|
|
previous mayhem shows :: main page |
Your Hosts are Megan Eko and Paul Heyman! The Jam-packed Tokyo Dome erupts in cheers as the salvo of fireworks goes off to open up this week's edition of Mayhem. The crowd is filled with signs, however, almost all of them are in Japanese, so the majority of the American crowd would not be able to read them. Megan: We are live here in Tokyo and we are live for another edition of Mayhem! I'm Megan Eko, here along side Paul Heyman… Heyman: And before I forget…this edition is brought to you by Squaresoft and Disney's Co-Effort Kingdom Hearts! You NEVER know who you'll meet next! Megan: …you got paid to say that, didn't you? Heyman: Yeah I did! Oh…and another thing…Megan, I have found love right here in EAW! Megan: Heyman…I already have someone. Heyman: No no, not you Megan. I have found the love of the EAW's own female commish…Morrigan Aensland! Megan: …you're joking, right? Heyman: Nope! I'm VERY serious about that! Megan: Ugh…well, moving from that note…let's start off the show!Come....Kill.... Color Me Blood Red! The jam-packed Tokyo crowd erupts in cheers as they see who is the person to come out to this theme. Megan: Take a look at this…Akiko coming out to the ring, and with a brand new theme and…a mix of Pogo-chan and her normal self it seems. Heyman: She's trying to channel the true spirit of extreme, it seems. However, we shall soon see how close she is to getting that in this match….against that pseudo-Extreme Champion Test. Megan: Akiko sliding into the ring now, and take a look at this! Breathing out fire breath while standing on the turnbuckles! Heyman: When did she decide to steal ideas from Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat? Megan: Cute Heyman. Just don't let her hear you say that…unless you LIKE getting decimated. Heyman:…I'll pass on that. Megan: Thought you would. Akiko in the ring now…and the crowd chanting Akiko's name. They love her hear in Japan. Heyman: Eh, she's less Japanese than most people here are. Her sister had potential though when she started off. Megan: Concentrate on the matter at hand, Paul. Akiko enjoying the chants…and waiting…. "Test" by Ministry starts to play next…and the cheers from the crowd start to die down a tiny bit as Test makes his way to the ring. Megan: And here comes the current Extreme champion himself, ready for his re-match against Akiko, which was ruined before by Frosti. Heyman: Hey, it was Akiko's fault for disparaging Frosti like she did. Megan: How did I KNOW that you would take Frosti's side in this? Heyman: Because her side is right? Megan: Whatever. Test getting into the ring now, and the stare-down like it was this past Riot Rulz occurring once again. Heyman: That reminds me, I have to talk to Morrigan again sometime about all these rematches… Megan: Not now Paul. The bell has rung, and this Extreme Title match is ready to start. Akiko Nakano vs. Test (c) Heyman: Let's see if these two can TRULY live out what being extreme means, or if they're just pretenders. Megan: Akiko and Test getting right in each other's faces right now, showing that neither one of them is going to back down one bit in this match. Heyman: So they're blabbing each other…START FIGHTING ALREADY! Megan: Test and Akiko ready to oblige…Test with a punch attempt, and Akiko kicking the hand of the tall Canadian away….and another kick to Test's temple! Heyman: NOW we're starting to get somewhere. Akiko starting to kick away at the body of Test now, and jump kicks him right in the mouth! Look at him roll out of the ring! Megan: A defensive move by Test, but one he probably hopes to turn into an offensive move. Test reaching under the ring now…and grabs a steel chair…and a few garbage cans. Heyman: Well, it may not be up to ECW standards…but it's a start. Akiko sliding out of the ring now, and gets grabbed by Test…who scoops her up…and a HARD slam against the ring apron! Megan: Test utilizing his strength advantage onto Akiko now…setting her up for a powerslam onto the steps…but Akiko slips behind him…and falling reverse DDT onto the larger adversary onto the floor! Heyman: Now Akiko starting to show a bit more potential for what Extreme truly is about. Akiko grabbing one of those trashcans… and blasts Test in the back of the head with it! Megan: Akiko with the cover now. One . . TWO…kickout. Heyman: An early cover…but apparently Akiko is feeling confident enough that she is going to win. Megan: Akiko getting Test back up to his feet…and it seems she is going to introduce him face to face with the ring post…but Test blocks with his boot, and slams AKIKO'S face into the post. Heyman: Reconstructive facial surgery will be needed for young Miss Nakano post match…and Test now seems fully ready to go further into the extreme-side of things. Megan: Test taking those ring steps…and placing Akiko's head between them…don't tell me he's gonna do what I think… Heyman: Test STOMPING on the ringsteps! And Akiko's head has got to be ringing now. Megan: Test pulling Akiko out now, and going for the cover. One . . TWO…and a kickout. Heyman: For someone that is seriously out-classed, Akiko is showing a lot of guts out there, kicking out of a pinfall attempt where most would just give… Megan: But Akiko's more determined that most people. And…it seems that she's getting charged off of the pain now. Heyman: YES! Psychotic Masochistic Asian Babes! Gokuo must be having an orgasm right now! Megan:…that's, an image I didn't need. Test trying to get Akiko back up to further pummel…OUCH! Akiko grabbing her sickle from under the ring…and just slices at Test's leg! Heyman: WHOO! Akiko getting JAPANESE DEATHMATCH EXTREME, BIYOTCH! Megan: Akiko's got a sick look in her eyes now…I think that she is almost to full Pogo-Chan mode now…she's going back in to attack Test once again…but Test managing to get a big boot up to Akiko's face right away. Heyman: Damn…and just when things were getting interesting…now it's just going to be another Test match. Megan: Come on, this version of him isn't THAT bad. Test now sizing up Akiko…and he sees that