We cut LIVE to the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, PA.

Signs in the crowd tonight include: "Tear his quad, Mikey!" "Brock Lesnar Ate My Family," "RVD 4:20" "David shall RESPECT the 'Taker""I'M COMING AFTER ME, JIM!!" "HHH fears brevity" "Heyman (heart)'s watching Brock work out" "Neuter Nexus Now!" and "I want a Whattaburger with a slice of poontang pie"

Megan: Welcome everyone, to the last EAW show before the huge, HUGE Summerslam/Holy Wars weekend! Tonights show will showcase 3 WWE Raw stars, taking on some tough EAW competition.

Paul: Of course, the BIGGEST STAR in WWE is on Smackdown...in fact..

Megan: Hm?

Paul: Well, just a little surprise in store for later...

Megan:...riiight. Well, we have a great show in store, except for one match...Oseiko, get well soon.

Heyman: Yeah...sure. Let's get started!

One of a Kind" by Breaking Point cues up as we come back from break...

Fireworks...

And Rob Van Dam makes his entrance.

Megan: And we start off with a match that could very well be a showstealer here in Rob Van Dam vs. Hokuto Lyger.

Paul: NO, Megan...R-V-D, like him or not, is the WHOLE...*BLEEP*in'...SHOW!

Megan: Paul with lingering attachment to one of his most prized former employees.

Paul: Brock would DESTROY him, though.

Megan: Just not THAT attached...

Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 10 minute time limit. Introducing first, from Battle Creek, Michigan...he stands six foot even and weighs in at 220 pounds...WWE Raw's...ROB--VAN--DAM!

The fans chant along with the name as it's announced. RVD does some showboating...

"Voices" from the Macross Plus soundtrack cues up, and Hokuto comes out next; she is in a blue, white, and red version of her ring attire instead of the regular all-black.

Capetta: And his opponent...from Kyoto, Japan...she stands 5'4" and weighs in at 129 pounds...HOKUTO LYGER!

Megan: These two both have a background in martial arts before turning to wrestling, favor a high-flying style, and exceptional talent. Any favorites in this match, Paul?

Paul: I'd say Rob, but I could REALLY care less if he wins in the long run. I'm more concerned about Brock at Sum--

Megan: We know, we know--Summerslam.

Paul: Right...

Megan: Hokuto to the ring now, and a slight bow to RVD. And we're about to see--

*ding, ding*

Megan: --hot action right out of the gate! Hokuto immeditately attacking with palm thrusts now--goes to whip RVD--blocks it--spin kick into the midsection--DROPKICK into the chest! Hokuto up, and arm drags RVD. RVD back up, and off the ropes--spin kick into the stomach--RVD going to the headlock--bouncing off--Hokuto shoots herself free--criss cross--leap frog by RVD! Hokuto catching the ropes--SHOOTS OFF with a back elbow to the jaw! Both up, Hokuto goes for a leg lariat---missed...RVD to the ropes--MONKEY FLIP sends her down...back up--SWEEP KICK jumped over by Hokuto--FLIPPING DROPKICK by Van Dam! To the ropes by both--DOUBLE CROSS BODY with Hokuto taking the brunt of it!! But into the cover...

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ONE!--Kickout! RVD up--spin kick--caught--DRAGON SCREW!! RVD down to the mat--back up--arm drag again by Hokuto--INTO THE ARM SCREW!! Goes for the back heel kick--caught by Van Dam--SUPLEXES HER OVER HIS SHOULDER--back up--defensive position as the audience applauds!!

Paul: WHOO-HOOO!! GO RV--er...whatever.

Megan: No need to be ashamed, Paul. =P RVD and Hokuto squaring off...into the wristlock--knee into the midsection, and Hokuto setting up RVD--LYGER BOM--RVD landing behind--side kick into the back of the head. Hokuto stunned, and RVD slings her into the ropes--tilt a whirl--REVERSED into a HEADSCISSORS!!

Paul: Beautiful counter there by Hokuto, and cover by Hokuto!

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ONE!

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KICKOUT!

Megan: Hokuto back up, and sends RVD into the ropes...series of Shoteis, and climbing up top--RVD though--POWERBOMBS her on the attempted Hurracanrana!

Megan: Springing up to the ropes in one fluid motion--CORKSCREW GUILLOTINE LEGDROP on Hokuto!!

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ONE!

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TWO!!--Hokuto gets the shoulder up!

Paul: RVD picking her up...agains the ropes now--CLOTHESLINE to the outside! Hokuto up--ROB VAN DAM TO THE FAR ROPES--NO HANDS PLANCHA! And no one--but NO ONE--gets higher than ROB VAN DAM!!

Megan: Really, and you've met Booker Wolf? =P

Paul: Okay, ALMOST no one.

Megan: This match spilling out of the ring, and RVD whipping Hokuto towards the stairs--NO--leaping up on it--springing off of it with a moonsault onto RVD! Not high enough of an altitude to KEEP him down...back up--and shoteis from Hokuto...Chuugeki Hou--the SHOUGEKI HA!! RVD collides with the apron with the base of his spine, and Hokuto turning this around in a hurry...springing up to the top rope...and a CROSS BODY from the top rope onto RVD!!

Paul: And Hokuto dragging the stairs away from the corner of the ring, and setting it up near the safety railing. Irish Whip--NO--RVD reverses--and Hokuto tumbles into the crowd! Running start--up the stairs--RVD FLIES and hits Hokuto!! It's fan appreciation night as RVD mingles with the spectators!

