The Visionary, the great Leader in Popular Comedy: Bob Saget
This is a page dedicated to the violent, vulgar, sexually addicted stand-up comic. He has been called "Satan," "Bad Motherfucker," and "Barbra Streisand," but whatever you call him, you better watch out. His tirades full of curse words, sexual innuendo, and more importantly violent fits have given this Bad Ass a reputation. Getting his start in the middle seventies in the seedy Los Angeles strip bars, Bob the Bad Ass had his way with the audience; paving the way for such outrageous acts like Sam Kineson, Andrew Dice Clay, and Martin Lawrence.
Of course, his off stage antics made him a living legend. Frequent sexual encounters with various diseased hookers, three at a time, only left his sexual drive ready for the big time-National Television. Catching his big break when an executive from ABC spotted him at The Hooter Hut in Southern California, Bob was a natural fit for the roll envisioned for him. Bob played Danny Tanner for what seemed like an eternity to most people, four years too long in fact, but his wonderful acting ability clouded the audience to his true person. In between takes, Bob had his way with the children on the set, frequently forcing himself upon them against their will. These maniacle actions only set him up for the biggest downfall of his career.
America's Funniest Home Videos.
No one knew why Bob would sink so low just to make extra money for this piss poor television network. It was, in fact, his sexual leisons on the set of Full House that brought him to this lowly state. Blackmailed by the corporate pukes at ABC, Bob was forced to take this dreadful job and provide ludicrous voice-overs to save his career. The one-time Bad Ass was now a crappy television star, for crappy television shows.
Of course, Bob's true brand of humor was not allowed on the set of America's Funniest Home Videos, despite his constant pleading. Eventually, in the middle 1990's, people grew tired of Bob's false image and demanded him to unveil his true nature. This came to fruition on the final episode of America's Funniest, when Bob actually went out with a video camera and kicked strangers in the groin, forced babies to puke on their pets, and throw food all around certain fancy restaurants. America loved it! But, the executives could not finance this endeavor, so they dropped the show.
But, not to worry. Bob is still around. He even has an album called "Fuck all you Assholes." Walmart and Kmart have discontinued selling this product. His single "I Eat Pussy Five Times a Day" is currently number 712 on the Billboard top 1000 list. Due to the graphic content, radios have banned the song; record sales have suffered exponentially.
No, Bob, "You're too cool."
Back, back I say