The scene pans over, the packed civic center in downtown Portland, Maine. Cameras goes inside of the arena, and lands of Mayhem's commentators; Joey Styles and Jerry "The King" Lawler.

JS: "Welcome fans, to a exciting edition of Extreme Attitude Wrestling's Tuesday Night Mayhem! I'm Joey Styles, and with me here is my co-host, calling all the action..Jerry "The King" Lawler!"

JL: "That's right, Styles. Mayhem is going to live up to it's named tonight, because I believe it will be all out Mayhem! And, plus...puppies and kittens!"

JS: "When you mentioned puppies would you perhaps be talking about
Colley Dogstar? Yes, 'Big Yiffy' will be putting up his People's Championship against "The Minister"! Minister has been on a roll lately..he's really been taking it to his opponents."

JL: "That's true, Styles..but another title will be up on the line, is the Television Championship, which is currently held by Krist Jonsson. He'll be defending the title against, Jeff Jarrett."

JS: "Jeff Jarrett has really been expressing his emotions about the passing of Oseiko "Black Widow" Kurotsuki.

At that moment, Joey and Jerry bows there heads, as the scene fades to a screen with a picture of Oseiko on it, with "1984-2000" on it. A faint, ten rings of the ring bell is heard. After the tenth bell, is sound, scene fades back to the arena.

"X-Files Theme" hits, as lights pan across the fans. The massive man of UFO steps onto the stage. The crowd greets him with boos, as he walks to the outside of the ring, and finally he enters on the inside of ring.

"Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock cues up, as Kidd Foxx steps upon the stage with a loud chorus of boos, and even some "rip-off" chants from the crowd. Foxx just ignores it, as he takes his time walking to the ring. Foxx enters the ring, while UFO is the ring testing the ring ropes. Foxx and UFO stare at each other for a very brief moment, and sudden they shake hands. The ring bell rings, and match gets under way.

BR>JS: "These two might, be friends outside of the ring, but tonight they
find out who is the best. Kidd Foxx with a dropkick to UFO...UFO shakes the move off, and quickly decks Foxx out with a clothesline. Foxx springs back up to his feet, and ducks a UFO boot attempt. Foxx off the opposite rope, and a kick to the under-belly of UFO. UFO doubles over..and DDT!! Foxx with the cover..one, two..UFO JUST BENCHED FOXX OFF! He threw Foxx off of him, with a very tiny fly."

JL: "Speaking of 'flys'...I don't see Flyboy on the card. What is a show without Flyboy? That's like Lilith without sex..it just doesn't seem right."

JS: "What is a show without Flyboy..a damn good one! Well, getting back
to the match, Foxx is now on the recieving end on a UFO beating. Foxx gets thrown into the ring corner..UFO is charging at Foxx..if he hits this, it's going to OVER! Foxx moved out of the way, and UFO went flying right into the post..Foxx now whips UFO to the ropes, and Foxx off the opposite one..Foxx is up in the air, and perfect hurricanrana! Foxx is on a roll now..UFO back up to his feet, and Foxx goes for a flying body press..BUT IS CAUGHT! UFO caught Foxx in mid-air. OUCH! UFO just planted Foxx with a falling body slam! UFO off the ropes, and goes for a big splash.."

JL: "NO! Foxx used his quickness, and UFO ate mat! Foxx up..and now with
some right hands to the face of UFO. Now, Foxx with kicks to the legs of the big man..UFO blocked on of those kicks, and Foxx gets spinned around of the gigantic, and big boot! UFO has Foxx's legs, and he spreads them open..UFO now follows up, with the step through..and UFO-SHOOTER! All that weight is pressing down, on Foxx's lower back area, can Foxx hold on?! You can see the pain on the Kidd's face..but he's near the ropes..WAIT! UFO drags him back to the middle of the ring, it has to over now Joey."

JS: "I think you might be right, 'King'...Foxx fighting the hold as much
as he can. He's got to give it up...UFO just elevated his body up now..his back is about to give..NO! Foxx is actually moving on his hands! Look at him! I might be with the fans..I don't like him, one bit, but Foxx is showing me alot today! AND..YES!! FOXX HAS THE ROPES! UFO must break the hold..and he does as he's told by Referee Tim White. UFO picks Foxx up, and whips him toward the ring ropes..Foxx bounces off the near ropes, and UFO tosses Foxx up in the air..looks like a body pancake..REVERSAL! Foxx with a dropkick in mid-air!! Both man are down, and trying to make it to their feet. And, now Tim White making the madontory ten count.

JS: "Both men get back to their feet, but it looked like UFO was a
little faster. Foxx quickly rushes at UFO! Foxx with some shots to the big man..making him move a few inches back. Foxx now, with a big right hand, but UFO ducks it, and lifts up Kidd. Foxx now in a fireman's carry poisition..UFO is falling back..looks like a samoan drop, but Foxx with a CRUCIFIX PIN! 1_2..NO!! That was 1/2 inches away from the referee dropping down his hand, for the three count.

JL: "Right you are, Joey. UFO looks a little mad, as he gets to his feet..and a very stiff kick to the gut of Foxx. Foxx doubles over in the pain of the move..and UFO lifts Foxx up like a small child! RUNNING POWERBOMB!! MY GOD! Foxx just been powerbomb'ed into the Heaven's! UFO sets Foxx up, parelle with the ring corner. UFO takes his time getting to the top-rope..and that could cost him. UFO looks to put Foxx away with the the "UFO Splash"..but, Foxx is UP! Foxx with a swift kick to the ring ropes, and UFO stumbles, as he drops onto the ring post! OUCH! Foxx now going up after UFO..and wait..NO! King shriek™!

