Live from the Kansas Expocentre in Topeka, Kansas, it's Tuesday Night Mayhem!!
[Ready in 5... 4... 3...]
Cue the pyrotechnics, cue the loud music, cue the loud chanting, and cue yet another wonderful installment of EAW Mayhem! Along with crowd signs like "The Great Muta OWNS MAIKU!", "J.C. Stone: Stone Dumb!", "There's always room for T&A!" and "Ibuki likes feet!"... there just happens to be two announcers present: Megan Eko and the original horny little She-Devil herself, Lilith Aesland!
Megan: Greetings, EAW fans, to Mayhem! This promises to be yet another action-packed night! And, before all her fans pitch a fit, I'd like to introduce the infamous girl herself.
Lilith: Yooooooooo! It's me, it's me! I'm ho-r-ny! BANG ME!
Megan: ... feeling better than usual, Lil?
Lilith: I could feel a drop better! Not only did I ge my daily allotment of ass, I also, along with the rest of the world, got to see Ibuki go to town on Oseiko's tootsies! As much as I hate S&M, the whole "Person likes feet!" meme's very fitting!
Megan: You'd have preferred to be in Ibuki's place, I imagine.
Lilith: Naturally!
Megan: Anyway, we're gonna have one hell of a night... Mandy LePew and Beegee Hyde--
Lilith: Two hot pieces of ass, might I add.
Megan: --go at in in a giant bowl of, well, Jell-o... Crash Holly and Raven take it to the extreme in more ways than one... Oseiko challenges the reigning International champ, Kairi, for his title... and, in our main event, and much to my surprise...
Lilith: David Flair takes on Triple H! Personally, I think David's really one of Red's cousins in disguise! He's so off his rocker it's not even funny!
Megan: Well, we all know what having big shoes to fill will do to someone... but first up, we have a triple threat match that there'll be no trouble with as far as picking out the fan favorite.
Lilith: Well, there's the bigot, the idiot who hangs out with The Inferiors, and then there's th--
Deftone's "Elite" suddenly cues up, and one extremely freaky-looking Japanese man in a long black trenchcoat walks slowly towards the announcer's desk. The crowd's mostly booing, as they expected to see a match...
Megan: ... er. Mr. Lyger... good to have you here.
Lyger: ... you. Succubus. You will not break my concentration with your prattling while I'm observing this match. Leave. NOW.
Lilith: ... what, no goodnight ki--
Lyger: LEAVE, you half-witted, sex-crazed anomaly! Or I will make you leave in a manner you'd consider, even taking your fetishes into account, highly unenjoyable. Now GO, and do not come back until I am done.
Megan: ... and... Lilith's leaving the booth and heading backstage. And my *God*, the crowd's booing Beast God Lyger like he'd just kicked Ariel or something!
Lyger: The child overstayed her welcome. She is fortunate that Sweet Tooth did not get his hands on her.
Megan: ... so why *are* you here, anyway?
Lyger: To see if a certain 'pure' man is worthy of speaking the outrageous things that he does.
Megan: Okay....
"Kryptonite" fires up, and one 'Mr. Excitement' makes his way to the ring, getting a vaguely mixed reception from the crowd, most of them not sure what to think of him.
Megan: Kevin Tatum, member of the Triple Ex Theatre! While he's in cahoots with The Experimentals, he's not going to be the worst one out there in the ring
Lyger: ... The Experimentals are snot-nosed disgraces to this promotion... and the Tag Team titles they held have gained only the slightest bit more meaning now that the Blue World Order took them... shame, to defeat S&M and lose to an overweight man with blue hair and his ex-censor friend.
Megan: Did you always wake up this cranky, Mr. Lyger, or do you just hate everyone?
Lyger: Hmph.
"Kryptonite" cuts out, and "El Cu Cuy" soon follows. The strong boos announce that J.C. Stone has indeed entered the building. Oddly enough, he seems to drink up the heat.
Megan: To be the bigot at the worst possible time... Stone's done lots to really get people on his bad side... is there a group of people that he hasn't offended or spit on?
Lyger: This... boy amuses me. In the way that a mouse amuses a snake before the snake devours it.
Megan: Well, he's probably going to be on the ass-end of both Tatum's and Jericho's wrath tonight... speaking of which...
"Welcome To The Jungle" blares loud and proud on the soundsystem as the Lionheart RUNS down the ramp, slides in... and BLASTS Stone with a flying forearm!
Lyger: ... memories. Same old Jericho...
Megan: This match is already on, according to Jericho! Let the games begin!
Megan: Jericho all over Stone like a cheap suit... a HARD chop to the chest... another... ANOTHER... and ONE MORE puts Stone on his rear in the corner! Jericho laying in the stomps... and NOW Tatum decides to jump in and.... DRAGON SUPLEX ON JERICHO! Bridging for the pin!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
Jericho fights out, but Tatum caught him seriously off-guard with that suplex! Tatum driving a few knees into Jericho's side... off the ropes... low front dropkick to Jericho's ribs rolls the Lionheart out of the ring!
Lyger: So far, Jericho's one-track mind's already worked against him...
Megan: Tatum over to get his mitts on Stone... has him up and backed up in the corner... a few hard open-hand strikes... and a backhand slap! And Tatum's laughing at Sto--Stone grabs Tatum and throws HIM into the corner! Laying into Tatum with a flurry of punches to the stomach... Tatum slumps into Stone's arms... and EATS the business end of an overhead belly-to-belly! Stone kippups to his feet and tells Tatum to... wait?
Lyger: He's going to take down Jericho, naturally. Tit for tat.
Megan: Tatum over to the ropes, looking down at Jericho as he stands up... Stone hops over the ropes for a suicide dive--CAUGHT! And Jericho slings Stone in the security barrier back-first with a fallaway slam!
Lyger: ... one-track-minded, but still effective. Hm.
Megan: Jericho has Stone by his head... SLAMMING him into the railing headfirst! AGAIN! Once more! And---here comes Tatum! FLYING DOUBLE LARIAT knocks all three of them over the railing and into the crowd! Tatum's quick to get up, though... setting Stone and Jericho chest-down on the railing... and standing atop it to play up to the crow--DOUBLE ELBOW DROP TO BOTH OF THEIR HEADS! Tatum's cleaning house in a major way!
Lyger: The only real way to win a triple-threat match... is to control your opponents... like so.
Megan: And Tatum's way in control... rolling Stone into the ring... now Jericho... and Tatum's in! Deciding who to beat on... Tatum helps Jericho to his fee--DUCKS a chop from Jericho and cinches in the Lock Out! Jericho's flailing to escape! Tatum's trying to get a body scissors on, but Jericho's using his free hand to stop him... still, he's fading fa--STONE WITH A KICK TO TATUM'S GROIN!
Lyger: ... hm.
Megan: Tatum has to break the hold... and now Stone's up! Jericho and Stone looking between each other and Tatum... DOUBLE SPINNING HEELKICK to Tatum! And the both of them are putting the boot to Tatum... it's almost like they're working together!
