Live from the Heart O' Texas Coliseum in Waco, TX!!

Lilith: No kidding! J.C. Stone and Neijessa have BOTH left the EAW! Apparently this is because of the breaking news that Neijessa's really an angel! Don't see why that should be a factor... I mean, I'm a demoness! You can't have Hell without Heaven, y'know.

Megan: Well, we got a huge night tonight, so let's kick it off with an Extreme Rules match!! Crucifix is already in the ring... and here comes his opponent!

"Last Resort" plays, and Test makes his way down to the ring with a bag full of weapons. His ladies, for understandable reasons, don't accompany him to ringside.

Lilith: Agh! *covers her ears* TEST THIS IS A TEST TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST JERICHO WANG DANG WITH A CODPIECE! JERICHO WANG DANG WITH A TOO SWEET!

Megan: ... Jericho wang dang with a... the lyrics change for you every time do they?

Lilith: CHRIS JERICHO WITH A CODPIECE! JERICHO WANG DANG WITH A CODPIECE

Test reaches the ring, then throws the bag in and climbs in himself. Immediately Crucifix charges in to attack Test. Referee Tim White calls for the bell.

Megan: Crucifix with a spin kick... no, Test dodges! OHH, BOOT TO THE FACE!! CRUCIFIX GOES OVER THE TOPE ROPE!! Test grabs a chain from the bag and wraps it around his fist and goes after Crucifix! He's pounding at Crucifix with that steel chain!! They're fighting up into the backstage area!! Someone get a camera back there!!

Test is seen fighting with Crucifix. Crucifix is trying to defend himself but it seems he's just being dominated against Test.

Megan: Test is destroying Crucifix!! This is unbelievable!! WHOA!! TEST JUST WHIPPED CRUCIFIX INTO THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM!!!

Lilith: AIEE!! MEN IN FORBIDDEN TERRITORY!! So lucky! I wish I was in there right now!

Megan: You're female, Lilith.

Lilith: Oh, sure. Now I'm female. Just wait till ya see my incubus form. ^.^ Aura of Smooth, babee!

Megan: ... Right... well, here's where Ayane as referee would could in handy right now... OH, TEST JUST KNOCKED CRUCIFIX OUT OF THE BATHROOM! CRUCIFIX IS BUSTED OPEN! And... it looks like they're headed towards the balcony! Test knees Crucifix in the gut... oh, no... Test wouldn't... HE WOULDN'T DARE!!

Lilith: Oh, he'll dare! LOOK OUT BELOW!!!

Megan: POWERBOMB OFF THE BALCONY!!!!! RIGHT INTO THOSE TABLES!!! MY GOD!!! CRUCIFIX... CRUCIFIX BE BROKEN IN HALF!! And Test isn't done!! He goes up... FLYING ELBOW!!! TEST PUTTING HIS BODY ON THE LINE!!! It's acedemic! One! Two! Three!! Wow!!

Lilith: Wow? Try Wow Cubed!! Test is awesome! Now if he'd just use "This Is A Test" like a sane man!

Winner: Test

Megan: Well, we have to take a commercial break! We'll be right back! Bill West and Rebecca Mack will be taking over for the next two matches...

Lilith: YAYYY!! That leaves just enough time for you and me to get a bloody good shag in before we have to come our here again!!

Megan: Don't count on it...

**Commercials**

Bill: Hey, folks.. I'm the returning Bill West with my co-host Rebecca Mack, bringing two exciting matches of EAW action. Let's get to Nash versues Regal!

"William Regal's Theme" cues as William Regal comes out to the ring, waving to the crowd, but getting massive boos. Suddenly, Kevin Nash runs down the ramp, and clotheslines Regal in the back, getting a massive pop from the crowd.

Rebecca: Big Sexy just got an early start on this match, and Nash tosses Regal into the ring, and this match has offically begun!

Bill: Nash enters the ring after Regal, and stalking him. Regal trapped in the corner, and is begging off to Nash. Nash not falling for it, but Regal with a shot to the potbelly of Nash! Regal grabs Nash by the front of his tights, and throws him shoulder-first into the turnbuckle! Regal now to his feet, and a neckbreaker. Regal going for the p! in.. . . . Not even a one count! Nash gets to his feet, and throws Regal into the ropes.. FLAPJACK!! Nash pulling Regal to his feet, but Regal stomps on Nash's foot. Interesting move.. DDT BY REGAL! Regal not done yet as he waits for Nash to get to his feet, Regal bounces off of the ropes, caught by Nash!

Rebecca: I wonder what it feels like to be in those big arms of Nash.. mmmmm...

Bill: And, I don't.. anyways Nash lifting Regal up.. SNAKEEYES!! Cover! . . . . One! . . . Two! Regal kicks out!

Rebecca: Nash looks like he's about to end it here.. Nash whips Regal to the ropes... BIG BOOT!! You know what comes after that..

