Before the show starts, we go through a MODIFIED mayhem intro...with some of the footage colored red and yellow...plus with clips of Hogan posing thrown in.

We cut to the Indiana State Fair Coliseum as fireworks go off in the arena, and scan the crowd where suchs signs can be found as: "Erica Angel's Three I's: Independence, Illustrious, Ingenious," "Panda Bears Own Vince," "Panda Bears = Ratings," "WWE = Worst Wrestling...Ever," (A panda bear with a 'old' WWF logo over it), A panda bear crossed off, "Whatcha gunna do Vince? Whatcha gonna do when Pandas run wild on YOU!?" EXPLODING MANGOS IN MY HEAD! I LOVE MY BEEF, JIM!", "Kirk Angel Stole My Thong!", "Hey Kirk, I like feet, too!", "Orange Goblin fears the Green Goblin," "We Love Crash!"(Held up by people dressed as the Jetsons), "SPIDER-CHAN, WAAAAAAI! (Picture of Oseiko, with a mock-up of a Spiderman costume around her)."

Styles: Hello everyone and welcome to EAW Mayhem! Joey Styles filling in for Megan Eko right now and Paul Heyman at ringside and we have one explosive show here tonight!!

Heyman: And might I stay Mr. Styles, it is a pleasure to be working with you once again.

Styles: …you still owe me some money from ECW.

Heyman: Um...

Styles: We'll talk later.

To start things off, the sounds of "Gonna Fly Now" cues up, and out from the entryway comes the Olympic Hero and PWF and EAW Champion Kirk Angel comes out...once he's on stage, the fireworks explode.

Heyman: And what a way to start things off, with the GREATEST PWF and EAW Champion of all time coming out here! I'm so proud to know Kirk Angel is the top dog in this company!

Styles: You and several other people. Still there's no denying the skill of Kirk Angel!

Kirk gets into the ring and poses for the world to see, before taking a mic in hand. "Greetings people of Indianapolis...FINALLY you all have something good to look up to!"

The crowd boos in response.

Styles: And Angel once more turning on the charm here tonight.

Heyman: These people don't know true talent when they see it.

Kirk ignores the boos a bit. "I'm glad I'm getting treated like the superstar I am. But enough about this. Let's talk about the next PPV...Aggression, and my "Worthy opponent" Michael Connelly..."

Styles: He definitely IS a worthy opponent in many people's minds! Some say he may very will be the next EAW Champion!

Heyman: Only if Kirk Angel forfeits the title. Otherwise, best he can do is the Triple Crown title.

Angel looks around. "Mikey, I want you to do something: I want you to get all the people you can...your So Called "fans"...to come to the event. If there's an open seat for them, as my 90,000 plus fans will be in attendance...I want those 12 fans of yours to come into the event and watch. Because that night, they'll watch as I totally and utterly brutalize you in front of 90,000 plus in the Pontiac Silverdome, and make you tap like the b*tch you are!"

Heyman: YES! Tell it like it is, Angel!

Styles: Well, that's not entirely fair, Michael's got more fans than that...

The fans boos loudly at Kirk as he continues.

"And as far as my baby sister Erica goes...I can't believe how jealous she is of my success!" he states. "I mean, think about it...she goes to Japan to get some measure of ring skills, just so she can be like me. Then she has the audacity to say she hates me? Erica...if it wasn't for me...you would be NOTHING!"

Heyman: Listen to Kirk Angel spout the more truth than ANY wrestler in this company ever has!

Suddenly, "Don't Tread On Me" by Metallica cues up!!

Styles: What th--?! HEY!!! LOOK WHO'S COMING OUT?!!

Sure enough, still in her street clothes, is Erica Angel herself! The fans cheering as she stands out onto the stage, arms crossed as she looks at Kirk... then shakes her head as she walks down the aisle!

Kirk glares at his baby sister as she comes down.

Heyman: This is exactly what Kirk Angel was talking about. She's SO jealous of Kirk Angel that she'll interrupt HIS interview time to spout some more bullshit!

Erica stops at ringside... then smiles, going to a fan and pointing out a sign shown earlier.

Styles: Independence, Illustrious, and Ingenious! I'd say that fits Erica Angel quite nicely!

Heyman: More like Idiotic, Insipid, and Ingrate if you ask me.

Erica then heads to the ring, getting a mic as she jumps in and stares face to face to Angel, smiling softly as her theme fades.

Erica: ... Hey, bro. I'm home.

The fans cheer as Erica says that.

Kirk: Well, speak of the ingrate herself. I see being in Japan for the past few years has done nothing to make you any smarter. A shame really.

Erica steps back... sighing as she shakes her head before she speaks.

Erica: And you haven't gotten any humbler, either Kirk. Y'know, you got it all wrong about me... I don't hate you, Kirk. How can I hate my own brother? Someone I looked up to for so long? It's not you I hate, it's what you've BECOME that I hate!

The fans cheer more.

Styles: Looks like we're going to get down to the bottom of this sibling rivalry!

Kirk smiles. "See, I was right. You hate the fact that I'm SO much better than you could EVER hope to be, 'sis". You know that you could never possibly achieve what I have...being the first Olympic Gold Medalist to go pro, as well as holding BOTH the PWF and EAW Titles at the same time. You know that you can't get what I've gotten, so you hate it. It's kinda sad, really."

Heyman: Words of wisdom from our champion here, Joey.

Erica: No, what's sad is you! Let me break it down for you and for everyone here, okay?

Erica sits back against a ring corner and looks to the fans.

Erica: Six years ago, Kirk. Yeah, you won the Olympic Gold Medals. With a broken neck no less! Huge accomplishment, Kirk! No doubt about it! Everyone was talking about it, and here I am, a twenty-three year old sister to an Olympic athlete, and I was never more prouder than anyone! Hell, I was first one to greet you when you arrived! There was tears in my eyes, Kirk! You remember, don't you?

Kirk: Of course I do...I have photos of the moment.

Erica: Yeah, so do I. Well, soon after that day? You began to change, and apparently I was the only one who seemed to notice, Kirk! You became arrogant... you began to grow an ego! Maybe it was understandable and all... but y'know? With the whole gold medal thing you were doing? Reminds me of that one Simpsons' episode where Homer bowled a perfect game and WOULDN'T GO AWAY!!! *Erica stands up* You kept harping about how great you were! How much of an Olympic hero you were! And you couldn't see that people were getting sick and tired of it! I had to endure all that for two years until I just threw up my hands, said "Screw it!" and I booked the next flight to Japan!! And I did a lot of growing up there, bro! I learned a lot from the best Japan had to offer! Then I come back and I review what you did... yeah, EAW and PWF champ, but you know what? You CHEATED to get both belts! When that mutant girl Blink got taken over by some spook, did you lift a finger to help her?! NO! You used her for your own ends, so now I gotta ask you... WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE KIRK ANGEL I USED TO KNOW!!!

Styles: Wow!! Listen to the pop this girl's getting!!

Heyman: This girl is obviously the deluded one of the Angel family.

Kirk looks at her, not hurt at all by what she's said. "You say I'm not who I once was? You obviously don't know me to well, sis. I am the same person that I was. You say I cheated to get those belts? How is it cheating when you know that the people you're facing would most likely do the same thing to you. It's called 'Justified Retaliation', sis. As for Blink...you want to know why I didn't try to help her? Because I DIDN'T KNOW HOW! Even though I'm a legend coming here...I'm only a human, so there was nothing I could do. And frankly, I don't like ANYONE...relatives of mine or not, to question my actions."

Erica: No, y'know you could've told SOMEONE... *Erica shakes her head* Well... y'know? I signed a temporary contract here in the EAW... it ends when I get a match with you, Kirk... and I will get a match with you, because my only goal here is to shoot down that hot air balloon you call an ego! And for the record? These fans are chanting "YOU SUCK!" at you not because you suck physically! No, you're a damn good athlete! They're chanting because you suck mentally! Emotionally! Your success is corrupting you, Kirk! Everyone can see it! The fans can see it! I can see it!!! Why can't you?!!