JS: "OH MY....GOD! SPINEBUSTER DDT OFF THE TOP ROPE! Foxx drapes his arm over UFO..it's over now, I'm sure..1_2_..NOOO! UFO kicked out! He's not going away, THAT easily. Foxx slowly gets up to his feet..and is now setting up UFO in the corner. Foxx really taking his time getting up to the top rope..he's on it...and FRUSTRATION!! IT'S OVER! ONE, TWO, THREE! Foxx wins!

Winner by pinfall >>> Kidd Foxx

JS: "Was that a match or what King?"

JL: "I'll have to get it to those two, that match was great, through and
through. But, you know what match is next?

JS: "Let me guess..could it be--"

JL: "Yes, Styles! Finality and Tympani are coming out in their new
outfits! YAY!!"

JS: "Don't go anywhere..Finality and Tympani make their wrestling debut
as a team against Onslaught!"

**A lenghty promo for EAW Holy Wars: Caress of Steel is shown**

Tag Team Match

Finality and Tympani Craig Vs. Onslaught

As soon as Mayhem, comes back, "Am I Bad" cues up, as Onslaught hurries down to the ring with a not so warm welcome by the fans.

JL: "These people are massive, they're like living towers!

JS: "You have a point there..I wonder why Finality and Tympani will ever
take this two down?"

"Jaine's Got A Gun" hits, and Tympani Craig comes out to a pretty good fan reaction. Tympani walks down to the ring, with her EAW Hardcore Championship with her. Tympani thinks wisely, and waits outside of the ring, for her tag team partner. "Living Dead Girl" Sublime Remix by Rob Zombie cues up, as Finality comes out to the same pop of her tag partner received. Both Tympani and Finality step onto the apron at the same time, as the ring bell sounds.

JS: "This match has just begun, as the bell just rung. WHOA! Both
females dropped Onslaught down with springing dropkicks. Titan stumbles back, but doesn't fall. Tympani with thrusting kicks to Wraith, as Finality and Titan takes their respective corners. Tympani into the corner, by the vixen Wraith..and she follows it up with a clothesline in the corner. Tympani is walking out of it..looking quite dizzy, and Wraith takes the advantage and plants Tympani's head in a mat with a great DDT. Wraith goes over to her team's corner, and offers Titan the tag..which he gladly accepts.

JL: "This can only mean, big trouble for Tympani. Tympani up to her
feet, and see stares up at Titan. His name is just how he is...A TITAN! And, Titan with a throat toss into the corner. Rapid kicks right to Tympani. Finality is looking worried...and I wouldn't blame her. Tympani whipped into the other corner, and Titan is following her. Tympani moved out of the way, just in time from being crushed from Titan's lariat in the corner. Tympani not on the second turnbuckle, and see has Titan in a front headlock. Tympani jumps off of turnbuckle, and TORNADO DD-"

JS: "WHAT POWER! Titan threw Tympani off, just as she was going for a tornado DDT. Tympani landed face first, and she hasn't had any offense in the match, but her opening with Finality. Tympani crawls to the corner, and tags in Finality. Finality is looks pretty upset, over what the members of Onslaught have done to her newly found friend, Tympani. Finality up in the air, and a jumping elbow fight into the chest of Titan. Titan was taking off guard, by that burst by Finality. Finality isn't done with Titan, as she picks him up, and excute a standing dropkick! Finality with small moves, trying to take Titan out, and she's getting him off of his feet, so that's a good sign for Finality and Tympani. Finality waits for Titan to arrive to his feet, which he does almost immediately! Whoa..Finality with a dropkick placed right into the kneecap of Titan. Titan goes down to one knee, and Finality, makes the tag to Tympani. Tympani now is on the top rope, and a AXE KICK TO TITAN! Tympani just took Titan out of it with that kick. Tympani now, with hard stomps all over the big man. Titan somehow makes it to his feet, and just throws Tympani down with a brutally strong punch! Titan with Tympani lifted up, and a hard kick to the mid-section..Titan has Tympani hoisted in the air, and POWERBOMB! Tympani has been in wars, the last few weeks, and Onslaught isn't felling to disappoint. Titan tags in Wraith, and Wraith up to the top rope from the apron. Tympani is layed out, and Wraith on the top rope can only mean trouble...MOONSAULT! NO! Tympani got her knees up, and both ladies are down. Finality is trying to get the crowd behind Tympani, and it seems to be working..."

JL: "Yeah..Tympani is stirring a little bit, and Wraith is more near to her corner than Tympani is, so it's going to a tough one."

JS: "Wraith makes the tag to the awiting Titan, and Tympani is almost near her corner..but Titan has her by her ankle..Finality reaching out despratly for the tag. Tympani whips around, but answers Titan with a STRONG EZUGARI! That broke, Titan's hold on Tympani, and Tympani lunges for the tag for Finality, and Finality makes it. Finality is in the ring, and Wraith is in illegally..Finality doesn't care has she's beating Onslaught with a passion for hurting her friend. Finality with a mild kick to Wraith..Finality, and WITH A SPINWHIRL FACEBUSTER!! Finality goes for the pin, but Wraith isn't the illegal person. Titan through from behind, and a REVERSE POWERBOMB! Tympani is still dazed from Titan's earlier attack, and can't help as Onslaught is doing a number to Finality. Titan with and the whip to the ropes, and a follow up powerslam! Wraith is right behind him with a lighting fast leg drop. It could near the end for the young ladies, as Titan has Finality lifted up for a powerbomb, and Wraith off the ropes...REALLY PAINFUL MOVE!! RPM!! RPM!!"

JL: "Looks like Onslaught have this one in the bag..referee is down,
ONE...TWO..THREE! NO! TYMPANI WITH A LEG DROP ON FROM THE TOP ROPE!! Just as the ref's hand was coming down, for the three, Tympani made the save.