Bill: Nash setting him up... looks like it.. one powerbomb.. SHARPSHOT!! . . . One! . . . Two! . . . Thr--WAIT!! There's Blueboy and Kanyon!! Three!! Nash has won, and is quickly getting the hell out of dodge.

Winner by pinfall >>> "The Hunter" Kevin Nash

Bill: Regal may have lost, but the fight is still going on in the ring! Kanyon and Blueboy picking Regal up.. tossing him to the ropes.. DOUBLE KANYON CUTTER!! Kanyon pounding on Regal as Blueboy goes out and grabs.. A TABLE! Blueboy sets it up on the outside of the ring, and Blueboy gets in the ring. Blueboy picks up the downed Regal.. SNAPKICK DDT!!

Rebecca: Blueboy and Kanyon now placing Regal in the corner...

Bill: My Gawd!! A DOUBLE FLATLINER OUT OF THE CORNER THROUGH A TABLE!! Blueboy has requested a mic, and receieves one.

Blueboy: REGAL...AFTER WHAT YOUR BROTHER DID TO MY GIRLFRIEND ON SHOWDOWN, YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE. AT NO ESCAPE, THIS WON'T BE JUST ANY OLD MATCH. THIS...IS PERSONAL.

Bill: Wow, harsh words from Blueboy as he drops the mic.. and picks up Regal once more.. BLUEBOMER DRIVER!!

"My Way" cues up as Blueboy and Kanyon leaves the downed and hurt Regal.

**Commercial Break**

Bill: We're back from our commercial break, and it's time to begin our Extreme Title match, where Derek Walker will face Duke "The Dumpster" Drosse!

Rebecca: That's right, Billy Boy.. and here comes the challenger for the Extreme Title now.

With that, "Trash" by Korn hits and Duke "The Dumpster" Drosse comes down with trashcans, and some chairs. Duke quickly makes his way to the ring, and awaits the arrival of the Extreme Champion. "Travel Theme(To Crystalis)" hits and the Extreme Champion, Derek Walker, walks out to a big pop from the crowd. Derek looks ready as shi enters the ring.

Bill: This match has begun, as the bell has rang, and we're off! Duke with a trashcan to the breadbasket of Derek. Starting early with the weapons, Duke is, and Derek taking those shots!

Rebecca: Derek has already lost the People's Title to Chris Jericho, and if shi keeps up like this, shi'll lose the Extreme Title too. Oh wait.. there's Derek with a dropkick to the chest of Duke, a! nd Derek now picks up that trashcan that Duke just previously had..

Bill: BAM! Right on Duke's head! Another! Derek going to the ropes.. WHAM! Right off the ropes, and they gave hir more momentum! Duke is down, and Derek seeing this moment goes to the top rope..

Rebecca: But, look.. Duke is getting to his feet.. FLYING HEAD SCISSORS TAKEDOWN! PIN! . . . One!-- Duke kicked out at a one count. Derek may be good, but shi's going to have to do more than that to keep Dumpster-boy down. Speaking of a dumpster.. having you ever done it by a dumpster? I mean the smell gets to you at first--

Bill: ...

Rebecca: Cat got your tounge? Speaking of cat, poontang is great stuff.. moist, wet.. *sighs*

Bill: Yes! Well, back to the match at hand, Derek is really taking it to Duke now. Derek prompting that trashcan in the corner, and grabbing Duke.. whips him into that garbage can! Derek now has Duke by his hair.. and ramming his head into the trashcan! Derek is really taking it up a notch, tonight. Seems that the lost of the People's Title, have brought out another side of Derek.

Rebecca: Shi claims that Jericho cheated.. well, I have my opinion. Jericho was just being smart, and Derek lost.

Bill: Whatever the case, Derek is taking it to Duke, tonight. Duke whipped to the ropes.. FLYING CLOTHESLINE! Duke just exp! loded from those ring ropes, taking Derek down! Duke now getting a chair, and dropping it on Derek's face. Duke going to the top rope with Derek down.. LEGDROP!! Cover by Duke.. . . . One . . . Two-- the champion kicks out!

Rebecca: Duke just bloodied Derek with that move, and Duke pulling Derek to hir feet. Duke with a releasing Northern Lights Suplex.. WAIT! Derek landed on hir feet! Incredible!

Rebecca: Now, Derek puts Duke down with a neckbreaker! Derek now staddles Duke.. now rapid punches to the head of Duke from the Extreme Champ. Derek picks the challenger up, sends him to the outside. Derek really looking good in this match so far.. just good enough for me to have se--

Bill: Please, Rebecca! The match at hand! Derek is on the apron.. ASAI MOONSAULT TO DUKE! Derek has him! . . . One! . . . Two! . . . Thr--KICKOUT! Duke got out! Derek now sends Duke into those steps.. CRASH! Derek is really fighting hard in this, but you must remember she fighting to keep her Extreme Title.

Rebecca: Speaking of extreme.. do you think Derek does any extreme things at the Castle?

