Live from the Ft. Worth Convention Center in Ft. Worth, TX!!
Footage documenting the main event of Riot Rulz--Sonnette teaming up with Nova to challenge Lance Storm and a mystery partner, who would turn out to be Chris Jericho--is shown to kick off the Mayhem show. Other highlights are shown, then the intro for EAW WEDNESDAY Night Mayhem is played.
From there, we cut to a shot of the Ft. Worth Convention Center, the home of last night's Smackdown taping, where the arena is filled up yet again for an EAW show. Signs populate the stands such as:
"Hey Red...wanna see my monkey?"
"Booker Wolf stole my crackpipe."
"NEO DX - SUCK IT!"
"Colley Dogstar -- strong enough for a man, but made for THIS woman (points down)"
"Ryokami say, KILL! KILL!"
"I'll buy you a beer, Whitewind!"
"ALL UR FEDZ ARE BELONG TO VINCE!"
"BIG MOMMA = More Cushion for the Pushin'"
"Sarah -- wear the catsuit!"
"Scarlet -- HOT DAMN!"
We then cut to the announcer's desk, where the more-or-less permanent Mayhem announcing team--Megan Eko on play-by-play, Lilith Aensland on color.
Eko: Good Wednesday evening to you, the fans of the EAW, and anyone else who may have stumbled upon our "humble" little show.
Lilith: GO DUKE!! WHOOOOOOOO!!!
Eko: I didn't know you were a basketball fan, Lilith.
Lilith: Nope...I barely even know how it is played, but any guy comfortable with hardwood and who knows how to take it to the hole is alright in my book.
Eko: What book is that?
Lilith: "Bodacious Boys and Babes Lilith's Bagged, Volume XXXVII!!!"
Eko: Probably each volume makes War and Peace look like a vacation pamphlet, too.
Lilith: YUP!
Eko: So...was Michael kidding?
Lilith: Hmmm...I've given it a LOT of thought.
Eko: Drosse or the team?
Lilith: BOTH, silly! Duke, Duke Drosse, Dukes of Hazard, Duke of Winsor, Marmaduke, the Mamalukes, Luke Perry...
Eko: ....Marmaduke?
Lilith: Hee-hee! I think Drosse looks cute with the new baldheaded look. I'd shine THAT head, too!
Eko: Well, tonight's show is set to be incredible, although we're sad to report that Kevin Nash missed his flight, and thus the Kevin Nash vs. Bret Hart match--one of our main events--will not happen.
Eko: DRAT DRAT DRAT!!
Eko: I know, but all the other matches will go down as promised.
Lilith: You said, "go down."
Eko: Indeed I di--HEY! Don't even THINK about it.
Lilith: I've thought about it every day since you first showed up here. I DID IT!! I think I've gone too far. I DID IT!! GUILT-TY AS CHARGED!!
Eko: How appropo to have YOU whore a sponsor. Well, TRY to control yourself. We're going to get Extreme--
Lilith: YES!! YES!! YES!! YES!!
Eko: By that I mean an EXTREME RULES MATCH!!--Test vs. Michael Whitewind.
Lilith: Awwww....well, that's cool, too!
"Target Akai Shougeki" by Wada Kouji begins to play, and out walks the frustrated EAW newcomer, Michael Whitewind.
Eko: Whitewind is 0-2 so far in the EAW, and is taking his failure thusfar a little hard.
Lilith: Wow...Michaels in the EAW are like Chris's in the WWF. We have this one, the former booker, Oseiko's future sex slave..
Eko: Future HUSBAND!
Lilith: Whatever...Action, Nova's real name..
Eko: Well, that isn't the point. The point is this match is in his mind one that will either make or break him. And he has to face Test, has quite a successful return to the EAW despite a WWF Euro Title loss.
Whitewind enters the ring as "Last Resort" cues up.
Lilith: *plugs ears and hums Test's WWF theme* Test...Test...this is only a test...test...where'dhegoonnawayheshoe...
Eko: Somewhere there I think you screwed up the lyrics...but Test on his way to the ring...quite an impressive young star. Quick and agile for his size--a bit like a human version of Colley Dogstar. Don't expect much pure wrestling in this match, though.
Test gets down to the ring, swinging his legs over the top rope and climbing inside. The referee rings the bell...
Lilith: Boogaboogaohyeah?telephone? --Oh, the match has started?
Eko: Yes...and off to a brutal start as Whitewind and Test try to start things off with an old-fashioned brawl. Test hammering away on Whitewind...sends him into the ropes...clothesline sends him up and over. Test climbing out now and our referee following as Test drags him up the rampway...Whitewind with a pair of elbows to the midsection of Test doubling him over now--GUILLOTINE ACE CRUSHER surprises Test and swings the momentum in Whitewind's favor.
Lilith: We call it the "Fameasser," though.
Eko: At any rate...Whitewind stomping on Test on that rampway. Now running up the ramp...running back down--flipping senton splash on Test! Test getting up now, though those hits took their toll. Test and Whitewind battling their way up the rampway now--knee into the stomach of Whitewind! Test grabs him by the hair--is he going to toss him off? WHITEWIND saves himself with a low blow. It may be a cheap move, but in this match it is fair--and practically justifiable in that case. Whitewind jumps onto the back of Test....sleeper applied...trying to wear down Test.
Lilith: Wot's this? Extreme matches aren't about wresting, it's about guys hitting each other with lots of SH*T!!!!
Eko: Test falling backwards onto the ramp--causes Whitewind to let go. Grabbing Whitewind's ankle...and now dragging him up the ramp by it! How embarrasing.
Lilith: *As Whitewind's head bounces off the ramp* Ow...ow....ow...oww...oww...oww...ow...oww....
Eko: Test pulling up Whitewind now...going to slam his head into that steel support--blocked by Whitewind! Test's head rammed to the steel supports! Again now...again...again, again! Whitewind trying to even things out...DDT on the ramp now!! Whitewind now going through the curtains.
Lilith: Amazing that Rik hasn't shredded those yet.
Eko: Whitewind coming out with a chair!! Slams it onto the knee of Test...driving it down into the knee one more time. Whitewind sets the chair up...takes a few steps backward....DOUBLE JUMP--SPLASH onto Test! A rather unique way to use that chair...
Lilith: If you don't count Sabu.
Eko: A smart idea to bring Whitewind to the outside, where he doesn't have easy access to the turnbuckle. Whitewind dragging Test backstage by HIS ankle now.