Megan: Scooping up Hokuto, and slams back-first onto the steps...RVD springing up on the top of the railing...careful to keep his balance..and a running CORKSCREW LEGDROP across the throat on Hokuto! Those legdrop variations are practically as much as an RVD staple as knee-related moves for Triple H.

Paul: RVD picking up Hokuto to send her back into the ring--he cannot get the win out here on the floor...Hokuto rolled in--RVD showboating--Hokuto back up--kick to the back of the head! RVD turns around--Hokuto catches him, and a SUPLEX into the ring!! Pulls RVD up by the arm...yanking down hard..and the wristlock...up to the top now...the praying rope walk--and DRIVES the elbow down into the shoulder joint! Going for a cross armbreaker--NO--RVD slipping free--crescent kick--sets her up--and a SITOUT POWERBOMB!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

Megan: Hokuto picked up--JAWBREAKER by Hokuto stops him--shoteis by Hokuto--blocked by RVD--goes into a backslide--

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ONE!

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TWO!

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..KICKOUT!! RVD pulls her up--to the ropes--ASAI--REVERSE DDT!! RVD planted, and a rolling kick sends RVD down after the kippup...Hokuto out to the apron...springboard--INTO A SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! The count--

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ONE!

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TWO!

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...KICKOUT!!

Paul: AMAZING!! Hokuto picking him up--suplex attempt--RVD HOOKING FOR FOR A FISHERMAN'S SUPLEX--blocked--headbutts by Hokuto. Shoteis staggering RVD...whip now--reversed...RVD whips her into the corner--CHARGING SHOULDER..another one--backflip--and a THIRD!! Hiptosses Hokuto out of the corner...hits the ropes..and the ROLLING THUNDER!!--

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ONE!

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TWO!

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...NO!!

Megan: Hokuto up now--RVD sends her to the ropes--boosted--DROPKICK into the chest puts RVD down--back up--DROP TOE HOLD stops the charging RVD..shoulder wrench as Hokuto sends him down, and fired into the corner...charging in--and hoists RVD onto the top rope--GERMAN SUPLEX nicely down. Hokuto nimbly springing up on the top rope--PHEONIX SPLASH!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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HUH?! RVD KICKS OUT!!

Paul: This is the kind of resilence that made RVD nigh-impossible to defeat for the TV title, and Hokuto looking perhaps a bit frustrated. Picking up Van Dam--looks like a version of the swinging bulldo--RVD WITH A BACKDROP!! CORKSCREW LEGDROP!! STANDING MOONSAULT no!!Megan: RVD springing up onto the top rope--SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT onto Hokuto!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

Paul: SO CLOSE there, and RVD up quickly. Set up for a snap suplex--Hokuto blocks--counters into an armbar! RVD reaching for the ropes...and fighting his way towards them...gets the break! Back up--Hokuto grabbing the leg--RVD counters with the Enzui Giri! Pulling up Hokuto now, and whipping her into the corner--kicks into the midsection, and spinning back kick to the chest!

Megan: Setting her up on the top rope--could be a superplex coming up--NO! Hokuto standing up on the top rope--battling each other--SPRINGBOARD ARM DRAG by Hokuto!! RVD taken down to the mat--leaping on top of his shoulders as he gets up--and THE KEISHUKOU!! Hokuto nearest to the ropes, and RVD not having a hard time getting to the other set...

Paul: TRYING TO POWER UP B--and there's the tap!

Megan: HOKUTO HAS JUST BEATEN ROB--VAN--DAM!!

*ding, ding*

"Voices" plays again...

Capetta: Here is your winner...by submission...HOKUTO LYGER!!

Megan: Hokuto gets the win--VEGA DROPPING DOWN FROM THE RAFTERS BEHIND HOKUTO!--GERMAN SUPLEX!! AND ANOTHER!!...THREE IN A ROW!! Vega with a cocky bow now..

Paul: HOKUTO BACK UP...and...I think she's reverted to her Seal of Blood persona!

Megan: Vega turning around--SHOURIN GEKI--and that would confirm it I believe...and the RENBU may be following it up--Vega taking a powder...and this clearly isn't over between them...at LEAST until Holy Wars.

Paul: And maybe not even then. =P

Megan: MORE MAYHEM TO COME, STAY WITH US...

**Commercial Break**

Megan: Welcome back to EAW May…hem…Paul, what are you doing?

Heyman: Oh, just gonna shill a bit! Buy Brock Lesnar's New Shirt! Support the next WWE Undisputed Champion! Only $19.99!

Megan: …OK, you done?

Heyman: Hmm…yeah, for now.

Megan: Good, cause we have a match to get to.

"Creed's "Freedom Fighter" starts to play over the speakers, and the brother and sister tag team comes out.

Capetta: The following tag team contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the EAW World Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania…at a total combined weight of 330 pounds…Kirk and Erica…THE AMERICA ANGELS!

Megan: Listen to that reaction for this home-town team! Kirk and Erica Angel have a big advantage going into this contest, at how Deadly Extremity seems to be having their personal problems.

Heyman: Blah. That's all just a ruse, if you ask me. Deadly Extremity is fully ready to retain the EAW Tag Team Titles.

Megan: The Angels now going into the ring…wait, Kirk is stopping…what's this? Hey, Kirk's handing the medal he has around his neck to a kid in the front row. Now THAT'S class.