sickle of hers…and grabs it in his hands. Test now…SLICES it right across the back of Akiko. Heyman: Wow...Test FINALLY showing some potential again! Test now grabbing Akiko by the back of her neck…and puts her feet in the ropes…Akiko is trapped! Megan: Test taking the steel chair…and taking a bunch of easy chair shots to Akiko's face and body! Look at the ferocity of those chair shots… Heyman: Test is showing that he is nobody to take lightly in the Extreme department…look how he is pounding away at Akiko's face with that chair! Megan: Test FINALLY getting Akiko out of the ropes now, and goes for a cover. One . . TWO . . THREE…NO! Heyman: Akiko BARELY managing to shoot a shoulder up in this match…and Test seems the most surprised out of everyone who saw that. Megan: Test now rolling Akiko back into the ring, and he looks ready to end the match for good now. Akiko getting up to her feet now…and Test moving in…Akiko dropkicking him back…and now he has his arms stuck in the ropes! Heyman: And you just KNOW this happy little psycho will take FULL advantage of the situation…she's going out of the ring…and grabbing some lighter fluid! Megan: Uh oh…I fear the worst for Test. Akiko pouring that fluid all over Test…Test trying to fight his way out of this…but it's too late! Akiko tossing a match right on Test's body, and setting it ablaze! Heyman: YES! This is better than when Cactus Jack set Terry Funk ablaze back in the old ECW days! I love this! Megan: Test FINALLY getting out of the ropes now…trying to roll the flames out…finally does as he gets back to his feet… Heyman: DIVINE WIND KICK by Akiko! She just blasted Test right in his buckteeth! Megan: Akiko going for the cover now… One . . TWO . . Heyman: THREE! NEW CHAMPION! Megan: And the crowd has erupted in cheers…as Akiko has become the NEW EAW Extreme champion…even if she almost ended Test's career to get there. Heyman: Oh don't worry about that…that's what Aerith is for, remember. And that reminds me…this portion of EAW is brought to you by… Megan: You did that earlier! Heyman:…oh yeah, right. Megan: *sigh* Folks, we'll be right back. *THIS IS A COMMERCIAL BREAK! AVERT YOUR EYES FOR YOUR SANITY'S SAKE!* [NOTE: This next match will be summarized, as it's an emergency. Sorry.] "Nobodies" is playing when we get back from commercials…and out from the entryway come the Girls of Goth, ready to compete. They pose for the crowd as they get into the ring. "Bombshell" by Powerman 5000 starts to play as Glenda Jacobs makes her way out…then stops…"Bombshell" fading out to "Live and Learn" as Sonnette makes her way to the ring next. The two get into the ring together and get ready for the match. Girls of Goth vs. Glenda "Unibomb" Jacobs and Sonnette The match starts off with Sin and Sonic working against each other, the former EAW Triple Crown Champion showing the former EAW World Champion she's not a slouch…but eventually, Sonnette's experience edge takes over, and she works away on Sin. A few quick tags by Sonnette and Glenda are made, with them getting attacks in on Sin, before Sin manages to hit a quick facebuster on Glenda and make the tag to her sister. When Shade gets back in the ring, the tide starts to turn back into the favor of the Girls of Goth. They start to use their double-team tactics…and some brainy moves as they use Glenda's size against her…using her momentum to attack her. The match starts to go back and forth between the GoG having the advantage and Sonnette and Glenda having the advantage. The match has many pinfall attempts from both teams, but in the end, an attempted Hurricanrana by Shade leads to the G-Bomb/Sonic Bomb combo talked about…and the win for Sonnette and Glenda. *ANOTHER COMMERCIAL! INSANITY FOR SURE!* *ding, ding, ding*... Megan: ...Mayhem back on the air, and up next we'll be seeing a TAG TEAM TITLE contest... Paul: And hopefully Rash gets another title, because the brevity of his Triple Crown reign was a shame...and Frosti can once again be one-half of the tag team champions! "Will Be Bleed" by Sevendust hits. Megan: A makeshift team assembled by Donnie B to take advantage of Deadly Extremity's rematch clause...although the number one contenders are ACTUALLY Sonic and Glenda. Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit, and is for the EAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Introducing first, the challengers...they are members of Generation NEXT...at a combined weight of four hundred, one, and three quarter pounds...Rash and Frosti!!As Rash and Frosti makes their way to the ring to a mixed reaction and a few "Slut" chants directly at Frosti. Rash actually chuckles abit at the chanting as Frosti is about to deck a fan, but Rash holds her back. Megan: Frosti a rather...well...naturally angry woman. As natural as she is, that is. Paul: I'm surprised at you, Megan...try to remain partial. And considering the genes she came from, she's PHENOMENOL! Megan: Right, Mr. Impartiality... As they get into the ring, "Freedom Fighter" by Creed plays, and the fans' boos quickly turn to cheers... Capetta: And their opponents...from Pittsburgh, PA and weighing in at a combined 330 pounds...they are the defending EAW Tag Team Champions...Kirk Angel and Erica Angel, the AMERICAN ANGELS!! The Angels step out onto the stage as red, white, and blue fireworks go off behind them, then they walk down towards the ring, carefully stepping through the ropes as they eye their challengers. Megan: Surprisingly, both sets of champs and challengers have actually had little experience teaming up together. Rash and Frosti's first time out here, and Erica and Kirk never teamed together before joining the EAW...however, they've quickly made an impact. Yet, Rash and Frosti have to counter a team of brother and sister... Paul: Yeah...and those two seem kinda creepy..in a *Hardley* kinda way. Megan: Spare us, Paul. You're hardly one to call anybody creepy. =P Paul: HEY! *ding, ding* Rash and Frosti vs. American Angels (c) Megan: Erica and Frosti starting off for their teams...tentative here--and Frosti AGGRESSIVELY locking up with Erica--kick across the midsection--ribs--whipped now. Erica blocks and reverses into an arm wringer--swings over--kick into the back of the head and turned into a scissored arm bar! Paul: Frosti in trouble here--up, and LEGDROP causes her to release the hold! Quick thinking there, and quickly tagging in Rash! Megan: Rash the obvious powerhouse of the team, but as Frosti pointed out, may be losing a little of the speed that makes him such a standout. Paul: Yeah, he certainly doesn't want to become a HOSS, BAH GAHD! Rash with pairs of elbows on Erica, and now driving the elbow into the hip joint as he wrenches the leg. Megan: Pulling up Erica, keeping her vulnerable, and into the corner now. Boot up under the throat, choking Erica, and a BIG chop by Rash! Knees into the midsection, and whipping--Erica counters!