Styles: Very valid points from Erica! The fans seem to be in agreement!

Kirk glares...and grabs the lapel of Erica's shirt. "Because, unlike everything I've said in my life, it's not true...and as far as I'm concerned...I'm WAY above your league...so there's now way in HELL you're getting a match with me..."

Erica pauses... then sighs.

Erica: ... You know... as much as it hurts me to say it? I'm GLAD Dad's not around anymore to see how much of a jackass you've become.

That does it...and Kirk snaps right then and there...and goes to punch his sister right in the face.

Erica's unable to avoid it with Kirk with her shirt held onto by her brother as she jerks back, dropping to her knees. But suddenly she jumps upward and throws a swift high roundhouse kick at Kirk!

Kirk takes the hit...falling back against the ropes...and glares at her...about to start a fight with his sister, not caring about his match with Michael White later on.

Heyman: GO KIRK! TEACH THAT INGRATE WHAT A *REAL* ATHLETE CAN DO IN THAT RING!

Erica pulls off her jacket and throws it down, then goes into a wrestling stance, egging Kirk on.

Kirk goes for something...but pretty much every EAW official in the backstage area comes out to hold them back from attacking each other.

Styles: Well, the security and the referees have broken up this fight before it can really start... Erica seems to have calmed down and wisely leaves the ring! She's got a mic....

Erica: Kirk! When the time comes, I'll show you that I can be just as good as you, and I won't even have any stupid gold medals! It's true, it's GODDAMN TRUE!!

Erica throws down the mic as "Don't Tread On Me" cues up, and leaves the ring area as she stares at Kirk with almost a sad look in her eyes.

Kirk just glares on.

Heyman: Poor Kirk...having to have such a black sheep like Erica in his family. Hope he can make her see the light.

Styles: It's not pretty when family squabbles turn public, that's for sure! But who knows what the outcome will be in it all! Don't go away, folks! We'll be right back!

*ADVERTISMENTS! BUY, PURCHASE, GRAB WHAT YOU CAN!*

When we come back from commercials, the strains of Meredith Brook's song "Bitch" cues up, to a combination of boos and catcalls.

Joey: Well, we're about to have the most interesting contest on this card, as our broadcast colleague Megan Eko take on the woman coming out now, Kelly Connelly.

Heyman: But that's not all...it's not just ANY match...it's an "I’M A SLUT" match! And it's gonna be, not a wrestling match...but...

Joey: (clears throat)Allow me...a CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!

From the entryway, as the song reaches the refrain, out comes Kelly Connelly...wearing her ring attire...

Heyman: SEE! She's NOT a slut at all! Look how conservative that ring attire is!

Joey: She's about as conservative as Kimona Wanalaya and you know it Paul. Let's go to Gary Michael Capetta.

Capetta:The Following contest is the "I'm A Slut" match. The only way to win is to get your opponent to say the words "I'm A Slut". Introducing first, representing Generation-NEXT, currently residing in Minneapolis, Minnesota, standing 6' tall and weighing in at 127 pounds..."Superstar" Kelly Connelly!

Joey: ...did I just hear her announced as "Superstar"

Heyman: Yes you did, and it's gonna be proven to be very true in a few minutes here.

As Kelly gets into the ring ala Stacey Keibler, the sounds of the 'Kelly's a Slut' that was started by Megan Eko on the last show cue up throughout the arena...and Kelly tries her best to ignore them as she enters the ring.

Heyman: How unjust is this that Kelly is getting treated the way she is?

Joey: Personally, I find it an appropriate chant.

Heyman: For someone that screams like a little girl, I wouldn't be surprised you think so.

Suddenly, as Kelly stretches in the ring, "Wait and Bleed" by Slipknot cues up, and out comes Megan Eko in her ring attire, which consists of a black EAW t-shirt, black workout pants, and black boots.

Joey: Well, Megan's a bit more conservative ring attire, and simply using the Mayhem theme as her entrance music.

Heyman: Megan apparently doesn't fully understand the extravagance of the wrestling business these days, as she's going too simple.

Joey: But the fans don't seem to mind, as a Megan chant cues up. Capetta, take it away!

Capetta: Her opponent, from Wheeling, West Virginia, standing 5'8" tall and weighing in at 111 pounds…EAW Commentator Megan Eko!

Heyman: Well, for ONCE I can see if Megan knows how to perform half the moves she calls in the various matches she and I call.

Joey: That'd be like asking if Mike Tenay knew how to wrestle, Paul.

Heyman: Good point.

Joey: Eko up on the apron now…and Kelly starting early, suplexing Megan into the ring! We are underway now!

Heyman: What a brilliant move by Kelly Connelly there, taking advantage of Megan before she could try to get anything on Kelly.

Joey: It's more of a cheap shot if you ask me. Kelly now stomping away at Megan, and being relentless on the attack.

Heyman: And Kelly has impressed me thus far, making sure that Megan doesn't get a chance to attack.

Joey: Connelly sending Eko into the ropes now, attempted hip-toss…no, Megan manages to land on her feet…and turns for a dropkick onto Kelly's knees!

Heyman: Damn, now that WAS impressive for Megan, and she's taking advantage…going for the legs of Kelly.

Joey: Kelly holding her knee now, apparently not expecting something like that from Megan either as she has a face showing both surprise and pain. Megan taking Kelly's ankle…and slamming the knee of Kelly into the mat hard.

Heyman: But look how smart Kelly is…rolling right out of the ring before Megan can get TOO much of an advantage.

Joey: But Megan not wanting to wait for Kelly to get back into the ring, following her outside…but a kick to Megan's gut by Kelly.

Heyman: And might I say that seeing these two ladies fight is inspiring. Look at this…Kelly taking Megan's head and slamming it against our table.

Joey: Megan Eko holding her face in pain right now, and look at the sadistic smile on the face of Kelly.

Heyman: Kelly Connelly is a fighting machine…and she is going out here to prove just how dangerous she is, DESPITE what the people say about her.

Joey: Kelly now rolling Megan back into the ring and…woah.

Heyman: I LOVE how Kelly enters a wrestling ring!

Joey: Um…(clears throat)Kelly now stalking the downed Megan...smiling at what has happened thus far...but caught off guard by a hard kick to the hip of Kelly. Megan getting back up to her feet now, Kelly trying something…Megan with a hard punch to Kelly gut…and nicely placed DDT there by Megan!

Heyman: Both Megan and Kelly are surprising me in this match! Megan now going for a submission hold…but Kelly getting to the ropes…and Megan breaks it.

Joey: Kelly not fairing so well against our fellow commentator, and Megan now going off the ropes…going for an elbow-drop…but misses as Kelly rolls out of the way. Kelly slow to get up though…using the ropes to help get back up.

Heyman: Both these girls, for inexperienced wrestlers, are putting on a show.

Joey: Kelly waiting for Megan to get up to her feet now…what is this all about?

Heyman: Watch as Kelly shows up her family.

Joey: Oh no…the set up…Condition Red onto Megan Eko. Kelly using her cousin's move right on Megan.

Heyman: And she did it MUCH better than Connelly ever could!

Joey: Kelly getting Megan up to her feet…but look! Look who it is!

Heyman: What the hell is Glenda Jacobs doing out here? She has NO BUSINESS in this match!

Joey: Go up and tell that to her…look at this, grabbing Kelly Connelly…G-BOMB! OH MY GOD! Glenda has just decimated Kelly Connelly…and Megan looking at Glenda…

Heyman: SHE JUST PIE-FACED MEGAN! What in the hell is wrong with this woman?

