Some music plays and EAW's logos and colors flash across the screen along with titles of their various shows, like WWE's preshow thing. At the end, a spotlight effect goes across this picture.

---

As the opening sequence pyro fades away, we pan to the ring, where Honey stands waiting for her opponent, popping for the crowd as her entrance music, Drive Me Crazy (The "Stop!" Remix) by Britney Spears plays on in the background.

Road Dogg: WHADDUP-WHADDUP-WHADDUP, Y'ALL!!!!! HIGH CALIBUR IN DA HIZ-OOOOOUSE!!!!!!!! The last show before SPLIT SECOND tears through your homes on PAY-PER-VIEW!!!!!

Monoka: Ugh. Could this little brat BE more annoying? I mean, everything from the sugary smile to those ridiculous "bee tights" right down to her STUPID theme song...

Road Dogg: Well, I'm not gonna defend her choice of theme music, but I think she's a refreshing change for EAW, and she's on the move here in High Calibur! She has a good track record since her debut against Ariel Bridges...

Monoka: Yay. She beat an eleven-year-old CATGIRL. There's an accomplishment.

Road Dogg: I'd ask you to be nice, but it'd obviously be asking too much. Anyway, Honey awaits her opponent, Ryan Kendrick... who should have been out here by now...?

Honey paces back and forth for a bit, and then goes over to the referee, a little confused. The ref shrugs, and then leans over the ropes, talking to the timekeeper and Gary Capetta.

Monoka: Let's drag this out a little MORE, and see if you can get my ears to BLEED from this syrupy teenybopper music! I can't believe the fans aren't BOOING Honey out of the ring on general principle...

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has informed me that due to Ryan Kendrick's absence, the match is being awarded, via forfeit--

"NO!!!!!!" Honey can be heard shouting, even without the benefit of a mic. She calls for a mic, and Capetta hands one to her.

Monoka: Oh, GREAT. The little pop-star wannabe is gonna cut a PROMO?! >_<;;;

"WAIT!!!" Honey shouts, and then looks around, a little embarrassed. "Sorry. But wait. Let's not get too hasty here! It's not FAIR to just end the match before it even BEGINS!"

Road Dogg: Honey showing a bit of competitive spirit, as well as fair play, it seems.

"Listen, Ryan... I know you're a little nervous... I can understand that!" Honey calls to the back. "I was nervous when I first started out... heck, I'm STILL a little nervous to be out here! But I know you don't want to forfeit. It's not fair to either of us, and it's not fair to all these people who paid to see us WRESTLING, not me getting a cheap forfeit win."

Monoka: Aww. The little slugger's being noble. 'Scuse me while I find a barf bag...

Road Dogg: Yeah, y'know, because nobility must be a rather quaint concept for you nWo types. Here comes Ryan now, poking her head out from behind the curtain, looking a little bashful...

"That's good!" Honey encourages, waving Ryan down. "See? It's not so bad..."

Suddenly, a dirty-blonde-haired girl pokes her head out as she, noticing the crowd, immediately runs behind the set.

"C'mon..." Honey pleads. "You can do it..."

Ryan pokes her head out as she then slowly walks to the ring, her nervousness is clearly shown.

Monoka: YES, the men ARE giving catcalls, Ryan. It comes with being a female in this business. Get over it, or go somewhere with a more politically correct vibe.

Ryan now runs to the ring as she then slides inside. "...okay....let's just get this over with..."

Road Dogg: Ryan certainly a little shy with the attention she's getting from the men in the audience, but finally going through with it and climbing into the ring... thattagirl!

Monoka: Did you just say "thattagirl"?! @_@ I should SMACK you for that!

"Everything will be okay," Honey says after putting down the mic. "Let's just do what we came here to do..."

Ryan nods, "Right..."

Honey offers Ryan a handshake as the referee calls for the starting bell. Ryan is a bit cautious as she then decides to accept. Honey and Ryan circle each other as the referee waves for the start, with Honey eying her opponent with a mixture of both competitive spirit and encouragement to the rookie. Ryan is a bit cautious at first but manages to attempt a tie-up, with which Honey manages to get the upper hand at first, locking Ryan in a headlock. Ryan counters with an Irish Whip to the ropes, now wondering what to do next. Honey bounces back from the ropes, swinging at Ryan for a clothesline, which Ryan fearfully ducks, as she drops down to all fours. She sighs, and can be seen mouthing the words, "Darn it, I screwed up again!" as Honey loses her balance! She completely misses Ryan, and wobbles a bit--!