JS: "Finality and Tympani are looking to win this match. Finality and
Wraith are brawling on the apron, and Finality just threw Wraith off the apron, and she just flew into the barricade! Wraith is on her feet, quite quickly I may add, and FINALITY WITH A DANGONRANA FROM THE APRON!! MY GOD! She just took out Wraith with that move!"

JL: "But, in the ring Joey! Titan is going for a superplex, but Tympani isn't the legal person! Finality is!"

JS: "Great point, King..but somehow, Tympani is blocking Titan's
superplex attempt, and Tympani now with stinging right hands to Titan's ribs. Tympani with the great defensive move..a low blow, and now Titan is on the defense. Tympani now has Titan set up for "The Hard Life", but Titan is just too big to budge. WAIT! Finality is right next to Tympani..she came from the apron..OH WAIT..NO!!! DOUBLE REVERSE DDT FROM THE TOP ROPE!! OH..MY GOD!! Titan is out cold..both Tympani and Finality are on top of Titan, and the referee is down to make the count..ONE, TWO, THREE!! F and T win! F and T win!!

Winner by pinfall >>> Finality and Tympani Craig

After the match, Finality and Tympani hug each other, and celebrate their victory in the ring. Tympani gives Finality one last hug, and Finality offers Tympani good luck on her upcoming match with Ryokami. Finality goes to the back, but as soon she steps behind the curtains, "Antichrist Superstar" by Marylin Mason hits, and Ryokami comes out to a roar of boos from the fans. The whole arena was booing at Ryokami, and he responded by smirking, as he cockily walks to the ring. Tympani looks pale in the face, but decides she better defend herself, as she goes to the opposite side of the ring Ryokami is on, and grabs herself a two steel chairs. Tympani rolls back into the ring, fully ready for Ryokami. Ryokami simply rolls into the ring, as the ring bell sounds.

Tympani takes a swing at Ryokami, and she fully connects with the his skull...literally. Ryokami smirks a little laugh out, and goes after Tympani full on. Tympani drops the chairs, and drop toe holds Ryokami right into the chairs! Ryokami merely gets up, and simply tosses Tympani out of the ring.

JS: "Tympani might be extremely tired from the tag match, she just taken
placed in."

Tympani slowly got to her feet, pulled out a chair from the ring. Tympani reached the apron, and threw the chair to Ryokami..Ryokami catches it, but caught Ryokami with a spinning wheel kick! The chair Ryokami had in his hands, but all Ryokami did was stumble back a few feet. Ryokami fought back, as he knocked Tympani out wiht a standing thrust kick, as soon as she got to her feet. Ryokami whips Tympani to the corner, and rushes after the Hardcore Champion. Tympani slides out the way, and Ryokami gets momentarily stunned. Tympani sets a chair up in the middle of the ring, and wedges the chair between the ring ropes in the corner where Ryokami is. Tympani uses a running start from the other side of the corner..

JS: "MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!! Tympani jumped onto the chair as a
springboard, and dropkicked the chair across Ryokami into his waist!!"

Even though, Ryokami might be half demonic immortal, that even made Ryokami quite dazed. Tympani didn't stop there, as she, bulldoged Ryokami onto the set-up chair! Ryokami fell to the ground, but he didn't stay long. Ryokami was up to his feet, but Tympani was there to meet him. Tympani took a swing of him with the steel chair, and Ryokami easily side-steps it. Ryokami grabs the chair from Tympani, and hits Tympani directly in the knee. Ryokami threw the chair behind Tympani, grabs her neck, goes under her arm, and delievers a Uranage Suplex onto the chair. Ryokami doesn't go for the pin, which could cost him the match. Ryokami is clearly out to hurt, Tympani Craig. Ryokami steps the two chairs up, so they're facing each other. Ryokami violently throws Tympani to the ropes, and puts her down with a powerslam through the two tables. Lower regions of Tympani's back starts to bleed a litte, but nothing major. Tympani slowly crawls to the ring corner, and uses that to host her up. Tymapni keeps coming, as she throws more punches into the jaw of Ryokami. Ryokami blocks most of the punches, and follows with his own. Ryokami kicks Tympani sternly in the ribcage, causing the champion to double over. Ryokami then lifts Tympani for a powerbomb, but Tympani reverses it into a facebuster. Tympani tries to mount some offense, but is unable to stop Ryokami's passion for killing. Tympani whips Ryokami into the ropes, and Ryokami begins to counter with a big boot attempt. Tympani some way blocks the reversal, and reverses it into a move of her own. Tympani takes Ryokami foot just before hitting her face, and takes Ryokami off his feet with a drangon leg screw. Ryokami was up to his feet, before Tympani even realized it. Tympani delievers a lariat to Ryokami with enough impact to take him out of the ring. Ryokami although went to the outside, he landed on his feet. Ryokami fished under the ring, until he pulls out a wooden table. Ryokami quickly assembles the table on the outside, and just waits for Tympani to make her move. Ryokami doesn't wait long, as Tympani throws herself over the ring ropes, and attempts a dragonrana on the outside. Ryokami make sure that doesn't happen, as he catches Tympani in mid-air, and drives Tympani through the table with a powerbomb. Ryokami still wasn't done with Tympani, as he picked her up, and continued to beat on her. Ryokami and Tympani got dangerously close to the annouce table, and Ryokami took Tympani's head and rammed it into the announce table. Tympani upper left eye starts to bleed, making the blood fall in her eye. Ryokami only laughs, and rushes a Tympani. Tympani manages to shun away the pain, and back body drops Ryokami on the annouce table. The table doesn't break, and Ryokami stays down for a few seconds. While Ryokami is layed out, Tympani takes the advantage, as she crawls onto the apron, from there going to the top rope. Tympani turns her back to Ryokami, and flys off the top rope with her patent moonsault. Joey Styles and "The King" had already moved away, trying to avoid any damage to themselves. After Tympani's moonsault, both Ryokami and Tympani seem to be hurt, but amazingly Ryokami arrives to his feet first. Ryokami picks up the beaten Tympani, and they fight around the ring, until they begin to fight up the ramp. Ryokami and Tympani begin to brawl until the reach the backstage area where cameras find them still fighting. Tympani whipped Ryokami into a steel garage door. It doesn't take the Bloodgrave long to recover, as he gives Tympani a cradle piledriver on the concrete of the backstage area. Tympani was completely out of it by then, as she slumped against a near wall, unable to get up to her feet. Ryokami runs at Tympani and plants his two feet right into the face of Tympani, with a low dropkick into Tympani's face. From then Tympani looked to be, seriously out of it. Ryokami put a evilish smirk, and then places Tympani in the Asaku Tsaku, pressing down on Tympani's nerves with his middle and ring finger. Just as the referee is about to count Tympani out of it, Ryokami free hand suddenly grabs his hand that was currently giving the Asaku Tsaku, and brings to punch himself?! Ryokami gives up from the fallen Tympani and the right continues with himself! Ryokami suddenly grabs a cinderblock laying on the ground..."You don't want to do that Mortis.." Ryokami is heard saying just before he smashed it over his head?!?! Ryokami goes down in a heap, and Tympani falls over on Ryokami. The referee counts the three count, as Tympani wins the match.

