The amazing salvo of fireworks exploding opens up the show, showing a spectacularly packed crowd. Signs include "COME BACK MEGAN!", "I'M STILL KENNY ROGERS", "BISCHOFF FOR PRESIDENT...OF MCDONALDS", "THIS SIGN IS ACTUALLY A COMPUTER!", "GIVE ME EAW OR GIVE ME DEATH!", and the ever popular "NANI?" sign.

BG: Hiya everyone! Welcome to EAW Mayhem. BG Hyde here with Paul Heyman, ready for action as only EAW can bring!

Heyman: Except when it comes to WWE Smackdown, with the NEXT BIG THING...BROCK...LESNAR!

BG: Quit your whoring and let's start the show!

"Apathy" by KMFDM cues up and Hokuto, in her Seal of Blood form steps out. She gets a mixed reaction from the crowd, the only non-cheers being becasue of her current form and unsure what to think.

Capetta: The following match is scheduled for One-fall and is for the EAW Cruiserweight Championship! Making her way to the ring, weighing 129 lbs, hailing from Kyoto, Japan, Hokuto Lyger!!

BG: Hokuto is the smaller of the two.

Paul: Yeah, but she's got that Seal of Blood thing going. That means she's gonna be one tough cookie. And sadistic too! I can't wait!

"Bombshell" by Powerman 5000 comes on and as the stage explodes in pyro, Glenda steps out. She motions to the Cruiserweight title around her waist. She's getting a pretty good cheer.

And the Champion, making her way form Menmphis, TN, at 215 lbs, Glenda "Unibomb" Jacobs!

BG: Hokuto normally gives up alot of weight and power to Glenda.

Paul: Yeah, Glenda really pushes the limits of the Cruiserweight division. She's not all fancy jumping around. She brings a technical and power element. How many Cruiserweights do YOU know that can bench and toss around as much as her?

BG: ... without powers? None. But Like I said, without powers... and it's clear that Hokuto has that Blood Seal mode going on, so Glenda will need to watch out.

The match starts out on a sort of even keel, both women drawing on equal technical skills. They fight hard for a good 5 minutes before Glenda managed to change the mood with a Jacknife Powerbomb, which serves to weaken Hokuto and open up the doors for more power moves and brawling.

Hokuto manages to slip away and reverse a G-Bomb, however and plants Glenda with a falling DDT. the ball soon falls inot Hokuto's court as she uses unrelenting speed attacks to keep Glenda from being able to concentrate on the slower and more predictable power moves.

Finally, with a toe kick, Hokuto doubles Glenda over and gets up up for the Crucifix Lygerbomb.

BUT... before she hits it, Vega appears out of nowhere and rakes his claws across her back. She drops Glenda, falling on her knees in pain, slashes across her back. The Ref calls for the bell.

Winner by DQ, and STILL EAW Cruiserweight Champion: Glenda "Unibomb" Jacobs

Vega is stalking Hokuto when he's suddenly speared from the side by Glenda. He and Glenda get into it, his claws getting knocked away. They're back up when he moonsault kicks her in the face, sending her over and out.

Vega is then spun around by the new standing Hokuto.

Paul: Whooo hoo!! We're about to see some Seal of Blood stuff...

BG: My god!! She just blasted him in the chest with a ki blast at point blank range! Vega was tossed over the rope and went rolling halfway up the ramp!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

BG: Vega slowly up and Cassandra out to help him back. Glenda in now with her belt and... Holding Hokuto's hand up!

Paul: OH NO! But That Seal of Blood Hokuto is ONE MEAN BITCH! She just jerked away from Glenda and gave her the Crucifix Lygerbomb anyway!

BG: Damn! Hokuto draping that belt over Glenda's KOed body and leaving.

**Commercial Break**

As we return from break...

"Conflict" by Disturbed cues up as we come back from break, with Nova walking out to a rather mixed reaction, twirling about in his hand the club of molten metal he fashioned himself, a shovel, and a bag of who-knows-what-else slung over his shoulder, as Crysta walks out closely behind.

Capetta: The following match will be scheduled for one fall, and be held under Extreme Championship Wrestling match rules, and will be for the managerial services of Crysta. No disqualifications, no count outs, and pinfalls or submissions will ONLY count INSIDE THE RING! Introducing first, accompanied by Crysta, from Silicon Valley, California...he stands 5'10" and weighs in at 220 pounds...NOVA!!

BG: Welcome everyone, back to Mayhem, and tonight we're going to see...very possibly...the last time those terrible titans, Nova and Eighteen, clash...because if Eighteen doesn't win this one, she said she's LEAVING the EAW.

Paul: He's not a Titan, he's EAW/ECW all the way through! And Eighteen responsible for those glass-sprinked glass tables put around ringside--but she's STILL not got a clue about being extreme. Nova was BORN for it...

BG: Nova stepping inside the ring, and demanding a microphone here...

"Just a moment of your time, if you will...and Eighteen can certainly stand to wait a minute or so more before I start kicking her ass. For those of you unaware, tonight will be Eighteen's LAST MATCH in EAW, and likely then she will join WWE, to be ogled by Bischoff most likely, as part of their Raw roster. Let me say, before I bash your brains in, so I don't have to go out of my way to find what hospital they take you to--BYE-BYE Eighteen, and don't let the door hit ya where Gero split ya. Bring it on, ya bimbo bitchbot..." he then tosses the mic aside, gesturing for Eighteen to come out..

Paul: Fightin' words from Nova...and shame that Eighteen chose that Raw brand--but at least maybe she can refine her skills before Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon talks her into leaving. She could very well be the second biggest star on Smackdown! Right behind the NEXT BIG THING of course.

BG: Heyman SHAMELESSLY plugging, as usual...but if Eighteen does lose...it could happen.