Lilith: Uh oh...
Eko: Backstage we see Test getting up now...going after Whitewind--smashed with a trashcan lid....another shot from Whitewind!! Now anoth--Test punches it into Whitewind's face!! Test grabbing Whitewind by the hair...dragging him up towards those concrete stairs...slams his head on the stairs....it seems they're near the truck loading area....
Lilith: You said "load" hee-hee.
Eko: Test and Whitewind battling outside....wow....quite a drop looks like there. They better be careful...
Lilith: Geez...if I didn't fly myself, seeing that might make me a little queasy...
Eko: Wait...they're losing their balance....WHITEWIND AND TEST TAKE A SPILL OFF THAT NARROW WALKWAY....oh no....are they alright?
Lilith: Uh oh...spagetti-o's.
Eko: Neither of them are moving....the referee is signaling to end this match....we're going to go to break fans...
Lilith: CRAP!! CRAP!! CRAP!!
**Commercial Break; Oooooh...what a shock. Includes a commercial for the new Dave Matthew's Band CD.**
As we come back from break, Lilith has a set of binoculars held over her eyes.
Eko: Fans, we've had Test and Whitewind taken to a nearby hospital. It doesn't look as bad as we initially thought, but neither of them could complete the match after taking that fall onto the concrete. Nothing was there to break their fall, however. Umm...mind telling me what you're doing?
Lilith: Of course...they're gonna be PUPPIES out here soon, and I'm going to get a close up look!!
Eko: I don't really think you can get far enough away from Big Momma Lay Ya to constitute being far away, but have fun.
Lilith: Have fun? Is that an invitation to.."
Eko: NO!!
Lilith: Dang... *sets down binoculars* Please Satan, God, One Above All, whoever....PLEASE let there be a blackout again! PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE with Hera on top, and top of that whipped cream and a cherry...and then on top of that, ME!!!
Eko: Lilith so desparate here she's looking for divine or damned intervention...
Lilith: Either will do!
"She's Actual Size" by They Might Be Giants cues up, and out walks Sarah Murphy, or is it?.
Lilith: *picks up binoculars, tongue drops out* PUPPIES!! KITTIES!! WHATEVER YOU WANNA CALL THEM! Cute, soft, cuddly, and you wanna hold them all night long! Cute wet little noses...But kinda Rik's female form there. AHHHHHHH!!! I can't see any nips!
Eko: Easy there, Lilith. Well, coming to the ring is President Gokuo's HAND PICKED challenger for the Women's Title. I don't know why she'd dressed like this, but it seems she wasn't kidding about that zoot stuff. For the sake of argument, I'll still call her Sarah. She has quite a daunting task ahead of her to face the...well, supposedly nearly 500 lbs. Big Momma Lay Ya. A woman who never saw a man nor a meal she didn't like.
Lilith: Kinda like me, although a man IS a meal to me...and women too!
Eko: Sarah walking down to the ring, strutting her stuff....
Lilith: That tail ain't half bad either *drool*.
Eko: Sarah getting into the ring now, and getting quite a reception from this capacity crowd. Although this is Texas, and most of the men are so drunk they might even cheer for Big Momma Lay Ya.
Lilith: Turning heel, Megan.
Eko: Not really.
Lilith: I'll lick that, too.
Eko: *sigh*
"Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen cues up. Lilith begins dancing to it.
Lilith: WHOOO!!! Here comes the BIG girl now! And she don't need no STEENKING party hat!
Big Momma Lay Ya, and her companion Viscera come out next. Viscera growls at the surrounding crowd as they boo the couple. Although some cheers are heard.
Eko: Ah-ha! I TOLD you some of these guys are completely plastered.
Lilith: Come 'on, get into it! Two crazy kids in love like Mikey and Oseiko. So this couple wears nearly half a ton combined, that's the main difference!
Eko: Ms. Lay Ya a practicioner of the "See Food" diet.
Lilith: I hear that Visc and Big Momma REALLY like my videos. ^_^
Eko: Only getting enough ice cream to cover Lay Ya's body will effectively wipe out all the stock for four grocery stores. More if they only want one flavor and even more if you want one flavor in one brand.
Lilith: Wow...Megsie's on the ball with the wisecracks tonight!
Lilith: The "Love Handles" climbing into the ring right now--it may give at any moment folks. We've got the female equivalent to David and Goliath here folks.
Lilith: What about Chyna vs. Ivory?
Eko: They BOTH have to be female to count, Lilith.
Lilith: OOOoooooooo...!!
*ding, ding*
Eko: And here's this long-anticipated match-up now underway. Big Momma Lay Ya tying up with Sarah, overpowering her substantially....powering her down...fighting her way up though...FLIPPING ARMBAR--BUT Lay Ya hangs on...SLAMS DOWN SARAH!! She hangs on though. Kinda like the Six Seconds Magic from that videogame.
Lilith: Six Seconds Magic--that's what I called Earvin "Magic" Johnson after our night together! ^_^
Eko: Have a thing for B-Ball players?
Lilith: Well...he had just caught it...and I couldn't get it...so he was pretty easily convinced. But he only lasted...well....
Eko: I see. Sarah holding on desparately now....letting go, up on her feet. Arm wringer--reversed by Lay Ya! Slams that elbow down into the shoulderblades of Sarah! Sarah on her knees...another elbow dropped into her back!
Lilith: Baby got back! But that baby may have a broken one after this match.
Eko: Lay Ya sending Sarah into the ropes--Sarah attempting a reverse--COUNTERED into a clothesline by Lay Ya! Big Momma exploiting that low center of gravity she has. Now bouncing off the ropes...bigsplashcomingup!--Sarah miraculously rolling out of the way of that one. Big Momma borrowing a stragety from her sugar's gameplan.
Lilith: Sugar, eggs, flour, milk...he's a whole cake!
Eko: Sarah up now....quickly hitting the ropes as Lay Ya attempts to get up...SLIDING DROPKICK into the side of Lay Ya! Sarah now with a standing moonsault onto the back of Big Momma!--she's well padded though. Sarah having difficulty rolling her onto her shoulders.
Lilith: Well, I'd worry. Once she gets rolling, she may not stop.
Eko: That's why we had that road block set up a mile down the road.
Lilith: Ahhhhh...