Bill: ... Ummm.. Derek now pulling out a table from the ring, and setting it up! Derek puts Duke on top of that table, and Derek now getting into the ring. Derek rushing on the other side of the ropes.. ROPE FLIP THROUGH THE TABLE!! Derek pins! . . . . One! . . . Two! . . . Three!--

Rebecca: No, Billy, Duke got a shoulder up at the LAST possible second, but he's still in the match. But maybe just barely after that move! Duke slowly getting to his feet, and Derek is almost back to hir full vertical base. Derek waiting for Duke to get up.. measuring him..

Bill: ENDLESS HUNGER!! ENDLESS HUNGER!! Duke is locked in.. DUKE SUBMITS! Derek wins!

Winner by submission and STILL EAW Extreme Champion >>> Derek Walker

"Travel Time(To Crystalis)" cues up once more as Derek gets hir hand raised in victory, takes hir title, and heads to the back.

Bill: We'll be back folks, after our commercial break!

**Commercials**

We come back from commercial break as "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails is beginning to play.

Eko: Welcome back fans! We're just about to see a tag team match pitting the 'Lovehandles' against Lupe and T-Bone!

Lilith: Two cute couples tagging up here, Megsies!

Eko: One cute couple and one physically repulsive one, rather.

Viscera and Big Momma Lay Ya walk out onto the stage, and are announced as having a combined weight of...1,009 lbs!!

Lilith: You kidding? Big Momma's more cushion for the pushin'! Viscera's buttons pop, his buckles break but he's TOO MUCH MAN...for you to take..

Eko: The pavement cracks when he falls down, he has more chins than Chinatown...I know the song, Lilith.

Lilith: Maybe he has just as much "Dong?"

Eko: ...

Well, haven't you ever wondered what keeps Big Momma stickin' around? It can't be because of the intelligent conversations I tell ya...he's GOTTA be packing. He's just god a roof over his equipment.

Eko: I'm feeling a bit nauseous, Lilith...

Lilith: Oh, relax. It wouldn't be very sexy for you to barf right here. Although you'd be no less sexy too me. ^_^

Eko: Thanks...that's very comforting....Viscera and Big Momma getting into the ring now...that ring is hopefully reinforced.

Lilith: Oh...and remember, Viscera's black, too! So a STRONG possibility there...

Eko: Lilith, I REALLY do NOT want to think about Viscera's penis! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!

Lilith: *snickers* Yes! Whatever you say!

"Closer" fades out and "War" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony cues up. T-Bone walks out onto the stage to a respectable pop for a returning wrestler...

Lilith: The FATHER of Lupe's new litter!! Victor of many a jobber squash...and I GUAR-AN-DAMN-TEE he likes it...

Eko: *puts hand over face* Please...don't...

Lilith: *hops onto table* DAH-GGY-STYYYYYYYYY-UUUULLL!!!

Eko: Lovely...

Lilith: Come on, Megsie...you mean to tell me you can have yiffiness abounding out here and not be getting totally hot yourself?

Eko: I'm not into beastiality, Lilith.

Lilith: Well, it's not REALLY beastiality. But what's wrong with beastiality?

Eko: .... *is shocked*

Lilith: Hmph. A little stuck up tonight...

T-Bone is about halfway down the ramp when his theme music fades out and "Return to Innocence" by Enigma begins to play in its place. He turns around and waits for Lupe to begin to walk out from the stage, and meets T-Bone halfway. They exchange a kiss then walk arm-in-arm down to the ring.

Lilith: Awwww....isn't that cute...

Eko: Well...I suppose.

Lilith: I'm a little jealous of T-Bone...gonna get some tail tonight I betcha. Lupe's gonna be sucking on T's bone, the hedgehoggess is gonna get porked...

Eko: I think we all get the idea Lilith...so let's stop short before you get anymore explicit.

Lilith: *goes into Cornholio voice* Are-you-censoring-me?

Lupe and T-Bone climb into the ring, not taking their eyes off of Viscera and Big Momma...

Eko: Not another lame impression...

Lilith: I-AM-THE-GREAT-CORNHOLIO! I NEED A PEEPEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!

Eko: Isn't it "TP?"

Lilith: No, I MEANT what I SAID!!

Eko: ANYHOW...this match is about to get underway. And Ayane....quit complaining about Pam...at least you don't have to work with THIS!

Lilith: Hee-hee...

*ding, ding*

Lilith: I wonder who's bigger...

Eko: Well...Viscera's much taller and heavier than T-Bone...

Lilith: Oh, you KNOW what I mean!

Eko: Don't care...Viscera and T-Bone starting things off with a center of the ring brawl...exchanging rights...T-Bone going for an irish whip on Viscera. Viscera reverses and sends T-Bone to the ropes....BACK BODY DROP on the return! T-Bone gets up...right into the clutches of Viscera who holds him up by his throat now! T-Bone struggling and kicking now....heatbutt from T-Bone allows him to break free! T-Bone hits the ropes...comes flying towards Viscera....BIG BOOT COUNTER!! Amazing he could get his foot up that high.

