Gokuo, and nails a dropkick to Lexay. Krise backs away towards the corner, but she grabs her and chokeslams her into the mat. Lexay attacks her from behind, but is tossed into the corner, then clotheslined. The crowd boos heavily as Glenda then picks up Krise by the hair, and Jackknife Powerbombs her!!

Paul: GLENDA ON A RAMPAGE!! Flipping backwards out of the ring, and LG holding back Lexay, who wants to tear her apart!!

Kari: To say the least!! And Gokuo picking up his mic.

"Glenda!! I think I know a challenge when I see it--next EAW Riot Rulz--YOU and Son'll defend your tag team titles, against Lexay and Arianna!!"

Glenda shrugs and mouths, "Sure...don't matter to me.."

Kari: Whoa--Arianna and Lexay are getting a title shot!

Paul: Maybe Son and Glenda will...eh, you don't think, do you?

Kari: Well, I know Son'd be into HLA, but not Glenda. =P

Paul: Oh well...

**Commercial Break**

"Superstar" by Saliva cues up as we come back from break.

Kari: Welcome back to Mayhem, everyone! I'm Kari Gibson, filling in for BG Hyde...here with Paul Heyman! And up next, the EAW Triple Crown Title will be on the line!

Paul: Right you are, Kari--with an ECW alumni defending against the Legend Killer! It'll be a brutal bout...although Nova may not have been expecting it to be turned into an Extreme Match.

Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit, and is for the EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first, accompanied by his wife and manager Kelly, the challenger, from Minneapolis, Minnesota. He stands 6'2" and weighs in at 210 pounds. The self-proclaimed "Legend Killer"....Daaaaaavid Flair!!!

David is wearing the attire he wore at AHE...minus the title belt around his waist. Kelly is wearing an elegant gold dress as she accompanies him to the ring, as the fans boo him angrily...

Kari: David Flair has been up to something, to be sure...you can count that it isn't good, and if he should win the title here tonight...well, we may never hear the end of it. Unless he wins the World Title.

Paul: Get used to it, Kari, because both of those things will happen. Maybe he may not win the TC title back tonight, but soon, and the World Title as well...

Kari: Well, judging by that dress, Kelly certainly thinks he'll win tonight.

"Conflict" by Disturbed cues up..and the crowd hasn't completely changed their reaction, but there are quite a bit of cheers mixed in with the boos as Nova's theme cues up.

Capetta: And the defending EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion...he is accompanied by his manager, Crysta Sparks. from Silicon Valley, California...he stands 5'10" and weighs in at 215 pounds...Noooova!!

Nova comes out with his title belt around his waist, and with Crysta up on his shoulders.

Kari: Nova and David with some thick animosity between them...and under these rules, WHO KNOWS just how out of control this match could get!!

Paul: Of course...was brilliant of me to announce the change in rules!

Kari: Sure. =P

Nova gets in the ring and hands over the title to the referee, not taking his eyes off David...

CHAMPIONSHIP
Extreme Rules
David Flair vs. Nova (C)

*ding, ding*

Kari: These two not wasting any time, coming right out of the gate with some vicious rights! Nova sends David into the ropes--caught, and side slammed. Grabbing a table already in the ring, and setting it up--picking up David--NO! Double leg takedown! Now David going for a catapult--

Paul: Nova launched face first into the table!!

David nails Nova with some cheap shots to the face, then drags him into the center of the ring, elbowing him in the left knee, then wrenching the same leg into a modified leg lace.

Kari: David employing some work on Nova's leg, now grabbing the pieces off table, and slingshotting off the second rope!

Paul: Sandwiching Nova's legs between the table pieces!! I love it!

David Flair uses opportunity while Nova is down to crawl out of the ring, fetching a ladder!!

Kari: Nova getting up, David rushing to get in a good shot--Nova catches the ladder--brings it crashing down across the head of David!!

Paul: Rams it like a battering ram into the midsection of David, and laying it on the mat...hoists up David, and hits a half-nelson DDT right on the ladder!!

