The 1998 Joe S Awards
New Year, New Name, New Server, New Attitude!
I sounded just like a Fox Sports commercial just then, didn't I?
Amyways, it's time for me, like 50 billion others, to do
a Best/Worst List of 1998. So, here it goes! (Keep in mind that where I live, it is a small city
and that we get mostly mainstream, so such films as Elizabeth and Shakespeare in Love never came.
But, if I do see them ,I might be obliged to change the list so keep watching!)
Best Movie
Why save the best for last? I'll just give you want you want
and you won't have to stick around for all those egotistical speeches!
and the winner is......
PLEASANTVILLE!
The first time I saw this I was amazed. As well as the
second, third and fourth time! This movie about kids
going into 50's TV land could've been like The Last Action
Hero and just have jokes about the genre's stereotypes.
It would have been funny, but it would've been empty.
However, this is a movie that realizes its full potential.
It draws in mainstream crowd with it's humoristic comment
on classic TV and blows them away with shocking social
commentary and amazing symbolism. And the movie is beautifully
done, too. The way the colors mesh with the black and white
make this movie a work of art. Now that's what I call having
the horses as well as the carts!
Best Actor
Anthony Hopkins for Meet Joe Black!
Anthony Hopkins has a way of slipping into roles perfectly whether
it be a skin-hungry lunitic, a petty butler, or in this case, a
powerful businessman who is at the whim of Death. He plays
out the character perfectly and well makes up for Brad Pitt's
over-juveniele portrayal of Death. He's serious, in control even
at the hand of Death and always the businessman. Exactly what the character should've been
Best Actress
Holly Hunter, Living Out Loud!
From the best movie no one's ever heard of, Holly Hunter
gives a stunning performance that stants above the rest.
As lonely Judith Moore, she gives amazing energy and believability
to the role that I have seen in so few actresses nowadays.
Best Supporting Actor/Actress
Ruth Lee Walters and Simon Lunz for The Parent Trap!
This tag team piled on to the all ready great Parent Trap remake.
As the housemaid and butler for the respective halves of the family,
they take on the roles with extreme confidence and it pays off for it.
Their roles provide warmth, lots of laughter, and just an overall good feeling.
Best Scene
OK, we have the best movie, but there are certain scenes
that are so great that the movie itself can be great just for that scene alone
Omaha Beach, Saving Private Ryan!
This scene set the tone for the whole movie. 25 minutes of pure horror
as the beginning of the Normandy Invasion commenced. It showed from
all aspects the complete terror of battle and the virtual suicide that
war really was.
Honorable Mention of the Year
This award goes to the movie that was the best of the good films.
It is a film that won't be a landmark in film industry, but
provided good solid entertainment
Wrongfully Accused!
It was amazing how both spoof makers Zucker and Abrahms were topped
by a small co-writer of the Naked Gun named Pat Proft.
What makes this movie stand out is its constantly throwing
everything it's got at the viewer. And it succeeded.
From the endless movie references to the winner of the Tommy
Lee Jones soundalike contest (AKA the guy who played the Tommy Lee Jones spoof)
It got laughs which is hard to do with a spoofs that have ripped off each other since Airplane!.
It is the best spoof since Spaceballs.
Best Music
What is a movie without music? A bunch of people talking.
Music enhances the mood, sets the style, and provides entertainment.
The Parent Trap score by Alan Silvestri
This movie was all about the mood and the music set it all right.
From the camping marches to the soft love themes, this movie had it.
And I ask that Alan keep up the Father of the Bride-ish scores
that keep the movies wonderful.
Best of the Worst
This is a movie that has been given the thumbs down by most critics
and viewers. Now I'm here to defend it and I don't care how much I'm insulted
or written off for liking the movie, people, IT'S JUST A MOVIE!
Lost In Space
True, it had huge plot holes, too many spiders and Matt LeBlanc,
but I did find this movie entertaining. It was simple fun
and the special effects were nice. Gary Oldman also gives a fine
performance as the blabbering Dr. Smith. It was simple entertainment
and sometimes, you just have to take it at face value
if you want to enjoy it.
Worst of the Year
Now for the stuff that was, for lack of better terms, COMPLETE CRAP!
Worst Movie of the Year
SPICE WORLD
Yes, it was complete commercialized crap and I found little
entertainment value except for bashing it. I had completely
no point, it bounced around from lame character to lame character
and the ploy with "Spice Girls questioning Whether the Pope is Catholic"
is the type of crap only a person with the IQ of 10 would buy.
You want a real movie based on a real band? Watch "A Hard Days Night" and
stay away from this! You've been warned.......
Worst Actor
Adriane Lester, Primary Colors
When you have a narrator in a movie, try to make him or her
at least interesting and semi-dynamic. This character was very dull, uninteresting
and a droning voice, a definate no-no for a narrator. It just goes to show what being
a Vulcan on a Star Trek series for too long does to you.
Worst Actress(es)
The Spice Girls
Since the whole girl band is one cohesive pile of crap, I'll
call them all for worst actresses. Did they really think
that running around saying "Girl power" and making four or five James Bond refs
is going to impress me, you're wrong. Look, if I was one of your fans, maybe, but
since I'm not, you should try actually acting to make the movie work. Capeche?
Dishonerable Mention
This movie qualifies as a pile of crap but not the worst crap of the year.
The Avengers
Isn't it ironic, don't ya' think? Well, I am fan of the old
series, so shut it! Anyways, this movie was a simple walk-through
of a spy movie, but the walk-through is soon turned into a deathtrap
as viewers fell into the bottomless plot-holes. It might've
been forgiven if the duo heroes had any chemistry but they don't! They
fling lines back and forth as if they were making sure
they memorized them correctly. It could've been salvigable
if Sean Connery had more to do. Unfortunatly, all he did was throw darts,
press buttons and wear a ridiculous bear suit. I remember an
article from the Ian Fleming Foundation Goldeneye which mentioned the set
of Tomorrow Never Dies being located next to the set of the Avengers.
In that article, the actors talked about being able to kick the Avenger's cast's
***es after Connery did all of his scenes. Maybe they should've.......
Conspiracy Theory of the Year
Well, this is a part I've made simply to speculate. It's all made
up..... or is it. The truth is out there.......
The Phantom Editor
As Warner Bros. began to celibrate their 75th Anniversary,
one man cried revenge. He was the main editor of Batman & Robin
who's name has been stricken from the record and is a disavowed
employee of the WB after the dissaster. As the company began to celebrate,
the editor snuck into the cutting room, found the final fims of "sure-fire"
Hollywood hits and edited the crap out of them. A few of his many victims:
Many of the plot points of the Avengers, all plot points of Lethal Weapon 4 (It took him 5 seconds to do that one)
the last 5 minutes of Sphere which made the ending look too simplistic,
the main explination scene in US Marshalls which explained the servielance
scene of the opening credits as well as many others. He is still at large
and the company has deemed as much as 2 billion in damages
from bad reviews as a result. WB employees are advised
to check the cutting room every five minutes for any suspicious people.