Winner by pinfall >>> Tympani Craig

Suddenly, Finality runs at, and helps Tympani up. Finality grabs the Hardcore Title for her from the referee, and helps her to the locker room. From then, Mayhem takes a commercial from what just took place.

**Commercial, so your stupid ass stop reading from here! =-ž**

Mayhem returns..in a very strange way. Ryokami had recovered and was now walking in the hall, arguing with himself. Every now and then, Ryokami would hit himself. Ryokami walks up the hall, until Ryokami launches himself into a plate glass window!! It takes Ryokami awhile to get up from that attack, but when he does he growls, "I hate you Mortis." A slighty different voice replies back, but in the same growl tone, "The feeling is mutual."

The scene fades from the the backstage area to Styles and King seating at a new ring announce table, as they look flubblergasted.

JS: ".......Let's just get to our next match."

With that, a loud howl of a wolf is heard as Kevin Nash steps onto the ramp, receiving a small pop from the fans. Nash walks to the ring, and steps over the ring ropes entering the ring. Nash stands, right in the center of the ring, and throws up the "Wolfpac sign" making the crowd pop a little more. "Iron Man" cues up, as Mechius gets HUGE heel heat from the crowd. Mechius simply walks to the ring, as the match begins.

*ding, ding*

JS: "This singles match is underway, and Mechius has came to fight..knee
lifts to teh gut of Nash. Mechius is with hard shots to Nash's body. Mechius with an elbow to the head of Nash, and irish whip into the corner."

JL: "Mechius goes after Nash, but Nash reliatalates with a big boot.
Nash threw Mechius in the corner, and is pressing his boot against Mechius' steel neck. Nash now with aimed shots into the upper body of Mechius. Mechius isn't taking anymore of Nash, and Mechius with a punch into Nash. Mechius fires back with a high elbow into the chest of Nash, and Nash goes tilting back. Nash tries to hit Mechius with a big boot, but Mechius just side-steps it. Mechius grabs Nash's leg, and now he's kicking it. Nash is hopping around, and Mechius takes Nash to the ground with a leg sweep.

JS: "Nash goes down with a 'thud', and Mechius with a legdrop, right
over the throat of Nash. Mechius back up, and ANOTHER legdrop. Mechius has Nash's legs..and he's putting him in the 'The Venom Strike'?"

JL: "This is exactly what Mechius was doing last week, and the crowd
isn't liking this one bit. Mechius pulling back, and Nash is in pain. WOW! Nash's leg strength just threw Mechius off of him! Mechius quickly up to his feet, and decks Nash down with a nasty clothesline. Mechius picking up Nash by his hair, and is trying to get him up for a suplex, but Nash isn't going for it. Nash now has Mechius up for a suplex...Nash about to drop Mechius down, but Mechius gets behind Nash's back! Mechius with a grapple from behind, and GERMAN SUPLEX! Wait..Mechius just rolled Nash over, but Nash blocked it by locking his legs around Mechius'! Mechius untangles his legs from Nash, and drop his down forcefully with a reverse powerbomb! Mechius lift Nash up.."

JS: "THE SHUT-DOWN!! MECHIUS HAS IT LOCKED IN! Nash is trying to fight
it..but it looks like he's going under. Wait..Mechius lets go of Nash..whips him around, strong kick to his mid-section...GAME OVER!! GAME OVER!! Mechius down for the pin..one, two, three! Mechius can take that win to the bank.

Winner by pinfall >>> Mechius

JL: "LOOK STYLES! The nWo has hit the ring....and they came prepared!!"

Just as 'The King' had said, the nWo had came out to attack Mechius. The nWo had brought out black baseball bats, and they were using them. The Rock gave Mechius his patent tilt-a-whirl bodyslam, and that took Mechius down. Mechius didn't stay down long, but Booker T. caught him with a axe kick when Mechius got up, taking him back down. Rock and Booker picked up Mechius, and planted him down what they call the "Booker Bottom". What is actually a "Book End" and "Rock Bottom" combo. Mechius refused to stay down, but Jeff Jarrett put him down quickly with a guitar shot to his metal head. Jeff then picked up Mechius, whipped him into the corner, and gave Mechius, "The Stroke". After they finished, they're attack, the nWo celebrated in the ring. Suddenly, Mechius' red eyes gim a little, and Mechius springs to his feet. Mechius grabs the person nearest to him..Jarrett. Jarrett gets 'Tombstoned' by Mechius. Nash who just recovered for Mechius' 'Game Over', gets another Game Over as he got up. Mechius whips both Booker T. and The Rock, around and they receive a DOUBLE-GAME OVER!! Mechius exit the ring, leaving his path of destruction behind him, as Mayhem takes another commercial back!

