"SIGN!" "SIGN!" "EVERYWHERE A SIGN!" and "NEW JACK RULES!!" Plus. "HAYABUSA 4-EVA!" "Robbed Van Dam."

Dogg: WELCOME EVERYONE...to the DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG HOUSE!!

Lilith: ARE WE GONNA KICK THIS SHIZNIT...DAH-GEE-STAAHL?!

Dogg: Oh, yer daaaaaaaamn right!! The "Road Dogg" Jessie James! Cute Ass Lilly Aensland...

Lilith: Your MAAAY-HEM COMMENTATORS!!

Dogg: Welcome, everybuddy...we're just 8 days away from All Hallow's Extreme, and the shiznit hits the fan here tonight...kicking this all off in just a moment--Ninja X vs. Kevin Tatum!!

"Down Poison" by 3 Door Down cues up...

"The following match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first: from Los, Angeles, California...he stands 6'1" and weighs in at 200 lbs. He's a member of Da Pac--Ninja X!!!"

Lilith: He's got a hot babe as a girlfriend, too!! Well, she isn't so hot now. Casts and bandages aren't too chic....*grumble*

Dogg: Well, those two are likely to get what's due to them tonight...but right now, Tatum is the one who has to deal with a pissed off X-man.

Ninja X runs down to the ring and slides inside.

"Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down cues up...

Lilith: Ironic they both use themes by the same band, no?

Dogg: Yeah, I'll say..but that doesn't mean they agree on anything else...

"and his opponent, he stands 6'6" and weighs in at 268 lbs...he's 1/3 of the Triple Ex Theatre...'Mr. Excitement' Kevin Tatum!!"

Tatum walks out onto the stage, but seems to be taking his time getting down to the ring, staring at X smugly.

Dogg: Well, no one has a higher opinion of Tatum than Tatum himself. And after fiascos by a booker who had that same name...the statement stands: in EAW, never trust a Tatum.

Mr. Excitement climbs inside the ring, not looking at all concerned about Ninja X.

*ding, ding*

Tatum locks up with Ninja X as the bell sounds...X sneaks in a kick and goes for a headlock...Tatum goes to suplex him over his back, but X lands in a split, then sweeps back up, knocking Tatum's legs out from under him. Tatum, angered, quickly gets up and goes for a double-leg takedown...X dodges, but Tatum then fakes an Enzui Giri, and nails a dropkick on Ninja X. X gets up, and is sent into the ropes...X springs off with a back elbow attempt--but Tatum ducks under, then grabs the legs of Ninja X. Catapult attempt--Ninja X lands throat-first across the top rope! Tatum jumps on the back of X, and chokes him further, then grabs him by the back of his head, and rams him into the top turnbuckle pad...then hooks the leg.

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ONE!--Kickout

Ninja X gets up...Tatum goes to set him up for a DDT--but Ninja X elbows himself free, then begins a spinning neckbreaker--hits it!! Tatum favors his neck, and Ninja X gets up quickly--somersault leg drop!! Gets up again..standing moonsault!! Cover onto Tatum--

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ONE!

Kickout!

Ninja X gets up to his feet...taunts Tatum...Tatum gets up--X hits some rapid-fire kicks across the abdomen, then Tatum doubles over...Ninja X then locks on an OCTOPUS STRETCH!!

Tatum stays in it, refusing to give up, but Ninja X pulls back with more pressure...before finally dropping down to his feet. He attempts a pump handle--but Tatum armdrags him over!!

Ninja X gets up to his feet, and Tatum grabs him by the throat--and tosses him into the nearby corner...he stomps him in the gut, then puts up a boot across his throat. X staggers out of the corner, and Tatum sets him up...SITDOWN POWERBOMB!!

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One!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

X gets up, shakes out the cobwebs, and counters a charging Tatum with a drop toe hold...then locks on an STF...Tatum fights to break it before X applies it properly. Ninja X then hits a deathlock, and turns it into an INVERTED STF!!

Tatum refuses to give, and Ninja X then bridges up and out of the hold...he gets up, and springs up on top of the top turnbuckle.

Tatum gets up, dazed--Ninja X off the top with a Sky Twister Press!! He gets the pinfall...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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NO!!!

