Megan: Live from the Cajundome in Lafayette, Louisiana, it's Wednesday Night Mayhem!! I'm Megan Eko! At my side is Paul Heyman, and we are set for one wild night in the EAW!! I want to take time out to say thank you to everyone who sent me get well wishes! And even though it doesn't really matter to me, go ahead and vote for me as 2002's Hottest Diva! After all, it'll be nice to beat out some of the more scantily clad ladies here. ^^
Suddenly--
MEEOWWW! =^..^=
Paul: What the hell?!
Megan: *giggle* That cute kitty meow and that cute techno pop can only mean one thing... "Cat House!" The theme song of Ariel Bridges!!
Sure enough Ariel runs out the backstage, dropping to her knees and throws her hands up as the fans cheer the youthful kitten-girl!
Paul: MIDGET WRESTLERS!! Oh, I love those little guys! Hey, does this mean Max Mini WASN'T eaten by the Big Show like I was told?!
Megan: Er-- uhm, no, Ariel's really nine years old, Paul. So please be on your good behavior around her or else we'll have Kaye to worry about!
Ariel sure enough skips over to ringside, jumping up onto the commentator's table and puts on a headset, sitting down on her hands and feet in a cat-like pouncing position.
Ariel: HELLO! =^^=
Megan: Hi, Ariel!
Paul: Uh, hi... =/
Ariel: Yaayyy, Megan's back!! *Ariel hugs Megan tight* I missed you!
Megan: *giggle* Well, thanks, Ariel! I'm happy to see you here too! Are you here to see the Kairi/Kane match, sweetie?
Ariel: Yep! =^-^= Kane's gonna win! GO KANE!!
Paul: ... Riight...
"Shine" by Sevendust cues up over "Cat House" and out comes the EAW People's Champion Kairi to a very well-received pop.
Megan: Quite an ovation for the People's Champ!
Paul: I don't particular care if Kane OR Kairi wins this match, either way! But it should be one hell of a fight!!
Megan: Paul, language. We got a child here.
Ariel: =^-^=
Paul: ... Aw, crap. Er, crud.
KRAK-KOOOMMM!!!!
Ariel: YAAYYYY!!! =^-^!=
"A Violent Reaction" plays over the PA as Kane and Christina head out towards the aisle.
Megan: Through hellfire and brimstone!! Here comes the Violent Reactor himself!! Here comes Kane!!!
Paul: The Big Red Machine! Quite possibly one of the best physical athletes this wrestling world has ever seen!! He's got the strength, the speed, and the agility! And if Kairi isn't careful enough, he'll also have the EAW People's Title!!
Kane rolls into the ring, then goes to hold the ropes open for Christina. Christina then walks over to embrace Kane as the Big Red Monster raises his hands upward... then brings them down; Christina throws her head back, looking up into Kane's eyes as the turnbuckles explode with flames.
Paul: Tori must be kicking herself to think she gave up Kane for Sean Waltman of all people.
Ariel: She's stupid. =p
Megan: Hehe... okay, Kane's helping Christina out of the ring... referee Ayane Mitsui has called for the bell! It's time to start the show!
Megan: Both circle each other... Kairi with a testing kick! Kane easily avoids that... it was more like trying to ward off Kane... Kane's advancing! Kairi quickly jumps back-- STIFF kick to Kane's gut!! And-- DDT!!! But-- Kane just sits up! Kairi's anticipated this though! SHARP KICK TO THE SIDE OF KANE'S HEAD KNOCKS KANE BACK TO THE MAT!!
Ariel: Owie! =o.o!=
Paul: Sound strategy from the People's Champion! Don't even try to fight an up-front battle against the likes of Kane because there's no way he can stand up to the Big Red Machine like that!!
Megan: Kane's getting back up... Kairi's measuring Kane-- ROUNDHOUSE KI--NO, KANE CATCHES HIS FOOT!!! SPINS HIM AROUND-- CLOTHESLINE!!! Kairi rolls with it! To his feet! THRUST KICK CATCHES KANE IN THE JAW!!! KANE'S STAGGERED!! KAIRI BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES! SPINNING HEEL KICK! NO!! KANE CATCHES HIM!!! AND-- MODIFIED PUMPHANDLE SLAM!!! MY GOD!!
Paul: Kane's strength is absolutely frightening sometimes!!
Ariel: YAYY!! =^-^=
Megan: Kane picks Kairi up... IRISH WHIP-- NO, KAIRI HANGS ON!! AND-- OHH, FLAPJACK ACE CRUSHER!!! Kairi doesn't let up... grabs Kane by the head and starts to rain punches on him! NO! KANE WEATHERS IT ALL!! HE'S GOT KAIRI BY THE THROAT!! WE COULD BE SEEING A CHOKESLA-- OHH!! AND KAIRI SMACKS KANE UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH ANOTHER STRONG KICK!!! Kairi waits... bides his time... another kick to Kane's head it looks like! He--NO! KANE BLOCKS!! AND THERE'S THE DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP!! KANE HOLDS ON!! HE KICKS AT THE LEG!!! AND AGAIN!!
Paul: Sound strategy in turn by the challenger!! Weaken the source of those powerful kicks and Kane has a better chance at winning!
Ariel: See? Kane's smarter than people think!! =^^=
Megan: Wait! Kairi manages to kick Kane away! He gets up! SWIFT KICK KNOCKS KANE BACK DOWN TO THE MAT!! Kairi quickly acts and-- SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! PIN! ONE! TWO! NO, KANE KICKS OUT!! Kairi's not wasting a moment-- ANOTHER STRONG KICK SENDS KANE DOWN!! Kairi acts and THERE'S THE SPRINGBOARD GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!! ANOTHER PIN! ONE! TWO! NO!! Kane STILL kicks out at two!! Kairi-- AHH! VICIOUS AXE KICK!!! That was strong enough to perhaps knock that mask off of Kane!!
Paul: God forbid we see just how disfigured Kane is tonight!!!
Ariel: =o.o;=
Megan: Every time Kane tries to get up Kairi smacks him with one of his stiff kicks! Kairi's in control of this match! Kane's getting up slowly... Kairi delivers another kick--NO!! KANE BLOCKS IT!! KAIRI THROWS AN OPPOSITE KICK! KANE BLOCKS IT TOO!! KANE SNAPS UP-- UPPERCUT THROAT THRUST TO KAIRI!! KAIRI'S STAGGERED! KAIRI DOUBLES BACK AND-- SPINNING HEEL KICK!! NO!! KANE CATCHES HIM AGAIN!!! SETS UP-- MY GOD!!! POWERDRIVER!!!! RIGHT THERE!!! IT'S OVER! NEW CHAMPION!! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!!!
Ariel: =O.o!= Kairi kicked out?!!