"Digimortal" by Fear Factory begins to play...

Paul: It WILL happen! IT WILL...just a matter of time, Bea...just a matter of time.

Capetta: And his opponent...

Eighteen comes out to the ring wearing her original Red Ribbon Army outfit (the outfit she was wearing when she was freed from her stasis pod; black shirt with white sleeves, black tights, orange boots, a blue denim vest with the Red Ribbon "RR" Insignia on the back, and a blue denim mini-skirt.)

BG: Nova's comments definitely firing up Eighteen, heading to the ring with no further delay...

*ding, ding*

BG: Crysta looking on from the outside as this begins...Eighteen looking for a test of strength--Nova oblig--SUCKERS HIM IN with a kick to the side of the head! LOW BLOW on Nova...grabbing a steel chair--NAILS HIM in the back of the head! Picking up Nova, setting him up--gut wrench suplex, and Nova down to the mat.

Paul: Eighteen surprisingly showing she may have the mentality for Extreme matches...but the experience--I think not.

BG: Eighteen picking up the chair again--swing and--BLOCKED BY NOVA...pushing Eighteen away as he stands up--kick to the midsection--set up and DDT by Nova onto the chair!

Paul: Nova grabbing the chair, and going up top...TOP ROPE SPLASH WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!

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ONE!--KICKOUT?!

BG: Eighteen very tough, as we know...even turned down to a power level of 200. Nova grabbing that blunt club, and ramming it into the back of Eighteen--CLUBBING her across the knees...

Paul: Nova demonstrating he's better than even the world's first superhero...CAPTAAAAAAIN CAAAAAAAVEMAN!

BG: Now blatantly choking her with it, and setting it aside...Nova picking up Eighteen...launches her into the ropes, picked up and PANCAKE PRESSES her face-first on the steel chair! Now picking her up now...WAIT--Eighteen headbutting Nova--hooks the arms, and a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX on Nova...both of them down, already feeling hte effects here..

Paul: Eighteen seems to be the first to get up here...and now getting in the bag here...and...a pair of bricks!!

BG: Nova pulling himself up with the ropes...but Eighteen coming from behind--and CLAPS THE BRICKS TOGETHER ON HIS HEAD!! Ramming it into his spine...Nova down on his back...stacking them--and LEGDROP ACROSS THE BRICKS layed on his groin!!

Paul: Ooooh...and that's the only layin' he'll be doing for a while. Nova rolled to the outside...and surely those tables are her aim...

BG: And attempting to place Nova on that--Nova fighting back! Kicks Eighteen in the midsection now---and...

Paul: GOOOOOORE!! GOOOOOOORE!! GOOOOOOOOORE into the steel steps! Thanks for letting me have that one.

BG: Okay...only one tonight, though. Even if Edge does one. =P Nova pulling the steps away from the ringpost--DROPPING IT on the chest of Eighteen...now dragging it over...and...sliding it under the table?!

Paul: Nova looking to end this quickly...and whips Eighteen onto the table...raking her body against that broken glass...and now up on the apron...this is insane!! I CAN'T LOO--SWANTON BOMB!! SWANTOM BOMB!! SWANTON BOMB!!

BG: It breaks the table in half, but is LAYING on top of the stairs, so hasn't completely put her through...but has put her back down HARD against the steps.

Paul: Nova picking her up now...DROPS her face-first onto the steps again...RUBBING HER FACE INTO THE BROKEN GLASS, and Eighteen's face getting cut up.

BG: Eighteen slumped over it, and Nova going back up on the apron...coming off--CAUGHT BY EIGHTEEN!! Bearhug on Nova--INTO A FRONT SLAM ONTO THE STAIRS!!

Paul: Nova accidentally setting his own self up for a nasty fall here...grabbing his back in pain, and Eighteen now SLAMMING his face into the apron! Nova seated on the steel steps...Eighteen off the apron--MOONSAULT DDT into the glass shards!!

BG: Taking a lot of both of them, however...Nova now busted open as well as Eighteen from before. Eighteen getting up, and Nova doing the same, slowly...grabbing her in a waistlock...SLAMS her stomach first into the apron. Nova rolling into the ring, and grabbing that shovel....dragging her in by the arms...attacking her back region with it...harder...harder!!

Paul: THE SHOVEL BROKE OFF!! WHOA!!

BG: Cover by Nova...

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ONE!

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Tw--NO!

Paul: Nova up, and--ramming the broken wood into the eye of Eighteen! Now putting it up underneath the chin, choking Eighteen, as he sets her up on the turnbuckle...and a HANGMAN'S NECKBREAKER with the broken shovel!!

BG: Nova now setting the rest of it up...NOVACAINE!!

Paul: Say goodnight...and say GOODBYE to Eighteen!

BG: Cover by Nova...

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ONE!

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TWO!

Kickout?!

Paul: Nova decking Eighteen--mounting her and slugging away, frustrated at the kickout...BLATANT CHOKE BY EIGHTEEN!!

BG: All legal in this match...Eighteen fighting her way up, with Nova in this chokehold--HOISTS HIM OVERHEAD!!

Paul: AN AMITYVILLE HORROR! Eighteen with a cover...

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout by Nova?! Unbe-freakin'-leivable!

BG: And Eighteen kicking at Nova as he's down...picking him up now...reverse DDT position...set up, and a REVERSE BRAINBUSTER on that steel chair!!

Paul: That looks like it may have wiped Nova out...but she's not going for the cover..instead...leaving the ring...and..pushing that glass table up next to the apron!

BG: Obvious what she may have very well planned here...and rolling back in...the table set up next to the top rope. Nova seems to have come to, and Eighteen with right hands...sends Nova to the ropes--HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK connects, and Nova tumbling ONTO THE TABLE!!

