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"ARIEL -- NEXT WWE CHAMPION!!!" "I'VE GONE TO FIND MYSELF! IF I RETURN BEFORE I GET BACK KEEP ME HERE, JIM!!" We open to the Civic Center deep in the heart of Texas...Victoria, hometown of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin... Fireworks explode from the stage as we scan across the sea of fans--many carrying signs. Megan: Welcome everyone, to EAW Mayhem! I'm Megan Eko...back from a little hiatus... Paul: Due to emotional stress, and all that... Megan: Well, after what happened--seemed to happen--to Ariel, I really couldn't bear to come to work, Paul...that's the truth. However, I'm glad to find out that it WAS a ruse--one to keep her safe until Sweet Tooth was appropriately handled, so I'm glad to be back, and able to actually do my job. I wasn't really in an condition to before... MMEEEOOOOWWWWW!!!!! =^..^= "Cat House" suddenly cues up!! Paul: Hm? Speaking of which, I guess we'll be hearing from the little bra--er, dear. Megan: Paul not exactly a family man, of course. Paul: No...and I'm a bit afraid Viki might make Brock lose a bit of focus...it may take him a bit more time to destroy the Rock. Ariel skips out to the stage and waves to all the fans happily, smiling brightly as they cheer for her. She then drops to her hands and feet, as if she's about to pounce... then runs on all fours to the ring, jumping over the top rope and over to the opposite end of the rope, balancing effortlessly on it as she looks straight at Megan with a smile! =^-^= Megan waves at her, smiling. Paul: Okay, so what's she out here for, exactly? Megan: Oh, I don't know...probably just to pay us a little visit. Don't worry, Paul, I don't think she'll eat up 20 minutes. ^_^ Paul: Good--although if Eric were here he'd make sure it wouldn't go past 3. Ariel smiles brighter, then suddenly jumps off the rope, landing on the announcers' table and hugging Megan! "YOU'RE BACK!!!! YOU'RE REALLY BACK!!!!" she cries out as she hugs tight, nuzzling Megan's cheek cat-like. =^-^= Ariel sighs happily, then kisses Megan's cheek before backflipping back into the ring, waving to all the fans before sliding back out and skipping back up the ramp. Before she returns to the backstage though, she turns around... and raises her hands up towards the sky slowly, like Kane...? Paul: What's this now? Is there gonna be--? *winces in case of a Kane entrance* Ariel smiles... her hands up-- then drops them down! Fireworks explode up above the ring as the Jumbotron flashes a message filled with flowers and hearts-- "WELCOME BACK, MEGAN!!!" Megan: Awwww....how sweeeeeet! Paul: Yeah, yeah...*mumble* welcome back too, Megan. I missed ya... Megan: Really now? Paul: Yeah--BG can be pretty nasty to me..yeesh...and not even counting when the cameras aren't on... Megan: Heheh--I'll take that as a compliment. Ariel waves to the crowd, flashing a peace sign, then blows a cute kiss to the camera as she skips to the backstage, muttering "My work here is done." =^^= Megan: Well, I can't ask for a nicer reception than that. ^_^ Ariel, everyone! Well, back on schedule...up next!...Akiko vs. Arana!
Megan: We are LIVE, and rarin' to go! This is Megan Eko along with none other than the Houdini of the Hardcore Revolution, and a decent knockoff of Larry "The King" Lawler when he wants to be... Paul E. Dangerously!
Extreme Rules Match Akiko vs. Arana Megan: Akiko stopped by the ropes... and flashes Arana a chesire grin! Arana is not going to let that go... but both of them're armed to bear and neither waits to make the first move---no! Arana rushing in for a shot at Akiko, but no dice! Akiko wrapping the chain around Arana's neck... and slamming her to the ground headfirst! And that chain's still wrapped around Arana's neck! Heyman: See, I could see Arana wearing a dog collar, sure, but this isn't half of what I had in mind. Megan: I don't wanna know the other half... Akiko still semi choking Arana while... more-or-less talking lots of smack in the process! Arana's kicking up a storm... and clocks Akiko on the side of the head with her boot! Akiko dazed... and Arana clutching her throat AND the cattle prod! Arana in... and SLAMS the handle of the prod down on Akiko's back! Again! And---MY GOD OW! Enough voltage to stun a cow pumped right into Akiko's favored calf! Heyman: See? Methodical execution! She's making sure she doesn't end up on the bad end of any Diving Wind Kicks! Megan: And that may do the trick! Akiko's leg is visibly spasming... and Arana's just smiling like a goon and telling Akiko to stand up! Akiko up, and Arana back in--DIVINE WIND KICK! Arana blown off her feet by that one! *I* didn't even expect Akiko to be able to do that with her leg probably half-numb! Heyman: She's gotta be wearing some kinda insulating body armor or something! Ref, pat her down or something! She's obviously cheating! Megan: It's hard to cheat in an Extreme match, Paul. Heyman: Point. Megan: Akiko to the outside... still favoring her leg a bit... but she still digs around under the apron... and showers the ring with 'goodies'... Heyman: Cheese grater... singapore cane... steel chairs... lead pipe... fire extinguisher... heavy-looking chain... Megan: And Akiko back in, looking for something to apply to the dazed Recluse... and she chooses the pipe! Arana in the corner... and Akiko swings---hits the turnpost! Arana barely able to slide under Akiko and get away--NO! Arana charging Akiko and RIGHT INTO A PIPE SHOT TO THE RIBS! Arana crumples like a house of cards... and Akiko rams the pipe into her gut a few more times! Heyman: Mmmngh... at least she's thorough. Megan: Akiko has her sickle and chain again! Mounting Arana and whipping her across the face with the chain! God, you can hear it from here... but Arana reverses with a sudden headscissors, holding onto Akiko's ankle! A submission from outta nowhere... and no ropes to save Akiko! Could this match en---MY GOD! Akiko took the sickleblade and *RAKED* it down Arana's leg, gashing her jeans and cutting into her leg! She's free, and Arana's screaming in agony... perhaps she's gotten in far too deep! Heyman: Perhaps? Pffft! Megan: Akiko rolling outside, clutching at her throat... and grabbing around for... looks like a recipe for a fireball! Vodka and a lighter! Akiko with a mouthful of booze and---ARANA from out of nowhere with a swandive at Akiko, knocking her down! Arana slow to rise... but quick to grab the bottle and... drink it down?! Heyman: She'll be feeling no pain! That stuff could strip the paint off of a car! Megan: And Arana with the empty bottle... reaching down and grabbing Akiko by the pigtails---BOTTLE RIGHT TO THE FOREHEAD! Akiko down and Arana following for rhe pin! One... two... three-NO! Akiko twisting free! Arana screaming at the ref for the three... but the ref's not going for it. Looking back down at Akiko AND RIGHT INTO A FIREBALL TO THE FACE! Heyman: Reminds me of that one scene in Arachnophobia... Megan: Arana clawing at her seared face... and Akiko dragging herself up like a zombie! Pogo-chan swipes the nearest chair and folds it closed... but holding it edgewise, not flat---CHAIR EDGE TO THE STOMACH OF ARANA! AND AGAIN! AND A SHOT TO THE JAW! Arana crumples like a lifeless doll... but I