Heyman: Ugh…worse than Hart with the sunglasses. Someone PLEASE bring out the champions…

"Bodies" by Drowning Pool cues up...

Let the bodies hit the floor,
let the bodies hit the...

FLOOOOOOOOOOR!...

Capetta: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 261 pounds: They are the EAW Tag Team Champions....Frosti and Savvy...DEADLY EXTREEEEEMITY!!

Heyman: NOW we have some people we can respect. Frosti, Savvy…The Great Tag Team Champions….

Megan: Who seem to be arguing with each other on the way to the ring. Not a very good sign at all. The champions in the ring, and seem to have trouble deciding who will start off this match.

Heyman: Just a false sense of security, I assure you. Trust me, Deadly Extremity will have…HEY!

Megan: The Angels not waiting for them to decide, double German Suplex! The Bell has rung, and we're underway!

Megan: Great early teamwork by the Angels, both of them taking the Champions when they were off guard.

Heyman: They could have at least let them take the title belts off, if you ask me. So much for Integrity.

Megan: Both Frosti and Savvy rolling out of the ring now, and Kirk leaves the ring to let his sister start off the match…and the champions are STILL arguing.

Heyman: Come on girls, get it together already! You two have a match to win!

Megan: Erica looking out of the ring…just waiting for whoever Deadly Extremity decides will start this match…and Frosti decides that it will be Savvy by tossing her into the ring.

Heyman: See…the sisters are finally working things out. Now this match will go in favor of the champions for sure!

Megan: Erica doesn't seem to mind the fact though, as she rolls in with a leg scissors onto Savvy. Erica off the ropes now, and drops an elbow right into the back of Savvy. Rolling her over for the cover…

One

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TWO…kickout.

Heyman: The Angels are NOT going to get a win over Deadly Extremity this early, if at all. Savvy starting to get up to her feet, and Erica takes her, whipping her into the ropes…and a nicely placed dropkick.

Megan: Savvy falling into her corner, and the tag is made to Frosti. And Erica tags in her brother, the former World and Universal Champion himself.

Heyman: I hate to admit it, but I think that Frosti is out of her league dealing with this opponent.

Megan: We'll just have to see for sure in a few short moments…Angel and Frosti locking up now, and Savvy with a quick knee to the gut of Angel. Frosti going off the ropes now, Angel ducking a kick attempt by Frosti. She goes off the next ropes…and Angel with a high-lifting arm drag onto Frosti…and pulling back onto the arm now.

Heyman: Kirk Angel thinking that working the arm of Frosti will help weaken her for the rest of the match, but I'm not so sure that will work.

Megan: Look at this though, Angel using his legs to pin Frosti to the mat!

One

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TWO

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And…a kickout by Frosti.

Heyman: Amazing how Kirk Angel can turn a simple submission move into a pinning combination, yet it's STILL not enough to beat Deadly Extremity.

Megan: Kirk getting back up to his feet, still holding the arm of Frosti…and makes the tag to his sister. Erica in the ring, Spinning Drop Toe-hold…and they're holding on…breaks at four.

Heyman: Frosti is in severe pain in the shoulder area right now, and Erica going to take advantage of it…going for a knee to that arm…Frosti with a switch and tripping Erica!

Megan: And Frosti ROUGHLY tagging her sister into the match now. Savvy glaring, and going into the ring now…and blasts Erica with a hard thrust kick to the chin.

Heyman: The pace of this match has just changed, and now is in the favor of the tag team champions. Savvy picking Erica up to her feet now, and blasts her with a hard spinebuster!

Megan: Savvy off the ropes, and drops the leg onto her. Going for the cover now…

One

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TWO

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Kickout by Erica, but just barely.

Heyman: Savvy not letting Erica get a second win just yet though…and a moonsault into another legdrop on the female Angel. Tag in to Frosti now, double team coming…the hell?

Megan: Savvy just leaving the ring, leaving Erica and Frosti alone in the ring now. Frosti picking up Erica now…sending her off the ropes…catches her…and a delayed fallaway slam…and…now what's this?

Heyman: It's called Frosti slapping the taste out of Kirk Angel's mouth. Angel trying to get into the ring, but the referee wisely holding Angel back.

Megan: But that distraction leads to the first double-team of the match by the Tag Team Champions now, as they stomp away at the downed Erica.

Heyman: See, I TOLD you that their arguments were just a ruse to lead the challengers into a false sense of security. Deadly Extremity has full control of this match right now.

Megan: I may have to agree. Savvy going out of the ring before the referee turns back around, and now Frosti grabbing the legs of Erica. Wrenching back with an elevated crab onto the Olympian's Sister.

Heyman: But unfortunately for the great tag team champions, Erica is too close to her corner…and Kirk Angel now making a tag without Frosti realizing this.

Megan: Kirk Angel with a clothesline from behind on Frosti, and frees his sister from that hold. Kirk waiting for Frosti to get up to her feet…OLYMPIC SLAM!

Heyman: But Frosti made a tag to Savvy on the way down! Kirk Angel trying to pin the illegal person in this match…and Savvy making him pay for it…driving a knee right into his spine!

Megan: Miscalculated move right there by Kirk Angel, and that may have cost him and his sister the titles there. Savvy rolling Angel to his back now…

One

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TWO

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Kickout by Angel.

Heyman: One second away, Savvy was one second away from retaining the EAW Tag Team Title belts in this match.

Megan: They may not be too far away from that goal actually. Savvy picking Angel up, whipping him into another corner…and a corner spear. Into the corner…and a split legged moonsault by Savvy. Another cover…

One

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TWO…kickout early.

