The fireworks and EAW Mayhem intro begins as we open to a jam-packed Skyreach Center...

Megan: Welcome everyone, LIVE, and we're only 6 days days away from EAW No Escape 2002! Welcome to EAW Mayhem--I'm Megan Eko, along with Paul Heyman on color commentary.

Paul: AND...with is my bodyguard, who I happen to be his agent--BROCK LESNAR!

Brock: GRRRRR!!

Paul: Yes! The indominable...Brock Lesnar! The invulnerable...Brock Lesnar! The invincible...Brock Lesnar!

Brock: *snort*

Megan: The barely verbal...Brock Lesnar!

Paul: He's...kinda shy when it comes to speaking in public. ANYHOW, he's here to watch my back, and keep YOU in line. I'm not about to be sporting a monitor for a hat again.

Megan: If you watched your mouth, you wouldn't need him to watch your back. You KNOW it's been rough for me lately, but you decide to push it...

Paul: Oh, can it already. These fans don't want to hear the babbling of some commentator about her personal problems, they want to see ULTRAVIOLENCE!!

Scene switch to Kaye, as she adjusts her glove, walking down a hallway towards the ring.

Megan: ...which is what we'll get. Up first we have our Extreme title match between Kaye and Arana! Kaye has had a lot of problems lately, but she still looks focused, Paul!

Paul: A lot of problems?! A disobediant child, a psychotic brother, and-- WHOA!!!

Megan: IT'S KANE!!

Paul: Speaking of psychotic brothers--!!

Megan: Kane just walloped Kaye from behind with that... my God, that barbedwire-wrapped steel chair!! Kaye's lacerated badly in the back! But Kane's not done yet! He just pulled that mask off of Kaye! No way... he's not going to--

Paul: OWW! In the words of my former compadre Joey Styles, OMIGOD!!!

Megan: KANE JUST SMACKED KAYE IN THE FACE WITH THAT CHAIR!!! AND AGAIN!! AGAIN!!! MY GOD!! DAMMIT, STOP THIS! YOU'RE GOING TO SCAR HER FOR LIFE!!

Paul: I think that's his intention!!!

Megan: Kaye's out cold now... Kane threw that godawful weapon and... he just... what he saying to Kaye now?!

Kane: Now, Kaye... it'll be just like before. Now, that mask of yours is like mine. YOUR FACE. And in Hell's Asylum... I'll protect Christina... I'll avenge her for all the anguish you caused her all those years ago. You hear me?! It all ends at No Escape, Kaye! It all ends... with a bang.

As Kane gets up and walks away, EMTs and security manage to get to Kaye, checking on her condition...

***

Special promotional commercial for the EAW Goddesses 2002 Magazine, featuring Fasha, Oseiko, Kaye, Sonnette, Morrigan, Arana, and Mighty Molly! ^-^

Megan: We're back, ladies and gentlemen. Kaye had to be rushed to the hospital to be checked for a concussion. The initial report we've got is that Kaye had had multiple lacerations in the back and in the face. So our Kaye/Arana Extreme match is, for the moment, postponed until further notice.

Paul: What a low blow from Kane though... attacking Kaye's most prized possession... her face! Odds are Kaye will be ready for No Escape at least and dish out an extra amount of punishment on Kane in the LAST EVER Hell's Asylum match! No doubt this will harken back to the glory days of ECW as being nothing but EXTREME!!!

Megan: ... Okay. =/ Well, let's get back to the show, shall we?

"DNR" by Testament cues up..

Paul: And now our celebrated tag team champions, FINALLY getting a pair of worthy challengers, will defend their championships tonight, NEXT!!

Megan: Correct, Paul. Although you are one of the few who feel they are actually deserving of those titles.

Brock: Rar...

Capetta: The following match up is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first, from parts unknown, at a combined weight of 555 lbs...the EAW World Tag Team Champions...Spike and Morty, S&M!!!

Boos for the tag team champs as their make their way out. However, they both smile broadly, unusual for them, as they teasingly hold up their title belts.

Megan: Spike and Morty seem to be more jovial than they usually are when making tag title defenses.

Paul: Well, if you were going to be in a match with Molly, and had a penis, then maybe you'd understand.

Megan: Or for that matter, was a walking, talking one.

Brock: *growl*

Megan: Eep...

"Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins then plays...

Paul: And perhaps the only tag team with the POWER to beat S&M is on their way out. Faster than a speeding luchadore, more powerful than Hogan's backstage politicking, up on the stage!...it's a bird, it's a plane, NO...it's the Hurricane!! And not to be outdone, his sidekick...Mighty Molly!