Ryan goes for a roll-up, only to get a 2-count.

Honey kippups, and gives a somewhat surprised to look to her challenger, before grinning and tying up again. Ryan now thinks about her next move, and then goes for a scoop slam, from which Honey rolls over and locks in an STF! Ryan is trapped as she goes for the ropes, but the pain is too much as she almost submits, but she manages to move on to the ropes where she clutches onto the bottom rope. The referee shakes Honey's shoulder, telling her to break up the hold, which she does without an argument. She lifts Ryan up and goes for another Irish Whip, which sends Ryan to the ropes and on the return Honey goes for a swinging neckbreaker, a somewhat new addition to her arsenal! She goes for a pin--!

Ryan manages to kick out at the nick of time!

Undaunted, Honey hoists her up for a powerbomb, and then, not letting go, POWERBOMBS HER AGAIN AND HOLDS FOR THE PIN!!!! Ryan freaks out a little, crying out before the second powerbomb knocks the wind out of her, giving Honey the three-count.

Winner: Honey!

Honey pops a bit for the crowd, and Ryan gets up, making her way out of the ring with a slightly dejected look on her face. Honey looks back, and beckons Ryan back, and raises her arm in a show of respect. They hug, with Honey apparently telling Ryan that she'll do better next time, as High Calibur fades out to its first commercial break.

****COMMERCIALS!****

"Gonna Fly Now" cues up in the arena, to the cheers of the crowd.

Dogg: Wait just a second...can it be?

Monoka: Oh no, not this blowhard...

Out from the entryway comes Kirk Angel... pyrotechnics and all, in an outfit sort of like the Team Angle jumpsuits... only with "American Angels" on it instead.

Dogg: He's back! Former 3 Time PWF Universal Champion... former EAW World Champion, former EAW Tag Team Champion with Erica... he is Kirk Angel, one of the best in the business today!

Monoka: How much did he pay you to say all of that?

Dogg: He didn't, I'm just stating facts.

Monoka: Whatever, I still say you have a few extra pounds of hash for that.

Dogg: And you just have a few extra pounds.

Monoka: HEY!

Dogg: Angel in the ring now...he seems to like how the crowd is cheering him. Now he's got a mic... apparently he has something he wants to say.

"Wow... it's... it's always great to be here in front of a live audience." Kirk says, and a small "ANGEL" chant starts up. He holds up his hand to continue. "Now...as you know I haven't been as active as I was before in EAW...some family things as well as PWF commitments have kept me away from the ring here in EAW. However, rest assured that I am back, and ready to wow like I did once before!"

"Now...I have a few things to get off my chest here. First off: the fact that I am in the Elimination Chamber match for the EAW Triple Crown Championship. Now, I know some of you may think of this as a step down for me... but I don't see it that way. I mean, if Ric Flair could go out and win the United States championship many times after he won the World Championship, then an Olympic Hero like myself can go for Triple Crown gold again, right?"

The fan's reaction doesn't disagree with Angel. He holds up a hand to silence them again.

"However, don't expect me to just be contented with that. Oh no. You see... as you know my sister will be back very soon from her suspension... which I think was WAY too harsh, but I wasn't here so I can't really comment. As I was saying though, she will be able to come back soon... and when she does, the tag teams in this company better be on the lookout! Because we'll soar like eagles, and strike down our prey to obtain the EAW World Tag Team Title belts ONCE AGAIN! Oh it's true..." he begins... and the crowd finishes for him "IT'S DAMN TRUE!"

"Now... there's one more piece of business I want to get down to." Kirk begins, his expression turning serious. "You know... I've changed a little since I first debuted here in EAW. I'm no longer the pompous ass that I used to be... I'm more focused, more in to tune with things... less of a goofball or an egomaniac. HOWEVER... apparently someone wants to take over that spot. I'm talking about one Michael Connelly."

"Broken" by Bruce Dickinson cues up, interrupting Kirk, as Michael appears on the stage. "EXCUUUUUUUUUSE ME?! What provoked that little insult Kurt?--oh pardon me--that would be a compliment, KIRK..." Michael says, as the crowd boos.

