Live from the Skyreach Centre in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, it's Wednesday Night Mayhem!!


After the introduction for Mayhem plays, then we open to the arena where wild Edmontonians have filled the Centre, carrying various signs..

"The Hitman...still the best."

"Guess how many Canadian dollars I paid to see this show?!"

"WE WANT OSEIKO!"

"Fruits & Vegetables!"

"Bee Gee: MWM seeks SWF for 3W Sexxx! Into: Anything you like!"

Megan: Welcome folks to tonight's EAW Mayhem. I'm here with...well...the pervert of the night, Flyboy.

Flyboy: I know you love me..

Megan: ...For another huge night of wrestling, including the ongoing tournament for the tag team titles. However, with one title situation being on to it's way of being solved, another arises...Red "Rock" West was injured quite a bit when Rash put her through all those tables.

Flyboy: A "Holy Sh*T" moment if there ever was one...

Megan: And as a result, she will be unable to defend her title. Now, ever the compassionate ones, the EAW brass thinks they may have to strip her of the title since she won't be able to return to action soon.

Flyboy: RED? STRIP?!? WHEN?! WHERE?!? I'd love to see that! Sure, she doesn't have much in the way of boobs and kinda scrawny, but she's got the cute thing going...

Megan: Yeesh...imagine that. Going through an ordeal like that and that's all they worry about.

Fly: Way the business works, sweets.

Megan: Well, Flyboy it looks like it's time for our Women's Title match.

Fly: WHOOOOO!! GIRLS IN SKIN-TIGHT OUTFITS TOUCHING EACH OTHER!! I LOVE MY
JOB!!

Megan: At least someone does. Anyhow, here comes the challenger,
now.

"Paperdoll" by Kittie cues up as "Bad Girl" BeeGee Hyde steps onto the
ramp, recieving an very loud ovation from the male audience.

Fly: *whistles
constantly*

BeeGee makes her way to the ring, and preps up for the champion to
make her way out. She doesn't have to wait long as "She's Actual Size" by They
Might Be Giants hits as the Women's Champion, Sarah Murphy, comes out with the
EAW Women's Title drapped over her shoulder. Sarah gets the same "attention"
from the male fans as B.G. did, as she heads down to the ring to meet
B.G.


EAW Women's Title Match
"Bad
Girl" B.G. Hyde Vs. Sarah Murphy (c)

Megan:
Wait! This match hasn't even started yet, and B.G. leaps off the !
top turnbuckle with a standing Senton Body Slapsh!! Sarah was caught completely
off guard, and she hasn't even had the chance to give her title to the ref
yet!

Fly: B.G. just really wants to win the title, I guess. But, did you she
that ass shot when she did that? Production crew get me a zoom on
that!

Megan: While he's over there gawking at that "shot", I have a match to
call.

Megan: B.G. has rolled Sarah into the ring, and she's right behind her,
and there's the bell!

*ding, ding, ding*

Megan: B.G. rolls into the ring,
but Sarah instantly starts kicking her. Sarah takes Hyde to the ropes, and a
high knee clothesline! Sarah setting up for a piledriver, now.. but Hyde with a
backdrop pin!

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One!

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KICKOUT BY Sarah!

Megan: Sarah up to her feet.. Spinning Heel Kick, ducked by
Hyde!

Fly: Sarah meet Mr. Implant DDT!

Megan: Hyde rushing off the ropes at
Sarah, reversed into a releasing hurricanrana! Sarah hits a powerbomb on Hyde!
Cover by the champ!

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One!

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KICKOUT!

Megan: Sarah springs to the top, THE PSICLONE!! BUT, HYDE LEAPS OUT
OF THE WAY! SARAH LANDS ON HER FEET, THOUGH!!

Fly: That's some great agility,
right there.

Megan: A grounded Psiclone!! Sarah now whips Hyde to the ropes,
and follows up with a dropkick in the corner!

Fly: Er, B.G. is slumped in the
corner. And, Sarah could be thinking of the..

Megan: THE BRONCO
BUSTER!!

Fly: I think B.G. might like that, actually.

Megan: Sarah now on
the turnbuckle celebrating, and her is back is turned to the ring.

Fly: That's
really dumb.

Megan: B.G. LOCKS IN THE CROTCH CLAW ON SARAH!!

Fly: She's
fingering her!! This edition of Mayhem is going into my private
collection!

Megan: A CROUTCH CLAW SLAM OFF THE TURNBUCKLE!! Cover!

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One!

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Two!

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Thr--KICKOUT by the champion!

Megan: Hyde follows up with multiple legdrops in
quick seccession, five total!

Fly: Did you see that? B.G.'s snatch was right
on Sarah's neck! Well, in a way, anyhow.

Megan: Now, B.G. hooks Sarah for a
Vertical Suplex, but she's spinning around! A SPINNING FRONT FACE
SUPLEX!

Fly: Hey, I used to do that move!