[Credit to Booker LG]

"Wasted Youth Crew" by Blood for Blood begins to play, and the EAW Television Champion, Krist Jonsson comes out from the back to a reaction that is perhaps just a little bit tilted in the positive. Deanna is not far behind.

JS: Here comes our World Television Champion, the Overlord. Krist Jonsson isn't exactly the sensitive type...

JL: Krist just has a good idea; keep personal feeling and business separate. This isn't Krist being an ass, this is Krist being sensible.

Krist gets in the ring and unbuckles the belt from his waist and hands it to the referee, who holds it up in the air.

JL: The belt is on the line here tonight...

"Cowboy" (Instrumental) by Kid Rock begins to play over the PA, and Jeff Jarrett comes out from the back, holding his silver guitar high in the air.

JS: Here is the challenger! Jarrett is fresh off a big win on Sunday Night Showdown....

Cut to a video clip of Jeff Jarrett delivering the Stroke to Kane, then covering him for the three.

JS: ...and this is his second match. Jarrett layed down the challenge to Overlord to put his belt on the line. Overlord accepted, and this match was signed.

JL: A fighting champion, JR. Overlord has beaten high-caliber superstars twice a night, and he's fresh against Jarrett. I gotta go with Overlord on this.

JS: Overlord is indeed a fighting champion, but Jarrett may take the title tonight.

JR: Not if Triple H or the Minister have anything to say about it...

JS: Good point. But also Overlord has the backing of the WYC, Jarrett has the backing of the nWo.

JL: S-H-U-T T-H-E F-

JS: N-O...X-Y-Z K-I-N-G.

JL: Uh-O.

*Ziiiiiippp...*

*Ding, Ding*

JS: The drawbridge is up, and the match is on! Jarrett is staring down Overlord.

Overlord grabs the sunglasses off Jarrett's face, throws them on the mat, and stomps them.

JL: There goes Jarrett's sunglasses. Oh well...I saw a huge bin of them at the Dollar Store on my way to JC Penny's. He could give one away every show like Bret Hart used to do. He'd be out...one hundred bucks a year.

JS: That may just have been enough to infuriate Jarrett. THUMB TO THE EYE!! Jarrett whips Overlord...catches hit with a knee to the midsection! Overlord is back up...rights to Jarrett. Elbow straight in the chops. Jarrett with an inverted atomic drop! Chop the chest!! (Crowd "Whoos!") Another ("Whooo!")...Another ("Whoo!")! Stinging chops to Krist Jonnson. Overlord attempts to counter...Jarrett with the hammerlock! Krist runs into the referee! KICK BETWEEN THE LEGS BY OVERLORD!!

JL: Groin-grabbingly transcendant move! Flair-esque tactics! DDT followup.

JS: Pick up....Northern Lights Suplex by Overlord....One...NO!! Not quite enough; Jarrett still has plenty of gas left.

JL: Some Beano will take care of that little problem...

JS: Jarrett getting back up...scoop and a slam by Overlord. That move isn't going to do much...but judging by Jarrett's ring positioning...

JL: MOONSAULT coming up....Krist up to the second...up to the top...aaaaaaaand THERE IT IS!! MOONSAULT!!

ALL: ONE...TWO...NOOOOO!!!

JS: Great resiliency on the part of Jarrett. Krist Jonsson pulls him to his feet...set up...Overlord looking for the piledriver...COUNTER!! Jarrett backdrops Overlord!! Overlord back up...Jarrett going for it!! JUMPING PILEDRIVER!! OH MY GOD!! Overlord's head bounces of the mat like a POGO STICK!!

JL: *King Shriek^TM* Overlord!! YOU OKAY!?! I think our
Television Champion is severely injured!

JS: Looks like we'll find out....cover...ONE...TWO...NO!!!

JL: Overlord is still with us!! Jarrett is in trouble now...because Overlord is getting up...and I think he's pissed.

JS: Both men charging...DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!! Both men are down!! The referee is going to begin the count.

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

JS: Jarrett to his feet...Overlord as well....Clothesline by Over--ducked by Jarrett...Kneebreaker!! Pick up...another one...

JR: Looks like Jarrett is going to use Overlord's Figure Four again *sighs*

JS: Jarrett picks up Overlord...Dragon Screw Leg Whip...Overlord up and limping...Jarrett attempts a sleeper...Overlord slips free--JAWBREAKER!! Jarrett is back up....ROAD RAGE BY OVERLORD!! THAT'S BIGG RIGG'S FINISHING MOVE!! Cover...ONE--KICKOUT!! KICKOUT AT ONE!!

JR: That piece of sh*t move can't do a damn thing to an EAW star, even a newcomer like Jarrett.

JS: I guess the move sucks as much as it's owner...

JR: Yeah, for Bigg Rigg's Christmas bonus, Bill Shear gave Rigg a new set of kneepads...to replace the ones he wore out under his de-

JS: WE DON'T NEED TO HEAR IT!! Snap Suplex by Overlord....Jarrett clutching his back...kick to the back by Overlord...another...pick up...whip to the ropes by Overlord...reversal...Russian Leg Sweep by Jeff Jarrett!!

JR: Jarrett is going for the figure four!