Lyger: That won't last much longer.
Megan: More stomps... and Jericho stops to face Sto--STONE BREAKS JERICHO WITH AN STO! That came from absolutely out of nowhere, and Jericho's stunned! Stone's all grins now... he's got Jericho... oh no... not this move! Stone's got Jericho's arms hooked... and STONEDR--TATUM YANKS OUT STONE'S RIGHT FOOT FROM UNDER HIM! Both of them tumble to the ground in a heap! Jericho's ticket almost got punched by the bigot Stone, but Tatum gave him a second chance!
Lyger: Wise... as long as Jericho doesn't make him regret that decision later.
Megan: Stone looks pissed, and Jericho's still a bit groggy... Tatum's barely on his feet! And Stone's coming Tatum's way... kick to the gut! Another! And he breaks out a vicious spinning tae kwon-do kick to Tatum's head! And an elbow to the neck drops Tatum to one knee--Stone going for the Stonedriver Bomb! Hooks one arm, hoo--PUNCH TO THE GROIN FROM TATUM! And Tatum's upright... KICK WHAM THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT, and Stone gets some serious airtime! That could do it! Tatum goes to pin... and JERICHO with a dropkick to Tatum's already-beated head! Tatum's off of Stone... and Jericho's looking... to the ropes--LIONSAULT HITS! But Jericho doesn't go for the pin...
Lyger: Because he'd rather make Stone submit.
Megan: ... the Beast God knows the business, apparently! LIONTAMER! LIONTAMER ON STONE! And Stone's screaming his lungs out! It's only a matter of ti--wait, Tatum's up! Tatum rushes Jericho... and Jericho ducks, but has to break the Liontamer! Tatum's saved both Jericho AND Stone from defeat! I wonder if he plans to collect those debts soon!
Lyger: In pounds of flesh, Megan.
Megan: Jericho lays into Tatum... and whips him off the ropes... another flying forearm puts Tatum on his back... Jericho looking to the ropes again? It looks like it... and another Lionsault EATS TATUM's KNEES! They're both down... and Stone rolls outside to grab... oh, great, a handy-dandy steel chair! Stone rolls back in... the ref TRYING to stop him but Stone shrugs him off, drops the chair in the ring and grabs Jericho--STO! Another STO on Jericho! Jericho's down, and Stone's celebrating! I guess he forgot about Tatum, because Tatum's got that chair he was gonna use... AND JAMS IT RIGHT INTO STONE'S THROAT! Blatant rules violation, and the ref calls for the bell!Winner, by disqualification -- J.C. Stone
Lyger: ... a fitting end.
Megan: Tatum's unleashing Austin's patented "Beat Them With A Chair Until They Die" finishing move on Stone, and Stone's jerking around like an electrocution victim! And Jericho's finally up and in to break things up... and TAKES A SHOT TO THE GUT! And a downward swing right to Jericho's head puts him down as well! Play his music because he lost!
"Kryptonite" cues up, and Tatum tosses the chair away and leaves... as does Beast God Lyger, with no apparent warning. Soon, Lilith shows up again, looking cutely angry.
Megan: Welcome back, Lilith. Got into any trouble while you were away?
Lilith: No! I was so angry at that mask-wearing idiot that I didn't even feel like screwing anyone backstage! Can you believe that?!
Megan: It's a tough sell, but I can... anyway! Up next! A bowl of Jell-O, two women, and more EAW action! Stay tuned!
**Commercial Break**
Suddenly, "Rise" cues up and out comes the EAW champion Blink! Dressed in street clothes still and the EAW title in her hand she walks fast to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and rolling to her feet. She then stands up to the the top turnbuckle of a corner and looks to the cheering crowd.
Megan: Welcome back everyone...we're scheduled to have BG Hyde facing Mandy LePew here, but first...apparently Blink has a few things she's like to address.
Lilith: Probably having something to do with ol' Dirk's accusations at Mikey. I know he'd never do anything like double-cross one of his friends. Well, one time he and Oseiko pulled a little trick on me...but that was all in good fun. ^_^
Megan: Well, I think you may be right...and Blink has had a lot to think about...
Blink then drops down and snatches a mic from the outside.
"I'm gonna make this short and sweet... Michael Connelly, get your ass out here, now!!"
Lilith: An excellent choice, Blink. He's got a great ass...I copped a feel of it once...not too big...not too flat...just right. ^_^
Megan: I believe she wants the rest of his person out here as well, Lilith...
"There's a Fire in the House" cues up, and without much further ado, Michael Connelly comes out, the EAW People's Title over his shoulder, as he looks somewhat confused over this situation.
Megan: Blink seems rather distressed...you don't suppose she believes Kirk's story, do you?
Michael rushes down to the ring, and gets inside, waiting for his music to shut off.
"Yes?" he asks, "This is about what Kirk was saying...isn't it...you aren't actually buying..."
"Shut up..." Blink interrupts Michael, her eyes narrowing.
Lilith: Uh-oh...looks like Mikey's gonna have to explain himself...although he's innocent...
Sign in the crowd: "Blink: Conspiracy Victim?"
"... Y'know, a lot of what he was talking about had a lot of sense to it... and here you are, wanting a shot at my title, wanting to win it, and what do you do? You get MAIKU's help to do it. Y'know, I'm really surprised at you, Mike. I never knew you could stoop this low, but hey... what'm I talking about? This is pro-wrestling, anything's possible! Even a babyface like you can get knocked down to a heel... and I'm lookin' at one right now."
Lilith: Well...she has a point. The Hulkster...Christian...several people in EAW I could name...Chris Jericho...
Megan: True...but Mikey's different...isn't he?
Sign in crowd: "Say it ain't so, Mikey!"
Michael looks throughly shocked...even broken-hearted, "You do believe him..." he says with a heavy sigh. "Yes, I know people often do things like that for the sake of their own success....but you KNOW me better than that."
"I thought I knew you, Michael..." Blink hisses. "I guess I was wrong." Blink looks to the crowd... then suddenly shoves Michael!!
Megan: Uh-oh...I've never seen Blink do that to one of her friends...this could explode here any moment.
Michael stands, there, head down, "You do know me...and you know I wouldn't do that. I don't need someone like MAIKU to do anything to help me out. I can beat you on my own...no help at all..."
Michael temper seems to be flaring up...and, "Besides, I could have done a HELL of a better job on you myself than MAIKU did.." he then shoves Blink MUCH harder, into the turnbuckle.
The crowd roars up...
Megan: This is just what Kirk wanted...he's trying to play Blink for a fool..
Blink blinkblinks... then throws the belt down to the mat and running pushes Michael as hard as she can!
Lilith: It looks like we're gonna see Mikey-Blink III right here, right now...
Michael throws HIS belt down the the mat, and comes back toward Blink as the two stand eye-to-eye (although Blink's eyes are a little lower), chest to chest, having words with each other.
