The Voices in Her Head 2
HER *Oh* My God MISS PANIC ATTACK Oh *My* God MISS LOVEY DOVEY Oh My *God* MISS EVIL AND MAYHEM Oh My God MISS PANIC ATTACK Oh My God Oh My God Oh My God Oh My God Oh My God Oh My God MISS SENSIBLE Will you all chill out please? MISS PANIC ATTACK Chill? What do you mean chill? I can't chill. I can't even get vaguely luke-warm. MISS LOVEY DOVEY Oh My God. What are we going to do? MISS EVIL AND MAYHEM Even I never thought of something this heinous. MISS PANIC ATTACK This is worse than that time when we got run over by that motorist HER Yes, but that time it was just me in hospital - haven't got a clue where you guys went to. MISS LOVEY DOVEY Focus on the situation here will you. What are we going to do? How will we survive? How can we carry on meeting attractive men when we're in a financial crisis? HER Oh my god, I hadn't thought of that MISS PANIC ATTACK We'll starve, we'll freeze. It's nearly Christmas. We wont be able to go shopping - Arrrrrrggggghhhhhh HER Maybe it's not going to be *that* bad. MISS SENSIBLE Lets look at this sensibly. You have to remember that we'll sort something out. MISS EVIL AND MAYHEM You could always become a stripper, or lap dancer HER Yeah, with thighs like this they'd definitely employ me...Not. It's like everyone at work has already cracked that joke, then we smile externally, but inside we're all just burning up with anger, fear and frustration. MISS SENSIBLE What you have to do is try to be happy, without making yourself sound like a Monty Python anthem HER What? MISS SENSIBLE Never Mind. I see little miss panic has calmed down a bit. MISS PANIC ATTACK What did you put in that doughnut you made me eat earlier? MISS EVIL AND MAYHEM Just a mild sedative. MISS SENSIBLE Now, that wasn't very nice was it? MISS EVIL AND MAYHEM Yeah, but she was getting on my nerves. HER Look, if I still have a job it'll be crap, cos the company will be tits up, if I don't have a job, it'll be crap, cos I'll have to go through the hassle of finding a new one, and I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life, and If I have a job at least I'll have money MISS SENSIBLE But if you don't have your job, you'll have an opportunity. MISS EVIL AND MAYHEM Opportunity Opportshmunity MISS SENSIBLE Excuse me? MISS EVIL AND MAYHEM Not having a job is always crap, you have to sit at home and watch daytime TV, while pretending to apply for jobs, applying for jobs which are way out of your attainment, or applying for crappy jobs that you're overqualified for, and know you would hate. You end up working in a hamburger joint, putting on weight and just having enough to scrape by on. MISS SENSIBLE Ignore her, she's just being pessimistic, besides, daytime TV isn't that bad, and you'd get to watch Lorraine Kelly. And nobody calls them hamburger joints anyway, it will be a very nice, but greasy establishment I'm sure. MISS PANIC ATTACK Happy Happy Joy Joy! Happy Happy Joy Joy! Happy Happy Joy Joy! Happy Happy Joy Joy! Argggghhhhhhh. MISS EVIL AND MAYHEM I think the doughnut's worn off. HER I will survive MISS EVIL AND MAYHEM Oh God, do we all have to start singing back up vocals again?