Capetta: Their opponents and challengers...from parts unknown, at a combined weight of "x+191 lbs," the team of The Hurricane and Mighty Molly!After the comey out, they stop at the end of the rampway, and Hurricane takes a microphone out.

Hurricane: S&M...and anyone else that who has a problem with us...there's something that we have planned for you. Stand Back...there's a wrestling Legend coming through!

Paul: Make way for Nikolai--

Mighty Molly: Holy Ring Idols, Hurricane! It's Macho Man Randy Savage!

Megan/Paul: SAVAGE?!?!!

"Pomp and Circumstance" plays as Savage comes out, and will be the guest enforcer for this match.

Megan: Unbelievable!! It seems besides just being Bret Hart's ally, Savage is going to lend a hand to Molly aka the former Miss-Madness-turned-Mona.

Paul: Well, he certainly is a legend in the business, even if his name makes him sound like Mr. Parfect's boyfriend.

Megan: Yeeeeeech...please refrain from EVER mentioning any members of S&M in my presence again. :P

Paul: Sorry. ^_^

*ding, ding*

Megan: Hurricane and Morty to start. Morty starts to brawl with Hurricane, and sends him to the ropes...an attempted spinebuster early on, but Hurricane flips over his back, then back heel kicks Morty to the jaw. Morty back up, and a scoop and a slam from Hurricane. Hurricane then off the near ropes--splash for a cover is blocked as Morty gets the knees up.

Paul: Hurricane now back up, Morty has him by the hair--shots to the face now, and Irish Whi--NO, Short Arm Clothesline! Arrogant cover now...

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ONE!--and Hurricane with the ankle of Morty!! Going for an ANKLEL--NO!! Back kick to the head of Hurricane. Morty up now, and grabbing Hurricane by the arm now...and..dragging him to his corner?!

Megan: Smacks Molly on the hind end there with Hurricane's own hand--I suppose it is legal. And now wrenching on the arm of Hurricane. Molly in now...ON THE BACK of Morty!! Morty drops down with an armbar on Hurricane--Molly wrenches it into a chinlock!! Morty standing up now but not looking an any immediate danger--elbows to Molly, Morty off the ropes, and knee--NO--caught by Molly--and a DRAGON SCREW!?!

Paul: Who said she wasn't full of surprises? Morty back up surprised and..presenting his chin to Molly!

Megan: A way of asserting he can take that--but--HURRICANE takes him up on it instead, and a superkick to the chin of Morty before Hurricane heads back out to the apron!

Paul: Cover by Molly!

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ONE!

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TWO!

Kickout!

Megan: And Morty'd be wise not to be fooling around so much with his TITLES on the line like this...Morty back up, and Molly to the ropes..ducks under the legs of Morty--SHOT to the face there!! Molly from behind now, and REVERSE FACTOR there from Molly!! Back up...to the ropes...somersault LEG DROP across the chest! Cover by Molly...

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ONE!

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Tw--NO!

Paul: Molly has no doubt surprised Morty so far...I'm sure that he isn't going to do anything foolish...

Megan: Morty up...Molly going for an Irish Whip to the corner--back first against to the corner!! And Morty...slides slumped in the corner...and...seems to be making a request to Molly?!

Paul: STINKFACE!! STINKFACE!!...and it looks like Molly will obl--NO!! Stomping away on the chest of Morty instead...backing up now--RUNNING DROPKICK to the face of Morty!!

Megan: And what were you saying about not doing something foolish?

Paul: Well...women do strange things to men.

Megan: Don't count on too many doing any of those things which enough physical contact, Paul. Molly dragging Morty out of the corner...going up top now...

Paul: BANZAI?!

Megan: NO! MOONSAULT on top of Morty!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

KICKOUT! And Spike demanding the tag now...Morty going for it, and Molly trying to prevent that. Picking up Morty now--to the ropes--DDT from Morty!! And Morty MAKES the tag to Spike!

Paul: The other half of the tag team champions in now, and Spike and Morty attempting to stomp a mudhole in poor Molly! But taking abuse is what sidekicks do I guess...

Megan: And Hurricane wants to tag in, but S&M double teaming Molly--to the ropes...and--DOUBLE sidebuster from S&M!! Cover by Spike as Morty heads out--

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ONE!

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TWO!--And Molly kicks out!

Paul: Spike could likely be able to handle the rest of this match on his own, and grabbing Molly by the ankles and....MODIFIED WALLS OF JERICHO!!!

Megan: "Modified Walls..?" That looks like an excuse for him to rub his crotch against her rear. Hurricane seems to think so too...

Paul: Well...I'm sure Wonder Woman felt the itch for a Super Man once in a while. She probably doesn't really mind...at least with Spike she wouldn't have to worry about calling out her old boyfriend's name...