As the two champions fight, "Gonna Fly Now" Cues up in the arena...and wearing his 96 Olympic Warm-Ups and the REAL Gold Medals is Kirk Angel, with a microphone in hand.
Both Michael and Blink turn their heads to the entranceway...
As his music stops, Kirk picks up his mic. "You see Blink...I was right about Connelly. A guy like him wouldn't care when he beat you up, just as long as he could get the title in the future. How low can you go Michael?"
Blink steps back from Michael, casting a very accusing gaze at him.
"A better question for you Kirk. Along with 'how far back can your hairline recede?'" Michael snaps back at Kirk, with the crowd bursting out laughing.
Kirk sighs. "Figures someone like you tries to remove all blame from himself." Kirk continues in a mocking tone. "Oh, I'm Michael Connelly. I'm someone you can trust. I'm PURE!" He now speaks normally. "Please...I know better, as should all these people here. You're about as trustworthy as Richard Nixon."
"Kirk, you KNOW I haven't been pure since my wedding night...if that's the sense you mean. And RICHARD NIXON? Maybe I could see Lilith or Shawn Stasiak drawing comparisons to him, but not me....I don't need to spy on anyone. But...your fly's down, Kirk," Michael smiles.
Lilith: Hey, I'm NOTHING like Tricky Dick...but I'd like to meet anyone with a nickname like that. ^^
Megan: Lilith, Lilith, Lilith...
Kirk is about to look down, but catches himself. "Childish things like that won't work Mike...and if you haven't noticed, I'm wearing pants without zippers. It seems your little conspiracy is getting to your mind Connelly. It affects your senses...and your judgement, by revealing your hand to attack Blink so early. I wouldn't be surprised if MAIKU is cheering you on to beat her up in the back!"
"Fine...I guess you weren't as stupid as I thought...to fall for that," he smirks. "Besides...nothing to make it pop open anyway. Kirk...why don't you come down here...get in this ring...and say that?" he dares.
Blink looks to Michael, staring a hole through him, her muscles visibly tense as she prepares to dodge. Or strike...
Megan: Kirk's a smug, manipulative jerk, alright...we're seeing a friendship break down here right before our eyes.
"Oh I will..but not because you want me to. Because I want to talk to Blink face to face...and prevent a tragedy from happening against her. A tragedy YOU'D cause, Michael Anthony Connelly."
"Kirk...you may have duped Blink into thinking I might turn against her, but I don't think you can dupe her into thinking you actually give a damn about her...considering you rarely notice that there's anybody else on this planet than you...go ahead, though." Michael backs into the turnbuckle, leaning back on it. "The floor is yours, Curly."
Kirk sighs at Mikey as he goes to and gets into the ring and goes face to face with the EAW Champ. "Now Blink...think about it. You're the EAW Champion. He's the People's Champion. He's in a way, stuck in your shadow.
"You think for a minute he wouldn't try to stab you in the back just to be the top person in this industry? And since he KNOWS he can't do it fairly, you think he'd refrain from getting someone to help him? I severely doubt it.
"Blink...I'd watch your back around Connelly...cause where he is, MAIKU could be. And it only takes one moment of being off-guard to be weakened too much."
Michael is noticably angry, but restrains himself..
Blink looks to Kirk... then to Michael... stepping away from the People's Champ as she nods.
"And you're actually buying this?" Michael asks Blink. "Plus you think that MAIKU would actually be unselfish enough to align with anyone unless it would benefit him? After all...if I'd be champ, then he'd have to face me, instead of you." Michael throws Blinka cocky smirk.
Kirk looks to Michael. "It does benifit him though. He sees Blink humiliated and pushed down the card, and gets a guaranteed world title shot from you. Two things he'd do ANYTHING to get."
Blink remains looking a bit upset Michael... apparently, she IS buying all of this!
[commentary]
"Listen," Michael begins to tell Blink. "Believe me or not...but you know which of us in the ring is your friend, and which one isn't. Which of us cares about sportsmanship, and which of us doesn't...one of them is me, and one of then is a lying sack of cattle feces who is the probably the REAL one who set MAIKU up to this." Michael points his thumb at Angel. "Besides, MAIKU knows he has no chance at beating me anyway..he has NOTHING to gain."
MAIKU comes out, almost as if on cue, listening to the comments CRMAC made about him being set up, and not being able to BEAT him. He briskly walks to ring side, staring intensely at the participants in this little argument.
"...I was set up to do this, you say?" he says, as he approaches Michael. "What would YOU know about the motivation behind this, anyway? Let me set the record straight, 'CODE RED,'" he says, pushing CRMAC back a bit with one hand. "I had no involvement with this ultra-patriotic halfwit," pointing to Kirk Angel with his other hand. "I would not align myself with him, not for any price. No, the fact of the matter is, I attacked Blink on my own, with no higher sources. Why did I do it, you ask? I now consider her my #1 enemy-- she not only has what I want, but she has incurred my wrath by making a verbal attack on me, making me into a joke-- an object of ridicule. OF COURSE I'd have something against her. Now, I attacked YOU because I had to teach you not to meddle into others' affairs. Unfortunately, Kirk Angel here had to drag himself AND you into this, where neither of you even *belong.*"
Kirk leans over to Blink and whispers in her ear. "See how they hide their teaming so well. If I didn't know the truth, I may have believed them. Course, it's always hard to believe some Muta wannabe."
MAIKU seethes. "I am *not a wannabe...*"
"Well, under that facepaint, he's still the guy that was Steve Lombardi 2001. Straight from the horse's mouth--or perhaps the other end of it--that we aren't conspiring."
MAIKU seethes even more at CRMAC's comment, and looks to be at the breaking point now.
Michael continues, "..but tell me, Blink....what makes him such a reputable source all of a sudden?" Michael stares down Blink.
Blink looks to Kirk... then to Michael. "Y'know something? I think it's time I shut that mouth up right now... God know it needs shutting up..." she draws back her fist towards Michael-- and throw a back kick into Kirk's face!!!
Megan: A back kick from Blink! And Blink swerves Kirk!!
Michael looks at Blink angerly...he lunges at her, Blink ducks a clothesline...Michael drops back to a avoid a dropkick...he bounces off the ropes...Blink sidesteps...SPEAR on MAIKU!!
Megan: What the? Was that on accident? Or on purpose?!
Lilith: It sure looked like Mikey was going after Blink...
Michael gets up off of MAIKU and stalks toward Blink, "Hold on here...YOU take MAIKU...and Kirk is MINE!"
Blink... smiles, high-fiving Michael as she moves in to attack MAIKU!
Megan: Mikey was in on it too!! This was all a plot, a plan--all to get Kirk and MAIKU out here...and why not? Both of them are getting what was coming to them!
Lilith: No kidding...not only are Blink and Mikey delectable dishes--they're smart cookies, too. ^_^
Kirk is getting to his feet, groggily.
