Live from the Molson Centre in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, it's Tuesday Night Mayhem!!

After the Mayhem intro, we fade in to the arena, where we have various signs in the crowd...

"Morty catches for the other team."

"In the year 1812..."

"HHH IZ A FAGITT!!"

"The BEST Tag Team--Baby's left breast and Baby's right breast."

"The EAW....sponsored by Murder King."

Huh?

"EAW...exploiting since 1999!!"

Hmmm...

"Equal treatment NOW!"

WTF?!

The commentators for this evening are Jim Ross and Lilith Aensland...the Fink is in the ring about to do the ring announcing...when the guardrail's jumped!!! Some little punk is getting in the ring..

"Tonight first match--hey...what the hell? Get out of here!! SECURITY!!"

The man shakes his head, grabbing the mic, "Whoa, whoa, whoa...let me speak here...I'm an honored guest...I'm SUPPOSED to be here."

"WHAT?!"

"Let me introduce myself...to you...the fans of the EAW. You see...my name is Alan Fletcher. I run FETA--the Foundation for Equal Treatment of Animals. And I'm here to speak out against the practices of the EAW. No, I don't just mean how one of their sponsors is Murder King...but also how they've been treating a certain group of their employees...

The crowd looks rather disgusted...getting who he's hinting at...

"You see...it's no secret that this place is one of the few companies that will employ the anthromorphs in any sort of fashion. And while it's true that they give them equal career opportunities...they work for significantly less than the human superstars do. They deal with sub-standard room and board. Often booked unfairly...overworked as well as being underpaid. Get put in the most brutal of matches, and when the slightest hint of trouble arises, are appointed as vigilantes to deal with it. In their interests...and in the interests of all the employers that discriminate against them, I...as given permission by a member of the board, will use the EAW as a base of operations to get my message out...and see to it that these injustices and any future ones....will be stopped. Thank you sir for your time...and I'll return to my seat..."

Lilith: FETA?!

JR: FETA...that's what he said.

Lilith: Isn't that...like...a type of cheese or something?

JR: I-I don't know.

Lilith: Well, as long as it means we won't be seeing less fur around...power to him!

The various sounds of cars honking, trashcans rattling, etc. as the familiar RTC Theme cues up, as the solo woman of RTC, Ivory makes her way down to the ring.

JR: As the Lilith Crain look-a-like, Ivory, comes down to the ring to wrestle her match with Colley-chan.. in their match it has been some changes. Now, it's a No Holds Barred match.

Lilith: Lilith Crain gives Lilith's a bad name! -_-

JR: Yes, at any rate...

"HT" hits signaling the arrival of Colley-chan. Colley-chan waits no time, as she rushes to the ring, and gets the match underway.

*ding, ding, ding*

JR: Colley-chan is pumped, and a hair takedown on Ivory! Ivory up, and... quick snap suplex! Colley-chan whips Ivory to the ropes, but Ivory... EXPLODES WITH A SPEAR!! Pin! . . . . One! . . . . Kickout! Colley-chan is quickly up, and a snapmare by Ivory, and she follows up with another one! Ivory goes for a flipping dropkick, but Colley-chan catches her by one leg... ONE LEGGED SIDEWALK SLAM!

Lilith: I seriously think all Ivory needs is a big dick in her ass! Where is Hunter when you need him?!

JR: ... Colley-chan whips Ivory to the corner, and she comes stumbling out.. kick to gut, EVENFLOW DDT!! Page out of Colley's book!

Lilith: Well, in a way they're the same person, JR.

JR: Colley with an Irish Whip to the near ropes, and a clothesline follow up! Ivory goes thumbling over near our broadcast table! Colley-chan is right behind Ivory.. and is ramming her head into the announce table! Colley-chan now has Ivory in a Reverse DDT position.. going for a Reverse Suplex.. IVORY COUNTERS IT!! REVERSE SUPLEX BY IVORY!! And, now... she's applying an ARMBAR on Colley-chan? Huh? She hit a big defensive move like that one, and she does an armbar?

Lilith: S! he's a weird one, JR.. she's a weird one.