Paul: Luckily for her...unlikely for Nova, he's positioned perfectly for a follow up...going up to the top rope...and...AAAAAIIIEEEE--

BG: SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT PUTS NOVA THROUGH THE TABLE...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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NO!! Nova kicking out!

Paul: Eighteen back up..and undoing the turnbuckle pads...perfectly legal here, and it helped Chris Benoit win his match over a week ago on Raw, so perhaps wise move by Eighteen--then again, maybe not, because HERE COMES NOVA!!

BG: NOVA CHARGING AND HITS A SPEAR into the back of Eighteen!! Nova now dragging her away from the ropes...and...what in tha? Nova now setting up the painful Gory Special! And he could win it by submission here...and no rope breaks to save her, even if her arms were free...

Paul: HAHAHAH!...now...Nova walking her away from the corner...and now he's--RAMMING HER FACE FIRST INTO THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE BOLT!!

BG: Pin made by Nova...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Paul: But Eighteen too stubborn--or stupid--to let this go, and Nova wisely taking the chance to deck her a few times for good measure, and slapping her face around to add insult...yanking her up by that stringy, artificial hair, and set for--the SPIN DOCTOR!! And Nova still holding on...pick up--and REVERSE DDT DROP--a variation on the DDT Squared!

BG: Nova picking her up now, and laying one of those bricks underneath her head...one on top....and...uh oh...

Paul: GRABBING THE CLUB NOW, and SMASHES IT ACROSS THE BRICK, SANDWICHING HER HEAD BETWEEN THEM, and the bricks shatter in the process!!

BG: Taking that club to the top rope now--and a version of the Arabian Facebuster connects on Eighteen, right across the chest!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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...KICKOUT!?

Paul: OOOOOOH...but Eighteen only prolonging the inevitable...Nova picking her up--wait?! Kicking Nova in the midsection...sends him into the ropes--and a JUMPING DDT catches him! Nova trying to get up...grabbing that club--NAILS HIM DIRECTLY IN THE FACE WITH IT!!

BG: Dragging him by his ankles now, and DRIVES the knees into the steel chair...now pulling it out from under him...and unfolding the chair, setting it up...now grabbing Nova by the legs...tucking her head between them...and holding Nova on her shoulders!!

Paul: ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP face first onto the steel chair!! Cover made by Eighteen!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!!

BG: Eighteen looking on in shock...but Nova nearly wiped out with that move...picking him up now...going for a suplex...but her strength seems to be somewhat drained--NOVA with a snap suplex!

Paul: But just lying there...flat on his back..and both Eighteen and Nova trying to get up...slugging it out with right hands--kick by Nova--grabbed by Eighteen--spins him around--waistlock--German Supl--NOVA LANDS BEHIND!! Hooks the arms--NO--reversed--EIGHTEEN GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT--and the TOTAL SYSTEM SHUTDOWN!! AAAAAAAAUGH!!

BG: Drapes the arm over Nova...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT?!

Paul: *whew* Yes!! YES!! He's still in it! Even after Eighteen gave him all she had!!

BG: Eighteen eyeing that ringside table, and she could be looking to try to finish off Nova with it...dragging Nova by the ropes...front facelock--pick up, and FRONT SUPLEX across the top rope!! Eighteen sliding between the ropes--pushing Nova's throat down across the top rope!! Setting up a suplex now--

Paul: Nova catching his leg in the ropes to stop it...

BG: It blocks the second attempt--Nova with a HARD elbow shot!!

Paul: Nova decking the weakened Eighteen...hoisting her up over his shoulder..HERE IT IS!! HERE IT IS!! KRYPTONITE KRUNCH THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE!!....if you'll excuse my language and the nostalgia...HOLY SHIT!!!

BG: Eighteen and Nova out here in a huge pile of glass and blood...Nova unable to make a pin here, because it IS outside of the ring...slowly getting up..and trying to pick up Eighteen...but she looks to be dead weight.

BG: Or dead PERIOD...or whatever you'd call it for an android.

BG: Nova with great difficulty rolling Eighteen into the ring...and sliding in himself--flops on top of her for the...

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ONE!

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TWO!!!!

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THR--KICKOUT?!?!

Paul: ...DAMNITWHATKINDOFACOUNTWASTHAT!! SLOW COUNT!! SLOW COUNT!!

BG: It looks pretty consistent to me, Paul...and even after that...Eighteen still managed to kick out! Eighteen...TRYING to get up, and Nova in not much better shape...

Paul: Eighteen first up to her feet...from behind Nova now--LOW BLOW...and SHOVING HIS FACE into the exposed turnbuckle picking him up now...and...uh-oh...

BG: Uh oh is right...Nova set up on the top turnbuckle...waistlock now...and...GERMAN SUPERPLEX BY EIGHTEEN!!

Paul: Nova rocking back, and attempting to escape and catch her with a backslide--

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THREE!!

Paul: NOVA WINS!!

BG: No, EIGHTEEN still had him with the suplex...

Paul: Huh?!

BG: Wait...it seems the referee is a little confused, too...

Paul: And...RAISING BOTH THEIR HANDS?! WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THIS?!

BG: I think...BOTH of them had the pin...

Capetta: Ladies and gentlemen...the referee of this match has ruled that BOTH Eighteen AND Nova had either other pinned at the exact same time and NEITHER escaped...the official result is a DOUBLE PINFALL...and we have a TIE!!

Paul: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

BG: Crysta climbing in to check on them...and now talking with Capetta...

"Well...I think we should get both of them medical attention immediately...but--I guess this means--I'll be managing...BOTH of them!" Crysta announces...looking to have mixed feelings about this result.

BG: Well, I'll be damned...