Megan: This could be it.. Hyde
going for the Bad Girl Express!.. Sarah counters!! A ELECTRIC CHAIRDROP!! The
pin!

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One!

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Two!

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THREE!! NOO!! Hyde kicks out!

Megan: Sarah awaiting B.G. to get up, and the
Tiger Scissors!! Sarah now tosses B.G. out to the outside!

Fly: Sarah is up
to the top again AND...

Megan: THE PSICLONE TO THE OUTSIDE!! But, the ref is
applying the mandotary ten count!

"ONE!"

Megan: B.G. hits a snap suplex on Sarah! And, now she's uncovering the
mats in front of us.

"TWO!"

Megan: A DDT on the concrete--Releasing Nortern Lights Suplex by Sarah!
Both girls are out!

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FIVE!"

Megan: Sarah gets to her feet and whips Hyde towards the barricade,
but B.G. hits a backflip and lands on Sarah's shoulders... MY WORD!! BAD GIRL
EXPRESS ON THE CONCRETE!! SARAH IS OUT!!

"SIX!"

"SEVEN!"

"EIGHT!"

Megan: B.G. slowly rolls into the ring...

"NINE!"

"TEN!"

Megan: B.G. wins by countout! But, she doesn't get the Women's
Title!

Fly: B.G. got shafted!! But, I wish it was by me!

"Paperdoll" by
Kittie cues up...

Megan: Maybe there's a rematch in the future, but for now,
B.G. wins the match, but Sarah keeps the title!

Winner by countout >>> "Bad
Girl" B.G. Hyde

*commercial break* Flyboy: And up next we have "Mr. Entertainment" against a returning former People's Champion Minister.

Megan: Wasn't Minister locked up?

Flyboy: Naw, Jackson went over and picked him up for us. I guess the EAW needs more talent..yeah right. Anyway..

*"Kyrptonite" by 3 Doors Down hits as "Mr. Entertainment" Kevin Tantum hits the state. He comes out to a semi unmoved crowd, but there are some people cheering for him. His slow start in the EAW has him on indiffrent terms with the fans.*

Flyboy: Mr. Enterainment..ha..entertaining to see get his ass kicked! Hahaha..

Megan: Shut it Flyboy. Kevin makes his way down to the ring as..

*The lights go dark as the whole arena is filled with white and red strobe lights. "The Alter" by Jerry Goldsmith hits. Minister limps out onto the stage, holding his right arm, and slightly dragging his left foot.*

Megan:..thats our talent? He looks like a piece of sh

Flyboy: Hey hey hey now..that guy right there is a former undefeated People's Champion making his redebut.

Megan: An how did he lose his title?

Flyboy: So maybe he's kinda...crazy but to be in this business you have to be..

*Minister walks down to the crowd with mixed responces. Some cheer, some boo, but Minister just smiles on down to the ring, mumbling to himself about something or another. Before Minister gets into the ring though, he grabs a mic.*

Flyboy: Whats this?

Minister: GOOD EVENING! I am Making My deBut BaCk in the EaW as Many of you might of NOT noticed, but hey, I forget ye. Anywho, I will face my opponent using only Low Blows and Headbutts! I SWeAR!

*Suddenly Minister gets a baseball slide by Kevin Tantum, knocking the Minister into the barracades. Kevin picks up Minister and rolls him into the ring.*

Megan: Well wasn't that interesting..

Flyboy: Looks like Kevin is taking the advantage in the earlier goings. Minister is up in the ring but is knocked down by a stiff closeline by Kevin. Kevin is picking Minister up..Low BLOW!!

Megan: Kevins down but the Ref didn't see it! Minister starts to head butt Kevin right in the nose. Minister off the ropes..Driving Headbutt into Kevin's head! Its like watching a Mountain Dew comercial!

Flyboy: Minister whipping Kevin into the ropes..Kevin Returns..Samoan Drop! well it looks like Minister broke his promise.

Megan: By looking at the man I would not doubt it. Minister picking up Kevin, and another whip into the ropes. Minister going to a close line...Kevin ducks into a neckbreaker! Kevin with a cover over Minister..1..Kick out by Minister!

Flyboy: Its gonna take alot more then a neckbreaker to put Minister down. Kevin with punches to Minister. Minister fighting back with..his head? Minister is hitting Kevin's hands with his head..Kevin cracks Minister in the head knocking him down..like we didn't see that coming..

Megan: Kevin is picking Minister up..going for a body slam..Minister reverse and goes for the cover..1..Kick out. Minister is giong to have to do more then that to beat him as well. Minister picks up Kevin..Spinning Neckbreaker..

Flyboy: Minister picking Kevin up again..Hanging Neckbreaker! Now a Reverse Twist of Fate Neckbreaker! Now a reverse fullnelson swinging Neckbreaker! Minister is really dipping into his neckbreaker abilities here!

Megan: I didn't even know Minister would wrestle with a technical edge.

Flyboy: Oh he's got it, back in the demented mind of his. Minister is picking up Kevin again...

