Some music plays and EAW's logos and colors flash across the screen along with titles of their various shows, like WWE's preshow thing. At the end, a spotlight effect goes across this picture.

---

Road Dogg: OH YOU DIDN'T KNOOO-O-OOOW! YO' ASS BETTAH CALL SOME-BAH-DAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

The familiar guitar strains from Dogg's classic New Age Outlaws music accompany this declaration, and then fade into "Stick 'Em Up" by Quarashi as one half of the announce team jives his way down the ramp and hops on top of the play-by-table to the appreciative cheers of the thousands in attendance.

"Cherry Bomb" by Shonen Knife blasts on the speakers, as Akiko bops down the ramp, saluting to the fans and grinning like a devil as she joins Dogg at the play-by-play table.

Road Dogg: YOU DAMN RIGHT! You see it's me, it's me, IT'S THAT D-O-Double-G!!!! Rollin' once again wit' dat A-to-the-KINKY-O!!!!!!!!! Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages... Extreme Attitude Wrestling Peeerrrrr-ROUDLY BRINGS TO YOU....! The BEST!! DAMN!!!! B-Rate Wrestling Show ANYWHERE----HIIIIIIIGH CALIBUUUUUUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With that, the pyro blasts off, and our show is set on its way.

Akiko: Havin' fun, Dogg?

Road Dogg: When we're here for HC, ALWAYS. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our show. We've got a great card lined up for y'all tonight, with some babes in action to start, what promises to be a stellar Tournament Match, a tag team match between the oh-so-weird S&M and the oh-so-hated nWo, not to mention a main event that I'm sure Akiko will be watching with keen interest...

Akiko: If only to see Mikey flush that piece of shit nWo ass-goblin Erik down the toilet, where he belongs...Well, let's get to our first match!

Road Dogg: Indeed. Let's.

"Bodies [xXx Virena Mix]" by Drowning Pool cues, to mixed reaction.

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one-fall! Making her way to the ring from Los Angeles, California, VIOLETTE!!!!!!!!!

"Bullets" by Creed picks up, and the crowd erupts in deafening cheers.

Capetta: And her opponent, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, ERICA ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!

Road Dogg: Violette and Erica locking up now as the referee calls for the bell, and there they go through a series of cruiserweight moves. Erica getting the upperhand in the early going, but Violette looks like she's had enough of that and starts slugging away.

Akiko: Erica answering back now, and they're trading blows back and forth. This is a situation Erica doesn't want to be in, Dogg. When it comes to straight-up brawling, Violette has the upperhand. She's taller, stronger, and more experienced with this method. If Erica wants to have the advantage, she'll stay in her element and use her technical expertise...

Road Dogg: That's right, Akiko, and from the looks of that Rolling Leg Scissors, Erica has the same thing on her mind. There she goes now with a Buffalo Sleeper, but she has to break it as Violette gets to the ropes.

Akiko: And Violette with a Purple Mist attack that dazes Erica as they get up, and following it with a Full Nelson Driver. There she goes now, locking in the Sharpshooter on Erica, whose reaching for the ropes now--no, Violette dragging her to the center of the ring now, still holding that submission locked in tight...

Road Dogg: But the younger of the Angels showing her resiliency as she muscles her up and over to the ropes once more, oh... but she's still too far away, and still Violette keeps her grounded firmly in the center of the ring. This match could be over before it really even starts if Erica can't find a way out of that 'Shooter....

Akiko: It's early yet, Dogg. The fans behind her now, chanting the name of her dearly departed friend Suzuko, now, and from the look on her face, it seems to be working to her advantage!

"SUZUKO! SUZUKO! SUZUKO!"

Road Dogg: Erica nodding to the fans, but she hardly needs the reminder, it seems. She's straightening out those arms now, LIFTING HERSELF UP AND REVERSING THE LEVERAGE ON THE 'SHOOTER! SHE'S MUSCLING HER WAY UP AND OUT OF IT!!!!

Akiko: We'll see if she's put herself past the pain now, as Violette hits that Phoenix Arrow--OH! Erica still a little weak from that Sharpshooter, so that Phoenix Arrow planted hard! Violette going for a powerbomb now, and another, and another... and finishing off that Final Encounter now as she executes the Flatliner! Oh, and Erica looks dead from that impact....