Paul: DAMNIT! Does this mean Eighteen is staying?!

BG: I'm pretty sure it does, Paul.

Paul: *sigh* This just isn't my day...

BG: Well, commercial break time, fans...as we have quite the mess to clean up here...stay with us after these words from our sponsors...

**Commercial Break**

"One Step Closer" by Linkin Park cues up as we come back from break...

BG: And we're back! And up next we'll be seeing yet another interpromotional match, with a team from EAW and a team from WWE's Smackdown going at it.

Paul: And take a GOOD LOOK at Hogan in this match...snap a few pictures, maybe. Because he will NOT be the same once THE NEXT BIG THING takes care of him next week on Smackdown!

Bret Hart and Randy Savage come out, playing up to the crowd, with Bret Hart slapping some fans' hands.

Cappetta: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 465 pounds..."MACHO MAN" Randy SAAAAAAVAGE, and BRET..."The HIIIIIIIITMAAAAAAAN"...HART!!

BG: So, any favorites in this match, Paul?

Paul: You know, it really doesn't matter ONE BIT to me, Bea. Nope nope..not one bit. However, Brock could take ALL FOUR of the men in this match, just so you know.

BG: Uh-huh..

As Bret and Randy get in the ring, "Voodoo Child" begins to play, and Hulk Hogan, feathered boas and all, comes out , with Edge following closely behind, as Hogan flexes, and Edge cups his ear.

Cappetta: And their opponents...from WWE's Smackdown...at a combined weight of 515 pounds...the team of EDGE and HOLLYWOOD HULK HOGAN!

Paul: Blah blah blah...lets just see the Savage Harts tear apart the EdgeHogs, so we can go home and await Hogan's public execution at the hands of the NEXT BIG THING...

BG: Well, you may not seem to care, but a great deal of the fans do...Hogan wasn't too well favored by EAW fans until his brief ownership period...however, right now it seems that they're quite happy to support him.

Paul: *shakes head* Idiots...

BG: There go the boa...and looks like Bret and Edge to start this off...

*ding, ding*

BG: Tie up here by the veteran Hart on Edge...go behind, and a hammerlock takedown...Edge fighting back up--SNAPMARES Bret over! Bret back up--DROPKICK by Edge, and pulled back up--Hart sent into the ropes--ducked under by Edge--off the the ropes--MONKEY FLIP by Edge! Hart up--catches and POWERSLAMS Edge! Edge rolling towards the ropes, but Bret pulling him away by the ankles--stomps him in the midsection, set up now, and HEADBUTT into the abdominals! Pulls him up and goes into a--CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING!! The hold made famous by Bob Backlund!! Edge barely able to reach for the ropes for the break! Hart keeping it on a FEW more seconds, before letting it go. Pulls up Edge, and sets him up now...for--BACKBREAKER nicely done, and hoisting him up and setting up the Double Underhook suplex--blocked by Edge...picks him up--SIDEWALK SLAM on the Hitman! Edge setting up Hart now...SNAP SUPLEX...holding on still...ANOTHER SNAP SUPLEX...and now--DROPPED FACE FIRST into a reverse suplex by Edge! Cover now!

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ONE!

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Tw--no!

Paul: Edge showing youthful exuberance and intellence, he possesses great, awe-inspiring and unique offense. That begs the question--what the hell does he give a damn about Hogan for?

BG: Hogan was Edge's favorite wrestler when he was younger, that's all...and Edge now looking to capitalize, another suplex set up--NO, Bret Hart from behind--headlock--and a BULLDOG by Hart! The Hitman up, and tags in Savage...double team now, and Hart now sending him into the ropes...caught, and DOUBLE DDT from Macho and Hitman. A pair of elbowdrops now, and Hart back to the outside...cover by Savage...

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ONE!

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Tw--Kickout!

Paul: Edge kicking out, and the fresh Savage pulling him up now--SHOULDER LOCK ARMBREAKER...Savage now with a series of chops to the chest...into the ropes INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!! Savage with another cover...

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ONE!

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TWO!

...SHOULDER up by Edge!

BG: Savage pulling up Edge, scoops him up--NO--Small Package by Edge!

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ONE!

KICKOUT! Still extremely fresh.

Paul: Even if he doesn't look like it...Savage is a very frightening looking man...

BG: And I'll be sure to point that out to him on the tape when this match is over.

Paul: Err....DAMNIT!

BG: Edge to the ropes as Savage gets up--SPINNING HEEL KICK by Edge!! Hogan reaching out---and TAG MADE to HOGAN!!

Paul: Oh, terrific...

BG: Savage up, and the FORMER MEGAPOWERS COLLIDE! Right hands by Hogan...pick up, and a BODY SLAM on Savage! Savage fighting his way up...Hogan picks him up, and holds him in the air, suspending in the suplex....DROPS him center of the ring! Cover by Hogan...

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ONE!

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Tw--Kickout!

Paul: But not quite...Savage getting up now...Hogan sends him to the ropes--ducked under the big boot--hits the ropes--CLOTHESLINE on Hogan!

BG: Hogan back up--CLOTHESLINE again by Savage...up again...Savage with with rights...taunting now, and a HAYMAKER swing puts Hogan to the mat...and tag made to the Hitman!

Paul: One of the few people in this business who hate Vince McMahon as much as me...and Hogan restrained by Hart...Savage going to the top...AXE HANDLE SMASH from the top rope!

BG: Hart wrenching the knee now...flipping Hogan over and pulling the knee back as he pushes his own into Hogan's back...Hart putting Hogan into the Bow And Arrow Stretch!!

Paul: HAHAHAH! Seeing Hogan in pain gives me a feeling of...euphoria.