Heyman: Damnit, why is Angel still fighting out of these moves?

Megan: It's that Olympic Drive that is in his body. It keeps telling him to fight….no matter what the odds.

Heyman: But it seems that Deadly Extremity is about to blast that drive right out of him now.

Megan: Savvy dragging Angel to her corner, and makes a tag to her sister. Frosti stepping into the ring now, and kicks away at Angel in the corner…ANGEL GRABS THE LEG! Ankle-lock stopped by Savvy though.

Heyman: Savvy saving her sister just in the nick of time…and Frosti with a quick roll-up pin!

One

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TWO

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THREE!

Megan: NO! Kirk managed to get his foot onto the bottom rope just before the three count was delivered.

Heyman: Damn that rope rule!

Megan: In any event, Frosti getting back up to her feet now, and feels that she is in full control of this match…she's calling for the Frost-Bite! Angel getting lifted up…slips behind…and a beautiful reverse suplex!

Heyman: But Angel can not take advantage of this, and both he and Frosti are down and possible out right now.

Megan: Kirk Angel starting to crawl to his corner now, but he has a long way to go. Frosti has yet to move though…Angel to his corner now…Frosti moves…and two tags made!

Heyman: This may or may not be good…Savvy and Erica rushing right towards each other, Erica with a flying body press!

Megan: Erica staying on with a cover!

One

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TWO!…save by Frosti.

Heyman: That's the way girls, fight to keep those titles that you so rightfully deserve!

Megan: Kirk Angel has come into the ring now, and this thing has degenerated into a four way brawl between the two tag teams! Kirk knocking Frosti out of the ring now…and grabs Savvy…

Heyman: SHIT! The Angels almost broke Savvy's neck with a German Suplex/Leaping Legdrop combo!

Megan: Erica going for the cover!

One

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TWO!…Frosti back in with the save.

Heyman: Thank you Frosti. I couldn't imagine those two holding the tag team titles.

Megan: Kirk Angel trying to take Frosti back out, but she manages to get up…HARD DDT!. Frosti back into her corner…and Savvy tags her in after a powerbomb to Erica.

Heyman: And look…Savvy helping her sister into the ring now, right on top of Erica! Cover now!

One…the hell?

Megan: Frosti getting up…and she looks upset about this…the two of them getting into a shoving match!

Heyman: NO! Girls, you were just about to retain your EAW Tag Team Title belts!

Megan: And Deadly Extremity's game plan has totally fallen apart right now. Kirk Angel getting into the ring now, helping his sister recover…and Frosti shoves Savvy right out of the ring!

Heyman: Frosti…look out! Both Angels are now in the ring!

Megan: Kirk Angel with the Olympic Slam…and Erica with her Hammer of Justice at the same time! Kirk going to the outside as Erica goes for the cover!

One

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TWO

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THREE!

Heyman: NOOOO!

Capetta: Here are your winners, and the NEW EAW Tag Team Champions…Kirk and Erica…the American Angels!

Megan: The Angels have fulfilled their goal, and now it will be the American Angels against the UnAmericans at Holy Wars!

Heyman: That's not the story here though Megan…as the Angels leave the ring, it seems that Deadly Extremity are going to start fighting!

Megan: Savvy getting back into the ring…and she looks like she's gonna deck her partner!

Heyman: Wait, Savvy is mouthing to Frosti...not actually fighting...

Megan: From what I can tell, she just said that she's sick of Frosti's crap...and Frosti is arguing...they are going to fight it out!

Heyman: But look…Donnie B. is in the ring now. Thank god for some civility.

Megan: Donnie trying to calm both girls down…THEY DECK DONNIE…AND START BRAWLING THEMSELVES! Frosti and Savvy pummeling each other now…and the referees now pulling these two apart!

Heyman: For once, thank god for the referees. This is the worst thing that could have ever happened to Generation-NEXT!

Megan: Look out though, as Frosti leaves the ring...Plancha by Savvy!

Heyman: Damnit, this is sickening!

Megan: People, as we break this brawl up, we're gonna take another commercial break. Stay tuned!

*COMMERCIALS*

We open up as we find Crash Holly parading around backstage.

Megan: Wait a second…what's this about?

Heyman: Who cares? It's our new Extreme Champion!

Booker Waters walks by, bumping into Crash by accident, not noticing him as he's looking at a clipboard. "Oh, pardon me." he says, going to walk around Crash.

"Hey WATCH it." He replies, bitterly. Then looks at his championship, and dusts it off. "Oh...you're a booker, aren't you? So have you found anyone worthy enough to face me besides Gokuo's sex toys?"

Booker Waters stops, grinning. "Crash? You still work here?" he says, jokingly.

Crash seethes a bit. "I'll ignore that, but anyway, who's the 'worthy opponent' I'm facing this week?" He asks while making the quotation signs with his fingers as he says "worthy opponent"

Booker Waters grins. "Go out to the ring, and you'll see."

"Okay Booker. Keep up the good work and maybe you might even impress me." Crash grins as he walks out to the ring, but not before screaming "NOW SOMEBODY HIT MY MUSIC!"

Doink the Clown's theme starts to play, and Waters laughs a bit at this.

Heyman: HEY! That's just rude!

Megan: Hehehe…I thought it was funny.

Crash seethes. "THAT'S NOT MY THEME YOU MORONS!" "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Grinspoon plays as Crash then walks towards the ring to a choral of "Elroy" Chants in sync with his theme.