Dogg: We're coming down to the wire, here...X and Tatum busting each other's asses, and I'm actually impressed for once with Tatum, who's been nothing but a lousy asshole most of the time--and still is--but giving it his all here.

Lilith: Well, he isn't one to endear himself to the fans...

Dogg: Indeed...there's another finger to the crowd.

Lilith: But they're returning it!! It's a salute!

Dogg: Tatum hoists up X...goes for suplex--hits it! Both of them down...Tatum drags Ninja X out to the outside...going for a chair?!

Lilith: Gee willickers...shock...surprise...disbelief!!

Dogg: Tatum tossing that chair into the ring, and going up onto the apron--Axehandle to the chest of Ninja X!!

Lilith: Yeowtch...and Ninja X doesn't even have the padding a female would have, so I could only imagine how that hurt..

Dogg: Tatum getting up onto the apron--but Ninja X getting up!! They tie up on the apron...Tatum trying to suplex Ninja X to the outside--but X hooking the ropes with his legs!! Stands on the first rope--SUPLEXES TATUM IN!!!

*clang!*

Dogg: And partly onto that chair, but the referee is going to allow it, but you know Tatum is looking to use that....Tatum going for the Lock Out....but Ninja X fighting it...Rear Naked Choke!! But Tatum still standing...and--FALLS BACKWARDS ONTO THE CHAIR!!!

Lilith: Is that a DQ?

Dogg: The referee is rather iffy about it...but X holding his back in pain....

Lilith: X getting up..and he--

Dogg: Tatum with that chair!! OOOOH!!....

Lilith: I don't think there is any doubt there...

Dogg: And Tatum BLATANTLY blasts Ninja X with that chair...

*ding, ding*

Lilith: Whoa...that's going to leave a sizable cranial indentation...

Dogg: Indeed...and Tatum still not satisfi--THAT'S EXCITEMENT!!! And Tatum not at all caring that he DQed himself...Ninja X is OUT...

Lilith: Poor guy...

"Kryptonite" begins to play again.

Dogg: Well, X won the battle, but doesn't look like the winner in that one. I'm sure that Tatum will get his in the end, though...and I'm HOPING we'll see Bitch Red and Bitch Blue get their's tonight...see you back after break!!

**Commercial Break**

"Take It" by the Misfits begins to play immediately after we come back from break.

Dogg: Welcome back, everybuddy! We got a grudge match coming up next, involving four sex-ay laadies. 2 furries...and 2 norms. Well, here come the "norms" now.

Lilith: Well, I gotta admit I'm excited. Not excited in the sense of "OH BOY OH BOY!!!! THE LINGERIE MATCH IS NEXT!!!" like I felt Sunday night...still, that match disappointed me. 30 bucks and NO bare ass?! No boobies running wild and free?! *sniff* IT'S SO UNFAIR!!!

From the entrance music, the crowd isn't sure how to react--but once they see its owners, they respond in kind...booing them heavily.

"The following match, scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit, is under tag team rules. Introducing first...supposedly from Los Angeles, California, at a combined weight of 261 lbs, Savvy and Frosti--DEADLY EXTREMITY!!

Lilith: It's always sad when two cuties go bad--that's assuming they were good in the first place. ^_^

Dogg: Which, we don't really know about...all we know is their alleged ties with the XPW and Rob Black.

Lilith: Yeah, I'm familiar with his work!

Dogg: I guessed you would be...

Savvy and Frosti get inside the ring....then "HT" cues up...

Dogg: That sound can only mean that one half of our furry team will be on her way to the ring..

Lilith: That or the EAW-Tron now shows anime. ^_^

"And their opponents...introducing first, from Los Angeles, California...she stands 5'6" and weighs in at 132 lbs. One half of Wildpack 2000, and a member of Red Tooth and Claw....Colley-chan Dogstar!!!"

Colley rushes down to the ring...

Dogg: Here is the hot-headed Colley-chan, and she has quite a fight on her hands--Savvy and Frosti not waiting for the bell, though...

"Wish" by Nine Inch Nails plays...

"And her partner, from the royal palace of the planet Salusia...she stands 6'6" and weighs in at 220 lbs--Lady Jasmine!!"

Lilith: It's a beautiful bevvy of babes in the ring--and a wet dream for Pepe LePew...I gotta root for the fuzzy wuzzies myself, though.