Road Dogg: Violette seems to think so too, as she climbs to the top turnbuckle now, prepping for the Swanton--and there she goes........NO!!!!!! ERICA ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY AT LAST POSSIBLE INSTANT!!!!! VIOLETTE HITS THE BACK OF HER NECK AND HEAD ON BARE CANVAS!!!!!!!!!

Akiko: Erica sizing up Violette as the purple haired bimbo gets to her feet now--HAMMER OF JUSTICE!!!!!!! A little on the shaky side, but it connected nonetheless, and Erica going for a pin now--!
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ONE!!!
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TWO!!!!!
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Violette with the shoulder up!

Road Dogg: Erica raising her opponent to her feet now, setting up an Emerald Fusion, but Violette slips out of it and manages a Full Nelson Driver! Lifting Erica back to her feet now, raising her up--MILITARY PRESS SLAM!!!!! And a pin--!

Akiko: But Erica powering out after two! Violette seems to be a little annoyed at that, as she sets up for a Tiger Bomb, but Erica's giving her no business on that! She gets out before the Tiger Bomb can be set, and--39 Fire Spin! Up to the turnbuckle quickly now, AND A SPINNING VERTICAL SPLASH!!!!!!!!!

Road Dogg: Rolling up Violette for the pin yet again...OH, but Violette kicks out before TWO even! She's up on her feet in an instant, and shoves Erica back to the corner--AND CLOSES THE DISTANCE WITH A GORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akiko: Hmph. Well, at least we don't have Heyman here, screaming it in our ears several times after the fact. Violette driving her elbow into Erica as she lay in the corner, dazed, rushing to the opposite corner, and then back for the Bronco Buster----!

Road Dogg: Ohhhhhh... And that certainly looks compromising on both their parts. Heheheheheh... Although it looks a lot less disturbing than when X-Pac does it.

Akiko: Isn't he going by Syxx-Pac now? Anyway, I don't see the point of this move. I mean, Erica doesn't really have any damage from it, as that Gutwrench Suplex demonstrates! Erica back up on her game now with another Hammer of Justice----

Road Dogg: NO! HOW THE HECK DID VIOLETTE MANAGE TO REVERSE A HAMMER OF JUSTICE INTO A DDT?!?!!

Akiko: O.O!!!! Niiiiiice. Violette going to ropes fast now, and PHOENIX-SAULT ONTO ERICA ANGEL'S PRONE FORM!!!!!!!!! HOOKING THE LEG NOW, THERE'S THE PIN--!!!!
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ONE!!!!!!
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TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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THREE!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ERICA GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Road Dogg: And Violette boasting now, not realizing that the match isn't over yet... The ref informing her that Erica kicked out... And boy, she looks pissed now...

Akiko: Boo-freakin'-hoo. Looks like she'll have to work a little more then... Lifting Erica up now in a Fireman's Carry, ready to deliver the Frost Bite.... AND WHAAAAAM!!!!!! I hate to say it, folks, but it looks like Suzuko's memory will have to wait just a little longer, because Erica is all but out from this one...

Road Dogg: ....Yeah. Violette pretty much has her where she wants her now... waitaminute.... um... why isn't she--? She's carrying Erica with her to the top turnbuckle! She's not through yet! Violette wants to put the exclamation point on this match!!! She's setting up a Top Rope Powerbomb!!!

Akiko: OHHHHHH!!!!!!!! BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Erica yanks free and improvises an X-Factor from the top! I don't even know HOW she managed that, but it looks to have gotten the job done!

Road Dogg: Dragging Violette to the center of the ring now, Erica pointing out to the Heaven's now...

"FOR YOU, SUZUKO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Erica shouts at the top of her lungs.

Akiko: ERICA WITH A TWIST-LOCK ON VIOLETTE!!!!!!!!! Paying homage to her departed friend with that submission, and look at the fire in her eyes!!!! SHE'S SCREAMING FOR VIOLETTE TO TAP!!!! SUZUKO'S TWIST-LOCK!!!!!!!

Road Dogg: And there she goes....!

*ding, ding*

Capetta: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner by submission--ERICAAAAA ANGEEEEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akiko: Erica with a hard-fought victory there... Whatta match, Dogg.