Paul: Nothing too fancy about Nova's gameplay--attacking the head full-on...off the ropes now--David in staggered state getting up--Nova leaps high up--and a ROCKER DROPPER RIGHT ON THE LADDER!! DAAAAAAAAMN!!!

"HOLY SH*T!! HOLY SH*T!! HOLY...!!!"

Nova covers...1...2--no! Kickout by David.

Nova picks up David, attempting a Deep Impact, but a low blow counters, and is of course perfectly legal. David hits a shin breaker, driving Nova's weight down across the ladder, and doing quite a bit of damage in the process. He puts Nova's left leg between the ladder, then rushes to the near ropes...

Paul: David with Nova's legs in a vulnerable position, and a SPRINGBOARD BODY PRESS just SQUASHES the Superhero of Extreme's legs!!

David then drapes Nova's left leg between the second and top rope, then flips him out of the ring so his ankle is trapped, giving David free reign for a bit on Nova's leg.

Kari: Nova's leg trapped between the ropes, and David grabbing a steel chair from ringside!!

Paul: The Legend Killer wailing away on Nova's left leg!! And I don't think we'll see another Rocker Dropper from Nova after this!!

Finally, Nova loosens himself, falling out to the outside. David grabs him in a waistlock as he hoists him up, attempting a German Suplex..

Kari: Mule kick between the legs of David! Right out of David's dear old dad's playbook!! Nova hopping on one leg, picking up that steel chair, and blasts David with it!!

Paul: Nova feeling the effects of that damage to his knee, and pulling up the mats on the outside...pulling up David--rushing reverse bulldog position--HITS THE SHELLSHOCK!! Nova rubbing the sore knee, and trying to get the blood flowing through it better, and grabbing the steel chair.

Nova pulls up David, and rams him face-first into the apron, then blasts him over the back of the head with a chairshot. Nova then climbs up to the nearby announce table...

Kari: Nova up on on the edge of the table--LEAPING DOWN AND NAILING DAVID across the back!!

Paul: The Legend Killer on all fours...and trying to retreat here to avoid any further damage.

Kari: In other words, running LIKE A SCOLDED DOG!! SCOLDED DOG!!

Paul: ...I really hate that.

Kari: Good. =P Nova with the steel chair now chasing after David...David up, and we've got a chase here!

Paul: Well, you know what they say about a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest, and Nova's a one legged man!

Kari: David cornered here near the railing--and Kelly nails him in the back of his head with his own title!!

Paul: Extreme Rules!! All legal!!

Kari: Now tossing David..a pair of handcuffs?!

Paul: Well, I didn't know those two had a sex life quite like that, but this is no time--OH!! Blasts Nova with the handcuffs!!

Kari: Whipping Nova hard into the steel steps!! And now tying his hands up into the ropes--and HANDCUFFING HIM IN PLACE!!

Nova tries to fight free, as he blindfolds Nova...

Kari: and CRYSTA ATTACKING KELLY FROM BEHIND!! Crysta on top of Kelly and slapping her!!

Paul: CATFIIIIIIIGHT!! Hehe--sorry, Joey...CAAAATFIIIIIGHT!!

Kari: David with a CHAIRSHOT to the back of Crysta!! Now...putting a cigarette in Nova's mouth, and giving him a light?!

Paul: Giving him a final smoke, as he lines up up for that chairshot--OOOH!!

*WHAM!! WHAM!! WHAM!! WHAM!! WHAM!! WHAM!! WHAM!!...WHAM!!...WHAM!!.....WHAAAAAM!!!*

Paul: TEN CHAIRSHOTS IN A ROW!! That has got be it!!

Kari: Rolling Nova onto the apron, and now climbing on top for the pinfall...

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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NOVA KNEES HIM IN THE GROIN!! And David rolling off into the floor!!

Paul: Nova quite clearly busted open..and pulling at those handcuffs---HE BREAKS THEM!! HE BREAKS HIM!!

Kari: Nova must have dug deep down for some of his superhero strength for that--or those were just really poor quality.

Paul: David settle for anything cheap?! NEVER!!

Kari: Well, right now I'm looking at Kelly...

Paul: THE NERVE!!