don't think Akiko's done... grabbing Arana by her hair and rolling her into the ring... Akiko following with a springboard somersault legdrop! Leg held across Arana's throat for the cocky pin... but only two! Heyman: See, this is what I said about talent. When you got it, your body works for you... a normal ham-and-egger would be done after that... but not Arana... Megan: Arana looks pretty close, though... she's absorber far more punishment than she's given... not a good sign at all, especially when Akiko looks ready to dish out more! Akiko standing and going to undo the padding from the turnbuckle... actually, I think she's shown some signs of fatigue... Arana's gotten some offense in... Akiko walking away from the naked turnpost and over to Arana... kicks to her already-sore, if not broken, ribs... and a whip to the corner! Arana's back came right into contact with the raw metal.! Akiko following... has Arana by the hair... Heyman: Snake eyes! Ladies and gents, this is probably the first and only time you'll see Akiko Nakano powerbomb anyone! Make sure to record this one! Megan: Akiko DOES have Arana up now! Charging towards the turnbuckle for a REVERSED INTO A HURRICANRANA RIGHT INTO THE STEEL TURNPOST! Akiko flies back like she was shot... and she's starting to bleed! Both girls down... and it looks like Arana's gonna get up first... with her cattle prod in hand! SHOCK TO THE BACK OF AKIKO! AND ANOTHER! Arana cackling madly as she hefts Akiko up into... a cattle prod-assisted bearhug... and a charge into that uncovered corner from before! Akiko's draped helplessly in the corner... and Arana looks over her opponent before... my God, this better *NOT* be what I think it is! Akiko's legs straddled on the opposite ropes... normally even I don't like the Shattered Dreams, but I'm sure that would be much better than what Arana has planned! Heyman: Does the term 'shock to the shammies' mean anything to you? I know some women did always like having some sort of electrical device between their thighs to eas certain... cravings. ^__^ Megan: HEYMAN, YOU SICK BA---MY GOD! SHE... SHE ACTUALLY DID IT! ARANA... SHOCKED AKIKO RIGHT.... RIGHT..... MY GOD! Heyman: Thankfully, cattle prods are almost pure voltage with next to no current. Else, instead of pain and muscles seizing up, she'd prolly be the perfect place to start a boiled clam shop! Megan; THAT'S STILL DISGUSTING! Arana's *clearly* lost her mi---SHE DOES IT AGAIN! AKIKO'S SCREAMING IN TORMENT... but Arana's just... cackling... and finally Arana with a swift overhead belly-to-belly throw sends Akiko flying. If Akiko can keep going, let alone *walk*, after that horrid bit of insanity.... Arana going for the pin. One... twi... three----ALMOST! Akiko jerking free... and Arana's incensed! She hops off of Akiko and goes to grab a chair... she has one. Turns around to--CHAIR KICKED INTO HER FACE! Akiko *kippuping* to her feet... and almost toppling over, using the ropes for support! Still, she's *snarling* at Arana, and... now *SHE* has the cattle prod! SHOCK TO ARANA'S STOMACH! Arana jerking like a caught fish and trying to get away! Akiko grabbing Arana by the waistband of her jeans... SHOCK TO THE BACK! And Akiko all but throws Arana to the ropes... but she's not going for a whip! Akiko traps Arana's arms in the ropes... and she's got the prod... Akiko looks unsteady, but her smile speaks volumes... MY GOD! Heyman: ... eeeesh, fried fur taco, anyone? Megan: I almost don't wanna watch, but I've got to call this match... and right now, it's more like a torture session! Akiko's being merciless with the prod, and Arana's spasming wildly---ANOTHER TO THE... THE.... ARGH! And... Akiko looking confused... if I didn't know better, I'd say the prod's batteries just ran out... Akiko shrugging and reaching for a chair instead---CLEAR SHOT TO ARANA'S HEAD! ANOTHER! A THIRD! FOUR! Finally Akiko pulls Arana out of the ropes... my God, her face is a red stain, almost! Akiko grapping Arana's hair, pulling her up... talking some very violent smack and---ARANA WIH A HEELKICK TO THE CROTCH! Akiko stunned... and Arana grabbing Aki---OSAKA SNIPER ON AKIKO?! Arana just dropped Akiko with her own finisher! What TOTAL and utter disrespect! Heyman: If I remember right, this girl's the same one who could flawlessly protray Oseiko and made a habit of trying to beat people with their own moves. Again... *TALENT*. Megan: Talent doesn't gloat... which is what Arana's doing... but she finally goes to Akiko's side, reaching into her pants... and pulling out--- Heyman: A double-headed dildo! I *KNEW* she was just hard-up for some girl-on-girl action! Megan: DIE, PAUL! It's a staple gun, and she's about to--STAPLE AKIKO RIGHT ON THE BREASTS! AKIKO ROARS IN PAIN... AND *BUCKS* ARANA OFF OF HER, YANKING THE STAPLES OUT! Heyman: Ooooohshit, this looks good. Megan: Akiko up... she looks like a mess, but she looks ready for some violence! Akiko rushing Arana into the corner from before and elbows her right in the jaw! Reaching into her pockets... STUDDED KNUCKLES! They're on... and THEY'RE ON ARANA'S FACE! Akiko's *WAILING* on Arana, and it's all she can do to not get pummeled... but she probably saves herself some agony with a knee to Akiko's crotch... what is it with her and crotches?! Arana stumbling forward... but grabbing Akiko's waist--STUNGUN ONTO THE BARE TURNBUCKLE! Akiko's down! And Arana's... barely with us! She looks like a stumbling wreck, but she's still trying to finish things... she's got Akiko's leg! It looks like she's going for the Arana Clutch... she's got the leg hooked, and she's reaching back fo---AKIKO WRAPS THE SICKLE CHAIN AROUND ARANA'S NECK AND SQUEEZES! ARANA'S TRYING TO ESCAPE, BUT AKIKO'S UP ON HER FEET! ARANA'S LITERALLY HANGING AGAINST AKIKO'S BACK... AND SHE'S TURNING BLUE! Heyman: Okaaaaaay, I think we've seen enough. Turn into nice playful Akiko. Pleeeeeease? Megan: .... FINALLY! Akiko drops Arana, who barely even looks conscious... and Akiko's kicked the lead pipe from before into her hand... no, don't do it, Akiko... she's finished... just pin he---SHOT TO THE HEAD! Arana just *drops*... and Akiko rolls her over and places the pipetip to her chest. I guess it's a pin... academic one... two... three. Thankfully, this match is over. Capetta: The winner, by way of pinfall... Akiko Nakano! Heyman: Beh, so much for talent. All that, and the evil clown girl still gets the one-two-three. Megan: Akiko defeats Arana after one hell of a grueling match... but at what cost to herself? Heyman: Hey, if they're supposed to be the EAW's Hardy Boyz, when's Akiko gonna turn on Oseiko? Megan: ... Heyman, you're a heartless man. Megan: We're back everyone, and in just a few moments… Heyman: Megan, allow me. In just a few minutes, you will see violence, carnage, and bloodlust like you've never seen before. You are about to witness a cage match for the Triple Crown Championship…Girl of Goth Sin, A Mystery Opponent, and the Triple Crown Champion Buzzsaw all do battle, all going for the Triple Crown Title! Megan: …I could have said that Paul… Heyman: Eh, just letting you ease back into this. Megan: Riiiiight. Well, this match all came about because of Donnie B using his power to make it, just because he was having an ego trip. Let's