Dogg: Jasmine rushing down to the ring to aid her partner, who is fighting off these two girls formerly just known as "Red" and "Blue."

Lilith: Well, my hair's violet...but unlike me, I don't think that's their natural hair color--oh well, I hear they shave down there anyway. =\

Dogg: And how would YOU know?

Lilith: Oh, they just seem like the type...

Dogg: Well, backtada match at at hand...the referee gets Savvy outside, and it looks like Colley-chan and her will start this--*ding, ding*

Dogg: --off.

Frosti and Colley immediatly attack each other full-force with rights. Left by Frosti--Colley-chan ducks. Goes for an armbar...Frosti blocks..snapmares her over. Colley-chan fights up--Frosti goes for a sleeper--Colley-chan counters with a jawbreaker. Frosti holds her jaw as Colley-chan gets up to her feet, then sends her towards the ropes...Frosti leap frogs over Colley-chan, but gets nailed with a dropkick on the return!!

Colley-chan goes for the cover...

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ONE!

Kickout!!

Colley-chan pulls up Frosti, and goes for a suplex...Savvy gets in the ring and attacks Colley-chan from behind, causing her to release Frosti. Savvy hold Colley-chan, and Frosti wails away on her, as the referee attempts to break them apart. He eventually does, and Savvy goes back outside, but Frosti's already taken advantage, and lays in some kicks to the midsection, and sets up Colley-chan in the corner. Tag is made to Savvy, and they double-team her in the corner, stomping away at her midsection. Frosti goes out to the apron, and Savvy sends Colley-chan towards the far corner--by Colley-chan reverses...Savvy responds with a clothesline, though, stopping the reversal attempt. Savvy goes for the cover...

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One!

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TW--Kickout!

Savvy stomps away on the chest of Colley-chan (to the displeasure of Lilith), and blatantly chokes her. The referee orders her to break it up, which she does eventually. She goes to scoop slam Colley-chan, but Colley-chan slips behind, and hits a full nelson slam!! Shocked, Savvy gets up and is quickly put down with a side backbreaker!! Colley-chan makes a leaping tag to Lady Jasmine; Jasmine gets in and Colley-chan whips Savvy to her--POWERSLAM by Jasmine!!

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ONE!

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Tw--but Frosti makes the save...coming in illegally. Colley-chan and Frosti trade blows, with Colley-chan getting the upperhand...inverted atomic drop by Colley-chan!! That puts Frosti down, and Jasmine and Colley-chan hit Savvy with a double-team powerbomb. Frosti gets up, and Jasmine presses her overhead--dropping her neatly over the top rope to the floor!!

Colley-chan goes to her apron as Jasmine pulls up Savvy--snap suplex!! And a floatover--

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout by Savvy!

Frosti positions herself on the top rope, and as Jasmine turns around--she leaps off--Dragonra--but Jasmine catches her!! She's about to powerbomb her--but chopblock from Savvy!! Frosti then is able to complete the move!

The referee attempts to break it up the double-teaming--but Frosti kicks him hard in the midsection..

Dogg: And there she goes ag--OUCH!!

Lilith: THAT time was definitely not the "midsection." That was the nadsection.

Dogg: Colley-chan into the ring...but both members just assaulting her at the same time...but Jasmine shaking off that Dragonrana...now BOTH jumping her!!

Lilith: Well, you know one just isn't enough for Jasmine...well, you know what I MEANT...

Dogg: I really can't say with you...now they've got Jasmine tied up in the ropes...she's fighting--she might very well rip this ring apart!!

Lilith: I'll say...she's stronger than the coffee they served this morning in catering.

Dogg: Savvy now getting...a glass table?! Remind you of anyone...?

Lilith: Indeed it does....Frosti setting up Colley-chan...for some move they call the DMX...

Forfeit the game / Before somebody else
Takes you out of the frame / Puts your name to shame...
Cover up your face / You can't run the race
The pace is too fast / You just won't last

Dogg: Speak of the devil...

Lilith: Vincey-poo? WHERE?!

"Points of Authority" by Linkin Park cues up as Chainsaw appears from the crowd.

Dogg: Uh oh...and Savvy and Frosti look ready to Sid themselves.