JS: And he locks it on...Figure Four!! Center of the ring! Excellent ring positioning by Jarrett. Overlord needs to get to the ropes for the break or flip over and reverse the hold!

JL: Nothing escapes you, does it Styles? It's one of his key moves, he knows how to reverse it.

JS: Overlord isn't even trying to reach for the ropes, he's trying to flip over and reverse the hold.

JL: COME ON OVERLORD!! FLIP!! FLIP!! FLIP!!

JS: Jarrett trying to keep Overlord in position...Overlord is flipping him!! AND THERE IT IS!! Overlord flips Jarrett!! The pressure is on Jarrett's knees now!!

JL: THERE we go. SQUEAL LIKE A PIGGY JARRETT!! SQUEAL!!

JS: Jarrett scrambles for the ropes...crawling on his belly...THERE IT IS!! The referee has Overlord break it. Jarrett is definitely going to be slow to get up. Jarrett weakened Overlord's legs, but Overlord is still quickly climbing to the top. Jarrett climbing to his feet...MISSILE DROP KICK FROM OVERLORD!!! Overlord drags him to the corner!!

JL: It's all over Styles....

JS: You just may be right King. Overlord to the top again...GIANT LEAP!! ONE...TWO...THREE!! Overlord retains the television title!!

JL: Another big win for Overlord...

JS: Jarrett didn't let this one go without a fight, though.

Winner by Pinfall >>> Krist "Overlord" Jonsson

**A promo for Lilith's and Hera lovely porno movie is shown. Nothing too vulgar..you have to buy to video to see all of it! =-ž**

Mayhem comes back from the commercial break, as the People's Title match, is about to begin.

MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDD

"Bawitdaba" hits out of nowhere, and Kidd Foxx comes out, carrying a wooden table?! Foxx brings the table in the ring, and sets it up in the middle of the ring. Foxx asked the ring introducer for the for the micorphone, and he gets what he wants."

Foxx: "Tisk..the EAW has gotten alot worse than I thought. I don't like
to get into any fight, myself. I wrestled tonight with pure respect with my friend UFO, to prove who is best between two good friends...."

"But, having two people that don't know each other, is a completely different story...so what I'm offering is that Mr.Dogstar and Mr.Kael settle this match...in a arm wrestling match."

Suddenly. "Getting High on Your Own Supply" cues up, as the challenger for the People's Title, Maximus "The Minister" Kael steps out and steadily walks to the ring. Minister steps in the ring, and completely ignores Kidd Foxx's attempt to turn the match into a arm wrestling match. Minister just walks to the corner..and looks outside the ring, checking for something.

JS: "I think Minister is searching for the elves again."

JL: "NO! It's the gnomes, Joey!"

JS: "Gnomes only go after the bapists, King--"

Before Styles and 'King' can discuss their theory about gnomes and elves any farther, "Of Wof and Main" hits, and the reigning People's Champion, "Big Yiffy" Colley Dogstar comes out to a well pop from the fans. Yiffy enters the ring, and hands the People's Title over to Referee Ayane. The bell rings, and the match is off...sorta.

JS: "Colley is just trying to get Foxx out of his way, so he can start
his match with Minister, and MY GOD!! WHAT POWER!! Colley threw Foxx, right our announce table! Foxx head bounced against our table...he's out cold! *ding, ding* Colley was trying to see if Foxx was hurt on the inside of the ring, but Minister is trying to win the title tonight. Minister with a great suplex onto Colley on the hard mat. Colley quickly to his feet, and helluva clothesline taking Minister off of his feet.

JL: "You might had noticed, that Minister is currently undefeated in the
EAW. Just recently, he beat Kairi Lyger on Sunday Night Showdown to get his shot tonight."

JS: "And, he's trying to prove that he deserves this shot. Minister gets
back up, and jumps on Colley. He's pounding his head..rapid shots to the head of Colley. Colley managed to throw Minister off. Minister up..and Colley catches him with a big boot, knocking him into the corner. Colley tries to connect with a shoulderblock, but Minister stops him with a elbow. Minister goes to the second rope...and a sunset flip..one count. Colley uses his leverage, and flips up onto Minister, in a pinning poisition..one count. AH! Minister lifted to up by Colley..when Minister is still holding onto Colley. Colley with a stern kick..and EVENFLOW DDT!! Colley rolls over with a cover..ONE, TWO..NO! Only a two count. Minister is up, and a hard kick to Colley's 'little puppies'. And..not the kind I like. Minister hooks Colley..SPINNING JAW BREAKER!!! Minister right on top of Colley..1_2..AH! ONLY A 2 COUNT! I thought we had a new champion, right there."

JS: "Minister isn't done yet...and a STF is applied!! Colley is
reaching..can he grab the ropes? Minister is pulling harder..YES! Colley has the ropes. Minister must break the hold..and he does. Colley up to his feet, and the crowd is getting behind him...Minister rushing him, AND POWERSLAM!! Colley has him..1-2..AH! 2 count ONLY! Minister fights back..and PILEDRIVER! He really drove Colley with that one! Minister picks Colley, but Colley responds back with huge right hands. He's rushing at the challenger..OUCH! Minister just back body dropped Colley into the corner, and Colley is and hooked..in a tree of woe poisition! Minister with fierce shots to Colley's knee..great game plan. Take Colley's legs out from him, and he can't be powerbombed! Colley gets untangled, from the ropes, and is in the corner stunned. Minister tries to follow up, and he eats turnbuckle pad. Minister gets whipped around..and CORNER POWERBOMB!! Colley could have the match won..and Minister stumbles out of the corner. Foxx is near us..finally getting life back. Colley goes for a clothesline..AHHH!! Minister ducked and Colley nailed Referee Ayane Mitsui right in the chest. Colley goes over to check on Ayane, but then realized he must not give Minister any time to recover. Minister running at Colley..WOW! GORRILA PRESS SLAM INTO A STOMACH BUSTER!! OUCH!! Minister is layed in the middle of the ring now..and Colley kicked the arm of Minister inward. Could it be? Colley takes off the elbow pad, and the crowd goes besark as he throws it. Colley heading toward..WAIT!!! FOXX WITH A SUPERKICK!! Foxx is sneaking to the backstage, and Colley is damn near out of it. Minister now has THE HAND OF GOD!! COLLEY IS OUT!! Ayane is to it, and sees this before..NEW PEOPLE'S CHAMPION!!"