Kari: Heheh...David getting up--and DISCUS PUNCH USING THE HANDCUFF!!! David knocked right on his ass!!

Paul: Nova getting into the ring, and setting up the ladder...right near the end of the ring...climbing up a bit sluggishly..but David up now, and a corkscrew body press onto the challenger!! Into a pinning combination!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Kari: And Nova going back up onto the apron--guillotine legdrop with th--ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! And Nova was going to hit it with the right leg, but with no David, the blow wasn't cushioned and he may have damaged that left leg further.

Paul: May have? He did! David up now...grabbing the ankles, and driving a headbutt into the groin!!

Kari: Pulling up Nova, and a leg drag takes him over--Nova getting up--and sliding dropkick into the back of the bad leg.

Paul: Elbow shots to the upper back, and he looks to be in trouble here...and David going for the Legendary End!! CHAIRSHOT by Crysta makes the save!! A second one in the back of the head!! And Nova with a roll through!!

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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KICKOUT!!

Kari: And Crysta and Kelly getting back into it...Nova pulling up David, and setting him up for the Kryptonite Krunch!! But--Kelly has Crysta set up for the Condition Red!!

Paul: Nova unsure of what to do...David slipping free--LOW BLOW!! And into a roll up!!

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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THREE!!

*ding, ding, ding*

The winner of this match...and NEW EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion--DAVID FLAIR!!

The crowd boos after the announcement is made.

Paul: David wins!! David wins!!

Kari: Hmm?! What does this mean for the Chamber of Elimination Match that Donnie B announced? Nova was scheduled to go into it the champ.

Paul: I don't know...

Kari: You'd BETTER KNOW Mr. Acting Co-Commissioner. You're going to have to make a decision about it.

Paul: Oh...well, I will consider the circumstances before making a verdict...however, I am partial to seeing these two tangle again.

Kari: Kelly raising David's arm after hitting Crysta with the Condition Red anyway, although on the mat.

And--

The lights go out...

*SHREEEEEEEEEEEEIK*

Kari: A blackout! AHHHH--Stephanie singing!!

The lights go up, and a confused David and Kelly look around, as a masked figure dressed similarly to Sting's Crow look (with a scorpion-themed mask instead of facepaint), complete with bat!!

Kari: THE Black Scorpion we saw earlier!! And Kelly and David both blindsided by that bat!!

Nova and Crysta recover, to see the Scorpion wailing away on the Flairs.

Paul: And pulling up David Flair!! Dragging him near the exposed floor--SCORPION DEATH DROP!!! SCORPION DEATH DROP!! And now putting David into--the Scorpion Death LOCK!!

Nova waves goodbye to David dropping the Triple Crowd Title on the back on his head, and Crysta kicks Kelly in the stomach, as he helps her on the way back to the locker rooms.

Paul: David tapping!! David tapping!!

Kari: Letting go now...and Nova lost the title, but David doesn't look like a winner here...

Paul: Damn...

Immediately following..

the camera goes to the entrance of the arena, where it seems that the nWo Leader enters the building.

Kari: WHERE ARE ALL THESE WEIRDOS COMING FROM?!

Paul: ...I don't know!! Why are you asking me?!

Kari: You're the acting co-commish--YOU SHOULD BE ON TOP OF THINGS LIKE THIS!!

Paul: *sigh* It's my first night!!

**Commercial Break**

Backstage...we find Nova leaving Aeris' office, an icebag against his forehead--running straight into--the Black Scorpion.

"...you...why the hell didn't you come out sooner? I thought you'd want to cost David his title?

"I thought you'd object to me helping...I didn't realize..."

"Eh...shit happens, but it wouldn't been nice and legal and everything. Well, David's officially pissed the more off than I was already. No reason I shouldn't go out there and spill his big secret right now."

"Actually there is...now isn't the right time."

"And why not?"

"I'll show you--David's taken measures to cover his ass..." he replies, urging him to follow him.

"Eh?" Nova mutters, confused...and follows.

Kari: Hm...something's up.

Paul: I think we've been a little lax with security? How'd that Sting-wannabe get in here?

Kari: Likely as someone else...