Megan: This is the first time ANYONE'S kicked out of the Powerdriver!!! Christina can't believe it! Neither can Kane!! Kane gets Kairi up... KAIRI SWEEPS KANE OFF HIS FEET! HE STAGGERS TO THE TOP ROPE-- AIR LYGER--NO!! KANE GETS A FOOT UP AND KAIRI EATS KANE'S BOOT!! Kane sits up... he's going to set Kairi up it looks like... chokeslam coming up!! AND--NO! KAIRI AVOIDS KANE'S HAND! GRABS KANE-- BLACK THUNDER!! PIN! ONE! TWO! NO! Kane kicks out!! Kairi quickly moves and-- DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF KANE'S HEAD!! AND... Kane doesn't even react! o.o!
Paul: Ohhh, Kane's pi-- *sees Ariel* Er... angry now!
Ariel: YAYY! GO KANE!! =^-^=
Megan: Kane gets up! Kairi's throwing kick after kick at Kane and Kane's managing to deflect them all!! Kairi throws a punch-- KANE GRABS HIS FIST!!! PULLS HIM IN-- CLOTHESLINE!!! KANE KEEPS A HOLD OF KAIRI'S HAND... LIFTS HIM UP!! AND GRABS HIS NECK!!! CHOKESLAM FROM KANE!!! HERE IT COMES!! WAIT!! KAIRI'S KICKING AT KANE!! TRYING TO FIGHT OUT OF IT RIGHT WHEN KANE HAS HIM UP!!! HE SUCCEEDS!! KANE DROPS KAIRI!! KAIRI KICKS KANE IN THE GUT!! AND-- KAIRI GETS KANE UP-- LYGERSPIKE!!!! LYGERSPIKE!!! KAIRI RETAINS THE PEOPLE'S TITLE!! ONE! TWO!! THR--NO!!! KANE GETS A SHOULDER UP?!!
Ariel: WHEEEE!!! Kane's not gonna lose!!! =^-^!=
Paul: Geez, take a valium, kid... Kane's not out of this fight yet!!
Megan: No he is not!! Kane's sitting up slowly... but KAIRI GETS HIM AGAIN WITH A KICK TO THE HEAD!! He goes up to the top now! Kane slowly gets up... Kairi waits and... KAIRI LAUNCHES UP!! CROSS BODY-- NO!! KANE ROLLS WITH IT!! MODIFIED SMALL PACKAGE!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
Paul: KANE WINS... WITH A SMALL PACKAGE?!
Ariel: YAAYYY!!!! =^-^!!=
Ariel pulls off her headset and leaps up into the ring, hugging Kane as Christina also comes in and hug him, the title awarded him as Kairi sits up to his knees, surprised himself that Kane would use such an unconventional move.
Winner and new EAW People's Champion: Kane
Kairi sighs, then stands up to face the newly crowned champion... then bows to him. Kane nods his head in return, then Kairi turns to leave the ring.
Megan: Who knows now what Kairi will do now that he's no longer champion, but knowing him, he'll most likely finally have some time to spend with his family!
Paul: Ehh, if that's what he wants to do, then maybe he WANTED to lose!
Megan: He wasn't trying to throw the match, Paul! You saw how strong those kicks were! Kairi gave it his all here tonight, but Kane was the better fighter in the end!
Paul: Whatever...
Megan: Don't go away! We'll be right back!
---
**Commercial Break**
We cut back to the announcer's desk where Megan Eko and Paul Heyman are seated...
Megan: Welcome back everyone to Mayhem...and boy do we have a treat for you. Now, as you know, Blink is no longer the Undisputed Champion. However, as a special treat to you...footage at the WWF DOES NOT WANT YOU TO SEE...will be shown here momentarily. So set your VCRs to see this one.
Paul: If fact, if you watch the WWF, you should ONLY tape it--those don't count towards ratings.
Megan: Well, this wasn't SHOWN on WWF TV...here, for the first time it its entirety....
Suddenly, Megan is interrupted as "The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope" by the Bloodhound Gang...
Paul: What in the hell?!
Megan: I don't recognize that theme mus--it's...the SYMBIOTE SQUAD?!?!
Sure enough, out of the entranceway comes the multi-colored and partly drained of their brains--Symbiote Squad. Their tongues hanging out of their mouths like freaky looking neckties.
Paul: Hmm...they're heading over here and...they have flowers?!
Megan: Yes....I think I have an idea of what this is about..but I wonder...
Sure enough, one of the Squad, Brakk, comes over to the table carrying a large bouquet of flowers, and sets it Megan's arms.
Brakk: HELLO!!
Other Symbiotes: HELLO!!
Brakk: My name is Brakk!!
Megan: Um...thank you, Brakk.
Brakk: This are for you...from Rash.
Megan: *reading the card* I see that...well, thank you...
Paul: *one of the symbiotes is sniffing his head* HEY!! GET OUT OF HERE!! This brain is not for eating.
Megan: Well, thank you for these...well, thank Rash--but I need to get on with out program, so...
Brakk: YOU'RE WELCOME!!
Others: YOU'RE WELCOME!!
Paul: *Waiting until they get up the ramp* ....Weird...
Megan: Hehehe...well, as I was saying...from WWF Raw--BEFORE the show that aired--Blink and Jericho for the Undisputed Title!!
Scene switch to the American Airlines Center in Dallas, TX where WWF Raw is taking place. Right now the show is in-between Jakked/Metal and Raw, and it's the perfect moment for the non-sanctioned match between the WWF's Chris Jericho and the current EAW and WWF Unified Champion, the EAW's Blink. We now go to WWF commentators Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
JR: Ladies and gentlemen, we are moments away from the special non-sanctioned match between Y2J Chris Jericho and the current WWF Unified Champion, the EAW World Champion Blink!
King: Oh, come off it, JR! You know Blink legitimately stole the Unified Title from Y2J! And I know Mr. McMahon will make sure justice is done and Jericho wins back what's rightfully his! Though you know for a mutant, that Blink sure looks cute! Woo-hoo!!
JR: Well, we understand Lillian Garcia's with the current WWF Unified Champion at this time... take it away, Lillian!
Scene switch to the backstage, where Lillian is with the lavender-skinned champion herself; Blink's in full ring gear, the EAW title around her waist and both the World Title and WWF Titles about her shoulders.
"I'm here with the EAW and WWF Champion Blink..." she begins. "... And Blink, tonight you'll be facing the former WWF Unified champion Chris Jericho in a rematch for the the very titles you have on your shoulders. The last time you faced Jericho, you defeated him on EAW ground. Now you're going to make your first appearance on WWF television! Aren't you nervous?"
Blink looks to Lillian, then to the camera... she sighs softly before beginning.
"Nervous... am I nervous, Lillian Garcia? Am I nervous that I'm about to walk out for the first and possibly only time onto a WWF arena? Am I nervous that I'm going to face Y2J Chris Jericho, the Lionheart, the Living Legend, for a second time? Am I nervous that Vince McMahon is gonna find a way to screw me over for the WWF Unified Title? Am I nervous?!!" Blink pauses... then nods. "You're damned right I'm nervous."