Megan: She doesn't look l--slipping through now--Molly gets to the ropes!! Spike tagging but--knee to the back of the neck!! Hurricane cheering on Molly to get up and make a tag...Molly up and sent to the ropes--back body--NO!! Sunset Flip!! Having a hard time pulling dow--GETS IT!!

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ONE!

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Tw--NO! Kickout by Spike!! Molly against the ropes...Spike catches--spinebu--NO!! Blocked by Molly--knees to the midsection of Spike...off the ropes...GUILLOTINE ACE CRUSHER by Molly!

Paul: Don't you mean Fameass--MMPH!!

Megan: No...that would mean pretending a certain tag team is important. And MOLLY TAGS IN THE HURRICANE!! Hurricane now in...Spike starting to get up now...and Hurricane from behind--RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!! Picking him back up now...and--DUDLEY DEATH DROP ON SPIKE?!?!

Megan: Sure enough--that's what it appears to be, Hurricane stomping away on Spike...now heading up top...Molly to the outside...Spike dazed as he begins to stand up--MISSILE DROP--CAUGHT BY SPIKE?!?!

Paul: WHAT POWER!!! Spike is nearly as strong as Brock is!

Brock: *Shaking Head*

Megan: Spike indeed pressing him overhead with ease...and..POWERSLAM on Hurricane!

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ONE!

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Tw--NO!

Paul: Incredible! And Hurricane kicking out of it just before the two!

Megan: Hurricane pulled up by Spike...Spike sent to to the ropes now--Hurricane off the ropes--LEAPING BACK ELBOW!! Spike down to the mat! Hurricane off the ropes--BULLDOG on Spike! Hurricane onto the top rope now...Spike up now--CROSS BODY from the top!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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...KICKOUT!!

Paul: And the Hurricane taking it to the tag team champions!! Tags in Molly now! Spike dazed as he gets up...Molly with the set up..TWIST OF FATE!! The Hurricane up top--SWANTON BOMB!! Molly covers!!

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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KICKOUT?!

Megan: A combination that won the Hardyz many a match, but didn't manage to put away Spike! The Hurricane picking up Spike...Molly going up top...looking for a Doomsday Dev--Spike hammering on the top of Hurricane's head! Spike sending Hurricane to the ropes--running big boot from Spike!! Hurricane takes a spill to the outside!! Molly hops down from the top rope--Spike eyeing her evilly...Morty begging for a tag...tag made...Spike and Morty coming in now. Spike has her now...bending her over his knee...

Paul: Spike slapping her rear--Molly in a predicament here--Morty up to the second rope--GUILLOTINE LEGDROP...and Hurricane crawling back onto the apron...

Megan: Cover by Morty...

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Molly back up...fired to the ropes--reversal by Mighty Molly--to the ropes...catches Morty--SWINGING DDT!!! Molly back up...Morty up. Molly with kicks to the side of Morty...Molly from behind now--BACK DROP!! And Molly going up top...

Megan: Molly on the top rope!! Morty beginning to get to his feet! DRAGONRANA!--CAUGHT BY MORTY!! Morty setting up Molly now...POWERBOMB--jacknifes over...and...Spike up top...and, the Groin-B-NO!! A HEADBUTT FROM SPIKE!! Directly into Molly's...

Paul: And shades of the Dudley's there...although Spike didn't seem in any rush to remove his head from the area.

That certainly fires up the Hurricane on the apron, who reaches his arm out to demand a tag...

Megan: Molly now trying to crawl to her tag partner, who is reaching out to try to met her halfway--No, Morty yanking her away by the ankles now, and set to lock on...a HALF BOSTON CRAB!!

Paul: And now--a hard SLAP to the posterior of Mighty Molly...

Megan: And disgusting...S&M basically using this match as an excuse to try to grope poor Molly. Morty up now, and has Molly by the ankle--ENZUI--no, spins her around--waistlock..and...nothing...

Paul: A position every man would like to be in on Molly...

Megan: DOUBLE BACK ELBOW from Molly!! Molly off to the ropes--tilt a whirl--and NO!!! Headscissors by Molly!! Spike down to the mat!! Molly up--dropkicks on Morty to the outsi--no, grabbing onto the top rope--but TAG MADE TO HURRICANE!!!

Paul: You can just feel the power surging through this arena. S&M's title reign may be in serious jeopardy!