BG: ...creepy...and Hart rolling forward again--JUMPING KNEE DROP into the back of Hogan as he releases the Bow and Arrow! Edge reaching out for the tag, but Hart pulling him away...picks him up, and sends him into the corner now...1...2...3...4...5 shots to Hogan...climbing up...and...Hogan trying to fight it off--SUPERPLEX by the Hitman!! Hogan in trouble here...and Hitman going to the top rope--second drop elbow coming--HOGAN ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! Hart misses the driving elbow!! Crawling over for the tag--and EDGE tagged in!

Paul: NOW things outta get interesting...Hart getting up, and Edge with elbows to the Hitman...blocked, and Hart with a quick vertical suplex...up again..SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SW--Blocked! Edge grabbing him from behind--the EDGE-O-MATIC on the Hitman!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

Paul: And Edge with one his various unique moves taking down Hart...Edge now--WHIPPING HART INTO THE CORNER...Edge now...SPEARS BRET IN THE CORNER!! Hart in trouble here, and set up on the top rope...and looks like he's transitioning it into the Electric Chair Drop--HITMAN WITH THE VICTORY ROLL!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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--NO! And Hitman now stomps on the chest of Edge...picking him up, and an ATOMIC DROP stunning Edge...waistlock by Hart...and INTO A BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

Paul: Hart now...going for--and tagging in Savage! Edge getting up...and Savage with a SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE...a bearhug on Edge now...and Hart upstairs--HART ATTACK ON EDGE, and cover made by Savage...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THR--HUH?! Kickout?!

BG: Just barely in time, and Hogan stomping his feet on the apron..he wants the tag, he wants some more of Savage...Edge on all fours--SAVAGE slugging him up on the back...choking him on the ropes, and good guy or not, Savage ALWAYS aggressive!

Paul: I wanna see him unload some more on Hogan...COME ON!! YEAH!

BG: Headbutts by Savage--but a knee into the midsection by Edge...and--BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX by Edge!! Savage getting up, and to the ropes--SWINGING NECKBREAKER on Edge!! Edge stopped from making the tag...pulled away by the ankle--but an ENZUI GIRI by Edge! Savage literally on the ropes...set up, and a DOWNWARD SPIRAL by Edge...into a cover...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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....NO!

Paul: Hogan looking like he's ready to explode...yeesh...someone needs to monitor that old timer's sugar intake...

BG: Edge crawling to his corner and...TAG MADE TO HOGAN!!

Paul: Hogan coming in now to RUIN what was turning out to be a great match...CLOTHESLINE puts the recovering Savage down, and picks him up now...ruuuuuunning POWERSLAM by Hogan!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

BG: Savage getting up, and favoring his back--HOGAN RAKES THE BACK!

BG: Hogan from behind--NO, standing switch...Savage with a shoulder claw...Hogan weakened, and Savage setting him up now...JUMPING PILEDRIVER on Hogan!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Paul: Hogan kicking out...and...not this...NOT THIS!!

BG: Hogan with that look in his eye...Savage with direct shots to the head...Hogan not staying down...Hogan up and...HULKING UP!!

Paul: AAAAAAUGH!!

BG: Hogan up and battling back...Savage sent to the ropes...BIG BOOT!!...Hogan now...wait...picking up Savage!? Set up...set up...and POWERBOMB from Hogan!!

Paul: Going for the cover and--oh...well...wait do you know...hehehe...

BG: But BROCK LESNAR interfering?! Breaking up the cover and pounding on the back of Hogan!

*ding, ding*

Paul: YES!! Brock now attacking that washed up loudmouth Hogan...set up...and F5 coming up!

BG: NO!! Savage making the save for his on-again off-again friend Hogan...Savage and Brock having it out...Edge and Hart now with steel chairs--Savage ducks--CON-CHAIR-TO to Brock! Brock dazed...ANOTH--blocked by Brock--kicks it into the face of Edge--CLOTHESLINES Hart over the top rope...Hogan coming up from behind--HOGAN DUKING IT OUT WITH LESNAR!! Sends him into the ropes--Edge up--and DOUBLE BIG BOOT puts Lesnar down!

Paul: Uh oh...excuse me a moment...

BG: DOUBLE LEG DROP on Brock Lesnar!! And Paul Heyman helping pull Lesnar out of the ring...and the two of them hightailing it to the back...

Scene switch to the locker room... the Rock is there and that prompts an immediate pop from the fans as the Great One straps on the boots, then stands up to do some stretching.

"Hello, Dwayne..."

The Rock pauses, then turns to see Michael Connelly. He smiles as he greets Michael with a handshake. "Hey, Michael! Glad to finally meet you face to face. Heard a lot of good things about you."

Michael, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, with the EAW World Title over his shoulder, nods, "Yeah...we're quite familiar with you as well. And singling out David Flair is a good way to make a first impression around here."

"Yeah, y'know... what he did back at your pay-per-view... totally uncool and all... so, I thought I'd dish out some retribution and all..."

Michael nods, "Odd to see you speak like this, I'd expect you to be more...impudent, loud-mouthed, arrogant, defiant..."

"Oh, that's just the gimmick talking, that's the Rock! When I'm myself I'm much more reserved and all that. Still, I'm gonna go all out once the music hits. After all..." he smiles, then gets into character. "The Rock, is going to smack up! Smack down! Smack sideways, diagonal, and at a 45 degree angle! David Flair's candy ass ALL OVER the EAW Arena!!!" He stops, then smiles. "Like that, see?"

"No no no no no--it's not just that, Rock. Okay, you standing there...me standing here. I can tell, thankfully, that you consider me a peer, an equal--even if YOUR title belt shamelessly has the McMahon family crest emblazoned on it. However...you're two-faced, Rock. I mock my opponents from time to time, but whenever you do it, you rarely seem to take a match or an opponent seriously. It takes a Hogan or a Fl--Ric Flair for you to have the common decency to respect them as they deserve. So, glad to see I'm in that elite club. But an Eddy Guerrero? No respect...and a backstage announcer--heh...they WISH they got showed even that much respect," Michael says, quite critical.