Eko: Lay Ya attempting to get up...Sarah hitting the ropes...JUMPING LEG DROP!! Puts Lay Ya down again. Pushes with all her might...ROLLS BIG MOMMA OVER!! Cover by Sarah!
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On--VIOLENTLY TOSSES Sarah off her. Big Momma getting up now...Sarah on the offensive....CLOTHESLINE by Big Momma puts her down again! Picking her back up--slams her down. Grabs her by the hair....dragging her to the corner--DON'T DO IT!! Not the Banzai Drop!
Lilith: Sarah likes salad, but I don't think like this!!
Eko: SARAH escaping from certain death yet again!! Rolling of the way in the nick of time...or was she playing possum?
Lilith: Possum is food to most of the South, so I don't think.
Eko: Sarah climbing to the second rope, COMES off and hits the second rope elbow a la Bret Hart! Now trying to drag her away from the ropes, and apply ing that deadly 10-57 submission hold...quite a task to use on those massive cottage-cheese legs and thighs of Big Momma. Now applying the crossface part off the hold!! Will she make her submit!?!
Lilith: I've never seen Big Momma give up....although most of the contests I watched with her in it were eating contests.
Eko: I...I..can hardly believe it....Big Momma is dragging herself toward the rope...almost slithering. How can she move like this?!
Lilith: Most of the moving she does IS when she's on the ground anyhow.
Eko: EEEEEEEWW!! Big Momma gets the rope break!! Sarah has to release that hold! The referee forcing her to now. Sarah releasing it. Big Momma Lay Ya beginning to get up, fighting gravity as valiantly as she's fighting Sarah. Sarah up on top again...coming off the rope...Tiger Headscissors. Locks her legs around Lay Ya's head. Flipping her over albeit rather slowly. Big Momma Lay Ya sitting back up...Sarah hits the ropes....ROLLING NECK SNAP a la Shane Douglas by Sarah!! Cover by Sarah!!!
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ONE!!
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Kickout by Lay Ya now. As of yet she hasn't gone for a pinfall on Murphy, but she undoubtedly knows that she is going to have to wear her out. Slow the pace down.
Lilith: And slow down it will...if Black Widow is quicker than a hiccup, than Big Momma Lay Ya is quicker than then one of Visc's burps after drinking a case of Pepsi™!!
Eko: That's our second--as the President of this great nation would say--"sublimmitablalblal" advertisement for tonight.
Lilith: Well, can't win. Him or Brent Bozo's buddies. Although Al Gore seemed a lot cooler to me when he showed up her than he did on the campaign trail. I'd love to boink his daughters, too!
Eko: I knew that was coming. Murphy going up on top again....coming off again--Lay Ya gets the boot up!! And the section of the stands who had the point of view from below her is horrified.
Lilith: Speaking of politics, I HIGHLY recommend Whitehouse.com! It's a great...uh..site on politics and stuff. *wink, wink*
Eko: For some reason, I don't trust that recommendation; anyhow, back to the match. Lay Ya's back up, and yanking up Sarah to her feet. Sending her into the ropes now....Murphy CAUGHT by Big Momma, now. Waistlock now from Lay Ya. Uh, oh, the Serpent Hold...and...Murphy chest being SQUEEZED by Big Momma Lay Ya!
Lilith: WHOOOO-HOOOO!! She's into girls, too!! Big Momma ain't no fool!
Eko: Big Momma squeezing the life out of Sarah Murphy with this...extremely unorthodox hold.
Lilith: "Unorthodox?" What I think you're trying to say is that most wrestling holds don't involve girls grabbing other girls' PUPPIES!! AND SQUEEZING them and KNEADING them and...think maybe Sarah's enjoying that just a little bit?
Eko: I somehow doubt it...LAY YA now with a ROLLING HENTAIPLEX!! INTO ANOTHER!! Sarah just enduring having that massive girth toss her around like a rag doll! Into a Bridge!!
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ONE!
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TWO--kickout by Sarah!!
Lilith" *clap, clap* WHOOOO!!
Eko: Sarah Murphy showing a great deal of fortitude here. Ovarian in the sense that she hasn't backed down from this fight at all, and intestinal in the regards that she's so very close to Big Momma Lay Ya and hasn't heaved yet.
Lilith: Kinda harsh.
Eko: Viscera on the outside, of course cheering on his woman. Sarah being pulled back up to her feet...Headbutt by Big Momma...Sarah ramming her head back into her's! Another one...SARAH defiantly returns the gesture.
Lilith: Dueling headbutts....that's a new one.
Eko: Big Momma with an elbow to the gut surprises Sarah. Now scooping her up top--SARAH REVERSES with a Crucifix Pin!!
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ONE!!
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TWO!!
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NONONONO!! So close!! Lay Ya could barely kick out in time due to all her weight.
Lilith: That could be the reason. She should have only had four desserts today. That fifth was pushing it.
Eko: To say the least...Sarah up now, and going for some HARD kicks into the side of Momma Lay Ya. She's had quite a difficult time cracking through that thick padding of hers, though. Now pulling the massive Momma Lay Ya up. Chop to the chest! One from Lay Ya! Another from Sarah!
Lilith: Big Momma has some pretty big puppies, too!
Eko: "St. Bernards" if you will. It we use the alphabet methods, she probably comes to somewhere around an S or a T-cup--Sarah with a boot into the midsection. Sarah bouncing off the ropes...SCISSOR KICK executed Booker T-style!
Lilith: Don't hate da playa! Hate da game!
Eko: Sarah going for another cover on Big Momma...
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ONE!!
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TWO!!
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NARROW escape by Big Momma! And that's the only narrow thing about her.
Lilith: Wow...she's tougher than she looks. I guess all that "working out" with Viscera paid off.
Eko: Hardly. The only curls these two are familiar with are crunchy and covering in cheese powder. Big Momma pulling up Sarah again....sends her into the corner!! Charging now now...BIG SPLASH IN THE CORNER by Big Momma!!!
Lilith: Call RT&C out here, and tell them to clean her up! And bring a spatula!
Eko: Big Momma now positioning Sarah...this doesn't look good, she's planning to attempt that Banzai Drop again!
Lilith: NOOOOOO!!! It might burst poor Sarah's puppies and splatter them everywhere!! And some of the crowd might be lactose intolerant and sue poor us and we'd lose millions and millions and millions of dollars and they may have to fire you and you'd have to come live with...me..well, upside to everything I guess!!
Eko: BANZAI DROP!!! Big Momma scores with it!!