Road Dogg: A powerful effort from both of these wrestlers, to be sure. Well, stay tuned, ladies and gents, High Calibur will return after these commercials!

"Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie cues and X walks out, looking about and popping for the crowd as he makes his way to the ring. The crowd gives him a decent cheer, showing that he's pretty popular.

Capetta: The following match is for the World Championship Tournament! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 226 lbs., from LA, X!!!

Road Dogg: Well, X definitely looks ready for this! He's been trainin' and trainin', gettin' ready, cuz this is gonna be a big one for his career. If he wins, not only can he say he beat Austin, but he'll go forward in the tournament to the Semi-Finals! In fact, he'll be taking on you, Akiko.

Akiko: Well, that's as far as he's gonna go. You know, I kinda like him for this match. He's really been focused. I mean, did you see him turning down all those girls?! He's got his mind on what's important, Road Dogg.

Road Dogg: Well... you know, he is single, Akiko. And you two might make a cute couple. Despite you being a total oddball, you two have stuff in common.

Akiko: Hehe, you think. ^__^ ... Guh! I mean, NO! I don't want Jenna's sloppy seconds... Besides... after someone like Jenna... what would he want with me. ^^;;

*KRAAAA-AAAAASH!!!!*

"Glass Shatters" by Disturbed cues and Austin stomps out and down the ramp with his usual no nonsense manner. The crowd roars as he storms the ring. He stares X down as he walks past him to climb a ringpost and salute the crowd. He does this again and again for his Four Post Salute.

Capetta: And his opponent, from Victoria, TX, weighing in at 241 lbs, Stone Cold Steve Austin!!!

Road Dogg: Well, training and determination or not, X is still up against a veritable monster in our business. And no, I don't mean that in a McMahonian sense, that Austin is a dull, slow Hoss. But that he's a juggernaught that can plow through anything.

Akiko: Or whack through anything. ^^;; *She fingers her head*

X starts off, grabbing Austin and whipping him. But Austin reverses the whip. X, however, still counters, coming back at Austin with a clothesline. With Austin down, X hops the turnbuckle and goes for a moonsault. Austin gets out of the way, however. As they both get to their feet, Austin grabs X from behind and gives him a belly to back takedown, getting on top of him, raining down punches.

X kicks Austin off him and whips him to a corner, planting a thrust kick to Austin's face. Austin drops in the corner and X begins to stomp mudholes. He pulls Austin up and gives him a Northern Lights Driver. He goes for the pin.
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Kickout!

X pulls Austin up, but Austin kicks X in the gut and gives him a Spinebuster. X stumbles up in pain and right into a gutkick and a Stunner!! Austin makes the cover.
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Kickout!!

X kicked out of a Stunner! He struggles up to his knees and gets punched and attacked by Austin. After some rough attacks from Austin, X manages to duck a clothesline. When Austin spins around, X kicks him in the gut and gives him a Pumphandle Spike! He covers...
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NO!

X looks frustrated and climbs the turnbuckle, hitting a moonsault and another cover.
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NO!!!!

Austin is up again. X pulls Austin to his feet... and Austin hits a surge of energy, kicking him and planting another Stunner! Austin makes the pin after trashtalking.
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3!!!

Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin!

Road Dogg: Austin did it!

Akiko: Yeah, but X put up a helluva fight!

X sighs and rolls out of the ring, heading up the ramp to the back. Austin gets a few beers tossed to him which he drinks messilly. X turns back for a moment at the stage and Austin toasts him. X smirks and heads to the back as Austin celebrates.

Akiko: And we'll be right back after these commercials for a special interview!

When we return, Akiko is in the ring, holding a mic. "Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time, I would like to introduce a special guest to talk with us tonight. Please give it up for..." makes a gravelly, McMahon voice, "Trrrrish! Stratus!!"

With that, the lights go off and the opening riff of Godsmack's "Awake" blares on the speakers. Trish, decked out in her usual blue denim carpenter pants, pink Hardyz-symbol baby-tee, and a single black shredded arm hose on her left arm, hops onto the ramp headbanging vigorously. Under the black-lights, ghost-like patterns enshroud her face, chest, and arms, which disappear as the normal lighting cuts back in, and she then skips her way down the aisle, saluting the crowd to the left and right of her before sliding into the ring.