Joey: Well she's getting a microphone right now, so apparently we're about to find out…

Upon getting it she looks around. "I told you that I was gonna start making my own fights befor long. I love to fight... that's why I'm in this business... that's why I get so pissed when have have bullshit!! That's why I left the WWF. That's why I came here so I could get away from PWF. But it seems even the EAW is full of bullshit. We've got some entertaining matches lined up. Tough matches... and then... a fucking "I'm a Slut" Match. Donnie, Donnie, Donnie.... did you sneak in and read Vince McMahon's personal journal? Who the hell wants to see a couple of untrained, no talent bimbos roll around a ring, pretend they know moves, only to ultimatly fulflill some base entertainment by having one yell out that she's a slut? Personally, I don't give a fuck. Megan and Kelly could both have nightly rituals, dressing up in leather girlscout uniforms and taking advantage of a horse. It has NOTHING to do with wrestling! It's as innane as thje Edge/Booker T match that was all about... A japanese Shampoo commercial. So, what I've got here is a promise. A promise that you fans won't see bullshit from me. You'll just see what you came to see. People getting beaten down, bloodied, and hurt. Cuz that's what I do... "

The stage suddnely explodes with pyro as Powerman 5000's "Bombshell" plays. Glenda "deisels" backward over the top rope and leaves, getting a mixed reaction from the crowd.

Heyman: Geez, and I thought that Megan was a bitch at that time of the month.

Joey: Well, I'm going to tag out as Megan should be back at the table after this break. Stay tuned for more Mayhem people!

*COMMERCIALS AGAIN*

Styles: We're back, folks! And we're set to start the finals of Crysta's tournament! Nova Vs. Eighteen! And the winner will get the managerial services of Crysta herself!

Heyman: Well, my money's on Nova! He's beaten Eighteen before, he can do it again!

Styles: Well, he had the help of a stasis pod last time, Paul.

Heyman: Pfft. Details. Nova STILL won.

"Conflict" cues up and Nova walks out to a chorus of boos; his attire seems reminiscent of popular anti-hero Spawn. He just ignores the jeers as he heads down to ringside.

Styles: Nova seems a bit confident here tonight!

Heyman: And why not?! He knows he's got the match in the bag, Styles! He's going to win this match and the wish-making machine of Crysta!

Styles: Well, that remains to be seen...

Nova jumps into the ring, and turns around just in time for the lights in the arena to go out...

...

Heyman: What the--?!

OOONNNNNE STEEEEEP!!!!

Heyman: AAH!

An emerald laser-light show forming into a column on the stage shines upward; within floats down Eighteen, dressed in her blue jean cut-offs, sandals, black bikini top, jewelery, and white leather vest with the Red Ribbon "18" symbol on the back.

Styles: Quite the impressive entrance from the Digimortal here, Paul!!

Heyman: Hmph. All show, really.

As Eighteen takes a step onto the stage, the laser lights shut off and the lights come back on. She then walks down the aisle, staring straight at Nova.

Styles: Eighteen jumps into the ring and NOVA CHARGES!!! Eighteen's quick to dodge and TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM!!! Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell, and this match officially starts!

Styles: Eighteen capitalizes on Nova being down early on... and LOCKS IN A BOW BACK BREAKER!!!! Nova struggles... OH, AND HE MANAGES TO RAKE EIGHTEEN'S EYES TO GET FREE! Nova gets up... throws a punch! And another! And-- EIGHTEEN BLOCKS THE THIRD PUNCH! AND-- HURRICARANA!! INTO A MOUNTED PUNCHES!!!

Heyman: ILLEGAL! ILLEGAL!!!

Styles: Eighteen steps up off of Nova... grabs him up-- NOVA SUCKER PUNCHES EIGHTEEN IN THE GUT! Spins around... and CLUBBING FOREARM SHOTS TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Eighteen's staggered... and Nova with an armdrag! Eighteen rolls to her feet and lunges for Nova-- THROWS HIM BACK TO THE MAT!! WHOA-- NOVA KIPPUPS! AHH! SPINNING HEEL KICK SENDS EIGHTEEN DOWN! Eighteen slow to her feet... Nova picks her up-- WHOA! BEARHUG FRONT SLAM BY EIGHTEEN! WHAT STRENGTH FROM THE DIGIMORTAL!!

Heyman: Is she even ALLOWED to be that strong?!

Styles: At the power level she's in, she's only just as strong as Kaye!

Heyman: Right. JUST as strong. >=p

Styles: Eighteen now... LOCKS IN THE 39 STRETCH!!! THAT MOVE PUTS A TREMENDOUS STRAIN ON THE NECK! NOVA'S TRYING TO REACH OUT WITH HIS FOOT... HE DID IT!! FOOT ON THE ROPES! EIGHTEEN BREAKS THE HOLD! She steps back as Nova gets up... WHOA!!

Heyman: GORE!! GORE!!! GORE!!!! GORE BY EIGHTEEN!!

Styles: Cover! One! T-NO! Nova kicks out! Eighteen sets Nova up... CLOTHESLINE--NO! NOVA DUCKS! AND NOVA WITH THE SPIN DOCTOR!! Eighteen manages to get up but gets met with a HURRICARANA BY NOVA! Nova grabs Eighteen up... and-- ELEVATOR!!! NOVA WITH THE PIN! ONE! T--NO! EIGHTEEN KICKS OUT!!

Heyman: A biased official from the start! What a slow count!!

Styles: Nova picks Eighteen up... and there's the arm wrench! Eighteen's up to one foot... WHOA! FLYING CROSS CHOP!!! AND NOVA'S DOWN! Eighteen grabs him up!! AND BACK DOWN WITH A SCOOP SLAM! Eighteen measures up... WHOA, WHAT A CLOTHESLINE! THAT TURNED NOVA NEARLY INSIDE OUT!!!

Heyman: I still say Eighteen's cheating somehow.

Styles: Eighteen pins! ONE! TWO! NO! Nova kicks out! Eighteen grabs Nova's arm and pulls him up... what is-- WHOA! JIUJITSU THROW!! WITH AUTHORITY! IT'S LIKE SHE WAS TRYING TO YANK OFF HIS ARM!!

Heyman: She may have will tried to! o_O

Styles: Eighteen picks Nova up, shoves him back-- WHOA! WICKED SIDE KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Nova's staggered... Eighteen goes to pick him up-- OH, A PUNCH TO THE GUT BY NOVA! Nova sets up-- AND THERE'S THE SLEDGE-O-MATIC!!!

Heyman: RIGHT IN THE VIRTUAL GENITALIA!!

Styles: Er, yes... *ahem* Nova picks Eighteen up and whips her to the ropes... POWERSLAM!! FOR THE PIN! ONE! TWO! TH--NO! EIGHTEEN GETS A SHOULDER UP!

Heyman: Stupid ref! 1,2,3! COUNT FASTER!

Styles: Nova looks a little agitated... grabs Eighteen up, whips-- no, short armed-- TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!!! PIN! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!! STILL EIGHTEEN WON'T GIVE UP!!

Heyman: Clearly this match is a travesty... the ref won't count to three!!

Styles: Nova measuring Eighteen as she gets up... ANOTHER SPINNING HEEL KICK!! That's staggered Eighteen and... THAT'S THE SET UP!!! NOVA-- KRYPTONITE KRUNCH!!!!

Heyman: YES! NOVA'S WON CRYSTA!!!

Styles: Nova with the pin! ONE! TWO! TH--NO!!! NO NO NO!!! EIGHTEEN GOT A SHOULDER UP BARELY!!!

Heyman: DAMN THAT REF!!!

Styles: Nova is REALLY getting ticked off now!! Nova stomps away at Eighteen... picks her up-- EIGHTEEN SHOVES HIM! AND-- BACK BRAIN KICK!!!! FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!

Heyman: NOO!!

Styles: EIGHTEEN COVERS!!! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!

Heyman: Oh, thank God!

Styles: Eighteen grabs Nova's legs... KICK TO THE MIDSECTION! She picks him up... and DRIVES IN THOSE FOREARM SHOTS TO THE BACK! And-- OH, REVERSE FACTOR!!!! Eighteen looks confident now... and she pulls that vest off and flings it down!

Heyman: SHE'S STRIPPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! O_O!

