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6. i don't wanna look to precious

do you love your mother/ the way that i love mine/ expecting nothing of her/ 'cause she was changing all the time/ i couldn't take my mother/ and i'll never hate my home/ but i learned to rock myself child/
and get on/ do you feel your mother the way i feel mine/ i tried to change the nature/ but now i like it 'cause it's mine/ and i let you love me up/ and i let you bring me home/ and i could go away/ but i don't wanna/ i don't wanna be too smart/ i don't wanna talk too fast/ i don't wanna look to precious/ first impressions never last/ there's always complications/ weird vibrations/ frustrations/ have patience/ do you love your mother/ 'cause God i love mine/ in a dream she let me love her/ gotta hand it to my mind/ in case you never meet her/ i'll tell you what it is/ she was lonely like a woman/ but she was just a kid

i've been dreaming all my life of going back to my old house, and it's rotting away, or maybe i live in some slum where the ghosts are trying to scare me's always the same. i have to find my room and drag my bed there. and everytime i find my room, it's bare and haunted. i find my mom and we have a fight, i have to run away. i have to evade being caught or shot, and i always do find a way out.some nights i even hit back. two nights ago i seduced my predator and the dream ended. i woke up confused. last night i dreamed i cleaned out a pool that was filled with scum and who knows what else. and the previous night i went back to my old house and cleaned up the back yard. there was at least a layer a foot thick of shit that i had to shovel away before i could see the ground. noone else in my family wanted to help me.i'm not mad, i just want it done. same with the pool, there was this huge blanket at the bottom of the pool, it had decayed so badly but you could see that it was once a beautiful blanket. did i want to salvage it? i don't know, i woke up too soon. maybe i will tonight.

the above song quoted from Sophie B. Hawkins "Carry Me"