"Well, speak of the red headed devil himself." Kirk says with a smirk. "And what insult do you mean... I'm just stated the facts as I see them."

"Facts? Those were clearly opinions, Kirk. Much like my opinion that you should learn a few things from your counterpart--like how you'd look better bald than with a receding hairline," Michael cheap shots Kirk. "I remember a while ago, Kirk... you were the World Champion--now you're an ex-tag champ since your hot-headed sister lost her temper, got herself suspended, and now you're feuding for a secondary title. That looks like a step down to me, Kirk," Michael declares.

Kirk smirks. "Maybe it is... or maybe I'm trying to help continue the legacy of that title. But in any event... last time I remember you, you had people supporting you all the time. Hell, when you won the title, I was the first man to shake your hand. You had a celebration ala Bret Hart's second title win in the ring. Even better than that, because they let fans in the ring to celebrate with you... fans that thought of you as a hero to them. Now from what I'm hearing, you've decided to treat those people who rallied behind you to get a title shot... started to bad-mouth those in the back who supported you... it's strange how we've suddenly done a 180, isn't it?"

"The fans turned on me, Kirk. Just like they turned on the Rock. Who 'in the back' who supported me have I badmouthed? Who, Kirk? Who?" Michael asks.

"Well for one, Hogan. I remember him being in the ring when you won the title, mentioning how you were the future of EAW..." Kirk notes.

"And he was right. Why though, is he greedily holding onto his spotlight in WWE with that Mr. America tripe, and now wants to appear in EAW? He's a glory hog, Kirk. He doesn't wanna give it up. He's nearly fifty, Kirk, and he's not exactly Shaed and still has the ability to 'go' like one of the young talents we have around here," Michael fires back.

"He wants to appear in EAW to end the nWo, Connelly. As for the Mr. America stuff, that's just to piss off Vince McMahon. But enough about that...... you know, I think I know who you remind me of now...." Kirk says, nodding softly.

"Whatever...and who?" Michael asks, tapping his foot.

"Triple H; the non-talented one in the WWE. When something doesn't go as you see fit, you seem to go into this bitter hissy fit until it does... yet try to remain cool and level headed appearance wise."

"I don't think so, Kirk. That partly describes Oseiko, though. Pardon me for speaking out against thinks that obviously are wrong to me. I like the fans that accept me while I still speak my mind. However, for the ones who condone certain people's behavior no matter how wrong it is, or the ones who want my wife to strip naked and pose in Playboy--"

Michael looks to the crowd who cheer.

"SHE ISN'T DOING IT, YOU PERVERTS!!" he yells at them. "For those fans, they can go to hell!"

"You tell people to go to hell for using the first amendment... VERY commendable Michael." Kirk says mockingly, and then rolls his eyes. "You know, my sister was right about you...you're slowly reaching the level that I was before I realized what a asshole I was acting like. You say you're speaking your mind... I say you're just bitter than some people besides you want to see your wife in the nude.

And while I don't condone it or condemn it, if she wanted to, that's her choice. Much as it's these people's choice who to like, and who not to."

"Yeah, your sister who attacked a non-wrestler. Free speech goes both ways, Kirk. You saying you 'don't condone it or condemn it' is a wishy-washy cop out, Kirk. As far as Oseiko posing nude, tell me what you REALLY think!"

"Personally, I..."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT!!" Michael cuts him off. "Akiko and I were telling her that it would taint her image, and we'd think lesser of her for it. Who is more important to you, Kirk? Your family and friends or a few perverted zit-faced teenage boys?"

Kirk rolls his eyes. "Stealing the Rock's gimmicks... oi." he says in a low voice, then looks to Michael. "Personally, I say it's her choice... and my opinion doesn't mean anything in the long run. That's what YOU should realize as well... yet you're acting too much like a spoiled brat with a toy... being WAY to over-protective of it."