Megan: Well, it seems that we're gonna have an impromptu Extreme Championship match.

Heyman: And might I say, I am glad to have someone like Crash as our champion. Let's hear what he has to say!

Crash grabs a mic. "Now, it seems that I actually will be getting some decent competition in this division. I mean, I know it's tough to beat me, but come on, at least put up at least some fight!" The crowd breaks into "Elroy Sucks" chants. "Yeah. I hate that cartoon character too...Anyway, I expect that I'll be getting some decent competition, but unfortunately, the bookers are...let's say...mentally challenged. That's why my next opponent is probably going to suck so bad-I swear to god I honestly mean this-he's gonna suck so bad that if I lose tonight, not only I'll lose my title, but I'll even put my career on the line. So whoever's challenging me for the title, get your ass out here, NOW!

Suddenly..."Through The Night" starts to play, and out comes Booker Waters, with a mic in hand...chuckling.

Heyman: Wait a second…Waters is gonna fight Crash?

Megan: I highly doubt that.

"Oh, Crashy, Crashy, Crashy. You honestly think that you have a thing going for you? Well...I think we should re-do what happened last time with the Extreme Title. So Crash...your opponent...WITH the title and your career on the line...is none other than the EAW version...of........TEST!"

Heyman, Megan: WHAT?

"Test" by Ministry starts to play as Test comes out, and unlike his WWE counterpart, with cheers.

Crash has his hands over his head. "This can't be happening." He mews as he then pulls a Christian and throws a temper tantrum.

Booker Waters pats Test on the back. "Kick his midget ass, Test." he says before walking to the back again.

"I'm gonna enjoy this..." Test smirks as he runs to the ring to attack his adversary.

Megan: They're in the ring, and this match has begun!

Heyman: Hey, this isn't right! Crash wasn't ready!

Megan: That doesn't matter in an Extreme match. Test pummeling away at Crash…and tosses him into the corner hard! Running after him with an elbow shot…

Heyman: CRASH MOVES! Test's elbow hits hard…and now Crash grabbing a steel chair from the outside of the ring!

Megan: This is legal move in this match…Crash entering the ring…BIG BOOT BY TEST! Crash just knocked out of his boots with that!

Heyman: NOOOO! This can't be!

Megan: Test picking Crash up…and there's the Test Drive! Cover!

One

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TWO

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THREE!

Heyman: DAMNIT!

Capetta: Here is your winner, and the NEW EAW Extreme Champion…TEST!Megan: Test has once again destroyed Crash Holly to regain the EAW Extreme Championship from Crash Holly!

Heyman: Test will pay…mark my words he will pay!

The camera shows in the ring, where Crash is on his feet...stamping them and screaming "WHY" over and over again.

Megan: Well, Crash will have to leave the EAW Ring as soon as he's done throwing his fit..

Heyman: Oh...just fade out already!

*MORE COMMERCIALS! AAAAAUUUUGGGGH!*

Megan: We're back folks! We've already had one incredible night so far! And it's about to get even more incredible! We've already seen new tag team champions crowned, and in just a few days we'll have--

Heyman: SUMMERSLAM!!! THE NEXT BIG THING, BROCK LESNAR, TAKING APART THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION TO BECOME THE NEXT UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF THE WWE!!!!!!!

Megan: ... yes, that... and Holy Wars! We've had a lot of dream matches because of the crossover we've had with the WWE, and here comes one of them!!

"Superstar" cues up! The EAW Triple Crown Champion, David Flair, with Kelly Connelly-Flair at his side, heads down the aisle, ignoring the chorus of boos he's receiving.

Megan: David Flair's got a lot on his plate, Paul! He'll have to contend with WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit at Holy Wars, and on top of that, the looming threat of Oseiko once she recovers completely from that heinous attack by the Yakuza!! I have it on good authority that Morrigan is enforcing the clause on Oseiko's contract, enacting the rematch against David Flair for the Triple Crown Title!

Heyman: But that's not right!! David won the EXTREME title from Oseiko! Why should she have a shot at the Triple Crown title?!

Megan: The contract states Oseiko is granted a rematch against whoever wins a singles title from her. It doesn't really state WHAT singles title the one who beat her has at the time.

Heyman: ... I hate those kind of contracts. This is what you get when you have a Japanese lawyer who doesn't speak a lick of English write up a contract!

Megan: .. Well, there goes our loyal Asian viewers...

The Undertaker's theme blares over the PA now as the proprieter of Deadman, Inc. rides down to the ring on his motorcycle. Driving around the ring, then stopping to look up at David Flair, who doesn't look at all impressed with the Undertaker.

Megan: Undertaker now, dismounting his bike, climbs into the ring!! Dave Hebner calls for the bell-- this slobberknocker has begun!!!

Megan: Tie-up by Flair and Taker! Whip by Flair to the corner! Follows up with a clothesline! NO, Taker ducks! CLOTHESLINE OF HIS OWN!!! FLair staggers out... Taker grabs him-- Flair pushes away from Taker! Taker advances though... SCOOP SLAM!! Taker picks him up-- FLAIR GRABS TAKER AND-- SHIN BREAKER!!!! DAVID FLAIR SHOWING SOME STRENGTH IN HEFTING UNDERTAKER UP LIKE THAT!!

Heyman: Of course! He's a Flair! Flairs are mighty!