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One!!
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TWO!!
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THREE!!
Big Momma wins it!!
Winner by Pinfall >>> Big Momma Lay Ya; retains EAW Women's Championship
Lilith: Ouch....Big Momma has T-Cups and now Sarah probably has T-spoons. Oh, and don't worry...even if all that DID happen, I wouldn't charge you rent. Well, not in money, anyhow. ^_^
Eko: I'm getting a better and better idea of what you're going to say next..and it scares me.
Lilith: BOO!!
Eko: AH!
Lilith: Gotcha there.
"Fat Bottomed Girls" cues up on more time as Big Momma continues to sit on Sarah and the referee raises her arm.
Eko: GET OFF HER, ALREADY! DAMN!
Lilith: She's getting up now....and her comes her big hunk o' man. These crazy kids were meant for each other, Megsies! This is the love story that doesn't get the credit that it deserves.
Eko: Maybe because the visuals it would bring on are TOO unpleasant. Viscera congratulating Big Momma on her win over Sarah Murphy, and you KNOW that somewhere in the back, President Gokuo's gotta be pissed.
Lilith: Maybe I could make him feel better...I could just morph into Ami Suzuki...aaand...
Eko: The Cruiserweight Title on the line, coming up next! Don't miss it!
**Commercial Break**Back to the ring... "Crushed" cues up and out comes Red "Rock" West...smiling a little as she waves to the fans.
Lilith: Red! Yaaayyyy!!!! YAAAYYY!!! *clapclapclapclapclapclap!* I'm her biggest fan! Yes sir I am! And I hope she beats that sweet sexy yummy Scarlet for the Cruiserweight title! Yes I do!!
Megan: Don't you want to just have sex with her?
Lilith: No, that's you. I wanna be Red's friend. ^_^
Megan: ... Ah. Okay. Glad we cleared that up.
Lilith: So. You wanna--
Megan: No.
Lilith: Dang.
Megan: ... Jim Ross never had this problem with Jerry Lawler... Joey Styles never had it with Joel Gertner... but they've never had oversexed succubi as partners.
Lilith: Lucky you. ^.^
Megan: Yeah, lucky me.
Red climbs into the ring and turns to the stage as the Izcelion Dance Theme cues up.
Megan: And here comes the champ herself, Scarlet Foxfire! Well...not really...it looks like...Jim?
Lilith: With BOOBS?! Well...I mean, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! GO RED GO!! GO RED GO!!!
Megan: ... Okay, you obviously like Red. C'mon. Admit it.
Lilith: Of course I lick--er, like her! She's cute and she's pretty and maybe the bottoms of her feet have a distinct taste, but I still want to be her friend. So there. Bleh. =P
Megan: Okay, so you don't want to do Red, but you want to do me. She's probably cuter than me.
Lilith: Maybe so... but still... I'm so attracted to you and your prettiness... and the fact that you keep brushing me off is a BIG TURN ON!!!! @_@!
Megan: ...Well, it seems Scarlet has shown up in her host's female form. Quite a way to show LG...but I support it could work..
"Jim-chan" hits the ring and holds the title up in the air. Then hands it to referee Teddy Long, who rings the bell. And this match is underway.
Megan: Red with the quick advantage! Headlock! Counter by Scarlet-- BACKDROP! NO, RED FLIPS TO HER FEET! BACK DROP ATTEMPT... HIT BY RED! SHE HOLDS IT! ONE! No, just a one count! Red kippups to her feet and throws a spinning wheel kick! Ducked by Scarlet! UPPERCUT!! BODY BLOWS!! DDT!! Scarlet's coming back quickly!! 10-57!! NO! Red kicks herself free before Scarlet could get the hold on! Red rolls to the outside and she's... asking Gajetto-chan for guidance. I shouldn't be surprised.
Lilith: Aww, everyone knows Gadjetto-chan's a genius! ^_^
Megan: ... Eeyah. She... it's a plushie.
Lilith: It's still a genius. ^_^
Megan: Anyhow... Red climbs back into the ring... Scarlet's there to greet her! Suplex-- NO, REVERSAL! Red jumps up-- SLEEPING NECKBREAKER! And a reverse chin lock applied!
Lilith is up on the table in a red and black cheerleader's outfit, shaking her pom-poms as she cheers.
Lilith: GO RED GO! GO RED GO! GO RED GO!
Megan: While Lilith has become Red's personal fan club, Red sets Scarlet up... FIRECRACKER!! One! Two! But Scarlet kicks out! Red isn't hesitating! She runs up the top-- CHERRY BOMB!! MISSED!! SCARLET ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! Scarlet jumps up to the top-- MOONSAULT!! COVER! One! Two! NO! Red manages to kick out!
Lilith: RED WEST RED WEST, SHE'S OUR GIRL! IF SHE CAN'T DO IT, I'LL JUST HURL!!
Megan: .. Lilith, get back down here. Your cheers stink.
Lilith: No they don't. ^_^
Megan: *sigh* Scarlet get Red up... piledriver... no! Red powers out!! keeps a hold of Scarlet's legs! HIGH ANGLE SPINEBUSTER!!
Lilith: Kaye's Fly Swatter!!
Megan: Red holds it... STANDING INDIAN DEATHLOCK!! Scarlet can't reach the ropes! Is she going to tap out?!
Lilith: TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
Megan: Wait--... YES! SCARLET REACHES THE ROPES! RED BREAKS THE HOLD! She runs up to the ropes... and... MISSILE DROPKICK FINDS ITS MARK!! COVER! ONE! TWO! NO! SCARLET GETS A SHOULDER UP! Red's not giving up! She drags Scarlet to the corner, sets her up... looks like the Long Hard Road Out Of Hell!
Lilith: YAAAYYYY!!!!!! GO RED GO!!
Megan: Set up... and-- WAIT! SCARLET GRABS RED'S LEG!!! SHE GRABBED IT IN MIDAIR!! SLAMDOWN!! 10-57!! 10-57!!! RED'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! RED-- TAPS OUT! SHE TAPS OUT!! SCARLET RETAINS THE TITLE!!
Lilith: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! ;_;
Winner by Submission & Still EAW Cruiserweight Champion: Scarlet Foxfire
Lilith sighs, then hops off the table, sliding into the ring to check up on Red as Scarlet takes her leave. Lilith smiles, giving Red a hug. Then after picking Gadgetto-chan up, carries Red to the backstage area.