"Well, WHOOPIE!! Hooray for you, Kirk. How dare I show concern for my wife's image? If she wants to pose, then fine. When the fans leer at her, yell for her to 'show your tits,' and think of her as only an object, she can live with that choice. Damn me for wanting to stop something like that from happening. I hate it when people refuse to take a stand, only siding with the popular opinion," Michael rebuts. "What if Erica decided to pose? Would you try to talk her out of it?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I'd have to experience it first hand." Kirk says simply. "And you sound as if someone doing that is SUCH a bad thing... at least it's not like Penthouse or something like that. At least they keep a MODICUM of dignity. And Oseiko decided what was best for HER... YOU on the other hand are talking about what you THINK would be best for her, not necessarily what IS."

"What possible benefit could come out of it, Kirk?" Michael asks, matter-of-factly.

"Public exposure. Look at Pamela Anderson, for example. Few people knew about her outside certain circles... Playboy hired her to be a Playmate... she becomes a better-known name. Who knows... for Oseiko, it might lead to even bigger celebrity status... if she had chosen to do it."

"Pamela Anderson? The one who got her fame bouncing up and down on a horribly scripted TV show that was only watched because of the females on it and Hasselhoff's star status--for the Germans, that is? The one who went on to sleep around with every washed-up member of every terrible 80's hair band? Oseiko's already been a star in Japan for her singing, she's a star here for her wrestling, and if she's going to move onto something bigger, like the Rock, who is now a mainstream superstar, there are other ways to do it. The Rock didn't have to pose nude to get a movie role, did he?" Michael replies.

"I don't know... I don't look into things like that with men." Kirk says with a smirk.

"Trust me, if he had, WWE would have told us and hyped it huge. MY POINT is, Kirk, is that I don't see any positives that could come out of it. If Oseiko wants to do it, she's a big girl and she knows the repercussions. She said she wasn't really going to do it but she didn't see anything wrong with it, either," Michael shakes his head. "Maybe some time again you can join me Kirk, when you're through pandering to the fans, and challenge me for the soon-to-be-mine EAW World Championship."

Kirk smirks. "You call it pandering... I call it keeping a bit of myself immortalized. But Michael... we shall see in the near future if you can back up your words. Because I'm DAMN sure ready to get that title back after I achieve Triple Crown glory once again. And Connelly... remember this: egos can grow large... but the larger they get... the harder it hurts when they're shattered."

Michael claps, "Good for you, Kirk... and remember that if you don't look out for yourself in this business, no one else will." He waves Kirk off and heads to the back.

Kirk looks out to the crowd. "Man, did he ever change..." he says before leaving the ring.

****COMMERCIALS!!!****

They both entered the arena to mixed reactions, Mikey being booed by half the crowd and Glenda being cheered on, by the same people in most cases.

Glenda started things off with a series of high impact moves, such as a Clothesline, DDT, Hurrcanrana, and then a Tombstone. When attempting an Irish whip, Mikey reversed it, catching Glenda with a Belly to Belly suplex. HE then gve her a German suplex into a Mexican Pride Pin. Glenda kicked out on 2.

He pulled her up and worked her over with a series of punches and kicks, staggering her and knocking he rover th top rope at one point. She hang on and stood up on the apron, but he yanked her back in. He pulled her up, but she managed a desperation thrust away, taking him off gaurd enough for her to hit him with a DDT. She then started to whip him across the ring, but he countered into a Running Spinning Pin. Glenda kicked out once again in 2.

Glenda managed to get to her feet and take over, giving Mikey a Pumphandle slam followed by a series of stomps and an elbow drop. He rolled out of the way of the elbow drop and got to his feet. He attempted a Superkick, but she ducked under, grabbing him for a One Arm Sidewalk Slam. She continued her attack wth a Choke Toss, Vertical Suplex and a Powerbomb. She pulled him up again, but he broke away from her. He gave her a kick combo ending with a spinning kick, but she ducked under it, ended up behind him and took him down with a Reverse DDT.

She pulled him up but once again he countered, kicking her and going for a Condition Red. He had her in the hold, but before he could lift her up to complete the move, she punched him int he gut, and in this position, speared him into the turnbuckle. He staggered out and to the mat. He began clawing to his feet, grabbing her to pull up. When he was partially up, she locked his head between her egs and signaled for the Jackknife Powerbomb. She lifted him up on her shoulders-- But he let a few punches down to her head and turned it into a Sunset Flip Pin for the Three Count.

Winner: "Code Red" Michael Connelly

Michael rolled from the ring and headed up the ramp, his hand raised in triumph, in spite of some of the crowd booing, having wanted him to lose. Glenda stares at him, partiall angry at the loss, but a bit of respect.