Styles: NO SHE'S NOT! She's getting down to business is what she's doing! And she's signalling for the TSF!! If she hits this it's all over!! EIGHTEEN GRABS NOVA-- NO!! NOVA COUNTERED WITH THE NOVACAINE!!!

Heyman: And poor Eighteen never felt a thing! >=D

Styles: Nova with the cover! One! Two! Thr--NO! EIGHTEEN STILL WITH THE SHOULDER UP! AND NOVA'S GETTING REALLY FUSTRATED NOW!!! Nova picks Eighteen up... sets up-- DEEP IMPACT!!! COVER! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!! EIGHTEEN STILL WON'T GO DOWN!!!

Heyman: She's cheating, she's GOTTA be!!

Styles: Nova grabs Eighteen an sets her up... DDT... SQUARED!!! COVER! ONE! TWO!!

Heyman: THREE!! THREE!!!!!

Styles: NO, EIGHTEEN PUT HER FOOT ON THE ROPES!! EXCELLENT RING SAVVY BY THE DIGIMORTAL!

Styles: This is just making Nova angrier!! He's gonna go to the top rope!! He's gonna... yes, he's signalling for the Nova Blast!!! Eighteen's slow to get up... NOVA LAUNCHES OFF AND-- OMIGOD!!!!!!

Heyman: IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!

Styles: EIGHTEEN GRABBED NOVA OUT OF THE AIR AND DELIVERED A WICKED TSF RIGHT OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!! HOLY CHRIST!!!! COVER! ONE!! TWO!!! THREE!!!!!!

Heyman: FOUL!!! FOUL!!! FOUL!!!!! THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL ANYONE COULD HAVE DONE THAT!! DID YOU SEE THE HEIGHT SHE JUMPED?!!! SHE USED HER POWERS FOR A SPLIT SECOND TO PULL THAT MOVE OFF!!!!!

Styles: No doubt a controversial finish, but still Eighteen's the winner of Crysta's tournament! And she wins Crysta! AND THERE SHE IS!!

Crysta runs out from the backstage area, sliding into the ring and embraces Eighteen happily. Eighteen hugs back, spinning her around in the air once, then sits her on her feet as Crysta raises the arm of her new wrestler!

Winner And New Wrestler of Crysta's: "The Digimortal" Eighteen

Heyman: Eighteen did NOT win this match fairly, Styles! Nova's still dazed!! Hell, Nova's probably lucky he's still alive!!

Styles: I don't think she used her full strength on him, Paul! Still, Eighteen DID say she'd do whatever it takes to win!

Heyman: That's no excuse!! If I was Nova I'd take this to Lord Gokuo himself and DEMAND that Eighteen be stripped of this win and Crysta be awarded to Nova!!

Styles: Well, as far as Crysta's concerned this tourament's over! And Eighteen is the winner! Don't go away, folks! We'll be right back!!

***

***

Joey: Welcome back to Mayhem people...in a few minutes we'll have the match with Chainsaw and the Girls of Goth getting mixed up just a bit.

Heyman: Which in my opinion was a BRILLIANT move by Donnie B. Keep these two teams from getting too close to each other before the unification tournament

Joey: I think he did that just to try to break up the two teams…him and his moronic organization.

Heyman: How DARE you call Generation-NEXT moronic! I mean, they have DAVID FLAIR on their team.

Joey: Exactly my point.

Before Heyman can get in a rebuttal, "Nobodies" cues up over the speaker system to start off the entrances for the talked about tag match.

Capetta: The following Tag-Team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Roswell, New Mexico, standing 5'8" tall and weighing in at 136 pounds…one half of the Girls of Goth…Sin!

Heyman: WHOO! The sexy, lesbian half of the Girls of Goth! WHOO!

Joey: My ex-boss: Mr. Hormones, ladies and gentlemen.

Sin waits on the end of the ramp-way, looking back a bit…and then, "Points of Authority" cues up, and sin looks back during the entrance.

Capetta: And her partner, from Venice Beach, California…standing 6'2" tall and weighing in at 229 pounds…one half of Chainsaw…Buzzsaw!

Joey: And a very strange sight indeed, seeing two tag teams still together split up.

Heyman: It's called sparking interest, Joey. Making people tune in to see how these two teams, now split, will interact with each other.

Joey: Well, we know what Sin and Shade have planned for this match, but as for Chaynz and Buzzsaw…we'll just have to wait and see.

As if on cue, "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit cues up…and first comes Chaynz, as to be expected…but after a bit.

Joey: OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS! BOTH Shade and Chaynz coming out at the same time!

Capetta: And their opponents, at a total combined weight of 371 pounds…Chaynz and Shade!

Heyman: Well already Chaynz and Shade showing some unity, which is more than could be said about their opponents for this match.

Joey: And look at the stare-down now between the two teams. Long time alliances there…since childhood for both teams here.

Heyman: This will be great to see. BRUTALIZE EACH OTHER!

Joey: Both teams now working out who will start it off…and apparently it'll be Buzzsaw and Shade to begin things for their respective teams here. Shade and Buzzsaw locking up in a tie-up now, and Shade gets an early headlock…and a tag already to Chaynz?

Heyman: Shade apparently just wanted to test her boyfriend…and Chaynz with a kick to his own brother now! A surprising twist of events early on in this match.

Joey: Chaynz now grabbing his brother as Shade leaves the ring, and lifts his brother up over his head…dropping him hard onto the mat with that powerslam.

Heyman: Chaynz knowing that this is a match, so he needs to be a professional about this.

Joey: And Chaynz makes another tag to his partner Shade…quick tags already in this match between the lovers. Shade coming in…and look…Double DDT by Chaynz and Shade!

Heyman: Well, seems that they did more in their training sessions besides…

Joey: Stop right there! Shade tagging in Chaynz once again, and he takes his brother…but Buzzsaw with a quick thrust kick to the face of Chaynz…and makes the tag in to Sin now!

Heyman: The first tag of the match for the team of Sin and Buzzsaw now…and Sin FLYING into the ring with a clothesline!

Joey: Chaynz down on the mat again, trying to get back up…SIN WITH A SUPERKICK RIGHT TO HIS FACE! And Sin tagging Buzzsaw back in the ring, they're waiting…DOUBLE SUPERKICK on Chaynz.

Heyman: These two teams are showing great continuity already, and this is just their first match! Buzzsaw now grabbing his brother…the set up…but Chaynz with a backdrop.

Joey: Something Chaynz needed there, and reaching in for another tag…but Buzzsaw grabbing his ankle and pulling him back to the middle of the ring…CHAYNZ with an enziguri…but Buzzsaw falls into his corner and Sin makes another tag.

Heyman: And look at Sin dive after Chaynz…going for the first fall of the match!

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TWO!

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Joey: Reverse by Chaynz…but look, Shade to break it.

Heyman: The confusion factor and familiarity of the teams has possibly cost Shade and Chaynz the match.

Joey: We'll have to see about that. Shade now back in her corner, and Chaynz getting over this right now, both Chaynz and Sin back up to their feet now, exchanging right hands with each other, but Chaynz now getting the advantage.

Heyman: Sending Sin off of the ropes now…GOOOOOORE! GOOOOORE! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!

Joey: Shades of Rhyno right there, cover again by Chaynz…

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TWO

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Kickout by Sin right there.

Heyman: Well, Chaynz isn't as tough as Rhyno is, so it's not too surprising that the move didn't work out.

Joey: Chaynz going in for a tag to Shade…but she's refusing the tag…

Heyman: What, is she afraid of her sister beating the crap out of her?

Joey: Come on Heyman, you know what this is about. Well Chaynz respecting his girlfriend's decision here now, and picking up Sin for a military press now…BUT SIN GETS OUT OF IT NOW! She lands behind Chaynz…NECKBREAKER!

Heyman: But Sin has been a little worn out from the moves that Chaynz has put her in, and is down on the mat as well. Can she make a tag?

Joey: Well, both Sin and Chaynz crawling to their respective corners, Chaynz a bit closer…makes the tag to Shade as Sin tags in Buzzsaw!