--Sneakthrough-- . . . ONE!--Kickout! And catching Rash offguard--arm drag by Erica! Arm wrench, and a hook kick by Erica staggers Rash. Tag to Kirk, and a DOUBLE TEAM OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY by the Angels!! Dropkick to the back of the head by Kirk! Cover-- . . . ONE! . ..Kickout! Paul: And Kirk picking up Rash, and locking on the front facelock. Vertical suplex, and Kirk mounting Rash and wrenching back on the neck. Rash powering up, Kirk with right hands on top of the head--RASH falling backwards and drops Kirk onto the mat!! Rash up, and wrenching the neck while locking the arm--modified pump handle--tossed backwards and onto his face!! Rash covering-- . . . ONE! . Kickout! Paul: Rash choking Angel--slamming the back of his head into the mat repeatedly. HARD SLAP and taunting Angel now! Dragging him near the corner...STANDING ON THE THROAT now! Megan: Rash with all his weight on the neck of Angel, and tags in Frosti...Symbiotic Claw locked onto Kirk...Frosti grabbing him by the throat, and a DOUBLE TEAM CHOKESLAM on Kirk! Frosti covering Kirk-- . . . ONE! . . . Tw--ooh, kickout! Paul: Rash back out to the outside, and Frosti driving Kirk back to the right, and rapid fire chops and punches by her. BLATANT CHOKE! And Frosti biting him on the forehead! Hey, who does she think she is? Hulk Hogan? Megan: Frosti backing off and--KIRK COMING TO LIFE! Tossing Frosti into the corner--right hands by Kirk!! Hard whip to the diagonal corner--hits it back first--SIDE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX by Kirk! . . . ONE! . . . TW--Kickout! Paul: Kirk with knee lifts, and now a double underhook--BUTTERFLY SUPLEX by the Olympic Tag Team Champion! And with a CHEAP SHOT to Rash now! Megan: Rash coming in as Kirk DDTS Frosti, but the referee forcing him back out. Leisurely cover by Kirk... . . . ONE! . . . TWO! No, kickout by Frosti. Paul: And Frosti picked up by Kirk and whipped into the corner--Kirk hitting the near ropes--ELBOW to the back of the head by Rash! And Frosti with-- Paul: The GOOOORE!! GOOOOORE!!! GOOOOOOOOORE!!! Megan: Yes...I'm afraid so. =P Paul: Frosti recovering...going up to the top rope now...high risk--FLIPPING NECKBREAKER catches Kirk as he gets up! Cover by Frosti! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . ...Kickout! Megan: Close call by Kirk, who needs to make a cover...tag made by Frosti, and the two pummel Kirk in the corner, Rash with another boot up under the throat. And Kirk desperately needing the tag. Rash taunting Erica from the safety of his corner...and going up for the Rash Attack--Kirk jumping on the ropes!--crotches Rash!! Paul: OOOOH!! And Kirk stumbling...Rash getting up quickly though...Kirk with a diving tag-- Megan: ERICA TAGGED IN!! Rash up, and a spinning heel kick by Erica!! Frosti in--REVERSE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!! Kirk up and whips Rash into the corner--Erica laying down.. Paul: NOT NOW YOU SICK FREAKS! Megan: SLINGSHOTS HER INTO RASH!--THE PATRIOT MISSILE!! Paul: ...oh... Megan: Rash caught from behind with a waistlock--GERMAN SUPLEX!! Erica from the top, and LEGDROP--Patriot Plex!! And Erica covers! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . ...KICKOUT by Rash, BARELY! Paul: Frosti dazed as she rolls out to the side. And Rash at the mercy of Erica here...by the ankle--39 Fire Spin, and locking Rash in a single leg crab! Megan: Wrenching the leg back as she puts all her weight on the back of Rash...Rash trying to reach for the ropes--the ankle twisted as well. Erica altering position, and a reverse leg lace now! Rash pounding the mat as he tries to shut out the pain and reach the ropes. GETS IT!! Erica getting up and trying to yank him away--Frosti in--SUPERKICK catches Erica up underneath the chin! Cover! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! Kickout! Paul: Rash hobbling a bit as he gets up, and Frosti pulling her up--Rash grabbing her by the neck and holding her up--BALDO BOMB/EDGE-O-MATIC combination by the challengers! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . ...NO! Paul: And Frosti setting her up--REVERSE DDT!! And rushes to the corner--flips off with a 2nd Rope Moonsault! Going to the top...AND THE THIR--KNEES UP BY ERICA!! Counters the Moonsault! Megan: And Erica recovering now...springing up to the top rope--DRAGON ATTACK on Frosti!! Cover by Erica-- . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . ...Kickout! Paul: Erica up, and tags in Kirk...Erica setting up Frosti, and a Double Team DDT from the Angels!! Kirk covers, and-- . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . . Kickout! Megan: Erica going out to the outside, and Kirk Irish Whipping Frosti...into the corner--Frosti up and over, and from behind--FULL NELSON DRIVER!