"Whoa, wait a sec, Michael..." the Rock says. "... That's a character right there. Like I said, a gimmick! The Rock is Dwayne Johnson and Dwayne Johnson the Rock! Just because I don't show people respect on camera don't mean I do the same off."

"True..but...in the perceptions of the fans--that hurts them a great deal. If you can't take them seriously, how can many of the fans? And the debts you go to get a few cheap laughs...yeesh...thats two Raws in a row that you mention beastility. Show some class, Dwayne," Michael shakes his head, sighing.

"Hey, Michael... lighten up, okay?" the Rock says with a smile. "What I do, I do for the fans, for the People. They want a good time, they want some fun and some action, I give it to them. We all give it to them. Besides, it's mentioning bestiality, shoving things up candy-asses, and everything else like that that makes the Rock so much popular. Hey... would you rather I go back to being 'The Blue Chipper?'"

"No no no...I don't want you going back to being the Blue Chipper. I don't want you to have to come to the ring with a bad gericurl done up to make your head resemble a pineapple. Or wear ugly blue and white ring attire. Or smile CONSTANTLY! Or borrow Papa Shango's finisher. Or hear JR yell the BLUE CHIPPER! THE BLUE CHIPPER! Just...a little more respect for the opponents, instead of BURYING them and hardly letting them get in a rebuttal. That's ONE thing the Blue Chipper did right. However...I will take you seriously, Dwayne. And appealing to the lowest common denominator for a few cheap laughs, as if this is a popularity contest, will do you no good, since all I want, all our bosses want, and what you should want--is a clean, hard fought, and DAMN good match between you and I--the respective champions of our companies promotions," Michael says, in an extremely determined voice.

"Well, that's exactly what I want..." the Rock says. "Because I DO respect you, Michael. In fact, I respect you so much, I'm willing to not be the cool-talking asshole that the Rock is when it comes to you and simply put... just bring it."

"Simply making a few constructive criticisms Rock...as for David? Feel free to go all out. Like how his daddy handed him his first title, or how his wife--unfortunately, my cousin--is a dirty, filthy, disgusting, gold digging..." Michael smirks, letting "Dwayne" finish.

"... bottom-feeding two-cent trashbag ho!" The Rock smirks. "Well, it's more Jericho's gig but I think he won't mind me stealing it once or twice."

"Naw...you give 'im hell out there, Rock," Michael says, shaking hands one more time.

The Rock nods, shaking his hand, and patting his back. "The Rock intends to, Michael! The Rock intends to."

**************

COMMERCIALS

After a bit, "Nobodies" starts playing up over the speaker system, and to a pretty good reaction, comes the challenger for the Triple Crown Championship.

Capetta: The following contest, scheduled is for the Triple Crown Championship! Introducing first, from Roswell, New Mexico…standing 5'8" tall and weighing in at 136 pounds…one half of the Girls of Goth…SIN!

Heyman: Yeah…like THIS girl is an appropriate representative as the Triple Crown Champion.

BG: Well, Sin has a rather unique look in wrestling, as does her sister Shade. Sin going into this match to try to show that she's not just someone to be put aside in the background.

Heyman: Her match with Nova showed she's a contender, but I have a hunch she is NOT ready to be a champion yet!

BG: Well, this match will test that theory of yours Paul…

"Points Of Authority" cues up next, and the crowd starts to cheer as Buzzsaw comes out with a certain green haired girl.

Capetta: Aaaand her opponent, being accompanied to the ring by the PWF Intergender Champion Arianna, from Venice Beach, California, standing 6'3" tall and weighing in at 229 pounds…he is the EAW Triple-Crown Champion…Buzzsaw!

BG: And the champion with her championship lover making their way to the ring now, the challenger staring on waiting.

Heyman: You know…I don't really have anyone that I care about in this match. I hope that BOTH of them destroy each other in this bout.

BG: Well there is a great respect from both Sin and Buzzsaw to each other…and the champion sliding into the ring…and we're being joined by Ari!

Heyman: Saaay…things are starting to look up now.

BG: Ari, welcome to the booth now.

Arianna: Hiya all! I'm here to support Buzzsaw as he once again defends the Triple Crown Title!

BG: Just curious though, what's with the new do?

Ari: I…just felt a change was in order, that's all!

Heyman: And let me be the first to say, it looks VERY good on you!

BG:…suck up. The bell has now rung, and this match is now underway!

Arianna: Come on Buzzsaw! Let's get this started!

BG: Sin and Buzzsaw with a handshake…Buzz trying to pull away…but Sin holding on…and into a modified Arm drag!

Heyman: Woah…Sin with a smart move there…did NOT expect that from her. And is now wrenching the arm in a modified armbar!

Ari: Buzz is fighting back though…come on Buzzsaw, fight out of that!

BG: Buzzsaw up to his feet now, and punching away at Sin's gut now…Sin letting go of the armbar now…but with a quick dropkick to the knees of Buzzsaw.

Ari: GAH! Careful there Buzz…don't let her out-manuever you!

Heyman: Sin grabbing the legs of Buzzsaw now, and starting to wrench away at them hard! Well, it has been said that Women Weaken Knees…

BG: No quoting Rocky during this type of match. Sin setting Buzz in a wishbone position…

Ari: EEP! Only *I* am allowed in that area from now on, Sin!

BG: Sin staying on for the cover…

One

.

.

TWO…kickout.

Heyman: One second away, ONE second away from capturing the EAW Triple Crown Championship for her first singles title.