Lilith: WHOO-HOOO!! KICKETH MUCHO ASS!!

Dogg: Chaynz in...CRIMSON WAVE on Frosti!!!

Buzzsaw then hits a new move--a Seated Crucifix drop to Vertebreaker. Kinda like the Kryptonite Krunch--to Savvy.

Dogg: The HELL was that?!

Lilith: Crimson Wave on SAVVY...AGAIN!!

Jasmine's had some difficulty with the ring ropes--but pulls the RINGPOSTS loose in a burst of anger...

Lilith: Uh oh...

Dogg: Savvy has been grabbed by the head by Jasmine...and is CLUELESS to where she is now...Colley-chan setting up Frosti now....POWERBOMB...ANOTHER....and...

Colley-chan then hoists her up and Lady Jasmine readies Savvy...

Dogg: THE INDISCRIMINATE JUSTICE *AND* THIRD IMPACT THROUGH THAT GLASS TABLE!!!

Lilith: They can dish it out...but can they TAKE it?

Dogg: Well, here's something they've certainly not dished out...Jasmine setting BOTH of them up in the corner!!

Lilith: This would be a win/lose situation...the "win" part is they get close to Colley-chan's sweet ass...the "lose" part is...

Dogg: SKUNKFACE!!! SKUNKFACE!!

Lilith: ...I guess they better cancel any dates they've had lined up for around the next 3 weeks. Unless one of them is with that noseless midget Eighteen dreams about.

Dogg: *gag* Oh man...that was a rather POTENT spray...and a rather unflattering debut for this tag team.

Lilith: Whew...I'm tellin' ya...Visc's armpits can't even compare to this...

Dogg: Well...we'll have to clean up a bit here...and replace that ringpost--see you after break, folks!!

**Commercial Break**

"Last Resort" cues up as Test, along with his ladies and the Extreme Title around his shoulder, makes his way to the ring. He grabs the mic.

"You know...for the past few months, I've been wrestling in the EAW. I've been your Extreme champion. And every match I've fought, every single one, I've done it for the people. The same people who loves and appreciates what we do. I have never been defeated in an Extreme Title match. I know that you're thinking about my last one, but I'm not counting that because 1) He only held the title for only a few hours, and 2) He had to have his friends help him win the title in the first place.

"This is where I'm getting at. I've been thinking about this for a while now and...I plan on retiring from the EAW. But before I do, I like to make a special challenge to a special someone in the back. And no, it sure as hell ain't Crash.

"You see, besides Elroy, I've beaten everyone I've faced in an Extreme Rules match. In fact, who could forget the first 'Cell to Hell' match against Raven? That was an Holy Sh*t moment right there. I've beaten everyone I've faced in an Extreme match...except for one person. That's why on the next show immediately after All Hallow's Extreme, Mike Whitewind, MAIKU, or whatever you're calling yourself these days, I'm challenging you to an Extreme title match. But this is going to be, for first time on public brodcast, a 'Cell to Hell' match. MAIKU, we all know that, despite you're little jobberlous reputation, you're the only one that I didn't beat. So if you have the guts, you'll accept.

Test drops the mic as "Last Resort" cues up! He and his ladies makes his way to the back.

**Commercial Break**

"Awake" by Godsmack cues up as we just come back from break..

Dogg: It's me, it's me! It's the D-O-Double G!! And Kair-EE here looking to take the title of the Peep's!!

Lilith: I like Kairi...but..but...WHY MUST I CHOOSE?!?! Lyger's gonna face Mikey!! Up next!! And...Mikey's sorta my fave going into this..heck, we're friends. ^_^

Dogg: And ONLY that...

Lilith: Naw, I'd never steal Oseiko's hubby...but if they invited me for a threesome--

Dogg: Okay, okay...enuffwitdafreakiness!

"The following match up is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit, and is for the EAW People's Championship!! Introducing first, from Kyoto, Japan. He stands 5'11" and weighs in at 235 lbs....Kairi Lyger!!!

Dogg: Very impressive wrestler...great guy...he and Mikey weigh the same, but Mike's got a couple inches on him.

Lilith: Really now? I can't say for sure because I've never gotten a good look...

Dogg: What? Mikey's 6'2"!!