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO . Kickout! Paul: Going for a version of the Scream Dream--Kirk escaping--going for the Anklelock!! Frosti to the ropes!! Kirk letting go, and tagging in Erica... Megan: Erica tossed into the ropes now--DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE BY FROSTI sends them both down!! UP, and tags to Rash! Paul: Rash in! Dropkick to Erica!! Dropkicking Kirk!! Erica back up--scoops and slams her down!! Frosti off the ropes, boosted up and dropped on top of Erica!! Megan: Rash pairing off with Kirk now, and clotheslining him out to the floor! Quickly hopping over the top rope and outside...continuing to brawl now. Inside--FROSTI WITH THE BLUE MIST!! Hoists up Erica, and the FROSTI BITE!! Paul: But Rash has to cover--calling him to finish with Kirk and make the cover...heading up top... Megan: Looks like a swanton--the referee has lost all control--SAVVY FROM THE CROWD!! Crotches up Frosti! Paul: Gah...and climbing up on the apron--AHHH! Megan: TOP ROPE CHOKESLAM BY SAVVY!! Megan: Rash with a low blow, and the BALDO BOMB onto the floor...sliding in the ring now...Erica up--SYMBIOTE SLAM by Rash! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . . THREE?! *ding, ding, ding* Paul: ....YES!! Against ALL ODDS and that CHEATER SAVVY... Capetta: The winners of this match...and NEW EAW Tag Team Champions...Frosti and Rash! Megan: Oh, brother... Paul: NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Megan: Rash just now seeing the condition on his partner, as he straps the tag team title around himself... Paul: Climbing up and picking her up--and now webswinging out of here... Megan: The Angels looking rather upset as they're recovering, WITHOUT their tag titles...and I think they're going to be wanting a rematch VERY shortly... Paul: New champs, new champs, new chaaaa-ammps..hehehe... Megan: We'll be back after this break...-- -- Paul: Ahhh, Fernando! He's a good guy! Met him once, real class! Megan: Ah, I bet... Paul: Hey, maybe you should talk with him, Megan! You could work part time with him! Megan: No thanks. Paul: C'mon, Megan! Cinco cinco cinco, nueve dos, nueve dos! Call him! Megan: No no no... I'm quite happy being here, thank you... ^_^;; "Ultra Mega" by Powerman 5000 cues up, signifying the arrival of one of the enforcers for the next match! Seven steps out to the stage as the fans cheer. He smiles out to the crowd, then goes to one end of the stage as his theme ends... then "Shock" by Fear Factory cues up! The music picks up-- Heyman: I hate this-- THOOOOMM!!!!! The dome-like explosion reverberates about the stage... and as it clears Eighteen stands with a smile stretched about her beautiful face... then another person steps out to join her--! Heyman: Crysta?!! I thought she left that robo-bimbo!! Megan: They made up a little while ago, Paul. Heyman: ... No one informs me of these things. *sigh* Geez... Crysta raises the hand of Eighteen in a kind of a pre-celebratory gesture, then goes to the other side of the stage as "Superstar" by Saliva cues up, and the fans begin to boo loudly as the EAW Triple Crown Champion steps out, with his wife Kelly at his side. They just stare at the androids, then calmly head down the aisle without a single word spoken. Megan: Hm. That's odd. No crass words from David Flair or his wife? Heyman: Of course not! A champion's nothing but class, Megan! Megan: ... Rright. David tells Kelly some things as they get to the ring... then suddenly, "It's Love" by Rabbit cues up, and the crowd erupts with cheers!! Megan: My God!!! The crowd! They're cheering so loudly! So proudly!! And THERE'S the reason why!!! Oseiko drops down on a line, hanging upside down over the stage as she smiles brightly, then flips down to her feet and skips to the ring, slapping hands with the fans as she keeps smiling. Megan: The fans absolutely love Oseiko here in her home land, Paul! Defeating David Flair here tonight would mean a lot to her! Paul: Give me a break! David's just going to have to humiliate her then! And show everyone here in Japan what he REALLY thinks about them! Oseiko slides into the ring, staring at David Flair as he pulls off the title belt, showing it to Oseiko. "This is as close as you're gonna get!" he shouts. "Your last chance! You'll NEVER get a title shot from me again!!" Oseiko just smiles. "Ki ne." Oseiko suddenly rushes David!!
Extreme Rules Oseiko vs. David Flair (c) Megan: Flair ducks a punch by Oseiko-- Oseiko turns around-- KICK TO THE GUT! AND-- SPLITS THROAT THRUST! Flair rolls with it though! To his feet! CHOP TO OSEIKO CAUSES HER TO STAGGER BACK! AND-- LEG BREAKER! OSEIKO FLIPS BACK UP! AND-- JAPANESE ARM DRAG!! FLAIR GETS UP! GRABS OSEIKO! WHIP TO THE CORNER! FOLLOW UP--KNEE TO THE JAW! AND--ANOTHER!!! Heyman: THAT'S IT! SHOW HER WHO'S CHAMP! Megan: Yeesh, don't you do enough cheerleading with Brock? David picks Oseiko up-- OSEIKO WITH THE FOREARM! TURNS HIM AROUND! BLUE THUNDER LYGERBOMB!!!
1!. Megan: NO! Just a one count!! Paul: She won't beat him that easily! Hell, we haven't even gotten to the Extreme stuff yet! Megan: Good points! OH! OSEIKO WITH THE SPINNING HEEL KICK! SHE-- Hey! A fan's just jumped the railing! Heyman: A Generation-NEXT fan! Megan: Eighteen's quick to get him back to the crowd so security can deal with him... Eighteen sighs softly, shaking her head, rubbing the back of her neck curiously... perhaps it might be sore... but then, CAN it get sore? Megan: OSEIKO WITH A HIGH BACK DROP!! OSEIKO QUICKLY PICKS HIM UP! WHIPS HIM TO THE CORNER! QUICK FOLLOWUP-- HURRICARANA OFF THE ROPES!! Oseiko picks FLair up and-- OH! A RAKE TO THE EYES BY FLAIR! AND-- SHIN BREAKER!!!! Flair now, sliding out of the ring! Fishing out from under the ring! A trash can! Kendo stick!! And the tried-and-true steel chair!! Heyman: YEAH BABY! THIS! IS EXTREME! Ahh, it feels good sayin' that! Megan: David with the trash can and-- OH!! OSEIKO WITH A KICK RIGHT INTO IT! DAVID'S SENT SPRAWLING! OSEIKO RUNS TO THE TOP ROPE AND-- SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!!!!! COVER!!!
1! Megan: AND FLAIR KICKS OUT!! Both competitors up! And Oseiko hits Flair with the front dropkick! Oseiko kippups and-- ohhhh.. she's got the Kendo stick!! Heyman: Ohhh, this is gonna get ugly... Megan: Oseiko weilding it like a pro! AIMS! AND-- OHHH!!!! DAVID FLAIR COUNTERS!!! A KICK RIGHT BETWEEN OSEIKO'S LEGS!!!!! Heyman: Michael'll probably kiss it and make it better!
Megan: ... Er, FLAIR NOW UP ON THE TOP ROPE! MEASURES OSEIKO! AND--
ELBOW DROP!!!! HITS! COVERS!