JR: Ivory nows breaks the armbar, and sets up a chair next to the side of our table.. and she gets on the chair. Oh no... she has Colley-chan between her legs... POWERBOMB THROUGH THE BROADCAST TABLE!! OH GAWD!!

Lilith: She used that chair to help her get Colley-chan up, too!

JR: She now rolls Colley-chan into the ring, and goes for another spear.. COLLEY-CHAN SIDESTEPS!

Lilith: Ivory's shoulder hit smack into that ringpost, and she turns around...

JR: To meet a single-arm DDT by Colley-chan!! The pin! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . Thr--Kickout by Ivory!

Lilith: But, now Colley-chan has set-up Ivory in the corner.. and a SKUNKFACE!! SKUNKFACE!!

JR: But, Ivory grabs Colley-chan's tail... CHEAPSHOT!! Ivory just kicked Colley-chan in the croutch area while she held the tail up from behind! And, now... she's spinning her by her tail!! And, a clothesline Colley-chan!

Lilith: Now, JR she runs outside to get a steel chair.. what does this virgin have in mind?

JR: Whatever it is it doesn't look too good for Colley-chan.

JR: No way.. Ivory is tying Colley-chan's tail around the first ring rope! Ivory has that steel chair... WHAM!! WHAM!! SHE'S BEATING COLLEY-CHAN'S SKULL IN!!

Lilith: Sorta like what Rock did to Mick Foley!

JR: Thank God, Ivory has let Colley-chan loose. And, now Ivory is climbing the top rope while Colley-chan is down... Colley-chan up to her feet.. FLYING DDT FROM IVORY! A cover! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . Three!! NO-NO!! Colley-chan gets a shoulder up!

JR: Oh wait.. Ivory takes that water gun out.. and Colley-chan is up... IVORY SHOOTS!! COLLEY-CHAN DUCKS!! KICK TO THE GUT-- . . . . FIRST IMPACT!! . . . . SECOND IMPACT!! . . . . THIRD IMPACT!!

Lilith: One! Two! THREE!! NOOOOOOO!!! SOMEHOW IVORY KICKED OUT!!

JR: Colley-chan goes to pick up Ivory.. but, Ivory grabs the water gun... AHH!! Ivory shot Colley-chan in the eye, and now a shot to the temple with the hot water!! Colley-chan is blinded, and is now turned into.. Colley Dogstar!!

Lilith: Someone needs to shoot Ivory in the eye, but it's not with water.

JR: Ivory gets up... MORTALITY CHECK TO A BLINDED COLLEY!! Colley is down.. and Ivory is beating Colley with that chair!

Lilith: The famous "Stone Cold I'm going to beat you until you die with a chair" manuver!! *shilling* STONE COLD!! STONE COLD!! I AM STONE COLD STEVEN AUSTIN!!

JR: Pin by Ivory on Colley!! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . THREE!! MY GOD.. Colley has just been beaten by Ivory!

Winner by pinfall (beats Colley Dogstar) >>> Ivory

JR: But, wait Ivory has another water gun and sprays Colley down with it... Colley now turns back into Colley-chan!! And, Ivory tells the ref to restart this match.. and it's off! I think Ivory is trying to prove that she can beat Colley-chan and Colley!

Lilith: I think you may be right.

JR: Wait.. Colley-chan snapkick.. FIRST IMPACT! SECOND IMPACT!! THIRD IMPACT!! PIN!! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . Three! Colley-chan beats Ivory!!

Lilith: HUH?! Ivory can beat Colley, but not Colley-chan?! That's insane. Not taking anything away from Colley-chan or anything.

JR: What a wild match this has been! Ivory has beaten Colley, and Colley-chan has beaten Ivory!

Winner by pinfall >>> Colley-chan Dogstar

JR: I think this little feud has just begun.

**Commercial Break** We cut away from the arena to the EAW-Tron, to a shot of a forested battlefield from a helicopter camera. Much of the area is roped off, with a warning posted "This Area The Site of An Extreme Attitude Wrestling AAA Rules Match. DANGER!! KEEP OUT!!"

It's the Canadian taiga, and save for some hardy deciduous trees in this immediate area, much of the surrounding area and the mountain face is covered by conifers. Rash and Alex Nagol stand roughly 50 yards away from each other, between them, a makeshift ring set up...one that will undoubtedly hold little of the contest.