****COMMERCIAL****

Before the participants for the next match can be announced...

NEW WORLD ORDER!

Road Dogg: What is HE doing out here? Didn't he say he WASN'T going to get involved in this next match?!

Monoka: Why do you always assume the worst when that music plays?

Road Dogg: Sorry. Force of habit.

"Superstar" by Saliva cues up, and from the entryway comes the nWo World Heavyweight Champion, David Flair, with the nWo World Title in hand, wearing a black Armani suit. Kelly Connelly-Flair accompanies him, wearing a loose fitting black dress for some reason. Both husband and wife ignore the boos emanating from the crowd, and get into the ring... getting microphones soon after.

"EAW fans... I, the leader of the nWo, have a special announcement to make!" David begins, all smiles right now. "Now, as you know... EAW has tried to dick the nWo since it's inception... from the Doll incident to all the strange challengers for my gold... to the minimal title shots for my family... we haven't been getting the respect we so rightfully deserve."

"But you see, that's all about to change, my nWo-ites! Because my friends... the nWo has acquired the services of one of EAW's prized bookers... who still has an iron clad contract for 5 years as EAW booker... to become the nWo Booking Committee! So Ladies and Gentlemen... please welcome...the nWo Booker!"

As David Flair points to the entryway, "I'm Back"... the theme used by Raw Co-GM Eric Bischoff, cues up. From out of the entryway, wearing black warm-up pants and an nWo T-Shirt, is Chris Waters of the EAW booking staff. He dodges the fans trash that's being thrown at him as he enters the ring, all smiles, and taking a mic for himself.

"Damn, it's good to be back in this ring again!" he says, ignoring the boos from the crowd. "Now, I know you may be wondering WHY I'm in the nWo... quite simply put... I didn't feel like I was getting the respect I deserved like some of the other bookers. So, I decided to make a partial career change... and help better a group that has been getting the shaft!"

"And now, a special announcement..." Waters continues. "You see... as an EAW Booker... I have control over the wrestlers in that I can make them wrestle ANY match at ANY time. And the time? Well... quite simply... it will be the FIRST episode of the nWo's own personal wrestling show, the nWo Extreme Zone!"

David Flair grins out to the crowd. "That's right, the nWo is sponsoring their own show to be run on EAW television circuits. Oh sure, there will be EAW referees calling the matches... but WE make the matches, WE choose the commentators, and WE'LL pick the arena as well! So Waters... where is the first edition of the Extreme Zone going to be held?"

Waters smiles out. "Why, none other than the ORIGINAL home of Extreme, Philadelphia! The First Union Center will be rocking that night!"

David grins. "Waters, I know with you on our side now, there's going to be no stopping us!"

Waters and David shake hands, about to leave... before Kelly picks up her mic. "Um... David, before we leave, I have something I want to say to you..."

David blinks, a little confused. Waters leaves him alone with his wife. "Go ahead Kelly... you can tell me anything."

Kelly takes a deep breath. "Well, you remember how during WrestleMania XIX, we both decided to have a little... fun... during the Hogan/McMahon and Austin/Rock matches?" she begins, seemingly nervous about what she's about to say.

David just looks at her. "Go on... what is it?"

Kelly smiles. "Well, after that night, I was starting to feel a little funny, but I didn't want to say anything. Eventually, I went up to the doctor and..."

David's eyes go wide at this. "Kelly, are you saying....?"

Kelly nods. "David... I'm pregnant. With twins!"

David Flair... is speechless... but the expression on his face says it all... he's overjoyed at this announcement... he quickly hugs his wife with a smile and tears of joy in his eyes... and Kelly hugs back, equally as happy.

After a little celebration in the ring, including David lifting Kelly onto his shoulder for a bit, the two leave the ring, David carefully helping Kelly out, and they go to the back... the announcement getting a buzz from the crowd.

Road Dogg: @_@ Wow.

Monoka: *snif* That... that's so beautiful... Kelly's going to be nWo mother both figuratively AND literally... I-I'm so PROUD...

Road Dogg: You want a tissue?

Monoka: Get away before I smack you...

Road Dogg: ^_^ Hee hee hee!!! We'll back back after this, folks...