Lilith: Speaking of which...why don't you put your feet up on this desk, Meg?

Eko: Because, you'll try to lick them.

Lilith: Yeah...so...PUT THEM UP THERE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE!! I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND!! I WON'T ASK YOU AGAIN FOR ANOTHER WHOLE WEEK!!

Eko: Viscera drops a pair of elbows--*sigh*...in that case, I'll think about it...

Lilith: YAAAAY!!

Eko: I've thought about it, the answer's NO! Viscera pulling up T-Bone now...now scooping him up...T-Bone blocks! Elbow into the massive gut of Viscera! Another...T-Bone ducks between Viscera's legs...Viscera bends over trying to get him--T-BONE DROPS HIM IN THE FACE!! Visc stagging...T-Bone jumping onto the back of Viscera! Hammering away on that thick skull!

Lilith: Hehheheh...you said "hammering" and "skull."

Eko: Viscera in a bad way as T-Bone tries to choke him now....T-Bone lets go, tags in Lupe! Lupe climbing in now....both of them Irish Whip the 500-pounder! Viscera into the ropes....Viscera caught by the both of them...BOSSMAN SLAM!! INCREDIBLE!! Lupe goes for the cover on Viscera

.

.

.

ONE!!--Kickout!

Lilith: I wonder if ol' Visc is staying true to Big Momma? I mean, that's a lot of man for just one woman, even if it is Big Momma Lay Ya.

Eko: I don't think there's another woman here....well, besides you...who'd have him.

Lilith: You don't know that!

Eko: Lupe pulling up Viscera...knees him into the midsection....another one...whips Viscera into the corner now! Lupe charging in...POUCHES on Viscera with a corner splash!! Viscera a bit dazed coming out of the corner now...Lupe quickly up to the top rope....coming off now...Viscera turning around....FLYING SWINGIN--NO!! Viscera with enough presence of mind to hang onto Lupe...CHARGES INTO THE CORNER!! Lupe rammed back-first into the top turnbuckle pad!! Viscera tagging in Big Momma Lay Ya!!

Lilith: And just like the other three participants in this match, I'll bed she'd love to get some nookie from Lupe, too!

Eko: Big Momma being set up by Viscera....and...IRISH WHIPS HER INTO THE CORNER!!...FLYING BUTT SLAM in the corner from Big Momma!! Now Viscera charging in....BIG CORNER SPLASH by VISCERA!!

Lilith: YEESH...after that any normal person's bones would break like a cheap condom.

Eko: Lupe does indeed look like that took a lot out of her...she staggers out of the corner....FLOPS ONTO THE MAT!! She may be completely out of it, Lilith.

Lilith: Speaking of which...have you ever been banged so hard you passed out?

Eko: Uhh...can't say that I have..

Lilith: Banged WHILE passed out?

Eko: Ughhh..don't think so...Viscera climbing out to the apron....Lupe up to one knee...Big Momma pounding those doughy fists onto her back. Pulls the she-wolf up to her feet....HARD chop across the chest....another...sends Lupe into the ropes...Lupe on the return...Pancake coming up--NO!! Lupe catches her between her legs and takes her over sloooooooooowly with a hurracanrana!!

Lilith: That's new, I'd expect LUPE to be the one sniffing someone's crotch.

Eko: Lupe climbing up top now....HOWLING MOONSAULT onto Big Momma Lay Ya!! One! TWO!!--Kickout! Lay Ya just won't stay down....Lupe going into an armwringer...gets to her corner...tags in T-Bone! T-Bone the stronger of the two, although no disrespect to Lupe. T-Bone with some jabs and quick kicks while Lupe holds her into position for her husband-to-be. Now both of them...no....they can't be trying to do this...

Lilith: WANNA BET?! I bet you a tongue bath they can!

Eko: Lupe and T-Bone going for a suplex...having difficulty...DRIVE HER DOWN WITH A DOUBLE DDT!! Lupe climbing outside as T-Bone makes the cover...

One!

.

.

.

TWO!!

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.

THR--Viscera saves her!! Viscera pulling T-Bone off of Big Momma Lay Ya.....

Lilith: BIG MOMMA's *BLEEP* ARE BELONG TO VISC!!

Eko: The Artist Formerly Known as Mable with some surprisingly quick jabs on T-Bone....sends him to the ropes....Big Momma and Visc join hands...CLOTHESLINE T-BONE!!

Lilith: Uh oh...Viscera climbs onto the apron, now gets the legal tag from Big Momma....climbing in now...RUNNING LEGDROP onto T-Bone! That thigh is like a tree trunk coming down onto your neck. A really flabby tree...but..

Lilith: Quit hatin' on the large ladies and gentlemen!!

Eko: Sorry...but it's TOO tempting...

