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THE PRESIDENT IS DEAD. LET US
PREY. Live from the Landon Arena and Hilhurst Three Sisters Cemetary in Topeka, Kansas! Your Hosts are BG Hyde and Paul Heyman "'President Dead'" by Marilyn Manson cues up as we focus immediately on a business suit-clad Ryokami heading down the aisle in the "arena" made from a graveyard. Following him is his Cenobite concubine Leatherstitch as he smiles darkly. BG: Hello everyone! Welcome to Mayhem! I'm BG Hyde alongside Paul Heyman here in the Landon Arena in Topeka, Kansas! And we are watching this live at the Hilhurst Three Sisters Cemetary outside of Topeka! This is where most of the show is going to take place, ladies and gentlemen! Ryokami has shanghaied Mayhem and has made it completely non-sanctioned! Mighty Molly, Nova, Oseiko, and the Hurricane has their work cut out for them as they have to face down the Hell's Asylum singlehandedly!! Heyman: This is absolutely frightening, BG! ANYTHING can happen tonight! We could be very well seeing the last of Molly, Nova, Hurricane or Oseiko! Or all four of them! The Asylum has pulled no punches in the past! This is the closest thing to Mortal Kombat folks! Mortal Friggin' Kombat!!! BG: And there may be fatalities tonight! Thank God we have temporary healer Tifa Lockheart there... she's got her work cut out for her tonight, as well!! Back in the graveyard "arena" Ryokami steps into the ring... looking out to the rows of headstones surrounding him, then to Leatherstitch. Then he looks right at the camera... not needing a microphone he speaks directly to it. "Tonight... the Hell's Asylum mark their territory..." Ryokami says. "Tonight we shall tear down the would-be-heroes of humanity's hatred. Tonight... TONIGHT!!!" Ryokami shouts out. "... Tonight... we will be triumphant... and we shall lay to waste the flesh of those who are indeed wastes of flesh." BG: This guy is sick, Paul... sick and evil! Heyman: No argument there... "None of you can see that hatred fuels you..." Ryokami says. "... None of you can see... the hatred that fuels you all is the hatred that has you all diseased. Hatred is what fuels wars. Hatred is what fuels racists. Hatred is what fuels men to do unspeakable acts, and that is why I must purify humanity!! Hatred is a terminal illness!! And I... I must do the humane thing of euthanizing humanity... before the illness spreads even further..." He ignores the fans booing him as he smiles at Leatherstitch. "... And so, we begin. With the Heroes of Hatred... the false saviors who think they're doing the right thing when in actuality they're just adding to the hatred of the world. Molly... the slut who plays with the hearts of two of her supposed allies. Nova... the bastard adulterer who sleeps with two women behind their backs. Oseiko... the continuing legacy of my dear father that shall be snuffed out tonight. And finally... the Hurricane. Truly the most hypocritical of them all... showing no remorse over those who died in the Itte Kimasu productions... who claims to be a hero to all of humanity and yet he cannot see... he is blind to the failings of his own hatred... he is consumed by the hatred... driving himself and his allies to their deaths tonight. It shall be so... it shall be done..." BG: Where does he get off... he's just twisting everything! Ryokami looks to Leatherstitch... then jumps out of the ring to bring into view the jet black casket with Hurricane's insignia etched into it. "... I will warn you all... what you will see in this will not be for the faint of heart. There will be blood... violence... mutilation... and yes.. death. But think of it this way..." Ryokami hops up to the casket and raises his hands out to the sides, palms up. "... It'll make for one hell of a ratings boost." Ryokami throws his head back and laughs as "Astonishing Panorama of the Endtimes" cues up. BG: Ratings?! He's talking about actively killing Molly and Hurricane and the others and talks about RATINGS?!! What kind of a monster IS he?!! Heyman: One hell of a scary monster, that's what! He's gonna stop at nothing to see this as a victory for the Hell's Asylum tonight!! BG: Ugh... well, don't go away, everyone! Our first match is underway... Mighty Molly Vs. Nexus! Extreme rules! That's right after this!! ***
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LIGHT A CANDLE FOR THE SINNERS! "1996" cues up and Nexus steps out to the stone stage. Stigmata closely by as he waits silently, his head bowed. BG: We're back, folks... and there's the Hellhound of the Asylum! Nexus and his girlfriend Stigmata... they're heading out to the ring right now with nothing but murderous intentions! Heyman: I really don't like the atmosphere here at all, BG! This isn't... no, this DOESN'T feel right at all! The moment the two reach the ring... HOLY SIDEKICKS, HURRICANE! IT'S MIGHTY MOLLY!! "Supergirl" cues up! And Molly steps out to the stage! She looks focused as she suddenly jumps up-- BG: SHE FLIES TO THE RING! NEXUS PUSHES STIGMATA AWAY-- AND GETS HIT BY A FRONT DROPKICK!! REFEREE DAVE HEBNER RINGS THE BELL!!