Megan: Right, well... *ahem* Flair waits for Taker to get up... whips him-- no! TAKER REVERSES! SHORTARM-- KNEE IN THE GUT!! FLAIR DOUBLES OVER IN PAIN! AND TAKER CLUBS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! PIN! ONE! NO, Flair kicks out!! Taker picks him up and...

Megan: DRAGON SLEEPER!!! TAKER'S GOT IT LOCKED IN ON FLAIR!!! AND...TAKER LIFTING HIM UP!!! REVERSE BRAINBUSTER!!! Taker not stopping...picking Flair up... FLAIR WITH A RAKE TO THE EYES!!!! Taker shakes it off!! TOO LATE!!! FLYING KNEE TO THE UNDERTAKER! TAKER STAGGERS AND FLAIR-- SMALL PACKAGE!!! ONE! TWO! NO!!! TAKER POWERS OUT!! FLAIR QUICKLY GETS UP AND-- DDT TO THE UNDERTAKER!!! Taker slowly getting up... Flair grabs him-- NO, TAKER GRABS FLAIR!!! MONKEY TOSS!!! Flair...WHOA!! FLAIR MANAGES TO LAND ON HIS FEET!!! GRABS TAKER'S LEGS AND--

Megan: FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!!!! FLAIR'S GOT IT LOCKED IN!! BUT TAKER--TOO CLOSE TO THE ROPES!!!! DAVE ADMINISTERS THE FIVE COUNT! AND... FLAIR FINALLY RELENTS! Flair quickly goes to the top rope! FROG SPLASH!!!! AND TAKER BARELY AVOIDS IT!!! TAKER MOVES IN TOWARDS THE DOWNED FLAIR! GRABS HIM UP AND... STALLING BRAINBUSTER... HOLDS HIM THERE... AND... DOWN!!!! Flair staggers up... Kelly distracting the ref now and Flair-- LOW BLOW!!!! GRABS TAKER AND-- BACKDROP!!! Taker rolls to his feet and--OHH! LOW BLOW OF HIS OWN!!!! NOW KELLY SCREAMS AT DAVE FOR NOT PAYING ATTENTION!!!

Heyman: As well as she should!!!

Megan: The damage is done, though! TAKER NOW!!! CHOKESLAM!!!!!!! CHOKESLAM!!!!! TAKER GOES FOR THE PIN!!! ONE! TWO! THR--HEY!! KELLY PUT FLAIR'S FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!!!

Heyman: INCREDIBLE RING PRESENCE BY THE TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION!!!

Megan: Give me a break... Taker pick Flair up and... SUPLEX!!! SLAMMING HIM AWAY FROM THE ROPES! Back up now... and Taker with a backbreaker!! Taker now... just shaking his head! He's looking to the crowd... I think he's asking them if he should finish off Flair!!

Heyman: What a sadistic... low-down...

Megan: Well, it looks like Taker's going to relent! Picks up Flair and... here comes the--

Megan: LAST RIDE!!!!! IT'S ALL BUT OVER NOW... but... KELLY DISTRACTING HEBNER AGAIN!!! WHAT IS-- WAIT!!!!

Heyman: WHAT THE--?!

Megan: TEST HAS COME TO THE RING!!!! HE JUST BIG BOOTED THE UNDERTAKER OUT OF THE RING! AND JUDGING BY THAT UPSIDE-DOWN FLAGGED T-SHIRT, I'D SAY THAT'S THE WWE'S UNAMERICAN TEST!! WAIT!!! ERICA JUST CAME OUT TO THE RING!!!! CLOTHESLINES TEST!!! THROWING HIM BACK TO THE RING!!!! SHE SLIDES IN AND--

Megan: HAMMER OF JUSTICE!!!! SENDING A DRIVING MESSAGE TO THE UNAMERICANS!! AND-- WAIT!!! LANCE STORM AND CHRISTIAN JUST BLINDSIDED ERICA!!!

Heyman: HAHAHAHA!!!!! THERE YOU GO!!!

Megan: Christian grabs Erica!! AND--

Megan: UNPRETTIER ON ERICA!!!! WHOA!!!! KIRK ANGEL JUST CAME IN!!!! UNDERTAKER BACK IN THE RING!!! THROWING DAVID FLAIR OUT!!!! GRABS LANCE STORM AND-- CHOKESLAM!!!!! KIRK NOW, HAS CHRISTIAN!!!

Megan: ANGEL SLAM!!!!! THE AMERICAN ANGELS SHOWING THE UNAMERICANS JUST WHAT AMERICA'S ALL ABOUT!!! NOW THAT IT'S FINALIZED THAT THEY'RE GOING TO FACE EACH OTHER AT HOLY WA--

THHOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!

"Shock" suddenly cues up as a dome-like explosion rocks the stage!!

Megan: HOLY--!!!! IT'S EIGHTEEN!!!!! EIGHTEEN'S WALKING TO THE RING!!! DAVID AND KELLY-- WISELY GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HER WAY!!! TEST ISN'T LUCKY!!! EIGHTEEN GRABS HIM!!

Megan: WRECKONER!!!!! MY GOD! WRECKONER ON TEST!!!! Erica cheers Eighteen on!! And-- WHAT?!!!

Heyman: HOLY CRAP!!!

Megan: EIGHTEEN WITH A WICKED HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO ERICA'S HEAD!!! SENDING HER RIGHT OUT OF THE RING!!!! EIGHTEEN GRABS CHRISTIAN NOW!!! WHIPS HIM TO THE ROPES!!!