Paul: Hm..

"Gonna Fly Now" cues up as Kirk Angel appears on stage. He's got on an armband with the name "Suzuko" on his right arm. H stop halfway down the ramp and holds up his right arm, sending off his fireworks. He taps his fist to his chest and mouths, "This one's for you, Suzuko."

Capetta: The following match is for the World Championship Tournament. Making his way to the ring, from Pittsburg, PA, weighing 220 lbs, Your Olympic Hero, Kirk Angel!!

Kari: Angel coming out. He's tributed the match to his sister's best friend who is tragically dying.

Paul: Yeah. He wants to win this thing bad. And he looks very determined.

"Bodies [xXx Virena Mix]" by Drowning Pool now cues and Violette walks out, heading straight for the ring, determination in her face.

Capetta: And his opponant, from LA, and weighing 128 lbs, Violette!

Kari: Look at Violette. She's been working hard to get respect and be taken seriously. And this tournament is her chance.

Paul: It doesn't matter to her the Kirk's got a mission to dedicate the win to a dying girl. This is Violette's dance and she wants to on top.

Violette gets things started. She runs forward with a flying back elbow to Angel's face. He stumbles and she whips him to the ropes and hits him with a Lou Thesz as he comes off. She gets up and stomps at him until he starts to get up. She whips him again and gets in a backdrop. While he's down, she runs up the turnbuckle and goes for a moonsault to a leg drop. Angel rolls out of the way just in time and grabs her when she lands into a rollup that just makes it to 1.

He gets up and gives her a knee drop. She kicks up and punchs at him. He catches it and instinctivly throws a punch of his own... but seems to pull it at the last moment!

Paul: What was that?!

Kari: Well, my sourses have told me that Angel wants to win this match without using punches. He wants to show off his true technical skill.

Paul: Oy vey...

Angel's hesitation gets a kick tot he gut for his trouble and...

Kari: Frostbite!!

Paul: No! Too early! Angel just slipped off her shoulders behind her and... OH! Look at that German Suplex! I've never seen him jerk someone that hard!

Kari: Angel has alot on his mind riding on this match. He's really gonnna put the screws to Violette and use his technical power with as much gusto as he can manage.

He follows up the suplex with a hard Irish whip tot he ropes and catches her with a jerking armdrag. She rolls up to her fet and charges in and he tosse sher high with a backdrop. HE's going...

Paul: ANKLELOCK!! ANKLELOCK!! WOOOOOO!

Kari: He's twisting that ankle hard! There is no mercy in this match! But It's perhaps a bit early, Violette clawing over and grabbign those ropes. And Angel's a good sport, letting it go.

He pulls her up and jerks her hard in a side suplex. As she's getting up, he runs in and takes her back down with a clothesline.

Paul: Hey! I thought he wasn't using punches!

Kari: Well, a clothesline isn't exactly a punch. It's still not that technical, but he seems to be allowing it.

He pulls her up by the arm and locks in an armbar. He then lets go, wrestling down to her foot and yanks it up in another Anklelock. But again, Violette is able to make the ropes.

She kicks him in the face as he's letting go and climbs up, grabbing him in an elbow to collar tieup. She lifts him up for a vertical suplex, but he lands behind her and lifts her up in a High angle backdrop. He grabs her by the head and pulls her up, but she shoves him away and rushes in with more punches and then a headlock takedown. She hops up and drops an elbow to him.

She pulls him up and elbows him in the face and grabs him for a belly to belly suplex. He counters though and gets behind her and gives her a Belly to Back suplex. She hits hard and gets up on a knee dazed. He grabs her again and once more tosses her over with a Side Suplex.

Kirk heads to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top rope. Violette begins to get up and as she stumbles around ot face him, Kirk sails off and drops her with a cross body!

Kari: Oh! the Ref! He was too close and Kirk's feet smacks him in the head!

Paul: It was the refs fault!

The ref is laid out, but Kirk locks on another Anklelock, wrenching hard. Violette yells out and begins tapping.

Paul: She's tapping! That's it!

Kari: No! The ref is out! He's not seeing it!