take it to Gary Michael Capetta for the introductions. Capetta: The following match is a special cage match for the Triple Crown Championship. The rules are…the champion and the known challenger must pin their opponent to win the match, while the mystery opponent must just escape from the cage. Megan: An unfair decision, if you ask me. Heyman: But nobody did ask you. Megan: Bleh. "Nobodies" by Marilyn Mansion starts to play first, and with her own candlelit entrance comes the first challenger. Capetta: Introducing first, the first challenger. Hailing from Roswell, New Mexico. She stands 5'8" tall and weighing in at 136 pounds…she is one half of the Girls of Goth…SIN! Heyman: I wonder if she was born a blonde. Megan: I feel I'll regret saying this, but why do you say that? Heyman: Because she was a MORON for giving up the EAW Triple Crown Championship just because of a technicality. Megan: Heyman, just because some people have…you know…MORALS…doesn't mean that they're idiots. Heyman: Morons only get in the way of success… Megan: There's just no talking to you sometimes… "Points of Authority" starts to play now, as the Champion comes out. Capetta: And her opponent, from Venice Beach, California, standing 6'3" tall and weighing in at 229 pounds, the EAW Triple Crown Champion, Buzzsaw! Megan: Buzzsaw looking to make sure that Sin will not win the EAW Triple Crown Championship like she did for a short time. Heyman: And in my opinion, should STILL be the champion. Titles shouldn't be tossed around so easily. Megan: Like you would mind if that happened with the Undisputed Title in Brock's favor. Heyman: *I* wouldn't, but I know Brock would. Megan: Riiight… Capetta: And the final challenger… Silence…which is broken after a while by the hard riffs of "Superstar"…and a DEAFENING chorus of boos. Capetta: And their opponent, being accompanied to the ring by his wife Kelly, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, standing 6' tall even and weighing in at 210 pounds…he is the EAW Extreme Champion, David Flair!Megan:…Donnie B. is powergaming again. Heyman: YES! FINALLY WE'RE GOING TO GET A DESERVING EAW TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION! Megan: He has to win the match first, and Sin and Buzzsaw BOTH tossing him into the cage! Cage Match EAW Triple Crown Title Match Sin vs. David Flair vs. Buzzsaw (c) Heyman: FOUL! David hasn't even had time to take the Extreme Championship off his waist yet! Megan: This is what he gets for having Donnie B use his power like he did. Sin and Buzzsaw tossing David Flair into the ropes…and a double team flapjack into the steel bars by the champion and challenger. Heyman: Damnit, this isn't right! Restart the match already! David is a fair participant, and should have had a fair start to the match! Megan: Sin and Buzzsaw whipping David into the ropes again….and a double superkick by the former and current Triple Crown Champion. Sin with a cover… One . . TWO… Heyman: But look at this, Buzzsaw pulling Sin off of David. Sin looks surprised. What do you expect, it IS a Triple-Threat match. Megan: Buzz rearing back to attack Sin now, but she ducks out of the way, pulling him back in a reverse facebuster. Heyman: David starting to get up to his feet now…remember, all he has to do is exit the cage. But he seems willing to mix it up…as he goes to attack Sin right away with a hard club to the back of the neck. Megan: Buzzsaw pulling David off of Sin though, and grabbing him by the back of the head…into the bars, no, block by Flair, and it's Buzzsaw that smacks the steel. Heyman: David showing his resourcefulness and improved skills early on in this contest, and Buzzsaw has been busted open. David has a free ride now. Megan: David smiling now, as Kelly has the referee open the cage door. He's trying right away to win the title. Heyman: YES! Step out to glory David…hey, let go of him! Megan: Sin DIVING to grab the ankle of David Flair, and trips him, pulling him back into the ring. This match shall continue. Heyman: Though it won't matter, the result will be the same… Megan: Buzzsaw getting back to his feet…David kicking Sin away, but Buzzsaw with a diving kick to David's head now. Buzz quick for the cover… One . . TWO . . THREE…no, Sin with a break up. Heyman: Both Sin and Buzzsaw want to get the pin on David Flair, but I don't think they'll let each other, judging by both pinfalls being broken up. Megan: Buzzsaw showing his resolve though, going to continue to pummel on David. Sin getting up…and strikes Buzzsaw? Heyman: Sin possibly believing that Buzzsaw is the greater threat in this match. A mistake in my opinion though. Megan: Sin taking Buzzsaw under her arm, and a quick snap suplex by the former champion. Sin having the upper hand now, and goes off the ropes…legdrop attempt, stopped by a dropkick by David Flair! Heyman: David Flair showing that Never Say Die attitude that will get him very far in the business. I see him someday holding the World Title. Megan: Unfortunately, he may think that too if he happens to win this match. David grabbing Sin's leg, and starts to kick away at it. Heyman: A tactic that might be effective. If they can't get to their feet or use their legs, they can't stop David from escaping. Megan: Either that, or David just wants to be sick enough to cripple someone. He's grabbing Sin's leg again, but Buzzsaw off the ropes blasts him with a flying clothesline. For the cover… One . . TWO…kickout. Heyman: Buzzsaw ready to capitalize on this situation…picking David up to his feet…and a quick Brainbuster…shades of Eddie Guerrero right there! Megan: Buzzsaw going up to the top rope now, ready to blast someone with a top rope move…Sin managing to use David's back as a boost to get to the top rope…and belly to belly suplex by Sin onto Buzzsaw! Heyman: HEY! David is a human being, not a stepping stool! Megan: Why don't you go up there and tell them that. Heyman: I would if I wasn't busy commentating the match right now. Megan: Yeah…SURE you would…and look at this! Sin putting Buzzsaw into a Figure Four Leglock! Heyman: Bad move though…David right there to break up the move. NEVER use another Flair's move before a Flair! Megan: I thought that only applied to Ric Flair, but anyway…David Flair blasting Sin in the head with a series of kicks right to the temple. Heyman: And this shows why David Flair is one of the smartest men in wrestling today: he knows just what points of the body to work to get an advantage on his opponents Megan: But David spending too much time going after his ex girlfriend, and now that Buzzsaw's free, he's able to get an attack in…and it looks like Sin and Buzzsaw are going back to how we started this match up…double-teaming David Flair. Heyman: Which is an inappropriate way to compete! Megan: Buzz and Sin picking David up…and a double team powerbomb onto David. Buzzsaw and Sin seem happy, as they go for a high five… Heyman: DOUBLE CROSS! Buzzsaw catching Sin, and delivers the Buzzkill! THAT'S what the people wanted to see happen! Megan: But that took something out of Buzzsaw as well, and all three are on the mat…Buzzsaw the first to start getting up to his feet…covers Sin! One . . TWO…NO! Heyman: Sin surprisingly STILL has some fight left in her…and so does David Flair apparently! Kelly seems happy about this! Megan: …wait, what is Kelly doing to the cage here? She seems to be fondling it with her hands… Heyman: I think she's just checking to make sure that it is nice and secure…yeah. Megan: In any case…Buzzsaw pulling Sin back up to her feet…Sin fighting back right when she gets up to her feet! Sin is continuing her quest to try to obtain the title…kick, DDT combo! Cover! One . . TWO . . NO! Heyman: Sin is NOT Tommy Dreamer or Jake "The Snake" Roberts. She's NOT gonna win with a simple DDT. Megan: Sin was probably doing that out of desperation and not truly expecting to win. Sin grabbing Buzzsaw by the hair…wait, Buzz going behind Sin…German Suplex…No…SINSATION! And wait a damn minute…Kelly has opened part of the cage…near where her husband is! Heyman: Call it like you see it Megan…the cover now!