Extreme Match Mighty Molly Vs. Nexus BG: Molly with an elbow shot! A kick to the gut! And a snapmare! SENTON SPLASH BY MOLLY! And ANOTHER! Nexus quick to get up now, but Molly grabs him! Whips him to the corner! Handspring... ELBOW! AND FACECRUSHER!! Molly quickly grabs Nexus as he gets up-- GERMAN SUPLEX! INTO A PIN!
1! BG: But Nexus kicks out! Nexus quick to get up! Grabs Molly and whips her to the corner! CLOTHESLINE! THROWS HER DOWN TO THE MAT AND CLIMBS THE TOP ROPE.. FLYING ELBOW INTO MOLLY'S CHEST!! Heyman: Uh... maybe softening up that chest for that... cracking open thing... BG: I don't even want to think about that! Nexus grabs Molly up-- SIDEWALK SLAM!! And a stomp to her head for good measure! Nexus picks her up... WAIT! MOLLY POWERS OUT! WHIPS HIM TO THE ROPES! FOLLOWS UP-- SPINNING ARM DRAG!!! NEXUS QUICK TO GET UP BUT MOLLY RUNS BEHIND HIM! GERMAN SUPLEX!!! Molly now... sizing Nexus up... JUMPS UP-- DRAGONRANA PIN!!!
1! BG: NO! NEXUS POWERS OUT! But Molly quick to land a front dropkick into Nexus' chest! NEXUS ROLLS TO HIS FEET SEIZING MOLLY'S ARM AND-- KNEE TO THE GUT!!! Nexus now, slides out of the ring! He's got a steel chair! Throws that in! And a garbage can!! He slides back into the ring and grabs the chair! MOLLY'S GOT THE GARBAGE CAN NOW! SLAMS THAT CAN ONTO NEXUS AND THROWS HIM DOWN!! Nexus gets up... but gets-- GERMAN SUPLEX!!! NEXUS ROLLS BACK TO HIS FEET! MOLLY GRABS HIM-- JAWBREAKER!! Molly's actually dictating the pace here-- AND MOLLY WITH A STANDING DROPKICK!! Molly now, running to the top rope! 450 SPLASH!! PIN!!
1! BG: NEXUS GETS A SHOULDER UP!! HEADBUTTS MOLLY!!!! He grabs her leg! KNEE SMASH!! NOW NEXUS UP ON THE TOP ROPE!!! AND-- DIVNG ELBOW!! CONNECTS! THE PIN!!