Megan: Hurricane now assisting Molly--set up a DOOOOOOOOOOUBLE SUPLEX INTO THE RING ON MORTY!! Hurricane pulling up Morty...Molly going up top--and this could be the Superpower Device--NO!! Spike in illegally, attacking Hurricane from behind--Morty flopping onto the top rope--

Paul: MIGHT MOLLY CROTCHED RIGHT ON THE MIGHTY Muu--

Megan: Please don't say it, Paul--and Spike now...SUFFERING'S END on the Hurricane!! And...SUPLEXES Molly on top of Hurricane!!!

Paul: *Noting the position they're in* Even unconscious like that, I'd STILL love to be where Hurricane is right now...

The bell rings due to Spike's illegal entry...

Megan: And Savage in the ring now...slugging away on Spike...Morty picking up Molly again! O_o

Paul: NOVA!! NOVA!!! NOVA IS HERE!!

As he says that, Nova does indeed rush down towards the ringside area. As Morty begins to set up Molly for another powerbomb, he goes up top, and hits a top rope spinning heel kick to the back of his head!!

Megan: And Morty nailed in the back of the head...Nova tossing him over the top...Nova joining Savage now...to the ropes...DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE and Spike is out of the ring!!

Paul: And the fans seem to be eagerly accepting Nova now!

Megan: S&M walking off carrying the tag team titles...they didn't win but kept their titles. :P

Paul: Savage helping our heroes up...and...Hurricane offering his hand to Nova! Could we see a partner--NOVACAINE!! NOVACAINE!! NOVACAINE!!

Megan: So much for that. =P

Megan: And Nova giving Molly a pat on the shoulder as he leaves...I think it's clear what his motivations were doing that...

Paul: I'd go up against S&M for--wait, why the HELL would I?! I could just have Brock do it for me.

Brock: Rrrr?

Megan: R.I.P. Chivalry...we didn't know you well. Stay tuned, everyone, because up next...well...

Paul: GO ON GO ON!!

Megan: We're going to see David make another title defense against a "legend."

Paul: YES!!! I am SO hyped up for it!

Megan: So you, David..a few of his associates--enough to count on a wood shop teacher's hand. Well, stay tuned and HOPEFULLY we'll see David get pummeled...rightafterthis!

**Commercial Break**

As we come back from commercials, the sounds of "Superstar" by Saliva starts playing over the speakers, and to a tremendous amount boos from the crowd comes the MPRW Regional Heritage Champion.

Heyman: YES! A true paragon of excellence is coming out now! What a great way to continue this show!

Brock: (affirmatively) Rargh…

Megan: Great, I'm stuck with two deluded morons. Let's go to Capetta.

Capetta: The following special challenge match, scheduled for one fall, is for the MPRW Regional Heritage Championship. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Kelly Connelly, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 210 pounds…he is the MPRW Regional Heritage Champion…David Flaaaaaaaiiiiir!

Heyman: Not only do we have the greatest MPRW Champion of all time, but the sexiest member of the Connelly family as well!

Megan: Kelly Connelly…if that is her true last name…leading the way for David Flair to the ring…ugh, that girl is deluded.

Heyman: You just say that because you're afraid to face her in one on one action, Megan.

Megan: Yeah right.

Heyman: Then why don't you?

Megan: Because that's what she WANTS.

Heyman: Whatever…Mr. Flair has a mic now!

David looks around in the crowd, and Kelly is trying to get the crowd to stop booing David. She suddenly takes the mic from her boyfriend and speaks.

Kelly: COME ON PEOPLE! How can you NOT see the talent in this ring not only from David, who is the best male wrestler around from MPRW…but myself as well, the best EAW female star?

David takes the mic back from Kelly, trying to calm her down a bit.

David: It's all right babe…don't worry. I mean, considering where we are, the total IQ of every fan in the stands is…about…oh, 112, if I calculate correctly. But nevertheless, it should be easy for even these Edmontonians to understand what I am…a great wrestler and charismatic star.

This gets another negative reaction from the crowd, who start throwing trash at David. David sighs a bit at this, but after a bit puts the mic back up.

David: But anyway, I'm not here to talk about myself…or how I'll decimate and humiliate Bret Hart at No Escape, or even how Morrigan wants to screw over Generation NEXT. No, I'm here to defend my prestigious MPRW Regional Heritage Championship against another legend. So Mr. Capetta…please announce my opponent, if you will.

Capetta: …oh, right. His opponent, from parts unknown, weighing in at 254 pounds….THE ULLLLLLLLLLTIMATE WARRIOR!

Megan: WHAT?

Over the speakers, a familiar rock-like theme from the late 80's/early 90's WWF Cues up, and running out from the entryway as fast as he can is a familiar face-painted "wrestler"

Heyman: UNBELIEVABLE! The Ultimate Warrior is making his EAW debut! And he's shaking the ropes like a madman!