Blink looks out, hearing the fans cheer for her... most of them behind Blink; half for her fan base in the EAW and half for beating Jericho. "But you know... I'm going to suck it up and I'm gonna give what these fans here in Dallas came to see, and that's a show... a match between two of the best... the best in the EAW and the best in the WWF. Going at it like two wild animals, giving no quarter! And Jericho! Jericho..." she smiles softly. "... Jericho, you egopathic flatscan... you were flattened by the Swingbreaker the last time, don't be surprised if you get hit by it again. Yeah... we're gonna rock this joint, we're gonna rock the American Airlines Center down to its very foundation. And after I make sure the next thing that passes through your mind is your neck jarring up into your skull, I head out to Mayhem... and Nova. Nova, you'll be facing me for the EAW Strap. You're the superhero. You're the man in the plugsuit. You're everything the Hurricane wants to be! Hey, WATUPWITDAT?!!"
The fans cheer loudly as she mocks the Hurricane a little.
"... Nova... yeah, you taught me the Swingbreaker... you taught me the D.D.T., you taught me the Split Second²... but see, I learned a few newer moves along the way... the Swingbomb. The Sneakthrough. The Constrictor. The Deja Vu. Maybe you'll see a few of those moves here tonight, you never know. So take notes, Nova... tonight, you, Jericho, McMahon, the Rock, Austin, Undertaker, Rob Van Dam... everyone here is gonna see just what an EAW World Champion is made out of... tonight, they're gonna believe."
The fans cheer loudly for Blink as she smiles, nodding.
King: Wow! I can hardly hear myself think!!
JR: Blink is certainly the crowd favorite here tonight!
"And on that note, kids? See ya!!" Blink steps back and walks off as "Rise" by the Cult cues up at the end of the promo.
JR: What a response for the EAW/WWF Champion!! Don't you even turn away from that television set folks! For the first time ever! Blink! Jericho! For the WWF Unified Title! It's coming up right now!!
As if on cue the Titantron comes alive with the "Y2J" Countdown!
Finkle: Coming down the aisle! From Winnepeg, Manitoba, Canada! Weighing in at 227 pounds... CHRIS JERICHO!!
King: Look at Y2J, JR! He's none too happy about losing the title to a girl of all thing!!
JR: Yes sir, that cocky swagger of Jericho's is gone here tonight! That can only mean he's all business!
As Jericho hits the ring, "Rise" cues up once more... Jericho turns to the stage, his face in a state of rage as the current WWF Unified Champion comes out, adorned with the three different belts!
Finkle: His opponent! From Miami, Florida! Weighing in at 110 pounds! She is the EAW World Champion, and the WWF Unified Champion... BLINK!!
King: Blink! Blink? What kind of a name is Blink, JR?! That's a body function, not a name! And did Finkle say that right?! 110 pounds?! She weighs less then Spike Dudley!! Heck, she weighs less that most of our Divas!!
JR: No doubt about it, Blink is the most unconventional champion seen anywhere in any wrestling federation, but don't let her size fool you, folks! The little gal's got more fight in her than nature intended and she'll take you to the woodshed in the blink of an eye, no pun intended!
King: More fight than nature intended? That's a given! She's a mutant, JR!
Blink stops at the end of the ramp, unhooking the EAW belt from her waist and giving all three belts to Finkle as he exits the ring. She then gives herself a couple of quick hops before running in and sliding under the ring!
JR: Here we go!! Referee Earl Hebner's called for the bell!!
JR: Jericho charges Blink but Blink anticipates-- NECKBREAKER by the champion!! Jericho staggers up, holding his neck-- and is MET with a dropkick by Blink!! Blink moves in... Jericho counters a grab-- SNAP SUPLEX by the challenger!!
King: No no, JR! Jericho's the legitimate WWF Champion! Blink STOLE the title!
JR: Jericho flies in with a forearm smash and Blink just BARELY avoids that shot! Blink's staggered, Jericho grabs her from behind and THERE'S THE BREAKDOWN!!
King: WOO-HOO! New Champion, JR! Right now!!
JR: Jericho with the pin, BUT he gets only a one count! Jericho quickly moves and starts raining punches down on Blink's temple!! He don't even care he's hitting a girl, no matter how good she is! What a despicable human being!
King: Jericho's just an equal opportunity butt-kicker, JR! Whether it be human or mutant, boy or girl!
JR: Well, Momma always said never to hit a girl... Jericho picks Blink up-- WHOA, BLINK BACK-ROLLS OVER BEHIND JERICHO! REVERSE FACTOR BY BLINK!
King: Nah, that was an Edge O'Matic!! Blink's stealing moves from other WWF Superstars, now!!
JR: Blink grabs Jericho's legs up... LEG DROP TO THE GROIN! SLINGSHOT CATAPULT FOLLOW-UP! BLINK KIPPUPS TO HER FEET AS JERICHO STUMBLES IN-- BACK SHOULDER TOSS! AND THE SO-CALLED LIVING LEGEND IS IN A BAD WAY! BLINK GRABS JERICHO UP, WHIPPING HIM TO THE CORNER! BLINK FOLLOWS UP WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK-- AND JERICHO SPILLS OUT TO THE OUTSIDE!!!
King: AAHH!
JR: Jericho shakes the cobwebs out-- BLINK'S CHARGING IN-- PSYCHE-OUT!!! AND BLINK'S FEET CATCHES JERICHO RIGHT IN THE JAW!!!
King: Now Jericho's one guy who definetly doesn't like feet! Eww!!
JR: Blink's playing to the crowd but that might be a mistake! She goes to Jericho-- OH, JERICHO CLOTHESLINES BLINK RIGHT ON THE TOP ROPE!! Jericho back into the ring at the six-count! Jericho with a stomp to Blink's midsection! Grabs her legs and KICKS AT THAT HAMSTRING!! And ANOTHER STOMP! Blink quickly gets up... she charges in with a running thrust kick! NO, Jericho dodges!! AND--OH, FOREARM SMASH SENDS THE YOUNG MUTANT CHAMPION DOWN!! Jericho picks Blink up... he looks extremely confident now! Irish whip-- NO, BLINK HANGS ON AND-- SNEAKTHROUGH!!!
King: WHAT THE HECK?!
JR: ONE! TWO! NO!! JERICHO SOMEHOW GOT OUT OF THAT IMPRESSIVE MOVE AND-- ... oh, dear God no!!
King: HA HA!! Look who just showed up!! It's the Undertaker!!!
JR: This ain't no co-incidence, folks!! You just know Vince McMahon's got a hand in this!! Jericho sees that and look! He's conveniently distracting the ref! Blink doesn't see the Undertaker!! Blink's kicked in the gut and-- oh, Lord!
King: Here is comes, JR! THE LAST RIDE!!!
JR: AND BLINK JUST LITERALLY BOUNCED OFF THAT CANVAS!!! MAH GOD!!! UNDERTAKER SLIDES BACK OUT OF THE RING!! Now look at Jericho!! He's having a big laugh about this!! He puts a foot on Blink's chest... One... two... thr--NO!!!
King: AHHHH!!! HOW?!!