Heyman: NOW things are gonna start getting interesting…Buzzsaw rushes in and Gooo…

Joey: It's a spear in Buzzsaw's case, Paul. Sin getting up to her feet now…but what the hell?

Heyman: He speared his own partner, Sin! Now he's acting like he didn't mean to, yeah right.

Joey: Well in any case, this gives Shade the chance she needed, and tags back in her partner Chaynz. The two brothers fighting again…fistfight, both of them trying to get an advantage in this situation…nothing doing. Both of them going off the ropes for a clothesline now…and both get blasted with it!

Heyman: And NOW things are going to be interesting here….the only thing these two brothers can do is tag in the two Girls of Goth!

Joey: …I have to admit, this WILL be interesting to see. Chaynz and Buzzsaw reaching for their corners…the girls reaching out…possibly to stop the other tag from being made…

Heyman: But to no avail! BOTH Girls of Goth are in the ring now, and NOW it's going to be Sister against Sister.

Joey: Well Shade and Sin now staring at each other…Chaynz and Buzzsaw in no position to try to get back in the ring.

Heyman: Come on girls…FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Joey: And the girls going off the ropes now…Double High Cross body! Both girls had the same idea…and both girls have an arm draped over the other!

Heyman: Oh no, not again!

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TWO

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THREE!

Heyman: OK…this is getting ridiculous. Something has to be done about all these double pinfalls!

Joey: Well in any event, it will go down in the books as a draw for the two teams…possibly the best outcome here now. And after this break, Megan will be back…and the Triple Crown title will be on the line! Stay tuned!

*MORE COMMERCIALS*

We come back as Megan is rejoining the broadcast...

Megan: Testing...testing...we on? ....Okay, good. *Ahem* My thanks to Mr. Styles for being our special guest tonight, and taking on broadcast duties for the first half of Mayhem.

Paul: Ah yes...you're looking well. Showered, changed?

Megan: Well...yes...that's why my hair is a LITTLE wet.

Paul: *Not paying attention* Shoooooooowerin--Ahem...did you say something? I was....thinking.

Megan: *sigh* Nevermind, but this will be the first Mayhem under...partially new ownership.

Paul: Please don't remind me...let it be known right now...I don't CARE what HE thinks of me, but I HATE Hulk Hogan. I know you do too, you're just too nicey-nicey to say so. Only suitable he carries around the...World Wrestling ENTERTAINMENT!...*says that phrase venomously*...Title. He set back WRESTLING so far that only such companies as ECW--when it existed--the NWA/WCW in it's years BEFORE he helped destroy it, and EAW could carry the banner for WRESTLING! EAW stars are here to entertain, sure...but FIRST and FOREMOST they are here to WRESTLE!! And if some over-the-hill, pumped-up, egotistical...SPORTS ENTERTAINER...like him thinks we'll let him ruin us, he's sadly mistaken. Hogan...GET...THE HELL...OUT...OF OUR COMPANY!! You're a disgrace to the business and the title you hold. I've seen mothers of triplets who sagged less and had fewer stretch marks, and it took someone as unskilled as you to actually make Nash look like a credible main eventer in comparison. SCREW YOU...SCREW YOUR BOSS VINCE...and SCREW ANYONE WHO SUCKS UP TO YOUR WORTHLESS ASS!! SOMEONE around here needs to get together the balls to say it...to say the truth, and I guess I had to be the one to say it.

Megan: Well...EAW's version of Lewis Black, fans. And speaking of which...the challenger in our next match actually invited Hogan to appear on the next showing of the Swan's Nest--Akiko. Maybe Hogan will...rebut...to your comments.

Paul: LET HIM...he comes near me, I'll have Brock on him like white on rice.

Megan: Or Kirk Angel. =P

Paul: *AHEM*...if you'll dispense with the joking...we can get on with the show. And I don't fear for my job...my talents are indispensible!!

Megan: ...right. Keep on talking, Paul.

"Cherry Bomb" by Shonen Knife cues up...

Capetta: The following match up is scheduled for one fall...with a fifteen minute time limit...and is for the EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Title!! Introducing first, the challenger. From Kyoto, Japan...she is the MPRW Public Access Champion, and one-half of Kyouki Shoujo...AKIKO...NAAAAAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAANOOOOOOOO!!

Megan: Akiko and Oseiko making up the team of "Kyouki Shoujo." However, this shot at the EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Title will be the end of the MRPW P.A. Title. Either way, it will be retired. Although, Oseiko has feared shots at singles titles will ruin their chances as a tag team and ability to go for singles gold.

Paul: No DUH...just ask Marty Jannetty about something like that. Or Stevie Ray. Or Jim Neidhard. Or...uh...well, you could be even worse off and end up like the Eliminators. Remember Saturn and Kronus' GLORIOUS singles careers? Neither does anyone else.

Megan: Great...a ranting, raving Paul Heyman, JUST what we needed. :P

Paul: It's the truth!!

"Here Comes the Pain" by Slayer plays...

Capetta: And her opponent...from...another planet...he is the EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion. Standing 6'9" and weighing in at 268 pounds...RAAAAAAAASH!!

Megan: And Rash one of the more outspoken EAW wrestlers about Hogan's...acquisation of the majority of EAW stock.

Paul: And that symbiote speaks the TRUTH, Megan.

Megan: By that I hope you don't mean harasses people about the dangerous effects of smoking...which is more likely to drive me to START smoking, if anything.

Paul: Nope, not that kind.

Megan: Thank God...Rash getting in the ring now...showing off that title belt of his. Gee...I wonder where his new girlfriend is? You know...I kind of expected her to show up at ringside.

Paul: Ohhh...that'd make for a great....CATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIII....why are you looking at me like that?

Megan: Because I'm *THIS* close to smacking you again...Brock or no Brock.

Paul: Hehehe..."that time of the month"...I figured.

Megan: NO NO NO NO NO!!! >_< *Sigh* I should get hazard pay for this job.

*ding, ding*

Megan: And here we go with Akiko challenging Rash...title on the line, and probably Oseiko not overjoyed about this--Akiko taking it to Rash with high speed kicks--last one caught--hoisted up--slams her down hard on the back. That is, that Oseiko fears that singles titles may end up splitting Kyouki Shoujo.

Paul: But that...is NOT a bad thing...it's a GOOD thing. And Oseiko should stop running scared from Crash Holly, who is about to take that Extreme Title away...well, since Sasori isn't really in any condition to be facing anyone...

Megan: That very well may be the case--and Akiko pulled up by Rash--sent to the ropes--Akiko bouncing off--back elbow catches him in the jaw, Akiko kippups--sweep kick on Rash. Akiko wrenching the arm--Mahistrahl Crad--NO!--roll up by Rash! One! Kickout by Akiko!

Paul: And a brilliant counter there by Rash, who may very well end up the "Next Big Thing" himself in EAW, already capturing the 2nd most prestigious title. Picking her up by the hair--snapmare--and a dropkick to the back. Rash hoisting her up--tossing her out to the floor with ease!

Megan: As much ease as you'd expect a wrestler almost twice another's size to have. Rash out of the apron--Asai MOONSAULT onto Akiko, nearly sending her against the safety railing....scooped up by Rash...could be a powersl--MIST by Akiko! Akiko locking a headlock on Rash...seated up on the apron--SPINNING DDT drives him head-first into the floor!

"1!"

Paul: And such horribly blatant cheap offense there, MISTING Rash in the middle of a match!

"2!"

Megan: Well, you've cheered on wrestlers who've done far worse...and Akiko stomping away on Rash...

"3!"

Paul: Picking him up now, set up another DD--no, a suplex--NO! Rash preventing it...setting her up...and a SIDEWOK SLAM on Akiko!

"4!"

Megan: Ha..ha. Baby looking on here as Rash picks up his opponent Akiko...the title IS on the line here, folks...and WHIPS HER THE STEEL STAIRS!

"5!"