Megan: Well, we'll be right back as soon as Lilith gets back...
**Commercial Break**
Eko: Well, we're back...but for some reason we have...well, a table in the ring.
Lilith: D'VON!! GET THE--oh, good work!
Scene opens up to a table with a Tea set in the ring. Suddenly, the Jolly Gentlemen's/Willaim Regal's theme plays on the PA. William Regal, PC Plodder, and Mr. Parfect then makes their way to the ring or so it appears. "William Regal" is obviously Blueboy wearing a blue Armani suit with his brown-dyed hair pushed back and a big nose is attached to his face. While "PC Plodder" is Kanyon wearing a fat suit under an police officer's uniform, with a boombox in hand. "Mr. Parfect" is then found out to be some scrub in cowboy costume. Blueboy then grabs a mic.
Eko: *snickering* It seems that Da Pac has prepared a Jolly Gentlemen parody for our amusement.
Lilith: That's NO excuse not to have Jasmin out here. BRING OUT THE BABES!!!
Blueboy:(in thick British accent) Good evening, my unemployed friends. Right now, I am besmirched for this reason: I've just found out that I, the "goodwill ambassador of the UK," am the most boring wrestler in the history of wrestling. Oh, it's true. Just about every match I have here and in the WWF, you can hear fans chanting at me, "Boring, Boring, Boring, Boring..."
The crowd joins in on the chant in unison. Blueboy now gets into his best "besmirched" look on his face.
Blueboy: SHUT UP YOU MANANCHANS OR I'LL SLAP EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU IN THE REGAL STRETCH AND SEND MR. PARFECT DOWN TO RAPE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU IGNORAMOUS. I HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH ALL OF YOUR NONSENSE. *sigh* All this frustration makes me want to have a cup of tea, but I don't know if it'll have urine in it like last time or not, but nothing less, it does settles my nerves, dispite the fact that it tastes a little tart every now and then.
Blueboy takes a sip of his tea, then he spits it out disgustedly.
Blueboy: My god, it is urine. Just like when I peed on the stewardess that one time. Oh look, two buxom ladies are coming out.
Jasmin and Neriah comes out wearing evening gowns to the ring.
Lilith: THERE are the babes!!
Then Blueboy grabs Jasmin's arm and examines it.
Blueboy: Oh yes, that arm is so hairy. You all know what they say about women and their hairy arms in Britian. It makes them more smashing and lovely than those ugly skanks here in America.
The crowd boos as Blueboy hands the mic over to Kanyon.
Kanyon:(in thick British accent) Oi, Oi, Oi, ello, ello, ello, PC Plopper's in the house!
Crowd cheers for Kanyon's impression of PC Plodder.
Kanyon: Yo Willy, I got a song I like to play for yoou, oh hell yeah, it's a good one tooo.
Blueboy: Really PC? What is it?
Kanyon: It's too bloody good of a song for a mananchan, but it does get a fat ass like me dancin'.
Kanyon grabs a CD and inserts it in the boombox. He then turns it on and "Real Man's Man plays. This causes everyone else to dance, with Blueboy doing his verson of the "Regal Dance". The crowd laughs at Blueboy's dancing.
Blueboy: Shut your bloody mouths, you Mananchans. I'm not no bloody Ricky Martin, that mananchan.
Kanyon: LISTEN TO HIM YOU BLOODY BAFOONS OR MY FAT ARSE WILL TAKE YOU DOWN TO THE BLOODY NICK.
Then "Mr. Parfect" grabs the mic.
Parfect: Hello all of you sexy people. It's me, Bert Paton, Mr. Parfect, Mr.*bleep*-boy. I'm so much into raping people.
Parfect goes after Neriah and Jasmin as they try to push him away.
Blueboy: Mr. Parfect, do control yourself. You're being such an ignoramous.
Parfect then goes after Kanyon who pushes him away.
Kanyon: BACK OFF OR I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE BLOODY NICK.
Parfect now goes after Blueboy who has an angry look on his face. Blueboy then gives him the snapkick DDT.
Blueboy: I'm sorry for all of that, but Mr. Parfect was becoming too much of an bloody ignoramous.
Blueboy now takes a glimpse at the crowd who awaits his next stunt.
Blueboy:(in normal voice) Now, Jolly Gnats. If you're not down with that, we got two words for you.
Crowd: SUCK IT.
Blueboy: No, not "suck it". (w/Kanyon in unison)BRING IT.
"My Way" by Limp Bizkit cues up as Blueboy, Kanyon, and the girls leave the ring.
Eko: Well, the fued betweem the Gentlemen and Da Pac--or more accurately, Blueboy and William Regal, continues to heat up.
Lilith: Wow...imagine what Visc would look like if he went on a diet like Blueboy did.
Eko: That'd be hard to picture.
Lilith: He actually DID lose weight!
Eko: Viscera? Really?
Lilith: Yeah, he's down to 497.
Eko: According to his bio, he hasn't lost any.
Lilith: Well, since his last weighing, he gained a pound. Now he lost it.
Eko: OOOOOOoooooh.
Lilith: Anyhooo....BRING OUT BLINK!! BRING OUT BIG YIFFY!!! INTERNATIONAL TITLE ON THE LINE!!! HOPEFULLY WE'LL SEE BOOBS!!
"My Generation" by Limp Bizkit cues up.
Lilith: HERE COME TWO OF THEM NOW!!
Eko: *sigh* I really have yet to see the appeal of the EXTREMELY overrated band Limp Bizkit, but I suppose the wrestlers pick whatever they like.
Lilith: That cut you're listening to is off the new album "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot-Dog Flavored Water."
Eko: Ummm...
Lilith: Hee-hee--WHOO-HOOOO!! Blink looks HOT TONIGHT!! And the guys seem to agree. ^_^
Eko: I guess that shows how much these Texas men can hold their liquor. If they consumed enough to find Big Momma attractive, they should be dead from alcohol poisoning by now.
Lilith: OUCH...ruthless tonight, Megsies.
Eko: Blink getting into the ring now....now running across and climbing that turnbuckle...giving the big DX "X" symbol.
Lilith: I wonder if Trip's got aquainted with Blink's "starfish" yet?
Eko: Somehow I doubt that. The DX women may be a bit promiscuous, but Blink seems devoted to Mashteh. Blink now climbing up the opposite turnbuckle...the DX "X"--it seems like she'd doing her own version of Austin's entrance.