Lilith: OHHHHHhhh...silly me. Yeah, Kairi's put on a few pounds. Maybe he's bulked up...maybe he just has less rice and more pizza. ^_^

Dogg: Man, try to be SERIOUS once in a while...

Kairi gets inside the ring, looking rather unenthused...or maybe just VERY focused.

"There's a Fire in the House" by Steve Vai cues up, as "Code Red" makes his way out to his elaborate entrance.

"And his opponent...from Mars, Pennsylvania...he stands 6'2" and weighs in at 235 lbs...he's the EAW People's Champion--'Code Red' Micheal Connelly!!"

Connelly rushes the ring and hands his EAW People's Title to the referee...

*ding, ding*

Connelly and Lyger circle each other briefly...Connelly goes for an armwringer, then drops down with a scissored armbar. Kairi rolls over and breaks himself free, then pulls up Connelly, and puts on a hammerlock. Michael attempts a couple back elbows--then a clothesline as he breaks free--Kairi ducks, and hits an inverted atomic drop. Connelly then is about to locked into a Side Russian Leg Sweep...blocks it--but Kairi gets it on the second attempt.

Connelly gets up, but falls victim to a headbutt by Kairi, then is whipped to the ropes--Connelly grabs the ropes and avoids a dropkick from Kairi, then gets onto the apron, and attempts one of his own--KAIRI avoids it, and the two quickly kippup. Connelly rushes Kairi, but is put into a headlock...Kairi goes for a bulldog--Connelly shoves him into the ropes--then rolls him up for a pinfall!

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ONE!

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Kickout!

Kairi gets up Connelly quickly rolls up to his feet...he arm drags him over...goes for--Kairi kicks his legs out from under him!! Connelly up--back kick to the chest!! And Kairi drops a short leg drop...

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ONE!

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Kickout!!

Connelly gets his shoulder up, and Kairi pulls him up by the shoulders, then hooks his head in a reverse DDT position...then reverse suplexes him. Connelly gets up to both knees, but Kairi is up quickly, and charges and sunset flips Connelly!!

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ONE!

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TWO!--and no!

Kairi attempts to continue his offense, but Connelly headbutts him to the midsection, then goes for a T-Bone Suplex--Kairi elbows him off then goes for Tiger Leg Sweep--Michael shoves him down onto his face, then leaps over and drops an elbow onto the back of his head!! Connelly pulls up Kairi, then sends him to the ropes...Kairi grabs the rope, flips up, and grabs Michael in a headscissors--Connelly grabs hold, and pulls him off, however, then reverses and hits a SAMOAN DROP!!

Connelly lays back for a cover!!

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ONE

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Tw--NO!! Shoulder up by Kairi!!

Connelly gets up, and heads back out onto the apron...Kairi slowly gets up, and Connelly lets loose with the Connelly Comet!!--Kairi is close enough to stop it, and drop Connelly onto the top rope--he then falls out to the floor.

Kairi hits the far ropes, then as Connelly gets up...he hits AIR LYGER on Connelly on the outside!!

Kairi gets up, and capitalizes with a snap suplex on Connelly. Connelly favors his back as he slowly gets up...Kairi gets up and hits a neckbreaker on Connelly, then rolls him into the ring.

Connelly pulls himself up with the help of the ropes, and Kairi rolls inside the ring to find Connelly recovering, and he kicks Kairi in the midsection as he regains his balance. Kairi sends Connelly to the ropes, and back body drops him on the return.

Connelly is pulled up by Kairi--JAWBREAKER stops Kairi's momentum...crescent kick by Connelly...back kick...he sends Kairi to the ropes...HIGH SPINNING HEEL KICK!! Kairi gets up...they lock up...Connelly goes for a suplex...Kairi reverses!! Connelly lands behind Kairi--CRIMSON TIDE by Connelly!! Connelly hooks the leg!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

Kickout!!

Connelly pulls up Kairi, and goes for a suplex...blocked by Kairi...again...Connelly with a knee to the midsection...goes to scoop up Kairi--REVERSED into a small package!!

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout!!

Kairi springs up, and as Connelly gets up, Kairi dropkicks him in the knees..then locks on the STF!!

Connelly fights the hold as best he can...and refuses to give it up...and slooowly makes it to the ropes!!