Kirk notices and lets go of Kari and heads over to check on the ref. Violette takes this time and rushes Angel's back, punching him and locks on a hammerlock. She then whips him to the corner and...

Paul: GORE!! GORE!! GOOOOOOORE!!!

Kari: Eek!

Violette gets up from a hard gore to Kirk. She looks to the crowd and taunts a them before stepping back, crouching and ready. Kirk stumbles up to his feet and she launches herself at him again, for another Gore. Angel hops over her this time. He spns around and grabs her from behind with a sleeper hold! He locks his legs around her waist and takes her to the mat. She struggles and the ref's up by now. He checks on Violette and raises her arm once... it drops... twice... drops... third time... She holds it up! She shakes, getting herself pumped back up and elbows Angel a few times, causing him to let go. She rolls up and before he can stand up she runs up the turnbuckle and flies off with a Pheonix Sault! She hits him but he uses the momentum to roll her up! But he doesn't pin her, he rolls her into a Rings of Saturn like move!

Kari: It's the Olympic Rings! His new move he's been planning! The Olympic Rings!!

The ref slides down to face Violette. Kirk wrenches her arms back hard, ripping at both of her shoulders. She has pain on her face and after 15 seconds nods her head in pain to the ref. The Ref hops up and calls for the bell.

Winner, by Submission: Kirk Angel!

"Gonna Fly Now" cues up as Kirk hops to his feet. He spins around and taps the armband and salutes to the camera.

Kari: A great match with a great end! And I bet that Suzuko is watching on happy at home!

Heyman: Kirk was lucky that he pulled out that new move in the last minute...I don't think that Violette could have been beaten by anything else.

Kari: Well, we'll never know. Don't go away...up next? The EAW World Championship is on the line...Austin vs. Eighteen! Stay tuned!

*LAST COMMERCIAL BREAK! JUMP FOR JOY!*

When we get back from commercial, we find Michael Cole in the back with David Flair, who has the EAW Triple Crown Title on his waist.

Cole: David Flair, you have done it once again...you are once again the EAW Triple Crown Champion...though some people will question the way you...

David glares down at Cole. "Listen up...the match was Extreme Rules...ANYTHING and EVERYTHING would go. If Nova or anyone else in this company is upset about that...think of this: To be the Champion...you have to be willing to do ANYTHING! You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep or gain the belt. And that's exactly what I did. Next question?"

Before Cole can answer...the nWo Leader passes by...and both Cole and David blink in surprise. David glares. "Nevermind Cole...I have business to attend to..." he says...going off to chase the nWo Leader. Before he gets there...he gets attacked by ANOTHER guy dressed in the nWo attire...but when he comes out, his back is to the camera. All is seen is black hair. nWo Leader smacks the camera, making it short out.

We go back to the announcer's table, where Kari and Heyman are blinking in surprise.

Kari: Well..that...

Heyman: That is an example of the nWo marking their territory...they attacked the new Triple Crown Champion...and who KNOWS what they'll do next.

Kari: That's so true...but let's change the subject...it's time to go to the ring for our main event!

*KRAAAAAAAAAAASH!*

"Glass Shatters" by Disturbed kicks up, and the entire Tropicana Arena gives a rousing pop for the Texas Rattlesnake.

Capetta: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the EAW World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by his manager, Kelly Connelly-Flair...from Victoria, Texas, standing 6'2" tall and weighing in at 241 pounds..."STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN!

Heyman: I STILL don't see why people think this guy is so great. Nowadays he's just a shadow of his former self.

Kari: He's still a charismatic, if extremely business minded person. Austin coming out...Kelly in a female version of his attire...no nonsense walk by Austin...

Heyman: ...geez, you'd think after so many years of wrestling he would be able to get into the ring without catching his foot on the bottom rope...

Kari: It's a thing he does to prepare...as is this! Listen to the fans cheer as he greets them from the different turnbuckles!

Heyman: Bah. What I'm worried about more is Kelly. She not only had a tough match with Trish earlier tonight, but she also got involved in a little scuffle with Crysta...

Kari: She'll be fine as long as she doesn't try to get involved in this match. Austin now waiting for the EAW World Champion intently.