1! Megan: NO! OSEIKO KICKS OUT! Flair grabs that Kendo stick now! AHH! SMACKS IT ACROSS OSEIKO'S HEAD! AGAIN! AND-- OSEIKO'S HUNG UP ACROSS THE ROPES! Flair... what's he doing?!
 Megan: Flair contemplates what to do... grabs her legs and-- wha--?! OHHHHH!!!!!! WHAT A MOVE BY THE CHAMPION!!!! Heyman: I'll say! HE CLOTHESLINED OSEIKO ACROSS THE TOP ROPE, THEN FLUNG HER IN KIND OF LIKE A ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP!!! BEAUTIFUL!! Megan: And Flair with a pin!!
1! Megan: NO! OSEIKO KICKS OUT AT ONE!! Heyman: After a move like that?! COME ON!! Megan: Flair grabs the steel chair! Flings Oseiko across the ropes! And-- OHHH! OSEIKO'S HEAD COLLIDES WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!! I THINK OSEIKO'S BEEN BUSTED OPEN!!! Heyman: Like that matters with how fast that girl heals... I mean, she took a bullet to the head!!! Megan: Point taken! OH! OSEIKO GRABS HER LEGS AND-- LOOKS LIKE-- THE LEGENDARY END!!! Heyman: THE END OF OSEIKO'S LEGEND BEFORE IT EVEN BEGINS!!! Megan: NO! OSEIKO COUNTERS INTO A LEG SCISSORS! AND-- SUNRISE FIVE-LOCK!!!! DAVID'S CLOSE TO THAT STEEL CHAIR THOUGH! AND-- OHH!!! OSEIKO GETS CLOCKED RIGHT IN THE FACE!!! Flair now... slides out of the ring! And pulls out-- ohhh man! A table! And-- A LADDER!!! Heyman: Flair's living for the moment! Much like my newest ally! Matt Hardy! Version One! Show her some Mattitude, David!! Megan: Ugh... I'm sure Oseiko will have a few words with that egomaniac... right now she's got THIS one to deal with! Flair sets the table up in the ring! Rolls Oseiko onto it! And setting her up... no way... he's going to-- DDT!!!!! RIGHT ONTO THE TABLE! BUT IT DIDN'T GIVE THOUGH! Heyman: It doesn't matter! Hard wood against a skull STILL hurts! Megan: Flair sets her up again! AND-- ANOTHER DDT! THIS TIME THE TABLE GIVES WAY!!! Flair's feeling confident now! Goes to pick Oseiko up and-- OSEIKO TRIPS HIM!!!! AND--  Megan: -- KUMO NO AMIMONO!!!!!!! THE CROWD'S BECOME UNGLUED!!!! SHE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN!!!! AND-- WAIT! NO!!! DAMMIT! KELLY JUST SLID IN AND HIT OSEIKO WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!!! THE REFEREE ADMONISHING KELLY BUT THERE'S REALLY NOTHING HE CAN DO! Heyman: That's right! Extreme rules, Megan! Megan: Well both recovering now... Flair getting up faster than Oseiko! Grabs Oseiko and-- FLINGS HER OUT THE ROPES! He follows her out! And--  Megan: OH! PUNCHES TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! Flair now! WITH THE LADDER! SETTING IT UP! HE'S CLIMBING IT UP! I THINK HE'S GOING TO DO SOMETHING--NO!! OSEIKO MEETS FLAIR UP! Wow, how fast she scaled that ladder and-- they're trading blows and-- what's going to-- wait! OH! WAIT! OMIGOD!!!!! Heyman: HOLY CRAP!!!
Megan: OSEIKO JUST LANDED A HURRICARANA OFF THE LADDER!! RIGHT BACK INTO
THE RING!!!!! FLAIR'S HURT! OSEIKO WITH THE PIN!!!
1! Megan: NO! FLAIR MANAGES TO GET A SHOULDER UP EVEN AFTER SUCH AN IMPRESSIVE MOVE!!! Oseiko goes back out of the ring now! Gets the ladder! She sets it up in the middle of the ring! Gets a table now too! What is she planning?! Heyman: If it's anything like that Kumorana through two tables high spot from a while back-- Megan: Oseiko with the table in the corner! The chair set up in front of it! Oseiko kicks Flair in the gut to make sure he stays out of it! Putting him into the chair! Climbs the ladder! And... SHE FLIES!!! OH MY GOD!!!! Heyman: HOLY CHRIST!!! Megan: FLAIR DUCKED!! AND OSEIKO DROPKICKS THE TABLE IN HALF AND-- the way she landed on that chair, my God! Heyman: RIGHT ON HER BACK! Geez, I wouldn't surprised if she's paralyzed! Megan: A spectacular idea from Oseiko that didn't pay off! David now! Goes for the pin!!
1! Megan: NO!!! OSEIKO GETS A SHOULDER UP!!!!! AFTER THAT HIDEOUSLY BOTCHED MOVE SHE STILL GOT OUT AND-- hey... look up at the stage! Eighteen doesn't... is it just me or does Eighteen look a little bit out of it? Heyman: ... Hey yeah... almost like she's tired or--!! Megan: Eighteen's collapsed! She just... fell off the stage!!! Crysta and Seven's to her side! Seven there first! And... he's found something! And... he doesn't look too happy! HE'S RUSHING TO THE RING! AND-- SEVEN END!!! RIGHT INTO DAVID FLAIR'S HEAD!!! He then runs back out and goes to help Eighteen! This... this is serious! He's carrying her out now! Crysta's following! Heyman: Maybe Eighteen's batteries are just running low. Megan: Paul... Flair staggers up... OSEIKO'S UP! SOMEHOW SHE'S UP! AND-- KUMO NO SASU!!!! DAVID FLAIR'S OUT!!! OSEIKO PINS!!! IT'S ACADEMIC!!
