Some music plays and EAW's logos and colors flash across the screen along with titles of their various shows, like WWE's preshow thing. At the end, a spotlight effect goes across this picture.

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Taped Live at the EAW Arena in Seattle Washington!!

We get a fireworks display as the camera pans around the audience, a bit smaller than the huge venues of Riot Rulz an Mayhem, who are cheering.

Road Dogg: Welcome everyone to High Calibur, here in our new location, the brand new EAW Arena! This is the Road Dogg Jesse James!

Monoka Restu: And joining him is Monoka Restu! You're big babe, representing nWo!

Road Dogg: Unfortunately.

Monoka: Watch it, bub.

"Drive Me Crazy (Stop! Remix)" by Britney Spears cues up and "Honey" runs out. She grins and smiles to the crowd. She runs down the ramp, slapping hands for some of the fans holding them out. She rolls up and hops around, obviously excited to be here.

Road Dogg: Cute girl. We don't get a lot of the dark meat.

Monoka: That's not what this is about, DOGG. This is about seeing if she's got what it takes to run with us, the big dogs. We can't let just anyone in this company.

Road Dogg: Well, that's true, but you gotta be so uppity. Not like we're THAT exclusive.

MMEEEEOOOOOOOWWWW! =^..^=

"Cat House" cues up and Ariel shows up and poings out. Kaye is behind her, walking to stand by the ring. Ariel bounces up and down and heads down the ramp, happily popping the crowd. She gets a bigger reaction than Honey, being that she's been around and they know her more.

Road Dogg: And here comes the ever cute, irrepressible Ariel! A lot of people have been looking forward to this.

Monoka: This should be interesting. Let's just hope she stays out of nWo's way.

Ariel and Honey circling. Ariel is all smiles and seems really excited about this. Honey can't help but return the enthusiasm. They tie up... but Ariel suddenly seems to counter slipping around Honey's body in a way that would make Mysterio jealous, and is piggyback on Honey! Honey seems surprised and Ariel springs off of Honey's back, grabbing her head on the way with a modified kind of Diving Reverse DDT. Honey seems more surprised than hurt though as she kicks up to her feet. Ariel bounces off the ropes and jumps for a clothesline, but Honey grabs the catgirl and delivers a sidewalk slam. Honey pulling Ariel up and into a powerbomb-- Ariel hops up from atop Honey's shoulders, down Honey's back into a Sunset flip! And a pin but only a short 2. Honey rolls up to her feet. Ariel giggles, crouching low, ready for anything.

Honey reaches out her hand for a lock up and Ariel takes it. Unfortunately for Ariel, Honey has this in the bag as far as strength and whips Ariel to the ropes, following close behind and knocking Ariel down with a clothesline. The man continues like this, counting back and forth between Ariel (whose style can only be described as Mysterio Times 5) and Honey. Honey is using more power moves, having that advantage over Ariel and brawling type moves. After a few good DDTs, Honey whips Ariel to the corner and sets her up on top. Honey climbs to the top rope with Ariel and delivers a Rolling Powerbomb off the top rope! Ariel is stunned, and laid out on the mat. Honey covers her quick and gets the 3 count!

Winner: "Honey" Heather Lane!

Road Dogg: And "Honey" takes home the victory tonight!

Monoka: *looking up from a magazine* Oh it's over?

Road Dogg: And what's this? Honey helping Ariel up and giving her a big hug! That's great. Honey celebrating as Ariel and Kaye take their leave. Lane showed a great performance with none of the flubs she was afraid of. I'd say she's got a bright career ahead of her.

Monoka: So what's the next match?

Road Dogg rolls his eyes.

**Commercial**

As we return, we see the Doll, dancing into the ring.

Road Dogg: And we're back. Already in the ring and awaiting her opponent is the enigmatic Doll.

Monoka: Has anyone called any nuthouses to see if they're missing anyone?

Road Dogg: Well... the Doll is a bit eccentric but...

Monoka: How about Haunted houses? She's creepy too.

"Rock the Party" by POD cues up and Lexay makes her way out, looking determined as she has been lately.

Monoka: Now here's someone I can get behind. Lexay has shown a lot of improvement... dumping that ugly Stratus and Ari. She'd make a good addition to the nWo, I think.

Road Dogg: Well, you can have her, cuz according to these boos, we don't want her.

Lexay is quick to jump the Doll, but the Doll quickly dances out of the way and slaps Lexay on her way past. Lexay blinks as if to say "You didn't do that." Lexay spears the Doll down and lays down punches. Lexay then pulls the Doll up and gives her the Party Crasher. The Doll is down and pinned.

Winner: Lexay 2 Sexay

Road Dogg: Can't say I'm really surprised... and... there goes the Doll! Back on her feet and dancing away. And Lexay confused as the rest of us.

Monoka: Stay tuned... just one more nothing match before we see some REAL action. Don't go away.

***********

***********

Beethoven's "Eroica" Final Movement, "Heroique" cues up to mixed reaction

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for ONE-FALL! Making his way to the ring, from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 230 pounds--MIKE SANDERS!!!!

Soon after Sanders enters the ring, "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira blares out, and out hops Molly Holly to much cheering from the crowd.

Road Dogg: New entrance music for our girl Mighty Molly, who... is dressed in a pink version of her classic "pre-superheroine" ring attire... A nod back to happier days for Molly, perhaps?

Monoka: Whatever. All I know is that she's MURDERING that belly dance...

Road Dogg: What? I think she's doing a great job... She looks Mighty Fine shakin' those hips to Shakira...