Megan: Angel stumbles right into a CONDITION RED from Connelly!!
The crowd pops huge...
Kirk is dropped on his head...then dragged out of the ring by his protogee David Flair, who came down to ringside during the arguments. Kirk is pretty much leaving MAIKU to the wolves.
MAIKU gets to his feet quickly, before rushing at Blink, psychotically screaming "GO TO HELL!" as he prepares to tackle her to the ground.
Blink quickly sidesteps, grabbing MAIKU in a headlock and--
Megan: SWINGBREAKER!! BLINK WITH THE SWINGBREAKER!!
MAIKU, too, rolls out of the ring as he recovers, staring at both the People's Champion and the World Champion as he paces around ringside, brushing hair out of his face.
Blink smirks... and looks to Michael... and reaches out her hand towards him; those who can read lips can tell what she's saying... "No hard feelings?"
"Nope" Michael replies as he shakes her hand and both MAIKU and Kirk exit separately.
Megan: Well, apparently all is right with the world now...Kirk's plan failed, and this friendship is still strong...
Blink and Michael exit the ring..then..
ep, beep*
The sound of a truck backing up is heard as a cement mixer of red Jell-o TM dumps its contents into a specially prepared ring for this unusual...match.
Lilith: WHOO-HOO!! It's the highlight of the night...as least for me...and I can't WAIT for this match!
Megan: Welcome back, everyone...and momentarily you're going to see another example of LG's propensity to book shameless T&A matches on EAW programming...
Lilith: Yeah...isn't he a great president?
Megan: He has some moments...but others like this...well, I don't know.
Lilith: Hey, he made campaign promises...got to stick to 'em!
Megan: Well, we are going to see this...unique match-up momentarily...
"Angel" by Aerosmith cues up..
Lilith: And our first oglee...
"The following contest is a Bowl of Jello Match," the announcer begins, sounding a bit embarrassed. "Introducing first...from St. Louis, Missouri...she stands 5'5" and weighs in at 123 lbs.--Mandy LePew!!"
Megan: Mandy Lepew, who has had a few problems with FETA over the last month or so, seems to be all business tonight...a rather conservative swimsuit-style clothing.
Lilith: Hmph...we, she could come out in nothing, really, as long as he fur covered up all her "parts." Not that I'd want that, but I guess as little she could be wearing, the better.
Megan: Well, expect to see a good match out of this, despite what you may think of the gimmick match itself.
Lilith: Only makes it better, I think....why don't they book me in one of these? Ahem...in case anyone didn't here me...WHY DON'T THEY BOOK ME IN ONE OF THESE?!?!
Megan: Because of your reputation, I gather...at any rate, Mandy climbing over the top, and dropping down into the ring..and..
Lilith: Up to her knees practically in one of the world's most popular desserts, Jell-oTM gelatin!
Megan: Shill, Lil, Shill...
"Lover Boy/Lover Girl" by Lords of Acid cues up, and BG Hyde makes her way out...
"And her opponent...from Newark, New Jersey...standing 6'1" and weighing in at 140 lbs.--'The Perfect Drug,' BG Hyde!!"
Megan: Certainly someone who is a favorite of yours...well, nearly any attractive male or female automatically is one of your favorites. But who is your favorite to win this match?
Lilith: The one who wins.
Megan: Fair enough...
BG climbs over the top to enter the "ring"...
*ding, ding*
Megan: The rules have been revised since this was first booked, as a win can only be obtained by escape, or submission. Some chops from both ladies to start...BG tossed to the ropes...armdrag takeover by Mandy! BG up...backbreaker attempt--blocked--single arm DDT by Hyde!! Hyde pulling her up by the arm...whipping her towards the--over the--MANDY SMACKS THE SIDE of the "bowl." That's a space age-style plastic...nearly unbreakable. And while it's pliable, it's not too soft on the head.
Lilith: Guess it's out for condom material, then..
Megan: Mandy shakes the cobwebs out...backdropped by BG onto the mat and gets covered in that Jell-o!! Hyde going to climb over the top..the sides are slick--Mandy trips her up!! Hyde crotched on the top rope!! Mandy grabs the legs--yanks her off it! But a rather soft landing below. Mandy setting her up for a piledriver--NAILS IT...and she may have force-fed her a large helping of that Jell-O in the process.
Lilith: Well, there's always room.... ^_^
Megan: Mandy hits the ropes--somersault legdrop on Hyde! And Mandy getting ready to climb up...thinking of going for a top rope move...but going all the way up..Hyde up--throws her body at the side wall!! Mandy losing her footing--comes crashing down into the ring!!
Lilith: Well, couldn't have hurt...but are zoots machine-wash? Or dry clean only?
Megan: Neither I think...I believe Mandy would just have to shower...and BG mounting Mandy...laying in some rights as she straddles her...Mandy rolls on top!! Returning the favor...
Lilith: CAAAAAAAAAATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!! CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiii..!!!
The glass of water Megan had beside her shatters...
Megan: LILITH!!
Lilith: Oops...I was trying to say it as high as Styles--guess I went too high. ^_^
Megan: Indeed...good thing that the sides of that plastic casing wasn't glass, or we'd have a real mess on our hands.
Lilith: Plus we couldn't eat the Jello. :(
Megan: BG taking control now, slamming the back of Mandy's head into the mat...which is under there somewhere...and I don't think Mandy can breathe under Jell-o, so she either has to free herself or give it up.
Lilith: I know I'd "give it up" to BG...but Mandy's not that kind of zoot-person.
Megan: Well, most people believe those rumors about BG...but let's just concentrate on this match. BG pulls Mandy up to her feet..cinches her up for a suplex...but she blocks it...hiptosses Hyde over! BG up...the two tie up...Mandy whips BG...BG hits the ropes..duck down--sunset flip by BG! By no-go...there are no pinfalls in this match. A great way to prevent a move by Mandy, though. BG up...Mandy goes for a clothesline...BG ducks--inverted Atomic Drop by BG!! And BG grabs Mandy by the stripes! Goes to ram her again to that plastic wall--foot up, Mandy blocks it--BG has her belfry rung!! And WHAM off it again!! Mandy sends BG to the corner...and...she's gonna go for it...she could slip but...yes!! Back Spring Elbow Smash!! BG stumbles out of it...and--drop toe hold! Another mouthful of that Jell-O for BG!! And Mandy going for the finish now...climbing up the top rope...using it to boost herself up...and Hyde getting up groggily...climbing up...she's gonna throw her off the top again!! No!!--BACKBREAKER OFF THE TOP ROPE BY BG HYDE!!!
Lilith: YeOWTCH!! I'd rather be S&M the last time BG was with them then go through that move!
Megan: BG may have this wrapped up now for sure...and she's...opting not to climb? Yes...she's...going for a submission!!
Lilith: Wha?
Megan: Hyde locking her up...and...YES...MEXICAN SURFBOARD!!! And no where to go!! BG bound and determined to win by submission here...