1! BG: YES! ONLY A ONE COUNT!! Nexus gets up-- MOLLY THOUGH!! KICKS NEXUS IN THE GUT!! Collar/elbow tie-up... COUNTERED! NEXUS WITH A GUT KICK! AND-- ONE HANDED CHOKEBOMB!!! No pin attempt by Nexus... pick up... AND-- MODIFIED POWERSLAM BY NEXUS!! NEXUS PICKS HER UP AGAIN!! AND-- LUNAR BOMB!!! Nexus is really punishing the back here!! You gotta wonder if he's going to... Heyman: I think that's EXACTLY what he wants to do! BG: ANOTHER MODIFIED POWERSLAM!!! Nexus picks her up-- MOLLY COUNTERS!! HURRICARANA!!! YES! THERE'S STILL SOME FIGHT LEFT IN MOLLY!!! BUT-- Nexus got up! Nexus swats away a dropkick! Punches Molly-- MOLLY BLOCKS! PUNCHES BACK! ANOTHER PUNCH! A KICK-- NEXUS BLOCKS! DOUBLE AXE-HANDLE! ELBOW SHOT! ANOTHER AXE-HANDLE! AND-- MY GOD, ANOTHER MODIFIED POWERSLAM!!!! NEXUS IS LOOKING TO BREAK MOLLY'S BACK!!! Heyman: Dammit, I usually am very unbiased, but I can't stand this! FIGHT BACK, MOLLY!!! BG: .... you, unbiased. =/ ... *ahem* ANYHOW... NEXUS WITH A PUNCH! MOLLY DUCK AROUND TO BEHIND NEXUS! AND-- MOLLY ARMORS UP!!!! GRABS NEXUS!! PENDULUM BACKBREAKER!!! NEXUS HOWLS IN PAIN AS HE FEELS A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICENE!!! Nexus rolls to Stigmata... wait, did Stigmata just hand Nexus something? Heyman: It looked shiny... brass knucks? BG: I don't know... Molly advances towards Nexus and-- OH MY GOD!!!! Heyman: Holy crap!! Nexus: NEXUS JUST STABBED MOLLY IN THE GUT WITH THAT KNIFE!!! IT... IT PIERCED HER METAL BODY!!! SHE JUST REVERTED TO HUMAN FORM OUT OF SHOCK!! AND NEXUS NOW, TOSSING THE KNIFE BACK TO THE OUTSIDE AND HE LOCKS ON A BEARHUG!!! HE'S SHAKING HER LIKE A RAGDOLL BUT MOLLY REFUSES TO GIVE UP! AND ANOTHER MODIFIED POWERSLAM!! MOLLY... my God, Molly's bleeding badly here! SHE-- LOW BLOW BY MOLLY! MOLLY RUSHES TO THE TOP ROPE!! MISSILE DROPKICK CATCHES NEXUS IN THE JAW! SHE'S NOT GIVING UP YET!!!! BUT NEXUS GETS UP! CLOTHESLINES MOLLY VICIOUSLY!! Nexus picks Molly up! MOLLY COUNTERS! WHIPS HIM TO THE CORNER AND DIVING ELBOW!!!! PIN COVER!!!
1! BG: DAMMIT! NEXUS GETS A SHOULDER UP! WHY ISN'T DAVE HEBNER STOPPING THIS MATCH?! MOLLY'S BLEEDING ALL OVER THE PLACE HERE! MOLLY ELBOWS NEXUS IN THE FACE-- NEXUS PUNCHES MOLLY IN THE GUT!!! RIGHT INTO THAT BLEEDING GUT!! AND NOW-- Oh GOD! Heyman: It's over... it's over here! BG: BACKBREAKER!! AND-- ANOTHER BACKBREAKER AND NOW... ANTI-FUTURE PLAN!!!! NO!!! NO!!! Nexus throws Molly up in the air and she lands on Nexus' knee-- *krak!* BG: OhmiGod... M... Molly... Molly, I think... Nexus broke her back! Oh come on... NOW Nexus goes for the pin! This is ridiculous!!