Kairi gets up, and fires the People's Champion to the corner...Connelly gets the boot up to catch the charging Kairi, and goes up top...he jumps off for a swinging DDT--but Kairi catches him mid-air--SLAMS him with modified Lygerbomb!!

Connelly rolls out to the outside...

Dogg: And now...not...MAX CONNELLY!?

Max rushes into the ring, and picking his dazed counterpart up--he drops him down in a perfectly-executed Condition Red, then rolls him into the ring.

Lilith: .....SONNUVAB*TCH!!!

Dogg: Yow....well, it appears that the referee did *not* see that...and this could very well cost Connelly the--Lyger up!! He's dazed, but still in the running here...Connelly may be almost completely out, here. He pulls Connelly to his feet....Connelly to fight free--but Kairi has him up...!!!!....LYGERSPIKE!! Floats over....

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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THREE!!!!!

Lilith: Grrrr...this sucks...this REALLY sucks...I mean, Kairi's certainly deserving...but to win it like *THAT*--and it's all Max's fault!!

Dogg: Well, indirectly, it may be Michael's for goading him like this...but that doesn't change the fact that...Kairi Lyger is the new EAW People's Champion!!

"The winner of this match, and NEEEEEEEEEEW EAW People's Champion....Kairi Lyger!"

"Awake" by Godsmack begins to play...

Dogg: Well, Mikey's still out colder than a frozen mackeral, but when he wakes up...I'm sure he's going to be angry...VERY angry...

Lilith: Yeah, angry enough to almost use a REAL cuss word. ^_^

Dogg: Well, another Lyger left to make an appearance tonight--JYUSHIN Lyger will face MAIKU up next in our main event!

Lilith: It's suretabeaslobbaknocker!! And stuff...cuz this ain't BALLET!!

Dogg: Lilith...please...I left the WWF a while ago, and I *LIKED* not hearing Jim Ross.

Lilith: Well, you didn't *leave* you were *fired*.

Dogg: Details...details...oh well...COME BACK MY DAWGS, after the corporate sponsorships peddle their products!!

**Commercial Break**

***

LUGZ.
THEY MAKE OUR CAT-GIRLS HYPER.

***

Dogg: I swear they give that girl too much sugar back home.

Lilith: Aww, that's just her nature! She's cute! She's cuddly! She's Ariel! ^_^

Dogg: ... You wanna do her.

Lilith: o_O; Eek! Jesse Jammes Armstrong! I may be a perverted succubus who's into every fetish known to man but I'm not THAT perverted! Besides, I can wait eight more years. I'm immortal, I'm patient. ^_^

Dogg: Eeeeeyah. =/

"Rise" suddenly cues up!

Dogg: Whoa!! This here's unexpected! We're getting a visit from the EAW Champ herself!

Lilith: WWH000T!! ^_^

Indeed, Blink comes out to the stage, wearing blue jeans cut-offs, sandals, a leather jacket and an Xavier Institute jersery underneath; slung over her shoulder is the EAW World title. The fans go nuts as she looks to the fans smiling as she suddenly teleports to the announcers' position with a *BLINK!*.

Dogg: and the Purple Girl's gonna be joinin' us, looks like! Hey, welcome to the show, Blink!

Blink puts on her headphones, looking to Road Dogg and Lilith with a smile.

Blink: Heeyy, Road Dogg, Lilith! Glad to be here! Glad to be anywhere after what I had to go through last night!

Lilith: Yeah, no kidding! Is Crysta gonna be okay?

Blink: Well, she's stil trying to get over the loss of her father, but I hope that'll pass in time... she's a really good girl and I'm pretty proud to have her as a friend. Right now, I want to concentrate on this match here.. I faced Lyger already and I'll be facing MAIKU next week... call this scouting, if you want. But I'll be very interested in seeing just how this flatscan psycho operates.

"Elite" cues up suddenly and out come the black-clad Jyushin Lyger, looking to the crowd as the half cheer and half boo. Ignoring them mostly, the Japanese legend makes his way down the aisle.

Dogg: And here comes the man himself! This here's our main event, folks! That bouncin' kitten-girl seen earlier was our last commercial break so sit back and get a gander at this match comin' up!

Lilith: Hmmm, betcha Jyushin knows what happened to Hayabusa back home in the LotRS. Think he cares?