JR: SOMEHOW, SOME WAY BLINK KICKED OUT AFTER BEING LAID LOW BY THE LAST RIDE!!! JERICHO CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! TAKER CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! AND YOU CAN BE DAMNED SURE VINCE McMAHON ISN'T BELIEVING IT OUT IN THE BACK!!
King: Well, Jericho's not gonna let Blink rest!
JR: Damned sure he won't! Whipped to the ropes and JERICHO WITH A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER TO THE UNIFIED CHAMPION! Blink rolls to her hands and knees... Jericho moves in... OH! LEG SWEEP BY BLINK! AND JERICHO'S TRIPPED! Blink gets up and moves in-- BUT JERICHO INTERCEPTS AND DELIVERS A DDT TO BLINK'S HEAD! Jericho sizing Blink up now... waits-- FACECRUSHER!!! THAT'S THE SET UP-- LIONSAULT!!! LIONSAULT!!!
King: NEW CHAMPION!!
JR: Jericho covers! One! Two! THR--NOO!!
King: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!
JR: BLINK KICKED OUT!! THIS IS ONE TENACIOUS CHAMPION, KING!
King: No way! Hebner's count's too slow!! COUNT FASTER, YOU MORON!
JR: Jericho's getting very fustrated now... sinches Blink up-- BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! Grabs Blink up... whipping her to the corner! And he follows it up-- OH, VICIOUS CHOP TO BLINK'S CHEST!!
King: OUCH, PUNISHING THE PURPLE PUPPIES! Try saying THAT three times fast, JR!
JR: Jericho now with a headlock... no, ROLLING LEG SCISSORS!! SUBMISSION ON BLINK--NO, SHE'S TOO CLOSE TO THE ROPES!
King: No, she's not!
JR: She's plainly got a hand on the lower rope, King! Hebner forcing Jericho to break the hold! Jericho forcing Blink up to her feet... Irish whip--NO, COUTNER BY BLINK! AND BLINK-- SLEEPER HOLD!!! SHE'S GOT THE SLEEPER HOLD LOCKED IN!! NO--JERICHO FORCES BLINK INTO THE CORNER, BREAKING THE HOLD! ARM DRAG OUT OF THE CORNER BY Y2J! BLINK ROLLS TO HER FEET! CHARGING UP ONTO JERICHO'S SHOULDERS! PUNCHES TO HIS SKULL-- ROLLING CRADLE PIN!! ONE! TWO! NO, JERICHO KICKS OUT! AND-- Oh, hell no!!
King: It's WILLIAM REGAL!!
JR: First Undertaker, now Regal! This is too much!! This is becoming a three-on-one affair here for Blink!! WHOA, BLINK WITH THE WHIP TO THE CORNER!! She's setting Jericho up-- YES, CROSS POWERBOMB!! ONE! TWO! TH--NO! UNDERTAKER PULLING HEBNER OUT OF THE RING!! AND REGAL TAKES ADVANTAGE! EUROPEAN UPPERCUT TO BLINK'S JAW! SNAPMARE BY REGAL! WAIT!! BLINK THROWS REGAL OUT-- AND A HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK SENDS AN ADVANCING JERICHO OUT AS WELL!! THIS GIRL'S GOT A LOT OF FIGHT LEFT IN HER!!
King: She's not human, JR! Well, that's obvious, but... geez! She's taken all that punishment but she still has all that fight left!!
JR: Jericho manages to get back into the ring-- AND HE'S MET WITH A KICK RIGHT IN THE FACE!! Blink with the pin! ONE! TWO! NO! JERICHO WON'T GIVE UP EITHER!! GIVE THESE TWO SUPERSTARS FROM TWO DIFFERENT FEDERATIONS CREDIT! THEY'RE GIVING IT THEIR ALL HERE TONIGHT!!
King: I still can't believe how tough this girl is!! She and Jazz should team up or someting!
JR: Blink waits for Jericho to get up... waits... and-- THERE! SWINGBREAKER!!! SWINGBREAKER!!
King: AHHH!
JR: And-- OH, NO! NOW KURT ANGLE'S COMING TO THE RING!!! THIS AIN'T RIGHT!!! BLINK WITH THE COVER!! ONE! TWO! THR-- REGAL PULLS HEBNER OUT OF THE RING!! ANGLE RUNS IN! BLINK SEES HIM! INTERCEPT WITH A KICK-- FAILS-- OH, AND THERE'S THE ANGLE SLAM!!!! DAMMIT!! ANGLE SLIPS OUT AND... OH, no! Y2J LOCKING IN THE WALLS OF JERICHO!!! BLINK'S BEEN THROUGH HELL! SHE'S GOT NO CHOICE BUT TO TAP OUT!!
King: THEN WHY ISN'T SHE TAPPING?!!
JR: SHE'S EXTREMELY TENACIOUS!! SHE'S TRYING TO REACH THE ROPES HERE-- NO, JERICHO PULLS HER RIGHT TO THE CENTER OF THE RING!! BLINK'S IN PAIN AND SHE'S NOT TAPPING!!! SHE'S REFUSING TO TAP AND-- NOW WHAT?!!
King: IT'S Mr. McMAHON!! HE'S RUNNING TO THE RING!!
JR: HE'S RUNNING STRAIGHT TO THE TIMEKEEPER'S TABLE!! AND--
*DING DING DING!*
JR: Oh, come on!!
King: BLINK GAVE UP!!
JR: She did nothing of the sort!! McMahon rang the bell!! Blink wasn't even going to tap and McMahon screwed Blink out of the WWF Unified Title!! DAMMIT!
Winner and New WWF Unified Champion: Chris Jericho
JR: Now the match is over and-- oh now, come on!! Undertaker, Regal, Angle, and Jericho all taking turns in destroying Blink!!
King: HA HA!! Welcome to the WWF!! Now get out!!
JR: This is sick!! This--
Suddenly, the sound of glass shattering is heard!
King: AHHHH!
JR: WHA-- OH MAH GOD!! IT'S AUSTIN!! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!! BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!!!
Austin runs out to the ring with a steel chair! He clobbers Angle with it, then Regal! He drops the chair and kicks Jericho in the gut--
JR: STUNNER!! STUNNER!! STUNNER!!! STEVE AUSTIN HAS JUST CLEARED THE RING AND SAVED THE EAW'S BLINK FROM AN ALL-OUT MUGGING!!!
King: That Rattlesnake's got no business being in the ring, JR!!
JR: Blink has just come to now... oh... oh, man, look at the look she just shot at Austin!
King: Wow! I don't think she appreciated Austin saving her!
JR: Well, word is Blink used to idolize Austin up until Wrestlemania X-7, King... you really can't blame the girl for not trusting Austin!
King: Haha! That's right! DTA! Don't Trust Austin!
Austin looks to Blink... then calls for some beers to be thrown towards him. Austin catches them easily, then hands one to Blink!
JR: Blink... well, she's really confused here... Austin's offering her a beer and she doesn't know what to do with it!