…only a 2 count as David lands out of the cage! David Flair is the new Champion! Megan:…this can't be? Let's get the official word on this… Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen…the winner of this bout, and NEW EAW Triple Crown Champion….DAVID FLAIR! "Superstar" starts to play over the speakers, as David is handed the belt by Kelly. Heyman: YES! YES! Take a look Megan, we FINALLY have a Triple Crown Champion that we can respect for his skill and personality! What a night! Megan: Ugh…folks, we'll be back… *COMMERCIALS* Back to the action... Ariel is backstage... with a certain someone... "I'M WITH THE ROCK!!!" =^-^= Ariel giggles as she stands on a stool to keep to an eye-to-camera level as she stands next to the Great One himself. "Hi, Rock!" =^^= The Rock looks to Ariel... up and down, then raises the People's Eyebrow. "... Whoa, Lilian! You really let yourself go! Not only did you shrink down a foot or two but you've spouted fur!!" "I'm not Lilian..." =^^;= "Well, of course the Rock knows you're not Lilian, Ariel! The Rock was just playing around! Like what the Rock does with Kevin Kelly and the Coach and Mark Lloyd!" "You're not gonna do all that to me, are you?" =/ "Of course not! The Rock understands you're Ariel! You're the unofficial mascot of the EAW! You're a ten year old 85 pound fur-covered cutie-pie, aren'cha?!" "YEAH!!" =^-^= "Then the Rock is going to give you a special treat! The Rock is going to let you sit here and watch the Great One do one of the things he does best, and that's give the People's Oration!" "Okay!!" Ariel hands the Rock the mic and sits on her hands and feet, cat-like, as she watches. "Now, with all that said-- FINALLY!!! The Rock, HAS COME BACK!! To Victoria!!!" The Rock begins. "Home to the Texas Rattlesnake, the Toughest S.O.B. in the WWF AND in the EAW, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!!!" The fans give a rousing pop to that proclamation. "Now the Rock can understand why you left the WWE and jumped to the EAW, Steve! The Rock can understand, that the WWE was changing to fast! The Rock understands that the writers, the bookers! Scrambling to make the WWE great, throws together a match! The Rock understands you didn't agree with it! And so that's why you got the 'F' out, Austin! Well, the WWE will heal! The WWE will move on as it's always done! And the Rock has just one thing to say to you, Austin! And that is..." the Rock pauses to slip his sunglasses off, looking straight to the camera. "'Good luck.'" The fans cheer as the Rock continues. "Now! On to other things! The Rock has a huge plate! The People's Plate is full! The Rock's got Triple H at Raw! The Rock's got Michael Connelly at Holy Wars! And oh yeah, the Rock's got The Next Big Thing, Brock Lesnar on SummerSlam! Well, the Rock knows he's pushing it but the Rock will persevere! As sure as the grass is green! As sure as the sky is blue! As sure as Kurt Angle is bald! The Rock is going to fight them ALL and the Rock is going to remain the WWE Undisputed Champion! Code Red... you and the Rock, we hold no grudge! Our match, the main event at Holy Wars is nothing more than an exhibition! No titles are on the line! We're going at it for the People! The People demand the match, and by God, we are going to give it to them and win or lose! That match will be nothing more than good clean fun! As opposed to SummerSlam! Brock Lesnar, you claim you killed Hulkamania! That you took Hulk Hogan out for good! Well the Rock says... no. Way. The Rock is going to carry the banner of Hulkamania at SummerSlam! The Rock is going to fight you, Brock! The Rock is going to avenge Hogan! Avenge the Hulkamaniacs! And Brock? What'chu gonna do, bruddah!! WHEN YOU SMEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! WHAT THE ROCK!! IS! COOKIN'!!!" The Rock flashes the People's Eyebrow, then turns to shake Ariel's hand before he walks off, Ariel smiling brightly as she sits on the stool. Megan: Up next!! Austin! Glenda!! The limit breaks right after this!! ---
 --- Megan: We're back! And we are moments away from the EAW debut of Stone Cold Steve Austin!! Paul: The man who was so afraid of Brock Lesnar he jumped ship!! Megan: ... Paul... Paul: It's true! "Bombshell" suddenly cues up, and "The Unibomb" Glenda Jacobs makes her way to the ring, adjusting her gloves as she rolls into the ring, getting up to the top turnbuckle as she looks to the fans. Paul: Glenda Jacobs is no Brock Lesnar, but she is still very tough! I see her humiliating Austin in his debut match in front of his native Texans tonight!! Megan: ... You would... but it could happen! Suddenly...-- KRRASSSHHH!!! "Glass Shatters" by Disturbed cues up! The fans erupt into cheers as Stone Cold Steve Austin trudges forward, no-nonsense style as usual as he rolls into the ring, then greets the fans with fists raised up, every corner in the ring! Megan: It's deafening in here, Paul!! Austin's here in the EAW and the fans are absolutely estatic!! Paul: Then I can imagine the utter silence when Austin is beaten in his first match in the EAW!! Megan: Referee Dave Hebner calls for the bell... and this match is underway!!
Singles Match Glenda "Unibomb" Jacobs vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin Megan: Austin and Glenda with the tie-up... and... Glenda with the scoop slam to Austin!! Austin's up... he seems a bit surprised with how strong Glenda is! Paul: Austin doesn't know what he's gotten himself into, Megan! He's in unfamiliar territory! Megan: Austin's up now... tie-up once more... and Austin whips Glenda to the corner! AUSTIN WITH A CLOTHESLINE-- NO, SHE DUCKS! AND-- PUMPHANDLE SLAM BY THE UNIBOMB!! PIN! ONE! NO! AUSTIN KICKS OUT!! Glenda quickly picks Austin up... AND AUSTIN COUNTERS!!! SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!! Glenda manages to get up... Austin grabs her! Whip-- COUNTER! INTO THE CORNER!! GLENDA FOLLOWS IN-- CLOTHESLINE!!! Glenda grabs Austin... Austin pushes her back! Grabs her and--
 Megan: SPINEBUSTER BY AUSTIN!! Austin's beginning to realize Glenda's more than a woman here... she's a threat! Austin picks the downed Glenda up and-- SUPLEX!! NO! COUNTERED! GLENDA PUSHES AUSTIN BACK AND-- CLOTHESLINE!!! Glenda's shouting at Austin now... grabbing Austin up and whips him in... and-- OHH!!! THESZ PRESS ON GLENDA!!! AND AUSTIN IS RAINING THE PUNCHES DOWN!!!! AUSTIN UP, ACROSS THE ROPES!!! ELBOW DROP!!!!