Megan: Minister throws Kevin into the ropes..

Flyboy: Hey Megan is it that time of the month?

Megan: for what?

Flyboy: MINSTRYLE CYCLE! Minister hits the Minstryle Cycle and trust me folks, now it is over..

Megan: That..was disgusting Flyboy..Minister with the pin..1..2..3! Minister returns to the ring with a victory! Your still disgusting Flyboy..

Flyboy: What?!

*Minister rolls out of the ring as the crowd kinda cheers. Flyboy and Megan argue.*

Flyboy: We are back ladies and gentlemen. Right now, we have The Blue Boy facing Bret "The Hitman" Hart in a Singles Matchup.

Megan: For this one, I am picking Bret.

Flyboy: I don't care for either of them, I hope somebody screws this match up.

Megan: I don't think that is going to happen Flyboy, you have the People's Champion Michael Connelly watching, Nova, and Raven!

Flyboy: What can they do again? Nothing!

Megan: Well, let's go to the ring.

("Full Nelson" cues up as the fans stand up and begin to cheer. The fans begin a "Blue Boy" chant.)

Flyboy: Yeah, Blue Boy.. Good luck. Not!

Megan: Well I think this is going to be a very good matchup, with the respect in all in here to.

Flyboy: Oh boy. What fun. I think Bret will lose his cool and go a bit to far. But oh well. That's the point.

Megan: Well.. Blue Boy in the ring pointing to the back, I think he is trying to remind Steven Richards about this Dedication thing.

(Full Nelson dims down a bit, and then "One Step Closer" blares over the PA System as the fans stand up and begin to blow the roof off!)

Megan: I think Bret is the more liked, look at this reception!

Flyboy: Ya know, I am gonna give Bret credit for his ability to whine and complain.. Good job Bret!

Megan: I don't think there is a favorite.. But this is going to be a very good matchup, and I hope they keep it under control.. At least I think I do.

*ding ding*



Singles Match
The Blue Boy vs. Bret "Hitman" Hart



Megan: Blue Boy extends his hand over to Bret for a hand shake.. Bret nods and they shake hands. Bret and Blue Boy start circling each other, Blue Boy runs at Bret and hits him with a Running Clothesline.

Flyboy: What a move. Bret, you were to slow there man!

Megan: Bret stands back up, Blue Boy then walks over to him, they are going for a Lock Up.. Bret locks hands and then kicks him in the midsection, Headlock applied. Blue Boy pushing Bret over to the ropes, he throws him to the otherside, Blue Boy bends over looking for a Back Body Drop, SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Bret stands up, pushes his hair back and starts delivering Diving Elbows. Bret stands Blue Boy up and applies a Sleeper Hold.. Blue Boy is trying to stay alive here, he is swinging his arms around, JAWBREAKER!

Flyboy: Whoa, he can actually do that? Wow.

Megan: Bret Hart is down on the ground in pain, he starts to get up slowly, he walks backwards into the turnbuckle, Blue Boy runs at him with a Running Splash! Bret is dazily walking forward, Blue Boy with an Armbar.. BLUE BLASTER!!! BLUE BLASTER!! IT COULD BE OVER!!

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3!! No!!! Bret pushes his shoulder up on Blue Boy..

Flyboy: With his size that is kinda hard to do.

Megan: Yeah yeah.. Blue Boy picks Bret up, he throws him into the corner, Blue Boy runs, Bret counters with a Boot to the Face! Blue Boy falls back holding his face, Bret then runs at him and hits a Dropkick. Blue Boy is still standing, Bret runs behind him, KNEE BREAKER!! Bret is breathing heavily at the moment, he goes over to Blue Boy's legs.. SHARPSHOOTER!! SHARPSHOOTER!!!

Flyboy: Nah, he's to close to the ropes.

Megan: Your right, Blue Boy grabbed the ropes. Bret gets off of Blue Boy and has a word with the referee, Blue Boy stands up, SLINGSHOT BACK SUPLEX!!!

Cover!

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2
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KICKOUT!

Flyboy: Ya see the problem is that Bret isn't using any of his technical skill..

Megan: Kind of hard with a big guy in the ring with you ya know.

Flyboy: Good point.

Megan: Bret is holding his back, he gets up standing in the middle of the ring, Blue Boy is climbing the ropes.. Uh oh, looks like he is going for the "People's Leg Drop"!! He jumps off, WHAT THE HELL!? BRET JUST REVERSED IT INTO A SIDESLAM..!!??

Cover!!!

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.THREEEE no!!!! Blue Boy got his foot in the ropes right at the last moment he could.

Flyboy: How the hell did he do that?? How the hell did he do that Megan???

Megan: Good point there Flyboy, that is really something. Bret whips Blue Boy into the ropes, Blue Boy grabs Bret's chest and pushes him forward to the ropes, CLOTHESLINE OVER THE ROPES! Blue Boy now heading to the outside.

Flyboy: Wow, Blue Boy is bigger closer up.