She high-fives Akiko and poses for the crowd a little bit as they roar their appreciation.

AKiko grins, doing a Scott Hall double arm point. When it's all died down she ahems into the mic. "OK, Trish. You've certainly begun to make a splash. I know you were nervous about how people perceived you. How about now?"

Trish smiles broadly as she takes the mic. "I'm just blown away by all of this. Yeah, I was a little nervous at first... I had a pretty large shadow looming over me about what people expected Trish Stratus to be... As a matter of fact, that's why I started out All Hallow's Extreme with the nickname 'Trish X'..." She takes a deep breath. "I was worried that people would just see me as 'only' what my WWE counterpart was... and for a long time... that stuck with me."

She smiles again. "When I was set to go up against Kirk last Riot Rulz, I had that same nervous feeling... I know people expected me not to advance, so I hid again, behind another name. An identity with a storied history, to be sure, but it wasn't a history that I'd earned. I won the match, to be sure, and maybe next time Kirk and I lock up, the outcome will be different. But one thing's for sure... I'm not hiding any longer! No more aliases. The X comes off of my name, and I face the world, for better or for worse, as who I really am... TRISH STRATUS!"

She nods appreciatively as the crowd cheers away. "But... enough about me... Akiko... how have you been? You had quite the Tournament journey yourself... advancing over Seven, David Flair, and Bullwhip... You've been through quite the perilous road yourself... bumps and falls, cages, chairshots, and carnage galore!" Trish grins, referring back to last Riot Rulz mostly. "How do you deal with all the pain?"

Akiko grins wide. "You gotta tell the pain who's the boss. You gotta grab pain by the nuts and say 'Look pain! You're not hurtin' me!' And then you kick Flair's scrawny ass and become the EXTRIPLE CHAMPION!!" She points and the camera pans to her two belts, linked together, on the announce table.

"YEAAAAAAH!!!!" Trish cries out, half-crazed. "You tell 'em, 'I'M NOT AFRAID TO GET MY HAIR SET ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!'" She points to her chest, thumping a bit with her fist. "TELL 'EM, 'I'M NOT AFRAID TO GET IMPALED CHEST-FIRST ON A THOUSAND SHINY METAL TACKS!!!!!!!!!'"

Akiko nods, also crazed. "OR THAT IT'S COOL TO BE SMACKED BY A STRAY 3:16 CHAIRSHOT!! I GOT STITCHES!! HAHAHAHAH!!" She hits herself on the top of the head. "Ow... ^___^"

Road Dogg: Yeeeeee.... To borrow a phrase, these two look like they're fixin' to be goofier than pet coons... O_o

Trish stops a second and looks at Akiko. "Hey! I didn't get a 3:16 chairshot..." She pouts a little bit, obviously hamming it up for the audience now.

Road Dogg: Oh, c'mon... you've GOT to be kidding now... Heheheheheh...

Akiko grins. "Well, if you really want one..." She rolls out of the ring and fumbles around under the apron and pulls out... THE chair! She giggles and rolls in. "Where do you wannit? ^_^"

Road Dogg: Uh, okay now, this is startin' to go a bit far... Trish pointing to her head now... I don't know if you've been sharin' in Akiko's hidden stash, but... Aww, c'mon... heheheheheheheh...

Trish nods eagerly, clamping her eyes shut in anticipation.

Akiko rears back and cracks Trish one on the head.

Road Dogg: OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!!! That hurt just WATCHING IT!!!!!!!!!! Trish looks like she's having a little trouble keeping her balance now, and... Akiko handing HER the chair now?! The hell...?

Trish raises the chair and blasts Akiko atop her toboggan, and then wobbles a little bit, still woozy from the shot she took from the HC announcer a moment earlier.

Road Dogg: Trish handing the chair back to Akiko now... Don't tell me she wants her to whack her AGAIN... Oh my God! *guffaws loudly* THIS IS TOO FUNNY FOR WORDS ALMOST!!!!!!

Trish clenches her teeth in a half-grimace, half smile as she waits for Akiko to crack her over the head again...