 Paul: THAT MONSTER!!! TAUNTING A WOMAN WHEN SHE'S DOWN!!! AUSTIN SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF!!! Megan: Glenda knew what she was getting into, Paul! WHOA!!! GLENDA JUST HEADBUTTED AUSTIN WHILE HE WAS TAUNTING HER!!! Austin staggers and Glenda takes full advantage! KNEE TO THE GUT! A RIGHT CROSS!! WHIP TO THE ROPES!! ELBOW!! AND--
 Megan: ANOTHER elbow!! Shades of Kevin Nash, which we all hope makes a speedy recovery! Paul: Provided he doesn't hurt himself going to the bathroom. Megan: Be nice... Austin staggers out... Glenda now, whipping Austin to the ropes! And... FLAPJACK!!! Glenda sensing victory now... signalling for the G-Bomb!! Grabs Austin-- AUSTIN MOVES BEHIND HER AND-- BACK SIDE SLAM!! Austin picks Glenda up! Monkey toss by the Rattlesnake! Austin picks Glenda up! Double fingers! KICK--NO! GLENDA COUNTERS!!! SPINS AUSTIN AROUND! GRABS HIM UP!! G-BOMB!!! NO!!!! AUSTIN LANDS BEHIND GLENDA!! SPINS HER AROUND KICK CONNECTS AND--
 Megan: STUNNER!!! STUNNER!!! STUNNER!!! My God, I never thought I say that line... Austin with the cover! One! Two! Three!!! AUSTIN WINS HIS FIRST MATCH IN THE EAW!!! Paul: DAMMIT!! Well, I guarantee you that won't happen when he and Eighteen teams up against Brock Lesnar and the Big Show! This I guarantee!! Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin Megan: Austin looking to the crowd now... liking the cheers it seems! He goes to leave... Glenda's up! She's in pain but she's up! She's stopped Austin, shaking her head... what's this about?! Paul: SLUG HIM! CLOBBER HIM!! Megan: No, Glenda's signalling... she catches some beers from the outside! She wants to share a beer with Austin!! Paul: ... So she's not going to clobber him?! Megan: No! She's welcoming him to the EAW!! ^_^ Paul: Ugh... >_<; Megan: Well, while Glenda and Austin toast their beers and celebrate, we'll be right back! --- "HERE!!" *spits on the ground* "PICK DAT UP!!!" --- **Commercial Break** IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME...TIME TO PLAAAAAY THE GAAAAAAAAAME...MUHAHA... Megan: Welcome to Mayhem, folks...and the thousands of fans in attendance here in Victoria voicing their displeasure for WWE's Triple H. As "The Game" by Motorhead plays, Triple H comes out, and is immediately bombarded with trash. Paul: And as can be expected, these ignorant Texans not showing any respect. Although, neither will Brock Lesnar should Triple H win the Rock's championship on Raw and go on to defend against Lesnar--but that's neither here nor there. Megan: Brock is the beginning and end to your little world, ain't he, Paul? Paul: I'm his agent, I'm supposed to sing his praises--or I'd be doing a lousy job, wouldn't I? Megan: I suppose so, but Triple H not likely to get any praise out here... Hunter gets in the ring, demanding a microphone... "I suppose-uh...this reception-uh...is rather warranted-uh. Due to the fact that you Texas scumbags had to watch-uh...me overshadow and usurp two of your biggest stars-uh!" Paul: This isn't Minnesota, so he ain't talkin' about Brock! "You got to see me push aside that nobody, that has-been STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN...as well as SHAWN MICHAELS-uh. Austin carries on-uh...his deep-seated grudge for Vince McMahon. Perhaps the EAW is the perfect-uh..place for you. You and that fellow has-been Bret Hart deserve each other-uh. And when Bret is humiliated-uh at Holy Wars, by Vince, I'll be the first to laugh-uh. Although...that's one of the good things Shawn-uh...has to his credit-uh. After I cripple and destroy you Shawn-uh...after I take away your ability to perform the most mundane-uh of tasks-uh...you'll regret EVER passing up the chance to be my manager-uh. "You brought-uh it all on YOURSELF-uh, Shawn!" The crowd boos and chants "Asshole." "The truth-uh, hurt-uh, don't it-uh? I know that Austin isn't here-uh...but probably only because-uh he heard I was coming. At Holy Wars, this company-uh will be left belly-up and a shell-uh of it's former self. The WWE-uh will DESTROY all it's competition-uh just like it did-uh in the past. And before-uh you know it--Austin will be unemployed-uh again...as will that cyborg slut partner-uh of his. As will Bret Hart-uh...and all of this company's paper champions-uh..." "Broken" by Bruce Dickinson cues up, as the crowd erupts into cheers. Michael, already dressed for the main event, comes out onto the stage. "Sorry to interrupt you, Hunter...but I thought my music would help to WAKE UP THE FANS here. No DEEP offense to our competition, but it hasn't been looking to be in it's healthiest state as of late, and your obvious grudge with Stone Cold shouldn't be an issue, since you aren't facing him anyway. However...Hart...Austin...they earned their way to the top, and not just by being part of a company for X years, but also through hard work. People speak highly of Stampede's wrestling and the Hollywood Blondes...who ever gave a crap about Levesque, Ryzin, or that guy who was dumped on his head in a hogpen?" "Just the kind of smart ass words I'd expect from a young punk like you...I did SO earn my way to the top, and the kind of stuff you mentioned are just the kind of indignities I endured due to my sheer love of the business--" "WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Michael interrupts. "So, I'm to believe that you EARNED your way to the top? Should I forget little things like facts and just buy that typical revisionist history you guys throw around? You weren't on your way to being a star until LONG after Bisch was out of power, and you WERE there on his watch. And you didn't become a star until AFTER you hooked up with...DAAAAAAAAADDY's LIIIIIT-TLE GIIIIIRL!" Paul: A LIE! A FRAUD! Can you believe this punk?! Megan: Er...I believe he's telling the truth. "A fringe benefit to my charm, good looks, and undeniable charis--" "Oh SHUT...THE HELL...UUUUUUP!" Michael yells over him. "You were NOTHING for years, with not even any real talent of note to really finger you as a future star. Pitifully limited offense, half consisting of your knee, isn't at all impressive. You improved...for a while, but now a quad tear later and you're a lumbering slug yet again, punching and kneeing your way through your HORRIBLE sleep-inducing matches. Face it, Hunter...HBK MADE you. He never needed you except to carry his bags and do your amusing little skits with. You rode his coat tails, and were destined to be a midcarder for life. However...after DX version 2.0 folded, you found a NEW person to RIDE to the top, quite literally." This prompts a "MAAAAAAN-WHORE!! MAAAAAAAN-WHORE!!" chant to start. "SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! Slanderous bullshit-uh, all of it!!