King: Ain't she underaged, though? I mean, she's like, seventeen or eighteen, right?
JR: Austin's got a mic now...
Austin looks to Blink and out to the crowd... then he speaks one word.
"... What?!"
Of course the crowd chants with Austin.
"Y'know... Blink, let Stone Cold understand something here... what?! I said, let Stone Cold understand something... now I hear you used to look up to me. What?! Then all of a sudden I go a little haywire... I give everyone here a little wake-up call! What?! Now you don't trust me! Well, that's all well and good, Blink! That's the first rule of Austin 3:16... DTA! Don't trust anybody! Especially me, Blink. What?! I said... Don't. Trust. Austin!"
King: Ha! What I tell ya!
JR: This is fixin' to turn real ugly real quick here...
"Now I ain't here to beg for forgiveness because Stone Cold Steve Austin don't beg for nothin'! What?!" Austin continues. "I ain't askin' ya to drink a beer with Stone Cold 'cause I know you ain't old enough to drink one! What?! But what I am askin' ya to do, since I just saved your ass from Vince's goons, Blink... is to do me some respect and toast with Stone Cold!"
Blink stares at Austin... then to the fans who all chant "WHAT?!" all around her... she then looks back to Austin... then pops the top to the beer in her hand and crashes it against Austin's. The fans respond with a loud cheer, then Blink takes the mic from Austin.
"You know, Austin..." she starts. "I don't trust you... I don't like you... but after tonight? Maybe... just maybe... I got back a little respect for you."
Blink raises her beer up over her head, nodding to Austin. Austin smirks, then toasts Blink's beer rather messily with her as Austin's theme cues up.
JR: Maybe this is the return of the respect and the admiration Blink has for Stone Cold Steve Austin... maybe not! But one thing's for sure! Blink may not have the WWF Unified Title anymore, but she's still the EAW World Champion! And she's shown the WWF a lot in her first match!!
Blink turns and leaves the ring, walking back up the ramp, but keeping her eyes on Austin, who celebrates by drinking his beers. Blink still has the beer Austin gave her in her hand... noticing it, she stops at the stage. She waves at Austin, getting his attention. She raises the beer up over her head once more, then pivots her head upward and lets the beer fall like a cascade into her mouth, drinking it like Austin does!
JR: ... Maybe Blink's respect for Austin has grown just a little bit already!
King: Or maybe this is the start of Blink's drinking problem!! Eeugh!!
JR: Don't go away, folks! WWF Raw officially starts in just a few moments!!
---
**Commercial Break**
As we return from break...
Paul: Slobberknocker...BBQ sauce...all hell...STONE COLD STONE COLD!!!...
Megan: Excuse Paul here...he seems to be suffering from JR Shock Syndrome.
Paul: BUSINESS IS PICKING *SLAP* OW!!!....thanks, I needed that.
Megan: Anytime. :)
"Gonna Fly Now" powers over the PA, and one Kirk Angel complete with USA regalia, pyros and cock-sure smirk, makes his way to the ring.
Megan: And it looks like Angel's gonna have a shot at, at least, some kind of gold tonight against Ninja X. And while he MAY have given the top members of this fed a run for thier money, Ninja X is no pushover!
Heyman: And a longtime member of the EAW to boot! He knows the ins and outs, the ups and downs, and I am more than sure that he'll have, at least, the experience edge with the ref, among other things...
Megan: Even still, Angel's disturbingly good... he HAS held and defendecd the PWF top title, something what even we at the EAW have to admit is an impressive accomplishment...
"Sinner" fires up, and Ninja X makes his way to the ring, the crowd giving him one hell of a pop along the way. As soon as he hits the ring and the ref's about to start the match... "The One" starts up and Booker One appears on the ramp, mike in hand.
One: Well... to be honest with you, I think that this match is a bit... bland. So I'm changing the rules a little. This is now... a No DQ match! No DQ Extreme Rules... what? You thought I was gonna add more to the match? Nope. Have fun, boys. Put on a good show! I gotta go call my CPA...
Heyman: ... is it just me, or did he do that just to do that?
Megan: I dunno, but this match's mood has indeed changed... and there's the bell!
Heyman: ... and the two tie up anyway! Lookit here, vanilla wrestling match!
Megan: I beg to differ... Angel into the corner.... and a WICKED chop from X! One more... and a clothesline--bulldog! Lots of offense early from the champ! X not capitalizing... instead going out of the ring... and fishing for plunder under the apron! And he's got a trashcan lid! X onto the apron... spring board off of the ropes and Angel KICKS the lid right into his face!
Heyman: Doesn't do much to keep him down, though! X after Angel... tie-up... and an irish whip! X with a high-leg clothesline--MISSED! Turns RIGHT into a belly-to-belly! Flawless Angle--er, Angel!
Megan: I caught that, Paul E. Angel celebrating a little... and picking X up... X tossed out of the ring! Angel follows, taking that trashcan lid with him... shot to X's back! Leaving it there... and HITS a legdrop onto the lid... and X's back! Angel now... camel clutch while sitting on the lid!
Heyman: Innovative idea there... but it's not working too well... X frees himself--mule kick to Angel's stomach... and a SHARP thrust kick puts Angel onto the apron, chest-first! X hopping onto the guardrail... and WHEEL KICK TO ANGEL'S BACK! Shades of Rob! Van! Dam!
Megan: X rolling Angel into the ring... and a springboard moonsault to seal the deal! Pinning predicament!
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ONE!
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TW--kickout!
Heyman: X looking a little miffed there, dragging Angel to his feet... signalling for an X-Plosion! He's got the dragon sleeper cinched in and is lift--ANGEL REVERSING IN MIDAIR! OLYMPIC SLAM! Where the HELL did that come from?!
Megan: No clue! But X is down... but so's Angel! Looks like he's still ailing a bit from that camel clutch from before... Angel's up... and the straps come off! He's going for the Angel Lock--X kicks Angel right in the nose at the last moment! X just saved his title... and Angel's showing us why they call him 'Your Olympic Tomato' in the lockerroom!
Heyman: He bleeds like a stuck pig if you so much as stare at him wrong... wait both of them up and at 'em... tie-up and a toss to the corner by Angel... Angel laying in the strikes... and whips X to the opposite corner... running clothesline RIGHT into X's foot... X onto the top turnbuckle as Angel reels... X SPLASH, baby! Angel gets flattened like a potato pancake!
Megan: X standing... and grabbing Angel! And it looks like he wants to put this one away! He's running for the turnbuckle with Angel in tow... up, around corkscrew TOTAL X-ECUTION! Angel's head bounced off of the mat like a beach ball... and he's down! X going for the pi--
Suddenly, Cypress Hill's "Trouble" cues up and the stage lighting goes green...
Heyman: Heeeeeeey, I wonder who that is?
Megan: If I didn't know any better... X distracted and watching the ramp... but no one's coming! Angel's still there... and he's coming to! Angel's got X... GOING FOR THE ANGEL LOCK--HAS IT! X clawing for the ropes!