Paul: Very well done there...and rolling her back inside the ring...slingshot set up now--flipping over on--

Megan: KNEES UP by Akiko!! That stopped Rash's advantage cold...Akiko up...Rash getting to his feet--Spinning Wheel Kick by Akiko putting him down, and laying him out in front of the ropes...to the apron...SOMERSAULT LEG DROP across the throat by Akiko!

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ONE!

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Tw--NO!

Paul: And Rash easily kicking out there...and Akiko is going to have to pull out all the stops here...picking him up now...to the corn--blocked by Rash--elbow to the midsection, and Rash setting her up in the corner...knees to the midsection...and...BOOT ACROSS THE THROAT!! Rash choking the life out Akiko...and a SHOT with the elbow for good measure.

Megan: BLATANT CHOKE by Rash...and now--TOSSING HER OUT OF THE CORNER onto her back...and Akiko in trouble here...Rash bolting out of the corner--AKIKO WITH A DROP TOE HOLD on Rash!! Now locking on a Canadian Maplel--Rash now--shooting webbing at the ropes--and reeling himself to it...for the break. The referee not noticing...Akiko breaks, although I should hope the referee will notice how suspect that was.

Paul: Rash simply using a brilliant escape tactic there...Akiko back up and going up to the top rope...Rash getting up to his feet--MISSILE DROPKICK on Rash! And a cover by Akiko...

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ONE!

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TWO!

Kickout!

Paul: And Akiko...borrowing from Lance's strageties there, but Rash still still plenty of gas in the tank. Akiko back up, and pulling up Rash--going for a Tornado DD--no, but Rash ramming Akiko back-first to the corner...wristlock...and Rash going up to the top rope...RASH ATTACK!! Hook of the leg...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Megan: Akiko set up again by Rash...sends her to the ropes--tilt a whirl--NO...lands behind...high kick to the back of the head by Akiko...spins him around...to the midsection--chest--sends him to the ropes--Akiko off the far ropes--SPINNING HEEL KICK!! Rash slowly back up--Akiko with a kick to the midsection...set up--LYGERBOMB!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!!

Paul: And NO!..Rash up and whipped to the corner...Akiko charging in--leg caught by Akiko--misses the Enzui Giri...and...set up...ankle lock applied--and...removing the boot?

Megan: And...Rash...tickling Akiko?

Paul: ....it that the wrong Mikey under that symbiote suit?

Megan: I don't think so, since he certainly has been wrestling like Rash...picking up speed with...the tickling--and it's affecting Akiko somewhat--but reaching for--and getting the ropes...vaulting up and OVER the top rope, freeing herself from Rash's grasp...up on the apron--SPRINGBOARD SPINNING HEEL KICK!! And Rash and the referee tumbling to the outside!!

Paul: She made Rash hit the referee..FINE!! FINE!! FINE!!

Megan: Rash sneakily grabbing the Triple Crown Title...Rash going for the shot with the belt--DUCKED...Akiko slipping between the legs of Rash--UPPERCUT EYE POKE...grabbing the title belt...NAILS RASH WITH IT...and tossing it out of the ring...questionable tactics there. Getting ready for the Divine Wind Kick...Rash getting up...RASH WEBBING the leg of Akiko...reeling her in...SYMBIOTE SLAM!!

Paul: This is it!!...Wait, no, Rash picking up Akiko--FINAL BITE!!! FINAL BITE!!

Megan: And this...rather disturbing submission move rarely used by Rash...and Akiko trapped nearly up to her wrists...leaning back...and hooking her leg on the second rope...the referee back in and calling for a break...

Paul: Rash going absolutely wild here...

Megan: 3...4...5...*ding, ding* And the referee calling for the bell!! Rash spitting out Akiko--SYMBIOTE SLAM on the referee...and...Akiko winning the match...but not like she wanted.

Capetta: The winner of this match, by Disqualification...AKIKO NAAAAAKANO...but still EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion...Rash!!!

"Here Comes the Pain" by Slayer cues up as Rash rolls out of the ring.

Megan: The crowd on Rash's case here as he leaves the ring to head to the back, with the Triple Crown Title...

Paul: Hmph...he should have gotten the win...she wasn't about to escape from that.

Megan: Well, we'll be seeing some more of Gen-NEXT after we come back from break. Macho Man and the Hitman....the Nature Boy..and...the Boy of Rage.

Paul: That's LEGEND KILLER...

Megan: In a tag team match...and Paul may just explode.

Paul: *sizzle*

Megan: NEXT!!

**Commercial Break**

Megan: Welcome everyone back to EAW Mayhem...where, in a few moments we'll be seeing a tag team match featuring...

"Superstar" by Saliva cues up...

Paul: YES!! The family Flair against...some other guys.

Capetta: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, from Minneapolis, Minnesota...standing 6'2" and weighing in at 210 pounds...accompanied by Kelly Connelly, the self-proclaimed "Legend Killer," David Flaaaaaaaaair!

Megan: ...Yes...it seemed blood proved thicker than water since Bret Hart has had his troubles with young David.

Paul: And someone YOU have had trouble with...yeesh...what lack of professionalism, fighting with the talent....

Megan: Wha--b--...forget it, I won't even waste my words on you. I just hope she's had enough punishment for this evening, because I've been in a sour mood all night. =P

"Also Sprach Zarathustra" then plays, as portions of the crowd cheer...while others boo...as...

Capetta: And coming down the aisle...from Charlotte, North Carolina...standing 6'1" and weighing in at 240 pounds...the NATURE BOY...RIC....FLAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!

Paul: Legend, genius, proud father...

Megan: Snake in the grass, coward, king of cheapshots...dirtiest player in the game, etc, etc.

Capetta: And...MISS ELIZABETH!!

Paul/Megan: HUH?!

After Ric comes out...then...indeed...Miss Elizabeta herself walks out...in a nifty faux-leather outfit.

Paul: WHOA!...I thought they were just joking...but...they delivered...MISS ELIZABETH IS HERE!! Of course, if ANYONE can deliver, it's Ric Flair--besides, as Ric said, "she was mine before--

Megan: --she was yours." Yeah, Paul, no need to remind us. =P I thought she wouldn't stoop so low, though...and with a pair like these two to deal with the Hitman and Macho Man will have quite a challenge on their hands.

Paul: At least you're willing to give them their props.

Megan: Speaking of props, Kelly shamelessly shaking her funbags out here as father and son stroke each other's egos...and no, I have absolutely NO attraction to Ric Flair.

Paul: As the fans often say..."BUUUUUUUL SH--"

Megan: Have a cookie, Paul. =P

Paul: HEY! I'm on a diet!...Mmm...

Megan: About as plausible as me being attracted to ANY Flairs...

"Pomp and Circumstance" then cues up...

Capetta: And their opponents...introducing first, from Sarasota, Florida...standing 6'1" and weighing in at 230 pounds...the MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHO MAN...RAAAAAAAANDY SAAAAAAVAGE!!

Megan: This will be Savage's FIRST match in an EAW ring as a wrestler. Savage still looking in great shape...and many of you know of his cameo appearance in the number one movie in the country, Spiderman, as "Bonesaw McGraw," as an...this is a BIT of a stretch...but as a pro-wrestler. ^_^

Paul: And considering most of his face was covered in a big fake beard, I'd like to say that he NEVER looked better.

Megan: Well, Randy Savage looking rather confused seeing Liz out here.

Paul: I think he's confused a lot these days...

Then, Bret Hart's theme begins to play as Savage waits on the ramp.

Capetta: And HIS partner...from Calgary, Alberta, Canada...he stands 6' and weighs in at 235 pounds. Bret...the HIIIIIIIIIIITMAN...HAAAART!

Megan: The legendary Hitman here as this capacity crowd showing their support for him and Savage.

Paul: "Legendary"...sure. One man's legend is another man's grandpa. David's beaten far superior competition than the whiner here and Hulkster's 2nd banana.

Megan: Not really, although he has beaten a few "legends" decades past their prime...and Hart and Savage getting in to the ring now...