-uh You talk pretty tough from out there-uh, but notice I'm here in the ring-uh, while you COWER over there-uh. How about you stepping up here-uh, anytime, anyplace, and see how your lies hold up-uh. Sure...I did things to get to the top-uh I probably shouldn't be proud of-uh, but I did it-uh. We do what we have to-uh. And you go ask-uh any nothing wrestlers HERE or in the WWE-uh if THEY WOULD DO THE SAME THING-uh...if the opportunity was presented-uh...and THEY...WOULD...DO...THE SAME DAMN THING-UH!!" "Proud of it, eh? No shame whatsoever. Well, I'll be glad to beat you...and in the process show you why YOU NEVER DESERVED to step out of Shawn's shadow. For all his faults, he was one of the best around in any era. He may not have much in his tank now after suffering career-ending injuries, but right now he's still a hell of a lot more of a man than you are. Next show, Game-uh...this ring. Let's see you try something new for once, and SHUT UP and WRESTLE!" "OH, I WILL...Michaels, Michael, all the same soon--a has-been and a never-was--both mere footnotes in the career of the THE GAME!!" Michael makes a pillow with his hands and mocks sleeping until "The Game" cues up again, and he waves off Triple H as he heads to the back. **Commercial Break** The familiar pipe organ intro to Kane's theme plays..then BOOOOMMMMM!!!!! Paul: AHHHHHH!! Megan: Welcome back everyone...and...it seems we have an unexpected guest... Kane doesn't come out, but the EAW-Tron plays the Kane "The Fire Still Burns" promo... Megan: Raw...Smackdown...now MAYHEM?! Apparently Kane is due for a comeback, but where seems to be something only he knows. Paul: At least he isn't here...yet. I'm relieved... Megan: Probably in more ways than one at the moment. =P Heyman: Ha ha ha… "Freedom Fighter" by Creed starts to play now, and the crowd starts to cheer as the popular brother and sister duo make their way to the ring. Capetta: The following Tag Team Contest is scheduled for one fall with a 40 minute time limit. Introducing first, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania…at a total combined weight at 330 pounds…Kirk and Erica, the American Angels! Megan: This young duo is really impressing people with their unity as a team. First against Vega and Benoit, then against Kurt Angle and Lance Storm. Heyman: And for once, I have to disagree with the great team that S&M. I do NOT believe these two are incestuous. Remember, Kirk has a hot wife who only has the problem of being pregnant. Megan: *blinking* Woah…actually standing up for what's right? Heyman: Standing for a hot babe, Megan. Megan: …figures. =P "Conflict" by Disturbed starts to play next, and out comes Nova, with Crysta accompanying him. Capetta: And their opponents, first, being accompanied to the ring by Crysta Sparks, from Silicon Valley, weighing in at 220 pounds, NOVA! Megan: The young superstar originally from New Jersey feels that he hasn't been getting his just due as of yet, and now is teaming with his apparently now on again, off again enemy. Heyman: And think about this: Nova has been here in EAW longer, yet it's his OTHER sometimes enemy Hurricane that is getting the world title shot. Megan: Well, there's nothing that could be done about that right now, but that could be a grudge for Nova to have. Heyman: Nova has to be PISSED right now, but then again, he seems to ALWAYS seems to be pissed. Megan: Very true. Well, we're now awaiting the arrival of Nova's partner… The lights suddenly dim as "Shock" by Fear Factory cues up... as the music begins to pick up a scene of a city can be seen on the Jumbotron. Just a random generic city, no people visible as the sun shines... but as the beginning music continues we see that it's NOT a sun... as it's coming closer and closer! Then suddenly it hits, decimating the city-- THHOOOOMMMMM!!!!! And a huge spherical explosion ignites on the stage!!! As the explosion fades, Eighteen stands in the center, her hair and clothes whisping gently in the fiery aftermath, body crackling a bit with energy as she walks down the ramp to the aisle, rolling into the ring. Capetta: And his partner, from the Red Ribbon Army, standing 5'8" tall and weighing in at 125 pounds…"The Digimortal"…EIGHTEEN!She stands up to the top turnbuckle... staring at the Angels, then at Nova... then drops down to the mat to go to her corner. Heyman:…show off. Megan: Heh. Eighteen with a new, impressive entrance, and apparently letting Nova start things off. Erica in the ring, and this match is now underway. Tag Team Match Eighteen and Nova (w/ Crysta) vs American Angels Megan: Erica starting to circle the veteran a bit…Nova just watching her…and a tie-up to start things off in this bout. Nova with a hard knee to the gut of Erica now, and the young Angel is doubled over in pain. Heyman: Nova not letting her take any time to recover, sending her off the rope, and a flying neck breaker. Megan: Erica getting up to her feet now, Nova trying to kick her down, but Erica grabbing the ankle and yanking it…Ankle lock early on! Heyman: Nova too close to the ropes though, and grabs it right away…Erica lets go of the hold…smart moving by the super-hero. Megan: Erica apparently learning a few tricks from her brother. Nova now getting to his feet…Sneakthrough by Erica! One . . TWO…kickout. Heyman: Erica being to arrogant to think that she could win over Nova that quickly. Megan: Erica getting to her feet now, and suplexes Nova to the mat…and tags in her brother. The Olympic Gold Medalist ready to show case his skills. Heyman: And I think that this is weird…seeing these former partners sparring against each other. Megan: Angel grabbing the leg of Nova, and rams the knee hard into the mat. The Olympic Gold Medalist focusing all his attacks on the leg of Nova, which is a very smart move. Heyman: No doubt about that. That's why the Angels have the intelligence factor down pat…and Nova getting to his feet…quick single-leg take down! Megan: Nova really needs to make a tag right now, or else this match will be over without any sign of the teamwork of Eighteen and Nova. Angel going for the leg again…Nova managing to roll out though…and Eighteen tagged in. Heyman: And now things are gonna get boring. I mean, what will…HOLY CRAP! Megan: Eighteen charging at full speed and knocks Angel out of his boots with a thunderous clothesline. This girl is ready to showcase her power and skills in this match, apparently. Heyman: No doubt. Eighteen picking Angel back up to his feet now, jujitsu throw…and Angel reverses it…getting it into an arm bar…but Eighteen just kicks him right in the head now. Megan: Eighteen reaching in now…and grabbing Kirk Angel with a Shoulder Claw…squeezing with all her might, and that's a lot. Heyman: Mark Henry may be the World's Strongest Man, but Eighteen may very well be the World's Strongest Woman! Megan: Angel trying to fight out of the vice-like grip of Eighteen…and grabs her with a Overhead Belly to Belly…but look at this! Eighteen STILL not letting go of her shoulder claw…back to her feet, and just tosses Angel with it. Heyman: The strength of Eighteen is scary at times…cover now.. One . . TWO…kickout. Megan: Eighteen with an armbar onto Angel now…but Erica made a tag when Eighteen wasn't looking…Kirk sent into the ropes…ducks a kick…Eighteen turns around gets a dropkick by Erica. Heyman: Erica off the ropes…and a sliding dropkick to the head of Erica before Eighteen can get back to her feet. Off the ropes now…and cartwheel into a moonsault. Cover now… One . . Kickout with authority before a two count! Heyman: Eighteen starting to get up to her feet…Erica going in for a knee strike…Eighteen catches it…and just tosses Erica into the corner hard. Erica on her back now, and