Heyman: ... okay, theeeeeere he is!
Megan: ... ohno, SPAZZ! Plowing out of the crowd and into the ring with a pipe... PIPESHOT to Angel's back! ANOTHER! And Spazz picking Angel up--for an Olympic Sla--NO! SIX FEET UNDER *ONTO* NINJA X! GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH SPAZZ?! And he's just... leaving! And the match is still on! No DQ!
Heyman: Hmmm, screwjob... but for who?
Megan: Angel's wrecked, but so is X... Spazz dropped Angel backfirst right onto his lower back! But... it looks like X is stirring... and he drapes an arm over Angel!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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THREE!
Champ retains... but some questions need to be answered, and fast!
Heyman: I wonder if this was, oh, I dunno, a set-up...
Megan: Why do I believe you, Paul E?
Heyman: Because I'm probably right?
Megan: ... heh. Anyway, there's more EAW Mayhem coming your way... NEXT!
**Commercial Break**
"Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Grinspoon cues up as Crash and Savvy makes their way to the ring to a choral of boos. Savvy grabs a mic.
"Everyone will you please be quiet?" She asks as they continue to boo. "Will you please quiet down?"
The crowd starts a "slut" chant. This gets to Savvy. "Don't make me have to tell you to SHUT THE F*CK UP!"
Savvy continues, "Everyone shut their mouths and listen to what my man has to say." She then smiles as she gives Crash the mic.
"Let's cut down to the chase. I'm out here for one reason, and on reas..." Crash is cut off by the chants of "Elroy."
"I've told you losers once, I've told you a million of times, there is no f*cking 'Elroy.' As I was saying, I'm out here for one reason only. MAIKU, the so-called 'God.'"
The crowd boos at the mention of Michael White's alter-ego. "That's right, I'm talking about the Muta-rip off. Hey MAIKU, I'm challenge you to an Extreme Rules match at Cataclysm, for your...no...MINE Extreme Title. And I'm not talking about your average Extreme Rulz match. On the first fall, it's gonna be a regular hardcore match. On the second fall, it's gonna be a-That's right, losers-Flaming Table match. And if you somehow manage to make it that far, you and I will be going off in the Cell to Hell match. The same one Scamdrew and whatever his opponent's name was faced in. At Cataclysm, we're gonna see how much of a 'God' you really are, and I'll restore some credability to that belt."
Crash drops the mic as "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" cues up. He and Savvy exits.
**Commercial Break**
As we come back from commercial, the camera reveals the arena lighting dimmed, with some flashing lights and ominous music as the special steel cage is lowered onto the ring.
Megan: Welcome back to Mayhem everyone, and as you can see, we're getting ready for the cage match between Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Lady Jasmine.
Heyman: For Triple-H, this is just another match in the record books. For Jasmine, this is about honor. But for all of us just watching, this is a match about BRUTALITY!
As soon as the cage is lowered onto the ring, the hard metal sounds of "Primal Concrete Sledge" cue up over the speakers, to a mixed reaction as Hunter makes his entrance.
"The following contest is a special attraction sealed cage match set for one fall. Introducing first, from Greenwich, Connecticut, he stands 6'4 and weighs in at 250 pounds…"The Decedent" Hunter Hearst Helmsley!"
Helmsley makes his way to the ring, looking all business. He gets fewer cheers that he might if he would have Flair or Hera at ringside, but as usual, it doesn't seem to bother Helmsley. As soon as he enters the ring through the cage door, "Primal Concrete Sledge" fades out…
…being replaced with Nine Inch Nails' "Wish", as the Salusian Skunkette makes her way to the ring. The crowd gives her a slightly more positive reaction than they do Hunter.
"And his opponent…hailing from the Royal Palace of the Planet Salusia, she stands 6'5" tall and weighs in at 220 pounds. She is the current and reigning MPRW Regional Heritage Champion…Lady Jasmine!"
Jasmine makes her way to the ring, her eyes staring at Helmsley, and likewise, Helmsley's eyes staring at her. Jasmine walks up the ring steps, handing her MPRW title belt to an official at ringside as she enters the cage. Following her entrance, the cage door is locked shut to prevent entrance or escape from occurring, and the bell rings to begin the match.
The match starts off with Hunter apparently going for a grapple, and Jasmine accepting, but that changes into a knee to the gut of Jasmine by Hunter, who starts trying to work over Jasmine hard, apparently upset about something. Jasmine takes a few hits before fighting back, the two slugging it out for a bit. There's a slight change of pace when Hunter whips Jasmine into the ropes, and on the way back goes to slam her face against the mesh caging. Jasmine is taken down, but before Hunter can capitalize on this, Jasmine uses her tail to trip Helmsley. The two get back on their feet soon, and Helmsley gets caught with a clothesline, which Jasmine follows up with a cover.
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Kickout after one. Helmsley gets up to his feet angry, and gets caught in the gut by a knee by Jasmine. She goes to try to set him up for either a piledriver or a powerbomb, but Hunter counters the move into a back body drop. While Jasmine is down, he goes to work her legs, apparently trying to weaken her base so she can't attempt a lot of her moves. He pulls back with a hard submission hold, Jasmine wincing in pain, but not planning to tap anytime soon. After about 30 seconds, Hunter releases the hold, and starts driving his knee into hers. Jasmine closes her eyes in pain, before punching Hunter HARD in the face. Hunter is caught off guard by the punch and stops attacking, holding his nose. With Hunter distracted, she attempts for her "Meeting of the Minds" move…but before she can pull off the first headbutt, Hunter manages to grab her head and hit her with a hanging vertical suplex, which he floats over into a cover with.
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2
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Kickout by Jasmine. Hunter doesn't waste a second as he grabs Jasmine's head in a headlock while she's still on the mat, wrenching it hard as he gets up to his feet. He seems to be planning to ram her head into the cage…but before he can get started, Jasmine manages to pick Helmsley up while in the headlock and drop him with a modified suplex. Both fighters are down for a bit, but Jasmine manages to get up first, and seems to wait for something. As soon as Helmsley is to his feet, she adjusts her position and catches him in her Scissor Slam move…staying on him for a pin.
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2
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Thr..no, kickout by Helmsley. Jasmine, slightly frustrated, starts stomping at Hunter while he's down, catching him right in his sternum. She goes to pick him up for a military press slam, but Hunter manages to slip behind her and push her hard into the steel cage. While she's dazed, Hunter takes advantage, apparently wanting to end this quick, as he goes for a Pedigree. As soon as she's down, he goes for a pin.
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NO! Jasmine kicks out. And Hunter can't believe it, his frustration apparent as he gets to his feet angrily. He picks Jasmine to try to get another move on her, but quick thinking by Jasmine allows her to stun him with her Cobra Strike move. Trying to turn the tide, she quickly grabs his head with her tail and drops him with the Indiscriminate Justice, following up with a cover of her own.