Lilith: Well, I don't think she's bound...she's usually the one doing the bind-ing.
Megan: And Mandy fights her way out of it!! Unbelievable...BG getting up to her feet...side backbreaker att--no, blocked!! Axehandle to the back of Hyde! And Mandy pulls her up...snapmare! Up again...lays her out with a suplex!!
Lilith: That could be...yes! Perfect positioning! She's gonna go up top...get your cameras ready...cut that top looks a little loose...
Megan: Mandy on the top rope...THE SWANTON BOMB!!
Lilith: WHOA!!! That was cool...you get a shot of that!?! I believe they did..Mandy dragging BG into the center of the ring...going for the Walls of Jericho now!! Turning her..albeit with difficult--but BG shoving her off with her feet....Mandy back up quickly...BG charges her--Mandy catches her...drops her onto the ropes again!! And BG falls between the ropes and the wall...Mandy going for a suplex now...reversed..BG snaps her throat down on the ropes!! Getting back in the ring now...pulls up Mandy--front suplex across the ropes...BG attemping a suplex now...tie up between the two...Mandy overpowering her...knee to the midsection by BG!! A pair of them...BG bounces off the opposite ropes--SPEAR to the midsection of MANDY!!
A load smack is heard on the impact.
Megan: BG going up to the top...onto Mandy...using Mandy to boost herself out...and...Mandy reaches for the foot...but BG over--she drops to the floor!!
*ding, ding*
"Lover Boy/Lover Girl" by Lords of Acid begins to play...
"The winner of this match up..by escape...'The Perfect Drug' BG Hyde!!"
Lilith: Oh pooh...and I was hoping for the zootie cutie to pull this one off...
Megan: I thought you didn't have a favorite?
Lilith: Well, I wanted BG to win too, so it's only half a disappointment...oh well. ^_^
Megan: Well, Crash Holly and Raven are set to battle Extreme style next...so don't miss that one...see you after these words from our sponsors!
Lilith: Buy their products! SHILL SHILL!!
**Commercial Break**
We open up backstage as we find Rash, wearing a USA-Flag print T-Shirt and Baby wearing jeans and a red and white bikini top.
Rash: Ladies and Gentlemen, you probably are wondering what are we doing back so soon. Well, Mobius is a nice place to be. I mean, all of the Mobian gals were all over me. I mean, what can I say. They just love a smooth guy. Everything else went great, except when a certain Echinda thought that I was going to steal some type of Emerald and used some type of magic on me...damn that hurt! Anyways, when we heard about the incident, thanks to a certain country which we don't know for sure, except that it's in somewhere in the Mid East. So as soon as I dropped Baby off(I had to keep her safe, otherwise Mikey would kill me), I went down in Arab territory, and guess what happened? I found this fool parading around about the bombing. All right boys. Bring him out here!
The Symbiote Squad then proceeds to bring out a man, who appears to be Palestinian, wearing nothing but jeans and a battered T-Shirt.
Rash: Well, well, well... look what we have here. Sooooooo...you thought that it was all fun and games that we got bombed, didn't you?
The Palestinian nervously shakes his head no, looking for mercy as Pest now gets into his face.
Rash: Didn't you know that a bunch of innocent people were in that tower that got bombed? Did you know that the majority were mostly mommies and daddies? Thanks to your friends, all of the children of those dead people ARE NOW DEAD, YOU SUNNAVABITCH!
The Palestinian man now says somethings in Arabic.
Rash: What'd he say, Pest.
Pest: I don't think that you'd want to know, compadre.
Rash: C'mon, Pest. Spill it.
Pest: He said, in his own words, "SO WHAT? THAT LESS FOR US TO WORRY ABOUT!"
Rash: Oh, he did, did he?
The man is now scared, probably regreting saying what he just said. Rash then walks up to him.
Rash: *calmly* Now buddy, don't be too hasty. Picture this what if it was your family in that same tower. Then you wouldn't be celabrating then, now would you? Now for our people, millons, and millons of innocents died, not only in that tower, not only in the Pentagon, but on the plane. And worst of all, most of them contained Sweedish Babes. *voice raises up a bit* Hawt, Hawt Sweedish Babes, who were going to make it big in the good ole US of A. But now their dead, thanks to those damn terrorists. Did those people deserved to die? Did those families deserved to suffer the loss of their loved ones? Did those kids deserved to be orphaned and lost their mommies and daddies? And most of all, did those innocent, cute Swedish Babes deserved to die? NO THEY *Bleep!*-ING DIDN'T!
Pop from the crowd.
Rash: Now, as of a result to your possible involvement with this whole thing, you must pay the price.
The man now frantically speaks in Arabic.
Rash: What's he sayin' now?
Pest: He's saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't kill me! Please! I have a wife and 12 children to feed!"
Rash now thinks a moment, probably feeling some symphathy for him.
Rash: Hmm...what you said has made me feel a little bit...guilty. Maybe I'm wrong for abducting you, maybe I'm wrong for having my buddies torture you for the past few days. But you know what....YOU'RE STILL GONNA GET YOUR ASS KICKED!
Rash and the Symbiote Squad then proceeds to give the poor man a vicious beating. And when the dust clears, the man is heavily bleeding.
Rash: Let this be a message to everyone else around the world: DON'T *Bleep!* WITH AMERICA!
**Commercial Break**
"Supercharger Heaven" cues up as Raven makes his way down with a shopping cart full of weapons. Then, "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" cues up as Crash makes his way down with his trademark Scale. The match starts off with the two trading right hands. Then Raven counters a shot from Crash and gives him a snap suplex. He then picks him up and gives him a piledriver. Raven goes for another one, but Crash flips him over. Crash now goes outside and grabs a chair in an attempt to hit Raven, but Raven ducks and then nails Crash with a clothesline. Raven now picks up Crash and Irish Whips him, and on the return, drops him in a drop toe hold onto the chair. Raven goes for the pin, but is only ¾ away from a 3 count. Raven now give multiple Chair shots to Crash, and then pins him again, but Crash kicks out. Frustrated, Raven goes for another chair shot, but Crash drop kicks the chair in his face. Crash now proceeds to hammer away on Raven. Then, he picks him up, going for a running powerslam, but Raven slides behind him, and Irish Whips him to the corner. Raven now sets him up on the top turnbuckle as he goes for a superplex, but Crash counters as he knocks him down. He then jumps off and hits the C2 for the 1-2-3!
**Commercial Break**
Megan: We're back, folks!
Lilith: Nah, your front looks much better. ^_^
Megan: ... Right. Anyhow, it's time for our EAW International Title match!
"Awake" by Godsmack cues up and out comes the EAW International belt over his shoulder. The fans cheer for the young Japanese superstar as he heads to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope, then kipping up to his feet, raising the title belt high in the air.
Megan: Kairi looks fired up here tonight, Lilith! This International Title holder may have not been able to defend his belt very often, but there's no doubting his skills!
Lilith: Hmmm... eight inches.