Megan: Bret is trying to get up, Blue Boy is stomping on Bret ribs. Blue Boy rolls Bret back into the ring.

Flyboy: He lost weight already..?

Megan: Blue Boy now runs against the ropes, JUMPING SPLA... NO! BRET MOVES!!

Flyboy: That must hurt. This match is gonna keep going if there isn't anymore power moves.

Megan: Your right Flyboy. Bret now rolling up, Blue Boy is trying to get to his feet right now, they both do. Blue Boy runs at Bret Hart, SPINEBUSTER!!! Bret is down, and so is Blue Boy. The ref begins the count.

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Megan: Bret is now getting up, he walks over to the corner, he begins climbing. It looks like he could be going for the Sharp Injection.. He jumps off, HE MISSES!!! HE MISSED!! Blue Boy is struggling to stand up, wait, Bret pulls his leg backwards.. Blue Boy just kicked him! Blue Boy is up, he picks Bret up and throws him into the turnbuckle. Blue Boy starts giving him some Forarms into the face, wait, Bret grabs his arm on the last hit, Arm Drag!! Blue Boy is up again, Arm Drag by Bret!! Another!! Blue Boy runs at him, Japannesse Arm Drag by Blue Boy! Bret gets up and runs at Blue Boy, ducks, Falling Neckbreaker!!

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2
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.KICKOUT!!

Flyboy: Wow, look at these fans.. Standing ovation for these two, impressive matchup so far.

Megan: Now your talking Flyboy. Bret and Blue Boy stare at each, they lock up, Bret with a Standing Arm Bar, FLIPPING BODY DROP ON BRET!!! Blue Boy with a Leg Drop!!

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2
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Megan: Barely staying on two. Blue Boy quickly picks him up, POWERBOMB!! Blue Boy now getting up to the turnbuckle, he jumps off trying a Diving Elbow.. HE MISSED!!! How, what?

Flyboy: WHA!?

Megan: The force of that Powerbomb, how could he move?! Bret is rolling around, Blue Boy is attempting to get up, he does, he falls into the corner, Bret is now standing, Blue Boy runs at Bret Hart, HART ATTACK!! HART ATTACK!!! COVER..

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THREE!!! NO!! Blue Boy just tossed Bret off of him, what force by Blue Boy!

Flyboy: That is really something for Blue Boy, nice force, but still, who cares.

Megan: Blue Boy quickly stands up, he gets Bret Hart up, DVD!! DVD!! Blue Boy brings Bret right up, Bret is dazily moving around, Blue Boy is climbing the Top Rope, PEOPLE'S LEG DROP!!! PEOPLE'S LEG DROP!!!! HE COULD WIN IT!!

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3!!! Blue Boy wins!! Blue Boy wins!!

Winner by Pinfall: The Blue Boy

Flyboy: Wow, looks like he won respect from Bret Hart.

Megan: What's this? Blue Boy is helping up Bret Hart, Bret is holding his head in pain, the fans start to cheer. Blue Boy extends his hand again, Bret accepts. Bret raises Blue Boy's hand in the air. The fans are cheering them on. Huh?

(The Titon Tron comes into play, Steven Richards is watching a monitor with a smile on his face. He starts to clap.)

**Commercial Break**

"Symphony of Destruction" plays as Rash, surprisingly, makes his way to the ring from backstage. He high-fives a fan in the crowd that has a sign that says "Megan Eko should pose nude."

Rash jumps over the ropes, then he request for a mic.

Rash: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Symbiotes and Zoots, Everyone of all ag... Ok, we don't wanna become a stoner now, sorry. Anyways, as you all know, there's this certain tourney going on which is for the friggin' tag straps. And us, being the hungry competitors that we are, want to participate in this event.

But President Lord Gouka told us, that the only way we could get involved, was to find a partner that would gladly wrestle with us, to become the tag champs. Now, we searched high and low for a partner. Someone who was worthy enough to hang with us. We found that special someone. Now everyone in attendance, now introducing, my partner in the tag tourney is... BABY OF THE NITRO GIRLS!!!!!!!

"Countdown to Extinction" by Megadeth plays on the P.A. as Baby comes down to the ring as the fans pop for this.

Rash: Ladies and Gentlemen, you are now looking at... THE NEW EAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... RASH AND BABY!!! GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY.

"Countdown to Extinction" cues up again as Rash, with Baby in his arms holding for dear life, proceeds to swing away.

Fly: I now OFFICIALLY have my favorites picked out for this tournament!

Megan: But...but...BABY?! She's just a ordinary bim--er, girl. She's not even a wrestler, let alone able to compete against men.

Fly: Thought you were a modern woman? Don't you think she can do as well as a man?

Megan: I know that non wrestlers don't outwrestle wrestlers, and I know skinny-minnie ditzes aren't as strong as a pro wrestler...so I think this could be bad.

Fly: Well, I'M GONNA LOVE THIS!

Megan: Hmph.