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THR…NO! Hunter kicks out as well, and Jasmine is in disbelief, much as Hunter was just a few moments ago. As Jasmine gets to her feet, she tries to get him in the same move, but he counters it. This goes back and forth between the two fighters, as they both try to get each other in their own finishers. Finally, they try to break this up with a punch, both having the same idea, and both falling to their backs at the same time. However, the position that they land in has each other with their hand on the other. The referee, making the only call he can, counts a pin.
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THREE!
The bell rings, and the audience is confused.
Megan: Well…this is a first….
Heyman: AAAH! It's Malenko/Guerrero from ECW 1995 all over again! A Double pin!
The referee goes out of the ring to talk with Gary Michael Cappata, and after a minute Gary makes the announcement.
"The referee has just informed me that both Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Lady Jasmine were in pinning prediciments at the same time. Therefore, the referee has ruled that this match is a Double Pinfall.
Heyman: I knew it! That's only the second time I've ever seen that!
Megan: Well, and interesting end to an interesting match, and when…
Before Megan can finish her sentence, the lights in the arena go out. When they come back on, Hunter is no longer in the cage, but on top of it. And with him.
Heyman: IT'S ICEBERG! ICEBERG IS BACK AGAIN, AND IT SEEMS SHE WANTS MORE OF HELMSLEY!
Megan: What in the hell is Iceberg doing? Where's security?
Iceberg smirks, and at the top of her lungs, yells "HEY PAUL…YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME DOWN? WELL BEFORE YOU EVEN ATTEMPT TO, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
Before anything else can be said by anyone, Iceberg sets Hunter up in a powerbomb position, and with great force, powerbombs him off the top of the cage through the Spanish announcer's table. A chant of "Holy Shit" cues in the arena, as "Instruments of Destruction" plays, and Iceberg leaves before Jasmine gets a chance to recover.
**Commercial Break**
We come back as the opening strains of "One Man Army" cues up over the loudspeaker....
Paul: WELCOME EVERYBODY BACK TO THE E.....A......W!!
Megan: I believe that's *my* line, Paul--but ditto.
Paul: Ah yes, my apologizes. Anyhow, we're just minutes away from seeing a former member of Team Extreme, an ECW alumni-turned-EAW star--NOVA--going one-on-one with the champion for a shot at the gold.
Megan: Correct you are...This will actually be Blink's first OFFICIAL title defense, the first actual one being a lucky--if maybe ill-advised--putting up of the EAW Title against Chris Jericho. She's since lost it in a dark match--which you saw at the beginning of this show--but she spent the better part of a week as the Undisputed Champion.
Paul: Although she'll NEVER be the champion that Austin was.
Megan: Paul with some lingering loyalties to the now-defunct Alliance.
Paul: Well, I take it rather personally...
"The following match is scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining. Introducing first, from the Silicon Valley, California...standing 5'10" and weighing in at 220 lbs...the challenger--NOVA!!"
Paul: Nova here to prove he has the stuff of champions...he already has the heart of a HERO! Although he wouldn't dare use his powers again Blink..
Megan: I take it that Nova didn't even acquire them until after leaving ECW, though.
Paul: Damn right--we might still be in business if he did!!
Nova springs over the top rope into the ring, as "One Man Army" fades out...into...
Paul: I truly believe that Blink's living on borrowed time here, or at least her title reign, Nova may very well--
"Rise" by the Cult then cues up, interrupting Paul.
Paul: Ahem, as I was saying, the EXTREME Attitude Wrestling organization needs a truly EXTREME champion to showcase it.
Megan: Apparently you didn't see Blink's match against MAIKU.
Paul: Which she LOST, may I remind you?
Megan: An inarguable point, but by a slim margin.
Paul: It wasn't slim!
Megan: YOU certainly aren't.
Paul: Hmph...
"And his opponent, from Miami, Florida. Standing 5'5" and weighing in at 110 lbs. The EAW World Champion, Blink!!"
Blink appears on the stage, holding up the EAW title proudly...
Paul: 3 title belts the other day, ZERO after tonight--I hope that Blink isn't prone to fits of depression. Of course, I'm sure Eighteen and Mashteh will cure that. I know Eighteen would do it for me!
Megan: Only if you have a VERY vivid imagination. However, need I remind you, Paul, that this match will be under normal rules--so niether Nova or Blink can go all-out on this one, or they'll risk DQ.
Paul: Well, that's just FINE for Blink--then she'll retain--
Megan: Blink wouldn't intentionally get disqualified, though.
Paul: Once Nova is nearly about to polish her off, she will. Remember this is the SAME girl who had to Split Second Ayane on at least one occasion to save a lesser title!
Megan: Good memory Paul, but she seems to have a little more respect for the rules now.
Paul: Suuuuure she does...
*ding, ding*
Megan: A handshake to start things off with champion and challenger....tentative at first--Nova goin--ARMDRAG by Blink! Nova up--anoth--NO, reversal by Nova--hammerlock--back elbow from Blink--escape--Blink to the ropes--Spinning Heel Kick ducked! Nova grabbing her by the ankle now--DRAGON SCREW by Nova!! Pulls her up--spins her around--waistlo--go behind by Blink! Blink tripping up Nova--Indian Death Lock set up now--Blink dropping her waist down as she applies an uncharacteristic submission...back up--DRIVES the knees of Nova into the mat. Nova up--charging knee--BLOCKED by Nova! And--FISHERMAN'S SUPLEX release by Nova!! Unusual at this point in the match, but it shows Nova's quick thinking...
Paul: *ahem* As I was saying...Nova quickly up to both feet....the champion dazed as she gets up--Nova grabs her by the back of the head--Slams the back of her head into the mat!! Hooks the legs!
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ONE!
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Kickout!
Megan: Nova setting up Blink now--front suplex coming up--NO!--blocked by Blink! Going for one on Nova--knee lift by Nova--sends Blink to the ropes--catches--her Samoan Dro--NO!! The Queen Arm Scissors!
Paul: Blink with a brilliant counterattack!! Now standing up--LEGDROP across the arm--pulling up Nova--shoulderblock...sent to the corner...Blink charges in...back elbow by Nova quickly...up to the second rope--Nova springing off--SUNSET FLIP!!
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ONE!
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T--NO! Blink rolling back towards the ropes...pulling herself up--drops her weight across the neck of Nova--
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ONE!
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T--Nova shoving the much-lighter World Champion off.
Megan: Blink pulling up Nova by the hair--Nova blocking the scoop--going for one himself--K DRILL--NO! Blink slipping free--from behind--SHORT TOMBSTONE Piledriver from Blink!!
Paul: Nova nearly had her there, in a move that came SO CLOSE to ending Steve Austin's career..the IRONY!...
Megan: Well, Nova's intent isn't to cripple, but it's the only easy way to get a victory over Blink. She wasn't able to capitalize after that piledriver, however. Blink and Nova up now--Nova hits the ropes--clothesline ducked--Nova off the ropes--DROPKICK by Blink! Nova up again, Blink rolling over his back--waistlock!!--Nova running towards the ropes--German suplex by Bli--NO, Nova holding on!--Blink snaps back-first onto the mat--Nova springs off--splashes on top of Blink!