1! Winner: Nexus BG: This... is THIS what we have to expect from tonight?! Nexus brought that knife into the ring! STABBING Molly in the gut!! And now her back has been snapped in two!! And... oh God he's not done yet! Nexus throws Hebner out of the ring and grabs Molly up! Tying her arms up into the ropes! What is he... oh God! He just... ripped open Molly's top! Heyman: Molly's puppies has been exposed!! o_o! BG: What now... oh no... Stigmata just brought that knife back in and she's handed it to Nexus!! "What'm I going to do next..." Nexus grins evilly. "I think I'll skin me some puppies!!" Heyman: Oh man-!! BG: NO WAY! HE'S GOING TO MUTILATE MOLLY IN THE RING!! HE-- WAIT!!! HERE COMES HURRICANE! NOVA!!! AND NEXUS AND STIGMATA CLEAR OUT!! THANK GOD!! Hurricane lowers Molly genty to the ring as Tifa rushes to the ring as well. Hurricane's quick to cover Molly's nakedness as Tifa uses the White Materia she was given to heal Molly. BG: Thank God for Tifa, though... Molly's gonna recover. Anyhow... we'll be right back, folks! Don't go away! *** Commercialage. *** Back to the show, as Tifa sighs softly, sitting against a gravestone. When suddenly Ryokami walks over to her. "Well... you've certainly done it..." Ryokami says. "Done it? Done what?" Tifa stands up. "You interfered with that match... that's not a very good thing, you know." "Interfered?!" Tifa blinks. "Hey, your dog boy nearly killed Molly! It's my job to heal people here!" "I don't want to hear your excuses, Ms. Lockheart! This is MY show for tonight! And for tonight, you are suspended!!" "SUSPENDED?!" Tifa blinks. "FOR HEALING MOLLY?! FOR SAVING HER LIFE?!" "Precisely," Ryokami grins. "That's bull!" Tifa shouts as Ryokami walks away. "I'm NOT going to leave, you sick son of a bitch!! YOU HEAR ME! I'M GOING TO DO MY JOB HERE, AND NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP ME!!" Ryokami pauses.. then looks to Tifa. "... Nothing, you said." Nothing?" "That's right, you bastard! Nothing!" Tifa gets right up into Ryokami's face. "I'm not scared of you!" "... You should be..." Ryokami says with an evil grin. "You... should... be." **Commercial Break** As we cut to the Arena, we see Test already in the ring. And "Eroica: Final Movement" is playing while Sanders is on his way down the ramp. BG: Welcome back to reality folks. Our challengers for tonights In-House match are already here and ready to fight. Paul: Good thing too. I love Extreme more than the next guy, but damn!! Tonight's just been insane! BG nods: Well, lets sit back and enjoy what promises to be a great match.
Singles Match Mike Sanders Vs. Test Test and Mike Sanders begin circling each other, looking for a good opening. Mike runs in and they tie up. Sanders then kicks Test in the gut and gives him a series of punches and chops, backing him up to the ropes and clotheslining Test over. Sanders starts taunting as Test gets up. BG: Sanders starting things off her pretty confident. Sanders dives through the ropes and knocks Test down to his back. Mike pulls Test up and rolls him back into the ring. Test is up on his feet as Mike slides in. Test whipping Sanders to the ropes-- Sanders reversing-- Test counters thereversal with a clothesline, knocking Sanders flat. Sanders kicks up only to meet a knife edge chop from Test which staggers him backward. Test grabs him and delivers a Swinging Neckbreaker. Test follows Sanders down with it, converting to a headlock on the mat. Paul: Test showing more technique than was expected. BG: He must have heard all of Sanders' talking and decided to show him up... Test gets to his feet after breaking the headlock and drops and elbow to Sander's back. Mike rolling out of the way, however and avoids it. Test is getting to his feet and Sanders gives him a low Dropkick to the face, knocking him into the ropes. Sanders choking Test hard on the middle rope, now running to the opposite side and jumping on Test's back with that. BG: Landing kinda on Test's lower back. Possibly to take away the big man's lifting ability. Test falls back holding his back in pain. Sanders grabs Test's leg and sets it on the bottom rope. He straddles it and jumps down, landing his butt on the leg. Paul: Not just the