Megan: Ugh…David trying to bring back the 80's here. Well, Warrior in the ring, and David tossing the belt to the ref and helping Kelly out of the ring…and this…"match"…is underway.

Megan: Warrior sizing up David, and catches the young champion as David runs in…modified powerslam by Warrior! Quick cover already…only a 2 count.

Heyman: Warrior knows what it's like to be a champion, and he'll do anything to reclaim that past glory. Warrior going off the ropes now, nice drop toe-hold by David Flair.

Megan: David Flair trying to work over the man with more in-ring experience than him, slamming Warrior's leg against the mat a bit…obviously trying to set him up for the Legendary End.

Heyman: But this may not work against the Warrior…Warrior was the Brock Lesnar of the 80's WWF.

Brock: Mmmm.

Megan: Well Warrior holding his leg a bit, and David now strutting, referee talking to David…and what the?

Heyman: YES! Kelly slapping Warrior right in the mouth!

Megan: But look at this…Warrior sees her…but a knee to the back of Warrior by David. Flair trying to work over Warrior…turns his back on him now…but Warrior grabbing the ropes.

Heyman: DAVID! Watch out…Warrior's getting energy! Warrior charging up…David turns around…NO!

Megan: Warrior with a clothesline to the face of David Flair! Warrior is a house of fire now, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm cheering for Warrior.

Heyman: You're sure biased for an announcer. Warrior now…oh no…not this!

Megan: Warrior signaling for his Gorilla Press Slam…if he hits this…lifting David up…but a rake of the eyes by Flair…Flair rolls Warrior up!

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TWO

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THREE!

Capetta: Here is your winner, and STILL MPRW Regional Heritage Champion…David Flair!

Heyman: And a nice preview of what will happen in a few days when David goes against Hart!

Megan: If Hart wrestles that pitifully, I wouldn't be surprised. But that's EXTREMELY doubtful. Well coming up next, a return match and a temporary retirement match…Michael White vs. Ninja X! Stay tuned!

*COMMERCIAL BREAK, BUY NOW, PAY LATER, AND IGNORE THE INSIPID ADS!*

Megan: Well, we're back now, and it's now time for a match that could steal this show tonight.

Heyman: …Rash and Angel are this early in the card?

Megan: I was talking about Michael White and Ninja X, Heyman.

Heyman: Oh yeah, THAT match. Well, it'll be an OK match, I guess.

Megan: Please…two champions about to go up against each other…let's take you back to Gary Michael Capetta.

After she says that, Rob Zombie's "Never Gonna Stop" plays up, and to a good reception comes the Cruiserweight Champion.

Capetta: The Following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, standing 6'1" tall and weighing in at 226 pounds…he is the EAW Cruiserweight Champion…Ninja X!

Heyman: Hey Capetta, get it right! He's only the Cruiserweight Champion for a few more days, before he pussies out and strips himself out of it!

Megan: He's getting his relationship with Jenna tighter, Heyman. Of course you wouldn't know about tha…

Brock: Grrr…

Megan: Er, never mind. Well, Ninja X is in the ring now, getting ready, tossing his title belt to the referee…it should be noted that neither title belt are on the line.

Heyman: Which makes this match totally and absolutely pointless in my eyes. But anyway, let's get on with it.

After a bit, another theme of the Mutoh plays…"OUTBREAK"…as to a much better reaction than the last time he was in the EAW comes the PWF I.D. Champ.

Capetta: Aaaand his opponent…from San Antonio, Texas…standing 6' even and weighing in at 220 pounds…making his return to EAW…he is the PWF Interdimensional Champion…Michael Whiiiiiiiite!

Megan: Well, a change of reception for the former EAW World Champion now, as Michael White being cheered somewhat as he makes his way to the ring.

Heyman: White playing up to the crowd for some odd reason…personally I think he was much better without them on his side.

Megan: That's only because you haven't had people supporting you ever since the collapse of ECW.

Heyman: Because these people don't know true genius when they see it, right Brock?

Brock: *grunt*

Heyman: Exactly.

Megan: Please, someone start the match so we can have something else to talk about.

Megan: And now the bell has rung, this match underway….and Michael White extending a hand out to Ninja X…and the Cruiserweight Champion accepts it.

Heyman: Come on, don't be goody goods…this is a fight that people want to see!

Megan: You will Paul, so don't worry. Ninja X and Michael White now to separate corners…now coming after each other…a grapple to start off with, but Ninja X with a knee right to White's gut.

Heyman: NOW we've started the match! X now sending White off the ropes, thrust kick…blocked by White, nice leg twist.

