"Grades are like condoms... even if you have the potential to do something, and even if you TRY to do something really hard, they can hold you back no matter what."
-Me
"I don't need my usual critics mocking my cliche teenage angst. This has been a bad day and I'm going to vent on this page, if you don't like it, don't fucking come here."
-Heather's web page, obviously during a bad day
"I try pulling out and shooting all over their faces, but that just seems to turn them on MORE..."
-The guy that wrote the article "Why do these homosexuals keep sucking my cock" in The Onion
"NOW YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER UP THE ASS!"
-John Goodman, in The Big Labowsky
"Fuck YOU, fuck YOU, fuck YOU, you're cool, fuck YOU, I'm out!"
-Some guy in Half Baked
"I don't need a thesis statement, and if I do, it's going to be at the beginning of the paragraph."
-Gary Sooter
"We don't need bubbles in our skit, and if we do they're going to be at the beginning of the skit."
-Peter, 1st place orals champion, the greatest, THUG, disgrace to my father and to my father's father
last updated: 12/31/1
It's the end of another year, and boy are my arms tired!!!!!!!! First I'd like to thank The Academy, for voting me the most popular babyface in the year 2001... wait, I forgot, all The Academy has done for me lately is FUCK MY LIFE UP WITH HOMEWORK AND GIVE ME A PERPETUAL FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM, WHILE MAKING ME FEEL STUPID BECAUSE A BUNCH OF JACKASSES IN MY CLASSES DECIDED THEY'D LIKE TO MAKE FUN OF ME EVERY DAY. But maybe 2002 will bring a new understanding of me, and a new understanding BY me of why everyone but me is a jackass all the time (except most of my friends). If not, I'll just have to blow up the motherfucking moon next year... you KNOW I can, you stupid piece of shit. Oh, and I updated all the links, by geniusly deleting Heather and Logan's non-existent page links. Now give me all your money. fin
Top 24 reasons teachers rammed me up the ass with homework over Winter "Break"
#1 Lack of tolerance
#2 Lack of intelligence
#3 Lack of remorese (and good spelling for that matter)
#4 What intelligence there is, being used for guerilla warfare or loud music
#5 Everyone's trying to get some with their best friend's sister
#6 Arrogant, pompous pricks
#7 Opinions revolving around the words Highlander and American Pie
#8 This lack of opinion being manipulated in favor of others
#9 The impovrished finally rising up
#10 People enjoy small pleasure that brings long pain, therefore don't want to change
#11 Dateline finally makes an episode about where the hell all the American Pie jokes are....
#12 When it comes to pass, that you can't fuck with life and not be fucked with yourself
#13 When people who say I'm just being depressed idiot come to realize they are the idiots
#14 People realize that most organized web pages are a fluke of pointless ritual, and imposing thoughts of others, often from 1000's of years ago
#15 I'm Buddha
#16 People open their eyes to this page and are blinded
#17 Bigshot money trunks fat cat greedy sons of bitch corporate excutives finally get what's coming when they see this page
#18 This is not a Democracy
#19 Krillin is on this page way too much
#20 People can't have enough sound judgement to govern themselves
#21 No truths are omitted
#22 When white trash web pages become so common that there is too much crime and not enough prisons
#23 When people realize they are just circuits, circuits with an undying supply for The Matrix
#24 But most of all....when the underground resistance...turns pop
For the reasons above people will finally realize this web page should have been shut down in the first place, finally knowing that their lives are more pointless and destructive than any other creature, and they will revolt.... unfortunately this day is still probably far off, and by the time it does come, the common person won't have the technology to win, and the government will constitute a mass genocide of this page. It will be in the name of Democracy...