Fly: Well, Megan it looks as if it's time for our number one contendership match, putting Derek Walker against "The Decadent" Hunter Hearst--oh, fuck it.

Megan: Great words, by our former World Champion.

Fly: Thanks!

Megan: This should be a great match between Hunter and Derek. Hunter has been to the top before, but with Derek holding a record of 21-8-2, they should show us what it's all about.

Fly: Plus, if you throw in the fact that it's for the number one contendership for the EAW World Title, they're going to be giving it their all. I should know, I had to fight Mechuis in a number one contendership match, and won I might add.

Megan: Yes, yes.. we know.

The familiar "Travel Theme (To Crystalis)" hits as the crowd roars, when Derek Walker appears on the stage. Derek hurries hir way to the ring, just as "Primal Concrete Sledge" by Pantera blasts over the P.A. signaling the arrival of "The Decadent" Hunter Hearst Hemsley with Hera. The crowd gives Hunter a heav! y boos as if he was Mechuis/Mechaos because of his comments torward Canada as he makes his down the ring.

Fly: Hey! He's copying my rountine!

Megan: No, actually you copied his rountine.

Fly: Oh. I remember one time that water got on the crowd in front of me, hee-hee.

Megan: People with your spit on their face, how lucky. Anyhow, Hunter entering the ring now, and the ref giving the signal, and this match had begun.

*ding, ding, ding*


#1 Contenders Match for the EAW World Championship TitleDerek Walker Vs. "The Decadent" Hunter Hearst Hemsley

Megan: This match is off in a jiff, as Hunter immediately takes down Derek with a lariat! Hunter is tuned for this match, but Derek with a kinnup by Derek, and a leg sweep takedown on Triple H! Both athletes to their feet, and they stare at each other right in the middle of the ring.. OH! Hunter pushes Derek to the ground, and a quick elbow. Hunter is doing all! he can to win, here.

Fly: Well, he should since this match is for the number one contendership.

Megan: Stop saying that!

Fly: It's the truth.

Megan: Triple H whips Derek to the ropes.. LOU THEZ PRESS! RAPID PUNCHES BY DEREK!! Derek stops the punches, but catches Hunter with a standing dropkick! Hunter rushing at Derek, and a head scissors takedown! Derek is on a roll!

Fly: Well, that kick to hir gut could have stopped that, and Hunter with a DDT!

Megan: Triple H sends Derek to the corner, and he rams in hir gut with a shoulderblock type manuver. But, he doesn't stop with one.. another, another.. my word, he's ramming his shoulder into Derek's ribs constantly!

Fly: There's that vicious side of Trips. Not nice to feel, I know.

Megan: Now, Hunter has Derek up for a Vertical Suplex.. AHH!! HANGMAN ON THE ROPES!!

Fly: But, Derek is not a man.

Megan: Well, whatever. Shi's hung on the ropes, and Triple H is making his way up top..

Fly: Hunter is not kno! wn to be a high flyer, hey wait.. let me go mess with Hera! I'll pinch her nipples again!

Megan: Just stay here, Fly. Hunter is up top, and Derek is dazed hung on the ropes.. LEGDROP!! BUT, DEREK MOVED! Derek waiting for Hunter to get up.. Springboard Hurricanrana! Shades of Rey Jr.! Pin! . . . One! . . . Two! . . . KICKOUT! Hunter is still in this thing, but Derek is following up quickly, though. Whip to the corner by Derek, and a Monkey Flip! Hunter up.. arm drag! Arm drag! Ugh.. Triple H stops Derek's offense with a knee to the breadbasket of Derek. And, a quick backslide by "The Decandent"! . . . One! . . . Two! . . . KICKOUT AT TWO! Derek gets back up and hits a great Northern Light Suplex! Kickout at two! Double clothesline!

Fly: They were thinking the same move and they both end up paying for it. Whoever gets up first will probably be in control of this match.

Megan: You could be right, but Derek is slowly getting up, and Hunter is right next to her. Derek up, as is Hunter.. Derek rushing at Hunter, but Hunter hits a snap powerslam! And, Hunter hits the High Knee Lift! Cover! . . . One! . . . Two! . . . KICKOUT!

Fly: Seems like Derek proved my theory false.

Megan: Hunter with a swift kick to the gut.. setting Derek up! Pedigree coming up--BACKBODY DROP!! Triple H is up... ENDLESS HUNGER!! ENDLESS HUNDER!! Hunter's arms are wailing everywhere! Can Hunter escape! Wait, Hunter's arm has found a rope! Derek must break the hold!

Fly: Wow, Trips got lucky his hand grabbed a rope, he would have truly given up if he didn't.

Megan: Derek is scaling is top rope.. but wait Hunter shakes the ropes, and Derek falls on hir midsection! Triple H follows Derek up top, and oh no.. PEDIGREE OFF THE TOP ROPE!! The pin!! . . . One! . . . Two! . . . Three! WAIT!! DEREK KICKED OUT!! SHI KICKED OUT!! And, Hunter can't believe it!