Akiko cracks her. Trish takes the chair and then cracks Akiko back. Then Akiko calls for another chair! She eeks as about 6 chairs fly from the crowd. She laughs and starts sorting through them like she's checking for the PERFECT chair, testing weight and everything. Trish giggles as Akiko picks just the right one.

Road Dogg: You mean.. they're gonna duel!

Trish and Akiko grin and start facing off, circling a bit and tapping chairs together. Akiko swings her and Trish parries it. Trish thrusts and Akiko dodges. Akiko puts the mic right up to her mouth. "Trish..." Heavy breathing, "It is your destiny... vwooom! Vwoom!" She swings the chair.

Trish holds out her chair in much the same manner as Count Dooku from Star Wars Episode 2. "You must join me, Obi-Wan... and together... WE WILL DESTROY THE SITH!!!!"

Road Dogg: Okay... Now I'm officially creeped out... Trish does that Christopher Lee voice a little TOO WELL, folks...

Trish then does a spin and jabs her chair toward Akiko in a dainty fencing form, a la Three Musketeers.

N-NEW-NEW-NEW WORLD ORDER!!!!

Suddenly, they're interrupted by the "nWo Anthem." Akiko blinks, looking up to the entrances. And out struts Erik. He's got on some shades and his ring gear. He looks up to them and chuckles.

Road Dogg: Now what the hell is this punk kid doing out here? He's not due to be out here for another two matches! Kanyon hit it on the head when he said Erik comes too soon...

Trish rolls her eyes and sighs. Under her breath, just barely audible to the camera but not to audience in attendance, she mutters, "Always somebody to spoil our fun..."

Akiko just frowns as she and Trish stand in the ring.

Erik soon climbs in and he's got a mic of his own, with the nWo logo on it. "Well, this looks like lots of fun. Trish and Akiko. You know, you should be careful. Akiko, you keep saying you're not gay, but here you are doing this to Trish. We all know that you get your sexual pleasure from hardcore violence." He chuckles. "I remember when you gave me those whacks with a kendo stick at the training center. I could swear I saw your knees trembling like you were going to orgasm."

Road Dogg: See, kids, this is what we characterize as "Denial." Say it with me noooow... "DE-NI-AAAAL." Typically this affliction strikes losers with small weeners whose only method of getting action is forcing themselves unwantedly on women who hopelessly outclass them... It makes them THINK they are cool, that they have the moves, but tragically it causes them to be the only ones in their sphere of influence NOT to see just how much of a "dorkchop" they really are, to steal a phrase from late-nineties era Edge and Christian...

Trish just shrugs and looks at Akiko, with a questioning expression on her face, as waiting for confirmation for something...

Akiko looks back and nods. Then, with a lightning fast swing on both ends.... Erik is sandwiched between their chairs!

Road Dogg: OHHHHH!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!!!!!!!!! CON-CHAIR-TO FROM TRISH AND AKIKO ON "STYLIN'" ERIK O'REILY!!!!!!!!!! Good God, that was beautiful... Hey... that's really weird... I just mentioned Edge and Christian, and then from out of nowhere THIS happens! Weird. Some random nWo goons out now to collect Erik's sorry ass, as Trish escapes through the crowd, Hardy Salute to Akiko as Erik gets the hell out of Dodge... Akiko rejoining me now at the announce table... And we've got to head to commercial break! DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL FOLKS!!!! HIGH CALIBUR WILL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT!!!!!!!

As we return, the nWo anthem is playing and Glenda and Akira are already in the ring. Glenda has a mic.

"Cut the music!!" Glenda demands. The music shuts off as they walk around, glaring at the camera. "We've been hearing Sonnette and Derek talkin' their mouths off. Talkin' shit. Well, Sonnette. You seem to think that I gave up the tag titles? Nope... Kelly said it best. I just set them down so I could get a better situation in line. Thanks for keeping them warm for us. Cuz you see, you've got that ugly, f*bleep*ing freak of nature for a partner now. And I too have moved up in partners. No longer am I saddled with some poor excuse of a legend. Sonnette, I held my tongue while we were partners. When I started to get to know you, the more I started to hate you. Prancing around like you did. F*bleep*ing your time away. Oh... you trained. But I trained more. I held our championships up while you went on talk shows and screwed the hosts. While you were out clubbing and getting your holes filled, I was preparing. But now... I've got a partner that is worthy to work alongside me..." She looks to Akira who glares around with a sadistic grin on her white face. "Akira is as much, if not more of a legend than you'll ever be, Sonnette. So You have your new partner... and I have mine. So it's only a matter of time before I'm holding one of those titles again..." Glenda tosses the mic out of the ring and turns to converse with Akira.