A robotic referee enters the ring...Alex begins to walk towards it...before going into a full-on spring and arriving in less than a second. Rash leaps up, fires a web bolt to a nearby tree, and swings in.

"D-d-damn, Mike....it's c-cold out here..." Rash says to his host. "All the reason more we should end this quick," Mike says under his breath to the symbiote.

Alex seems to be hugging himself a bit, but trying not to shiver. The robotic ref rings the bell, and Alex draws his Shintai as Rash forms his right hand into a wicked looking blade as well....

Rash runs over Alex with a clothesline, nearly turning him into out. Alex gets up again and suffers the same fate twice. Rash goes for a third by Alex avoids, nailing a heel kick to the back of the head, then sending him into the ropes...Alex fires off them and nails a high speed headbutt to the stomach.

Alex goes to the top rope, and somersaults off--but Rash gets up quickly, catches him in mid air, and gorilla presses him out to the outside. Rash...defying his own stats...then hits the opposite ropes...then hits a no-hands flying bodypress to the outside on Alex!!

Rash picks up Alex, hoisting him over his shoulder and charging towards the ringpost--Alex slips free, dropkicking him in the back.

Alex moves in, but Rash gets up, throws the ring stairs at Alex!!

The top of the stairs nail him flush, but Rash goes for the bottom of the stairs--Alex slashes upward and cuts them neatly in half, before charging towards Rash--Rash monkey flips with with great agility, but Alex lands on two feet. He spins around and goes to slash Rash, but Rash deeply lacerates Alex's arm with a slice from his symbiote axe-hand!

Alex lets out a loud shriek, but keeps a hold of his Shintai. Rash plows into Alex with a shoulder charge that sends Alex flying...back first...and landing into and sticking to a maple tree quills-first. Seeing his chance, Rash fires a wad of webbing onto Alex and the tree...uproots it...and slams it down on the ground, then goes for the pin on Alex!!

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One!

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TWO!

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Rash rolls off of Alex, wincing, and the symbiote shifting positions and forms erratically...Alex slices away the webbing, pulling himself out of the tree...as he holds down a button on the end of his Shintai...a high-pitched buzzing can faintly be heard...

It appears Rash can hear it quite well, though.

Alex holds his arms as his healing factor takes effect....

Rash surprises him, springing up, and launching a high impact kick to Alex's chest as he backflips up, causing Alex to drop the Shintai. Turning towards the fallen tree trunk, the stretchable symbiote arms grab them, turning his arms into impromptu sharp hooks.

Rash rushes towards Alex, who is just getting up to his feet...Rash attempts to use Alex's own quills against him, and slashes him across the chest before Alex can roll to safety and back to his feet. Rash throws both quills, which Alex ducks, but hooks a thread of webbing to a tree branch above, swinging towards him and hitting him with a front dropkick to the chest.

Rash reels himself up to the branch, then morphs his hands into large pinchers. Alex makes a dash for his Shintai, but Rash springs down, clubbing him in the back of the head, and away from the Shintai.

Rash picks up the sword himself, thrusting it blade-down into the ground...it sinks into it easily. He attempts to snap it in half...but to no avail...Alex gets up to his feet, Rash clamps his left pincher around his waist...slamming him down into the ground.

The robo-ref goes to count the pinfall...

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One

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But Alex spins himself...now quite Sonnette Spin fast, but enough to keep his shoulders from being pinned and kick up dirt in Rash's eyes.

Alex grabs the Shintai..points it at Rash...and fires a midsided blast of red energy at Rash's midsection, then aides it by charging at Rash, hitting him with his own shoulder at an incredible rate of speed, and sending Rash flying backward, crashing through two trees.

Alex clutches the sword...taking a deep breath, as he begins to heal himself...but Rash charges out of the rubble, a tree trunk in hand, and before Alex can react--he clubs him with it from the side, sending him flying like a softball from a tee.....and landing in the ring!

Rash morphs the end of his arm to look like a baseball cap as he jogs towards the ring to follow up...then quickly gets in...kicks away Alex's Shintai...

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One

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TWO!