Lilith: Well, Blink's one of the several people engaged her in EAW. I wonder out of her, Oseiko, Sonnette and Lupe, which of them will get knocked up first? ^_^
Eko: Who knows, but unlike Morrigan, all of them would have to go through a full 9 month pregnancy, and be away from the ring at least six of those--Blink climbing up the third turnbuckle now. That'd be rough on Blink and Oseiko's bodies--would retain more water than the Jolly Gentlemen do stool.
Lilith: Essh!
Eko: Blink doing the DX taunt on the fourth turnbuckle--there's the crotch-chop! Now the challenger in the ring, and the champ set to come out next...
"Of Wolf and Man" by Metallica cues up next with a deep howl, and out walks "Big Yiff" himself, with the EAW International Title over his shoulder.
Eko: The International Champ now walking to the ring. If Ayane were here tonight she'd be cheering for Colley intensely just because she'd want to see Blink beaten.
Lilith: Ayane's pretty fiesty alright. I've heard that Blink might have a little "sumthin sumthin" going on with Velocity like Colley's friends Sonn, Lupe, and T-Boner have.
Eko: Hmmm...kinda like like their three-fold relationship--the "three cherries" they call it, and you, Hera, and Triple H.
Lilith: Probably not a good idea to mention "cherry" when Oseiko might be watching, though.
Eko: Well, those three are very happy, but when news reached Lance Storm...he just about flew off the handle. I mean, he's FURIOUS!
Lilith: The early dog gets the p****y!!
Lilith: Rather crude and boorish, but perhaps applicable in this case. Colley getting into the ring, handing Mike Chioda that International Title...Chioda under scrutiny for his decision in the Blueboy/Regal match, but perhaps he can redeem himself here.
Eko: Colley and Blink now going after each other...circling the ring. Blink tackling Colley--no, Colley pushing her away! Colley armdrags Blink over! Ducks a haymaker swing...Blink going for a backdrop--blocked by Colley--Russian Leg Sweep. Blink getting up again...Colley grabs her by the collar and forces her back towards the corner--hard knees immobilizing Blink.
Lilith: It looks like that isn't the only thing of Colley's that's hard and touching Blink. ^_^
Eko: Blink, now reversing!! Puts Colley in the corner. Now stomping a mudhole in Colley a la her former idol the Texas Rattlesnake!
Lilith: And I like bald-headed champions myself.
Eko: Now putting a boot across the throat of Colley, although he's trying to fight his way up. Arm drags Colley out of the corner. Blink up to the second rope...Colley getting up...FRONT DROPKICK into the snout of Colley!! Colley back up again though...Blink up....Colley sandwiching Blink in the corner! Now firing her into the opposite corner--Blink springing off with great agility--but right into the grasp of Colley!! Colley spinning around....RUNNING POWERSLAM!!!
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ONE!!
Kickout by Blink!
Lilith: Wow, that's anudda 01d sk001 move, d00dr!!
Eko: Blink pulled up by that long ponytail now....Colley cinching her up around the head and by that belt loop--vertical suplex coming up--and down! Blink crashing down on her back. Colley up, and lays in some kicks to Blink. Blink getting back up, set up by Colley now...turns her around...going for a piledriver now....Blink attempting to reverse into a back body drop...Colley rocks backward with another attempt--back body drop by Blink! Colley with a sunset flip though!
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One!--kickout by Blink! Blink up now...ducks a clothesline attempt by Colley--side kick by Blink...Tae Kwon Do Jump Kick puts Colley on his back. Blink grabbing the ankles of Colley--Colley pushing her off with both feet--flipping up to his feet now. Blink and Colley hit the ropes....Colley with a spinning back kick to the gut of Blink!! Blink doubled over now....Colley setting her up again....hoists her up in the air in a suplex position....JACKHAMMER SLAM!!!
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ONE!!
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TWO!!--kickout by Blink!! Wow...I don't think anyone besides her has kicked out of that move before!
Lilith: Chock it up to Blink getting "jackhammered" by Mashteh on a regular basis. She's used to it. ^_^
Eko: Blink pulled up again by Colley...sent into the ropes...drop toe hold by Colley, now. Blink flat on her face now. Colley jumping onto her back--applies a modified camel clutch--slides forward down, pressing Blink's shoulders to the mat.
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One!
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TWO--another escape by Blink!
Lilith: Can you believe how short those shorts are, Megsies?
Eko: With difficulty--both competitors getting up now...
Lilith: It's practically a belt! But hey, I'm not complaining; just enjoying the view!
Eko: Blink and Colley now engaging in a slug-fest...Colley with the obvious strength and height advantage getting the best of Blink in this exchange....scoops up Blink now--she lands behind him now--applying a sleeperhold now!!
Lilith: Not just ANY sleeperhold, THAT'S THE MILLION DOLLAR DREAM!!!
Eko: Indeed it is...BLINK clamping down with the Million Dollar Dream...or Degenerate Dream, or whatever it should be called--it is another of Austin's moves, his "Ringmaster" finish.
Lilith: Yeah...he might be watching this, so REMIND of that gimmick. Hee-hee.
Eko: Bad gimmick or no, the move is very effective, and Colley is starting to loose consciousness. Down to one knee...both knees.
Lilith: Well, it looks bad for Colley, but at least she isn't "putting him to sleep" any other ways.
Eko: Colley trying to shakes the cobwebs off, but fighting this hold in vain it seems--wait!! He has both fists in the air, pumping them hard....RUNS BACKWARDS INTO THE TURNBUCKLE and breaks the hold--Blink going for a backdrop--Colley lands behind her...waistlock by Colley--standing switch by Blink...Corino Driver--NO, Colley grabs the rope and prevents it! Blink whiffs with that move! Colley up and firing away on Blink....boot into the midsection...setting up Blink now. Powerbomb coming up.....Blink hammering away on the crown of Colley's head...Blink trying to save herself...POWERBOMB by Colley...hoists her up again--SAMURAI DRIVER!! BLINK able to get the leverage!! She saves herself from a near-certain defeat!!
Lilith: Still, Colley has Blink's head between his legs, and a LOT of guys have dreamt of that happening!!
Eko: Blink sending Colley into the ropes...bounces off them herself--DOUBLE HANDED FACE CRUSHER!! Rolls Colley over!!
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ONE!!