back but the legs. That's smart. A play out of Bret Hart's book there. Sanders pulling Test up now, but Test with a despiration shot, punching Sanders in the jaw. Test hobbling a bit, but continues to punch and clubs Sanders in the back of the head. Test standing over Sander's obviously annoyed and ready to put Sanders away. He lifts Mike up to his knees, when Mike splits the uprights, giving Test a low Blow from the front. Test in pain and Sanders gets behind Test and dropkicks him in the knee he was working on earlier. The big man's legs go out and he falls to the ground. Sanders grabs that leg of Test's and locks on a Canadian Mapleleaf!! BG: Test crying out in pain! Paul: Mike was working that leg hard! He had a reson and... There it is! Test tapping out! Winner: Mike Sanders BG: A quick match, but a testiment to the fact that maybe Sanders isn't all talk. Paul: Well, he really showed he had the skills and.. what's this?! BG: Sanders just got back into the ring with a steel chair! He's alamming it into Tests legs! this is too far! Test writhing in pain! Paul: Here comes the Calvalry!! BG: X rushing the ring to help out his brother. Mike being smart and slipping out and getting away. Folks, he may have the skills, but he's still a big sleaze. Paul: Well... I guess now we have to take you back to Hilhurst... **Commercial Break** BG: ...and Mayhem is back, folks. Our next match, live from the cemetary yet again, will be an Inferno Match. A certainly personal one, as Nova faces off against the gigantic mindless monster Grind, who attempted to kill Crysta... Paul: As much of a literal monster that Grind is, he has got to be outmatched by the hardcore hero himself, Nova. With revenge on his mind, Nova would be a force to be reckoned with even by the Justice League. Let's get to the match!! -- Scene switch to the cemetary/ring area, where Nova is walking to the ring, with Crysta, who seems less than comfortable in the RTC Man suit, but she seems to be getting the hang of it... Out in the distance, the monster Grind appears, who climbs into the ring, snorting and drooling as his cold dead eyes look in the direction of Nova and Crysta (the latter he looks at like a cat looks at a can of sardines). After stepping in the ring, flames shoot up on the ring apron...a haunting bell tolls-- *DONG...DONG* Inferno Match Nova vs. Grind Grind charges towards Nova, who leaps up ten feet, vaulting over and hitting the mat, bouncing up higher, springing backwards--and diving downwards at an angle hitting Grind in the chest and towards the corner, nearly dislodging the ring post. Nova leaps up on the turnbuckle, reverse somersaulting off the top rope and DDTing Grind into the mat. BG: INCREDIBLE!! Nova showing off obviously here, spiking Grind nearly straight to hell!! Paul: ...BAW GAHD!! Nova leaps up on the top rope, hitting a Swanton Bomb. Paul: EAT IT, Jeff--Nova does it FAR better. Nova taking to the sky again... As he floats overhead, Nova attempts to fly over the flames--only to be forced back as the wall of flames rises up to block his progress. Nova shrugs it off, and rolls up his sleeves, charging up his devastating Comet Fist... Grind gets up, and turns his head up to see Nova diving down towards him--then THROUGH him, ripping him in half. BG: NOVA SPLITTING GRIND INTO HALVES with that earth shattering move!! Paul: Now Nova going to work--ripping the fire-proof clothing off of the lower body--off the torso no--he no longer has protection from the flames! Grind's lower body kicks Nova in the ass, which he responds with by cutting it down the middle with his eye beam, then grabs each ankle, picking it up with the arms of Grind's torso, spinning around, and whipping the pile of body parts through the wall of flames, catching them ablaze, as they sail off in the distance... *Dong...DONG!* After that, the walls of flame dissipate, and Nova leaps out of the ring, where Crysta gives him a big hug.BG: Well, if nothing else, a DECISIVE victory for Nova...I almost feel sorry for Grind... Paul: Eh, Ryokami can fetch a fire extinguisher and some super glue and patch him together. :P BG: Well, there's more to come on Mayhem!! **Commercial Break** BG: Welcome back fans, and up next, the extremely dangerous--so much so it was banned from all sanctioned EAW events--Hell's Asylum match, featuring Oseiko taking on Anette. Paul: Anette isn't a trained wrestler--she's just a flesh-eating monster out to...