****Yet even MORE commercials!!! Sick of 'em yet?****

Dogg: Yo, we're back! And we got our next match!

Monoka: The nWo do hereby present another beatdown on another EAW chump here tonight! Stone Cold Steve Austin will take Mike Sanders and take him from "Above Average" to "Below Par!" Poor Mike Sanders is gonna be S.O.L. And you know what THAT means! WAAAHHH WAAHHHH WAHHHHH!!!

Dogg: We'll see what happens here tonight...

"Heroique" cues up and Mike Sanders heads into the ring, looking to the fans as he slides in. Then the beautiful classical piece from Beethoven gets replaced with the hard-edged music of Disturbed's "Glass Shatters!" Austin heads to the ring in his BMF Walk, sliding in and going to the corners, giving the booing fans the "2 Sweet" gesture instead of the double birds. He then looks to Sanders, glaring at him.

Dogg: This is going to be one hell of a matchup, folks! And with Austin telling David Flair no run-ins... this might actually be a good match!!

Monoka: Austin is the best nWo member we have! He'll show these worthless fans exactly what we're all about!

Dogg: Tie-up... Austin with a back chop! Sanders throws a kick-- AUSTIN BLOCKS!! SANDERS YANKS THE FOOT AWAY! ANOTHER KICK! AUSTIN FIGHTS BACK! IRISH WHIP TO THE CORNER! CLOTHESLINE FOLLOW-UP! AND-- STUNNER--!!! NO! SANDERS BLOCKS AND PUSHES AUSTIN AWAY! DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP! INTO A LEG LOCK! AUSTIN GRABS THE ROPE AND SANDERS BREAKS THE HOLD! Pick up by Sanders-- AND A DDT! Sanders picks up Austin... and Austin fights out!! Austin, KNEES TO SANDERS! TRASHTALKING ADDED! AND A THROWDOWN TO THE MAT!! Sanders gets to his feet-- AUSTIN MEETS HIM WITH A BIRD AND-- STUNNER!!! MY GOD! A STUNNER RIGHT OFF THE BAT!!! AUSTIN WITH THE PIN!!

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Dogg: SANDERS GETS A FOOT ON THE ROPES!! SANDERS GETS UP... AND-- HALF NELSON SUPLEX!! Austin gets up-- BUT GETS MET BY SANDERS' BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Austin staggers up! Sanders advances-- BUT AUSTIN LANDS A RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Austin grabs up Sanders... and SUPLEX-- NO! SANDERS COUNTERS! TURNS AUSTIN AROUND AAANNNNNNNNNNND FALCON ARROW!!!!!!!

Monoka: Dammit, no!!!

Dogg: Don't do nothin'... Austin gets up-- Sanders sizes him up and-- THERE IT IS!!

Dogg: ORANGE CRUSH BOMB!!! AND THE PIN!!

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.THR--!!!

Dogg: NO!! AUSTIN KICKS OUT!!! JUST BARELY!!! AUSTIN NOW.. WHIPPING SANDERS TO THE ROPES! SANDERS-- LEAPING AT AUSTIN BUT AUSTIN DUCKS AND THE REF GETS CLOBBERED ACCIDENTALLY!!! AUSTIN ATTACKS! STUNNER!!!! STUNNER ON SANDERS!!! Austin just noticed the ref is down! He goes down and-- SINGLE LEG CRAB ON SANDERS! Obviously out to wear Sanders down until the ref recovers and--

*BLINK!*

Monoka: WHAT THE HELL?!!

Dogg: BLINK TELEPORTED IN!!! AND SMACKED AUSTIN IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THAT KICK!!! LOOK AT THAT GET-UP SHE'S WEARING!!! AUSTIN STAGGERS UP... AND--

Dogg: STUNNER!!! STUNNER!!! STUNNER ON AUSTIN BY BLINK!! AND SOME TRASHTALKING FROM THE FORMER nWo MEMBER ON AUSTIN!!! AND SHE-- teleports away just like that!! Sanders now, with the pin!

Monoka: NOT LIKE THIS!!!

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THR--!!!

Dogg: AUSTIN-- REVERSES INTO A SMALL PACKAGE?!

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THREE!!!

Dogg: O_O!