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Kickout by Colley just before two--and one of the few if not the first pinfall attempt by Blink. Blink now up...sends Colley into the ropes...reversal...another reversal, sends him to the corner....Monkey Flips him over and sends him CRASHING DOWN!! Colley up again...high leg lariat! Rolls him over and goes for another pinfall!
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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KICKOUT by Colley now!!
Lilith: Win or Loss, Colley deserved a biscuit and a belly rub after this match. ^_^
Eko: Blink trying to chip away as Colley's strength, and far succeeding....sends Colley to he ropes....reversal--SPINS HER ROUND!! SPINBUUUUUUUUUSTER!! SPINNNNNNNNEBUSTER!! SPINEBUSTER!!! by Colley!!! Nearly snapped Blink and the ring in half with that impact!! Climbing to the head of Blink....signalling for the most electrifying--well, his ripoff of it anyway. There goes the elbow pad!
Lilith: Colley hits the ropes....leaps over Blink's luscious body and big beautiful boobs...hits the other ropes....Cano's Elbow!!!
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ONE!!
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TWO!!
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NOOOOOOO!!! Kickout by Blink at hte last possible moment??!
Eko: These two are just about out of energy...if they aren't already. They're running almost purely on adrenaline now! Colley dragging Blink up again....suplex coming up--blocked by Blink?! Colley snap suplexed by Blink! Blink with a floatover!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Not quite strong enough...Blink going for another--blocked by Colley...Colley with another knee to Blink's midsection...neckbreaker takes down Blink....pulling her up...sends her to the ropes....Blink reverses...hits the ropes--LOU THESZ PRESS ON COLLEY!!! Blink's "Ode to Austin!!" Firing away with right hands on Colley!! Cover by Blink!!
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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KICKOUT again by Colley!! Blink is in disbelief. She gets up, wiping the sweat from her brow...Colley up...Blink with a boot to the midsection--Colley blocks it!! Goes for a Enzui Giri--ducked by Colley!! Colley slams her knee into the mat...Blink up now but weak...Blink caught with a kick to the midsection. Colley setting her up for the Evenflow...Blink trying to block it...NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX RELEASE!! Blink saves herself!! Both of them struggling up now...BLINK kicking Colley now...SPLIT SECOND!!! Cover by BLINK!!!
The crowd, announcers, and home audience count...
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ONE!!
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TWO!!!
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THREE!!!!!
*ding, ding, ding*
Lilith: She did it?! SHE DID IT!!!
Eko: Blink has beaten Colley Dogstar for the EAW International Title!! In an UNBELIEVABLE match!!
Winner, and NEW EAW International Champion >>> Blink
Eko: Blink helping up Colley now...and they shake hands in a show of sportmenship! Colley holding up Blink's arm as Mike Chioda hands her the title belt!
Lilith: Blink's holding it up...and...she's coming outside to let me give her a victory boff?
Eko: No, grabbing a cooler....and tossing it inside. Sliding in now.
Blink opens the cooler and grabs a root beer out of it, then another, tossing one to Colley. They crack them open simultaneous, then slam the cans together as they drink a toast.
Eko: Incredible match..I'm still in awe--who's jumping the guardrail now...LANCE Storm sliding in now...CHAIR in the back of the head!
Lilith: SPIT TAKE, AWAY!
Eko: Sets him up...DEEP IMPACT on Colley!! Blink coming to his aide--tossed over the top rope by Lance Storm!
Lance begins to stomp away as they crowd boos him viciously. He can be faintly overheard yelling, "SHE'S ENGAGED!?! Well, is she happy now? Is she happy she broke my heart? ARRRGH!!"
Eko: Lance has a look in his eye I haven't seen since David Flair went off the deep end...he's wrapping that chair on Colley's ankle...stomping at it!! trying to break Colley's ankle! Going up top...stomp off the top onto the chair!....Blink coming back in now...Lance taking off....
Lilith: Wow....talk about being hard up for poon.
Eko: Lance seems to have snapped....we're taking a commercial break now, everyone. Don't miss our main event coming up next!
**Final Commercial Break; Commercial for new Limp CD, natch. :P**
Megan: We're back!! Well... we may not have been able to bring you our FIRST main event, but we are going to deliver our second!!
Lilith: YEAH BABY!! I can't wait! TH15 \/\/1|_|_ R0˘K /\/\U˘|-| @55!!
Megan: Lilith. Hacker-speak?
Lilith: Oop, sorry. ^^;
"There's A Fire In The House" cues up as "Code Red" Michael Connelly shows up on the stage. He looks pretty focused as he tightens up the tape on his hands, then heads down the aisle.
Megan: And here comes the Michael Anthony Connelly... the man, who in two weeks will marry Oseiko "Black Widow" Kurotsuki in the bonds of holy matrimony!
Lilith: Ooohhhhh...!!! ;_; *snif* ... I wanna get swept up in the moment!! Megan!! Will you marry me?!
Megan: o.0; Uhm... what--?!
Lilith: Marry me! That way we can boff and yiff and boink and... hell, we could f*BLEEP!*k each other and it'll all be legal in da eyes of da Lord! ^_^
Megan: Uhm... sorry. Not interested.
Lilith: Waah... my heart, it doth be broken once more... ;.;
Then the lights go out as Code Red climbs up to the ring. Then the whistling of "Engel" by Rammstein cues up, the fans going absolutely wild. The music picks up and as the lights dim back on, there on the stage is the immortal "Revenant," with Morrigan Aensland Bloodgrave at his side. Looking to the cheering fans, he smiles, then heads down to the ring, sliding in and going to his corner, dropping down to his knees and waits patiently as Morrigan waits at ringside. Code Red stays in his corner as he looks to Shaed... then takes a deep breath as Shaed draws his arms across his chest and bows his head. Code Red nods back as Earl Hebner calls for the bell, Shaed quickly jumping to his feet and meeting his opponent in the center of the ring.
Megan: Both men shake hands... then... tie-up! Shaed with the advantage as he whips Code Red to the ropes! Clothsline! Ducked by Code Red! SHOULDER BLOCK sends Shaed down, but he jumps right back up and meets Code Red's gaze! Judging by the smile on Shaed's face, you can tell he's already enjoying this match!
Lilith: That's my bro! Ever the lover of competition!
Megan: Tie-up! Code Red with the headlock! NO, BACK DROP by Shaed! Countered!! Code Red with a back drop!! No!! ANOTHER COUNTER! SHAED-- DRAGON SUPLEX! ONE! Just a one count! And Shaed and Michael are looking to each other. Feels like they're just testing each other here.