Megan: ... Huh?
Lilith: Eight inches. I think that's how long he is. ^_^ Hey, flash him your puppies and we'll find out--
Megan: *o_O;* No!
Lilith: Aww, poopie.
"Awake" fades out, and "Strobe's Nanafushi (Satori Mix)" cues up quickly. Out comes Black Widow, dressed in her new white/black ninja outfit... and coming out alone!
Lilith: Yaayyy, my girl Oseiko! Hmm... hey, no Michael? No Ibuki?! What gives?
Megan: I guess this is something Oseiko has to do on her own, not that she needs any help... but still, Oseiko IS going up against a champion in Kairi! Can she defeat him? We'll see in just a few moments!
Oseiko leaps into the ring, and drops to her knees in the corner, her hands gesturing intricate ninja hand gestures as her head is bowed, eyes closed, keeping in focus. Suddenly the bell rings...
Megan: Oseiko quickly jumps up to her feet as Kairi moves in... Oseiko bows and Kairi does the same... good show of sportsmanship there... tie-up-- NO! COUNTER INTO AN ARMBAR! And Oseiko releases it. Wha--?
Lilith: I don't think Oseiko's thinking like a wrestler here...
Megan: I think you're right... and Kairi realizes it too! Wow, it looks like we're going to see a full-blown martial arts match here tonight!!
What happens next are a sequence of moves that are too fast for Lilith or Megan to call, as Oseiko throws a swift kick at Kairi, who absorbs the blow and throws a kick of his own. Oseiko ducks over it and throws a fast flip kick into Kairi's jaw, knocking him back. Kairi lands on his back, but kippups and grabs the landing Black Widow for a throw, but she counters the throw, arm wrenching Kairi down, throwing a rolling heel kick to the back of his head and jumping back.
Lilith: O_O! Whoa!
Megan: A brilliant show of martial arts skills by Black Widow! Kairi's supposed to be a martial artist too but I think he was taken aback by how well schooled Oseiko was!
Lilith: Well, she WAS taught by Ibuki herself, and she's a Street Fighter, too! ^_^
Megan: True enough... Kairi advances! SIDE KICK--COUNTERED BY OSEIKO! NO! REVERSE ENZIGURI BY KAIRI! And Oseiko's down! Kairi now up... SOMERSAULT LEG DROP INTO THE BACK OF OSEIKO'S HEAD!
Lilith: Harlem Hangover!!
Megan: Kairi covers! One! But that's all Kairi gets from her! It's still too early in this matchup to try to pin anyone yet! Kairi picks Widow up by the head and throws a stiff-looking kick-- WAIT, WIDOW COUNTERS!! AND-- FROM OUT OF NOWHERE, THE KUMO NO AMIMONO!! Kairi gets to the ropes and Widow breaks the hold... wow, Oseiko's really doing well here!
Lilith: Yeah... dude, I think she's in the ninja zone or something, she hasn't really lost her focus at all here!
Megan: I think you're right! But Kairi may get a little desperate here if he can't break through Black Widow's defenses. If he loses the match, he loses the title! Kairi attacks! Spin kick blocked by Widow-- OH, BUT KAIRI COUNTERS THE BlOCK WITH A LEG SWEEP! OSEIKO'S STUCK IN A FORWARD SPLITS! AND NOW KAIRI LOCKS IN A MODIFIED INVERTED STF!!
Lilith: Oseiko's gotta be lucky she doesn't have a cherry anymore. That'd definetly pop it. =/
Megan: And it's quite painful!! You can tell from the look in her eyes! And I don't think she can break free of the hold with the way she's positioned!! But she's not tapping!! She's refusing to tap!! Kairi breaks the hold, grabs her leg... and rams it knee-first to the mat! And again! Sound strategy from Kairi, weakening the Widow's strongest points of attack, her legs! Kairi picks Widow up... and... BLACK THUNDER!! COVER! One! Two! And Widow kicks out!
Lilith: She's showin' that ninja spirit, Megan! She's not gonna give up without a fight!
Megan: Kairi with a leg drop, keeping Widow down... he's climbing the top rope! Is it-- YES!! AIR LYGER!!! AND-- IMPACT!!! FOR THE WIN! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!! WIDOW GETS A SHOULDER UP!!!
Lilith: Woot! ^_^ d
Megan: Kairi picks Widow up... looks like the Lygerspike coming up... Widow blocks!! And again!! And-- KUMOUCHIKOMU!!! And now both Kairi and Widow are down!! Referee Mike Chioda going for the ten count...
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Megan: I think Widow's moving... she's got an arm over Kairi's chest! COVER! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!
Lilith: AGH! >_< SO CLOSE!!
Megan: Widow's woozy but she manages to get Kairi up... she sets him up... could it be the Kumo No Sasu?! YE--NO!!! KAIRI WITH A KICK OF HIS OWN SENDING WIDOW OUT OF THE RING!! OWCH!!
Lilith: And Oseiko is now in a lower reading level! Thank you, drive through!! Whoa--!!
Megan: Widow recovered pretty quickly... she just climbed up to the top rope! What's she-- WHOA!!!
Lilith: Wouldja lookitdat!!
Megan: Black Widow with a new move!! Like a modified Kid Krusher off the top rope!! Widow with a cover!! One! Two! THREE!! MY GOD!! WE HAVE A NEW EAW INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION!!!
Winner and NEW EAW International Champion: Black Widow
Megan: Widow seems pretty happy with herself that she won the title! Now she's helping Kairi up... what a good sportsman she is... and--!!!
Lilith: WHAT THE HELL?!
Megan: KUMO NO SASU ON KAIRI?!?!!! BUT WIDOW'S ALREADY BEATEN KAIRI!!! WHY?!!!
Lilith: She's not done yet!! LOOK OUT!!
Megan: KUMOUCHIKOMU!!! THIS... THIS IS INSANE!! WHY IS WIDOW DOING THIS?! And now... what's she doing?!
What Black Widow appears to be doing is applying a single-leg boston crab, leaning back and trapping Kairi's face in the crook of her arm, pulling on both his leg and head at the same time!
Megan: ANOTHER NEW MOVE FROM WIDOW!! BUT SHE'S ALREADY WON THE MATCH!! SHE'S BEATEN KAIRI, SHE'S THE NEW INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION!!! WHY THE HELL IS SHE DOING THIS!!
Lilith: ... ;.; ... My God and Devil... Oseiko's turned heel!! I never thought I'd see the day!
Megan: Oseiko's finally released the hold, then looks at the International title laying on the mat... she's not even picking it up! She's sliding out of the ring... thank God that carnage is over... oh no...
Lilith: She just climbed out of the ring! What, she just remembered she's champion, now?
Black Widow looks to the injured Kairi, then the International title, then goes to the referee, speaking to him.