Winner by submission >>> Maximus "The Minister" Kael; New EAW People's Champion

JS: "Foxx just robbed Colley of the People's Title, and we have a new champion. *sighs* We'll take a commercial break, and the Main Event is NEXT!"

**Commercial Break**

[credit to Booker Purgatory]

Styles: Finally we have Triple H against Cyrus in a Cage Match!!

King: And to make it even more interesting..Its between Triple H and
Cyrus!!

Styles:..I just said that..Your getting to be an old Man King..

King: HA! You Lie!..On to the Match!

*"The Way I Am" By Eminem ques up as Triple H makes his way down to the ring with Hera, his lovely manager.*
King: AHHHH!!! Now I hope Hera comes and sits with us Styles, I really
do!

Styles: Is the only head you have on the end of your penis King?

King: You SAID HEAD!! AHHHH!!!

Styles:..whatever King..

*Triple H reaches the cage just as "The Next Episode" by Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, and Nate Dogg. Cyrus makes his way down to the ring slightly booed. Triple H ushers Hera away from the cage door as he climbs in.*

Styles: Well this match is about to get underway.

King: Hera is looking better then ever no?

Styles: KING!..anyway, Cyrus is getting into the ring now..Triple H is on
the offensive in an instant, hammering on the back of Cyrus! Triple H with swift knees to Cyrus's rips. Wow, it seems Triple H has taken the advantage in the match rather quickly.

King: Ohh..but that low blow from Cyrus can end these sort of things so
quickly..Cyrus getting up slowly as Triple H falls to his knees..not the usual possition that Triple H takes...

Styles: KING!

*Cyrus begins to go to work on Triple H's face, centering on the fore head. Cyrus pulls Triple H up and sends him into the ropes hitting him with a stiff closeline. Triple H is up quickly only to be taken down again with a strong closeline. Cryus picks Triple H up and sends him into the ropes and once again goes for the closeline but Triple H counters, ducking under the closeline and hitting a neckbreaker.*
King: Nice move there by Triple H, It really caught the well trained Cyrus
off his feet. Triple H is the first to get up and he starts to kick Cyrus in the ribs again. Triple H pulls up Cyrus and hits him with a But Buster.

Styles: Triple H seems to be working on those ribs, a sound idea because if
a man doesn't have any wind in his body he can't climb a cage quickly nor can he put up any sort of offensive and can put up only a small defense.

King: well Triple H is one of the more technically sound wrestlers here in
the EAW you know. Triple H picking up Cyrus and sending him into the ropes. On the return Cyrus is hit with a high knee! Triple H is going to the win already!!

Styles: It looks like Triple H wants to end this match early!! He is
starting to climb the cage..but Wait!! Cyrus and swiftly crawling to the side of the cage. He pulls himself up and starts to climb after Triple H!!

King: Cyrus is doing well for a man that has just had his rips attacked!
Cyrus has Triple H by his foot. Triple H is on the verge of winning already! His leg is over the side of the cage! Oh No, it looks like Cyrus has been able to force Triple H back down to the top rope..

*Both men start to hammer eachother on the top rope, holding onto the cage with one arm and puching with the other. Cryus takes the advantage and starts to hit Triple H with some stunning lefts. Triple H is teattering on the top rope, his hand holding the cage just bearly holding on. Cryus hooks the arm and the leg..RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP OFF THE TOP ROPE!!*

Styles: OHMYGOD!!!Cyrus just hit a very important move there! That could
have been the momentum changer right there..

King: What are you talking about Styles?! That could have stopped this match
cold!..

Styles:..Wait..it looks like Cyrus is stirring..now Triple H is starting to move..they are using the ropes to pull themselves up. Triple H and Cryus are now on their feet..Triple H goes for the punch but it is blocked and answered by Cyrus..Another punch from Cyrus and Triple goes down.

King:..This is Cyrus's chance! If he can make it out of the cage he is all set!

*Cyrus grabs Triple H by the legs and spreds them appart. He then points to Hera and drops a knee right on Triple H's groin!*

King: AAHHHH!!!Damn that Cyrus! Poor Hera!!

Styles: Cyrus is now climbing the cage!..Triple H is moving slowly. Cyrus
turns around and sees Triple H moving..He is standing on the top rope...he jumps!..Triple H counters!! AMAZING! On Cyrus's way down Triple H turned and hit a mid air Drop Toe Hold!

King: AHH!..well Styles, looks like there has been another momentum
change...

Styles: Triple H had better get out of there before Cyrus recovers, Now is
his chance!

*Triple H doesn't seem to hear Style's advice and instead starts to stomp away on Cyrus. He takes Cyrus's legs and slaps on a Figure Four*

King: AHH..Triple H you gotta get out of the cage, not play around!

Styles: Its seems Triple H wants to add alittle insult to injury
King..Triple H is releasing the hold..He is now Slapping Cyrus in the face...Triple H sets Cyrus up for the Pedigree..NO! Cryus Counters! He flips Triple H over his back, Triple H is angerly up to his feet and spins around only to be met with a drop kick to the nose!