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Alex kicks out again!! Rash is frankly shocked, but doesn't waste any time pulling him back up...hoisting him high into the air...over his---PLUNGES HIM HEAD FIRST into the hole in the ring!!

But Alex bursts up behind Rash a few seconds later, grabbing the Shintai, and clubbing the handle of it across the head of Rash before he can react.

Alex then fires some low energy blasts from the tip at Rash, who back somersaults to avoid then, the charges into the forest...Alex...annoyed, follows after...leaving the ring and running past Rash easily with his superspeed....screeching to a halt just ahead of Rash, springing backward with his elbow--Rash barely avoids it by dropping down to the ground. However, this allows Alex to hit him with three small blasts, then he charging in and lays in superspeed punches at Rash, who does an admirable job of trying to keep close, but the speed begins to overwhelm him. Rash doubles over, inadvertantly ducking under a high kick from Alex, and he quickly headbutts Alex in the groin....grabs his legs, and goes to powerbomb Alex on a rock, but Alex deftly spins up and over, hooking his head, then DDTing him into it!!

Alex makes the cover...

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One!

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TWO!

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Kickout by Rash!!

Alex is somewhat in shock....but quickly shrugs it off...

Alex grabs one of the chucks of rock, and as Rash gets up, hurls it towards his head--Rash catches, it, crumbling it to dust!

Alex though, slices the shintai across Rash's midsection...not cutting too deep...but deep enough...then presses the button underneath the handle...cranking up the pain factor for Rash!! Then goes for another cover...

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One!

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TWO!

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Kickout!!

Alex gets up off Rash, but Rash grabs him by the throat, violently hoisting him up and slamming him down of the remnants of the boulder repeatedly, before launching him toward a tree. Alex spins while in the air to slice through the base of the tree, safely avoiding the impact, as the tree lands on Rash!!

Rash catches it, but his legs are slamming through the ground, sticking about a foot into them before he can regain his bearings. Alex points the Shintai....fires...

Blasts Rash in the chest!!

Rash grabs his bloody, sliced, and slightly charred chest and begins to beat a hasty exit as he tries to outrun the closely-following blasts, webswinging up to the threes...leaping branch to branch...then springing off...landing on the ground.

Alexs fires off a charged blast....Rash covers up...

Then stretches out what looks like another pincher...but it's rounded and smoother...like a half-pipe....the blast rounds the surface and comes back toward Alex, blasting him in the hand and knocking the Shintai free!!

Rash immediately pounces on Alex, beginning to put on the Final Bite...Alex....tries to beat him off with his hands....to no avail....but then runs toward a tree...slamming Rash back first into it and causing him to spit Alex out! Alex then rolls towards his sword, grabs it, and goes for a horizontal slice towards Rash...Rash jumps!!

Alex holds the sword to his side, spins in a circle, cross cutting the trees, and foiling a Rash jumping kick with a shintai blast to the thigh!!

Rash hits the ground face first...just as four trees crash down on top of him...

Alex quickly jumps on the pile...

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ONE!!

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TWO!!

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THREE!!!

Rash begins to jostle the pile...but it's too late...Alex gets the win...and collapses on top the pile of fresh timber....

Winner by Pinfall >>> Alexander Nagol!!

**Commercial Break**

[-----]


[Ready in 5... 4... 3...]


J.R.: Well, Lilith, it looks like we're set for the next match, although I'm not sure the fans are going to like the rules for this one.

Lilith: Aw, come *ON*, J.R., we all know that they're both gonna be confusing the ref left and right. Can't get DQed if you don't get caught, right?

J.R.: Leave it to you to think of the other side of the coin, Lilith.

Lilith: And the other side of many things, J.R., but we'll leave that be for now, 'cuz here comes Buzzsaw!

[The familiar voice of Eminen starts belting out "If I Get Locked Up Tonight", and one half of Chainsaw makes his way down to the ring, looking primed and pumped, getting a very good pop from the crowd.]

J.R.: Chainsaw's been nothing short of a staple of the EAW since the beginning, it seems, and they've kept up an excellent record. These guys are a testament to how longevity in this business can pay off.

Lilith: Longevity in any business pays off, especially in my business. Right folks?