Megan: HURT CONVEYOR!!!! EIGHTEEN'S JUST ATTACKING EVERYONE INDISCRIMINALLY!!!

Heyman: SHE'S ANNIHILATING EVERYONE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!!!!!

Megan: LANCE STORM WITH A SUPERKICK TO EIGHTEEN AND... my God, she didn't even budge--!! Eighteen advancing-- AND LANCE STORM RUNS FOR THE HILLS!!!! THAT'S GOTTA BE THE SMARTEST MOVE HE'S EVER DONE!! KIRK GRABS EIGHTEEN FROM BEHIND!!! ANGEL SLAM ON EIGHTEEN!!! ANGEL SLam on... she kippuped... that had no effect either! And Kirk's celebrating... TURN AROUND KIRK!!! TURN-- oh, she got him! Up and--

Megan: BYTE BLOCK!! Eighteen turns around-- HAMMER OF JUSTICE BY ERICA-- o_o;;; Eighteen catches Erica-- and... what is she... ohh... WAIT WAIT WAIIIIT!!!!

Heyman: AAGHHH!!

Eighteen just throws her outside the ring and Erica ends up crashing into the announcers' table!!!!!

Undertaker has a steel chair now, swinging it hard into the back of Eighteen, but Eighteen ignores it!! She cocks her head, then turns around just in time to get smacked in the head with the chair by Taker! Again, NO EFFECT!!! Taker seems to see a bit of himself in Eighteen's eyes as he backs up... but then tries anothr swing-- but the chair gets knocked out of Taker's hands by Eighteen! Eighteen grabs Taker by the throat and lifts him up for a WRECKONER!!!!

Eighteen stands up, in the middle of the ring, broken bodies all around her as she lowers her head, smiling darkly, then calmly turns around, handstand flipping from the ring as she heads back up the ramp, the cameras hearing her say "I think I've proven my point."

Megan: Are we on?! We are? My... my God, a pier-six brawl turned into an unbiased slaughter by the hands of Eighteen!!! And you heard what she said... she's proven her point... she's an unmitagated monster! THE Monster of the EAW!!!! My God... when All Hallow's Extreme hits... is Michael Connelly's days as champion numbered?!!

Heyman: Geez... maybe I should have Brock do crap like this...!!

---

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*Commercial Break**

It's time to play the game...

It's time to play the gaaaaame...

Muhahaha..

"The Game" by Motorhead cues up as we come back from break.

Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall, with TV time remaining. Introducing first, from Greenwich, Connecticut..he stands 6'4" and weighs in at 246 pounds...WWE Raw's TRIPLE H!

Megan: Welcome everyone, just in time for our Main Event! We're 2 days away from Holy Wars and 3 away from Summerslam, and the EAW World Champion takes on a WWE star in the latest cross-promotional match.

Paul: So Michael WILL get to face the Rock, but if it had been even a day after Summerslam, it would INSTEAD be Brock Lesnar, so he should thank his lucky stars.

Megan: Triple H booed immensely here, and likely will be no different come Summerslam.

"Broken" by Bruce Dickinson cues up.

Paul: *Yawn* Too bad that this won't be a terrible interesting match...you'll have to wait for Holy Wars to see Brock destroy Steve Austin for that!

Megan: Paul, could you act like an E-A-W commentator and worry about the MATCH AT HAND?!

Paul: Sorry. ^_^

Capetta: And his opponent, from Mars, PA...he stands 6'2" and weighs in at 235 pounds. He is the EAW World Heavyweight Champion..."Code Red" Michael Connelly!

Michael walks out from the back to a HUGE pop, and slaps hands with several ringside fans on a run around the ring, and carefully slides in the ring, not taking his eyes off Triple H...

Megan: A lot of hatred in this ring...and I don't know if Charles Robinson can keep it all contained...*ding, ding*

Paul: There's the bell!

Megan: Triple H on the attack with right hands...snapmare now...to the chinlock. Michael getting up...elbow shots into the midsection...slipping behind into a waistlock--reversed by Triple H--Michael counters with a side Russian leg sweep! Michael up in a hurry--arm drags Triple H...back up--another arm drag, and into a cross arm bar! Triple H to the ropes. Michael picks him up--Irish Whip--reversal by Triple H--KNEE into the gut by Triple H, going behind--and the abdominal stretch!

Paul: Triple H with shots to the ribs, and now WRENCHING back on it hard...the referee checking on Michael--and Triple H grabbing the top rope!....it's seen, and the 5 count...broken at 3. Over the shoulder arm breaker by Triple H, and setting him up for a suplex...holds up Michael high into the air...DROPPED down hard in the center of the ring!

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ONE!

Kickout!

Megan: Michael kicking out, but pulled up by Triple H...to the ropes now--clothesline ducked--off the ropes...DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN! Michael up...Triple H getting up--CHOP BLOCK into the back of the calves...getting up again--and chopblocking him to the mat again! Michael grabbing him by the ankle, and wrenching the leg in a spinning toehold variation!

Paul: Taking advantage of a past injury...smart move, for once, from this guy. Pulling him up by the ankle--DRAGON SCREW leg whip! Up again...tripping up the leg, and DRIVES the elbow to the side of the knee!

Megan: Picking up Triple H, and now attempting a double underhook--Triple H punching free...right hands by Triple H...more of them...sending Michael into the ropes...hammering him--knee into the midsection...and a chokehold.

Paul: When did this turn into a Hulk Hogan match?