Dogg: Gal, far as I know Lyger cares about only one thing in life now and that's himself! He's arrogant and conceited but right now he's most likely gonna be the odds-on favorite to win this match against MAIKU tonight!

Blink: Yeah... I just wanna say my heart goes out to Hayabusa and all his friends and family and fans. We take a lot of high-risks when we go out and perform in the ring... the Lionsault happens to be one of the moves I do and just knowing I could end up like the man... I mean... geez, he's a veteran in this sport and I'm pretty much starting out! It kinda boggles the mind, y'know? Still... get well soon, Hayabusa. We're all pullin' for ya.

"Shadow Explosion" cues up next, and out walks MAIKU... dressed in red and white pants not unlike Lyger's tights design, and facepaint looking very much like Lyger's mask design!

Lilith: Oooooo...! Looks like Maiki's makin' a statement, here!

Dogg: And Lyger's not too pleased as punch about it! Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but in this case, Lyger isn't flattered at all!

Lilith: And Maiki may end up flatTENNED!

Blink: Here's hopin'.

Dogg: MAIKU runs into the ring and LYGER IMMEDIATELY ATTACKS HIM!! Referee Nick Patrick calls for the bell! Let's get this party START-TED!!

Dogg: Lyger with a flurry of shoteis... wait, MAIKU blocks and throws a huge shotei of his own!! Lyger's knocked back! And... WHOA, KOPPOU KICK ON LYGER BY MAIKU?!

Lilith: Looks like the look isn't the only thing MAIKU's gonna be stealin' tonight...!

Blink: And here I was hoping for a copy of the classic Lyger/Muta match of old.

Dogg: Lyger's up and looking really pissed off now... Lyger charges in towards MAIKU and-- DUCKS A CLOTHESLINE! DROPKICK RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF MAIKU'S HEAD!! Straddle MAIKU and THERE'S THE SHOW OF AUTHORITY RIGHT THERE! AND-- WAIT, MAIKU ROLLS OVER ON TOP OF LYGER! AND HE DELIVERS A SHOW OF AUTHORITY OF HIS OWN!!!

Lilith: Wow!! Bitchslap Central is right here in the EAW!!

Dogg: Lyger pushes MAIKU OFF and-- KOPPOU KICK RIGHT SMACK DOWN INTO MAIKU'S SKULL! Cover! One! T--NO, MAIKU kicks out! MAIKU rolls over to his knees... Lyger advances and-- MAIKU WITH A KICK TO LYGER'S GUT! And-- WHOA!! LYGERBOMB BY MAIKU?!! COVER! ONE! TWO! NO! LYGER KICKS OUT! He's really ticked off now! AND-- DROPKICK TO MAIKU'S HEAD BEFORE HE GETS THE CHANCE TO MOVE! Lyger grabs the downed MAIKU... sets up... AND THERE'S THE LYGERBOMB, DONE BY THE MAN HIMSELF! PIN! ONE! TWO! NO, just a two count!

Blink: MAIKU may be sick in the head but he's no slouch in the ring, I'll give him that. I'll have my work cut out for myself when we tangle next week, no doubt.

Dogg: Lyger gets MAIKU up... and... FISHERMAN'S BUSTER!!! Lyger gets up... climbing the top rope!! Wait, MAIKU's back up! He beats Lyger on the top... and... TOP ROPE FISHERMAN'S BUSTER!!!! WOW!!! MAIKU then... OHH, FOLLOWS HIM DOWN WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! COVER! ONE! TWO! TH--NO!! Ohhh! How humiliating would it be to get beat with your own move!

Blink: Not too humiliating if you happen to be Raven and your finisher is a DDT, but still, comparing a DDT to a shooting star press is like comparing a BB gun to a Gatling gun.

Dogg: MAIKU gets Lyger up... WAKAMOTO SPECIAL '78!!

Blink: Ooooo, MAIKU did one of his own moves. The mind boggles.

Dogg: MAIKU gets Lyger up... looks like... WAIT A SEC--!! LYGER COUNTERS! MAIKU WAS ABOUT TO DO THE BEAST GOD AVALANCHE BUT LYGER COUNTERS WITH A FISHERMAN'S BUSTER!! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!!