Monoka: ^___^ HA HA HA HA!!!! A TWIST ENDING!!!!! STEVE AUSTIN WINS ONE FOR THE nWo DESPITE INTERFERENCE BY THAT PURPLE MUTIE BIMBO BLINK!!!

Dogg: Hey! No using the M-word, okay?

Monoka: Oh, grow up, Jesse. >=p

Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin

Dogg: Still... Blink tried to cost Austin this match! And she and Austin are tag partners!! This makes the tag battle royale most interesting!! Don't go away! We'll be right back, folks!

***LAST COMMERCIAL BREAK! WOOT!!!!!***

We return from the break to find Austin STILL in the ring, celebrating his victory over Sanders! "Glass Shatters" plays on in the background while he taunts the crowd, soaking up every boo with a grin.

Monoka: WHOO! That's the way Austin! You're the best and you know it!

Dogg: We're back, and Stone Cold Steve Austin is STILL in the ring, celebrating his victory over Mike Sanders.

Monoka: Well, why would he need to leave anyway? I mean, his second match of the evening is up in a few minutes, so he should just stay and wait it out!

Dogg: But couldn't he have gone in the back for some more nWo pep talks or something?

Monoka: No need! Austin is going to single-handedly win this bad boy! And then he's gonna beat the crap out of that traitor Blink!

Dogg: That's your opinion...

Monoka: And I'm sticking to it.

Dogg: But there's 3 other teams that have a say in it...

Suddenly, "Rise" starts to cue up from the speakers.

Dogg: ...as well as THIS girl!

Monoka: BOO! THROW HER OUT OF THE ARENA!

Dogg: Austin seeing the girl who almost cost him his match against Sanders earlier... and he's seeing red right now!

Monoka: Can you blame him though? How would YOU feel if that happened to you? Or would you be too drugged out of your mind to notice...

Dogg: I...WOAH! Blink is getting right into Austin's face already! And these two are SUPPOSED to be partners!

Monoka: Austin doesn't need a traitorous partner like her on his side! Look at him just flip her off!

Dogg: This is not a good sign for this match...

Capetta: The Following Contest is a Tag Team Battle Royal for a shot at the EAW World Tag Team Championship! In the ring, at a total combined weight of 351 pounds... Blink and nWo Member Stone Cold Steve Austin!

Dogg: And while Austin and Blink keep fighting amongst themselves... it should be noticed that this type of match is a little different than most tag team battle royals.

Monoka: It's more like a fatal four way match... one member of each team in the ring at all times, elimination by pin fall or over-the-top rope! When one member of a team is eliminated, the team is eliminated! When it gets down to two teams... it's a battle to a pin fall, no time limit... until we have a winner!

Dogg: We have one team in the ring now...and here comes our next competitors!

Heh...heheheh... BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA---
{scrsshht!}
----RRRRROOOOWWWLLLLL!!!!!!!!!

"Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed cues up, and Trish Stratus and Akiko come out of the entryway. Trish doesn't look all herself, and Akiko looks VERY focused, in full Pogo makeup!

Capetta: Team number 2... at a total combined weight of 259 pounds... Akiko Nakano and Trish Stratus... Kyouki Shoujo!

Dogg: The two members of Kyouki Shoujo coming out for their match... a lot of problems in that group in recent weeks...

Monoka: Oh boo-hoo. This just makes the point of how weak EAW is becoming more prevalent.

Dogg: nWo isn't looking that good either... Austin and Blink haven't even noticed that Akiko and Trish are in the ring yet! But for some reason, there's no physicality between Austin and Blink...

Monoka: Austin has more important things to deal with than soiling himself with Purple Bitch...

"Don't Mess With me" by Lil' Kim plays next, and there's a mixed reaction as the next team comes out.

Monoka: Hey... LATINA HEAT!

Dogg: You HAD to do that, didn't you?

Capetta: Introducing next, from San Diego, California... at a total combined weight of 240 pounds...Lexay 2 Sexay & Shakira!

Dogg: This will be the first time we've seen this new team work here in EAW... I don't know how well that they'll work together.

Monoka: Well, they're not nWo... but I have to agree with one thing they said... Latina's need to be represented more! And these two can do it.

Dogg: They certainly have an uphill challenge here, especially...

KRAK-OOOOOOOOOM!

Dogg: Of THIS team...