Megan: About the same point Triple H went on offense. =P Michael grabbed by the hair...TOSSED out of the corner now. And a blatant chokehold on the mat!

Paul: Triple H breaking the hold, and now picking up Connelly, Suplex--Michael landing on his feet--clothesline ducked, and Triple H with a reverse neckbreaker! Cover--

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ONE!

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Tw--NO!

Megan: Triple H up...off the ropes now, and going for the kneedr--MICHAEL ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Michael getting up now as Triple recovers--Michael with a kick to the midsection--TO THE BACK OF THE LEG! Triple H down to one knee...and Michael off the ropes--RUNNING DROPKICK INTO THE FACE!! Grabbing the weakened right leg...and dragging him to the corner...up on the 2nd rope--forward leg snap by Connelly!

Paul: Ohh...wrenching it forward like that...now setting him up--could be a reverse powerbomb--no--right hands on top of the head--Triple H landing behind--knee into the back...Michael on the ropes....Triple H hits the far ropes--HIGH KNEE into the back, and Michael tumbling out--grabbing the top rope!

Megan: Flipping in now--but Hunter catches him...scooped over the shoulder--and a SHOULDERBREAKER by Triple H! Cover!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

Paul: Triple H picking up, set up for an Atomic Drop--blocked--MICHAEL WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!! Triple H tossed hard...getting up..RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!! Picking him up now, and sends him to the ropes--leaping Crescent Kick, and now Michael with an elbow the back of the head..and...STUMP PULLER!! Whoa...talk about old-school. O_o

Megan: Michael going Big Bully Busick on Triple H, and capitalizing on the weakened quad...pulling him up now--set up--Triple H bridging up--SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE!! Pulling up Connelly...chops by Triple H...knee into the midsection, and to the ropes--another clothesline...cover...

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ONE!

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TWO!--kickout.

Paul: Triple H pulling him up, and now hoisting him up, and CROTCHES him on the top rope. Set up, and a SUPLEX off the ropes. Michael rolling towards them, and pulling himself up--Triple H pulling him away--scoop slam, Michael escapes--kick and a DDT by Triple H!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Megan: Michael pulled up, and now backbreaker...pick up, going for another--blocked--MICHAEL WITH A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT! Michael a bit tired out, but OOOH...hard kick into the ribs..Michael battling back...sends Triple H into the corner--CLOTHESLINE...and a series of them...sends him into the ropes--off the near ones--

Paul: GOOOOOORE!! GOOOOOOORE!! GOOOOOOOORE!!

Megan: Michael dragging him near the corner...up top now...and a PERFECT Moonsault!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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...NO! And Michael on fire here...pulling up Triple H. Michael into a wristlock...climbing up to the top rope--springs off and yanks Triple H to the mat with a DDT! Going for the cover...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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..and the kickout!

Paul: No...and Connelly driving his knee into the quad muscle of Triple H...pick up now--side headlock--Triple H powering free--into the ropes--BACK BODY DROP to the floor by Triple H!

Megan: Triple H taunting Michael...getting up--Michael up on the apron--headbutt into the midsection on the charging Triple H--sunset flip into the ring--Triple H breaks free...set up, and the CATAPULT into the corner!! Triple H with a BACK DROP in the center of the ring...cover...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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NO, and a kickout!

Paul: Triple H back up...picks up Connelly and hits him with right hands as he back him into the ropes...slingshots him to the far ropes now--caught--and a CHIN CRUSHER on CONNELLY!! Taunts him , and a stomp to the ribs for good measure. Setting him up now for the Pedigr--COUNTERED BY CONNELLY!!

Megan: Into the KUMO NO AMIMONO!! Well, a variation of it, partially altered to wrench back on the vulnerable lower right leg. Flipping him over, and a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF!! A hold like this is where actually being SHORTER is an advantage, and why Rock's Sharpshooter isn't as effective as Bret Hart's...Triple H reaching for the ropes...Michael pulling him away and kept right in the center of the ring--TRIPLE H TAPPING! TRIPLE H TAPPING!

*ding, ding, ding*

Cappetta: The winner of this match, by submission..."CODE RED" MICHAEL CONNELLY!!!

Paul: Hmph...maybe I underestimated him...Michael having his hand raised...and Triple H--CLOTHESLINE FROM BEHIND! Triple H wobblely, but clearly...

Paul: Pissed off?

Megan: I suppose that's an accurate summation. Set up now...PEDIGREE on Connelly!! Rolling out of the ring--and a sledgehammer?! How'd he sneak that in?! It's not like it's a pair of brass knucks...

Paul: Well, he did it, and now looks like he's going to do a number on Connelly...

Megan: DRIVING it into the ribs!! The back...now going for a high angle shot--SHAWN MICHAELS WITH A STEEL CHAIR into the back...series of jabs from the native Texan...into the ropes--HURRACANRANA by Michaels!! And a series of right hands as he has him pinned to the mat!

Paul: Michael coming to and...talking to Michaels now...

Megan: HBK picking up that steel chair--draping it over the neck of Triple H?! Triple H dazed and trying to get up--Michael and Connelly up to the second rope--DOUBLE BACK KICK OFF THE SEC--VAN DAMINATOR times TWO!! And Triple H just may be out...

Paul: Well, that's all for tonight...DON'T MISS EAW/WWE Holy Wars! And OF COURSE...SUMMER-SLAAAAAAAAM!!

Megan. Right. ^_^ Goodnight, everyone!!