War Stories: NERF Assasin Journal
All war stories are gruesome, many are just a matter of the mind. The mind creates these evil, twisted, and demented ideas. And you...you send the friggin' things in! PhatHead2Anyway, it has come to my attention that some of my war stories are a little fake, and many are stupid, but I feel it is a neccasary part of every website, cuz they are funny stuff to read when bored, so just shutup. The real ones have a (R) at the end.
The killer inside us...
We had a war one time...everybody ended up dead. It was great. No survivors. Hehehe...(R)
The Iron Raptor and...The shoe!
This isn't really a war story, but it was funny! I had just gotten my Iron Raptor, and I didn't know how to use it. We were sitting in the mall playing with it. Some punkuss of a lady walked by and needless to say, she went home missing a limb. (No the gun sucks, it couldn't decapitate an ant)(R)
The bunker
I was sitting in the bunker. My entire team was gone, the people out there were pretty tough. My guns were comfescated earlier, so all I had was a Lock'n'Load. I slipped the bullet in and prayed for a minute. I was going to die, I knew it. I walked out, spit on ground and sat there. The cowards were being dumb and just waiting to take me down. I stood my ground, but now walked slowly towards them. This was boring, I could wait on my death bed this long. I shot their best player. There were still 7 left, and I was out of ammo. I tucked the Lock'n'Load in my pocket and prepared to die. I was gonna go down. From Hodes
Action Movie Extraordinaire
One time we had this war, and the three people on our team at that time just really got the feel of working together and kicking major buttinski. Anyway, we all really like to watch action movies, so we were doing all this acrobatical bullcrap, and flying all over the place. We would slid down a handrailing, jump onto the slide, start spinning around and like jumping all over the place like a crazy guy. A bad explanation maybe, but it was crazy, and I guess you had to be there.(R)
Outnumbered and underfed
Our team showed up for a war, or at least what was left of it. Two of our team members were traitors, and one had to go "bowling." So it was the two people that were left, versus two of our own traitors and the team captain. We thought we were going to get our butts kicked, and I even wrote a song about it. (lyrics are here) But anyway, we started playing, and we won a game and thought that we were really lucky. Then we won again, and again, and again. Eventually one of our short-lived traitors decided it was better off being with us. TEA defeated the BACON at their own game. Update: By now we have enough experience that we should have expected easy wins, they sucked, and weren't outnumbered that bad. We have gone very triumphant a number of times outnumbered 2:1. But I don't like to brag...hehehe.(R)
Umm, typical war
One dismal day, I was walking around the battle field with my trusty Lock 'n load trying desprately not to be seen...everyone on my team except for me had been captured and executed...I had no idea what I was doing, all I knew was that I needed to kill the enemy, every last one of them...but all of the sudden out of no where I was attacked and they killed me. The end.
The spitting kid
Some little kid was messing up our war by spitting on us. We showed him...(R)
It wouldn't be fun if you weren't against all odds
This kid got his new wildfire, now normally he plays well, but he was a little "I'm tough with my new gun" and we were playing well, and still getting rocked. So all of a sudden, we're like, stop this crap and from then on we completely rocked him. We would pop up from anywhere and get him, battle after sweet battle. We went home with victory, he went home deciding he'd better run in a war. I had sniped him that war from the other side of the playground with my Custom NSM 1500, if that isn't just pure stuff i don't know what is. We literally played better than ever that day, and we've had very very great moments believe me. But hey...i don't like to brag...hehehe. (R)
More Against the Odds Crap
Four against...ten was it? I dunno, but we only lost one and that was a close one. Never once did they ever use their size and general overpowering strength against us. One of the most exciting was the one where our team was doing decently in the beginning, and it was down to four on four in a few minutes, but by some handy work by their team, and a few mistakes by us, they took two of us down so it was only me and one other kid against four. These odds aren't horrible on our part considering we have the flanking and cornering skills, but its wasn't neccesarily going to be a wipe. But of course it was. We took the little kid first...that was easy. Then another kid just by attacking on good angles. Its even now. One more kid from a sneak up behind the bush and flank attack...that was their best player. The last was an effort of teaming up and using our size against him. Even though the odds weren't impossible...we didn't even make a mistake (after two of us were dead of course).(R)
Blind Side
If there is anything to learn from this, is that if you are behind a tree for cover, DO NOT back up when approached, that is the wrong thing to do. So as we started this war, of course, as every other war in this section...we were out numbered like 3 to 10. But that doesn't matter, it was our intense style of slitting these punks throat that made it so incredible. It was simple, they owned the trees and we were to take them over. Each was stationed behind a tree, and since they weren't using their numbers, we knew they were scared. So each one of us approached the tree, and they fell back like punks. So we go right up on that tree as they left and took one beautiful shot. Each of us had three of them dead. Again we did it. After that there was like four left, so they decided to run for it, and we planned corners with multi-jump-and-run technique and had them in 5 minutes. That was just the sweetest war we've ever won. (R)
THE COMIC IS ALMOST HERE
I've seen a complete page and its incredible, check for it soon.