Lilith: Now you know what it is like sitting here next to you. ^_^

Eko: Viscera pulling up T-Bone now...you have to give T-Bone and Lupe credit for sustaining the damage they have so far...and...SUPLEX by Viscera!! An elementary move, but I'm STILL rather surprised to see it coming from him. Viscera back up now rather quickly....laying in some boots to T-Bone....who rolls to the outside....Viscera coming after him...T-Bone trips him up..and Viscera l lands on his ample behind!

Lilith: "Behind?" Did they plant a V-chip in you, Meg? Or has Mikey been up to mischief and put something else in you?

Eko: "No" on both counts...T-Bone ramming the back of Viscera's leg onto the apron! And again!! T-Bone now climbing in again, pulling up the massive Viscera but somehow seems to be having his way with him as of now. Fires Viscera into the ropes....hits the near ones...coming at him with a clothesline. HITS IT...BUT NO EFFECT!! The sheer girth of Viscera prevented it. T-Bone now hits the ropes again...clothes--NO, FAKE OUT!! Ducks between the legs of Viscera..sets him up..REVERSE DDT!!! Hits the ropes again....JUMPING ELBOW DROP!!! Viscera in dire distress here...T-Bone picking him up again...setting him up now...I don't know if he can...I don't THINK he can...

Lilith: He....CAN!!?

Eko: RAGNAROCK by T-Bone!! Cover!! One!!

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TWO!!

Lilith: Uh oh...Big Momma upstairs!!

.

.

Eko: T-Bone rolls off and Big Momma Lay Ya splashes on top of Viscera!! T-Bone jumps up on top of her!!

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ONE!

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TWO!!!

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THREE!!

Eko: Big Momma manages to roll off, but not in time!! T-Bone and Lupe win this match!!

Lilith: Big Momma kinda cost them this match, didn't she?

Eko: Perhaps...could that relationship be on the rocks?

Winners via Pinfall >>> Lupe and T-Bone of Red Tooth and Claw

"War" cues up as the referee holds up the winners' hands.

Eko: I think the next step for these two would be to pick a theme for tagging up.

Lilith: And Lupe is going to have...PUPPIES!!

Eko: I believe newborn wolves are called "cubs"...and that ISN'T CONFIRMED, Lilith.

Lilith: I know...I just love to say...PUPPIES!!

Eko: *sigh* Anyhow, when we come back a rather unusual main event is set to kick off...

Lilith: There'll be kicking, and wrestling, and a barefoot Tifa!! WHOOOO!!! My bro's a lucky sonnuva....

Eko: NEXT!!

**Commercial Break**

The setting: A cramped, dark office, typical of a detective or cop show, like NYPD Blue. The blinds have been closed so that only thin slits of moonlight reach their way in, providing a little extra light other than the desklamp. Sitting behind the desk in the office is Steven Richards and Ivory, the light set so that their faces have sharp contrasts of light and shadow...

...casting a cheesily overdramatic feel to the scene.

In front of the desk is a chair, which Steven beckons the Masked Crusader of Morality (That's RTC Man, to those of you that couldn't tell) to sit in.

RTC Man: Steven...we're making some progress. It seems that due to one reason or another, Blink has dropped out of sight, and more importantly from Neo D-X. One less problem to worry about...

Steven: Yes... With Blink's disappearance, it's just one less enemy to our mission. There are still, however, quite a few members of Neo D-X to contend with, such as Tifa, Velocity, and of course... Eighteen, that worthless piece of buxom scrap metal. I know you still have a lot of bad blood with her, and all, and I'm sure you want to teach her a lesson, with your full power. Am I right?

RTC Man: Correct. Buxom or not, she's a hindrance to our cause, and her being an android, I feel I can eliminate her with a clear conscience. You also have forgotten about their latest member, the demoness. Whose very appearance leaves little doubt at what Neo D-X is all about.

Ivory: You mean Lilith..? Heh! I think I could handle her, quite easily, and I'll break those little wings of hers, and give her a few tips on how to be fashionably tasteful. That little getup of hers makes her look like a bigger tramp than she really is-- Or, it adds more to her trampiness...

RTC Man: No...you seem to have forgotten about Ainako. That's who I'm referring to.

Ivory: Ah, her... Feh, she's not a challenge, either. I'll break her to morally defiant shreds, too.

Steven: At any rate... There's a pay-per-view coming up soon. Seeing as how you hate Eighteen, as we all do, I think it would be fair to give her some punishment, as a martyr for the rest of those foolish Neo D-X girls, courtesy of yourself, no? After all, even though she is a girl, albeit a fake, factory-made one, she is still a threat to our mission. It would only be right to use the strongest member of Neo D-X's defeat to crush all their morale... Once the best fighter is out of the way, we won't have to worry anymore...

RTC Man: *half smiles...although it isn't visible due to the helmet* Correct. With no Eighteen, they'll be at a severe disadvantage. And without Blink, they're more or less done. However, until then, we have already begun to tip the scales into our favor. The new FCC regulations will help keep degenerates such as Howard Stern in line, and we have a brand new addition to our elite group...