Fly: I can't either.

Megan: Hunter is rolling to the outside, and he's-- getting a damned steel chair..... and the referee isn't stopping him, damnit!

Fly: Well, Megan a match this big just can't end in a draw. There HAS to be a number one contender.

Megan: I suppose you're right, but now Hunter is waiting for Derek to get up.. SWING! But, the shi ducks the chairshot! Hunter turns around, FRONT DROPKICK BY DEREK!!

Fly: And, that chair smacked Hunter in the head, too!

Megan: Derek throws the chair out of the ring, and picks Hunter up. Derek going for a bulldog.. BUT, Hunter counters it as he shoves her into a nearby counter chest-first! Derek turns around, and is met with a the famous Triple H face buster! And, Hunter is going to the outside AGAIN! And, now he's setting up a table on the outside! This could mean serious trouble for Derek. Hunter on the a! pron, and has Derek by the neck... ACE CRUSHER ON THE ROPES BY DEREK!

Fly: And, Hunter fell dangerously close to that table, but hell, now Derek is setting Trips up on the table!

Megan: Fly is right, as Hunter is laying on the table, and Derek is in the inside now. What could shi be thinking of doing?

Fly: I think we're about to find out..

Megan: ... OH MY GOD!! DEREK HIT A 180 ASAI MOONSAULT THROUGH THAT TABLE ON HUNTER!!

"Holy Shit, Holy Shit, Holy Shit!!"

Fly: ... Holy Shit, Holy Shit!! That move is in WWF No Mercy... Holy Shit, Holy Shit!

Megan: This match has been a great one, and it's still not over! Derek rolls Hunter into the ring, and hits a Springboard Legdrop to follow! Derek now whipping Hunter into the ropes, but Hunter comes back with High Knee Lift, AH! Derek with a leap frog, and Hunter does the High Knee Lift on the referee!! Derek turns around and is met by a standard Pedigree!! Geez, these athletes are exhausted! But, Hunter is on ! the outside and finds... oh my... A SLEDGEHAMMER!! My word, and the ref is out cold! Hunter is rolling back into the ring, and waits as Derek gets back up.. oh no... WHACK!! A sledgehammer shot to hir's skull! And Hunter drives the sledgehammer into hir's gut! Derek is out cold!

Fly: Wait, the crowd.. their on their feet! LOOK MEGAN.. IN THE RING!!

Megan: It's Lance Storm!! And, a SUPERKICK TO THE FACE OF TRIPLE H!! Lance now has that sledgehammer, and is beating the living crap out of Hunter! MY GOD!! THAT SHOT HAD TO PUT A DENT IN HUNTER'S SKULL!! Lance drops the sledgehammer.. DEEP IMPACT ON THE METAL PART OF THE SLEDGEHAMMER!! Lance is now escaping through the crowd, as they cheer the man from their home province along.

Fly: If Lance is back to one hundred percent, that must mean Jericho is at one hundred ten percent since Lance's injury was more servere than Jericho's.

Megan: That may it be, Hunter and Derek are laid out, lying in a pool o! f their own blood, but Hunter throws an arm onto Derek somehow... the ref coming to!!

*The crowd counts along* . . . One! . . . Two! . . . Three!

*tons of boos from the crowd*

HUNTER IS THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!

Winner by pinfall, Number One Contender for the EAW World Title >>> "The Decadent" Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Megan: Both Derek and Triple H are seriously injured, and the EMTs are escorting them out of the arena, now. We'll give you their updates as soon as possible.

*lengthy commerical break*

Megan: We're back, and recieved word that Derek Walker is in a coma from Triple H's sledgehammer shot. And, Hunter, himself has a very severe concussion and hardly knows where he is, right now, thanks to the home province boy; Lance Storm. We'll keep you updated on their status.

Fly: That match was awesome, Megan. But, the fact is Hunter pulled it off.

Megan: Yes, he did. But, now it's time for the Main Event.

Fly: You mean.. there's more? I didn't think anything could top that. Except my match with Mechius, of course. We didn't use weapons, pure wrestling. Tell Gokuo he has to stop lett! ing Wolf book the higher matches!

Megan: *smirks* Well, anyhow, our Tag Team Tournament Match is next!

**Commercial Break**

After commercial break...

Megan: Welcome back everyone, for our main event, and final match of the night!

Flyboy: Well, duh! If it's one it has to be the other.

Megan: Maybe, maybe not.

Flyboy: I don't think so.

Megan: At any rate, it's time for yet another match in the EAW Tag Team Title Tournament. The next two teams we'll see in action tonight, vying for a spot in the next round, will be the newly formed team of Nova and Code Red versus the established, former tag title holding tandem of Wildpack 2000, Colley Dogstar and Scarlet Foxfire!

Flyboy: Anyone care to tell those two that that name is REALLY out of date by now? Plus teams with a "2000" on the end usually suck goat balls?

Megan: And do YOU think that?

Flyboy: No.