1! Megan: OSEIKO PULLS DAVID UP?! W-WHY?! She stands up... she just noticed the absense of Seven and Eighteen! She's... talking to the ref?! Heyman: What the hell is she doing?!!! Megan: She just got told what happened! I think... she's contemplating whether she WANTS to win the match like this! Heyman: Wha--?! o_O; OF ALL THE IDIOTIC-- JUST PIN HIM!!! YOU'RE THE CHAMPION! THREE SECONDS! WHO CARES HOW YOU WIN!!! Megan: She cares, Paul! She's honorable! You heard her! Her soul knows no darkness! And... I think she's made a decision! SHE'S PINNING HIM!!
1! Megan: NO!!! DAVID GETS A SHOULDER UP!!!!!! Heyman: SHE WAITED TOO LONG THINKING!!!! DAVID HAD TIME TO RECOVER!!! AND OSEIKO'S GOTTA BE KICKING HERSELF IN THE ASS FOR BEING SO STUPID!!! Megan: You're right! For once... she had the chance to be champion but she blew it! But she can still get another chance to pin him--NO! OSEIKO GETS A FOREARM SHOT IN THE CROTCH! David staggers out of the ring now... Kelly's helping him! What're they-- they just pulled out a wooden palette! And I think... o_o! It's rigged with C4! Heyman: WHOA! DAVID FLAIR PULLING OUT THE OLD JAPANESE DEATH MATCH TRICKS FOR THIS MATCH! VINTAGE CACTUS JACK!! Megan: Flair drags Oseiko out of the ring! sets her up over the palette! REVERSE DDT COMING UP! Flair though... grandstanding! "FUCK YOU, JAPAN!!!!" he shouts! Megan: WAIT! OSEIKO-- **BOOOMMM!!!** Megan: OSEIKO COUNTERED!!!! BOTH COMPETITORS GOT THE BRUNT OF THAT LOW-YIELD EXPLOSION BUT DAVID GOT THE FULL BRUNT!! WE GOTTA SEE A REPLAY!! Scene switch to moments ago... David Flair raising a fist up, shouting... and suddenly Oseiko spins about in the headlock, arm outstretched, locking in a headlock of her own and delivering a DDT-like facebuster right on the palette, resulting in it exploding!! Megan: Oseiko staggers up! She's bruised! Battered! Bloodied! But so is Flair!! Flair's up! AND--
 Megan: KUMO NO SASU!!! AND OSEIKO COLLAPSES ON TOP OF FLAIR!!
1! Megan: OH COME ON!!! KELLY PULLING OSEIKO OFF OF FLAIR!!! HASN'T THIS MATCH GONE ON LONG ENOUGH?!!! Oseiko staggers up! Or tries to... Kelly's goading her! And-- WHA-- A FAN JUST GRABBED KELLY FROM BEHIND! BY HER-- er-- Heyman: BY HER PUPPIES! o_O; Megan: HEADBUTTING HER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! AND KELLY COLLAPSES IN A HEAP!! Oseiko's just noticed! The fan just stares at Oseiko... what's this about?! He just... gestured the number two and pointed at Oseiko! Heyman: At least security's escorting him out! That was... what WAS that all about?! Megan: Oseiko going to check on Kelly now... and David's managed to-- WAIT! ROLL UP! HE'S PULLING THE PANTS!!!
1! Megan: o_O!! Oseiko-- just slipped off her pants?! Heyman: That's ONE way of getting out of that kinda pin! o_O;; Megan: Flair's shocked! He didn't expect that at all! AND-- OSEIKO TOSSES HIM A CHAIR! FLAIR CATCHES IT-- VAN KUMONATOR!!! Megan: PINS!
1! Megan: YES!!!!!! OSEIKO DOES IT!!! OSEIKO DOES IT!!!!! Winner & NEW EAW Triple Crown Champion: Oseiko Megan: WHAT AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER-COASTER RIDE OF A MATCH THIS WAS!!!!! Two fans interjected themselves in this match and as a result, Eighteen and Kelly are both down! Both Oseiko and Flair pulled out all the stops on this match! And in the end! We have a new EAW Triple Crown Champion!!! Akiko and Michael and Ariel... most of the faces here in the arena emptying out of the ring to help Oseiko celebrate!! Heyman: ... Van Kumonator...?! Megan: ^_^; Hehehehe... *shrugs* Oseiko sits up on top of Kirk Angel and Michael Connelly's shoulders as "It's Love" plays over the PA... she looks to the cheering fans, then to David Flair and Kelly, who're both being wheeled out on stretchers... then holds up the title belt, a smile on her face, tears in her eyes as she celebrates! Megan: We'll get an update on both Kelly and Eighteen's conditions as soon as we can, folks! We'll be right back!! Heyman: ... Van... KUMOnator...?!! --- **During the Break...** Stone Cold Steve Austin has been watching the match between Oseiko and David Flair with mild interest while he waits for his own contest against "Code Red" Michael Connelly. He was certainly interested in seeing David get his ass handed to him, but his main point of interest was that Eighteen would be one of two enforcers in this match. No surprise there... The surprise comes when Eighteen shows signs of being... woozy following an altercation with an overzealous fan... His eyes narrow in concern, and he thinks about what she had told him. "...Digital immortal... I'll never age... I'll never get sick... I'll never die..." He watches the match progress... and after a few minutes, Eighteen collapses! "What the hell...? That's not right!" Austin thinks back a moment... "The fan..." He rushes toward the stage entrance... "Hm?" one of the EAW's multi-talents (referee/announcer/interviewer/future wrestler) Ayane Mitsui blinks as Austin approaches. "Uhm... what'cha doing?" "Get outta mah way!" Austin snaps distractedly... "Teena!" Ayane blinks. "Huh? What about her?" She follows Austin... they reach the stage area, just behind the curtains, where Eighteen lays on a bench, shivering, sweating... Aerith is there, as is Seven and Crysta who're standing from Aerith, giving her some patience to work. Austin is about to charge out there and check on her himself... but then he stops and remembers where he is... He can't go out there, and he knows it. It's unprofessional. But still... "Ah don't get it," he murmurs. "Ah thought nothin' could hurt her..." "... I don't get it either..." Aerith says. "... She's showing symptoms of a... well... a death adder bite! I can't purify it from her because she's not human... I... I-I don't..." "... capsule... corporation..." Eighteen tries to get up. "... bulma... must get to..." "Eighteen, no... you're too weak to move like this!" Steve Austin kneels close to Eighteen... "Teena... listen ta me... what do you need?" he asks, his voice trembling ever-so-slightly, a rarity for the Texas Rattlesnake... In moment, he's