*shudder*. You know, even I can't find myself excited about this match... BG: I don't blame you--this isn't a competitive matchup, it's little more than a human cockfight--one of the humans being undead, though... Cut to the EAW-Tron, where we open back at the cemetary...Oseiko and Anette are entering at opposite ends of the cell--no entrance music or introduction of any kind. BG: A literal battle of life and death at hand here, Paul...and considering how Oseiko was on the brink of death before, it seems the odds have gotten none too better. Paul: Well, Oseiko is armed to the teeth now, even if Anette is smarter. She appears to have sais, a katana, a bo, and other ninja weaponry with her now... BG: The cell doors are locked behind them now...and now it begins... Hell's Asylum Match Oseiko Vs. Anette As the doors close, the barbed wire-wrapped bars are electrifyed, and Anette runs across the ring and dives out of the ring towards Oseiko, who uses her bo to block, and monkey-flips Anette away from her--spinning around striking Anette in the windpipe. She's stunned but charges towards Oseiko, grabbing a hold of the weapon and tackling her to the ground, attempting to choke her with it. She drives some knees into Oseiko's midsection, and attempts to claw at her eyes, but Oseiko powers her back, tripping her up. As Anette is off-balance, Oseiko his a charging shotei into her chest--then grabs her waist, scoops her up, and tosses her spine-first into the ringpost. She twirls the weapon around and strikes her in the back of the head, into the face, nails her with hard kicks into the stomach. Oseiko leaps up onto the turnbuckle--down off it as Anette gets on all fours... BG: Oh...geez...sick--Anette's been impaled through the midsection!! Paul: Oseiko turned her into a zombie shish-ka-bob!! BG: Well, it isn't going to kill her, but Anette IS unarmed, apparently not with that palmblade we've seen her wi-- Just then, those blades pop out of her palm--retractable apparently. She then slices off the ends of the bo, and takes one in each hand, and then jumps at and attacks Oseiko with them. She tosses Oseiko into the steel steps, and with concentration, expels the rest of it out of her body. Oseiko gets up as Anette tackles her, clawing at her face, then attempting to do the same with her chest--until Oseiko stabs her in the right eye with one of her sais!! Anette screams as she rolls off Oseiko, trying to pull it out of her eye--does so, but then gets the OTHER sai in the same eye! Oseiko rolls forward, spinbustering her onto the hard ground, and begins to reach into a pouch at her side for those healing potions Austin gave her-- Anette screeches, and grabs the sai she dropped, stabbing Oseiko in the back of her thigh. With Oseiko off balance, she leaps back onto her--and attempts to take a bite out of her lower back. Oseiko uses both arms to reach back and nail her with behind-the-back shoteis before she can tear much further into her body, and rolls forward out of danger, and whips out a shower of sparks--five shurikens then nail Anette in the chest. Anette pulls one out, tossing it at Oseiko, who draws her katana blade and blocks it, and the successive 4 as well. Oseiko charging in for a deathblow, but Anette springs over, reverse kangaroo kicking Oseiko into the cell wall, which electrifies her as her katana touches it. Oseiko, paralyzed in place by the shocking, is then in perfect position as Anette bashes her in the back of the head with a barbed wire chair--the first weapon around the ring she has attempted to use, seeing Oseiko as a meal instead of an opponent in a match. Oseiko falls down onto the ground, coughing a bit, and is caught unaware when-- BG: OSEIKO STABBED THROUGH THE CHEEK WITH THAT BROKEN PIECE OF BO!! Paul: Oh...God...and driven through the other side!! Anette now attemping to take out one of Oseiko's own--I guess Ryokami's version of 'eye for an eye.' BG: SHOTEI IN THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE!! Gross--that