Signs That Your Loved One May Be A Die-Hard Monkees Fan
(and may possibly need medical attention)
When she found out that Davy would be performing in your area she ran to you shouting, "The British is coming! The British is coming!"
She made you a tape of Monkees songs that she says will change your life.
She keeps insisting that you help her erect a tent on Micky's front lawn.
She changed all of the cereal boxes to say "Davy Flakes" and "Cap'n Davy".
She's finally stopped wearing bellbottoms now that everyone else is.
If you didn't know any better you'd think she was having an affair with one of them.
You keep catching her dancing on the kitchen counter singing Old Folks At Home.
She sings her name in place of Valeri because it fits and sounds alot better anyway. (example: "Na-aaa-aaatalie...")
She talks about the "good old days" when she and the boys would run along the beach and frolic in the waves.
She constantly breaks into your conversations with phrases like, "Well, Davy Jones said..."
One especially strange day she is suddenly convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that she can play the harp, even though she could never even learn to play House of The Rising Sun on the guitar.
She watches the Monkees twenty-four hours a day whether the TV is on or not (you gotta think about that one).
Every month she expresses fear that Mr. Babbit is going to come barging in to collect the rent.
She keeps claiming that she’s going to buy herself a dog because she needs a friend now.
She refers to any of the four guys as if they were personal friends of hers.
She talks about marrying Davy Jones as if it might actually happen.
She spends hours discussing the movie Head with her best friend until they think that they have figured out their own personal philosphy of the movie and vow to live by those standards for the rest of their lives.
When telling about things that have happened to her she usually throws in a comparison to a Monkees episode.
She rents a beach house with only three walls and decorates it to look exactly like the Monkees pad, setting up old cameras and lights and hiring a guy to sit in a directors chair and yell "cut" every once in a while.
You give someone directions to get to your house and when you’re finished she adds, "You’ve got to monk the cookie, cook the Monkee and find the cookie."
All of her girl friends are actually men dressed in really bad drag.
She tells you about a time when she went to a haunted castle and was turned into a wolfman.
She knows she’s slipping off the edge of sanity and she doesn’t care.
She has a big sign on her front door that says "Frodis Room".
She regularly uses sixties catch phrases in public as if no one is looking at her strangely.
She wears a green stocking hat even in the summertime.
Her alarm clock is set to play Daydream Believer every morning.
Her belt is always buckled on the side.
She carries around a gaudy tote bag with their pictures all over it.
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