ready to leave to do whatever is necessary to help her... and it is evident in his expression... ".. i'll be okay..." Eighteen tries to get up... but is too weak. "... just... do... go... fight... w-won't... let a spiderwasp bite get me..." she shivers deeply... then quickly turns away and throws up! "... This isn't good..." Aerith turns toward Crysta and Seven. "One of you! Call this Capsule Corporation! Tell them it's urgent!!" Austin's eyes glaze over with hate and anger as looks at the curtain... he doesn't even know how the match is turning out, but he is tempted now... He reaches down for the cosmic device that is currently inhibiting his mutation... his fingers already working at the hinges, loosening it... "That son of a bitch..." Austin hisses. "Ah'll KILL that fucker!" The vein on his forehead becomes visible, and he is hopping toward the curtain even as he struggles to remove the knee brace... "FLAIR!" "... steve... no..." Eighteen whispers, too faint for Aerith to pick up barely, but Austin might with the mutation he has. ".. he's... just a pawn... used by... gero..." "Mr. Austin... don't!" Aerith adds. "... I know you're angry but killing someone's never the answer! Death breeds more death!" Reluctantly, Steve Austin refastens the power-inhibitor knee brace and tightens it. Looking to Aerith, he shakes his head, but says nothing... Then, going back to Eighteen, he pauses, and kisses her on the forehead. "Ah'm gonna find this guy..." he whispers into her ear. "And then there's gonna be justice..." "... just... think about earning the gold... getting your fix..." Eighteen whispers. "... i'll fight this... even if i have to... fight outta hell to do it..." Austin nods reluctantly, and watches as the EMT's leave with her. Looking to Aerith, he mutters, "You might wanna think about saving some healin' magic for David Flair... 'Cause as soon as Ah'm done winnin' that belt, Ah'm gonna hurt him..." "... Well... this IS what I get paid for..." Aerith sighs, shrugging with a sweatdrop. ^_^; **Commercial Break** Megan: Welcome everyone, back to EAW Mayhem, just in time for our main event. Paul: One I, and certainly MY CLIENT, Brock Lesnar, are looking VERY much forward to. Brock: *nods* "Glass Shatters" by Disturbed begins to play, and at the first sound of the glass shattering the crowd pops loudly. Megan: Austin with quite a large WORLDWIDE following! Paul: Figures, considering how male dominated this country is, it would FIGURE they'd so admire a chauvinistic, pig-headed, abusive-- Megan: Paul, could you please can it? -_- Paul: Sorry..just passionate about my opinions. You KNOW I'm a passionate man, don't you, Megan? Megan: Keep your distance, Paul... =P Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall, with TV time remaining, and is for the EAW WORLD Heavyweight Title! Introducing first, from Victoria, Texas...standing 6'2" and weighing in at 241 pounds..STOOOONE COLD..STEVE...AUSTIN!! Megan: The Rattlesnake or the Bionic Redneck to some, but just "Stone Cold" will suffice. Paul: Yeah yeah, he's TOUGHER THAN A TWO DOLLAR STEAK!! STUNNER!! STUNNER!! STUNNER!! STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD!! Blah--big fat hairy deal. Austin makes his way down to the ring, staring a hole through Heyman nearly, and slides in the ring, walking to each of the four posts and up, raising his arms. After finishing that ritual, he gives his not-too-suble favorite hand gesture to Heyman and Brock. Paul: HOLD OFF, BROCK!! We don't need to do anything yet...that yellow-bellied coward wants that. Megan: I'm sure he does want to fight Brock NOW and not later, but he'll have to hold off. Still, Brock could be a distraction to him... "Broken" by Bruce Dickinson cues up, and the champion also gets a great reaction... Paul: I'm going to go on record and...you won't hear me say this much, if ever again, but I'm rooting for Michael to take Austin out! Megan: It's okay, Paul, we don't think any less of you for that. Still, Brock facing the EAW champion would be good too, wouldn't it? Paul: True, but it doesn't really matter...Austin doesn't deserve a belt handed to him on a silver platter so soon after his debut. Megan: ...I'm not touching that one. Capetta: And his opponent, from Mars, Pennsylvania...standing 6'2" and weighing in at 235 pounds...accompanied by Kelly, he is the defending EAW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION..."CODE RED"...Michael Connelly!! Megan: Judging from the reaction, I'm certain the crowd may be a little torn... Paul: Bah..whatever. Megan: However, some of the fans booing Kelly...Michael seems to be keeping his distance from her as well. And I certainly can't blame him. Paul: He should be honored that an matrimonially-honored Flair, a manager of an up and coming LEGEND in his business decided to accompany him to the ring! Megan: Speaking of which--here she comes now... Paul: Kelly, Kelly! It's an honor to see you! Please sit down, put on a headset... Kelly: Good evening, Paul...Megan... Megan: It WAS one... Kelly: *sigh* Well, still holding a grudge I see. Anyway, glad to be here at ringside to witness this match. Megan: I can agree with that...the EAW title held up overhead, and-- "Stone Cold" Steve Austin vs. "Code Red" Michael Connelly (c) *ding, ding* Megan: --there's the bell! Connelly and Austin staring each other down...tie up to start--Austin with the knee into the midsection, and sends Connelly into the ropes--caught--side slam escaped, and a gut wrench suplex by Connelly. Austin getting back up, and ducks the clothesline by Connelly. Austin catches him, waistlock--GERMAN SUPLEX!! Paul: Austin showing off some of those long-dormant wrestling skills. Michael picked up by Austin, and tossed face first into the corner. Austin with stomps to the midsection-- Kelly: Michael catches the leg!! And a Dragon Screw by Connelly! Wrenches the knee, and drives the knees into the mat! Megan: Connelly stomping on the back of the knee...and now going for an STF--Austin rolling through, escape, and setting up Michael in a reverse headlock--DRIVES the elbow into the throat! Slumping Michael onto the second rope--to the far ropes, and STUN GUNNING Michael! Paul: Keeping his body weight pressed down on Michael now, and pulling him off-- Kelly: Suplex set up--Michael blocks--SNAP SUPLEX!! Paul: Michael holding on--pick up--another snap suplex! Michael into the floatover! . . . ONE!