would certainly kill most, and Oseiko up--springing on top of Anette grabbing her head-- Oseiko lands behind her, twisting Anette's neck 180 degrees. Anette's arms go limb, and she drops down to her knees-- BG: Maybe I'm wrong, but it looks like Oseiko has indeed-- Paul: NO!! SHE HASN'T!! Anette's arms reach up, grab her head, and twist it back the opposite way it was turned as we hear bones crush and splinter again--while she shuts her eyes. She screams, but then gets back up to her feet, still ready to fight. Oseiko looks a bit stunned, but not overly, as if this was somewhat expected. She grabs the second rope, vaulting up onto the apron and vaulting up and inside of the ring. Anette follows afterward. Oseiko swipes with exceptional quickness, but is caught along the arms and shoulder with Anette's palm-blade, and rushes at Oseiko, shaking off her injuries, and aiming for her heart!!-- Oseiko moves, instead taking the blade near her stomach, but is able to use her other arm to swipe with her katana--slicing off Anette's right leg!! Anette howls in pain again, and then momentarily her left arm is severed, dropping to the mat. BG: OH MY GOD!!! Paul: This match had been costly for Anette...in fact, costing her an arm and a leg! BG: Ha-ha--but this is good news, as Anette is now practically helpless. Paul: Practic-- Anette then jumps at Oseiko, attempting to rip her chest apart, which Oseiko stops with a katana-hilt to the back of the neck, then tosses her at the ropes, tying up her remaining limbs in it... BG: Oseiko is reaching for those vials of potion! It looks as if now the match is in the bag--as well as Anette's un-death. Paul: Uh-oh--not quite... Ryokami rushes towards the ring, with a sledghammer in hand, collapsing the door in with one mighty strike, and sliding into the ring, striking Oseiko in the head as she only pours a little bit of the potion out. Anette screams as small portions of her body steam and sizzle, but the vials hit the mat, pouring out. Ryokami raises and drives the sledgehammer down repeatedly as if Oseiko's body was a group of railroad spikes, pounding her knees, elbows, spine, various areas of her torso, tailbone, femurs, etc. He then frees Anette, freeing her and hugging her gently before carrying her out of the ring... **Commercial Break** **Commmercial Break** BG: Welcome back. EMTs are tending to Oseiko--who should be fine thanks to her healing factor, but we didn't get an official ending to that match, which didn't even really have any counts going on, since neither fighter stayed down at all... Paul: Well, the main event will definitely have a winner--a casket match with the HURRICANE vs. Ryokami!! BG: Well, that could be a good thing or a bad thing--we shall see... -- We go back to the graveyard, as Hurricane and Ryokami wheel in their caskets for this match, both with the lids shut, before climbing inside the ring. The two stare each other down, hatred in their eyes, waiting for the signal... *DONG...DONG...* Casket Match The Hurricane Vs. Ryokami The two begin with a power struggle in the center of the ring, with Hurricane beginning to overpower him--Ryokami headbutts him with his hard, bony forehead, then nailing him with a pail of shoteis to the chest, whipping him to the ropes, and stopping him with a shoulderblock. Ryokami off the ropes again, and catches Helms--drops him with a sleeping neckbreaker! BG: The Dead Sleep by Ryokami on the Hurricane!! Ryokami picks him back up--boosts up and flapjacks him, and he lands throat-first across the bottom rope. BG: Hurricane gagging after Ryokami hits that sinister move. Vaults over--and LEGDROP in the back of the head!! Paul: Grabbing that barbed wire chair left over from the Oseiko/Anette match--BLASTS Hurricane in the faced with it!! Hurricane grabs his head in pain and Ryokami gets inside the ring, picking him up and decking him with boxer like jabs, getting him on the ropes. He then climbs out onto the apron-- BG: Dragon Sleeper applied from the apron, and reaching over--REVERSE VERTICAL SUPLEX--DROPS HIM STOMACH FIRST across that casket he's prepared for Helms! Paul: The insane Anti-Savior climbing up--the TOP ROPE!?! Oh come on, not