Steven: *smirks a little* Yes, the cause lives on and becomes stronger. And yes, there's a new member of our illustrious army of morality. I honestly am low on information on him, but he does sound pretty powerful-- Word says he used to Street Fight, and was very good at fighting, too.

RTC Man: Indeed. In every field of sport he enters, he eventually excels at it. However, the sport we play here has a far bigger prize for winning, and a far graver consequence if we lose...

Stepping out from the dark into the dim light, a dark skinned man (who appears to be of mixed ethnicity) in a white shirt, black pants, and suspender and bow tie outfit appears. He is extremely muscular, and has a pair of blue boxing gloves slung over his shoulder. He strokes his mustache momentarily before adding, in a thick British accent...

???: All true...Dudley Clark II, Esquire at the RTC's service. I've been yearning to try my hand at this odd form of sport for quite a while now. While I'm new at it, I've been progressing quite well. However, this trend that has been brought about in "sports entertainment" disturbs me and my countrymen. A once pure competition tainted by poor sport! smanship, vulgarity, and excessive violence. Also...I've been attracted here for another reason. For...the most famous of British wrestlers...

Steven stands up and holds out his hand for Dudley to shake, which he does. Wincing slightly, Steven rubs his hand a little and lowers it afterwards. He listens to Dudley's motives, and looks quite interested in the last one...

Steven: Ahh... So you're here in search of Davey Boy Smith...? * a short pause.* --Oh, wait, that's not the right person you were looking for...

Dudley: Currently...I meant.

Steven: Ahhh...You mean the easily-besmirched Steven Regal, right?

Dudley: Correct, good sir. Your dedication to your cause is undoubtedly deeper than mine. The reason being, of course, than it is your sole reason. While I'm appaled at the state of the American wrestling product, as I can view it from home, but I also am here to settle a score with Mr. Regal. You see...besides him and his companions being morally reprehensible themselves, he himself is a threefold mockery...a mockery to the sport--and trust me, that's hard to do when a clown, a man in a turkey suit, and a public sanitation worker have been a part of it. He's also mockery to the title "Gentleman," and mockery to my country.

Steven: I don't blame you for being disgusted by him-- A lot of the things he does are offensive, and it must be even more offensive to you, since he is supposed to represent Great Britain. I'll see to it that you get justice against that foolish man.

Dudley: Thank you, good sir. In return for your help, I'll gladly aid you and your fellow members in any way I can. Granted, if you'll help me perfect my "wrestling" ability. I'm nearly unmatched in pure fisticuffs, but most of my wrestling ability is that of the purest form...not this modern Luche Libre hybrid and other queer styles.

Steven: I'd be more than happy to help you become ! better. Though, I'm more than sure Regal will fall to pure fisticuffs rather easily-- He looks to be the type with a glass jaw, so to speak.

Dudley: Actually, you'd be quite surprised to know that Steven...or rather William--I'll use William as to not "besmirch" your name--has quite a feared reputation in boxing and shooting competition. It truly belies his physique, much like Mr. Finlay.

Steven: He could have fooled me.. That's quite a shock.

Dudley: Underestimating him...or any opponent, is a grave mistake. I'd be glad to challenge him on his on terms, though. However, if this company decides to begin anew the "Brawl for All" competitions, that would certainly be a niche I'd fit into quite nicely...not to be anything less than modest.

Dudley shakes RTC Man's hand, Ivory's and then Steven's.

Dudley: Good sir..m'lady...and you sir...thank you for making my stay here in the states as confortable as possible. I'm in the mood for a bit of late night sparring...so I bid you goodnight!

Smiling, Ivory shakes Dudley's hand, and Steven shakes his hand once more before Dudley pulls the gloves off his shoulders, and slides them on as he starts towards the toward

Steven: It was nice meeting you, sir, and I wish you the best of luck in your battles in EAW. We will always be watching your back, to help you at all times. See you soon.

Ivory: Goodbye, Mr. Clark...

We fade to black as the other three RTC members smile deviously... As the screen fades out, there's the sound of Steven Richards in the background, saying, "Can you turn the lights back on in here, RTC Man? I'm getting a headache without them."

Scene switch to Pamela Paulshock, who is with Blink! Blink's in blue jean cut-offs, high-tops, and an official Blink comic T-shirt and she looks a little solemn.

Pamela: I'm here with the field leader of Neo D-X right now! Blink, you've seen what Right To Censor has to offer! What is your response?

Blink just looks at Pamela... and sighs softly.

Blink: Does it make any difference, Pam? See, what no one knows is that a couple of days ago Neo D-X folded. It's gone. It doesn't exist any more. Velocity's left the EAW. Tifa? This is probably her last match and she's gonna go back to her bar. Ainako's sticking around and Eighteen? I don't know where she went off to. But did RTC win?