[Lilith, being the showoff that she is, poses from the crowd and gets a pop of her own, mostly from the Honry Male section of the crowd. J.R. just looks upset and shakes his head... until the LOUD jarring sound of the RTC Theme starts up.]

J.R.: Man, I keep forgetting how loud that is...

Lilith: You're telling me... and here comes the party-pooper himself... if I had half an hour, some whipped cream and a rope, I'd make him into a new man, no issue.

J.R.: ... to steal a modern phrase, TMI, Lilith. TM-by God-I.

[Needless to say, one very intense-looking Steven Richards makes his way down to the ring, staring daggers at Buzzsaw . Buzzsaw stares them right back, but lets Steven into the ring without a struggle, simply biding his time, the two stalking around each other.]

Lilith: Someone's gonna get busted up, even if this is NWA Rules! Those two look ready to tear each other new assholes, and not in a good way, either.

J.R.: Lilith, frankly, I don't think there IS a good way... and there's the bell! This macth is on!



-[NWA Rules Match]-
Buzzsaw vs. Steven Richards


J.R.: The two don't waste time! Arm-and-collar tie-up... Buzzsaw seems to have the advantage... and knees Richards in the gut. A quick follow-up slam and Richards backs away. Nice combination by Buzzsaw.

Lilith: I don't think Stevie felt that, though. Look at him, he looks ready to burst...

J.R.: Buzzsaw picking Richards u--Richards pushes Buzzsaw away and... MORALITY CHE--NO! Buzzsaw catches Richards' leg and slings him to the canvas. My God, that could've been the match! Buzzsaw laying into Richards with a few stomps... the ref's already giving him hell about it.

Lilith: Some old throwback from the NWA days, I bet. This ref looks older than Bea Arthur!

J.R.: ... no comment. Buzzsaw has Richards up... open-hand slap to Richards' face! And another! And another! And a backhand slap for good measure! Man, Buuzsaw looks like he's enjoying himself here! And a snapmare to put Richards back down.

Lilith: Richards is on his back in this match almost as much as I am in a day... I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

J.R.: Buzzsaw reaching for Richa--Richards with a chop to the chest! And another! He's on his feet and is chopping the hell out of Buzzsaw! Man, I thought Buzzsaw was enjoying this... Richards looks *obsessed*! Irish whip on Buzzsaw... Buzzsaw tries to counter with a clothesline, but Richards ducks... and hits with a nasty-looking high angle German suplex! Buzzsaw looks dazed!

Lilith: Aw, dammit! C'mon, Buzz! Beat that tightass's ass! C'mon!

J.R.: Richards has Buzzsaw in a corner and is laying into him with chop after chop! And now an open-hand slap to Buzzsaw's chest! Did you hear the smack of flesh against flesh on that one?! Richards goes for anoth--Buzzsaw shoulderblocks him to the mat! Richards not soo fast to get up, and Buzzsaw seems to be biding his time... Richards to his feet.... Buzzsaw hops onto the second rope and spears Richards right out of his shoes! What impact!

Lilith: And Buzzsaw covers! Hook of the leg...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Richards kicks out with authority!

J.R.: Both of 'em up... Buzzsaw charges Richards... drop toe hold brings the man down, and Richards cinches in a single-leg boston crab and grinds it down! Buzzsaw's gotta be in a world of hurt right now!

Lilith: HEY! Richards is knuckle-punching at Buzzsaw's thigh! Call the damn match, ref!

J.R.: The ref's too busy watching for Buzzsaw... he can't tap, since this is NWA rules, and has to say that he quits. Damn, that Richards is a crafty bastard! But wait! BUzzsaw powers up... moving towards the ropes... and reaches them! The ref breaks up the hold, but it looks like Richards already did some damage... Buzzsaw a bit shaky on that punched leg. He's up... and Richards wails away with more knife-edge chops! A few more... and another irish whip sends Buzzsaw towards the ropes... Richards low-set, patting his leg... he's going for the Morality Check again!

Lilith: Oh he-- Buzzsaw catches it again! Smooth move!

J.R.: Buzzsaw twists Richards' ankle and brings him to the ground... and locks in an anklelock! Now it's Richards' turn to squeal like a pig!