Lilith: Yeah... sure does...
Megan: Code Red moves in-- but Shaed keeps him back with a few spin kicks! WAIT, SUDDEN ROLL FORWARD--ELBOW TO THE GUT SENDS CODE RED DOUBLED OVER! EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! BOXING UPPERCUT!! SHAED GRABS HIM BEFORE HE COULD FALL--JIUJITSU THROW!! AWESOME KUROHIJITSU KATA!!
Lilith: Woo!! Yeah!!
Megan: Shaed picks Code Red up... but Code Red manages to act! KICK!! DDT! Cover! One! T-NO! Shaed kicks out and rolls to his feet!! There's that Bloodgrave resiliancy showing... Code Red'll have to find some way to keep Shaed down! Tie-up! CODE RED WITH A KNEE TO THE GUT! CRIMSON TIDE COMING UP--NO!! SHAED WITH A... WHAT WAS THAT?! SOME KIND OF INVERTED REVERSE SUPLEX?! BRILLIANT INGENUITY FROM THE REVENANT! COVER! ONE! TWO! But Code Red kicks out and rolls to the outside! He DEFINETLY didn't expect such an awesome counter like that! Let's see the replay!!
Scene switch to the beginning of the Crimson Tide, a Reverse DDT Drop (or Diving Reverse DDT). Code Red applied the inverted face lock, but suddenly Shaed seized his waist, and using awesome back strength, flipped him up off his feet and forward, causing him to crash back-first to the mat!
Megan: Impressive!! Code Red's back into the ring... tie-up! Code Red with a knee shot! And another! Set-up... CRIMSON CRUNCH CLUTCH! ONE! TWO! But Shaed gets out in time! Shaed gets to his feet! OH, SPEAR BY CODE RED!! And a reverse chin lock by Shaed Bloodgrave's future son-in-law!! Earl Hebner's seeing if he wants to tap out but Shaed's not giving up! Never in his tenure in the EAW has Shaed Bloodgrave lost via submission! Shaed grabs Code Red's waist... it looks like he's trying to piggy back him up... NO! CODE RED KNEES SHAED IN THE BACK!! Picks him up! T-BONE SUPLEX! Cover! One! Two! Shaed kicks out again! And rolls to his feet! Code Red moves to intercept him-- NO! KICK TO THE GUT! SIDE SUPLEX BY THE REVENANT! Shaed picks him up and whips him to the corner... ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE TOP ROPE... DIVING SPEAR!! Shaed calls it the Silence Seizure! Cover! One! Two! No! Code Red kicks out! Shaed keeps on him... locking in the Eastern Stretch! But Code Red's too close to the ropes! And Shaed's forced to break the hold!
Lilith: Wow! Hey, Shaed and Michael're doin' pretty well so far!
Megan: That they are... Shaed picks Code Red up-- WAIT! KICK TO THE GUT BY CODE RED! WHIP TO THE CORNER!! CLOTHESLINE! ANOTHER ONE! ANOTHER!! WHIP TO THE ROPES! BOUNCES OFF! LEAP FROG! BOUNCES OFF!! AWESOME SPEAR!!! THE IMMACULATE PERPLEXION!! CODE RED LEAPS UP TO THE TOP ROPE! FROG SPLASH!!! YES!! COVER! ONE! TWO! TH--NO!! SHAED KICKS OUT!! Code Red's stunned!! But he gets Shaed back up! WAIT! KNEE TO CODE RED'S STOMACH! SHAED HOOKS THE CHEST!! SUDDEN IMPACT! NO!!! CODE RED COUNTERS WITH A... WITH THE NOVACAINE?!
Lilith: WAUGH!! o_O;; HE TOOK A PAGE FROM NOVA'S BOOK!!
Megan: One! Two! Thr--NO!!! Shaed can't stay down!! Code Red waits to Shaed gets up... and he IS getting up... KICK! HOOK THE ARMS!! CONDITION RED!!! COVER! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO?!?!! SHAED KICKED OUT OF THE CONDITION RED!!!
Lilith: WOO-HOO!!
Megan: It looks like Code Red is going to try the Red Tape! But Shaed... SHAED KICKS HIM AWAY!! KIPPUP! GRAB AND-- SUDDEN IMPACT!!!! What, no "Sho Geki Ha?!" Anyhow! Cover! One! Two! Three! NO! TWO!!!! CODE RED GOT HIS SHOULDER UP JUST BARELY IN TIME!!! UNBELIEVABLE!! Shaed gets up... taking Connelly up... and SWINGING DDT!!! Pick back up by Shaed... whip to the ropes! Sudden Impact off the ropes! NO! CODE RED DUCKED! HE HITS THE ROPES-- CONNELLY COMET STRIKES HOME!! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!! SHAED GOT A SHOULDER UP!! The demonic resiliancy of the Revenant is doing whatever it takes to keep Shaed up!
Lilith: In more ways than one but ANYHOW...
Megan: Code Red looks tired... but Shaed looks as if he's barely broke a sweat!! But tie-up! Shaed knees Code Red! JIUJITSU THROW--NO!! CODE RED COUNTERED!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! WOW!!!
Lilith: O_O!! WHAT THE HELL?!!
Megan: CODE RED MICHAEL CONNELLY JUST BEATEN SHAED BLOODGRAVE BY COUNTERING A JUDO THROW INTO A SMALL PACKAGE!!! INSTANT REPLAY!! WE HAVE TO SEE THIS SPECTACULAR MOVE AGAIN!!
Scene switch to the instant replay: Shaed grabbed Code Red's arm and took him down like normal, but Code Red purposely oversold his fall, taking Shaed by surprise and rolling him up into a modified small package for the three count!
Winner: "Code Red" Michael Anthony Connelly
Megan: Unbelievable!! Morrigan seems shocked that Shaed was beaten! Shaed surprised himself... but he's smiling! He goes to Code Red and... yes! A congratulatory hug from the Revenant and the raising of the victor's arm in a contest well fought!!
Lilith: Well, that's my bro for ya... at least he's a good sport.
Megan: And that's all the time we have for tonight! For Lilith Aensland this is--
Lilith: Lilith's Future Sex Slave! ^.^
Megan: ... Megan Eko, who will not be anything of the kind! Signing off until Riot Rulz!! Good night everybody!