now, not--MOONSAULT MISSES!!! MOONSAULT MISSES!!!! Hurricane rolling off the casket in time!! Ryokami rolls off the casket lid, and Helms reaches under the ring-- Paul: THE HURRICANE PULLS OUT...A TOMBSTONE!! A TOMBSTONE!! Ryokami getting up--TAKES THE TOMBSTONE FULL IN THE FACE!! Helms drops the tombstone onto Ryokami's stomach, then pulls him up by the hair, vertical suplexing him onto it. He then yanks him up by the arms, attempting to follow up with a crossface halo, but Ryokami reverses, Atomic Dropping Hurricane, then hitting a roundhouse in the back of the head. BG: Ryokami on the comeback, and scooping up Hurricane--and...he can't be going to-- Paul: It's Ryokami, he is going to--TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER ONTO THE TOMBSTONE!!! BG: THE TOMBSTONE SHATTERED ON IMPACT!! Ryokami smiles, then heads for the casket he prepared--throwing it open to reveal it's really an iron maiden!! He picks up Hurricane by the hair, dragging him towards the casket--he sets him up for a suplex onto it, but Hurricane blocks--twice in a row--and suplex counters! Hurricane brushes the pieces of tombstone from his hair, then sets him up near the steps, rushes in--Ryokami blocks the Shining Wizard!! He turns it into an anklelock, then drags Hurricane backwards--and pounds the knee repeatedly into the steel stairs. OVER and OVER and OVER again as he wrenches harder on the anklelock!! Hurricane attempts to turn his body around--then whips his arm forward, tossing a mini-Hurricane that grabs a hold of Ryokami--pulling him off Hurricane--and launching him back-first into a nearby ringpost!! Hurricane then hobbles over to the casket he prepared for Ryokami and lifting the lid--it looks rather normal in the interior. He then grabs Ryokami by the head--and hoists him up in an electric chair--FRONT FACE DROP onto the apron!! Hurricane climbs onto the apron, with difficulty, and grabs Ryokami by the throat--a running CHOKESLAM onto the apron nearly breaks Ryokami in half, and Hurricane prepares to put him in the casket. Elbow shots by Ryokami prevents it--and he slams the lid down on Hurricane's skull!! AGAIN!! Ryokami heads towards his casket, with Hurricane still trying to shake off the damage--and pushes the wheeled cart it rests on with all his might--SANDWICHING Hurricane between the two caskets!!! BG: OOOOOH--Helms compressed between the two caskets--like being between a car being rear-ended. Paul: Ryokami picking him up now--and BACKDROP on the casket lid!! That same move broke Shawn Michaels' back and forced him into retirement!! Ryokami pulls the casket off the cart, and sets it up vertically, opening up the lid... BG: This doesn't look good--Ryokami just needs to put Helms in that casket and slam the lid shut to win this match--Irish Whip--OOOH!! Ryokami now trying to shut the lid--Helms putting his hand on the edge of the lid--kick in the groin by Hurricane--SLAMS THE LID on RYOKAMI'S SKULL!! Paul: Turnabout's fair play... Ryokami pulls his head out of the iron maiden, as Helms scrambles to find a weapon--and does--and knocks his block off with a shovel...he opens the lid of his casket...and using all his strength, does an incredible throwing German Suplex that ends with Ryokami landing in the casket--Hurricane slams the lid shut!! *DONG...DONG* BG: HE DID IT!! HE DID IT!! Hurricane has won the match--wait, what's he doing now? Paul: It looks like he's locking it shut-- Which is what he indeed is doing, then slides open a small door, with a control panel in it... Paul: Since when do caskets have key panels?! Helms hits a few buttons, and, as a whooshing sound is heard, Ryokami pounds on the lid from within--knocking it open a crack, and icy mist pours out-- BG: It's a CRYOGENIC FREEZING CHAMBER!! Just like the ones rich nutjobs keep themselves stored in when they die--and Helms slamming the lid shut--and folding over the edge of the lid to keep it sealed-- Paul: Ryokami not giving it up--slowing down now--and...I think Ryokami's just been turned into a popsicle!! BG: Minus the stick up his ass--and Helms has not only won the match, but trapped Ryokami!! And...ended his reign of terror? Paul: God, I hope so... Location: An uncharted desert isle |