Lilith: ... J.R., I didn't know you had it in you!

J.R.: Let's not start... Richards making his way to the ropes... reaches them! Buzzsaw is forced to let go, and hobbles to his feet. That leg still seems a little gimpy... but Richards doesn't seem any better off. Another tie-up... knee to Richards' gut, and Buzzsaw sets him up for... he's pointing to the turnbuckle! I smell a snake-eyes bomb in Richards' future! Buzzsaw lifts him up, moves towards the turnbu--Richards flips over and counters into a sunset flip!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Buzzsaw kicks away and stands up, shaking out the cobwebs! It looks like the two're going to tangle aga--AH! The RTC Theme's started up again! The hell?!

[One seemingly familiar RTC man walks onto the stage and stays there, arms folded. Both Richards and Buzzsaw looks stunned.]

Lilith: ... whoa... looks like RTC boy's put on some weight and bought some new platform shoes or something! Are my eyes playing tricks, J.R.?

J.R.: No they're not, Lilith! But---Richards grabs Buzzsaw from behind and hits a bridging Tiger suplex! Buzzsaw never saw it coming!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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TH--NO! Buzzsaw kicks out at the last moment! And now they're both laying into each other with chops! My god, neither of 'em is giving up an inch! But why hasn't RTC Man interfered yet? He's just standing there!

Lilith: Not a clue! But-- Richards falls from a vicious chop and Buzzsaw's signalling for the Whiplash! The ref's distracted by RTC Man, though! Anything could happen!

J.R.: Here we go! Richards scooped u--slips behind Buzzsaw and gives him a VICIOUS low blow! That dastardly cheater got away with murder just as the ref was looking away! Richards picks Buzzsaw up and tosses him towards the corner... BUzzsaw bounces off the padding... MY GOD! Morality Check to the back of the head! This match is done! He's going for the pi--Lilith? Lilith, get back here! I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, but Lilith's up on the apron... MY GOD, SHE'S FLASHING THE REF! Richards had this match won, and Lilith's exacting some very sweet revenge! Richards is wondering why there's no count... oh no... he's up... the look in his eyes.... MORALITY CHECK ON LILITH! My God, he put everything into that one, and she went flying! She looks fine, though... damn, that girl's got more lives than a cat... and the ref's giving Richards hell about it! Richards ignoring him-- and gets SPEARED by Buzzsaw! They're both down! What a match!

Lilith: ... owww... that wasn't fun. Remind me to put something nasty in that prick's shoes nexttime.

J.R.: Good to see you're alright, Lilith. Ref's administering the ten-count... both men are struggling to get up... Buzzsaw's up first... he's waving Richards on... Richards up! It's like some kinda wild west showdown! Richards looks coiled for another Morality Check... and Buzzsaw's just waiting for it... who's gonna mave the first move! The tension is mounting!

Lilith: ... here comes Richards!

J.R.: Richards strikes! MORALITY CH--CAUGHT! REVERSED! WHIPLASH ON RICHARDS! WHIPLASH ON RICHARDS! Buzzsaw on his chest and hooking the leg!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THREE!

Winner by pinfall >>> Buzzsaw

J.R.: That was an amazing finish! Buzzsaw gave it his all and won! Impressive work! And I think Richards just got his ego knocked down another peg.

Lilith: You're telling me... whoa, waitasec... someone's coming through the crowd.... it's the Experimentals! Aw, now it's gonna get ugly!

J.R.: Zen and Star slide in, toss the ref out and go to work on Buzzsaw, backing him into the corner and tearing him apart... and Richards is up! Zen and Star holding Buzzsaw... MORALITY CHECK on Buzzsaw! This is just brutal!

Lilith: Finally! Here comes Chainz, and the fight is on! Bad odds, but still!

J.R.: Chaynz trying to defend his twin brother, but he's not having the best of luck... Richards looks like he's enjoying this, watching with that twisted smile on his face as the Experimentals wail on Chay-- waitasecond! Who's that?!