Megan: White going for an elbow to the leg, but Ninja X managing to squirm out a bit, White hits nothing but Canvas there, and Ninja X with a quick kick to White's head. Going for a pin…

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TWO…kickout by White.

Heyman: Ninja X going for a quick win right there, but that won't necessarily work against a former World Champion like Michael White.

Megan: For once we agree…X bringing Michael White up to his feet now, setting him up for a DDT, but White manages to get a Northern Lights Suplex…staying on for the pin…but Ninja X too close to the ropes that time.

Heyman: This match is about move and counter move…White getting off of X now, pulling him towards the middle of the ring, and a succession of elbows by the PWF I.D. champion

Megan: White going off the ropes now, and legdrop to the throat of Ninja X…cover now

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TWO…kickout by Ninja X.

Heyman: Both combatants now have a two count on the other one, showing possibly just how even these two stars are.

Megan: White picking Ninja X up to his feet, suplex attempt…X wiggles out, landing behind White, NICE bridging German Suplex there…another cover…

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TWO

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Kickout by White.

Heyman: Another close call in this match, as to be expected. White a bit the worse for wear…and Ninja X going to the top rope!

Megan: White slowly getting up to his feet now, X going off for a moonsault, but White catches him with a powerslam!

Heyman: BEAUTIFUL! A very smart reaction by Michael White there!

Megan: White rolling on for a cover, hooking the leg…

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TWO

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NO! Another kickout by Ninja X.

Heyman: Such a close call there, but White showing he is following up right now.

Megan: White now going up to the top rope, apparently wanting to go for a high-risk move of his own right now…getting up…SWANTON…MISSES AS NINJA X MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!

Heyman: A possible fatal error by White right there, and Ninja X right there to take advantage of the situation.

Megan: X noticing the downed Michael White now, and grabbing White…Rear Naked Choke…no, White rolling out, both wrestlers to their feet now…

Heyman: And listen to the applause. (sigh)This brings a tear to my eye…ECW all over again.

Megan: Both wrestlers going off the ropes now, X ducking a clothesline by White, both wrestlers turning around now…

Heyman: DOUBLE KICKS TO THE FACE! Both wrestlers down now, possibly even out!

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Megan: And look at that! Both wrestlers kip-upping to their feet. Neither one of them wants this to end with a count out…but they're wobbling…X coming in…

Heyman: SHINING WIZARD BY MICHAEL WHITE! RIGHT IN X'S FACE!

Megan: This could do it…White going for a cover…

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TWO

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Aaaand…NO! Ninja X BARELY kicking out.

Heyman: White was One Second Away from having a successful return here to EAW.

Megan: Michael White thinking, helping Ninja X back up to his feet…setting him up, this could be the Agonizer…

Heyman: But look…Ninja X feeling it being set up…getting out…X-ECUTION! That should do it.

Megan: White dropped right onto his head with that one…cover by Ninja X now…

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TWO

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THREE…NO! White manages to get that left shoulder up!

Heyman: This is a match all about pride right here, and neither man wants to swallow their pride right now and take the loss.

Megan: Ninja X signaling now…could be the Mach-X…going to the top rope…off the top…White moves though, X misses his attempt.

Heyman: That right there could be the difference maker in this match…

Megan: White going in…quick kick…set up…

Heyman: AGONIZER! Michael White hit the Agonizer, and hit it perfectly just then!

Megan: COVER!

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THREE!

Capetta: Here is your winner, by pinfall, Michael Whiiiiiiite!

All around, people stand on their feet and applaud the match.

Heyman: And a great showing by both athletes here, even I have to applaud them.

Megan: Well, Michael White gets the win here…helping Ninja X up…and I'll be damned…

In the ring, Michael White is seen shaking Ninja X's hand…and they embrace for a friendly hug.

Megan: A great showing there by these two…and…

Suddenly, in the arena…all the lights go out…and a song starts playing…

Heyman: "Enter Sandman"!? Can it be…Jim Fullington?

Megan: I don't think so Paul…look at the Jumbotron!

On the Jumbotron is the familiar logo of the Paradox Wrestling Federation.

Heyman: That can only mean…YES! LOOK!

As the lights come back on, in the ring, a Singapore cane in one hand, a beer in the other…is what can be described as a black haired, slightly more fit looking version of the Sandman.

Megan: That's…that's Jim "The Sandman" Dreamer! From the PWF! What's he doing here?

Heyman: Apparently he didn't like what White said about PWF…because he's pummeling Michael White with that cane to his back!

Megan: White is getting brutalized here…Ninja X going to help…but…what the hell?

Heyman: WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Haven't seen that one in a good, long time!

Megan: Holy shit…Jim Dreamer has laid out both White and X…and…ew…spitting that beer on them.