Blink shakes her head.

Blink: No. They didn't. They didn't cause this. I did. I disbanded Neo D-X and sent everyone off to let them do their own things. Which is what I'm going to do. Which is Vel, Ainako, Tifa, and Eighteen're gonna do. And that's be themselves. RTC? Make no mistake. This isn't over. Neo D-X may be gone, but we're still tight. And we'll bring you guys down.

Blink looks to Pamela, who looks surprised... sighs... then with a *BLINK!* vanishes from sight.

Back to the ring... and Lilith looks absolutely shocked.

Lilith: O_O!! N... Neo D-X is gone?!! Geez...!! How the hell...? I didn't know Austin's heel turn'd affect Blink THIS much!!

Megan: It's shocking to say the least, folks... and we've had quite a night tonight so far! But now it's time for our main event!

"Walk On Water" cues up, and Lilith immediately perks up.

Lilith: TIFA!!! PUPPIES!! PEDDIES!! BOOTIES!! YIPPIES!!

Megan: It doesn't take much, does it?

Lilith: Nope! ^_^

And out comes Tifa, in the shin/kneeguards that otherwise make her barefoot, along with the short leather shorts, gloves, white tank top, and a black denim vest. She waves to the fans, rolling into the ring and getting up to one knee, adjusting her gloves as she looks to the stage... and "Engel" cues up.

Lilith: SHAED!! YEAAHHH!!! GO SHAED GO!!! WOO-HOO!!

Shaed walks out onto the stage... minus Morrigan for this match, as the immortal fighter walks down the aisle, tugging on his gloves... then jumping into the ring, dropping down to his knees in the corner and staring at Tifa with a smile, no confidence lost from his demeanure.

Lilith: Ohhhh... I'm so torn! Do I cheer for the bootiness that is Tifa? Or do I root for my own brother-in-law?!

Megan: Gee, can't you root for both?

Lilith: ... Sure! Good idea! Let's celebrate with a good ol' fashioned foot rub! Though I can't promise not to such on a toe or three--

Megan: Lilith, how many times must I tell you?! No!

Lilith: As many times as it'll take until you cave in and give yourself to me! ^_^

Megan: ... Ah.

Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell and this match is underway.

Megan: Tie up... oh, Kung-Fu Toss by Tifa, taking Shaed by surprise! Shaed rolls to his feet and charges-- Tifa grabs him and throws him to the corner! Follow-up... BODY BLOWS IN THE CORNER!!

Lilith: ... Uhm... go Shaed...? Go Tifa... Yeah! Go Shaed! Go Tifa!!

Megan: Wait, Shaed pushes Tifa back! Scoop slam! Amazing recooperative powers from Shaed!! Tifa quickly rolls to her feet--

Lilith: SOLE SHOT!!!

Megan: MARTIAL ARTS KICK TO SHAED'S HEAD!! And he's down to one knee! No! He's back up! KUNG-FU TOSS OF HIS OWN!! He follows up with a mounted punch attack to Tifa's skull!

Lilith: He'd better be careful... Austin beat up Lita in a similar way and now he's a monster heel! o.o;

Megan: Shaed gets Tifa up... WAIT, TIFA WITH A KUNG-FU BACK ROLL EVASION TACTIC AND--NO! SHAED COUNTERED IT!!! MULTIPLE KNEE STRIKES!!! Tifa's staggering and... SHAED WITH A KUROHIJITSU KATA!!! SO MANY MIXES OF DIFFERENT FIGHTING STYLES I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO CALL IT!! BUT SHAED ENDS IT WITH A STIFF ROUNDHOUSE KICK THAT SENDS TIFA TOPPLING DOWN!

Lilith: SHE'S TAKEN THE NESTEA PLUNGE™!!

Megan: Shaed gets Tifa up... whips into the ropes... WAIT, TIFA DUCKS A CLOTHESLINE!! SPEAR BY TIFA!! SHE'S COME TO FIGHT TONIGHT, FOLKS!! But SHAED'S UP! HE GRABS TIFA... REVERSE BRAINBUSTER!!! Tifa staggers up... BUT SHAED BRINGS HER DOWN WITH A POWER CLOTHESLINE!! Pick up... SIDE SUPLEX BY SHAED!! SHAED'S ALSO COME TO FIGHT TONIGHT, TOO!!

Lilith: Boy howdy, they're BOTH fightin'!! WAIT! SHAED'S GOT TIFA'S LEG!! HE'S FEELING HER UP!! SO CLOSE TO THAT BEAUTIFUL BARE FOOT, I THINK HE--

Megan: Quit it! DRAGON SCREW LEG DRAG BY SHAED! He doesn't have a foot fetish, Lilith!

Lilith: ... He doesn't?