Eighteen makes the tag…the hell? Megan: Eighteen taking her partner and suplexing him right onto Erica. Cover now… One . . TWO . . Erica kicking out. Heyman: That was interesting…Eighteen using Nova as a weapon. Megan: Nova getting up to his feet now…and grabbing Erica, lifting her back up to her feet. Erica starting to fight back out of the hold…swing by Erica, ducked by Nova…and a modified facebuster! Heyman: Nova showing how innovative he is in this match, managing to get a quick move in while Erica was not expecting it. Megan: Nova picking Erica back up to her feet once again, and Nova with the Novacaine. Nova with the cover now… One . . TWO . . Kirk Angel with the save for his sister. Heyman: But that is not a good move for Angel, as the referee is forcing him out of the ring. Nova motioning Eighteen into the ring now, and they start to double teaming the young star. Megan: Nova motioning for Eighteen to stay in, but she decides not to…and Crysta looks kinda happy about that. Nova makes the tag now, and Eighteen just waiting for Erica to get back up. Moving in…and a nice pump-handle slam by Eighteen. Cover again.. One . . TWO . . Erica managing to drape a foot on the bottom rope. Heyman: One second away, Eighteen was one second away from getting the victory for her team in their first match together. Megan: Eighteen picking Erica back up to her feet…and a bear hug! Eighteen trying to squeeze the life right out of Eighteen's body. Heyman: And even if this doesn't work to get a submission victory over the Angels, it is an EXCELLENT wear down move. Megan: Erica trying to fight out of the bear hug now…elbow strikes to the head of Eighteen…. Heyman: Which is probably like elbowing a safe with the amount of metal in her head. Megan: Eighteen not letting go, and into a modified powerslam! Cover now… One . . TWO . . THREE…NO! Erica still managing to kick out. Heyman: It's amazing how much drive Erica still has in her body. Eighteen tagging in Nova again…and he goes off the top rope…dropkick attempt…KNEE TO THE HEAD BY ERICA! Megan: Kirk Angel looks like he's ready to get into the ring…and Erica crawling to the corner now…Nova trying to grab her leg…too late! Angel is in the ring now, and grabbing Nova off the mat…GERMAN SUPLEX! Heyman: Kirk Angel is a house of fire out there! Repeatedly given Nova German Suplexes…but Nova making the tag to Eighteen on the way down. Megan: Angel not aware of this…celebrating prematurely as Eighteen nails him with a top rope dropkick. Erica now in the ring, and this match has de-generated into a four way brawl between all these superstars. Heyman: The referee trying to regain some order into the match, Erica and Nova fighting on the outside of the ring… Megan: Eighteen going for another sidekick…Angel ducks…OLYMPIC SLAM! Kirk getting up to his feet…turning towards Eighteen…WHO KIP-UPS TO HER FEET! HOLY SHIT! Heyman: Eighteen showing ungodly power…and Nova getting back up to his corner…Eighteen with the Wreckoner…and Nova wants some more… Megan: Eighteen is sorta surprised at this…but Eighteen willing to oblidge. Tag made…and Nova getting a full nelson in on Kirk Angel. Eighteen rushing off the ropes…jumping spin kick.. Heyman: KIRK MOVES! Eighteen just blasted Nova with that kick…and now Erica pulling the android out as Kirk rolls Nova up! One . . TWO . . THREE! Capetta: Here are your winners, Kirk and Erica, the American Angels! Megan: Big Time Win for the team of Kirk and Erica Angel, and they just BARELY managed to get the victory in this match! Heyman: But one must wonder, does this mean that the Angels are in line for a tag team title shot? Megan: One can only wonder…and one can only wonder what this means for Crysta's new tag team. Don't go away…after this: Connelly…Hurricane. The EAW World Title on the line…stay tuned! We'll be back. **Commercial Break** STAND BACK...THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH! "Hurricane" by Bush cues up as we come back from break... Megan: Welcome everyone back to Mayhem for tonight's main event! The Hurricane gets his shot at a "big time" title for the first time, as Michael Connelly defends. Paul: "The Next Little Thing" Gregory Helms? Eh...doesn't really work too well. Megan: Funny, you were behind him 110% during the ECW/WCW invasion. Paul: True, but how can I possibly be that excited about a small time thing like that when in less than two weeks, BROCK LESNAR is going to become WWE Undisputed Champion! Megan: Try to not act like a WCW announcer, and maybe focus on the match at hand, Paul? Paul: Er...right. Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit--and is for the EAW World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, from Raleigh, North Carolina...the challenger! He stands 6'0" and weighs in at 191 pounds; THE HURRIIIIIIIICAAAAAAAAAANE!! Megan: Sure to be an exciting, fast-paced match up. Helms and Connelly are friends, but has made it clear that he won't hesitate for a moment to let up in this match. Paul: Indeed he won't, which is why I am going to be pulling for the Hurricane in this match! Of course, I'm more excited about-- Megan: That's quite enough about Summerslam, Paul. :P A salvo of fireworks explode from the stage as "Broken" by Bruce Dickinson cues up, prompting Michael Connelly to appear on the stage, holding up the EAW World Title. Capetta: And his opponent: from Mars, Pennsylvania...he stands 6'2" and weighs in at 235 pounds! He's the defending EAW World Heeeeeeavyweight Champion! "Coooode Red" Michael Connelly! Megan: Michael earlier accepting a challenge by WWE's Triple H--I assume that match will be happening regardless of whatever or not Michael retains here. However, experience factor or no, you have to admit that Hurricane is looking to be the underdog here. Paul: Let's see if you think that once Mikey eats a Hurri-slam, Megs. Michael and Helms both in the ring... EAW World Heavyweight Title Match The Hurricane vs. "Code Red" Michael Connelly (c) *ding, ding* Megan: ...and there's the bell! Paul: Hurricane immediately attacking Michael full force, and sends him into the ropes--Michael a knee, however, set up, and--Helms slipping behind--roll up--Michael on the ropes, however. Megan: Back up, and Michael arm dragging the charging Hurricane. Pick up now, and a snap suplex by Michael. Hanging on--Helms trying to punch his way free, and slings Michael into the ropes--leap frog over, and Michael to the other ropes. Holds on, and Hurracanrana by Hurricane misses! Michael grabbing the ankles, and setting up the catapult--Helms launched into the corner--grabs the top rope--catches Michael in a headscissors, and tosses him in it as he springs off the top rope! Michael back up, and a slide--UPPERCUT shot by Helms catches Michael by surprise--from behind, set up, a PUMP HANDLE BACKBREAKER by Helms! Cover now! . . . ONE!