Flyboy: I think they suck big fat elephant balls.

Megan: To each, his or her own, I suppose.

"Aces High" by Iron Maiden cues up over the PA system, causing the crowd to pop rather largely.

Megan: And your opinion on this team?

Flyboy: One marginally cool, one mega-wuss.

Megan: That's our Flyboy...giving you opinions that--don't--matter.

"The following match up, with TV time remaining, is part of the EAW Tag Team Title Tournament. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 455 lbs, the team of 'Code Red' Connelly, and NOOOOOVA!!"

Flyboy: The wuss gets top billing? WTF is that?

Megan: Nova and CRMAC haven't teamed up for all that long, but if they can get past the Wildpack here tonight, I'd say that they have a good shot to win the tournment.

Flyboy: Big deal. The tag titles. If I was still an active wrestler, I could have clinched them. Just gimme any schmuck as a partner and I'll go in there and tear asses up.

Megan: Sure, you would have...

Flyboy: I wonder what might happen if T-Bone or Lupe would meet the Wildpack in the tourney. Since Lupe squeezed our her little pups, she's about ready to return to action.

Megan: I would except that a match like that would work out alright...they're friends, some of them have had matches against each other before...

"Born to be Wild" by Steppanwolf cues up as "Aces High" fades out, and "Big Yiffy" and Scarlet walk out to a huge pop.

"And now their opponents...weighing in tonight at a combined 412 lbs, they are....'Big Yiffy' Colley Dogstar and Scarlet Foxfire--the WILDPACK 2000!!"

Megan: With S&M currently out of the tournament, the Wildpack are probably the odds-on favorite to win the whole tournament...your thoughts?

Flyboy: Scarlet has a mighty fine ass this evening.

Megan: Award-winning, mind boggling analysis from the EAW's own Flyboy.

Flyboy: Ah, hell with you and your sarcasm...by the way, I'll be attending a BIG premiere soon.

Megan: Oh, you mean they thought of you as a VIP?

Flyboy: Well...not really...I won a radio contest.

Megan: Yeah?

Flyboy: Yeah, a trivia question, tenth caller to answer and get the right answer wins.

Megan: The question?

Flyboy: How big are Lara Croft's boobs?

Megan: One I assuredly don't know...

Flyboy: Well, I knew. Anyhow, let's see some fur fly! I wanna see some asskicking.

Main Event
EAW Tag Team Title Tournament Match
Nova/"Code Red" Michael Connelly vs. Wildpack 2000

As "Born to be Wild" fades out, Michael and Colley both get in the ring, then the bell hits.

*ding, ding*

Megan: And this match will kick off with Connelly and Dogstar starting us off. Colley no stranger to tag gold, but Michael and Colley have both held the People's Championship, the Television Title, and Colley of course was one-half of the tag team champs at several points--lock up center of the ring...Colley backing Michael towards the corner...collar and elbow...Michael breaks free..lays in a few right hands. Irish Whip...reversed...Michael into the ropes...drop toe hold by Colley...elbowdrop. Another! Michael getting back up, set up by Colley...Michael with a headlock takedown. Colley gets back up now, dropkick from Michael. Colley up again...more rights...an arm wringer...hook kick to the jaw of Colley! Michael sends Colley into the ropes...back body drop! Michael goes for the cover

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One!--kickout by Colley!

Flyboy: Going for a pinfall this early? That's just plain stupid.

Megan: Colley up...Michael going for a front headlock...Colley fighting it--Atomic Drop on Michael! Michael's stunned--clothesline by Colley takes Michael off his feet!

Flyboy: Come on, fuzzball...tag in Scarlet, quick.

Megan: Michael up...Irish Whip from Colley--Michael puts on the brakes...crescent kick misses...backdrop coming up from Colley--Michael lands behind on his feet..hooks the arms of Colley...backslide coming up...Colley fighting back...both of them bracing themselves as best they can...Colley taking the advantage...flips Michael over, Michael setting up Colley...back body drop--Michael lands on his feet around...turns around boot to the midsection, neckbreaker coming up...Colley slips free...German Suplex coming up...Michael blocking it best he can, arm drag over on Colley...both hit the ropes...DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!! WOW! An impressive string of counter wrestling by both of them...but now flat on their backs.

Flyboy: Yeah, obviously both of them been taking notes from my matches.

Megan: You referring to your earlier garbage wrestling, or your spotty later wrestling?

Flyboy: My amazing technical wrestling.

Megan: Suuuure.

1....2....3....

Megan: Colley getting up...Michael now as well...they're stuck near their corners, fortunately. TAGS MADE!!

Flyboy: OOoo..yeah!

Megan: Scarlet and Nova in...Nova after...scooped and slammed by Scarlet! Up now...Scarlet goes for--side back breaker from Nova counters! Nova up...Scarlet up favoring her back...Scarlet sent into the ropes...leapfrog over by Scarlet....Scarlet back now--arm dragged over...arm bar applied...up..back elbow..reversal into an arm bar...scoops and slams Nova again...Nova up...Scarlet springs toward the corner...TRIANGLE KICK nails Nova in the chest!!!