Megan: Shaed gets Tifa up... set-up for... THE THRUST KICK!! NO! TIFA BLOCKS!! COUNTER! KUNG-FU TOSS!! BUT SHAED LANDS ON HIS FEET!!! CHARGES IN, SLIDES UNDER HER LEGS!! DIVING REVERSE DDT!! AMAZING!! Shaed whips Tifa into the ropes... NO TIFA COUNTERS!! TRIPLE H-STYLE FACEBUSTER! AND A FIST DROP FOR GOOD MEASURE!! Tifa looks like... yes, she's signalling for the Final Heaven!! She waits for Shaed to get up... MOVES IN AND-- NO! COUNTER!! AND... SUDDEN IMPACT!! SUDDEN IMPACT! SUDDEN IMPACT!! COVER! ONE! TWO! THR-NO!! TIFA GETS A SHOULDER UP!! UNBELIEVABLE!!

Lilith: No s*bleep!*t! o_O;;

Megan: Shaed's undaunted though... he whips Tifa into the ropes... TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM!! Shaed gets Tifa up... NO! WATERKICK BY TIFA!! SHAED'S IN THE ROPES!! AND TIFA SETS HIM UP... RUNNING KNEE STRIKE!! And... JIUJITSU THROW BY TIFA!! SHAED'S UP! CLOTHESLINE ATTEMPT DUCKED BY TIFA!! ANOTHER JIUJITSU THROW!! That one had more torque to it!

Lilith: Well, everyone would love to "torque" Tifa, if yaknowhutImean. ~.^

Megan: SHAED'S UP AGAIN! WHIPS TIFA TO THE CORNER!! SILENCE SEIZURE!! WAIT, TIFA'S COUNTERED!! GRABS SHAED! DDT! NO, GUILLOTINE CHOKE!! But Shaed's too close to the ropes!! Tifa breaks the hold! Great ring strategy by Shaed! Tifa gets Shaed up... NO! SPINNING WHEEL KICK AND TIFA IS SENT BACK DOWN AGAIN!! The offense has been all Tifa, but Shaed's hardly tired! I think... yes, Shaed is purposely tiring Tifa out!! Talk about sound strategy!!

Lilith: That's my bro!

Megan: Shaed gets Tifa up to her feet... TIFA PUSHES SHAED BACK! BACK ELBOW ATTACK! SHAED'S DOWN IN THE CORNER! Tifa takes advantage... and THERE'S THE CROSS POWERBOMB!! SHAED ROLLS TO HIS FEET! LOW DROPKICK TO TIFA'S FACE BEFORE SHE COULD REACT!! Shaed picks her up... ANOTHER DIVING REVERSE DDT!! Shaed climbs the top rope!! And... MOONSAULT!!! COVER! ONE! TWO! NO! KICK OUT!! And Shaed is... smiling!! He's enjoying himself in this match, that's for sure!! Shaed gets Tifa up to her feet... Tifa's almost out of it here... NO WAIT!! FACEBUSTER BY TIFA AGAIN!! DESPERATION MOVE BY THE BARMAID FORMERLY FROM NEO D-X!! DOLPHIN BLOW INTO THE CORNER!! MOONSAULT KICK!! BUT SHAED SHRUGS IT OFF AND CLOTHESLINES TIFA!!! My God, what scary power he has! And... SWINGING DDT BY SHAED!!! TIFA'S DOWN AGAIN!! This match is almost over... Shaed picks Tifa up... JIUJITSU THROW BY SHAED! Shaed picks Tifa up... whips to the ropes... SUDDEN IMPACT OFF THE-- NO!! COUNTER!! TIFA FLOATS AROUND AND-- FINAL HEAVEN!!!! FINAL HEAVEN!!! FINAL HEAVEN!! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!! HUGE UPSET ON THIS, TIFA LOCKHEART'S FINAL MATCH!!

Lilith: O_O!! WHOA!!

Winner: Tifa Lockheart

Megan: Tifa looks absolutely exhausted! Compared to Shaed, who hasn't even broken a sweat! Shaed looks as if he's contemplating something... he's asking for a mic! What could be on his mind, Lilith?

Lilith: Beats me... well, we're about to hear it!

Shaed: What an enjoyable contest! I enjoyed the match very much, Tifa! I've indeed learned much... but I feel that my run here in the EAW is just about done. Indeed... I have learned as much from professional wrestling as I can... and I feel it is time for me to take my leave and continue onto my quest for competition elsewhere.

Lilith: O_O!

Megan: He... is he saying he's leaving the EAW?!

Shaed: But before I go... I request one last match... Triple H. The Decadent. Next Mayhem, I request one last match with you... my counterpart in many ways. If you are not completely healed allow my wife to heal you. I want you to be at your best, as I will be... and together we shall perform in a battle for the ages.

Shaed drops the mic, then leaves the ring to head up the aisle.

Megan: This... this is unbelievable!! J.C. Stone and Neijessa have left the EAW, Neo D-X is broken up, and Shaed is retiring from the EAW?!

Lilith: But... what about the Knight Cross? What'll this do to the Knight Cross?!