Heyman: I may despise the man, but I do have to admit that when the time comes for a match, he's ready for it. That's the ONLY thing good about him.

Kari: Austin's looking impatient...he's pacing right now...where the heck is Eighteen?

Heyman: Eighteen scared of Austin? The hell is up with that?

Kari: I think that Austin heard you...he's looking this way now...

"Shock" suddenly cues up... no dome-like explosion, which is odd... and what's even more odd... no Eighteen...!

Heyman: The sound guy goofed...Eighteen's a now show! That means the title is going to be stripped!

Kari: Well, this has to be a sad situation for her...wait a second...Austin coming outside the ring...and he's getting a mic!

"No-no-no-no-no..." he says as if Eighteen had actually come out to the ring and said she wasn't fighting. "Neither one of us have got time to play these games... What? Ah said we ain't got all night! What? Ah said GET OUT HERE!"

Kari: Austin wants Eighteen...he thinks that she's playing games with her!

Heyman: Either that, or Austin's so much a moron he can't figure out what's going on.

"Hey SHUT UP!" Apparently he picked up on Paul Heyman's wisecrack.

Kari: HAH! You better watch your tongue Heyman.

Heyman says something under his breath.

Austin glares to the ramp again... "C'mon, kid... Ah know you don't wanna--"

Eighteen comes out... dressed in the usual clothes she wears and carrying the title on her shoulder. Her hair's tied back in a ponytail... unusual for her... and she's wearing a mask over the lower half of her face. Her right arm is replaced with an exoskeletal frame of some kind. She stands at the rampway, looking to Steve... then seems to sigh as she turns to the fans who all cheer her on.

Kari: Oh my god...Eighteen...Eighteen looks like a wreck right now! Even Kelly seems to be shocked by what she's seeing.

Heyman: Someone messed Eighteen up badly...wonder who could have done that...

Austin stops mid-sentence and then nods, as if he understands. "Took on Cell, Ah take it?" he finally manages into the mic. "What's with the mask...?"

Heyman: I think it's an improvement.

Kari: SHHH!

Eighteen waits for a moment... then walks to the edge of the stage to get a mic from a stagehand. "... I'm hurt... my face is scarred... my real arm's in another building thousands of miles away... I got my ass kicked, Steve... I'm recovering... but I'm in no condition to fight..." she looks at her exoskeletal arm. "This arm Bulma attached to me isn't built for combat of any kind... I'm sorry, I can't... I can't fight tonight..."

Kari: ...wow...that's...that's a shocking announcement.

Heyman: So that means that Eighteen will have to be stripped of the EAW World Title!

Austin looks down at the floor and sighs. "Y'know... that belt, and all others like it that share a 'World Title' designator, they represent somethin' to Stone Cold Steve Austin that Ah can't get from anything else. Not money. Not beer. Only... only what's between Debra and Ah compares..." He smirks. "It says to the person that holds it, 'Ah'm the best there is... Ah worked mah ass off ta get this distinction, and until someone better comes along and knocks me off mah pedestal... so long as Ah carry THIS... Ah remain as such. The Best. The Strongest. Most Powerful."

Heyman: What's Austin getting to?

Kari: I don't know...let's see where this goes though.

He looks at Kelly. "Your husband, Kelly, even if he won that belt under the most severely heinous of circumstances, would still gain mah respect for havin' it. To get that belt... you do whatever it takes. Because one thing is for sure... History... The record books... all they note is that YOU HAVE THAT BELT. Unlike fans, unlike other wrestlers, unlike everyone that claims to be in charge... History remembers only who you won the belt from... not how..."

Heyman: SEE! So no one complain how Big Show won the title.

Kari: Or how he lost it?

Heyman: Blah.

He turns his glare to Eighteen. "Ah could have you come down to this ring right now, and most likely Lord Gokuo would strip you of that belt. Ah'm gonna ask him right now NOT TO DO THAT. Because Ah don't want to win it like that. Even if they strip you of it, and the winner of the tournament gets it... Ah wouldn't want it lak that either... So... What Ah'm sayin' is... Hold on ta that belt. Get yerself better... And expect to see me again... Because when you are in top form... You WILL see me, and Ah WILL win that belt from you..."