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ONE!
Kickout! Blink quickly back up...
Paul: Drop Toe Hold by Blink! LEGDROP across the back of the head! But Nova valiantly back up like he hardly felt it--blocks a roundhouse by Blink--Blink off the ropes--SPINNING HEEL KICK from Blink!
Nova up--kick from--CAUGHT--Enzui Giri missed...Nova now...and sets her up!! REVERSE DDT!!!...back up---ANOTHER one!!
Paul: The DDT2!! Nova into the cover!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Kickout by Blink!?
Megan: Blink's had a rough week, facing the WWF's Chris Jericho twice, and now defending her title against Nova here tonight--but she's still got plenty left. Now with a set up--Blink escapes--armwrench now--hook kick to the jaw puts Nova down. Blink now--over Nova--and--LIONSAULT!! Shades of Jericho!
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ONE!
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TWO!!
NO!!!
Paul: But what grace on the execution!! Dare I say she does it better than Jericho himself?
Megan: I would not argue with that. Blink up, but Nova rises quickly as well--front headlock by Blink--repositioning--NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX by Nova--And Blink tumbles over the top rope to the outside!
Paul: And I believe hit her back on the apron in the process. Well, was rather unwise for her to go for that move...
Megan: Nova now looking to fly--off the far ropes--
Paul: It's a bird! It's a plane!--over the top rope--IT'S A TOPE (tow-pay)!!
"E-A-Dub!!! E-A-Dub!! E-A-Dub!!!"
Paul: That's "E-C--"..nevermind..
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2!
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3!
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4!
Megan: Nova and Blink out on the floor here...but Nova cannot win the title on a countout...
Paul: DUH! In ECW, there wasn't a count to worry about..
5!
Megan: But Nova pulling himself back up to his feet...Blink recovering now--Nova charging--BLINK redirecting him--HEAD FIRST INTO THE STAIRS!!
6!
Paul: Blink rolling into the ring now--she's going to win it on a countout!! DAMNIT!!
Megan: I don't think she'd want that...
7!
Paul: But she'd TAKE it!
Megan: Wait--Nova back up--rolling in! Breaks the count--and dragging Blink out--snaps the back of her head down onto the apron!!
Paul: Oooooh...and now up on those steel stairs....I've seen this before, and a LEGDR--Blink moving her head! And Nova..well...RIGHT ON HIS ASS!!
1!
Megan: Blink to the ropes...now looks like Blink is going--PSYCHE OUT!! Blink right back in--and backflip out of the ring onto Nova as he gets up!! Back up now--ramming Nova to the security railing!
2!
Megan: Now back into the ring...Blink now heading up top...Nova up--MOONSAULT by Blink!--and...connects on Nova!! Leg hooked by Blink!
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ONE!
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TWO!
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And NO!!
Paul: The frustration by the world champion clear...she's not quite able to put away Nova...about to ram him face first to the--Nova blocks--FORCE FEEDS the champion some turnbuckle--corning her now--and Nova stomping away into the well-toned midsection of Blink...center of the ring now--Nova charging in--MONKEY FLIP!!--Blink landing right on her upper back...
Megan: But STILL getting up to her feet now...
Paul: Nova back down to the mat--knee to the midsection of Blink--setting her up now--and the SPIN DOCTOR!!! And our Little Miss Can't-Be-Wrong should be wary of that move if she makes it long enough to attempt the Swingbreaker--Nova going up top...and...it's--A FROG SPLASH!! I'd give it 4 stars, but can it get a
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ONE!
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TWO!
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Thr--NO!!
Megan: Nova just incredulous at Blink escaping from that predicament. Pulling the weary champion back up...looks like he's going for an Elevator--But Blink has him in a side headlock now!! Nova standing up--trying to shake her off--BLINK REVERSES INTO A SHOULDER LOCK SWINGING DDT!!
Paul: IN DESPERATION may I add...
Blink rolling on top of Nova now...and
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ONE!
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TWO!
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NO!!!
Paul: The champion dealing with the fight of her life here, and Nova rolling towards the ropes to give him an edge on recovering--Blink crawling towards him now--grabs him by the leg...but still getting up--Blink has him by the ankle--ENZUI GIRI by Nova!! Amazing!! Blink down to one knee--Nova pulling her up--arm drag!! Up again--ramming his shoulder into the chest--now, the--NOVACAINE!!! Nova numbing Blink's pain before finishing the job...now a
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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KICKOUT?!?!
Megan: Blink not succumbing to a shot of Novacaine...but Nova pulling her up--and another shot coming up!!
Paul: And--AH!! Blink with an Atomic Drop!! Nova getting reversed and--SPLIT SECOND!! SPLIT SECOND!! SPLIT SECOND!!
Megan: Blink now hooking Nova...
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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THR--KICKOUT?!?!??!
Paul: *Whew* And even after the Split Second, Blink still a SPLIT SECOND away from victory...
Megan: But unexpected...she'd stopped using that move--a homage to Austin, after losing faith in him. I guess we can determine she's completely forgiven him.
Paul: Bah...remember, DTA--Don't Trust Austin!!
Megan: Blink and Nova now picking themselves off the mat...Nova now with right hands on Blink--Blink blocks a right hand--going for a Crucifix--Nova rolling forward and driving Blink back-first into the mat!! Nova pulling her up now--waistlock--back elbow by Blink reverses--off the ropes--down into the splits--THRUST to the THROAT by Blink!! Blink sending Nova to the ropes--off the near ropes--SWINGING NECK BR--REVERSE SWINGBREAK--Nova from behind!! Racking up Blink--ELEVATOR!!!
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ONE!
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TWO!!
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THR--NO!!!
Paul: And if you'll pardon the pun, no love to be found in that move...
Megan: But Nova countered the Swingbreaker! It wasn't quite enough to put away Blink, however...Nova kippups. Blink getting up dazed...Nova sends her into the corner--BACKSPRING ELBOW--ON TARGET!! Nova up on the top...MOONSAU--wait--BLINK falls onto the top rope!! Nova crotched up top!
Paul: Even Achilles had his heel...and Blink now set to capitalize....and...CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB from the top rope!!
Megan: Blink heading up top herself...very risky..Nova standing up--BLINK OFF THE TO--SPLIT SECOND2!!! Blink rolling intot the cover...
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ONE!
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TWO!
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THREE!!! Blink retains the EAW World Title!
*ding, ding*
Paul: *Bleep* *Bleep* *bleep* it!!!
Megan: Can you TRY to watch the language, Paul. :P
Paul: *ahem* Of course...and the UPMOST congratulations to Blink...
"Rise" by the Cult cues up again...
"The Winner of this match, by pinfall, and STILL EAW World Champion--Blink!"
Megan: Well, we're completely out of time, folks...thank you for tuning in--and this is Megan Eko...
Paul: And Paul Heyman!...
Megan: Signing off. Goodnight everybody!