Lilith: .... I dunno about the purple hair, but it's Kairi! He's up... springboard shooting star on Tommy Zen! Richards looks mucho pissed... but it looks like he's gonna live to fight another day, and rolls out of the ring to join RTC Man at the stage... hell, why didn't that masked freak join in? I don't get it...

J.R.: I don't care, right now! Chaynz kicks Dave Star out and away from Buzzsaw, and Zen follows him, checking on his brother as those damn cowards slink back through the crowd, leaving Chainsaw and Kairi in the ring... now Chaynz is staring at Kairi... and they shake hands before Kairi leaves the ring the way he came.

Lilith: That was unexpected! But hell, you can't expect anything in the EA-Dubya!

J.R.: Indeed you can't Lilith! And we've got a Tag Team Title Tournament Match coming up next! Regal and Plodder versus Lupe and T-Bone! Next!

**Commercial Break**

JR: Next up we have a Tag Team Title Tournament! It will be the Regals Squaring off against the Lupe and T-Bone!

Lilith: Oh your so right, as normal jello!

JR: Pardon?

Lilith: Nothing. Anyway, introducing first, LUPE AND T-BONE!

*"Return to Innocence" by Enigma starts up as Lupe and T-Bone step out onto the stages to a good sized crowd pop. They walk down to the ring, as the fans cheer*

Lilith: well it seems that they are getting a good reaction from the crowd, though I would suppose they both deserve it!

JR: Well yes, I do believe so as well. They are a getting into the ring now, and awaiting their opponents, the Regals.

*The Regal's music starts to play but no one comes out...again the Regal's music hits but nothing happens*

Lilith:..well it looks like Lupe and T-Bone are going to take this one via count out...

JR: Exciting..Anyway..wait!

*The large screen flashes to the air port. The Regals are yelling at a woman at the counter. She shakes her head and points toward management. They scream at her some more but she just looks past them for another person to wait on. Regal starts to swear at her but she just looks the other way.*

*A new scene appears. There are two..ELVES?! YES TWO ELVES! They are sitting down drinking coffee. They look up at the camera with grime faces*

Elf 1: EAW...we are the Airport Elves, the devious little guys that cause sudden problems in planes. Well since Minister has been brought back to the EAW we have decided to break down air travel whereever your EAW stars go..Oh yeah, we mean business! WE ARE THE ELVES! WE DESERVE ALITTLE RESPECT AS...

*The elves are turned into explosions of red misty as the set they are one is blown all to hell. Minister jumps out of no were, stomping on the remains of the elves, laughing insanely.*

Minister: MUahAHahAHaHAHahAH! Take that you little pests...

*Minister notices the camera and points his gun at it*

Minister: I hate hidden cameras..I feel so..exposed!

*Minister blows away the camera cutting the signal*

Lilith:......

JR:........

*Lupe and T-Bone are in the ring staring blankly.*

Lilith:....so whats next on the list of matches?

JR: Umm...uh..oh yeah! Sonnette vs. Morty! Lilith: That means....It's main event time, JR!

JR: Yes, it is, Lilith. And, this one should be a very good one.

"Superbeast (Porno Holocaust Remix)" by Rob Zombie cues up as S&M's Morty appears on the stage with around of boos. Morty makes his way down to the ring, just as "Take A Look Around" by Limp Bizkit hits and the crowd jumps to their feet to greet the EAW World Heavyweight Champion, Sonnette. Sonnette heads down to the ring, gives her title to the referee, and the match gets underway.

*ding, ding, ding*

JR: Sonnette and Morty lock up for a collar-and-elbow, and Morty wins by pushing Sonnette down! Sonnette springs to her feet, and Morty attempts a clothesline, but Sonnette with the MAIVIA HURRICANE! Morty gets to his feet, and a knee shot to the gut of Sonnette. And, a piledriver!

Lilith: Sonnette is familiar with that position just like me. ~_^

JR: At any rate,! Morty sends the champ to the ropes, but Sonnette comes back with a FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK! Sonnette pins! . . . . Morty powers his way out!

JR: Sonnette nows sends Morty to the opposite end, Morty with a leapfrog... HIGH LEG DROPKICK FROM MORTY!! Morty with another clothesline coming.. Sonnette goes behind.. HENTAI-PLEX!! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . Kickout!