1 . . . . . 2 . . . . . 3 . . . . . 4 . . . . . Dogg: LYGER GETS AN ARM OVER MAIKU! FOR THE WIN! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!! MAIKU GETS A SHOULDER UP!!!

Lilith: Geez!! o_O What does it take to take this guy down?!

Blink: Odds are? One of Ryokami's flaming barbed-wired wrapped chairs to the head. I'll get my chance to clock him with one next week.

Dogg: Both men are up... and tired as heck! Shotei by Lyger! MAIKU with one! LYGER! MAIKU! LYGER! MAIKU! LYGER! LYGER! LYGER! LYGER!!! AND... DDT BY LYGER!!!

Lilith: W00T!! ^_^

Blink: Damn right, w00t! Lyger's taking it to that flatscan and that's what I like to see!

Dogg: Lyger gets MAIKU up... Beast God Avalanche! HE'S UP!! HE'S-- COUNTERED IT!! FLIPPING BEHIND LYGER! KICK TO THE BACK! AND-- AGH!!!

Lilith: EEK!!! THAT LOOKED LIKE A REVERSE BEAST GOD AVALANCHE!!!

Blink: Damn effective, too! Lyger's down! And it doesn't look like MAIKU's done yet!

Dogg: You're damned right! MAIKU picks Lyger up and... RUNNING LYGER BOMB!!

Blink: This ain't right...

Dogg: ONE! TWO! THREE!! Damn!!

Lilith: MAIKU just beat Lyger! With his own moves!

Blink: Dammit. >=/

Winner: MAIKU

Blink: Well, I gotta give it to MAIKU, he showed me something here... like it or not, he's gonna give me a run for my money next week, but I'll be damned if he'll win! Uh, oh...

Dogg: MAIKU's getting in your face here, Blink!

Blink stands up, facing MAIKU as she places her hands on her hips.

Blink: Mm, hm... you really think so, MAIKU? Yeah, I saw you kick Lyger's ass... y'know what? You wanna go at it? Fine! *BLINK!*

Dogg: Blink 'ports behind MAIKU! AND-- WHOA!! MAIKU WAS READY!!! RED MIST INTO BLINK'S FACE!!! AND-- MAIKU'S GOT BLINK AND-- WHOA!!! WAIT-- LILITH, LOOK OUT!!!

MAIKU jumping powerbombs the downed Blink right into the announcers' table, demolishing it completely! MAIKU smiles deviously as he grabs Blink and throws her into the ring, snatching the EAW Title as well. He helps Blink up... steps back and throws the title at Blink, and kicks it right into her face!! Blink drops like a shot, busted wide open as MAIKU rolls out of the ring, leaving it and walking away. But he stops half-way... he glances back at the ring... then returns! He reaches under the ring... and pulls out a barbed-wired wrapped glass table!! He slides it into the ring, then pulls out a gasoline container! He sets the table up, douses it with gasoline, then sets it ablaze!!

Dogg: We back on? Hello?

Lilith: I hear ya... geez, MAIKU is... what the hell is he gonna... aww, crap!! CRAP!!

Dogg: NO!!! NO, MAIKU!! YOU'LL KILL HER!!! NOOO!!!

With a sick *KRRAASSHH!!!* MAIKU does a top-rope Ultra Nova and sends Blink into the burning barbed wire wrapped glass table!!! MAIKU quickly turns around and looks down at the badly injured Blink. He picks up a mic from the outside and whispers...

MAIKU: Blink... I love you...

"Great Muta Kyosokyoku (Winner Version)" cues up as he drops the mic and rolls out of the ring as the EMTs rush in with a stretcher and a fire extinguisher, putting the fire around and on Blink out. MAIKU smiles evilly as he walks away backwards, eyes transfixed on the lacerated, lightly burned Blink as he leaves.

Dogg: My... my God!! What a... what a sick... a sick son of a bitch!!!

Lilith: Geez!! Blink! Clarice, I--

Lilith pulls off her headset and rushes into the ring, helping the EMTs get Blink out of the ring.

Dogg: MAIKU has sent one hell of a message tonight!! Is this a precursor to All Hallow's Extreme next week?! Is Blink ready to fight him in a Hell's Asylum?! Is she even gonna MAKE IT for A.H.E.?!! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NOW?!!