Heyman: SEE! Austin is a moron! WHY would he give up a chance to win the title?

Kari: He has more integrity than to win it without a match...that's why. Austin's music is playing now...and now motioning for Kelly to toss some beers out!

Heyman: HEY! I thought that this place wasn't allowed to serve alcohol! Austin is breaking the law by doing this!

Kari: Like he really cares...and he tosses one to Eighteen! Listen to the crowd cheer Austin's good judgement!

Heyman: Bah...Eighteen is happy with all this sentimental mush...why is she toasting Austin?

Kari: She respects him...there'll be another day for this battle, but for now...

Just then...the lights black out. After a bit...

NEW WORLD ORDER!

Kari: What in the hell? What do they have to do with this?

Heyman: I don't know, but I don't think that you want to get into their way...

Kari: The lights coming back on now...it's that damn nWo Leader! And he's got a lead pipe in hand...and smacks Eighteen right in the jaw with it!

Heyman: And look at that! Eighteen falls in a heap...she looks to be out cold by that!

Kari: Eighteen obviously not at her full strength...but Austin is! Lou Thesz Press on the nWo Leader as he enters the ring...punching away with curse words as he gets in there!

Heyman: How in the hell could he have gotten so ready for nWo Leader so quickly? I don't get it!

Kari: It doesn't matter, he's ready for this! He's got the nWo Leader onto his feet now...the kick, Leader's head on Austin's shoulder!...but what the hell is this?

Heyman: Someone has come into the ring, and is preventing the stunner! This guy turning Austin around...Inverted Atomic Drop! Who is this?

Kari: Oh my god...it's Bret Hart! Bret "The Hitman" Hart is fighting along side the nWo Leader! They're shaking hands...and now hugging in the middle of the ring!

Heyman: Well THIS is a surprising twist right here! Bret Hart and the nWo Leader now double teaming on Austin...pounding him down to the mat...

Kari: Bret Hart putting the Sharpshooter on Austin! And now the nWo Leader putting a Camel Clutch onto Austin at the same time! Look at Austin's face!

Heyman: HAH! Let's see how the snake takes this! If he doesn't give up or pass out, he may have a broken back before this is over!

Kari: But Austin is NOT giving up Paul! He's in severe pain right now!

Heyman: Look at Kelly trying to get that lead pipe...wait, nWo Leader sees her...he grabs the pipe before she does...and smacks Austin HARD into the head with it!

Kari: Why are there no referees stopping this? Austin and the Leader both letting go of their respective submissions...and the nWo Leader and Bret Hart both have Austin at their mercy.

Heyman Look at this, Kelly getting onto the apron to check on Austin, but Bret Hart tosses her into the ring right onto the back of her head! I don't think that she's conscious anymore!

Kari: Look at this now...the Leader handing Hart a can of black spraypaint...and now this sickening display...spray-painting nWo onto the backs of both Austin and Kelly...Eighteen is still down and out on the outside of the ring...

Heyman: And I think the Hitman notices this...he's going out of the ring right towards Eighteen with something in hand...YELLOW spraypaint!

Kari: Ugh...the nWo Leader turning Austin over now...spraying something onto Austin's chest as Bret Hart sprays a yellow streak up and down the back of Eighteen...

Heyman:...HAH! Look at what the nWo Leader sprayed on Austin's chest! "Send To Alcoholics Anonymous"! I love it!

Kari: Damn...the nWo have left a major message on EAW tonight...and now celebrating as their theme plays out over the speakers.

Heyman: This is an amazing sight right here. And I'm glad that they did it to Austin...he deserved it for badmouthing me...the new EAW Co-Commish!

Kari: Well, strange developments are happening now in EAW...I don't know what to make of them all, but what we have just seen is sickening...and now Hart and the nWo Leader getting out of dodge. We're out of time, for Commissioner Heyman, I'm Kari Gibson...see ya!

Before the camera fades out...this announcement is made..

The Preceeding Beat-Down has been paid for by the