Lilith: That should teach Morty not to go for anymore clotheslines.

JR: Sonnette on the top rope, now... Morty catches her with a big boot on the chin! And, Sonnette loses her balance! Morty following Sonnette up to the top.. POWERBOMB FACEBUSTER OFF THE TOP ROPE!!

Lilith: Sonnette's head just bounced!

JR: Cover! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . KICKOUT!

JR: Sonnette is still in this, and she's firing off rights to the jaw of Morty, but Morty ducks one..

Lilith: Making Sonny spin around..

JR: ATOMIC DROP! And, a bulldog follow up!

Lilith: Morty taking to the champ, right now.

JR: Morty going for a DDT.. NORTHERN LIGHTS COUNTER! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . Thr--NEAR FALL!

JR: Sonnette sends Morty to the ropes, Sonnette dodges, but Morty hits a clothesline!!

Lilith: FINALLY!

JR: Morty has Sonnette for an Argentine backbreaker... THE RACK! PIN! . . . . ONE! . . . . TWO! . . . . SONNETTE KICKS OUT!

JR: Morty has Sonnette up for a Gorilla Press Slam... HE PRESSES HER OUT OF THE RING!! She fell chest-first on the padded mat out here! And, Morty is at the top... STARDUST PRESS TO THE OUTSIDE!!

"EA-Dubbya! EA-Dubbya! EA-Dubbya!"

"ONE!" "TWO!"

JR: The ref is counting the ten count, and now Morty whips Sonnette into the barricade.. but Sonnette flips upon it, and starts WALKING IT! Shades of Jeff Hardy here.. and a HEADSCISSORS OFF THE BARRICADE! "SIX!" "SEVEN!"

JR: Sonnette rolls Morty into the ring, and she climbs the turnbuckle, and... CONNECTS WITH THE MONEY SHOT!! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . THREE!!

JR: Not quite, JR... Morty kicked out.

JR: Oh. I think Sonnette is going for the Sonic Boom.. has Morty in the position, but Morty isn't being easy to get on the ropes.. she's up, though! Wait!! Morty spills free.. and he hooks Sonnette.... GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE!! . . . . One! . . . . Two! . . . . Three!

JR: My God, NO! Sonnette kicked out! But, Morty isn't stopping now.. he has Sonnette on the top rope, and he's up there too... X-FACTOR OFF THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE OUTSIDE!!

Lilith: We call that a normal facebuster here, Jimmy.

JR: Anyhow, Spike is looking under the ring.. and he has gasoline! And, he's pouring it all over Sonnette!

Lilith: Ref is on seven.. and now Mortis rolls Sonnette back into the ring.

JR: Morty.

Lilith: Whoever.

JR: Man, that smell... and, NOOOOO!! MORTY HAS A GODDAMNED THROWER OUT!!

Lilith: He can't be thinking...

JR: The ref is checking to see if Sonnette is alright.. he's kneeling down next to her, making sure she can continue. Wait!! Down the ramp... it's Alan Fletcher!!

Lilith: FETA!!

JR: Morty goes to the outside to cut whoever that guy is off... DUST IN MORTY'S FACE!! And, that Alan guy is taking off!

Morty shakes that powder out of his eyes, and he still has that flame thrower, but before he can get back in th! e ring...

JR: IT'S ALEXANDER NAGOL!! He's gotten here from his AAA Match, changed his clothes, and is out here to help the World Champ! MY GOD.. ALEXANDER USES THE STEPS TO PERFORM THE UNEXPECTED EXPLOSION!! Alexander rolls Morty in, and takes off to the back! Sonnette is up now, sets Morty up... SOOOONICCC BOOOM!!! Cover!! . . . . ONE! . . . . TWO! . . . . THREE!! Sonnette wins!

Lilith: Why the hell did Alexander come out here? And, FETA too?!

JR: I have no idea about Fletcher, but I think Alexander just might have saved Sonnette's life, though.

Lilith: But why?

JR: Don't ask me.

Winner by pinfall >>> Sonnette

JR: It's been a great night of action here EAW Tuesday Mayhem! Join us next time for the next EAW programming! For Lilith, this is Jim Ross saying.. Good Night!