Paul: The Flairs planning stragety.

Megan: Or just what cheap moves they'll pull off first, at least. It seems Ric Flair is going to start first...and the Hitman and the Nature Boy set to start us off...

Megan: The Hitman and the Nature Boy coming out swinging...a long history here, as Hart's first WWF World Title win came at the expense of, in fact, Ric Flair, in Saskatoon in October of '92. Flair sends Hart to the ropes--BACK BODY DROP sends him down. Hard up in a hurry, DROPKICK by Flair, sends him down. Pick up by Flair...

"WHOOO!!...WHOOO!!...WHOOOO!!"

Paul: Knife-edged chops against the chest of Hart. Sends him towards the ropes--drops down--stops short--DRIVING elbow to the back of Flair! Liz and Kelly looking on with concern, as I look on with unclean thoughts...

Megan: At least you're not looking at me..for now. Hart pulling up Flair--INVERTED ATOMIC DROP on Ric Flair, headbutt by Hart...and...CLOTHESLINE off the ropes. Goes to pick him u--NO--roll through by Flair!

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ONE!--Kickout in a hurry. Flair up--THUMB TO THE EYE as the referee is behind Hart...Flair going for a suplex--blocked by Hart--HEADBUTT by Hart...another...ANOTHER one...and sending Flair to the ropes--off the ropes--FLYING FOREARM sends Flair down!! Hart drops the knee into the lower back. Deathlock variation set up by Hart...Hart working on the upper thigh area and lower back...shots to the kidneys...picking him up by the ankle--SLAMS them into the mat. And Hart not exactly as predictable as Ric though...although coming from someone who hasn't had much good luck against Hart...

Paul: Well, we all have our off nights. Hart picking up the Nature Boy...sending him into the corner--FLAIR FLIPPING OVER and nearly over the top rope--Bret heading in--UP AND CLOTHESLINE on Hart catches him by surprise--DROPS Hart throat-first across the ropes...Flair in now--kneedrop to the forehead, and another...Hart getting up--Flair against the ropes--CLIPS THE KNEE with a chopblock!!

Megan: And a move that would get a football player a penalty is completely legitimate here...TAG made to David Flair, and the younger and elder Flair stomping on the knee as Ric lays it across the bottom rope...VERY Hitman-esque, in fact.

Paul: The Legend Killer grabbing the top rope--leaps up and SLAMS all his body weight across the knee, cleverly taking a page right out of the book of the Hitman. The focus clearly being the legs of Bret Hart, and a leglace applied by David Flair!

Megan: Keeping it locked o--oh, but David Flair shoving Bret underneath the apron...and...shades of Arn Anderson here--CATAPULT--while snapping Bret's throat underneath the bottom rope! David now...going for the tag?

Paul: Well, quick tags are a wise way to win.

Megan: No...no tag, going over to taunt Savage...unwise to pick a fight with the Macho M--ELIZABETH CHOKING Hart with that strap of that purse...now acting like nothing happened, as the referee was distracted. And NOW he goes for the tag to his father...and the dirty tricks keep on coming...as the Nature Boy comes in, he drags Bret out from underneath the ropes...picks him up by the hair now...more chops by Flair...

"WHOOOO!!!...WHOOOOO!!"

Megan: Blocked by Hart--ELBOW to the side of the head! Hart whips Flair to the ropes...POWERSLAM by the Hitman!

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout!

Paul: Hart pulling up the Nature Boy--knee into the midsection there, and a Double Underhook Suplex by Hart! Hart up...off the ropes--driving elbow into the chest. Back up...of the ropes again--Flair rolls out of the way. Hart back up...Flair going for a kick--blocked by Hart--DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP!! Flair up--DROPKICK to the knees puts the Nature Boy--tag made to Savage.

Megan: The crowd on fire now--Savage with a clothesline that nearly takes Flair's head off--David in now...Savage with right hands--big haymaker--ducked--clothesline by Dav--ducked--Savage sending him to the ropes, David going for a cross bod--CAUGHT BY SAVAGE...lifting him overhead, and a Press Slam by Savage!

Paul: But Liz up on the apron...and I wouldn't be in swinging distance if I were her...if I were her, though, I'd never leave the hou--

Megan: Blech...enough...Savage distracted...DAVID WITH A LOW BLOW, rolling back out of the ring, roll up by the Nature Boy!

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ONE!

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TWO--Kickout!

Paul: I'll bet Liz wants to choke Savage a bit now...hell, she's got high heels on, and we know how well it worked on Hogan...deck him with that!

Megan: Well, Savage definitely caught by suprise by that one, and Flair looking to capitalize...setting up Savage now...VERTICAL SUPLEX...high up in the air....aaaaaaaaand Savage hits the mat back first on that HUGE suplex! Cover by Ric...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Paul: Ric up...and a tag to the young "Legend Killer" himself, who has been wanting some of Savage ever since he INTERFERED IN HIS MATCH WITH THE HITMAN! Father and son with shots to the lower back...David sends Savage to the ropes...boosting him up--slams him back first on the knee of Ric...cover by David...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Megan: Savage kickout out, however, and David up...wrapping his arm around the ropes--kicking him hard in the elbow...shots to the chest now...going to whip Savage to the corner--he hits it hard. David now...going for chops...

"WHOOOO!!...WHOOOO!!...WHOOOO!!"

...and Savage staggered...setting up Savage now...belly to belly...SUPERPLEX on Savage!! Flair going up top...and...can it be?...a...FROG SPLASH by David!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT?!?!

Paul: Unbelieveable!! The Macho Man kicking out...one second away from victory for the Legend Killer, and David back, picking up Savage by the little bit of hair still on that mutant musclehead of his...and ramming to the corner--tag made to Ric, and Ric in...dual shots to the kidney...sent to the ropes--double cloth--Savage running over both Ric AND David!! David back up--scoop and a SLAM by Savage! Ric up...Savage slugging away on Ric--SENDS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE...and...TAG...TO...THE...HITMAN!!

Megan: Thank you, Mr. Shatner. ^_^ Ric up now...and signalling to Liz...climbing back in now...as David getting back up...set up by Savage--SPIKES David Flair with a piledriver...and Liz up on the apron with that purse--Ric decking him in the back of the head--Liz hopping back down?

Paul: Huh!...and Savage turning around...and I think Liz missed her cue...or took her eye off the shiny ball that is Savage's head...Hitman and Macho Man double teaming Nature Boy with right hands...and..DOUBLE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP!!! Now heading to adjoining top ropes...SAVAGE WITH THE BIG ELBOW!!...and the SHARP INJECTION!! Hook of the leg by the Hitman!

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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THREE!!! And just like 4 years ago...just like nearly 10 years ago...the Hitman has defeated the Nature Boy!! And Liz in, and raising the hands of the winning team.

Paul: THAT JEZEBEL!! THAT TURNCOAT!!

Megan: David pulling his father out of harm's way...and Kelly, Ric, and David leaving now with their tails between their legs.

Bret Hart's theme begins to play as...

Capetta: And the winners of this match...Bret the HIIIIIIIIIITMAN HART, and the MACHO MAN...RAAAAAAANDY SAAAAAAAAVAGE!!

Paul: This disgusts me...this sickens me...this...

Megan: ...is a good time for a commercial break--get back to us for our main event, fans, after these short messages!

*LAST COMMERICAL BREAK! YAY!*

Megan: Welcome back to EAW Mayhem now, and in a few minutes, we'll be getting to our Main Event.

Heyman: And I for one am going to SO enjoy this match. Kirk Angel FINALLY showing everyone that he didn't need Michael White to win the EAW World Title.

Megan: That's probably Kirk's motivation for getting this match, White's motivation is to get some retribution for helping Angel out.

Heyman: Not to mention Angel showing up his jealous sister Erica.

"OUTBREAK" cues up suddenly, and the crowd cheers loudly as this participant makes his way out to the ring.