"Amplifier" by The Deadlights cues up and Spike and Morty run out and slip in the ring before the bell, jumping the nWo team...

After an initial scuffle in the ring, it comes down to Spike vs. Glenda. It's power and power in a series of tests of strength and power moves. Eventually, Spike has Glenda staggered and pulls her to their corner where he tags in Morty. They double team Glenda and Morty takes it up.

Akira hops in and attacks Morty from behind. Glenda's able to get closer ot her corner where she takes Akira after she gets back outside. Akira fights with him at at one point is choking him out with his necklace. The ref tries to stop Akira when suddenly, David and Erik rush the ring.

The ref calls for the bell as the nWo attack S&M, soon having them laid out. The nWo stand over their fallen bodies and gloat.

Akiko: Look at them! >_< And Erik's laughing loudest! What is he, Triple H?! He's trying to get in on EVERY segment of the show?!

Road Dogg: Hey, calm down, 'Kiko. Don't want them coming down here... Let's just cut to a commercial...

**Commercials**

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"Broken" by Bruce Dickinson cues up, and the audience erupts in overwhelming cheers for Erik's opposition.

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for ONE-FALL! Making his way to the ring from Mars, Pennsylvania, standing 6' 2" and weighing 235 pounds, the Dawning Legend -- "Code Red" MICHAAAAEL CONNELLYYYY!!!!!!

The screen goes black and white, as the all-too-familiar "Film Breaking" effect signals the entrance of the nWo.

N-NEW-NEW-NEW WORLD ORDER!!!!

"The nWo Anthem" blares over the speakers and the crowd's cheers quickly reverse into boos as Erik O'Reily of the nWo comes down the ramp.

Capetta: And the challenger, "Stylin'" Erik O'Reily... of the nWo.

Road Dogg: Heh! Not much of intro from our man Gary... Judging from all the trash that's being tossed Erik's way, the fans don't think too awful much of him, either...

Akiko: ...

Road Dogg: You gonna be all right, 'Kiko?

Akiko: Don't worry about me. Worry about Erik, and the beatdown his punkass is gonna get just as soon as that bell rings...

Road Dogg: Heh! Right.

*ding, ding*

Akiko: Kill 'em Mikey! KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL!!!!!!!!

Road Dogg: Erik starting off with an Irish Whip to the ropes on Connelly, following it up with a dropkick to Connelly's chest as he bounces back to the center of the ring. Connelly shrugging off that damage and answering with a kick to the midsection of O'Reily, which the kid catches, but-- OH!!!! Connelly plants him with a nice Enzuigiri which knocks O'Reily on his ass! Trading blows now, and Erik rakes the eyes, and... uh oh... looking our way--

Akiko: OH, WHAT ARE YOU LEERING AT? I think maybe you need another Con-Chair-to, Sally! You need to be paying attention to that CRIMSON TIDE THAT MIKEY JUST PLANTED YOUR STUPID ASS WITH!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

Road Dogg: Heheheheheheh.... Not being too impartial, but given the circumstances, can't say that I blame you, 'Kiko. Code Red stomping away Erik about the back and neck, really showing a brutal side to the rookie... Going for Texas Cloverleaf now, but Erik kicking away before he can get it locked in, rolling up to his feet now with a blind swing to keep Connelly at bay... Erik landing a spinning wheel kick as Connelly approaches, and a Side Belly-to-Belly while Mikey shakes that off!

Akiko: ... Erik over Mikey now, with blows to the Dawning Legend, acting like he's hot shit now... Mikey forceably tossing Erik aside now, looks like he's had enough of that... And there they go with a lock-up, Mikey taunting Erik now with those amateur cruiserweight moves, bring the nWo bitch-boy down to the mat again, stomping away at him, and CRUSHING HIM WITH A BEAUTIFUL SPIRAL LEG DROP!