Ari: No way that my Buzzy is gonna be beaten that easily.

BG: Sin going off the ropes now…cartwheel…splash attempt blocked with Buzzsaw's knees, and Sin is holding her gut in pain.

Ari: YEAH! That's the way Buzz! Don't let her beat you!

Heyman: Buzzsaw now climbing up to his feet, and blasts Sin HARD with a clothesline!

BG: Sin was almost taken out of her boots with that move right there, and Buzzsaw now in FIRM control of this match!

Heyman: BG…you're stealing Ari's ideas about him.

Ari: (slaps Heyman)Be good…

BG: Thank you Ari. Buzzsaw now grabbing Sin from off the mat, and picking her up with a hard knee to the shoulders of Sin.

Heyman: Buzzsaw with a very interesting focus for his attack during this match, and we have to see where this will actually lead.

Ari: It will lead to a victory, that's where it will lead!

BG: Buzzsaw holding onto Sin now, setting her up, and a nice float-over suplex! Into the cover…

One

.

.

TWO

.

.

THREE…no, a kickout by Sin.

Ari: Damn…so close! Buzzsaw's getting so close to a successful title defense!

Heyman: But he has a DAMN long way to go, apparently, as Sin is still fighting back.

BG: Buzzsaw picking up Sin off of the match, and a hard slam onto the mat…right in the corner…this could be something big here.

Ari: I think he's going for the Slasher here! Buzz is signaling for it…and goes for it…NO!

Heyman: Sin moved out of the way of the Slasher, and Buzzsaw lands right on his ass…quick roll-up by Sin!

One

.

.

TWO…quick kickout.

Ari: WHEW! That was WAY too close right there!

BG: Sin and Buzzsaw both fighting up to their feet again, and a slugfest by the two superstars has begun now. Interesting turn that this match has taken…but Buzzsaw has the height and weight advantage, and Sin is leaning on the ropes now.

Heyman: Buzzsaw flying off the ropes…and diving lariat taking both superstars to the outside of the ring!

Ari: Yeah! That's the way! Take her down and out Buzzy!

BG: Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't Sin and Buzzsaw friends.

Ari:…oh yeah. Sorry…the heat of competition getting to me.

Heyman: Quit worrying about that and just call the match, BG.

BG: Right…Sin is down on the floor now, and Buzzsaw looking determined to take it to her as much as possible. Picking up Sin now…Gutwrench powerbomb right onto the floor!

Ari: …ow…OK, even *I* think my Buzzy is going a bit too far in this match now.

Heyman: And besides that, this isn't an Extreme Rules match. Buzzsaw can NOT pin Sin on the floor like that! He's realizing this late, and rolling Sin into the ring, giving her a chance to recover.

BG: Sin using the ropes now to pull herself onto her feet as she sees Buzzsaw getting into the ring…but too late to do anything, as Buzzsaw blasts her with a knee to the gut.

Ari: And look at Sin hold on to the ropes desperate attempt to just stay on her feet. Falling into the corner…ooh, look at Buzz…

Heyman: Rushing into the corner…GORE! GORE! GOOO…

BG, Ari: IT'S A SPEAR, NOT A GORE!

Heyman: Spoilsports. Anyway, Sin falling out of the corner hard onto her face…surprise she didn't bounce a lot from that.

BG: She's not THAT big there Paul. Buzzsaw seems to be getting overly confident now…and he's signaling for his finisher.

Ari: BUZZKILL TIME! Finish her off now Buzz and we can go home and celebrate!

Heyman: Buzzsaw leaping over the downed Sin…WHO WAS PLAYING POSSUM! She dropkicks the champion into the corner…and he falls to a sitting position.

BG: Sin has a look in her eye…oh no, she wouldn't.

Heyman: WHOO! THE PANTS ARE DOWN, AND LOOK AT THAT THONG!

Ari: BUZZY! WAKE UP BUZZY!

BG: Ari pulling up her thong a bit…and steals a page from Rikishi's book! Stink-face right into Buzzsaw!

Heyman: And judging from previous experience, I think he may have enjoyed that!

Ari: Not this time, look at him shove Sin right off of him!

BG: And right into the referee, who lands like he was hit with a ton of bricks, and Sin landing right on top of him.

Heyman: Oooh…now THIS is where this contest is gonna get REALLY interesting!

Ari: Um…I'm gonna go check on Buzzy.

BG: Ari leaving our booth, and going up to the ring now..

Heyman: Oh…if only SHE was wearing a thong too.

BG: Paul…behave yourself. She's going in…helping her boyfriend up onto his feet. Kinda touching, I …THE HELL?

Heyman: ARI WITH A FACEBUSTER ON BUZZSAW! ARIANNA GIBSON HAS BETRAYED HER OWN BOYFRIEND!

BG: Sin is still down and out right now…and I don't think that she's aware of what happened! Ari reviving her and sliding outside of the ring now…

Heyman: This could be one of the biggest upsets ever in wrestling!

BG: Sin picking Buzz up onto his feet…off the ropes…and hits the Sin-Sation!

Heyman: BG, I think we're about to be shocked! Hold on…

BG: Sin going for a cover now…

One

.

.

TWO

.

.

THREE!

Capetta: Here is your winner, and the NEW EAW Triple Crown Champion…SIN!

Heyman: UPSET CITY, BABY!

BG: Woah…I don't know if even Sin can believe that she won this match right now!

Heyman: Believe it baby, you're the new champion, and Ari going into the ring to celebrate with her!

BG: But Sin not even acknowledging her, as she takes the title and goes to the back, still in dis-belief.

Heyman: Bleh…not even thanking Ari for supporting her during the match.

BG: Like Sin knows that. Peeps…stay tuned! Up next, our main event!