Capetta: The following Non-Title bout is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first, from San Antonio, Texas, Standing 6' tall and weighing in at 220 pounds…he is the PWF Interdimensional Champion…Michael White!

Megan: And the crowd giving this guy a positive reaction, which he seems to be enjoying.

Heyman: The people don't know real talent when they see it and cheer the crap like him.

Megan: Its because people hate Angel, with just cause, and like White's new attitude.

Heyman: Personally, I believe he was better the way he was acting before.

Megan: Please…White now in the ring, waiting the arrival of…

"Gonna Fly Now" cues up suddenly.

Heyman: Of the greatest PWF and EAW Champion EVER!

Angel walks out of the entryway, both titles around his waist and medals around his neck. He stands there and lets the fireworks go off for his entrance, before making his way to the ring.

Capetta: And his opponent, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in the PWF Dimension, standing 6'2" tall and weighing in at 220 pounds…he is both the PWF Universal Champion and EAW World Heavyweight Champion…Olympic Gold Medalist Kirk…Angel!

Megan: And White not wasting any time for this match, attacking Angel on the ramp-way!

Heyman: What the hell is White's problem? Wait till he gets in the ring, moron!

Megan: Well speaking of the ring, White now taking Angel to the ring…slams his head into it, and now rolls him in, and we're officially underway now!

Heyman: Leave it to White to be a rule-breaking reject, not even giving Angel a chance to take off his medals.

Megan: Like Angel wouldn't do the same thing. White now sending Angel off the ropes now, but Angel making a U-turn to the outside of the ring.

Heyman: Can you blame him Megan? What audacity by White!

Megan: Well Angel now taking off his two titles and medals, but White now coming out and following the Olympian.

Heyman: But look how smart Angel is…rolling back into the ring so White can't get him until he is ready! White now following Angel it, but gets caught by boots to the back from Angel

Megan: Angel taking advantage of any situation that comes by, no matter how cheep…and now working over the neck of Michael White, apparently trying to weaken it for some reason.

Heyman: And I bet that White didn't expect the champ to go for the neck instead of White's ankle. That's how resourceful Kirk Angel is, and why he is the top star in TWO different companies!

Megan: Well that's just your opinion…and Angel quickly slowing down the pace of the match with a rear chin-lock on White, working away at the neck area of Michael White, but what for?

Heyman: You'll see soon enough, Eko. Suffice to say, whatever Angel has planned it should be good.

Megan: White reaching for the ropes though, Angel trying to keep him away from them though…but is unsuccessful. Angel breaks the hold…almost to when he gets disqualified.

Heyman: Unlike Rash earlier tonight, Kirk isn't about to get himself disqualified by something stupid like that.

Megan: Please…I wouldn't put it past him to get disqualified to get out unscathed.

Heyman: He wouldn't even do that in a title match. Now Angel grabbing the downed Michael White from behind…BEAUTIFUL release German suplex there!

Megan: People, despite what most of you think, Angel IS a good athlete…and is going for a cover on White…

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout!

Heyman: Thought it was over that quickly…though it SHOULD be since White is TOTALLY outclassed here.

Megan: Angel now picking White up to his feet, setting him up for another suple…no! White fighting with elbows…rolling Angel through…ANKLELOCK! But Angel too close to the ropes for White to keep it on.

Heyman: How DARE Michael White use Angel's own submission hold against the Olympian! Angel getting back to his feet now…

Megan: But White ready for this…Shining Wizard to Angel's arrogant head! Cover by White!

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ONE!

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TWO!--Foot on the ropes by Angel.

Heyman: Michael White is delaying the inevitable right now, trying to fight from Angel. White setting up Angel…and now stealing Angel's German Suplex!

Megan: White holding on to the suplex for a bridge…not aware that Angel is in the ropes though. The ref informing White to the fact, and the young Texan a bit upset.

Heyman: But Kirk Angel won't let White cry like the baby he is…as he gets a nice shot right to the breadbasket, working over White well.

Megan: Angel back up to his feet on his own accord now, but White grabbing Angel's head…setting the Olympian up…suplex attempt blocked…roll-up by Angel!

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout!

Heyman: One second away, ONE SECOND AWAY from showing up Michael White once and for all! Angel now back to his feet, as is White.

Megan: Angel grabbing White's arms…Irish whip by Angel, White going off the ropes…clothesline apparently, Angel ducking…White capitalizes…BRAINBUSTER! Another cover…

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout!

Heyman: I hate to admit it, but that move right there rocked my Olympic Hero, and I'm not sure if Angel can get back up to his feet.

Megan: Most likely what White is hoping for…but Michael White picking Angel up now…set up…possibly the Agonizer, but Angel…

Heyman: BEAUTIFUL Northern Lights Suplex by Kirk Angel! The cover!

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ONE!

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TWO!--NO!

Megan: Nice capitalizing on the move there, but not enough to put the Interdimensional Champion away.

Heyman: It's only a matter of time though. White and Angel both slow to get back up from this series of moves here, but Angel the first one up, as to be expected.

Megan: But White deciding to take that to his advantage…going in for a low shot on Angel!

Heyman: FOUL! What the hell is the referee thinking, letting Michael White use cheep tricks on Angel like that?

Megan: I'm not sure, but I liked it. White up to his feet now, and gives him a hard plant DDT! Another Cover!

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout!

Heyman: Come on Angel, do it for America! Show this guy why you are the champion!

Megan: White now climbing to the top rope, something we haven't seen from him much…and Moonsault by White! Staying on for the cover now!

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout!

Heyman: Whew that was close. White seems to be frustrated at this.

Megan: White thinking…and deciding to go back up to the tope rope now…waiting for Angel to get back to his feet right now…

Heyman: LOOK AT THAT THOUGH! Angel seeing White and grabs him off the top with a release Belly to Belly Suplex! Brilliant!

Megan: But that move took something out of Angel just then as well. Angel crawling over to the downed White as the referee counts…and gets there now.

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ONE!

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TWO!--Kickout!

Heyman: DAMNIT! Come on Angel…wait, he's taking the straps of his singlet down now…I know what this is!

Megan: White getting to his feet, and Angel whipping him into the ropes…drop toe hold…NO! White grabbing Angel now…AGONIZER!

Heyman: NO! DAMNIT!

Megan: White going for a cover now, this has got to be it!

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ONE!

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TWO!--Wait a damn minute! Karen Angel just put Kirk's foot on the ropes! Where the hell did Karen Angel come from?

Heyman: Who knows and who cares? What devotion shown right there by Kirk Angel's loving wife!

Megan: That "devotion" is outright cheating, and Michael White aware of it now…grabbing Karen…SUPLEXING HER INTO THE RING!

Heyman: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM? THAT'S KIRK ANGEL'S WIFE! SHE HASN'T BEEN TRAINED!

Megan: Michael White apparently not giving a damn right now about how trained Karen is…and setting her up now…

Heyman: No! Not the brainbuster on Karen Angel! Someone stop this…YES! GO KIRK!

Megan: Damnit! Kirk Angel recovered as his wife sorta helped distract Michael White just then from his goal! White getting up…and…

Heyman: CROSSFACE CHICKENWING! Kirk Angel has that Crossface Chickenwing locked in hard on Michael White right now…and wraps the legs around White's waist!

Megan: THIS is why Angel was working the neck of White early on in this match…to set him up for this particular hold.

Heyman: And watch now as Michael Connelly gets a preview of what will happen to him at No Escape!

Megan: The referee checking on Michael White…the hand goes down once…again now…and…

Heyman: Once more! Michael White is out cold!

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner by Knock-out…the PWF Universal and EAW World Heavyweight Champion…Kirk…Angel!

Megan: A sickening way of ending what otherwise was a great and impressive match…and now look at Karen Angel embracing her husband.

Heyman: This night, though ugly for most of what happened, has ended on a VERY high note! Go Angel, lead the way for EAW's future!

Megan: Well in any event, we're out of time now. For Paul Heyman and Joey Styles, I'm Megan Eko…see you!