Flyboy: Damn...I love to watch Scarlet run and bounce around...especially bounce. Can we get an instant slow motion replay of that?

Megan: Scarlet hooks the leg!

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One!

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Kickout by Nova!

Flyboy: You know...if he were to switch to short tights, Blue Boy was right...he'd be a dead ringer for Val Venis.

Megan: Minus about 5 inches of height and 30-40 lbs.

Flyboy: OF...oh, you said "height."

Megan: Scarlet pulling up Nova by the ankle...Nova hopping on one foot...dragon screw leg whip by Scarlet...still holding on...leg lace applied as her leg crashes down on it! Nova bridging up..attempting to fight out of it...walking on his hands toward the ropes...Scarlet modifies it into an anklelock! Nova trying to roll in a way to reduce the pain...up..and...ROLLS HER OVER!!

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One!

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TWO!

Kickout!!

Flyboy: Butt high in the air! Butt high in the air!

Megan: Scarlet up, caught by surprise there...Nova up..dropkick in the back of the leg!

Flyboy: Whoa! Like Erik Watts' famous dropkick, only that was intentional.

Megan: Nova floored with that one...Nova up again...Scarlet sends him into the corner...hits it chest first...spins Nova again...set up...and POWERBOMB dropped by Scarlet! Impressive!

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One!

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TWO!

Kickout!

Flyboy: Scarlet's snout ALL UP IN Nova's crotch on that one!

Megan: Scarlet pulls him back up to his feet...scoops him up over her shoulders...wait...Nova rolls over with a scissorlock...springs up to his feet...Scarlet up...Nova sends her into the corner...hits it back first....Nova charges in...clothesline hits!! Nova with a front face lock...pulls Scarlet out of the corner...has her hooked center of the ring. SPIN DOCTOR!! Cover by Nova!

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One!

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Two!

Kickout by Scarlet!

Flyboy: Whoa...that move really wrenches the neck.

Megan: Nova and Scarlet back up...hammerlock by Nova...Scarlet reverses with one of her own..spins around...front face lock...snap suplex!! Nova up again...Scarlet and Nova with right hands on one another...Nova with a shot to the midsection...taking her towards the corner--Scarlet grabs hold...headscissors on Nova!! Springs off and takes him down! Nova trying to get free...Scarlet holding him down...Nova bridges up!! Hoists her up in the air, over his shoulders--DROPS HER DOWN FACE FIRST!!

Flyboy: Has his face in her lap, and THAT'S how he thanks her?

Megan: Nova makes the tag to Michael...Michael in now...Scarlet up to her feet...Michael takes her by the back of the head...rams her head to the turnbuckle...1....2....3....4....5...backdrops her onto the mat!!

Flyboy: Mikey's on fire now!!

Megan: He's definitely hot...getting up top...missile dropkick connects!

Flyboy: WHooooo!

Megan: Michael up now...Scarlet up...Michael laying in some kicks to the side of Scarlet...Scarlet ducks a kick...hooks the leg...waistlock as she pulls him up...twists and drops him on the hip...pulls him up...sends him into the ropes...on the return...HIGH LEG LARIAT!! Scarlet makes the tag!

Flyboy: Uh oh...he's in deep...

Megan: Scarlet sends Michael to the ropes..Colley and Scarlet waiting...DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE by Michael!

Flyboy: Maybe not.

Megan: Michael sends Scarlet into the corner...goes to fire Colley in...Colley reverses..Michael hits the corner...landing right into Scarlet! Michael staggers away...backdropped by Colley!! Michael pulled up to his feet...waistlock by Colley...standing switch...snapmared over by Colley...dropkick into the back! Michael pulled up by Colley...into the ropes...kick-EVENFLOW!!

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One!

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TWO!

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Kickout by Michael!!

Flyboy: SO close, so close!

Megan: Michael up...jawbreaker surprises Colley...Michael setting up Colley...blocked...knee to the midsection doubles him over...Michael from behind....set up...CRIMSON TIDE!! Cover now!

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One!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

Flyboy: DAMN DAMN DAMN!!

Megan: Michael coming so close...sends Colley to the ropes...tilt-a-whirl...NO..Colley UP...set up...POWERBOMB!! Up against...SECOND ONE!! Up and DOWN!! Scarlet on top...MOONSAULT on top!! Scarlet out of the ring..Colley covers!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THREE!!

*ding, ding*

Flyboy: YEEEEEEEEEEAH!!! Great shot of Scarlet!

Megan: The Wildpack 2000 pull off the win! They advance in the tag title tournament!

"Born to be Wild" by Steppenwolf plays as the referee raises their han--er, paws.

Megan: Incredible match for all involved...folks, we're taking the weekend off, but stay tuned next week at the normal time for a Tuesday Night Mayhem! Don't miss it!



™ & © EAW, Inc., 2001