She stole the last toy on the shelf
That I wanted for my son.
Before I could grab it
She snatched the very last one.
She barged in front of me in the queue
The hustle and bustle was incredible.
Stood there proudly clutching her shopping
I’m probably just invisible.
All these women were different,
But that didn’t matter one bit.
They all had that uppity, better than thou attitude
The last one got it, cos she deserved it.
From my basket I carefully prised
The pair of scissors for Aunty Maureen.
I’d also got her an embroidery set
Because she does like her sewing.
Her coat was up against my face
Then with a sudden thwack
I drew my scissors in the air
And stabbed her in the back.
Silence for a second
Then a shrill scream and a thud.
The eagle had landed
Splattered with blood.
Her baubles bounced free from her basket
And bowled themselves across the floor.
Her tinsel snaked away from her grip
And a cuddly pig made a dash for the door.
Christmas shopping is over for me now
I guess I’ve been a sinner.
Well at least there’s one good thing
I don’t have to cook Christmas dinner.