--Kickout! Paul: The Hurricane picking up him up, and going for a waistlock--back elbow by Michael, and another--breaks free, and Michael with the standing switch--ATOMIC DROP! Michael hooking the head, and a REVERSE NECKBREAKER! Megan: Cover by Michael... . . . ONE! Kickout! Michael picking up Hurricane and sending him towards the corner...catches himself--Hurricane charging, and a SPINNING HEEL KICK stops Helms in his tracks! Michael with a series of clotheslines...springs up--kick across the forehead. Set up now, and a MONKEY FLI--Hurricane lands on his feet--rolls back--arms hooked--roll through! . . . ONE! . . Kickout! Paul: Helms up in a hurry--Michael arm dragged over, and back up...kick to the midsection..FISHERMAN'S BUSTER by Helms! Cover by Hurricane... . . . ONE! . . . TWO!--and Michael with the foot on the ropes. Megan: Michael shaking that off as he gets up--Hurricane rushing in, and a SHINING WIZARD to Connelly! Michael tumbling out to the floor!! Paul: Helms hitting the far ropes, and HURRICANE TAKES TO THE AIR!! TOPE SUICIDA driving Michael into the safety railing!! Megan: Hurricane nearly sending Michael into the front row, and that seemed to have taken some out of him, as well... 1! Paul: Helms picking up Michael, and pulling up the mat...going for a suplex--Michael blocks--pick up, and a FRONT SUPLEX into a FACEBUSTER on the floor! 2! Megan: Michael getting up now, and pulls up Helms... 3! Paul: Boosts him up, and rolled under the top rope. Michael up on the apron and inside the ring. Springboard and LEGDROP across the throat! Elbow shot to the sternum, and Michael rolling back inside. Megan: Michael showing he's got his own vicious streak, and grabbing the ankles--CATAPULTS his throat into the bottom rope--shades of Arn Anderson there. Paul: Michael dragging him out from under the rope, hook of the leg.... . . . ONE! . . . TWO!--Kickout! Megan: Michael pulling him up now...Hurricane with elbows into the midsection...now off the ropes now--flying headscissors takedown on Michael! Back up, and sends Michael into the corner--flipping up and over--Michael grabs the top rope--pulls himself on top the apron--HEADBUTT into the midsection on Hurricane. Going for a suplex--blocked by Hurricane who locks his leg into the ropes...PULLING MICHAEL BACK IN AAAAAAAND a BRAINBUSTER into the ring!! And Hurricane making the cover... . . . ONE! . . . TWO!--Kickout by the champion! Paul: Hurricane pulling him up, and snap suplex pulled off...picked back up--kick to the midsection...Hurricane off the ropes--SWINGING NECKBREAKER nicely done. Dragging him over near the corner now...Hurricane up...and now...the SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! ...and NO! Megan: Hurricane showing a lot of guts here, and now setting up Michael in a headlock...could be a swinging DDT--off the top now--COUNTERED INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!! Paul: Very, VERY impressive counter there, and Michael up in a flash...climbing to the top, and the Michael-sault onto the Hurricane!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . ..SHOULDER UP by the challenger! Megan: Michael pulling up Hurricane underneath of the chin, and wrenching the neck now...working on the shoulder--armwringer now--and a CRESCENT KICK underneath the chin! Hurricane up, and Michael whipping him into the corner. Kicks across the chest--spinning back kick! Setting up the Hurricane on the top rope, could be going for a top rope DDT--Hurricane battling back. MICHAEL SHOVED OFF! Hurricane getting his balance...Michael up--SUNSET FLIP OFF THE TOP ROPE BY THE HURRICANE! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . ...Michael kicking out! Paul: Hurricane back up, and waiting for Michael to get to his feet--GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT!! AND HERE IS COMES--the HURRI-SLAM!! Hurricane going for the cover--Michael rolling out of the way--LOCKING ON A SIDE ARMBAR!! Hurricane fighting his way up...Irish Whip--Michael against the ropes--goes for an Asai Moonsault! Missed but lands on his feet! Catches the charging Hurricane, and a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! Megan: Michael and Hurricane both feeling the strain here..and slowly getting up--right hands by both of them--Michael with a kick to the midsec--caught by Hurricane--COUNTERS with a reverse Enzui Giri! Michael back up, and pulling up Hurricane--JAWBREAKER!! Hurricane now sets him up, and a PILEDRIVER!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . KICKOUT! Paul: Hurricane wearing down the champ, but now seems to be going for a desperation move now...up top. Michael slowly up to one knee--both--Hurricane comes off the top--CROSS BODY--NO--Michael rolls over and top-- . . . ONE!--KICKOUT!! Hurricane getting up...Michael catches him, and T-BONE SUPLEX by Michael!! Megan: The champ heading out to the apron, and Hurricane looking to be in trouble...SPRINGBOARD SPEA--COUNTERED INTO A FACE JAM!! The Hurricane catching Michael in mid air and countering the spear!! Paul: And I didn't even get to yell GOOOOOOORE!! GOOOOOOOOORE!!...eh, Hurricane picking up the champion...setting up for the Hurribreaker--Michael attempting to free himself--shoving Hurricane into the ropes--ROLL UP OFF THE ROPES!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . Kickout! Megan: So close! Michael back up...sends Hurricane into the ropes--leg lariat misses--Hurricane ducks under, and a BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX on Michael! Pick up now, Michael with a hiptoss! Hurricane up--wristlock now--HURRICANE with a dropkick to the chest!! Michael up--ducks the clothesline--SLEEPERHOLD APPLIED!! Paul: Hurricane beginning to sink to his knees...but fighting back up now--up the turnbuckles--PINS MICHAEL TO THE MAT!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . . KICKOUT!! Michael escaping just in time... Megan: Both of them up, and Hurricane sending him towards the ropes...comes back now--and DROP TOE HOLD sends Michael throat first across the second rope!! Hurricane picking him up, could be the EYE OF THE HURRICANE--Michael reversing now--slips free--double underhook--and the CONDITION RED!! Hook of the leg!! . . . ONE! . . . TWO! . . . THREE!!! *ding, ding, ding* Paul: NOOOOOOOO!! SO CLOSE...and YET SO FAR... *sniff* "Broken" cues up again... Capetta: The winner of this match, by pinfall, and still EAW World Heavyweight Champion..."Code Red" Michael Connelly! Megan: And Michael being handed back the title after retaining...and Michael BOWING towards Hurricane, in a show of respect! Paul: Screw respect...ungh... Megan: Hurricane offering his hand...and a handshake between the two! Suddenly...the lights dim... Paul: COVER YOUR EARS!! THHOOOOMMMMM!!!!! "Shock" cues up once more as the explosion ignites on the stage. It fades, and once more there's Eighteen!! Paul: *Whew* Thought Kane was going to show up here... Megan: Well, Eighteen...not heading down the ring...what's this about? She just stands there though... she smiles at Code Red, points at him... then gestures around her waist... making it clear to everyone... she's going to challenge him for the title!! Paul: ...HAHAHAHAHA!! I guess she did get a sense of humor after all...HER?! Challenging for. Michael shrugs and nods. Paul: ...eh?! Megan: Well, Eighteen may need to take a number...Michael set to face Triple H next week as well as S&M sooner or later...but he seems determined to be a fighting champion! Well, until next week, I'm Megan Eko...back, and hopefully for GOOD this time, and this is Paul Heyman. And GOODNIGHT! |