King: I told you Triple H, it was a bad idea to let Cyrus get some
energy..Cyrus is now stomping Triple H into a corner. He is choking Triple H with his foot...he releases and gets Triple H out by his hair..He runs to the nearest cage wall and ramps Triple H's face into it!
Styles: He is now running to the next cage wall and doing the same thing!
Cyrus picks Triple H up into a vertical Suplex..he reverses it onto the ropes! Triple H lands Groin first!!..

King: Poor Hera! Triple H's one eyed monster has taken a real beating in
this match!

Styles:..ew...anyway..Cyrus off the ropes..He Spears Triple H into the cage wall off the ropes!! It looks like Cyrus hurt himself in that one to!

*Cyrus rolls out into the middle of the ring as Triple H slowly recovers next to the wall. Cyrus gets up slowly and walks over to Triple H. He drags Triple H out from the cage wall by his foot. He then grabs Triple H by the hair and pulls him up. Cyrus sends Triple H into the ropes and goes to flip him over his back but Triple H scouts it and hits the Face Buster off his knee*

King: There is some smart Wrestling now Triple H! Now get out of the
cage!!

Styles: I don't know Triple H has taken something of a beating in the match,
I don't think he will be able to make it out..Triple H makes his way over to the turnbuckle and starts to climb out.

King: He is to the top Turnbuckle..wait..Now Cyrus is stiring...Triple H
doesn't see Cyrus climbing the other turnbuckle...Oh no...Triple H sees now..Cyrus is now almost over the top of the cage now..Triple H and Cyrus are staring eachother down ontop of the cage, standing on the top of it...

Styles: ..It looks like they are trash talking eachother..Triple H flips off
Cyrus..now Cyrus and Triple H are edging closer to eachother on the top of the cage...They are now Fighting on the top of the wall of the cage!!!

King: If They are not careful they could end eachothers lives!!..Cyrus and
Triple H are pummeling eachothers faces..........Cyrus takes a step forward
but it gets caught in the metal!!

Styles: OHMYGOD!!!!!!!!Cyrus just triped and Grabed Triple H for
support!!Triple H and Cyrus just Fell off the cage!! Well Triple H did, it looks like Cyrus's foot is caught in the metal and his head just bounced off the cage wall!! The back of Cyrus's head looks to be bleeding now!..

King: What about Triple H!! He landed on the back of his head for God's
sake!! No one is moving!....wait..Triple H is moving..sort of..

Styles: You idiot thats him breathing!

King: Well alteast thats a sign that he is alive..Wait! Did you see
that..Triple H is really moving now...slowly he is making his wall up to his feet..he is to his knees...

Styles: On the other hand, Cyrus is not moving at all, just sort of hanging
there, dripping blood into the ring..Triple H makes his way over to Cyrus, wobbling around like a drunk..He pulls on Cyrus a few times then finally yanks him down into the ring. Cyrus lands with a thud!

King:..Now what??..Ah Triple H is setting Cyrus up for the Pedigree..PEDIGREE! Triple H hits the double underhook face first piledriver..Triple H is now climbing the cage..he is to the top..and is over..and to the ground, Its OVER!! TRIPLE H WINS!!

Styles: Yeah but you HAVE to give Cyrus some credit he did almost win..it
all ended with that fall off the top of the cage..his leg got caught and he was probably knock out cold by the wall..

King: Yeah thats true..Wait! The Wasted Youth Crew is coming down to the
ring!! Overlord and Minister "Killer of Elves", are now at ring side..Minister goes and checks on Triple H, while Krist gets into the ring and starts to kick Cyrus in the gut. Minister then gets into the ring!!

Styles: This isn't right! Damn it this should be happening!

King: Then you try to stop it!!..

*Triple H grabs a table out from under the ring and slides in into the cage door. Minister and Krist are stomping away on Cyrus. Minster walks over to the table and helps unfold it..Krist drages Cyrus over to the table and sets him on it. Minister and Triple H continue to punch Cyrus while Krist walks over to a near by Turnbuckle*
Styles: King! They aren't going to do what I think they are..are they?

King: I think you are about to see The Giant Leap Styles!

Styles: Kirst is at the top turnbuckle..But He keeps Climbing!! He is at the
top of the cage..He jumps..OHMYGOD!!!!!! THE GIANT LEAP THREW CYRUS AND THREW THE TABLE!!! DAMN IT!! CYRUS IS COUGHING UP BLOOD!

King: Well look at Krist there, he is holding his stomach..and Triple H is
leaning against the ropes, weak after the match..and see ther, Minister is on his back laughing his ass off..they are hurting to..
Styles: Shut up King!..Now what?..Minister is talking to Triple H and
Krist..They all nod and get out of the ring..Minister walks over to the pryo booth..He grabs something from them..it looks like a pipe with some of the pyro's in it...

King: Hey look at Krist and Triple H..looks like they are loosening up a few
of the hinges of the cage walls....They are telling the ring crew to raise the cage..its starting to raise..

Styles:..What the hell is the Minister doing?...He just lite the pyros..AHHHhhHHHHHHHHH!!!! Minster just shot some red fire pyro into the rising cage! The cage just fell apart!! ON TOP OF CYRUS!!!!!! DAMN IT!! ITS A f---ING TRAVESTY!!

King: STYLES!! The cage is now in pieces lying ontop of Cyrus who is some
where in the rumble...

Styles:..look at those bastards..standing there with their arms in the air...they are leaving..thank god, some one get some medics out here..

Suddenly, the lights dim, and a gunshot is heard over the P.A. The light returns shortly, and The Flyboy is standing on the ramp. HHH notices immediately, and turns to stare at him. Flyboy only stares at HHH with hard cold eyes.

JS: "Oh my..Flyboy and Triple H are going to go at it! We're out of time..see you next time on EAW entertainment!"