Heyman: And on that EXTREEEEEEME! note, we'll be back after this...hmm...maybe he can come over here...pour a little on your shirt...

Megan slaps Heyman hard....

Megan: Sorry...not happening.

Paul seems to exaggerate it...

Paul: BROCK!! SHE HIT ME!! Well?

Brock: RAAAAAAAARR!!

Megan: Uh oh...yipe!

Brock axehandles the end of Megan's table, destroying the monitor on the table, then chases her to the back

**Commercial Break**

As we come back from the break...it seems Deadly Extremity is already in the ring...

Paul: Well...I don't know where Brock is--but it seems Megan just returned. Um...where's Brock?

Megan: Oh...uh...around. Sorry about that...*rubs his head, then slaps him on the ass*

Paul: UH...okay...suuuuuuuure! Whatever you say! Anyway, Frosti and Savvy just coming out here...

Megan: Yeah...bitches...

Frosti grabs the mic, "Everyone seems to enjoy making us look bad. In fact, we've been set up in not one, but two matches. All for some stupid reason. Despite what our commissioner would have you believe, Megan seems to be more or less, showing her true colors. In fact, despite what she said before, I think that she had a bit of a little chuckle come out of her. I bet she thought it was funny! Hey Sav, don't you think it was probably funny? Seeing us get 'punished?'

Savvy speaks. "I think that it's more thann funny, to her I mean. I mean, we're trying to reveal her for what she is, and we're getting flamed? What is up with you, people? Don't you believe every word we've said? Maybe we were wrong to do what we did, but us bringing in an imposter? We'd lik-*bleep!* it, we'd love to apologize to you about that, but unfortunately...we don't know anything about an imposter. But you know what? Just for the sake of getting the commissioner off our asses, we'll make an apology to Megan, publicly. Don't worry, we won't beat you down like we did the last time."

Megan: Hmph...hang on, Paul...

"Come on, Megan! I think we need a nice woman to woman chat."

Megan then climbs up into the ring, watching Frosti and Savvy suspiciously...

"Now Megan, first of all, we like to apologize for the whole imposter crap going on. To tell you the truth, we didn't even know what was up until we heard you say something. We were about to say, 'To hell what Rash says, we're kicking her ass.' until we saw her brodcast. Now Megan, I'm sure that there's something that you all would like to tell us.

Megan shakes her head, dumbfounded.

"Come on! There's no secrets here! Ok, we'll show you. Hey Savvy! How many times do you...'pleasure yourself?'"

Savvy giggles, "Twice a day! In fact, I just finished a few minutes ago."

"See Megan. We're all honest. We don't have to hide anything. Like Blink for example. She turned out to be nothing but an egotistical bitch. No more of that goody-two-shoes crap. And Stephanie? Please, don't make me get started on her chubby ass. Come on, why don't you tell us."

Megan: Oh me? Oh...not me, not my goody-goody-two shoes self...nope, nope..

"Come on Megan, we all know that you have a certain pleasure you like."

Megan: Well--naw...

"Damn, at least be honest about it."

Megan: Nope...I'm telling you..nothing.

Suddenly, "Here Comes The Pain" by Slayer cues up. Out comes Rash who rushes to the ring.

"OK! I have had enough with this! Each week, you come out here and you try to humiliate Megan. Trying to hurt her! Does she deserve it? NO SHE *bleep!*ING DOESN'T! And we all know, that you're just full of BS. And for damn sure, that it wasn't Megan out there last week. So I suggest that you just shut up, before I give you the beating of your lives!"

Frosti responds. "Rash, why can't you just see through this bitch! Can't you see that the *bleep!*toy is just using you for her own..."

Rash throws his hands down. "B, I didn't want to do this, but they gave me no other resorts..." With that, he shoots out his webbing as reels DE in and hits a clothesline to both. Rash then hits a Symbiote Slam on Frosti on top of Savvy! He then checks up on Megan.

Rash: Sorry about that Megan...I'll try to make sure these two don't bother you anymore.

Megan: No problem...thanks.

She reaches up gives him a kiss on the cheek. Rash blushes, and turns away to drag the webbed up DE, then--LOW BLOW FROM MEGAN?!

Paul: WHOA!!!

Megan then begins to step over him and the others...walking to the back...

Backstage...

Cole: Megan, Megan? Just what happened out there? Why did you--

Megan piefaces him...

Megan: Shuttup Cole...get a clue and leave people the f*** alone...

**Commercial Break**

"Here Comes The Pain" by Slayer begins to play as we come back from break...

Paul: Ah...welcome back to Mayhem for our MAIN EVENT!! And...Megan has rejoined us...