Megan: Is Oseiko going to attack Mike Chioda now?! ... Wait, no she isn't! This isn't making any sen-- WAIT!! KAIRI'S GRABBED OSEIKO!!! AND-- LYGERSPIKE!!! LYGERSPIKE ON BLACK WIDOW!!! But still, the damage is done!! Kairi lost the EAW International title to Black Widow! And... from the looks of things, the Black Widow has shown her true colors!! We're going to take a commercial break! We'll be right back!
***
If The World Was Run By Billy Gunn
By Troublemaker
If the world was run by Billy Gunn,
Everyone would have too much fun.
They'd show their asses and be the One
If the world was run by Billy Gunn.
If the world was run by Billy Gunn,
I'd explode with the runs.
Because if the world was run by Billy Gunn,
The turnips would scream and run into the sun.
If the world was run by Billy Gunn,
I'd find more words that rhymed with "gunn."
But there's no point, 'cause I'm already done.
If the world was run by Billy Gunn.
***
Megan: We're back... and... well, if you just joined us, we... well, apparently, we DON'T have a new EAW International champion, because Black Widow has refused to take the title!
Lilith: Okay, this is getting weird... but check it out for yourself! Michael Cole caught up with Oseiko during the break!
Scene switch to Cole and a hurt Oseiko, holding an ice pack to her head.
Cole: Black Widow, how can you justify your actions here tonight?!
BW: ... N... Nani...?!
Cole: Black Widow, after winning the EAW International title, you visciously attacked Kairi for no reason!!
BW: ... Ano... I... I'd never... I'd never do such a thing... I didn't win the International title... Kairi's still champion, I... I... I have to go... interview's over...
Black Widow shoves Michael Cole out of the dressing room and slams the door shut. Scene switch back to Megan and Lilith.
Megan: And that's it... Oseiko, Michael Connelly, and Ibuki all left the arena afterwards... but clearly Oseiko's behavior is puzzling!
Lilith: No kidding! Attacking Kairi after winning the title... then saying she DIDN'T do either?! I dunno... =/
**Commercial Break**
We come back from break, where "Also Sprach Zarathustra" cues up...
Megan: Welcome everyone...we're back from break, and comng up next...a grudge match. Ric Flair's son versus his protege in a Hardcore Match.
Lilith: Isn't the correct name an "Extreme Rules Match?"
Megan: Well, for the EAW, yeah, but let's humor David.
"And now...the main event. The following match will take place under Hardcore rules with TV time remaining. Introducing first, accompanied by Kirk Angel--from Minneapolis, MN, standing 6'1 and weighing in at 177 lbs--David Flair!!!"
David comes out, with his crowbar in one hand and carrying a trash can full of weapons over his shoulder with the other.
Megan: Would you look at David Flair's face? The lights are on but I think there's a vacancy sign in there.
Lilith: Well, at least he takes after his dad in at least one way--chasin' tail! You see the spooky cuties he was with?
Megan: Yeah...a pair of regular "ghouls next door."
David tosses the trash can into the ring, and climbs inside, doing a strut a la his father.
"Primal Concrete Sledge" by Pantera then cues up...
Megan: And you got to think the deck is stacked against David Flair tonight...and how foolish it was for him to make that kind of challenge..
Lilith: Well, few people know how to handle large blunt objects like Hunter....but David's got one thing Hunter doesn't.
Megan: And that is?
Lilith: All of his screws loose. ^_^
Megan: Point...David's obviously going to be more likely to take high risks in this contest...
"And his opponent, from Greenwich, Connecticut...accompanied by Hera...he stands 6'4" and weighs in at 250 lbs...'The Decadent' Hunter Hearst Helmsley!!"
Hunter makes his way out, Hera close behind. He has a sledgehammer in each hand...and it appears as if he has the hard metal kneebraces he'd used against Sonnette a month or so ago.
Lilith: Hunter seems to have all the right tools for the job. ^_^
Megan: And compared to Hunter, David does resemble a railroad spike.
Lilith: Well, maybe he'll smack him until he's right again..who knows?
Hunter gets in the right, and stares down at David...he then takes a glance over to Kirk...and the two seem to get in an argument...Hunter pops Kirk the finger (and the crowd pops as well).
*ding, ding*
Megan: The match has started...and Kirk not at all keen on--DAVID SCHOOLBOYS HELMSLEY!!
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ONE!
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TW--NO! And David trying to squeak an early win..so apparently he's not too foolish. Hunter right back up now--shrugs off a clothesline from David...hits the ropes..comes back--knee into the midsection!! And Hunter dumping out that can of weapons--slams it down onto the back of David! David down on all fours...Hunter continuing to assault him with that aluminum waste receptacle!!!
Lilith: That's odd...looks like a trashcan to me.
Megan: Hunter pulls David up...sends him hard into the corner now...Hunter charging in--FOOT UP!! And Hunter gets a boot right into the groin!
Lilith: *winces* Why can't two guys fight in matches like this and leave each other's equipment alone?
Megan: Well, attacking that area can turn a match around...and David grabbing the lead pipe--walloping the back of the knee on Helmsley!! And again there....dragging the leg over to the ropes...down across the first rope...boosts himself up--the weight of David Flair crashing down upon that leg!
Lilith: Kinda odd they always go after his knee...
Megan: Well, he's had a history of problems with that knee, plus he uses it offensively...Hunter up now...David going for a suplex now...no--blocked...Helmsley suplexes him--ONTO THAT SLEDGEHAMMER!!!
Lilith: YOW!! That could have damaged a vertebrae.
Megan: Well, from my vantage point, more likely the kidneys...but Hunter likely to follow up either way...pulling the sledgehammer from underneath him--slamming it down into the kidney area!! The midsection!! And...he's gonna tee off--wacks David into the knee with it...as almost payback there.
Lilith: Yup...iiiiiiiit's hammer time!!
Megan: And he's not...he can't?!?! Hunter about to--David avoids the shot to the groin with that sledgehammer!! And Hunter nearly punched a hole in the mat!! David up against the ropes--a shot by Hunter--that sledgehammer caught in the ropes...thumb to the eye from David!! And a LOW BLOW follows up!! David now looking to follow up...and there's the neckbreaker!! Cover by David!
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ONE!
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Tw--no!
Lilith: Well, Hunter almost snuffed out the chance of Ric having grandchildren...well, at least until Reid reaches his reproductive years. ^_^
Megan: Well, I guess I underestimated how reckless Hunter could be...none-the-less, David taking it to him for the moment now...wisely going for that stop sign now...Hunter up--DAVID WALLOPS him in the back of the head!!
Lilith: I think he wants Hunter to STOP!
Megan: He stopped him alright...now taking that cheese grater...and...grinding it along the forehead of Helmsley!!
Lilith: What the hell? He's a beefcake, not a cheesecake!
Megan: I'll skip the obvious Ed Leslie joke...and Hunter appears to be bleeding! David stomping away on the back of the knee...grapevines it now--drops his weight upon the knee and into the stop sign!!
Lilith: Something I don't think Daddy did in all his days wrestling...