Capetta: And his opponent, from Mobile, Alabama--MOLLY HOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Road Dogg: Heh! Wonder why she's not out in the superhero duds, anyway?

Monoka: *Yawn* Who cares? Let's just get this started so we can move on to a better match...

Road Dogg: Sanders acting like a gentleman, sitting on the middle rope to give Molly easier access to the ring...

Monoka: Yeah, because her wide ass needs all the space it can get...

Road Dogg: ??? That sounds awfully funny, coming from y--

Monoka: STOP right THERE, Dogg... Molly is a chunky-butt. I'm big-and-beautiful. There's a significant difference.

Road Dogg: Heheheh... If you say so... Sanders kissing Molly's hand, and awww... Molly's blushing... Isn't that cute?

Monoka: *sigh* Can someone pass me a bucket... seeing this crap makes me want to barf...

As Molly lifts him to his feet, he sneaks in an Overdrive, and then goes for a Break-Out, and a pin! ONE!.......TWO!..........THR--! Molly kicks out. Woozy, but still in it, she goes for a Valentine Neckbreaker, but Sanders reverses to a reverse DDT--WAIT!!! Molly reverses that into a Springplex, and then she hops over for a Sunset Powerbomb! And there's the Mobile Mangle!!! But Sanders gets to the ropes. As they both get to their feet, Sanders goes for the Agonizer, but Molly reverses it and then hits the top turnbuckle for a Molly-Go-Round and the pin!

Winner: Molly Holly!

Sanders scowls slightly as he gets up, but it soon evaporates, and he once again kisses Molly's hand, before raising it in a gentlemanly fashion.

Road Dogg: Sanders taking the loss in stride, and Molly being a gracious champion...

Monoka: Can we go to commercial now?

Road Dogg: *sigh*

*Last Commercial! FINALLY!*

Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" cues up, and the crowd is on its feet for the mysterious vigilante wrestler.

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one-fall! Making his way to the ring, of unknown origin, the BLACK SCORPIOOOOOON!!!!!!!

Road Dogg: The 'Scorpion coming into this match with much love from the crowd...

Monoka: It sickens me how biased this crowd is... Cheering a man who is too cowardly to show his face against his opponent...

Road Dogg: You mean like David Flair did before stealing Eighteen's World Title?

Monoka: ...You better watch it, Dogg...

Road Dogg: Heheheheh... The Black Scorpion getting into the ring now, pacing back and forth like a caged animal now as he waits for his opponent... He probably can't wait to get his hands on Hart...

N-N-New World Order!

"One Step Closer" by Linkin Park signals the arrival of the Hitman, who ignores the boos and gets into the ring, staring down the Black Scorpion...

Capetta: And his opponent, from Calgary, Alberta, weighing 235 pounds--BRET "THE HITMAAAAAAN" HART, of the nWo!

Monoka: Feh. I could have done a better job of introducing our man Bret than THAT...

Bret and the 'Scorpion lock up at first, but Hart gets the first advantage with a Sidewalk Slam and then a few stomps to the chest while the 'Scorpion is down. He goes for a chokehold, but the referee breaks it up, and the Black Scorpion gets to his feet, to be Irish Whipped into the ropes--but he counters Hart on the return with a backbreaker! From there the Black Scorpion begins working on the back, applying submissions and countless kicks, punches, and even headbutts to Bret's back area... An Irish Whip to the turnbuckle sends Bret writhing as his spine connects with it HARD, but he gets an elbow to the Black Scorpion's jaw to counter the follow-up clothesline. From there Hart applies a Vertical Suplex (a little shaky since his back has been worked on), a side Russian Leg Sweep, and a Backbreaker... but his Elbow Drop from the second rope is avoided when the Black Scorpion rolls out of the way.

At that moment, Bullwhip and "Stylin'" Erik O'Reily sprint down the ramp, but before they get to the ring, both of them are attacked with baseball bats from people dressed in identical Black Scorpion attire from the crowd... Bret watches, wide-eyed, and then points an accusing finger at the other Scorpions, before being rolled up by his opponent and counted for the one-two-Hart kicks out!!! He tries get the Black Scorpion with a Ringpost Figure Four Leglock, but it's countered--and the Black Scorpion zips in with the DEATH LOCK!!!! Hart taps!!!!

Winner: The Black Scorpion!

Monoka: Hey! That's not right! Hart was unfairly distracted!!!

Road Dogg: Well, Erik and Bullwhip were about try and interrupt on Bret's behalf...

Monoka: Hmph. You don't know that... They were probably there to cheer him on...

Road Dogg: Wait a minute... what's this? The rest of the nWo cavalry? Minus Flair and Blink, though... Are they out here to console Hart, I wonder?

Monoka: I don't like your tone, Dogg... Now if you'll excuse me...

Road Dogg: My announce "partner" leaving me to get into the ring... and she blindsides the Black Scorpion!!!! Monoka and the Hitman, stomping away at the Black Scorpion!!! Trying to pull back that mask now... Glenda and Akira attacking the two Scorpions that took out O'Reily and Bullwhip... WAIT! WHAT'S THIS?! MORE Black Scorpions!!!!! Coming in from the crowd before Monoka and Hart can unmask the Scorpion in the ring, overpowering the nWo!!! Geez, how many of them are there? Taking out Monoka and Hart with baseball bats now!!!! The rest of the nWo are fleeing with their tails tucked between their legs!!! FOLKS!!! We're OUTTA TIME!!!!! For Monoka Restu, this is the Road Doggy Dogg, signing off High Calibur!!!!!!!!!!

™ & © EAW Inc., 2003