--Kickout! Megan: Connelly up, and setting up Austin--into the corner--BOOT UP by Austin--and PLANTS Michael with a bulldog!! . . . ONE! ...NO, kickout! Kelly: Michael picked up by Austin, and drops the back of his neck across the knee! Chinlock applied...Michael trying to fight up--headlock takeover by Austin. Michael grounded as Austin wrenches at the neck. Michael fighting back up again--BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX by Michael! Paul: Austin getting up now--off the ropes--SPINNING NECK BREAKER by Connelly!! Off the ropes--legdrop across the back of the neck--cover! . . . ONE! . . Kickout! Megan: Michael with a side headlock now, and knees Austin in the midsection...whipped to the ropes, and LEAPING REVERSE ROUNDHOUSE nailing Austin across the throat!! Pulling him up, and looks like a piledriver set up...DRILLS Austin head-first into the mat! . . . ONE! . . . TWO!--kickout! Paul: Smart gameplan for Michael, focusing on the neck. Even if physically the past neck injuries are healed...psychologically--I'll bet it has Austin a little scared. Kelly: Scared I don't know, but maybe a bit worried...Austin expending his own energy to get up--grabbed by Michael! T-Bone--NO! Blocked and elbowed off by Austin!! Rights by Stone Cold, and fires him into the ropes--up and LOU THESZ PRESS!! Rapid fire jabs by Stone Cold!! Megan: Michael sent into the corner now, and Austin stomping away... "NANI?! NANI?! NANI?! NANI?!" Paul: Dragged away from the ropes--leg hooked-- . . . ONE! . . . TWO! --KICKOUT! Megan: Austin going back to his brawling ways a bit here, and setting up Michael in the corner--superplex--BLOCKED!! Michael shoves Austin off!! Austin up--CROSSBODY FROM THE TOP!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! ...NO! Kelly: But Austin kicking out...Michael back up, kicks to the upper back area of Stone Cold, picking him up now...boosted up--THROAT FIRST across the top rope, a version of the old Stun Gun. Now looks like a Million Dollar Dream--DRIVES his neck into the mat! Megan: Sending a clear message to Austin by delivering some of his old finishers--pick by Connelly--JAWBREAKER by Austin now!! Michael caught off guard! Charging in--caught there and a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! Austin pulling him up, and whipped into the ropes--hoisted up and SPINEBUSTER by the Rattlesnake!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . NO! Paul: Austin looking frustrated, and pulling up Connelly--scooped overhead--wait-wait--from behind--Michael picks him up--DRIVES him into the mat with the K-DRILLER!! Megan: A perfectly executed one at that...Michael covering! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . NO! NO! Kelly: Michael hitting the move that originally broke Austin's neck, correctly, but probably some major deja vu felt there... Paul: FINISH THE JOB!! FINISH THE JOB!! CRIPPLE HIM!! Kelly: I don't think he's aiming for that, Paul... -_- Megan: And Connelly sends Austin to the ropes--flapja--into a Ruby Cutter!! Cover by Connelly!--ooh, but on the elevation Austin accidentally hit the referee! Paul: Michael checking on him, but this is giving Austin time to recover... Kelly: Austin up--from behind--Michael blocks the right hands--shots to Austin--Austin countering with rights on his own. He whips Michael-- Paul: Austin hoists him up and over--Connelly grabbing hold of the ropes--CATCHES AUSTIN BY THE HEAD! And flips him to the outside!! HAHAHAH! Megan: Austin up in a daze--and Paul: AHHH-*bzzt* Megan: --decks HEYMAN!! Kelly: *shreik* Megan: Austin stomping away on Heyman!! Brock coming to his aid, and the WWE Champion and Stone Cold fighting out here on the outside!! Brock taking the advantage, and pummelling Austin on the announce table! And picking him up in that bearhug!! Paul: *awk* BREAK HIS RIBS, BROCK!! DO IT DO IT! Megan: Flying axhandle off the apron by Connelly! And Brock knocked down to his knees! Kelly: Michael helping up Austin--KICK--INTO THE STUNNER!! STONE COLD STUNNER!! Austin picking up Michael and tossing him in the ring!! Megan: Cover by Austin! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . ....BROCK STOMPING ACROSS THE BACK OF AUSTIN! *ding, ding, ding* Kelly: And Paul tossing off his headset to cheerlead Brock on.... Megan: Brock picking up Austin and--the F5!! Brock just costing Austin the EAW World Title! Kelly: Michael DID just save him though... -_- Megan: Well, Paul escorting Brock to the back... Kelly gets in the ring as they clear out, to help up Michael..then Austin?! O_o Megan: Well, it seems Brock screwed the fans out of a decisive winner...and when Austin comes to, he'll be...well, as pissed off as ever. For the slimy Paul Heyman, I'm Megan Eko, and this has been EAW Mayhem!
Suddenly the lights go out in the arena!! Fading in to the PA is creepy sounds... the whisperings of "Itte Kimasu" playing... forward and reverse... distorted slowly and fast...
Paul: I don't like the sounds of this...
"Tourniquet" by Marilyn Manson suddenly cues up--
 Megan: ...*gasp*..what's this...grotesque, obscene puppet? Paul: I don't know...it looks like something straight out of a Tim Burton movie.
I wrapped our love in all this foil!
Take your hatred out on me.
Her head lolls back down to stare at the people. She opens her mouth and, without the use of audio equipment, her voice reverbs in an unearthly tone...... "Itte Kimasu....." The chains suddenly jerk her with great speed back into the shadow. Her blood has dripped on the mat.... and spells out....
 Megan: *gasps* What...could this all mean? Paul: It means I'm getting my ass out of here post-haste--the damn place is haunted!!
|