Megan: *Whew*...thank goodness I managed to duck into the ladies restroom--lost Brock...

Paul: YOU LOST BROCK?!

Megan: I'm sure he'll find his way back, but I think he thinks I left the arena. :P So WATCH what you say, Paul...

Paul: Yesmmm...

Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is a non-title match. Introducing first...from another planet...he stands 6'9" and weighs 268 pounds. He is the EAW Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion, and a member of Generation NEXT--RASH!!

Paul: Rash seems to be the wild card of Generation NEXT...and everyone wants a shot at the big time. Rash...Kirk Angel! NEXT!!

Megan: Well...he seems to actually be the only DECENT person out of the whole group. Too bad he just doesn't leave the group.

Paul: HUH?...uh...nevermind...

As Rash gets in the ring, "Gonna Fly Now" by Maynard Ferguson cues up...

Paul: OUR Olympic and World Champion!!...a TRUE Champion, a champion of honor, integrity...

Megan: *Gag* How can you POSSIBLY say that with a straight face? Kirk Angel been nothing but a disgrace ever since a few minutes before he won that title.

Paul: I have NO idea what you're talking about. He's the FINEST champion the EAW has ever produced.

Capetta: And his opponent, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania...he stands 6'2" and weighs in at 220 pounds...he is the EAW World Heavyweight Champion...Kiiiiiiiiiirk Aaaaaaaaaangeeeeeel!!

Megan: And Kirk is only 6 days away from a big title defense at No Escape, but tonight he's got this non-title affair with Rash.

Paul: Good idea by Gokuo--wouldn't want to cause any problems between Gen NEXT and Rash.

Megan: Yeah, why would he want to do that? =P Angel getting into the ring now...and here we go!

Megan: Angel and Rash brawling to start...Rash sends him to the ropes--knee to the midsection now...Rash to the ropes now...and...SPINNING NECKBREAKER!! Now a cover by Rash...

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ONE!

Kickout!

Paul: Angel kicking out--he still has this situation well in hand.

Megan: Of course he does. ^_^ Angel back up to his feet--slugging away at Rash now, and Rash to the ropes...caught by Angel--BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX by Angel. Angel picking up Rash now by the head--set up now, and SNAP SUPLEX! Floatover by Angel...

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ONE!

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...Kickout!

Paul: Angel very calculating and deliberate with his offense. Rash getting up to his feet now...Angel to the ropes--CLOTHESLINE by Rash stops him cold! Rash pulls him up to his feet...Irish Whip to corner now. Rash with a boot across the throat now...Kirk trying to break away. Kirk with a kick to the midsection of Rash--reversal--sends him into the corner now! Kirk slugging away, and an ARM DRAG out of the corner. Rash up--clothesline--NO, ducked under by Rash--waistlock--and modified BACKbreaker by Rash! Cover!

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ONE!

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TWO!

Kickout!

Megan: Rash getting up now..and Kirk dazed--Rash with a headbutt to Kirk...another, setting up Kirk for a suplex...BLOCKED...KIRK with a suplex now on Rash...holding him up high and DROPS HIM DOWN center of the ring! Cover by Kirk!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Paul: Kirk with just an amazing suplex there...Kirk picking up Rash...side headlock--Rash attempting to fight his way out of it--tosses Kirk off against the ropes--Kirk back--LOCKS ON A SLEEPERHOLD!! Kirk trying to put out Rash with an old old OLD school tactic here...Rash starting to drift out of it now--but Rash coming to lift now...back up...JAWBREAKER by Rash now!!

Megan: Rash sends him to the ropes--catches him, scoops up--NO! Angel lands behind--waistlock now...German Suplex by Angel!! Another one! And...ANOTHER!! Into a bridge!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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KICKOUT!

Paul: Rash pulling himself up with use of the ropes...Angel up to one knee...battling each other again now--Rash with a knee to the midsection--hits the ropes--SPRINGS OFF with an Asai Moonsault onto Angel!! Rash hooks the leg!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Kickout!

Megan: Rash sends Angel to the corner--Running BACK Elbow!! Kirk staggered...going for a Symbiote--LOW BLOW snuck in by Angel..Going for the Olympic Sla--

As Kirk goes for the Olympic Slam A raven-haired, clear-eyed girl wearing black and white facepaint, a black and white body suit with her skin showing at her stomach, black and white gloves, and Black boots jumps from the crowd and starts to brutally attack Angel.

Megan: Now what?! RASH blasted with a ki blast!! Mounting Angel now...shots to the face now...picking him back up now...double underhook stalling Suplex--INTO a sit-down piledriver!!

*ding, ding*

She then takes off before security can come to the ring...