****ADVERTISEMENTS!****

***

"Superstar" by Saliva is already playing over the PA as David Flair and Kelly are in the ring.

BG: David Flair's already in the ring as we return from out last commercial break! He's very ready and chomping at the bit to face the man who's about to make his EAW debut!!

Heyman: The man who will fall like everyone else to the Next Big Thing on Summerslam! The soon-to-be EX-WWE Undisputed Champion--

IF YOU SMEEEELLLLL!!!
WHAT THE ROCK!!
IS COOKIN'!

BG: WHOA!!! AND WILL YOU HEAR THAT POP!!! THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION! THE WWE CHAMPION IS HEADING TO THE RING WITH A PURPOSE!!!

Heyman: But David Flair's ready! He rushes the Rock--!!

BG: DAVE HEBNER CALLS FOR THE BELL--

BG: ROCK INTERCEPTS! SCOOP SLAM!!! David Flair up! DUCKS A PUNCH! DAVID FLAIR-- SHIN BREAKER!!! Rock still visibly hurt from his last match at Smackdown!, Paul!

Heyman: I was there, BG! David Flair picking apart the People's Champion!!! I love it!!

BG: David Flair now... going for a suplex-- NO! THE ROCK COUNTERS! AND-- SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP BY THE ROCK!! Rock goes to pick David up-- NO! Flair kicks the Rock back! Moves in for the kill-- KNEE SMASH!!! Rock staggers back! David now-- DDT!!! David's looking pretty cocky right now! David picks Rock up-- AND THE ROCK WITH A DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP!! Flair back up, looking enraged! He charges in-- BUT THE ROCK FIGHTS BACK WITH A SAMOAN DROP! And-- oh no--!!

Heyman: HA HA HA! Oh, yes! Look who just showed up at the stage, BG! None other than the Next Big Thing himself! The monster! Brock Lesnar!!!

BG: Rock's just spotted him too! The Rock just stares at Brock and-- ha ha ha! Just Bring It!!

Heyman: Oh, he'll bring it all right, Rock! He'll bring it!!

BG: David Flair gets up... Rock's got his back turned towards him-- But the Rock catches him! Kick to the gut and-- SNAP SUPLEX!! Rock grabs Flair-- ROCK BOTTOM!! NO! FLAIR ELBOW THE ROCK AWAY! GRABS HIM BY THE ARM! WHIPS HIM TO THE CORNER! CHARGES IN AND DELIVERS AN AWESOME KNEE TO HIS FACE! ROCK NOW DOWN IN THE CORNER! AND FLAIR WITH THE FOOT CHOKE! DAVE HEBNER ADMINISTERING THE FOUR COUNT! FLAIR BREAKS THE HOLD! Flair picks up Rock-- WHOA! THE ROCK KICKS HIM IN THE GUT! DDT!!!! COVER!! ONE! TWO! NO! FLAIR KICKS OUT! Rock measures up Flair... Rock Bottom coming up?! NO! CLOTHESLINE!!!! Rock grabs Flair back up, whips him to the whips! SPINEBUSTER!!! SPINEBUSTER BY THE ROCK!!! Rock now... grabs his legs! SHARPSHOOTER!!! THE SHARPSHOOTER APPLIED BY THE ROCK!!! AND-- WAIT A MINUTE!!!! BROCK LESNAR JUST CHARGED IN AND-- DAMMNIT!!!!

Heyman: HAHAHHAHAHAA!!!! A GLIMPSE INTO THE ROCK'S FUTURE, BG!!

BG: DAVE HEBNER CALLS FOR THE BELL!!!

Winner by DQ: The Rock

BG: THE ROCK WINS BY DQ, BUT BROCK DOESN'T CARE! DAVID'S UP NOW! BOTH ATTACKING THE ROCK AND-- HERE COMES OSEIKO!!!!!

Heyman: WHAT?! SHE'S GOT NO BUSINESS BEING IN THE RING!!!

BG: SHE'S HELPING THE ROCK! KUMO NO SASU ON FLAIR!!! DAVID'S OUT COLD!! AND-- ah, crap!

Heyman: HA! THIS WILL TEACH OSEIKO A LESSON!!! BROCK HAS HER NOW!!!

BG: F5 coming up!!!! OSEIKO-- ... O_O!!!! OMIGOD!!!!

Heyman: WHAT THE--?! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!

BG: OSEIKO JUST... SHE JUST COUNTERED THE F5!!!!! RIGHT OUT OF NOWHERE!!! AND BROCK'S DAZED!!! WE NEED TO SEE A REPLAY! QUICKLY!!!!

The replay is shown... Brock has Oseiko in the samoan drop position and lifts her off his shoulders to move her into the DDT position, but Oseiko hooks his arm! She flips behind him, whipping forward between his legs, swiftly flipping over his head and delivering a reverse mat slam!!!!

BG: UNBELIVABLE!!!! OSEIKO'S NINJITSU SKILLS HAVE PAID OFF ONCE AGAIN!! AND THE ROCK-- ohhh... the Rock sees David Flair prone on the mat! Sets him up!!

Heyman: Oh, no! Not this!!!

BG: HERE IT COMES! THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE!!! FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY CALLED ARIEL'S ELBOW!!! AND--

BG: DOWN INTO DAVID FLAIR'S HEART!!!! THE ROCK WINS VIA DQ, BUT HE'S AVENGED ARIEL'S MEMORY!!! THE ROCK WINS THE MATCH FOR THE PEOPLE AND FOR ARIEL!!! AND I CAN'T BE ANY HAPPIER!!!

Heyman: Hah... we'll see! The Rock won't be able to do that to Brock come Summerslam, BG! Mark my words!

BG: We're out of time! For Paul Heyman, this is BG Hyde! See you next time!!