Road Dogg: Lifting the rookie to his feet now and positioning himself behind, Connelly nails him with a Pendulum Backbreaker and continues to punish him with German Suplexes... oh yeah, he's really working that back--but wait, Erik counters that last one, wriggling free with an elbow to Mikey's head and a Snap Jab to Spinning Wheel Kick!

Akiko: Erik going for that Buffalo Wing now, but surprise-surprise, he just doesn't have the power to keep it locked on Mikey. Getting cheap on his opponent now with another rake to the eyes, whipping out a Diving Reverse DDT and going for a pin... DON'T SMILE AT ME, YOU PUNK! AND GET YOUR FEET OFF THE ROPES BEFORE I--!!!!

Road Dogg: Easy, Akiko. The ref saw it, and he's stopped the count. Erik arguing with the ref, and going back to Code Red, using his foot to choke out the Dawning Legend now. Mikey looks like he's had enough of that, as he grabs Erik's ankle and twists, flipping the nWo rookie down to the mat, and getting up to his feet now...

Akiko: Mikey putting him in armwringer, kicks to the upper back and finishing off the combo with an ax kick across the elbow. Tossing Erik out of the ring now, Mikey's showboating a little bit now, showing this punk just how much more he's got to learn... Awww, whatsamatter widdle Ewik? Afwaid to get back in the wing now? Bitch.

Road Dogg: Ref making the count now for Erik to get back in the ring, and finally he does... waited long enough to do it though.

Akiko: Erik with a clothesline on Mikey, and knife-edged chops to the chest now, some more Ric Flair rip-off shit. "Woo"-ing like he's some kind of great star or something. Whatever. Just keep looking over in this direction, little girl. See if I don't gouge your fucking eyes out. You'd best pay attention to your opponent, Mary. And... OH... NO YOU AREN'T... Dogg... TELL ME he's not about to do that...

Road Dogg: Um... okay. He's NOT about to employ your Osaka Street Sniper on Connelly.

Akiko: That thick-headed-- HAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Mikey reversed it!!!!!!!! TAKE THAT YOU STUPID SNOT-NOSED PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Put him out!!!!!!! CONDITION RED!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! PIN THAT PIECE OF CRAP!!!!!!!!!!
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ONE!!!
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TWO!!!!!!!
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THR--!!!! Awwww, GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!

Road Dogg: Erik just BARELY got that shoulder up in time... Mikey shaking his head in annoyance now as he raises Erik back to his feet... Aww, what the hell now! C'mon Ref, TELL ME YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT LOW BLOW!!!!

Akiko: O_O!!!!! What are you, FUCKING BLIND, REF?! That low blow was clear as day! I think this Ref needs to be sent to WWE or something... God, that pisses me off... Erik with a Jacknife Powerbomb now and a pin now... I'm officially disgusted now...

Road Dogg: Referee making the count now...
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MIKEY WITH THE SHOULDER UP!

Akiko: There shouldn't even have BEEN a fucking count. Ref should have SEEN that low blow and disqualified Erik... Now we gotta watch this match continue, with Erik and his sloppy missed clothesline--

Road Dogg: --TO WHICH MIKEY TRIPS HIM UP, KNOCKS HIM DOWN, AND LOCKS IN THE KUMO NO AMIMONO!!!!!! THIS IS IT!!!!!!!! IT'S GOTTA BE ALL OVER!!!!!!!!!

Akiko: Don't cry to me, Erik, I'm not going to save you... All you can do now is tap! C'mon! SUBMIT!!! GIVE UP!!!!!

Road Dogg: And there he goes... arm raised now... HE TAPS!!!!! Erik's tappin' out... That's gotta be some kinda measure of justice for you, huh, Akiko?

Akiko: Not a chance in hell. This is just another loss on an already shitty losing streak for Erik O'Reily, it doesn't make me feel one damn bit of better. When he gets every bone in his body broken, is dragged across a bed of broken glass, doused in gasoline, set on fire, and shit on by an elephant, maybe that'll be justice.

Capetta: Here is your winner by submission, COOODE REEEEED MICHAAAAEL CONNELLYYYYYY!!!!!

Road Dogg: Heh. Well, folks, that's all the time we've got left. For Akiko Nakano, this is Road Dogg, signing off of High Calibur! Good night!