Megan: Well, he's had Hardcore matches, but back then they didn't call them that...and they didn't use stop signs I don't think...and David covers Helmsley...
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ONE!
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TWO!
Kickout again!
Lilith: Well, he's doing damage, but hasn't hit anything with enough power to keep him from kicking out.
Megan: Well, he's going up top the second rope with that crowbar...aiming at the knee--diving crowbar attack to the knee of Helmsley!! Helmsley rolls out to the ring...
Lilith: Just to clarify, he's not running...he's just plotting.
Megan: Well, I should hope so...Hunter deferring with Hera..DAVID SLINGING OVER THE TOP!!
Lilith: CAUGHT!!
Megan: Hunter now...coming OVER HERE and POWERSLAMS David onto our announce table!!
Lilith: Hunter grabbing your water...and--smashes it into the head of David!!
Megan: That's the second one I've lost tonight...at least it wasn't fine china. And Hunter hammering away on David...Hunter reaching in now...grabbing that WCW replica title belt...up on the apron now--dives off--DOWN ACROSS THE HEAD OF DAVID FLAIR!! And that snapped his head back violently!!
Lilith: Poor Davey...
Megan: Hunter covering David on the announce table...
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One!
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TWO!
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Kickout!
Lilith: Wow...David's tougher than we give him credit for.
Megan: Well, from our vantage point we can tell that that glass busted David open...and Hunter drags him off the announce table...setting him up for a suplex--FRONT SUPLEX ONTO THE APRON!! David is hurting...and getting up to his feet now...Hunter going after hi--kicked to the head of Helmsley...Helmsley knocked back--DROPKICK FROM THE APRON onto Helmsley!! David Flair up...pulls up Helmsley..rolling him back in now...but Hunter still on the apron...climbing up now--David jerks the feet from under Helmsley--HELMSLEY LANDS ON HIS JAW ON THE APRON!!
Lilith: Dentistry--Isaac Yankem style.
Megan: David setting up now...and...DDT from the apron to the floor!!
Lilith: To quote Daffney--"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"..thank you.
Megan: You're welcome. David rolling over for the cover...
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One!
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Two!
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.--Kickout!!
Lilith: Incredible!!
Megan: Hunter pulled up now...and going for a scoop slam...having problems getting Hunter up..Hunter lands behind...rams his abdominals to the apron...now Hunter setting him on the apron...getting up..and...this CAN'T BE?! GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE APRON!!--
*KRRRRUNCH!!!*
Lilith: Aye-che-wawa...Hunter killed David!! Hunter killed David!!
Megan: I don't know...I think he's still moving...but he sure killed our announce table...I guess I shouldn't have complained about my glass.
Lilith: Well, when I hit that high note...your glasses..?
Megan: The lenses weren't glass, thankfully...but both Hunter and David seems to be down here...and we haven't seen much wrestling out of either one here--but we didn't expect that...Hunter is the first up...and David still lying in a crumpled heap of rubble..but...why's Hunter digging under the apron?
Lilith: Well, you know what that means?
Megan: I'm afraid so...
Hunter slides a table out from under the apron.
Lilith: TABLE TIME!!
Megan: Oh..this is ridiculous!! Hunter can't be thinking of doing that after that suplex through our announce table.
Lilith: Thinking it? He's preparing for it!
Megan: Hunter sliding that table in...and Hunter pulls David out of this mess by the hair...rolls him onto the apron again...but....grabbing his legs...dragging him towards that ringpost...he's about to--CROTCHES HIM on it!! And David trying to crawl away on his stomach...but Hunter grabbing him..pulls him back...locks the legs around the ringpost..and? What's he doing?
Lilith: If David wasn't face down, I'd think the Figure Four...
Megan: Now getting IN the ring now...and..by the corner now...and...SHARPSHOOTER!! IN THE CORNER!!!! DAVID FLAIR IN THE SHARPSHOOTER!!!
Lilith: That's it...he's done. ^_^
Megan: He's either too brave, too determined, or too stupid to give it up right here...
Lilith: I'll go with C, myself.
Megan: And Hunter letting go of the hold...he wants to make sure he makes good use of that table...
Lilith: Well, he could just take Hera on it.
Megan: Well, I think he has other plans in mind...Hunter setting up David now...REVERSAL?!?! David slips between the legs of Helmsley...backslide attempt...Helmsley overpowering--MULE KICK by David!! Hunter spun around...KNIFE EDGE CHOP!!!
"WHOOO!! WHOOOO!!...WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Megan: David fighting for his life...and limping...and that back doesn't look so great either. Yet...he's going at Hunter with everything left...set up now--PILEDRIVER ON HELMSLEY!! Desparation move!! But he pulled it off!! COVER!
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ONE!
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TWO!
NO!! SHOULDER UP!! SHOULDER UP!!
Lilith: Yeesh...I guess you can't keep a Flair down, though...he's already up again..and...setting up the table?!
Megan: Well, that would about seal it for David...now...a Diamond Cutter?! David goes for the Diamond Cutter!!--no, Hunter blocks it!! He sends David to the ropes...HIGH KNEE connects!
Lilith: If he were the Bootyman, that would do it!!
Megan: Well, Hunter moving that table to suit his purposes...David crawling on his knees...backing off...Hunter goes for him--LOW BLOW...another one by David!! David up to his feet...and...he's...actually...going to try--HE DID!! BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!!
Lilith: Whoa...looks like he picked that up from Angel...
Megan: And Helmsley rolled onto that table...it's do or die now...but he should probably go for the cover instead...
Lilith: Whoa...could this be a moonsault? From DAVID FLAIR?!Megan: And David on the very top...Hunter trying to pull himself off that table..and...DAVID OFFTHETOPWITHTHEMOONSAULT!!
*KRUNCH!!*
Lilith: WHOA?! I didn't know David could do that...
Megan: He just did...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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AAAAAaaaand NO!!
Lilith: *whew* That was close...being pinned by David Flair..now THAT's embarrasing.
Megan: Hunter up to his feet...David goes for the Irish Whip...reversal by Hunter...David into the ropes...CLOTHESLINE!!! Hunter up again...David goes for anoth--no, hiptoss by Hunter...and a backdrop onto the stop sign!!
Lilith: Whoa...major pain there...eep...
Megan: Hunter getting up now...David struggling up...slugfest...Helmsley takes over...whip again--reversal by David...stopped short with a clothesline by Helmsley!! And David getting up now--Hunter with the set up...PEDIGREE!! Onto the stop sign!!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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THREE!!
*ding, ding*
"Primal Concrete Sledge" by Pantera begins again.
Megan: And Hunter picking up the win on David Flair...but David actually impressed me tonight...you, Lilith?
Lilith: Well, he bagged a babe like Stacey Kiebler..so I was impressed with him over a year ago. ^_^
Megan: Well, considering your priorties, I shouldn't be surprised...thank you for being with us tonight for Mayhem...and see you next time!!
Fade...