Capetta: And the final team... at a total combined weight of 445 pounds... Kaye and J.C. Stone... SCORPION'S PYRE!

Monoka: This IS NOT Scorpion's Pyre... this is the NEW Scorpion's Pyre! And we all know how well NEW versions of two-man tag teams do...

Dogg: Don't remind me...I still have bad memories of the NEW New Age Outlaws...Kaye and JC entering the ring...and the Latinas starting with an attack on Kyouki Shoujo!

Monoka: ALL RIGHT! RING IT!

OOC Note: Since I was taking forever to finish this, and I didn't have that much time, I decided to summarize the main points. Sorry about it. Anyway...here we go.

The Latinas, as Monoka puts it, start off the match by pummeling away at both members of Kyouki Shoujo, while Austin pulls JC Stone in the ring to work away on him. The referees eventually get Shakira and Trish in the ring, getting Akiko and Lexay out... as JC starts to get pummeled by Austin. After a bit, Austin seems like he's going to tag in Blink, but just flips her off instead. This proves costly though, as when Austin is close enough, Blink grabs the back of Austin's shirt, allowing her and JC to eliminate Austin and thusly one of the teams.

Eliminated: Stone Cold Steve Austin & Blink

Austin and Blink brawl all the way to the back as the match continues on. Many tags are made through the next part of the match, first Lexay, then Akiko, then Kaye... and then back and forth action. There are some close calls in both pins and over the top rope situations, but for the longest time, none of the three teams get a clear winner.

After about 20 minutes into the match, Lexay manages to knock Trish Stratus out cold while the referee is distracted with Shakira illegally attacking Kaye, the legal person in the ring. Akiko manages to get to Shakira, causing a massive brawl that the referee needs to concentrate on. As he does, suddenly someone who looks EXACTLY like Trish, down to every part of the body painting, gets into the ring, taking Trish out of the ring. When Lexay gets back over to "Trish", Stratus gets a kick into Lexay's gut. She quickly gets up to her feet, and out of NO WHERE gets an F5 onto Lexay! Stratus quickly gets a cover onto Lexay, and gets a three count!

Eliminated: Lexay Too Sexay & Shakira.

The match is now down to Kyouki Shoujo and Scorpion's Pyre, and is down to a pin-fall only match! "Trish" turns around and gets caught in the face by a kick by JC, only to get pinned for a two count. "Trish" manages to get a tag into Akiko... who has seen the switch but doesn't say anything, apparently willing to do whatever it takes to win this match. "Trish" and JC keep battling it out, giving a wrestling clinic with each other, getting a few near falls on each other as they keep on fighting it out. While "Trish" goes to whip JC off the ropes though, JC gets a blind tag to Kaye... causing "Trish" to eventually get blasted with a HARD clothesline by the hot pink machine. However, when the referee is not looking, the REAL Trish switches places with the other Trish again, and gets right on the attack on Kaye when she's not looking. Akiko is smiling like a Cheshire Cat on the apron, and when she gets tagged back into the match, she goes to work on the weakened Kaye...the fake Trish hiding under the ring.

The match progresses much the same way, though Scorpion's Pyre do manage to get a few tags in and out to each other... Kyouki Shoujo, with their third participant that they keep hiding in the switches, getting involved. However, eventually Kaye finally notices... and before they can complete the switch, she takes BOTH Stratus girls and choke-slams them onto the arena floor... even though they're not legal. With them out of the way, it's only a matter of time before the match ends with Kaye hitting the Death Valley Heatwave, followed by a tag to JC... who finishes the match off with the Scorpion Death Lock... causing Akiko to pass out from the pain and get the decision to Scorpion's Pyre!

Winners by KO: Scorpion's Pyre!

Dogg: They did it! The new version of Scorpion's Pyre has pulled out the win! Despite the plan by who I'm GUESSING is Krise Stratus, Scorpion's Pyre have pulled out the victory!

Monoka: Damnit! If it wasn't for Blink being a bitch, Austin would have won this whole thing single-handedly! And the Latina's got screwed over as well!

Dogg: It doesn't matter now, Kaye and JC are going for the tag team titles! Blue Bombers be ready... there's hellfire coming your way! For Monoka Retsu, I'm the D-O-Double G... g'night!

™ & © EAW Inc., 2003